Chapter 226: It's Time

Sam said thoughtfully, "Oddly, they were very pleased with you."

I exclaimed, "Really?"

I was honestly surprised from what I got from Harry and the books, I thought they were stubborn old mans. Interesting.

He nodded with a happy glint to his eyes, "yeah, they are planning to have the bonfire in few days to celebrate the success that we have. I believe Jared would healed up by then to present Amelia to the community to celebrate the birth of the first pack baby. Also, the council want to push the meeting with Quil to this bonfire and tell him before we celebrate. If Quil wants to hang out with us, we can use the celebration as a time to be reacquainted with Jake and Embry…I know isolating them from each other has done more harm than good to them,,"

I looked away and replied, "yeah..I get..you need to be careful with new wolves from the people, but..was total isolation and avoidance really necessary?"

Sam frowned slightly from my question, so before he said anything, I continued, "I know Embry's..situation led you to be more careful, but was using the excuse of mono a good idea? What if someone was persistent enough to go meet them in person and out of agitation to not break the Alpha command, they accidently phase in front of them? I really don't think total isolation was a good idea."

Sam eyed me carefully, and he asked curiously, "..is there something that you found out from your foresight?"

He was staring very intently, so I shifted uncomfortably. I said hesitantly, "y-yeah…Bella…she was really worried about Jacob, and she confronted you and the pack. Paul..he lost it when Bella slapped him since Paul was being an ass to her, and Paul phased in front of her. Thankfully, nothing happened to her, but it was all because she was very persistent to 'help' Jacob, and in her thinking, she thought she was saving him from a cult or something…So, total isolation is not a good thing…Can't they even give a small phone call to let their loved ones know that they are okay?"

He blinked slowly and he said carefully, "..so that is why you helped Jacob to speak to Bella, isn't it?"

I nodded slowly, "yes.."

He said softly, "I suppose some things needs to be changed to prevent any more tragedies with the pack."

I replied, "yeah…"

Sam kissed me softly in the cheek, and he pulled me closer to his chest, so his head was laying on top of my head. I wrapped my arms around his chest, and I breathed deeply. I am so glad to hear that Sam took this conversation pretty well.

I asked, "Can I go see Jared?"

Sam purred, "sure. I think Jared would like that very much. He wants to thank you personally for taking care of Kim and Amelia."

I smiled softly, "okay."

We both got up from the couch, and we went to start getting ready. Seth came back, and he went straight to Kim's room. I was still getting ready when Sam went out of the room to speak to Seth for a moment before waiting for me in the living room. I finally got ready, and I popped my head in Kim's room. Kim looked up and she was breastfeeding Amelia. Seth was turned away from her. His ears were beaming red while he had his head deeply in the book. I wasn't sure if he was really reading, or he felt awkward with Kim breastfeeding.

Seth is properly giving her privacy out of respect for Jared, so I didn't mind too much from that. I asked, "are you going to be okay with us gone for a bit? I am..going to check on Jared."

She nodded, "Seth is here, so I won't be alone."

I nodded and said my goodbyes to her. Sam drove, and I was looking aimlessly through the window. I was missing my hometown. I like trees and nature, but there is so much nature that I can handle before I go nuts.

Damn, all I have seen is a bit of Forks and the reservation. I miss the city. I miss being able to just walk for few minutes to find a convenience store, and a taco truck.

Sam asked, "what's wrong?"

I said, "I was just missing my life back in Houston."

Oh, snap. I hope he doesn't take this the wrong , I added hurriedly, "it's not like I hate being in the reservation or anything. It's quiet, and it is something I need to get used to."

I looked at him hesitantly, and he had his eyes on the road. He said thoughtfully, " we could go to Seattle and Port Angeles if you want. Since Victoria is gone, I would feel more comfortable with the pack and you going in and out of the reservation."

I asked incredibly, "really?"

He gave an amusing smile, "even though I want to keep you all to myself in my den, but..it would be nice to have a change of scenery."

I was shocked. I thought he wouldn't want to me go in and out of the reservation.

He added, "but of course either with me or another wolf by your side."

I laughed internally. It is what I thought it would turn out. I don't like having an escort, but at least I am not chained to the reservation. I can still go somewhere. I guess it got to do with me not being claimed, I presumed.

I asked, "is it…because I am not claimed?"

His smile twitched a little. He said, "yeah…if you are claimed, it would ease me and my wolf anxiety, and I would be able to find you wherever you go.."

