Well, this chapter would not cooperate! It was somehow both difficult and time consuming to write, despite the fact that I've had it outlined for a while. And I also had to keep setting it aside to focus on work :| But I think it turned out alright in the end, so hope you like where it's going!


There was the sound of waves crashing on the shore, the screeching cries of seagulls flying above. But between them hung a hollow silence, palpable, almost like a living thing.

Charlotte stared up at Sidney in shock, certain she had misheard, misunderstood. "You– you don't wish to marry me anymore?"

For one moment, Sidney's conscience warred with his heart. He could lie, tell her he didn't want to marry her. She would break off the engagement and both their hearts, but at least she'd be away from him and the Parkers, safe from dishonour and society's opprobrium. He wished he had the courage to do it. He didn't.

"I want it more than anything else in the world! I love you, Charlotte."

"Then… I don't understand," she said, hating how young and scared and pathetic she sounded. She switched her gaze to focus on the chain of his fob watch, willing herself not to tear up as her bewildered mind tried to comprehend his sudden declaration. What had made him change his mind? "Have I said or done something that made you think I wouldn't want to marry you?"

"No, of course not." He hastened to reassure her, feeling like the worst sort of cad. Her trembling lip and the distress in her voice were like knives to his heart. "But you know the extent of our debts. If we are not able to save ourselves, I might lose everything I own. And you cannot– you deserve someone who can give you the world, Charlotte, not a man who might be rendered a disgraced and penniless pauper–"

He broke off, his mouth filling with acid at the thought of her with someone else, some other man who would marry her and make her happy — some other man who would do for her all the things that he wanted to, to whom she would give her smiles and kisses, her intelligence and wit, her love and affection — some other man who would live the life he wanted with Charlotte.

It hit him with a fresh vengeance, the miserable truth that without her his life would be nothing but an empty, meaningless expanse.

If he wasn't so caught up in his own misery, he might have noticed how she visibly stiffened, seen the pain flare in her eyes.

"Did you think, Sidney, that I agreed to marry you only for your fortune? Perhaps you believe, like Lady Denham does, that I only came to Sanditon to find myself a wealthy husband?"

Sidney's head came up at the disdain in her voice, saw the same emotion reflected in her eyes. And realised too late that his words had insulted her, hurt her. Angered her. "No! Charlotte–"

"Do you remember what I said at Lady Denham's luncheon?" There was no mistaking her rapidly mounting ire. "Perhaps you don't, as back then you dismissed me as a frivolous, silly girl and barely tolerated me–"

"I remember every word!" he grit out, stung. "I didn't–"

"Then you know that a man's wealth would not factor into my decision if I chose to marry him!"

Sidney swore out loud. That was not what he meant! He knew well Charlotte's strong opinions on the subject of marriage. But in his haste to do what he thought was the right thing, he had not considered how dishonourable and reprehensible his sudden reversal on their engagement might appear to her. By disregarding her beliefs, however unintentionally, he had wounded her very badly indeed and made her feel humiliated.

Charlotte was not unfamiliar with the anger Sidney was capable of rousing in her. Their relationship had been confrontational right from the start, and had remained so almost up until the moment they confessed their love for each other. But the idea that he believed even for a moment that his money, or the lack of it, would make her reconsider her decision to marry him — that he thought her to be just like the woman who had jilted him ten years ago for a richer man — sent her wrath soaring through the roof.

"I am not Eliza Campion!"

Sidney flinched and paled as if he'd been slapped. Then his eyes went black with a rage to match hers. "I know who I love," he snapped, an unmistakeable menace in his tone that had turned hardened men jelly-legged in terror when he used it on them.

It would have terrified Charlotte too, if she wasn't so furious herself. "Then how could you ask this of me?" she flung back.

It was like the shouting match in the street all over again — both of them standing a mere foot apart, faces obstinate and red, voices raised, tempers boiling over. Except there were tears in her eyes now, and–

Sidney's temper died as quickly as it had flared. "Charlotte–"

"Do you believe that I do not love you back, perhaps? Or that my feelings for you are so weak that I would break our engagement at the first sign of hardship?"

"It's not like that, Charlotte!" He burst out in frustration, hating himself for the break in her voice. "I might be ruined, the Parker name could be disgraced! I cannot let this besmirch your reputation too."

"And what would you have me do? Go back to Willingden and continue with my life as if none of this had happened? Live alone for the rest of my days with my pristine reputation, knowing I cannot be with anyone else because I could never marry someone I do not love?"

They stared at each other, chests heaving with emotion.

"I would ask you to wait for me," Sidney said quietly. "Until this is all over."

"And how long will that be, Sidney? I might be just a farmer's daughter who has been nowhere and knows nothing of the world." Her lips twisted in a bitter smile. "But even I know that securing eighty thousand pounds for a mismanaged enterprise cannot be an easy feat, even for a successful businessman such as you."

He cursed and admired her in equal parts for her intelligence — he didn't think anyone else had realised the sheer difficulty of trying to lock down such a huge sum for Sanditon in a week. He was running out of arguments to make her see the situation from his perspective. "Your parents would never agree to such a match," he tried weakly.

