Chapter 213: Coming Back to Sam's Place
The nurses help me bathe, get dressed and get on the wheelchair. The nurses wheeled me to the front of the hospital with Sam was for me by his truck. Sam heard me coming and he turned around, and he smiled to me.
I smiled casually to him. He helped me get on the truck. I heard Dr. River calling out, "wait!"
Sam pulled the window done, and Dr. River timidly gave a bag to Sam through the window. He said, "we almost forgot about your medications. The instructions are all in the bag. Good luck. See you in two weeks back at the tribal clinic."
Sam nodded at Dr. River while I said, "thank you."
He smiled softly to me before walking away. Sam gave me the bag as he started the truck and drove off. On the way back to the reservation, I looked through the medications. One was pain medication, an ointment for my bruises, and Prozac for depression. Oof.
Once we got back home, Sam carried me inside to his house and he surprisingly made dinner for me. It was sweet of him. I offered to wash dishes, but he stubbornly said no. I let it go only to demand Sam to let me walk around the house. Not walking is going to make it harder for me to recover from my broken leg. He finally let me walk back to the bedroom to change my pjs.
When I took off my clothes, and my bra off. I like sleeping without my bra on, so I was only wearing my undies. I saw myself in the mirror. I was pale, and I had dark bags under my eyes. It looked like I lost some weight from the feeding program that I had back in the hospital and being in excruciating pain two days before that. I can also see the bruises around my stomach and lower back. I sighed. I stared at myself in the mirror.
This is my face now…and my body.
I touch my 'face' and I looked at myself carefully. Thankfully, she looks exactly like me, so there isn't much of a difference…I can adapt more smoothly this way. I swallowed thickly as I gripped the bathroom's sink tightly. I hung my head lowly, and my hands were trembling. It's scary to know this is my 'new' body. It's my body, but not really. I felt warm hands behind my back, and I jumped straight up. Sam was behind me. I was watching him through the mirror, and he had a complicated expression on his face. He wasn't really looking at me, but the bruises in my stomach.
He said lowly, "I'm not sorry for being rough with you when..you attempted suicide. I did what I could to keep you alive, but I am sorry that it left you bruises."
I nodded. He ran through his hands across my body. I feel him exploring my body with warm, calloused hands. He even fondling my breasts slightly, but I wasn't disturbed. I felt numb in fact. Even though it is Alegria's body, it is my body now. I should be reacting to this, no?
I don't know. I felt Sam crouching down to lay his head on the left side of my shoulder. He said, "look."
I faced my attention to the mirror to see him. His eyes were glowing slightly gold, and he said, "do you know what I see?"
I frowned slightly in confusion. What is he going with this? I said, "no."
He said, "I see a beautiful woman with so much potential that I cant help but want to keep you all to myself, however I know.. I can't smother you. You need to shine your light."
I said dryly, "because of my body, right?"
He growled lowly with bright gold-like eyes, "no, because of your spirit. Your body is an external expression of your beautiful spirit. I have seen glimpses of what you can do, and I cannot wait to see how awesome you'll be in the future."
He has so much conviction and certainty to his words, that I couldn't help but feel a little more hopeful. Maybe..it is a good idea to start my life here with him, but I also..need to keep some distance to not..overwhelm and for him to not find out who exactly who I am. However, the way he worded that, it got me questioning. Does his wolf spirit perhaps know something about me? Is his wolf spirit getting suspicious of me, but it doesn't sound like he is rejecting me, so I don't know.
So, I said with a half-smile and genuineness, "okay."
He smiled softly, and he asked, "do you need help putting your pajamas?"
I shook my head, "no, I would like to do it on my own."
He said, "okay."
He left me alone to go talk on the phone at the living room. I couldnt hear what he was saying, so i went straight to the bedroom, and I started getting ready for strolls himself in, and he had a pleased expression on his face. I looked at him confusingly.
He purred, "I love it that you are settling in here."
Oh, I see. A wolf thing. I nodded. Trying to change the subject, I asked shyly, "so..are we going to bed?"
He nodded, so I crawled into bed. He followed behind me. There was a little space between us, and I decided to crawl up to Sam and used his arm as a pillow. He dropped his arm across my body, and we fell asleep.
XXXXXX
I woke up alone in bed. I noticed that it was early morning. It's too early, so I am going to go back to bed. I was sleeping on my stomach when some cracks of sunlight from the window were on my face. I squinted and turned my head to the other direction. I sighed, and I stayed laying in the bed.
I felt my head was about to pound from sleeping too much, but..I just didn't feel like getting up.
I don't know how I stayed there pondering whether to get up or not when I felt Sam's hand on my back. He said, "Good morning, hon. Want to get up?"
I sighed. I want to stay in bed not because I am being lazy, but its just this type of tiredness that I don't feel the motivation to get up. I know it is depression, but part of me didn't want to give a damn and screw everyone. Then, there is part of me who do want to get up because I don't want to burden Sam, but that tiredness and other part of me, is weighing me down. I was stuck in this turmoil on whether to get up from my bed or not until he said, "come on. I made some lunch for you, and you need something in your stomach to take your medications."
He caressed my back some back until I finally mumbled, "fine."