It got awkward between us. Do I want to be claimed by Sam? Also, is there another meaning to being claimed.

I asked, "what does it mean to be claimed? Does it hold a special meaning to the Quileute beside feeling each other's emotions?"

He nodded without any hesitation. He said, "..in the pack, it means that we are married. When I make a claim on you, it shows to the other wolves that you are..mine in a sense. Even though we are imprinted, the imprintee could always have the wolf not become a mate to the wolf. The imprintee could choose another wolf to be her wolf despite being imprinted by another wolf. This is of course in theory, since all the women who got imprinted by the wolves all became mate to the shapeshifter. They all were infatuated with the devotion of the wolf that they can't help, but be smitten and desire to be their mate."

Oh, wow. Now it makes sense why Jared and Kim didn't have a wedding ceremony. They were already deemed married by the pack and council. Kim liked Jared mark her so quickly.

I asked, "do..you want to claim me?"

He said thickly, "yes.."

His eyes were watered with complex emotions that I couldn't help but feel moved. He would glance at me with such love and a hit of pain. He wants to make me his woman? Just ..like that? Wow. That's…some intense devotion and love. I may not feel the emotions through the bond like he does, but I can just feel it in the car.

Not going to lie, part of me wants Sam to claim me. I see it like a wedding ring of some sort. Even though we are imprinted and I am his mate, I can't let Sam claim me without knowing fully who I am. It isn't right for Sam to be kept in the dark. A marriage can't stand on a shaky foundation with me withholding very important information about to me. Then if I start building my life with that foundation, greater the fall and heart ache we will experience.

I said, "Sam..is it painful that you haven't claimed me yet?"

Sam's hold on the wheel got tighter, and he nodded mutely. I looked at him thoughtfully.

I said sincerely with tears building up in my eyes, "I-I'm sorry, Sam."

I really feel sorry for Sam. He wants to move forward, but I am holding us back due to my insecurity and fears. I..need to stop running away.

I looked at Sam. He had a painful expression on his face. He sighed deeply and he looked at me.

He said unsurely with his eyes still on the road, "I..know you are, so..I am not upset with you. I don't want you to feel pushed…so I slowed down with you on purpose."

I looked at him quizzed. He was biting at the inside of his mouth, so I knew this was taking a lot for Sam to talk about this with me.

He continued, "I know I was forward with you when you first started living with me then…when you.."

His voice choked, and I knew he was referring to me attempting to commit suicide. I didn't realize that I was already crying when I felt tears dripping down from my cheeks and my eyes getting blurred from the tears.

Omigosh. Sam..He..He thinks he was part of the reason of why I attempted to commit suicide? Is that why his forwardness turned a huge 180 after I got out of the hospital? No..he can't hold onto this guilt or else..it will eat him over time. If it wasn't for the imprinting, then he may become bitter toward me, and I don't want him to be in pain for my actions.

He continued again, "I..thought maybe..it was too much for you, and I just don't want to lose you. It broke me when I felt you died that one moment, but I am so thankful to the spirits that you came back. So, I am okay with not claiming you until you are truly ready and going on your pace. I-I just don't want to lose you again."

The truck finally stopped. We were front of the Clearwater's place. Sam was trembling, and I could tell he was trying to hold back tears. I unbuckled my seat belt, and I scooted closer to him. I reached over to grab his left hand. I pulled it toward me, and I held his massive hand with both of my hands. Tears still dripping from my face, I lifted my head to look at a pained-looking Sam.

I choked, "Sam..what I did..It was not your fault. You..didnt push me to do that. Yes, I was..overwhelmed with the changes in my life, but it wasn't because I was trying to escape from you. I'm..thankful that you held back for me, but don't…carry this guilt around you Sam."

Sam said softly, "then..can you tell me what pushed you to do that?"

It's time to tell him the full truth.

Author's Note:

I know. I was gone for a long time. I have no excuses, and I am sorry. I..just lost motivation for fanfiction for a long time. It got to the point that I was about to just put my stories on hiatus, and wrapped up the story in a single chapter, but I know how it feels to read uncompleted stories. I don't want to wrap up the story sloppily like that, so I started working on this story to see if I would develop motivation to work on my first story.

I think I bite more than I can chew, so I don't think I am going to write stories that are more than 50 chapters from now on. Since I made the first story so long, I am struggling to wrap it up. I will still try to wrap the first one decently, but I won't make any promises of when I go back to that story.

I don't know when I am going to update this story again. I probably give out another chapter sometime on Saturday.

Enjoy!