Chapter 7 – The Co-worker
During his weekend Kurt spent his time mostly writing, his story taking new routes he hadn't planned. Sometimes the characters seemed to have a will of their own, driving the plot astray from Kurt's original plan. Kurt had learned to just let it happen - sometimes it led to something better and when it didn't Kurt would simply edit it away later on.
The only problem was, before he went with Blaine on Friday night Kurt had thought of a few new ideas for his story based on his interactions with Blaine. Now every time he sat down to write his mind wandered to Blaine and their last night together.
My life is complicated. You don't want to be with me.
Kurt wondered what it was in Blaine's life that was so complicated. There were so many possible reasons, but one was just worse than the other and in the end none of them made sense. Kurt also wondered what would have happened if he had listened to Blaine when he told him no instead of pushing for more than Blaine wanted to give. Blaine liked him, that's what he'd said, and Kurt had thought that if Blaine got as turned on as he was, if he remembered how good it felt when they got off together, he'd be Kurt's. But he'd been naive and in the end all it did was push Blaine further away.
The more Kurt thought about it the more confusing it got. Blaine had offered him a ride, taken him to the marina, to his home. Blaine had pulled him into the dark and kissed him. Blaine had initiated all those things. Why had he done that? If he couldn't be with Kurt why had he come back to the diner at all? Blaine might like him, but it wasn't enough. There was something in Blaine's life that kept him from embracing those feelings.
Kurt finally gave up trying to figure Blaine out, he could do nothing about it either way. There was no need to torture himself with thoughts of 'what if'. He needed to put Blaine in the past. His feelings for Blaine were new and didn't run that deep. It would take a few days, a week maybe, of feeling sad before he could move on.
His writing got a lot easier after that. By Sunday night he had gotten four chapters done and he felt proud of himself for accomplishing that much. It made him look forward to when the semester started and he could show his progress to his professors.
By Sunday night also came an unease of going back to work. The diner would remind him of Blaine. The flirty, coming on strong version of Blaine who ordered coffee and fries and paid with spare change. Kurt would miss that guy, too.
His Monday was like any other Monday, but still not. Customers came and went in a steady stream, he talked, took orders and served food. Sometimes Kurt found himself staring out the window at nothing particular, his mind drifting back to Friday night. Outside the sun was shining on a clear blue sky, inside the diner the air felt hot and sticky, and Kurt's working shirt stuck to his chest. The ceiling fans worked at maximum speed, all the doors and windows were open.
"Lady Hummel!"
Kurt was standing behind the counter, staring into the kitchen waiting for Earl to finish his next order when Santana called to him.
Santana was another employee of the diner. Kurt had only worked with her a few times before as she mostly worked weekends and Kurt mostly worked weekdays. Today she filled in for Ethel who had gotten ill over the weekend. The nickname she had given him the first time they'd met after taking one look at him and realizing he was as into guys as she was into girls.
"Yes, Santana?"
"There's a guy at table eight asking for you."
"What guy?" Kurt's heart skipped a beat even though he knew it couldn't be Blaine. Blaine wouldn't come back, not anymore, not after Friday night. He had put a definite end to whatever it was they had.
"A hobbit with dark hair."
"Huh?" Kurt scrunched his forehead. A hobbit?
"Short, broody type of guy, curly hair. I guess you would call him hot. Either way, he says he wants to talk to you, won't let me take his order."
"Table eight you said?" When Santana nodded Kurt leaned slightly backwards, enough so he could glance over the cash register on the counter in the direction of the booth. He quickly leaned forward again, heart in his throat.
It was Blaine.
"I don't want to talk to him."
"Why not?" Santana asked, suddenly intrigued. "Who is he?"
"Nobody."
"Uh-uh, that's not nobody to you. Don't tell me you owe him money?" Santana said, shaking her head at Kurt before she quickly pulled in a breath. "Is he with the mob?"
