A huge chapter that is about 95% Sidlotte. Charlotte and Sidney did not want to stop talking. Or doing other things. But they had to stop those activities eventually, so they continued talking.
Also, as always, I deeply, deeply appreciate the faves, follows, reviews and all the love and encouragement you've given this story. Thank you so much and much love to you all.
It was almost midnight. Charlotte paced around impatiently in her room. She was waiting for Sidney to return from his evening out with Lords Babington and Melrose.
After leaving Lord Babington's place that morning after their meeting — a meeting that had brought to light such bizarre and alarming developments — Charlotte and Susan had visited Lord and Lady Grasmere, while Sidney had accompanied their host to meet his cousin Lord Rupert Melrose.
Meeting Lord and Lady Grasmere had been nerve-wracking but ultimately successful. Charlotte understood why Susan had said it was Lady Grasmere who needed to be convinced about investing in Sanditon more than her husband. She seemed to be just as knowledgeable as him when it came to their finances — and a lot more fastidious.
The steely-eyed noblewoman had asked several pertinent questions about the development of Sanditon and some of the future projects Charlotte and the Parkers intended to undertake. With no certain plans in place as yet, Charlotte had no choice but to embellish a little and share some of her own ideas that she had in mind and hoped to implement.
There would be an opening ball of the summer season as well as the midsummer ball and the regatta, of course. But they would certainly need more entertainment if they were to attract visitors all year around. To that end, Charlotte had thought of organising musical recitals, monthly assemblies, and balls for Christmas and New Year's. She also felt Sanditon would benefit greatly from having tea rooms where people, especially women, could meet. The men had the bar at the Crown Hotel as well as the Sanditon Arms tavern, but the women had no public place to gather and socialize.
And her most ambitious idea yet — a long promenade along the seafront, just above the beach, which she felt would be the perfect spot to take long walks and admire the beauty of both the town as well as the sea. More, it would give her a chance to accommodate Mr. Stringer's pagoda, which, as he had described, would provide a focal point for the beachfront vista.
She made no promises, of course, but did say that she and Sidney had discussed some of these ideas as potential projects.
It was only after a thorough interrogation that Lady Grasmere had been convinced to invest her money — mainly, Susan confided in her later although Charlotte found it hard to believe, because Charlotte was to handle the management herself. The Grasmeres had apparently been quite impressed by her ideas, her persuasive pitch and the fact that she had actively taken on the task of promoting and managing the town to help her friends. They had pledged twenty thousand pounds, a figure so unexpectedly high that it had caused her to feel giddy and weak with relief.
But in the end, Lady Grasmere had smiled kindly and said she looked forward to visiting Sanditon, that they would certainly rent an apartment there the next summer, and she was sure Charlotte would do a wonderful job of managing the project.
Charlotte was still mulling over her eventful day. She had not imagined she would meet so many accomplished women, let alone in one morning. Lady Augusta, Miss Penelope Abbott, Miss Cassandra Reynolds, Lady Grasmere. And of course, Susan and Mary, who were each in their own ways strong, capable women. Diana too had shown her unique strengths when she had taken charge of an overwhelmed Mary and a disturbingly silent Tom upon their return home. It had shown Charlotte that not all of the London beau monde was disagreeable, and that there were women who stubbornly held on to or carved out their own place in society, and more importantly, kept it.
Charlotte's visit with the Grasmeres had lasted much longer than Sidney's meeting with Lord Melrose. She had returned to Bedford Place to find Sidney already home. He too had been successful in securing Lord Babington's cousin as an investor for Sanditon. The final investor, in fact, as Lord Melrose had offered to put up the remainder of the amount needed after Charlotte secured the Grasmeres' investment. Charlotte found that extremely astonishing and she could tell Sidney did too. But Sidney had not been able to elaborate much about his meeting in the short amount of time they had left that day.
After Charlotte's return, she and the Parkers had indulged in a few quick but heartfelt moments of unfettered joy and relief that the matter of the investors had been sorted. Sanditon and the Parkers were finally saved. Only Tom had been missing from their little celebration, having disappeared into his room as soon as they came home from Lord Babington's house. He had not said a word since he had learnt of Mrs. Campion's perfidy.
Despite the amount of work still left to do, there was a pervading sense of relief throughout the house. Even the servants could feel the decrease in the Parkers' and Charlotte's anxiety and distress of the past few days. Overwhelmed by the knowledge that their financial woes were finally resolved, Mary's dam had finally broken and she had cried herself into exhaustion. Diana's determination and fortitude had shown itself and she had thrown herself into taking care of her sister-in-law and eldest brother.