Charlotte drew herself up at that, a self-assured, almost proud mien settling about her. "My parents have raised me to think for myself, to know my own mind, and to not falter in the face of adversity. It would be a poor reflection on them indeed if they expected me to withdraw from an engagement with the man I love at the sign of the first obstacle."

Her words rocked Sidney to the core. Not once had he viewed it in that way, that Charlotte might want to stand by him.

In the past decade, he had become used to being alone, working alone, with no one to rely on but himself. But against all odds, now he had someone to love, and his protective instincts had made him rush to get her as far away from the danger as possible, which meant removing her from him. He had not imagined that she would want to share his burden, ease it so that he did not have to shoulder it all by himself. Knowing Charlotte as he did — kind and loving and brave — he felt ashamed to admit that because she would never abandon someone she cared for, and would do everything she could to help them.

"What if this had occurred after we were married?" Charlotte asked after a prolonged pause during which Sidney said nothing, just stared at her with a strange expression on his face. "Would you have set me aside then? Would I not have stood by you? Indeed, as your wife, it would be expected of me. Then why would you think that I wouldn't do so now?"

He gaped at her. In a flash of insight, he realised he was doing the same thing with Charlotte that Tom had done with Mary all along, albeit for different reasons. He had disapproved of Tom hiding his financial difficulties from Mary lest she think him a failure, but here he was, trying to protect Charlotte from the fallout of the Parkers' financial ruin by trying to push her away. Like his brother, he had forgotten that the woman he loved was not a fragile damsel of delicate sensibilities who needed to be shielded from the reality of an unpleasant situation. That instead she was his strength, his support.

Sidney had forgotten how well he and Charlotte worked together, how indispensible her intelligence and good sense could be. Hadn't he told her himself that he would not have been able to find Georgiana in London without her? After everything they had been through together, he had not treated Charlotte with the trust and respect she deserved, of knowing and having faith that she would be by his side, no matter the circumstances. What a fool he was.

He didn't realise he'd uttered the words out loud — "What a fool I am." — until Charlotte let out a derisive snort.

"That's the first sensible thing you've said in this entire conversation."

She turned her back to him to face the sea, the rigid set of her narrow shoulders clearly indicating that she was still riled at him for his bout of imbecility. And despite the seriousness of the situation, Sidney couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips and the lightness that filled his heart. Fiery, stubborn, steadfast Charlotte Heywood — was it any wonder that he loved her? Who else would dare to all but call him an idiot to his face while simultaneously refusing to give up on him?

His amusement vanished when he realised his unthinking actions had hurt her very badly. He would be lucky if she didn't conclude that he was an utter brute and a blockhead, and decide she was better off without him after all.

He owed her an apology for making the mistake of underestimating her again. For hurting her by allowing her to feel that he didn't respect and value her. For giving her cause to think even for one moment that he thought she was anything like Eliza Campion.

Sidney stepped up behind her but didn't touch her, not sure she would welcome it while in such a temper. "Charlotte–"

She spun around to face him, and the quiet devastation on her face nearly killed him.

"If you truly wish for me to free you of–"

"No," he said hastily. "No, I don't want that at all."

Her gaze shot up to his, impatience and temper leaping into her eyes once more. "What–"

"I'm sorry." Dear god, he was such a fool. "Charlotte, I didn't mean to– I only sought to protect you. I never meant to imply that my wealth had any bearing on your decision to marry me. I was so preoccupied with wanting to keep you safe from disgrace and scandal that I gave little thought to what asking you to end the engagement might seem like to you."

He paused for a moment, eyes locked with hers, but she said nothing, simply crossed her arms beneath her breasts and regarded him back frostily.

He swallowed, but continued determinedly. He had to make her believe that he was sincere; he could not have her think he was playing fast and loose with her feelings. "I'm not used to having someone else to worry about, someone I care for so deeply. I will not apologise for wanting you to be safe. But I was wrong to try and take a decision about our future — your future — without discussing it with you. I cannot, will not take that freedom away from you."

The firm set of her jaw softened, and the ice in her eyes thawed a little. But she still looked unsure and not entirely mollified. It made his heart ache with remorse and his stomach twist with nervousness. He could never forgive himself if his rash behaviour had destroyed their chance at happiness.

"I want nothing in the world other than a life with you, Charlotte," he said vulnerably. "All my hopes, my dreams, my future – they're all for you. With you."

Sidney's words dispelled the final fragments of her doubt and anger. The pounding of her heart in her ears slowed and relief seeped in. She recognised what he had tried to do, what he felt honour-bound to do. Silly man, willing to give up his happiness for her wellbeing, her reputation.

"I wish for the same, Sidney." She said softly, not missing the way his shoulders dropped a little in relief. "But you cannot try to coddle me or lock me away every time you have some misguided notion that my safety is threatened."