"No, Santana," Kurt deadpanned, "he's not with the mob. And I don't owe him any money. He wants fries and coffee, I don't need to go over there and take his order." Kurt walked into the kitchen to place the order with Earl. Santana followed him.
"He was here last night, too, asking for you."
Kurt stopped mid-sentence and turned to face Santana. "What?"
"He, the hobbit you don't want to talk to, he was here last night, too."
"He was…? What did you tell him?" Kurt asked. It didn't make sense. Why was Blaine there? Why did he want to talk to him? Blaine's rejection wasn't something Kurt had made up - he could still feel the sharp pain when Blaine said he wasn't looking for a relationship.
"Nothing, just that you weren't working. Had I known he would cause this reaction from you I would have made him spill the tea about him and you. Who is he?" Santana asked again.
Kurt's mind was spinning. Blaine had come back twice. What did that mean? Was it a twisted game, to pull Kurt in only to push him away again? Kurt was having none of that. It was better to just stay away, spare himself the embarrassment and the heartache.
Santana snapped her fingers in front of Kurt's face. "Come on, tell me who he is, Kurt. An ex you don't want to face? A stalker? A bully? A bad one-night stand?" Santana continued to list reasons Kurt didn't want to face the dark-haired hobbit.
Kurt shook his head at all of her suggestions. "None of the above." Blaine wasn't a bad one-night stand. Blaine was an outstanding one-night stand, it was the other things he was bad at.
"Fine, don't tell me then, but I'm not delivering his food or coffee. I'll just tell him you're hiding in here, afraid to face him." Santana spun around on her high heels and pushed at the swing doors.
"We hooked up," Kurt blurted out. He didn't want Santana to start talking to Blaine. It was better she heard his version.
The smile on Santana's face as she turned around was nothing but pure victory. "I knew it! Come on, come on, tell me more."
Kurt sighed, couldn't believe he was about to share this with Santana, whom he barely knew. "He showed up here several weeks ago. He was flirty and came on strong. I was flattered and attracted to him, so when he was waiting outside for me on his motorcycle, I went with him."
"He has a motorcycle? Damn, Kurt."
"I know." Kurt couldn't help but smile at the sexy image of Blaine on his bike. The smile quickly faded though when he thought of Blaine pushing him away. "Anyway. He took me to a secluded beach south of the city where we… you know." There was no need to share all details with her, besides they were still in the kitchen with Earl.
"Wanky, but yeah I don't want penis details," Santana answered, obviously not caring about Earl. "Was he any good? Or is that why you're avoiding him, because he was terrible?"
"Quite the opposite," Kurt admitted. "I thought he'd drive me home afterwards, but he wanted to go into the ocean with me and then we sat on the beach and talked all night. I thought we connected on another level, beside the physical and the superficial. At least I did…"
"Aww, Lady Hummel fell for the hot stranger on a bike who showed him interest. Isn't that sweet." The sarcasm, the insinuation that he was naive, didn't escape Kurt.
"Do you want me to tell you the rest or not?" Kurt could stop right there, ignore her questions and her sarcasm, but it was a weight off his shoulders to tell someone about Blaine. He couldn't tell his dad and he hadn't told his friends because then he'd have to admit he had seduced Blaine even if Blaine had practically said he didn't want to.
Santana gestured for Kurt to go on, and Kurt told her how Blaine came back one week later after Kurt had stopped hoping, but every time he disappeared without saying goodbye. Until Friday night when he was waiting outside the diner again. Kurt told her about their night, yes even the parts where he practically forced himself on Blaine, and how it ended.
"So he tells you he can't be with you and now he's back here? That boy got balls! Of course you already know that, you've seen them."
"Not helpful, Santana," Kurt muttered. "I don't know why he's here, but I don't want to talk to him."
"Just go out there and act as if he being here doesn't touch you in the back."
"I can't. If I talk to him, I'll get drawn right back in." Kurt knew he would, Blaine's pull on him was that strong. He couldn't handle being rejected by Blaine again. "Please, can you go out there with his order and tell him I have nothing to say to him?"
