Notes: This chapter is called "The Middle" because when I wrote it I thought I was about halfway into the story, but it later turned out I had only written a third of the story at this point. As usual when I write things tend to take routes I hadn't planned and the story becomes longer :) Anyway, couldn't think of a better name for the chapter so I kept "The Middle". For those who pay attention to details, this chapter will give you some more clues to Blaine's backstory.

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Chapter 9 – The Middle

"Kurt! Stop hiding in the kitchen and come out here and do your job!" Santana called to him through the serving hatch.

Kurt looked up and saw her standing there with her hands at her sides, looking stern. Or at least she tried to look stern. She wasn't really succeeding. Her work outfit that clung to her body, highlighting every curve of it, and her long black hair pulled back in a high ponytail made her artful in a way that took away the sternness.

"I'm not hiding." Kurt went through the swing door between the kitchen and the service counter. "I was helping Earl sort the orders in the right order."

"He's been doing that every night for over forty years, I think he can manage tonight as well. You're hiding because you don't want to tell me what happened between you and the hobbit the other night."

"His name is Blaine," Kurt said in a vain attempt to stall the inevitable inquisition. Santana was absolutely right to assume he was hiding from her. It had been a few days since he left Blaine behind at the marina, but this was the first day he'd worked with Santana again. Ethel was still ill and different employees had helped fill in for her.

Blaine was a sore memory, one that hurt to think about, which was why he was hiding from her. He knew Santana would be curious, that her questions would open the wound in his heart he was trying to heal.

"Hobbit works for me!" she chirped. "Now dish it. Did your ass get banged by the hobbit?"

"Santana!"

"What?" Santana asked, genuinely not seeing what was wrong with her question.

"We have customers." Kurt had no need for them to know about his sex life. Not that there was much to tell.

Santana waved her hand dismissively. "They don't pay attention to us, we're just the food and coffee bringers. Quit stalling."

"No, my ass did not get banged," Kurt said in a low voice. "Turns out he's not out to his friends."

"Come again?" Santana said, looking incredulously at Kurt.

"You heard me."

"That's so… confusing."

"I know! He was the one coming on to me." Kurt had been going through the night over and over in his head several times in the past couple of days but none of it really made sense. "We had a really good talk where he sort of explained his feelings for me and we decided to give it a try. Take it slow and see what happened. Then his friends suddenly showed up and he blurted out that they didn't know he was gay before they barged in on us. Somehow he had conveniently forgotten to mention that when he told me the reasons why he should stay away from me but couldn't."

"Wow… But at least it explains why his life is complicated and why he said he can't be with you."

Kurt nodded and sat down on the foldable chair they had behind the counter for days when things were on the slow side. This thing with Blaine had been at the forefront of his mind for the past days and thinking about it again made him exhausted.

"I don't know how he planned for us to work out, it was clear he hadn't even thought about it, how I would fit into his life. He just… I don't even know what he was thinking."

"So you walked away." It was more a statement than a question from Santana. She pushed herself up on the counter and crossed her legs.

"What else could I do? He refused to acknowledge my presence and told me he couldn't change for me. We clearly have very different views of what we want this thing between us to be."

"I'm not saying it was the wrong thing to do."

"It wasn't," Kurt stated.

"Fine," Santana said and held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "But tell me then, why were you hiding from me just now? If you believe walking away was the right thing, why do you look like a dying duck in a thunderstorm?"

"Because," Kurt started but here was where he always faltered when he went through that night in his head. "Because it felt like the only option at the time, but maybe I should have been more understanding? He freaked out when his friends got there. We were minutes away from being naked and of course-"

"Wanky," Santana smirked, cutting him off.

Kurt rolled his eyes at her and continued. "Of course it scared him, and then I was unreasonable. He never promised me anything, he literally said that, and I expected him to behave like a boyfriend."

That was the core of the matter. Kurt was angry with Blaine and had felt ignored by him, but did he have the right to judge Blaine or expect him to change for him? To be the guy Kurt wanted him to be right then and there? Blaine was Blaine. He had been upfront with his shortcomings and he had all but said he was going to screw up.

"You're so in love with him," Santana mocked.

"Am not," Kurt answered, but denying it made him feel like a liar. It was more than just an infatuation.

"Move on and forget about him then. I know all about being scared about what your friends will say if they find out that you're attracted to the 'wrong' person, that you're not who they thought you were, but if he's so scared he can't even look at you, I say it's time to put your heart back in your chest and your dick back in your pants and leave him behind. Trust me, you don't want to be with someone that scared of who he is."

Kurt nodded slowly. She had a point. Pursuing Blaine would probably be a sure way to set himself up for more heartache.

"Me and my friends are going out on Saturday, you're coming with us. We'll take you to a place full of accessible guys who won't be afraid to show the world how they feel about you."