Thereafter, Charlotte and Sidney had had little time for anything other than matters pertaining to the business at hand. They had quickly chalked out their plans for the upcoming days and mobilized their troops. Despite having arrived in London just that morning, Arthur had volunteered to immediately return to Sanditon the same day, accompanying Mr. Matthew Abbott so that they could begin the arduous process of sorting through Tom's paperwork. Although Charlotte had painstakingly sorted them earlier, Tom had messed them up again quite thoroughly in the days following the fire. The Abbotts, who had agreed to join the venture in a financial advisory rather than management capacity, would require a considerable portion of the documentation to set up the framework and the contracts required for the Sanditon development project.
Meanwhile, Sidney and Mr. Wetherby, with Charlotte assisting, had begun to write letters, draw up contracts and make arrangements for the money to be transferred to and from various accounts to begin the repayment process to the banks and Lady Denham.
Once this was done, Sidney had left to visit Lord and Lady Grasmere to thank them in person for their investment, and then on to meet Lord Ashbourne and Martin Blake to get a timeline on the Campion investigation, before finally proceeding to his club for an evening with Lord Babington and Lord Melrose. This last was ostensibly to celebrate securing the money to repay the debt, but in reality a way for Lord Melrose to become better acquainted with Sidney and his plans for Sanditon. After all, he was contributing thirty thousand pounds to the seaside resort town's revival purely on Sidney and Babington's word and whatever information he had gleaned about Sidney's business acumen.
Charlotte had to content herself with staying at home. Not that she wished to go out anywhere — the day had been emotionally turbulent and draining. But she needed something to distract her, to keep her mind from dwelling on all the events of that morning — the acrimonious confrontation with Tom and everything they had learnt at the meeting. So, with Diana occupied and Mary resting, she had taken the responsibility to make the arrangements for the next day's travel — she, Mary, and the children would be heading to Willingden. And Susan had not only insisted on accompanying them, but had also arranged to take them in her large carriage, so they could all travel in comfort.
Meanwhile, Sidney would tackle some final work with the banks the next morning, followed by meetings with Miss Abbott and Mr. Cartwright (his man of business), after which he would go to Sanditon. There, he would help Arthur and Mr. Abbott with the documents, and visit Lady Denham to inform her that her money was being returned to her in full.
He would then travel to Willingden to meet Charlotte's family, bringing Georgiana with him for her safety. It had been Charlotte's idea to have her stay at her parents' home for a few weeks until any potential threat from Mrs. Campion had passed. Despite the threat the widow had made to her own family, Charlotte felt the remoteness of her village would be far safer for the young heiress, especially now that the Heywoods were warned about the danger.
Tom would remain at Bedford Place as Sidney did not think it wise to have his elder brother anywhere close to Sanditon for the time being. Diana had offered to stay back in London with Tom, as he was clearly still very affected by the events of the meeting. Besides, she wanted to meet Dr. Mafuse, a former colleague of Dr. Fuchs from Wiesbaden who had set up his own practice at Harley Street, specialising in glandular stimulation.
It had been a long, tiring, eventful day, and everyone except for Sidney had gone to bed early. But for Charlotte, sleep would not come, and she longed for some distraction. More, she longed for Sidney, to celebrate with him, to share her joy about them being free from the debt and the removal of all potential obstacles to their marriage. To revel in the knowledge that they had emerged stronger than everything that had threatened to separate them.
Despite being hopeful of a positive outcome, a small voice in her head had cautioned her, warned her to be prepared in case she and Sidney needed to break the engagement after all, in case there was no way out other than for Sidney to marry an heiress or a wealthy widow. She was not his wife yet, therefore their relationship was the most expendable; she was not part of the Parker family, so she could be the one most easily let go.
These fears had not been present before. Charlotte had been secure about her and Sidney's relationship. True, he had offered her a way out of their engagement when they had first learnt of the extent of Tom's debt. But he had done it with the intention to save her reputation and not because he saw marrying a rich woman as the solution to the problem. And he had reaffirmed his feelings for her throughout, so she was in no doubt where his heart lay.
But Tom's clear opposition to their betrothal had shaken her. It was hard to believe that the argument with the eldest Parker brother had occurred just that morning, before the meeting. It felt like a lot longer than that — more like a few days instead of merely hours.
And with Mrs. Campion's persistent pursuit of Sidney, so close on the heels of her attacks on Charlotte at the regatta and in London, doubts had begun to creep into Charlotte's mind. What would they have done if no solution had been found? Would he have asked her to break their engagement once again? Would she have been selfless enough to have given him up? Would she have released him from their engagement?
Charlotte shied away from these questions; after all, there was no need to worry about the matter now. Sanditon and the Parkers were saved. Apart from her parents' blessings, there were now no other impediments to her and Sidney's engagement. They were finally free of that danger and she just wished to be with him. So, she pushed these thoughts away to the back of her mind. But she was aware she had not entirely banished them.
She had waited in the library for some time after supper, hoping Sidney would return soon. But after a while, it had occurred to her that he might stay out celebrating with his friends until much later. After all, he had been under tremendous strain these past few days; she would not blame him at all if he stayed out to carouse all night from sheer relief. She had gone up to her room, undressed, and got into bed. But sleep had eluded her and her thoughts would not leave her be. She had lain wide awake for hours, tossing and turning, her ears straining to hear sounds of him returning, to no avail.