"Well, you were his only order so that means I have to take you out there." Santana wasn't going to help him, that was becoming obvious to Kurt and he was beginning to feel that telling her was a mistake.
Kurt tried to figure out ways to avoid Blaine in the diner, but he couldn't stay in the kitchen forever, the diner had other customers that wanted service.
"Do you think he already has a boyfriend and that's the reason he can't get involved with you? Makes sense, right?" Santana said. Kurt shrugged, his chest tightening. It was one of the many reasons he'd thought about himself. "Maybe he has a jealous ex that's making his life complicated? Oh! Maybe he has the mob after him! Or, maybe he's a prostitute! Or a drug addict!"
"Santana! Just stop."
"What? I'm just being helpful."
"No, you're not," Kurt said. "Just forget it."
Earl cleared his throat, reminding them that he was there, too, listening to their exchange. "The fries are ready," he said. "Take them out to him and ask him why he came back. Don't make it complicated. Don't accept any bullshit."
Kurt stared at Earl. He was usually the quiet type who let Ethel do the talking. Now he offered wisdom and experience and Kurt was stunned.
Santana wasn't. She rounded Kurt and put her arm around Earl's shoulder. "Listen to Earl," she said. "Earl is smart. Go out there and don't take any bullshit."
Kurt stared at the both of them. Then he took the fries from Earl, turned around and walked out without uttering a single word to either of them. He poured a cup of coffee, and then, with his heart beating out of his chest, Kurt left the safety behind the counter and headed straight to table eight. He heard the swing doors being pushed open behind him and felt Santana's eyes on his back and just knew she was leaning over the counter to get a full view of the exchange about to happen.
Reaching the booth, Kurt put down the fries and the coffee in front of Blaine.
"Thanks, but I didn't order this," Blaine said. "I just-"
"I'm off the menu," Kurt cut him off, crossing his arms on his chest, "so this is what you'll get."
Blaine's hazel eyes searched his and Kurt met them with a hard stare. Blaine's eyes were soft and earnest and, fuck, they were so beautiful.
"Kurt, can we talk? Please?"
"What are you doing here?" Kurt demanded.
"I want to talk to you."
"I don't think we have anything more to say to each other."
"Please, can you sit down, blue-eyes?"
It wasn't fair, Blaine using that name. It went straight to Kurt's heart and made him falter. This wasn't the hot, flirty, confident, cocky guy Kurt normally met at the diner. This was the guy Kurt had fallen for and it took all his willpower to resist falling all over again.
Kurt sat down, going against all his principles of taking unscheduled breaks. He was sure Santana would cover if needed. "You have one minute. Talk," he said harshly, remembering Earl's words of wisdom to not take any bullshit. "Why did you come here? You were pretty clear that you didn't want to see me again on Friday night."
"I never said I didn't want to see you," Blaine said gently, a complete contrast to the sharpness Kurt offered.
"You know what I mean."
"I made a mistake."
"No, I made the mistake of getting close to you thinking it meant something to you." Kurt couldn't stop himself. The anger he'd been quenching all weekend suddenly surfacing.
"It did mean something to me. You mean something to me." Blaine's voice never shifted, it stayed gentle and unaffected by Kurt's standoffish attitude. But that was only Kurt's surface. Inside he didn't know what to feel. Blaine's words were like soft cotton to his soul, but he couldn't trust Blaine. Couldn't trust his own feelings swelling inside.
"It didn't seem that way when you rejected me right after we…," Kurt lowered his voice, this wasn't something he wanted to share with the people in the booth behind, "got off together."
Blaine turned his eyes down, his long eyelashes fluttering softly. "I'm sorry about that. I… I… it's complicated."
Kurt threw his hands in the air and stood up. If Blaine was bringing the 'it's complicated' again he wasn't having it. "Come back when it isn't," he said and left.
"Kurt," Blaine called after him but Kurt refused to listen.