Kurt hesitated for a second. He wasn't sure he was in the mood to meet guys who only had one goal for the night. But he couldn't let this thing with Blaine take over his life and stop him from living it, so he finally told Santana that he would go. Santana jumped off the counter and beamed at him, before leaving with the coffee pot to see if anyone needed a refill.

Kurt would go out and have fun on Saturday. He would let loose and be careless, God knew he needed it after days of doing nothing but thinking about Blaine.

After they closed the diner for the night, Kurt drove his car home and took a shower to wash away the odor of fried food that always followed him when he'd finished work. In the shower and afterwards while putting on a comfy pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, Blaine sneaked back into his thoughts. As much as he knew Santana had a valid point, that he should move on and forget, the feeling that he'd been unfair towards Blaine kept coming back.

Blaine might not have handled the situation in the best way, but neither had Kurt. He'd only wanted to see his own side, see his own hurt feelings, and he hadn't been able to put himself in Blaine's shoes. If someone had walked in on him kissing a guy when he was fifteen, Kurt would have freaked out, too. Maybe he just missed Blaine. At least the Blaine that talked about his feelings for him and how they terrified him, that guy was kind of sweet.

That guy Kurt wanted to be with.

Kurt decided then and there. He changed clothes and put on a pair of black skintight jeans, even if it was too hot to wear those, and a purple short sleeved shirt. He tucked the shirt into his jeans and added a black leather belt. He fixed his hair and put on some cologne. He would make the drive to Adamville Marina that night.

He wanted to listen to Blaine before he put a definite end to their story. It might not lead somewhere, maybe they weren't meant to be together at this stage of their lives, but what if they were? Kurt needed to make the effort and listen to Blaine and to apologize for not wanting to listen to Blaine's reasons. At least to give himself some peace of mind.

Blaine had come back to the diner when he had given Kurt the cold shoulder. He'd wanted to explain himself, and it only seemed right Kurt would do the same now.

Once at the marina, Kurt steered his steps towards Blaine's boat. He knew the way by now and didn't need to count the slips to make sure he entered the right one.

The boat was dark and looked abandoned. Kurt called out Blaine's name once, but when there was no answer, Kurt boarded the boat anyway. He'd driven all the way out there and didn't want it to be in vain. He still didn't have Blaine's number, there'd never been a right moment to ask for it and coming here was his only chance to see Blaine. He didn't expect Blaine to show up at the diner, not after Kurt's abrupt exit the last time.

Blaine wasn't on the boat. The cabin was empty, and Kurt sat down on the bed. He would wait for Blaine to come home.

The bed was neatly made as it always was those times Kurt had been there. He stroked his hand over the sheets, remembering when he was last there and Blaine had kissed him and said he couldn't stop thinking about him. He remembered that side of Blaine that couldn't get enough of Kurt's kisses and touches. Remembered the sounds Blaine made when Kurt laid on top of him, sounds so delicious it made Kurt close his eyes now to stop himself from getting carried away. Closing his eyes brought pictures instead. Pictures of Blaine looking a shade shy of disheveled and so devastatingly gorgeous after he'd come.

Kurt quickly opened his eyes and stood up, as if the bed had burned him. The cabin was hot and suffocating and filled with memories that were too much. He walked over to the small basin, in need of a glass of water. He opened the cabinet above the sink, pulled out a glass and filled it with water. He held the cold glass against his forehead before drinking it, the cool surface against his skin just what he needed. He realized he couldn't stay down there, the room was too small and brought too many memories. He just needed to find Blaine and talk to him.

That's when he thought of Joe's, the bar where Blaine hung out with his friends. That's probably where Blaine was. And though it was the place things started to go wrong, Kurt was too focused on finding Blaine to worry about that detail. He'd come up with something, an excuse for Blaine to leave the bar with him.

Kurt put the glass in the sink and was just about to close the cabinet door when something caught his eyes. Something stuck up above the rim of a black mug on the middle shelf. It was all the way in the back of the cabinet, behind other mugs and glasses, and Kurt couldn't tell why he noticed it, but it looked so odd. Some paper sticking up just a few millimeters. Kurt reached in to take the mug, curiosity getting the better of him.

Kurt pulled out the papers, a whole stack of papers, and realized it was money. Fifty- and hundred-dollar bills, neatly folded with a green rubber band around them. Kurt quickly put them back and closed the cabinet door, his heart racing and his mind reeling. Blaine didn't have any money. He always paid with spare change and never left any tip. Blaine didn't have a job, he'd told Kurt that. Only connections that 'rendered him some income'. Connections that rendered him thousands of dollars?

What if Santana was right. It had felt silly at the time but what if Blaine was with the mob after all? Or, Kurt held his breath unknowingly, maybe he sold drugs instead of using them. It would explain the money.