Finally, she had sat up and lit the candle on the bedside table, intending to read to distract herself. But her book — A treatise on the seashells of Great Britain & Ireland, which she had grabbed without looking from the library last night after Mary had found her — had held no interest. The scientific cataloguing and study of seashells was by no means a riveting subject, even more so because it instead offered so many reminders of Sidney. She could not but help remember the incident at the coves, which then made her think of their ardent embraces in his study the previous night. These recollections did nothing to calm her, in fact they made her even more restless with a kind of inexplicable longing.
Huffing in exasperation, she had got out of bed and begun pacing around her room, which was a comfortably sized yet cosy chamber that overlooked the back gardens where she had played with the children.
Finally, unable to bear it, she decided to go down to the library and get another book and wait for him there. Dragging on her soft woollen robe over her nightgown and grabbing the candlestick from the bedside table, she headed for the door.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
It was nearly midnight when Babington's carriage dropped Sidney off outside Bedford Place. The footman let him in and Morgan, who happened to still be awake, took his overcoat, hat and cane from him. After a pause, Sidney shrugged out of his tailcoat and unbuttoned his waistcoat, and handed those to his manservant as well. He had already removed his cravat in the carriage and stuffed it away in his pocket, glad to be free of its confines.
He had not really wished to go out that evening, but he had little choice in the matter. Lord Melrose expected it and Babbers insisted, so Sidney acquiesced. After all, Melrose had just contributed a sizeable fortune towards the Sanditon funds without blinking an eye, purely based on the word of his distant cousin and whatever information he had about Sidney's reputation as an astute businessman.
It had certainly been a relief to drink with his friends, old and new. After the week he had had, an evening filled with wine, cards and uncomplicated company had been just what he needed. Much like Sidney, Melrose came across as a taciturn and grim man at first. But that was before he opened up and one got to know him better. While not as jolly as Babbers, he was significantly less reserved than Sidney.
Sidney had also missed Crowe and wondered how his friend was faring in Willingden. Knowing Crowe, he hoped he was not being too much of a reprobate, or Mr. Heywood would assume Sidney was the same and ban him from marrying his daughter. But more than that, he was relieved and thankful that his friend had gone to Willingden in his stead, to be there for Charlotte's family when Sidney could not do so (yet) himself.
In fact, relief had been his primary emotion throughout the evening.
It was a relief that the debt had been covered with only two additional investors, that they did not have to race against time and convince more people. Arrangements had already been made and the process was underway to transfer sums to various accounts to repay the money to the banks and Lady Denham.
It was a huge relief that Tom would no longer have any control over any of the monetary aspects related to the Parkers, whether it was their personal finances or the development of Sanditon.
It was a relief that Arthur would be able to keep an eye on Georgiana until Sidney was in a position to do so himself. His younger brother had long left to return to Sanditon along with Mr. Abbott, and might have even reached by now, for they had planned on travelling fast and not making many stops.
This adversity was bringing out a maturity in Arthur that Sidney had not witnessed so far. In the past, he had mostly dismissed his younger brother as weak, ineffectual and absorbed by his imaginary illnesses. But he had the first glimmer of Arthur's wisdom when his younger brother had commented on Eliza Campion at the regatta, reminding Sidney that she could not be trusted. How correct he had been! Now, Sidney was extremely grateful to have another ally he could rely on.
But most of all, he felt unimaginable relief that he and Charlotte could now be together without any obstacles. With the money for the debt being secured, the final potential hurdle had been removed. Now all that remained was to get Charlotte's parents' blessings; being of age, she did not, strictly speaking, need their permission.
Sidney had missed Charlotte all evening — more than he could have imagined, considering they were staying in the same house and had spent so much time in each other's presence over the past twenty-four hours. It was a dull ache inside him that increased in intensity with every passing minute. It was a strange feeling when he did not mind being in the company of his friends at all. But at the same time, he just wanted to be back with her, to be alone with her. Memories from the previous night had played in a loop at the back of his mind the entire evening — her sweet kisses, the scent of her skin, her touch, the feel of her curves under his hands.
But more than that, more than anything else, with Charlotte he could let his guard down and just be himself. Not the sensible brother who took on the responsibility of his entire family's welfare and had to bail Tom out of debt, not the guardian of an impetuous young lady whose life could be under threat, not the man who attended glittering London society parties and mingled with the beau monde to strengthen his business connections. He could be just Sidney, the man who preferred books, sea-bathing and had gained a new interest in clifftop walks with his delightful wife-to-be.
He felt at peace when was with her. He could be vulnerable and know his love was treasured and his feelings returned with equal fervour. She was his harbour, where his heart was given into her safekeeping. With her, he never felt lonely or alone.