"I don't want to talk about it," Kurt said in passing to Santana when he strode past her on his way to the staff restroom. He closed and locked the door behind him and sat down on the closed toilet seat. His hands were shaking when he finally let himself relax in there.
Blaine came back. For him. Kurt still didn't know why because he didn't give Blaine a chance to explain. He had completely ignored Earl's advice and let the anger he didn't know he had take over his common decency.
Because despite what had happened and despite that he'd told himself to put Blaine in the past, his feelings for Blaine had not cooled off yet. And now Blaine came back. For him. He said he made a mistake, that Kurt meant something to him, and Kurt had completely blown him off. Was Kurt the one making a mistake now?
No, it was the right decision to make. Kurt couldn't trust Blaine. He needed more than words, more than 'it's complicated'. Kurt splashed some water in his face, the cool water calming him. He needed to get out there again, he was working after all and the break he never meant to have was over long ago. But getting out there meant facing Blaine… Kurt steeled himself for the encounter.
When Kurt got back out to the diner Blaine was gone, which was a small relief, but also a slight disappointment if Kurt was honest. Had Blaine given up that easily? Maybe it was just as well he was gone then.
Now the one Kurt had to face was Santana.
"So, that went well." Santana was still standing by the counter, hands on her hips. "He left shortly after you ran to the bathroom to cry. Left me no tip, just some scrap coins that twerp."
"I did not cry." Kurt knew Blaine would leave no tip, he was surprised he'd paid at all since he didn't actually order anything.
"I know a splashed face to hide tears when I see it," Santana continued. "Tell aunty Tana what happened. Did the hobbit break poor Lady Hummel's heart again?"
"I'm not talking to you anymore," Kurt said, not having her patronizing him. He walked past her to clear the table after some guests who had just left.
Santana came after him, tried to get him to tell her what he and Blaine had exchanged, but Kurt only offered that to Blaine it was still complicated and that there was nothing more to say. Santana tried to get more out of him but gave up when Kurt ignored her questions. When the diner closed, they sent Earl home to take care of Ethel and did the closing routines just the two of them.
Once the alarm was set, the door locked, and they were standing outside the diner Santana turned to Kurt. "Looks like someone is waiting for you."
Kurt looked across the parking lot, to where Blaine usually parked his motorcycle, but there was no sign of Blaine.
"Not over there, by your car."
And there he was, leaning against the door on the driver's side of Kurt's car, arms loosely crossed, waiting for Kurt. Kurt didn't know if it made him excited or annoyed. Things had obviously not gotten any less complicated in the hour since Blaine left the diner, but on the other hand Blaine had been standing there, waiting for him, for an hour.
"Are you gonna talk to him or stand here and stare like a moron?" Santana's sharp voice cut through Kurt's thoughts. He didn't know what he wanted to do. "Should I tell him to scram? To leave you alone?"
Santana's voice was suddenly gentle, caring, and Kurt blinked at her. "Why would you help me? You like making fun of me and probably watch me get embarrassed, too."
"I like to mess with you, yes," she said ruffling his hair like he was a child, "but I don't like other people messing with you."
Kurt smiled. Who knew, she had a heart deep down. "Thanks, but this battle I need to fight myself. You can leave."
"Okay, suit yourself." Santana kissed his cheek and left and then it was only Kurt standing there, looking at Blaine.
I might as well just do this. With mixed emotions he approached his car.
"You're still here," Kurt commented when he got closer to Blaine.
"I was hoping you'd have time to talk to me now that you're not working." Blaine looked timid, his voice so full of hope it made Kurt want to say something of reassurance. But he couldn't.
"Talk," Kurt said and gestured for Blaine to talk at the same time.
"I was hoping we could go somewhere private where we could sit down and talk."
"Like where?" Kurt couldn't believe he was humoring this idea of them going somewhere together.
"To my place?"
Kurt snorted.
"Or yours if you're more comfortable with that."
"Whatever you want to say, you can say it here." Going anywhere private with Blaine Kurt wasn't sure he'd be able to keep a level head.