A muscle twitched in his jaw, but after a moment he bowed his head, yielding without argument. He would have to learn to control his protective instincts where Charlotte was concerned. He knew he might be a bit irrational when it came to her wellbeing, but he could not smother her fiery and independent spirit. It was one of the things he loved most about her, after all.

"And you have to let me help you. You're not alone anymore, Sidney, you don't have deal with everything by yourself."

He sighed, nodded. "I'm aware. It is something I am yet to get used to."

"Well Mr. Parker, it is best that you get used to it soon," she said firmly, allowing a note of affection to colour her tone. "I am not going anywhere."

"I will not pretend that I want anything other than to have you by my side, always."

The last scintilla of doubt and despair was dispelled. He took her hands and tugged her close, and she went willingly into his arms, holding him and letting herself be held. She pressed her face into his shoulder, and he rested his cheek on the top of her head. He was still taut as a bowstring; she could feel the tension in his muscles as he held her.

"We're not even wed and already we're bickering like an old married couple," Sidney murmured, trying to lighten the mood.

"We have always bickered." Charlotte's laughter was muffled against his coat. "I'm afraid, Mr. Parker, that if you wanted a docile, simpering wife, you have fallen in love with the wrong woman."

"I have fallen in love with exactly the right woman for me." Sidney exhaled heavily, shakily, the bone-deep fear of losing her slowly ebbing. He was not going to have to give her up. He hadn't realised how afraid he was at the thought of losing her, afraid of what it would do to him. How badly it would break him. "Charlotte." His arms tightened around her as he struggled to contain his emotions.

Charlotte gripped him back just as tightly, understanding instinctively that he needed the reassurance more than she did. "I love you too, Sidney."

He bent his head and kissed her, letting their closeness soothe, assure, settle him, settle them both. The events of the morning and their ensuing argument had left them both feeling a little raw and fragile, and it was indescribable relief to be in each other's arms, sweetened by the knowledge that they still had one another. Even when the kiss deepened, it burgeoned with emotion more than desire, and they sank into it, clinging to each other, consumed by the need to hold each other as long and as tight and as close as possible.

Up on the dunes, they were far away from the people on the beach, but not invisible or out of anyone's line of sight. Anybody could look in their direction and see them, or worse, come upon them while walking. In some minuscule, remote corner of his mind that managed to emerge from the haze of Charlotte's kisses, Sidney knew they had to stop. It would ruin her reputation if they were caught indulging in amorous displays of affection out in the open, and they could not risk that. It took herculean willpower to part his lips from hers, but he finally managed to break away.

They stood for a moment, gazes locked, foreheads pressed to each other's, breathing deeply, content to just be with each other.

But as much as they wanted, they could not stay in their bubble of happiness. Reality beckoned, and would not be ignored.

"I have to go to London," Sidney said, voicing the worry that sat so heavy on his shoulders. "I must do whatever I can to help Tom and the family, though I have no idea how I will manage it."

"I believe you will."

There was firm confidence and encouragement in Charlotte's face, her voice, and he could not but believe her. Her words soothed some of the anxiety that had been roiling inside of him ever since he learnt of Tom's folly this morning.

"I wish I could come with you." She had not meant to say it out loud, but the longing to go with him was so acute that the words had rolled off her tongue without her permission.

For a moment, he truly entertained the idea, for he wanted nothing more, saw hope leap into Charlotte's eyes. Then, he shook his head on a regretful sigh. "It would not be proper for us to travel alone together without a chaperone," he said. "We cannot risk any stain to your reputation, Charlotte."

"We have done it before. In London."

"Aye, and that was risky enough," he said, causing her to let out a sulky little huff. But she knew he was right.

His hand came up to cup her chin, his thumb tracing the delicate line of her jaw. "When I return, when this is all sorted, we can start planning our own life together."

They shared a long look. Her lips curved into a small smile, and he couldn't help smiling back. Whatever came next, they didn't have to face it on their own anymore. They had each other, and they would face it together.

He bent to kiss her one last time, a quick, intense press of his lips against hers, before they parted with reluctant sighs, and turned and started making their way back towards town.

"We haven't told anyone other than Mary our news," Sidney said. He held out his arm for her to take, and she tucked her fingers in the crook of his elbow. "Do you want to break it to them now, or would you like your parents to know first?"

"I'll write to my parents and Alison soon enough, but there's no reason why we can't tell your family now."

"They'll be your family soon too," he reminded her.

"Charlotte Parker," she murmured, trying out what would become her new name. It sounded strange and unfamiliar, and yet utterly right. It sent a frisson of awareness, of anticipation up her spine.

Sidney's eyes darkened. Charlotte glanced up at him, saw his expression, the slightly wild look in his eyes, and blushed deeply.

It was a good thing they were hailed by a familiar voice just then, because all Sidney wanted to do at that moment was throw all caution to the winds and kiss Charlotte senseless.


Thanks for reading! Leave a review, let me know what you think!

And wherever you are, I hope you and your family and friends are doing alright in these strange and crazy times. Take care, stay safe, and be well, everyone!