Thoughts of his beloved filled his mind as he began climbing up the stairs. When he reached the first floor landing, he paused. Instead of continuing up to the second floor, where his room was situated, his feet automatically led him to her chamber, which was nearest to the staircase. He stopped outside her door and laid his palm flat against the solid wood. She was just on the other side, surely fast asleep given the late hour and exhausted after such an emotionally draining day.
He wished he could see her. A wave of longing swept over him. He did not just want to hold her and kiss her, although he would very much like to do those things and more. But more than anything else, he just wanted to be with her, in her presence, to hold her hand, to hear her voice. It was astounding how, in just a matter of a few short weeks, she had become the most important person to him in the whole world. The crux around which his every thought and action, his very life now revolved.
He, Babington and Melrose had imbibed a fair amount of drink — not enough for him to be intoxicated, but enough that the rational, sensible voice in his head was overpowered by the voice of his heart, which clamoured to be with her even though he knew he could not.
He rested his forehead against her door and closed his eyes, a yearning filling him.
Without warning, the door swung open inwards and he nearly toppled inside.
There was a loud, startled gasp, which he immediately recognised as Charlotte's. The candle in her hand wobbled dangerously and, as he straightened, he reached up and wrapped his fingers around hers to steady it.
"Sidney!" she gasped in a whisper, "You gave me such a fright!"
"Charlotte," he said dumbly, a little startled at her sudden appearance. He had longed for her and wished to be with her, but had not expected to have his wish fulfilled that very instant. Just being in her presence was a jolt to his senses and he could not help but gaze at her intently, making her cheeks go pink.
The sound of a door opening not far away snapped them both out of the spell that had befallen them, although in reality the moment had encompassed no more than half a minute.
Charlotte let out another gasp, softer this time, and Sidney cursed under his breath — it was the door to Mary and Tom's room down the corridor that had opened. They acted on instinct. Charlotte grabbed Sidney's shirt and yanked him inside the room, swiftly blowing out the candle at the same time, while Sidney caught the door that was swinging shut behind them and eased it close silently, almost without a sound. A few moments later, footsteps could be heard marching past Charlotte's room. She and Sidney stayed still as statues in each other's arms, waiting with bated breath for it to be safe to move again. The footsteps did not slow outside the door and they could hear the person go down the stairs. A muted creak of the stair treads confirmed it was Mary. The sound of her footsteps faded away.
It was a moment before they became aware that they were still clutching each other. They both let go of each other reluctantly. Charlotte placed the now blown out candlestick on the table by the door — they did not need its light anymore for their eyes were already becoming used to the darkness. Besides, there was plenty of bright moonlight streaming in through the open windows, painting the room in shades of silver, giving more than sufficient light to see.
Charlotte turned back to face Sidney again. No one could tell who moved first, but in the next instant, they were back in each other's arms, kissing each other fervently. His arms wound tight around her, hauling her against him, and she threw her arms around his neck and held on just as tightly.
It was some moments before they broke the kiss, both of them breathing deeply.
When Charlotte raised her eyes, Sidney was startled to see the wet sheen of unshed tears glistening in them. "What is it?" he asked in alarm.
"Nothing," Charlotte shook her head, dropping her gaze again.
Sidney was sure he heard a small sniff.
"It's just– today has been quite overwhelming, that's all."
He could tell that was not quite the entire matter. Taking her hand, he led her to the chaise longue set by the wall near the window, where the curtains billowed fitfully in the soft night breeze. He sat down and sat her sideways in his lap, not wanting to let her out of his arms.
"Dearest, what is it?"
The term of endearment, coming from him so spontaneously, almost made Charlotte tear up again. She was not sure why this was affecting her now, and affecting her so profoundly. But Tom and Mrs. Campion's behaviour had clearly distressed her more than she had imagined. She had not realised how afraid she had been that things could go wrong, that something or someone would try to separate her and Sidney. And that, as a gentleman farmer's daughter from the countryside with little money or influence, how powerless she might have been to prevent it.
"I know you would think me silly," she said softly, "But for a time earlier today, I was afraid that if we couldn't find investors, you might have to break our engagement and marry someone rich like Mrs. Campion after all."
There was a hitch in her voice as she finished her sentence.
"No," said Sidney vehemently, "No, Charlotte, I wouldn't have–"
He could not go on, because the same emotion that affected her — that he had been stubbornly keeping at bay all these days — suddenly swamped him too.
The same thought had occurred to Sidney before; he was far too astute and realistic, both as a businessman and otherwise, to not think of all the possibilities and be prepared for them. He was all too aware of the harshness and unfairness of the world, and that marriage was more often than not a business arrangement in the society they lived in.
But he had refused to entertain this line of thought. Losing Charlotte was not an option, so he had not allowed the idea to cloud his mind. And thankfully, with the help of their friends, they had succeeded in their goal without him needing to resort to any drastic measures.