It would explain the 'it's complicated'.

Kurt hurried off the boat, walked with rapid steps down the slip. Did he still want to see Blaine, or should he just run when he had the chance? But what if there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for the money? Kurt slowed down his steps. If it weren't for Santana putting ideas in his head, Kurt would never have drawn those conclusions. Kurt was sensible, Santana… well, Kurt didn't really know Santana all that well, but she was a little crazy at times. Kurt wished he could call his dad and ask for advice on what to do, but there would be so much he'd have to explain, and he needed to decide now.

Joe's was on his right, a bright, colorful spot on the pier. His car and his way to an easier life was on his left. What should he do? Kurt's brain told him to go left but his feet and heart led him right.

Inside Joe's the atmosphere was as mellow as when Kurt was there the first time. Music and lights and friends coming together, that was the essence of the bar. Kurt spotted Blaine's friends immediately, sitting around the same table at the center of the bar. Blaine wasn't with them. Kurt's eyes went over everyone twice to make sure, but Blaine wasn't there.

It was a sign for him to give up. Kurt felt it strongly. He wasn't meant to find Blaine or have this talk with him. Whatever Kurt hoped to accomplish with this trip out here, it wasn't going to happen. Maybe it was just as well. Tiredness washed over Kurt, hitting him hard. It had been a long week with many late nights lying awake thinking about Blaine. He just wanted to go home and sleep for a week.

"Kurt?" It was Nick's cheerful voice calling out his name in surprise. "Kurt, come over here." Nick waved at him to join them.

Had Kurt left immediately when he noticed Blaine wasn't there instead of lingering with his thoughts, he would be on his way home. Now he felt he had no option but to stay. Nick was friendly, Kurt couldn't pretend he didn't hear him.

"Hey, Kurt, what are you doing here?" Nick asked as Kurt joined him and the others.

Kurt used the lie he'd thought up when he decided to go to Joe's. "It's kind of embarrassing but I've lost my wallet and I wanted to check if I left it at Blaine's boat," Kurt said. "He wasn't there so I thought I'd look here."

"He was just here," Nick said, "but the harbor master came looking for him. Something about this month's payment or something." Nick shrugged, not bothered by the whys. Kurt thought about the stack of money in Blaine's kitchen cabinet and thought that Blaine should have no problem paying his monthly fees. "He'll be back soon. Sit down, have a beer in the meantime. On me since you don't have your wallet."

Kurt was driving, but one beer wouldn't make a difference. He could need it. He sat down next to Nick while Nick gestured for the bartender to bring over a new round of beers.

"Nice to see you again, Kurt," Thad said. "Are you planning on making this a habit?"

Kurt smiled at Thad. "I hope not."

"Are we such terrible company? Nick, we need to work on our first impression skills."

"Your first impression skills are just fine," Kurt reassured, though Thad was only joking around. "Adamville is just really far from where I live."

"Where do you live?" David asked, joining in in the conversations.

"In the city, downtown," Kurt explained.

"We're going downtown to party Saturday, you should join us," Nick said enthusiastically. "You can show us 'out-of-towners' around."

"That would be fun," Kurt said without really thinking what it would be like to spend a night on the town with Blaine's friends. Besides, Kurt was sure Nick and the guys were more at home with the city than he was and that it would be them showing him around. "But I already have plans to go out with friends." Calling Santana a friend was probably stretching it, but they didn't know that.

"Let's meet up somewhere. The more the merrier right?" Thad said and drank some of his beer. When he put the bottle down again, he looked mighty proud of himself.

"Give me your phone," Nick said and held out his hand. "Let's exchange numbers and then we can keep in touch."

Kurt couldn't come up with a reason to say no. He couldn't explain how awkward it would be if they brought Blaine along. Spending another night in Blaine's presence with Blaine ignoring him was more than he could handle. Kurt figured he could just ignore Nick's call and gave his phone to Nick who entered his number and then called himself so he would get Kurt's.

When Nick handed back the phone his fingers brushed gently against Kurt's. It almost felt like a deliberate touch and when Kurt looked from the phone to Nick's face Nick offered him a sweet smile. "I'm looking forward to our call," Nick said softly for Kurt's ears only.

The others had started up a new conversation while Nick was typing on Kurt's phone and no one noticed the exchange. Was Nick coming on to him? No, that was silly. Kurt must be tired, and the half of a beer must have gotten straight to his head. Nick couldn't be coming on to him. If Blaine had a friend that was gay it made no sense that Blaine was scared of his friends finding out about him being gay. But then Kurt looked down at his phone and noticed that Nick had added a heart-eyed emoji after his name.

Did Nick know Kurt was gay? Did the others know? Kurt didn't really care if they knew or not, he was who he was and he was done hiding it. But Nick's move surprised him.