"Blue-eyes," Blaine spoke softly, begging with his eyes. "Please."
Fuck… That was so unfair. How was he supposed to say no to that?
"Your place," Kurt said without letting on how Blaine made him want to reach out and touch him. "But I'm taking my own car there," Kurt continued before Blaine had the chance to offer him a ride. He didn't want to be dependent on Blaine.
Blaine nodded, relief washing over him. He stepped forward to touch or to hug Kurt, but Kurt put a hand between them.
"Let's talk first."
Kurt followed behind Blaine on the roads to the marina. They drove through the city and this time Kurt took note of which roads they took, read street signs, and soon found himself at the Adamville marina. He parked in the same parking lot Blaine had parked his bike the last time, took a moment to think through if it really was wise to go with Blaine here, to his place. But some part of him needed to hear what Blaine had to say, at least to be able to put it all behind him and move on.
Side by side they walked down the boardwalk. Neither said anything, focus was on getting to Blaine's boat. There was tension between them, so palpable it was almost like electricity, as though if Kurt reached out to touch Blaine, he would get shocked. Blaine offered him a hand to get on board the boat. Kurt took it briefly and, yes, the touch alone sent shudders through Kurt's body and he quickly pulled his hand back, telling himself he needed to listen to Blaine before letting his touches affect him.
Kurt sat down on one of the chairs on the deck but Blaine opened the cabin door and pleaded with his soft hazel eyes for Kurt to follow him inside and Kurt was once again unable to say no even if he knew it wasn't the wise thing to do, to follow Blaine into the small space where the only furniture to sit on was Blaine's bed. The bed where they had kissed and gotten close.
Blaine lit the small lamp on his bedside table, the only apparent source of light in the cabin. It glowed with a soft light making the space inviting. Blaine sat down on the bed and Kurt sat as far away from him as he could, needing a safe distance between them. It felt like deja vu, sitting there with Blaine picking nervously at the cover.
"Kurt," Blaine started but fell silent again.
"What is it you wanted to say to me?" Kurt asked. His harshness was gone now that they were alone and it had sunk in that Blaine wanted to explain, and maybe it was the change in Kurt's tone that made Blaine start to talk.
"My life is still complicated, I told you that. I'm not fit for a relationship and I've never been looking for one." Blaine paused and looked up at Kurt. "But then I met you."
Kurt kept his features neutral. He wanted to hear where Blaine was going with this before showing a response, but without Kurt's approval, a tentative hope fluttered in his chest.
"And you're just… I can't stop thinking about you, Kurt. I've tried, but there's something about you that I can't explain to myself and I'm just impossibly drawn to you. I shouldn't be. I've only just met you, but you've gotten deep under my skin and you spark something inside of me I didn't know existed."
Kurt was lost for words. Who was this guy who so openly spoke of his feelings?
"I haven't felt as alive as I do when I'm with you in years, it's crazy. And then you say that you like me, and it feels amazing and impossible at the same time because I really like you too, but I can't give you what you want. It's been driving me crazy, but I just had to see you again, talk to you, try to explain though I'm not sure I'm making any sense. I'm not even sure you like me anymore." Blaine was spiraling, talking faster with each sentence until he finally stopped to breathe.
Kurt felt like the world was spinning, trying to catch up with Blaine while taking it all in. "Last time you blew me off and now you're… what?" Blaine's life was still complicated, so what was he saying with all of this?
"I'm sorry about last time. I was scared about my feelings for you."
"And now you're not?"
"I'm terrified," Blaine said looking the part. "But I just… I can't get you out of my head."
"Okay, so what does it mean?" Kurt asked. "Do you want to be with me or…?" He had to ask before he'd let himself believe.
"I don't know…" Blaine moved a little bit closer on the bed and reached for Kurt's hand. Kurt let him take it, his body yearning to be touched by Blaine. It was true, they barely knew each other, had only really talked twice, but there was a connection between them, and Kurt wasn't alone in feeling it.