If Mary had not insisted on going to London with him and bringing Charlotte along as well, he would have had to take these decisions alone — without the benefit of her or anyone else's counsel — because he would not have had the time to write and wait for a reply. He wondered whether the outcome would have been the same, whether he would have made the same choices or if desperation might have forced him down an imprudent path.
Charlotte coming to London was a stroke of luck but he also saw it as a valuable lesson. She had stepped up and fought this battle at his side, and her efforts as well as her friendship with Lady Susan had made a huge difference in their quest.
Now that he did not have to take the decision, he could clearly see how narrow an escape they had had. More, how disastrous it would have been had he truly been forced to choose — to either marry Charlotte and watch his brother's family be consigned to poverty or to save his family by marrying someone wealthy, thus destroying his and Charlotte's happiness.
What would he have done if faced with these options? With trepidation he saw that he would not really have had a choice, that he would have had to marry for money to save his family unless Arthur had volunteered to do so in his place. He could have never allowed Mary and the children to suffer as a result of Tom's carelessness, he would not have been able to live with himself had he done so. And he knew Charlotte would have never agreed to such an arrangement. Which meant they might well have had to break their engagement after all.
He felt a sudden surge of terror as he recognised the magnitude of what might have been lost, the enormity of the price he and Charlotte might have paid.
He remembered his nightmare from the previous night, how sharp and raw the agony and despair of watching the carriage take Charlotte away from him, feeling as if his heart, his very soul was being ripped from him. The thought that he might have had to experience it for real, that he might have easily lost Charlotte for real — he didn't think he could have borne it. It unexpectedly brought tears to his eyes.
"Sidney?"
He shook his head and took a deep breath as he fought to control his emotions. When she reached up and swiped her thumb across his cheek, he realised a few tears had escaped after all.
His voice thick with emotion, he said, "I hope to god we would have still found a way to save the family and the town without destroying our own happiness. But I have never been gladder to have your counsel and that you have been with me every step of the way."
Charlotte fiddled with the collar of Sidney's shirt, hesitating. "I would have understood, you know." Which was true, she would have understood perfectly if there had been no other way to save his family. She would never have been able to accept that her and Sidney's happiness came at the cost of Mary and the children's welfare. But at the same time, she knew she would have been shattered and crushed if she had to give him up, if she had lost him.
"I don't want to think about it, Charlotte." He reached up and rubbed his tired face. "I think if I lost you, it would well and truly kill me. I have no wish to live in a world which does not allow me to be with you."
"You must not speak like that!"
"It is the truth." Sidney looked up and was immediately contrite when he saw her stricken expression.
He might not wish to think about it but he understood her need to voice her distress, to acknowledge what a close shave they had had. It would forever be an unforgettable reminder to them of how strong and capable they were together as a team, and to be unimaginably thankful for what they had achieved.
"You are right," he told her. "It was not an unfounded fear. But it did not come to that, Charlotte." He kissed her forehead and gently stroked his thumb across her cheek. "Come, let us not speak anymore of unpleasant things. We have succeeded in our goal, as unreachable as it appeared a few days ago. And it is all in large part down to you. I could not have done this without you, my love. The Parkers, all the residents of Sanditon, in fact, owe you a great debt."
"No." Charlotte tilted her face a little so she could lean her cheek into his palm, into the comfort of his touch. She curled her fingers around his wrist. "You don't owe me anything. I did nothing that I wouldn't have done for my own family — and you are all soon to be my family too, Sidney. I love you very much."
"And I you, more than you could know."
He took her hand and pressed it over his shirt to his chest, where his heart beat steady and strong. A wave of love rolled through him. Every time he realised anew how precious she was to him, it made his breath catch in his throat.
"Charlotte…" he began, but faltered and shook his head. "Any words I have seem so insignificant to explain– to describe how I feel about you. What I feel for you is so… huge. It is as if it's too much to contain in my heart. You make me so indescribably happy. I don't know how else to say it. I've never felt anything like this before, and I don't know what I've done to deserve you. You are my heart, my very life. I meant it when I said I am entirely in your power."
He looked into her brown eyes; they were soft and huge and luminous, shining with a joy and love that mirrored his own. He surged forward to claim her lips with his own, overcome with emotion.
"I wanted to see you," he told her between kisses, "All day and all evening, all I wanted was to be with you."
"You are here with me now," she said breathily, nipping his lower lip. "That is all that matters."
"Yes," he responded against her lips, both in agreement with her words and to encourage her caresses.
It only took a few more moments for the kisses to deepen, and not long after that for their mouths to start moving together with real urgency.
He wrapped his arms around her and he drew her to him, wanting to be as close as possible. She was leaving the next morning and he dreaded the thought of being separated from her. It was only for a couple of days, but even that felt like an interminable amount of time. He did not want to let her go.
His hands began roaming, caressing and exploring her gorgeous curves, up and down her back, over her hip, the dip of her waist, his fingers trailing the length of her arms. Splaying his fingers over her spine, he urged her closer, and she sank into his arms and kissed him back.