Kurt opened his mouth to say something but at that moment Blaine entered Joe's and Kurt's words were left unspoken as his eyes were glued on Blaine, his heart pounding in his chest. Blaine, no matter how complicated, was still as gorgeous as ever and his appearance still took Kurt's breath away.

Blaine went past everybody and headed straight to the bar. He looked stressed and wound up, his shoulders were tense and pulled up high. Kurt watched as he ordered a shot of whiskey, downing it in one go with a jerk to his head. When the glass was empty Blaine grimaced with distaste and put it down on the bar again. Blaine sat down on the nearest bar stool and ordered another shot of whiskey.

"He gets like that sometimes," Nick said close to Kurt as if he could read Kurt's mind. It probably only took one look at Kurt though to see he was wondering.

"Why?"

"I don't know," Nick shrugged. "He'll soon be himself again and join us. Better pretend you didn't see that."

Kurt was confused. Why was Blaine acting like that? Something had obviously happened. Something he wanted to forget by numbing it with alcohol? It was the only reason Kurt knew why people drank like that. And why should he act like it never happened?

But Nick was right. After the second shot of whiskey, Blaine ordered a beer, stood up and turned to his friends as if he'd just entered the bar. They greeted him like he had just entered even if they had all seen what Kurt just saw. Blaine was smiling, his shoulders relaxed and if Nick hadn't told him to pretend he didn't see it, Kurt would have believed he didn't just see that.

"Look who came back," Thad said to Blaine and pointed at Kurt.

Kurt watched as Blaine's face went from smiling to frozen to smiling again in a matter of seconds when his eyes landed on Kurt. Kurt's heart stopped during those seconds, fearing what Blaine's reaction would be.

"Kurt, right?" Blaine said as if he barely remembered Kurt.

Kurt nodded slowly and took a sip of his beer, needing to focus on something that wasn't Blaine's reaction to him being there.

"What brings you here?" Blaine was casual. He didn't let on that Kurt's presence bothered him, which Kurt knew it did.

"I've lost my wallet and can't find it anywhere," Kurt lied for the second time. "Thought I might have dropped it on your boat."

"Have you seen it, Blaine?" Thad butted in.

"Not that I can remember." Blaine drank from his bottle, a long sip that emptied half of the bottle.

"Can we maybe go and have a look?" Kurt asked, hoping Blaine would want to talk to him. After the way Kurt had just left the other night, he couldn't be sure.

"Sure," Blaine shrugged as if he didn't care. "I'll just crash after Kurt has left," he told his friends. "I'm dead tired."

Disappointment rose in Kurt's chest. If Blaine was tired, he wouldn't be in the mood to talk and Kurt might have driven all the way for nothing.

"See you Saturday, Kurt," Nick called after him as he and Blaine walked towards the exit.

"See you!" Kurt called back even if he still had no intention of answering Nick's call.

"What was that about?" Blaine asked as soon as they stepped out of Joe's. "Why are you seeing Nick on Saturday?" Blaine was back to being tense, almost a little harsh.

"Nothing," Kurt answered. He wasn't in the mood to explain a meeting that would never happen, not when it wasn't important. Not when he finally had Blaine's attention.

Blaine stared at him, but let it go in favor of asking another question. "Why are you here, Kurt? What do you want? I know you didn't lose your wallet on my boat."

Kurt started to second guess his choice of coming there. He might want to talk to Blaine, but he hadn't considered how Blaine felt about seeing him again.

"I just want a chance to talk about what happened the other night."

"Okay," Blaine said warily. "Why? You couldn't get away from me fast enough then."

It was true, he had wanted to put as much distance between Blaine and himself then, to protect himself and his heart. Now it was different. He had needed time to think and now he had had time.

"I think I came on a little too strong then," Kurt admitted, "and I didn't really listen to you. I want to do that now."

Blaine's face shifted then. The harshness disappeared and his features became softer, but he didn't quite smile yet. He tilted his head slightly, contemplated with himself. "Okay, let's go somewhere and talk."

"Your boat?" Kurt suggested.

Blaine shook his head. "No, somewhere no one can find us and interrupt."

"I can drive us somewhere." Though Kurt longed to be on the back of Blaine's motorcycle again he'd just witnessed Blaine down two shots of whiskey and a beer in a short period of time and it didn't seem like a good idea.

"No, you've been drinking," Blaine said.

"Only half a beer."

"Still, it's a no. I never get in a car with someone who's been drinking."

It was a smart rule, but Kurt was in no way affected by that half of a beer. But then he remembered what Blaine had told him. "Because of what happened to your parents."

Blaine nodded. "Let's walk somewhere. There's a gravel road leading to a bay and a Nature preserve by the marina entrance. I think we'll be alone there."

Kurt agreed and followed Blaine as he led the way down the boardwalk.

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Notes: Let me know what you think!