I slowly stood up on my bed. I rubbed my face from the sleepiness and stretched my back but I winced from the soreness of my bruises on my back. I looked lazily at Sam. His dark brown eyes looked sad, but he gently grabbed my hand to help me pull up. I walked lazily to the bathroom, and when I was aboutta close the door on him, he put his foot on the door.
He said, "are you going to be, okay?"
I nodded, and he looked at me skeptically before closing the door. It took so much effort to change and put my clothes on. I decided to wear a simple blue sleeveless dress since I am wearing a boot. I could wear shorts, but it would be too much work to put it on. If it wasn't for the fact that Sam was waiting for me outside, I would've taken more time to get ready. I walked out of the bathroom, and he was right there.
He saw what I was wearing, and he said with a smile, "it looks good on you."
I shrugged, "thanks."
I followed him to the dining room, and we ate in silence. I said, "thank you for the food, Sam."
He said softly, "you don't have to thank me, Ale. It's a given."
I finished, and I got up to wash the dishes. Sam didn't let me and made me relax in the couch. Once we were done, he let me pick a show to watch. We watch silently, but there were times that he would ask questions about me, and I would respond a sentence or two. I was surprised that he was still here despite of Victoria being on the loose, unless he did what he need to when I was sleeping away. It got dark fast, so I assumed I woke up mid afternoon and ate a late lunch.
We stopped watching TV to eat dinner, and this time, I didn't allow Sam to wash the dishes on his own. We compromised to wash them together. I do the drying, and he would do the washing. I went to bed early, and Sam stayed up. He didn't tell me the reason, but I knew it had to do with Victoria. I assumed he didn't want to tell me out of fear that it would put me on a bad mood, so I didn't push too much on the subject. I left it alone for now.
XXXXX
The next three days, I was glued to Sam. He did not leave me alone for one second. He was always by my side. Part of me feel sad because I really think he is afraid of leaving me alone for a moment. He doesn't trust me to be by myself as of yet, and I feel sad for him. I cannot imagine the anxiety that he is going through that he feels the need to stay by my side. It got me thinking about the people who had deal with their loved one who attempted suicide. From what I am seeing from Sam, were they doing the same thing? Being delicate to the person who attempted. Always gotta be walking on egg shells around them. Sigh. That's not a life that I want anyone to live. I know best what it is like be walking around another person in egg shells. I did that with my parents, and sadly they expected that treatment. They wanted that kind of attention and care because they were narcissist and mainpulators , but I don't want Sam to do that. He doesn't deserve it. It is stressful, and it is not fun. It drains you out emotionally because you always gotta be cautious what you say or do to not set off the other person. Even though I am still trying to adapt to being in this body and living in this reality, I..don't want Sam or anyone to live the consequences of my actions. Sigh. Here I go again with the vicious cycle of depression. I am depressed with one thing then I continued to get depressed because I feel bad for others having to put up with me. I-I need to stop this cycle.
Nevertheless, we got closer little by little. I was more willing to open up about myself without him probing for me to talk to him, but of course I avoided any talks about after high school in fear that he might catch something that he doesn't add up with what he knows about Alegria. In a way, I appreciated Sam's closeness and his eagerness to not leave me alone for a second. It helped me not to think about reality and not waste my life away by sleeping. I felt like I was in a nice bubble, but I knew that…I can't keep living like this. I need to be brought back to reality, because I could see Sam getting more weary and tired by the passing day. I was waiting for him to talk about it to me, but I guess I needed to bring it up on my own.
Good luck to myself. I hope I won't regret opening the pandora's box about this reality, so I finally asked Sam during lunch.
I asked, "so, how things are going with Victoria?"
He stated simply, "don't worry about it."
I frowned, "Sam, I don't know how you do things around here, but if we are going to be …together, we need to talk things out. I have the right to know what has been going on because I am involved in this as much as you are, Sam."
Sam growled lowly in frustration, so he looked up to me with clenched jaw and said, "what do you want me to say? Oh, I still haven't caught her Ale? It hasn't been easy."
I sighed, "I know..I have not been easy to be dealt with lately, but…. you can talk to me, Sam. Don't bottle things up..I know the best what happens when you start bottling things up.."
His eyes soften to a degree before sighing, "I'm sorry..I shouldn't have go off on you like that. I..just have been really stressed out."
Oh, dang. I nodded, and I asked, "..have you talk to Bella?"
He said, "yeah. Before you woke up at the hospital, I had a pack meeting with Bella at the Black's residence. Jacob brought her over. Bella told me her side of the story of how she got involved with Victoria, and she told me about the Cullens. We didn't know the stories about the Cullens having supernatural abilities were real. Since spring break has started, she has been staying at the Black's residence for the past few days. Then, when she went back to school. Jacob escorted her to school to the reservation until Charlie gets out of work. Jacob would escort Bella back to the Swan's place, and we make rounds on protecting her. "
I said, "oh.. I see."
We got quiet again, and Sam said, "Ale..do you happen to know if the Cullens ever come back?"
Oh, tough question.
Author's Note (Update 6:28 pm, and again 6:45pm 7/11/2021):
I forgot few sentences in the chapter and a paragraph to clear some things up, and I realized it when I check through the preview after I uploaded the chapter so I fixed it. Hope it is more readable now.
Enjoy!