Charlotte pressed her palms to Sidney's chest and felt his warmth seep into her through the fine linen of his shirt. Last night, when he'd stopped their burgeoning passion from progressing into further intimacies, part of her had been grateful, and not just because they had narrowly escaped being caught together in a compromising situation by Mary. She trusted him and, in this matter, would go unquestioningly where he led. But she could not deny she had been a bit overwhelmed. Her conversation with Susan, while informative, had not prepared her for the dizzying intensity of the emotions she experienced while in Sidney's arms.
But tonight, after the events of the day, all she wanted was to be close to him. If she was to be separated from him for the next few days, she wanted to have her fill of her time spent with him. For when they reunited again in Willingden, there would be little time and far too many people around for them to be truly alone.
She knew young ladies were supposed to be chaste, to be unaware of the intimacies between lovers, and especially not be seen as too eager when they went to their marriage bed. But when she was in Sidney's arms, his mouth warm and urgent on hers, she could not help but respond and everything else ceased to matter.
She continued to return his kisses as she brought her arms up around his shoulders, stroking his neck before sending her fingers sliding beneath the collar of his shirt down his back in direct contact with his skin. Sidney groaned into the kiss but she was not done. Bringing her hand back to his chest, she undid the button at the top of his shirt and touched her palm to his bare skin again, gliding it over his muscles to where his heart was pounding inside his chest.
Sidney's entire body shuddered in want and need. He plunged his fingers into her hair and devoured her mouth with his, and she clutched a fistful of his shirt and matched his ardour. She could feel the heat rise between them, feel his heart hammering away against her other palm.
For a moment, everything inside them was fraught, their kisses taking on a desperate edge. It was so tempting to simply fall headfirst into their dizzying embrace. But they could not be entirely intimate; he knew that and she knew that too. Besides, he refused to let her first time — their first time — be a hasty, fumbled groping in the dark, where they were forced to be quiet lest they were discovered.
With some effort, he slowed. He could not allow them to get carried away.
Charlotte felt the change in the tension that still simmered between them, no less intense, but instead more deliberate. They kissed some more until the need to breathe forced them apart, but they stayed close, breaths falling on each other's parted lips, Charlotte's hand stroking Sidney's stubble-covered cheek.
They both knew they could not go all the way, but neither did they want to squander this opportunity to do a little bit more than just hand-holding or stealing kisses. They needed this — this time together, this reassurance that they belonged to each other completely, body, heart, and soul. That he was hers as she was his.
Charlotte watched from beneath her long, dark lashes as his fingers went to the tie of her woollen robe and undid it, separating the two halves and pushing the garment off her shoulders. She shrugged out of it and let it slip away, feeling his heated gaze rake her.
"God, Charlotte, you are so beautiful," he said thickly, making her breath quicken.
She could never have imagined that her simple, demure nightgown, which did not even reveal too much skin, could inspire such an effect on him.
Not to be outdone, she pushed his braces off his shoulders, gripped the front of his shirt and tugged it upwards, dragging it out of his trousers. As soon as it came free, she slid her hands under the hem and set her palms to his bare skin. She could feel the taut muscles of his stomach tense and quiver under her touch.
Sidney had almost stopped breathing. No other woman's touch had ever made him tremble so. Hauling in a deep breath, he pulled at the back collar of his shirt, tugging it up and pulling it off over his head in one fluid motion, before tossing it aside. He was aware he was walking a thin line, but the brandy he had consumed with Babbers and Lord Melrose earlier that evening made him feel bold and slightly reckless.
They stared at each other, acutely aware that only her nightgown and his trousers separated her skin from his.
Charlotte shifted her gaze to the expanse of Sidney's chest, seeing it for the first time since that day at the cove. Nervous yet emboldened by the undisguised desire in his eyes, she reached out and caressed him, marvelling at the feel of his muscles under smooth, warm skin, delighting in the way he closed his eyes and groaned.
He leaned forward and began planting kisses along her jaw, sucking lightly on her skin, drawing a soft moan from her. He could hear her quick, shallow breaths in his ear as he buried his face in the hollow between her shoulder and throat. Pressing his lips there, he nuzzled the neckline of her nightgown and his hand came up to undo the ribbon that held it closed. He pushed the nightgown away from her collarbone until it revealed the curves of her shoulders and the rounded upper swells of her breasts. Then, he bent his head to her skin.
Charlotte wrapped her arms around his shoulders and let herself get lost in the sensations Sidney aroused in her. His lips seemed to ignite small fires under her skin wherever they touched, setting her ablaze from within. She gasped softly as he trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses across the skin exposed above the gaping neckline of her nightgown. She pressed her cheek to his temple, feeling the brush of his soft hair, a stark contrast to the rasp of his stubble against her flesh.
She squirmed in his lap, trying to get as close to him as possible, and he jerked beneath her. He pulled back, jaw clenched tight, and gripped her hips, forcing her to stay still, and she became aware of the hardness she could feel under her.