"I look at you," Blaine continued, "and my heart starts thumping. I think about kissing you and I get hard. I think about you naked and I want to be with you again. But I'm not good at romance. I'm not boyfriend material."
Kurt wanted to disagree, Blaine was good at romance. The little speech Blaine had just offered was very romantic to Kurt. And that thing about not being boyfriend material, wasn't that for Kurt to decide? He kept those thoughts to himself though, asking the questions he really wanted answers to instead.
"But you like me? And you want to see me again? You want to kiss me and… be naked with me?" What Kurt wanted to say was 'fuck me' but he couldn't quite get the words out.
"Yes, yes, and yes, blue-eyes," Blaine said, cheeks flushing. "I can't offer you anything, no promises, no labels but I do want to see you again."
"So, friends with benefits then?" Kurt asked, frowning. He wanted more than that. But if he couldn't have that was he willing to agree to less? If he could have no-strings-attached-sex with Blaine wasn't that better than not having no-strings-attached-sex with Blaine?
"No labels," Blaine said and moved even closer. "Let's start slow and see what happens. Okay?"
In the back of Kurt's head there were warning bells going off. Blaine said he wasn't boyfriend material, that he couldn't give Kurt what he wanted. But how could Blaine know any of that? How could he say that he wasn't what Kurt wanted because right now, sitting that close, looking so intensely at him that heat pulsed through Kurt's body, his hand tingling from the touch and his body aching to be touched, Blaine was all Kurt wanted. There was something else that set off alarm bells too, but Kurt couldn't remember what it was he was supposed to be worried about.
"Do you want to see me again? Like this?" Blaine's mouth was so close to Kurt's now the words landed on his lips like a soft exhale. The skin at the back of Kurt's neck goose bumped and desire rose in his belly.
Kurt nodded weakly. "Yes." He wanted Blaine, he couldn't deny it. He was fine with starting slow. If it meant he could have some small part of Blaine now and let it build into something more later on, it was more than he had hoped for when the day started.
Then there was no more time to think as there was no more space between their lips and Blaine was licking into his mouth with so much hunger it took Kurt's breath away. Blaine straddled him, sat on his lap, and laced his arms around Kurt's shoulders. He was hard, Kurt felt it through their pants. Blaine's cock pressed against Kurt's, rubbing slightly.
'Taking it slow' obviously didn't mean from a sexual point of view.
Kurt responded to Blaine's touches. His tongue danced with Blaine's in a kiss so hot it was miles away from their first kiss. His hips pressed back, met Blaine's and moved with him. His hands trailed under Blaine's shirt, wanting to feel his skin and be closer to him. There was so much heat in the kiss and in the touches but there was no urgency this time. This time they had time. This time they were on the same page. Kurt pressed Blaine impossibly closer, their chests connecting all the way. Blaine's fingers moved into Kurt's hair, pressing their faces closer together for just a few moments before he broke the kiss to breathe.
Blaine panted, lips red and eyes dark and lust blown. "The things you do to me, blue-eyes."
Kurt smiled, out of breath and heart beating fast. "The things you make me want to do to you."
Blaine groaned, rutted against Kurt and mumbled something against Kurt's skin. His lips trailed from the curve of Kurt's neck up to his ear. Kurt bit his lip, leaned into Blaine's kisses as small, needy sounds came from his mouth. His fingertips dug into Blaine's back and he bucked his hips up, up where Blaine pressed down and together they made sweet, glorious friction.
"Blaine!"
"Yo, Blaine! Why are you hiding in there?"
"Come out and play!"
The voices were coming from outside, so unexpected, so unreal Kurt would swear they were hallucinations if it weren't for that he felt the boat sway as someone jumped onboard.
Blaine jumped off him faster than Kurt could blink. He backed away, wiped the kiss off his lips, and pressed the backside of his legs against the fridge. "They don't know that I'm gay," Blaine blurted out seconds before the cabin door opened.
-x-x-x-
Notes: ...and enter Blaine's friends. How will Blaine handle this? Let me know what you think!