They stared at each other, breathing hard. Cheeks flushed, hair tousled and mussed from each other's hands, lips swollen from kissing, and clothes dishevelled.
His gaze was transfixed, his eyes soft and dark with desire, which made her heart stutter and awakened a deep longing within her.
He leaned forward and claimed her lips again in a quick, intense kiss. Then, in a swift and seemingly effortless move that belied his strength, he gripped her waist and shifted them so that she was lying on her back on the chaise. She gasped, breathless, her fingers reaching for his shoulders, pulling him down with her to make sure he stayed close. He gently lowered himself, half on top of her, half alongside her, supporting himself on his elbow.
Sidney bent his head to hers and they resumed kissing. Charlotte slipped her fingers into the short curls at the nape of his neck and held him close as they melted into each other.
His free hand did not stay idle, moving up her side to trace the curve of her breast through her nightgown, then down, sliding over the roundness of her hip to pull her close against him. He grasped her thigh and brought it up about his waist, caressing her skin through the thin fabric.
"Is this all right?" he whispered, lips pressed to her ear.
Charlotte quivered at the deep huskiness of his voice and just nodded breathlessly.
Sidney continued to nuzzle the spot right under her ear as he glided his hand down her leg to her foot. He circled his fingers around her ankle, letting out a quiet groan at the softness of her skin. When he trailed his hand back up her calf, he caught hold of the hem of her nightgown and bunched the folds of the cloth in his hand as he made his way higher up her leg, over her knee and up her thigh, grazing the silk-soft skin on the inside of her thighs.
His fingers found her and Charlotte gasped and then lost her breath entirely.
For long moments, there was nothing but his touch and the exquisite feelings he evoked in her as he stroked and caressed her. The sensations rose and fell inside her like waves on the beach at Sanditon, increasing in intensity, flooding her senses and erasing all thought.
He drew back and watched her, greedily devouring the sight of her — her wild brown curls spread out on the cushions, her breasts just screened by the thin muslin nightgown, skin flushed, lips parted, eyes dark and hazy.
"Sidney," she breathed, panting, her senses scattered.
Her pulse sounded very loud in her ears. She could feel his heart beating in cadence with her own, the warm press of his body against her side, the heat of his skin. She tried to stifle her moans and gasps, but the sensations only intensified, and she turned and pressed her face into his shoulder as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her.
Sidney pressed his lips to her cheek, her neck, wherever his mouth could reach. He tipped his head down until their foreheads touched, watching her from beneath his lashes, captivated by her rose-tinted lips, the rise and fall of her chest. Their eyes locked, his gaze burning into hers. It did not take long for him to bring her to the edge, and he bent his head and kissed her, swallowing her soft cries as she arched against his hand and trembled.
They lay together for a long moment, getting their breath back, gazing at each other in wonder.
Charlotte shifted a little to better accommodate Sidney's body against hers and he hissed softly and shifted a fraction away.
"What about you?" she blurted, for it was impossible to mistake the hardness against her hip. She blushed even as she spoke, for she was not used to talking candidly about such subjects with him.
"I'll be alright. I just need a minute." He grit his teeth; he would need more than a minute.
"Just– stay. Don't leave." Her arms were still tight around his shoulders and she tugged him closer.
"Never." He kissed her, and the tight coil of desire gradually abated and turned into an overwhelming swell of love. He nuzzled her cheek with his nose. She laughed softly and sighed as she ran her fingertips over his face, down the line of his nose, across his lips.
They were so absorbed in each other, so lost in their own little world, this little cocoon where only the two of them existed, that the knock on Charlotte's bedroom door had them both nearly jumping out of their skins and falling off the chaise. They froze, staring at the door in alarm.
A few tense moments later, there was another knock. "Charlotte?"
If the knock had startled them, then nothing surprised them more than knowing the identity of the person who was at the door.
"Diana?" Charlotte mouthed soundlessly in disbelief.
The third knock was louder, as was Diana's voice. "Charlotte?"
They both scrambled up from the chaise, Charlotte taking care to make extra noise so as to cover the sound of Sidney's movements. She grabbed her robe from the floor and snatched up his shirt at the same time, pushing it into his hands. Pulling her gaping nightgown together, she shrugged into her robe and belted it tightly around her once more as she made for the door, Sidney following her on silent feet to hide behind it.
She hoped the sound of her movements would hold Diana off from knocking again, for another knock would be sure to wake up the household at this time.
Reaching the door, she checked to see that Sidney would be well concealed behind it — he had not put on his shirt and she frowned at him — before she finally, cautiously opened the door a fraction.
"Diana? Is everything alright?" she asked, widening the gap between the door and the door frame a little more.
"I came to ask you the same thing." Diana's face was openly concerned in the light of the small candle she carried in its holder. "Are you well?"
"Yes, of course." Bewildered, Charlotte tugged her robe tighter around her.
"I thought you might be ill." Diana paused, then seeing Charlotte's confusion, she added in explanation, "I thought I heard... noises."
"Noises?" Charlotte repeated, increasingly baffled.
"I heard you groaning and moaning, as if you were in pain." Diana explained, peering at the young woman standing half hidden by the door.
Her room was right next to Charlotte's and, truth be told, she had never before heard anyone who was unwell make such noises. They had been faint, but she had definitely heard Charlotte moaning and once thought she even heard her cry out. And why else would she do so unless she was feeling ill? Diana had already sifted through her extensive knowledge of diseases, illnesses, maladies, and ailments, and a stomach ache seemed the most likely possibility.
Charlotte's face flooded with colour as realisation dawned.
"If you can't sleep or if you have a stomach ache, perhaps you might want some chamomile tea?" Diana suggested. "I could ask one of the maids to get it for you–"
"I don't think that's necessary, Diana," Charlotte interrupted hastily, stalling the idea before her soon-to-be sister-in-law woke up the entire household. Her face was still aflame at the thought that she had been loud enough for Diana to hear her all the way in the next room. "I'm just… having some trouble falling asleep, considering the day we have had."
Diana's expression instantly turned to one of concern and sympathy. "Oh, it was a most trying day, was it not? My poor nerves are in tatters just thinking about it! I cannot even imagine how you must feel! And now we both have insomnia! Oh dear!"
She looked so alarmed at the thought that she might have contracted a malady she had not yet suffered from that Charlotte hastily patted her hand. "I'm sure we will be alright soon. We just need to get some sleep." A thought occurred to her. "But why are you awake at this time of the night, Diana?"
"Oh I have been most worried about Arthur, gallivanting around everywhere! I reminded him his constitution is altogether too delicate for such rigorous physical activity, but he is so determined to be useful to Sidney that he insisted on haring back to Sanditon with Mr. Abbott!"
Diana hesitated, demonstrating an awareness and sensitivity she rarely showed. "I have been worried about Tom too," she admitted, far less dramatically.
She looked as if she wished to continue on that subject and say something more but decided against it, for which Charlotte was glad.
"Thank goodness Sidney has you. I worry about him too, but it is a relief to know you are here to take care of him."
Charlotte had to studiously keep her eyes from flicking behind the door where Sidney stood, hidden from his sister's view. She could see him in the periphery of her vision and… was he laughing!?
Behind the door, Sidney was trying very hard not to choke on his laughter. He had almost snorted loudly when his sister said she heard "noises" and "moaning and groaning" coming from Charlotte's room. His arms were folded across his broad chest, one hand covering his mouth while the other still held his balled up shirt, his shoulders shaking silently as he tried to control his mirth.
"Are you sure you do not need anything?" Diana persisted, pulling Charlotte's gaze back from where it had begun drifting to her fiancé.
The older woman looked almost wistful, which made Charlotte instantly feel bad. Diana seemed to be in the mood to have a chat seeing as they were both awake, which Charlotte might have heartily welcomed at any other time. She had not spent much time with the only Parker sister and looked forward to bonding with her, despite her preoccupation with her (and Arthur's) ailments, usually to the exclusion of everything else.
But it was impossible tonight when Charlotte's future husband had scandalously ended up in her room and — even more scandalously — was currently unabashedly half-clothed. Diana would have an attack of the vapours if she found him here, that too in such a state. So, with a regretful sigh and some hopefully convincing acting, Charlotte managed to make Diana believe she might be feeling sleepy after all and would like to get some rest before embarking on a full day's travel the next morning.
She did not breathe easy until Diana left and she heard the neighbouring bedroom's door shut behind her, before closing the door to her own room. Then she turned to face her fiancé, who let out a muffled explosion of laughter and doubled over, giving in to his amusement.
Charlotte tried to keep her expression stern, her lips pressed together as exasperation and amusement warred within her. But she knew she was failing badly, for she could not quite stifle the smile that tugged at her lips.
Sidney finally managed to straighten, clutching his ribs as he grinned unrepentantly. With his hair rakishly mussed, he looked almost like a pirate or some other kind of disreputable lover from a romance novel who had sneaked into the heroine's room to ravish her.
She had never seen him look so light-hearted, smile so joyously, his eyes and his face alight. Only one previous instance flashed to her mind: when they danced together at Mrs. Maudsley's ball. In those carefree moments when they had whirled and twirled and swayed, when they had just begun to open their hearts to each other, he had smiled at her just as happily.
"You know," Charlotte began, trying to distract herself from the gloriously shirtless vision before her and instead focus on what had just occurred — they had almost got caught! "I love the Parkers, I really do. But how does your family always manage to interrupt us when we're alone? Have they been taking lessons from Tom?"
She spoke in a whisper, aware now Diana was awake and able to hear, at least to some extent, their activities from her room next door.
That set off another bout of laughter in Sidney. "I have absolutely no idea," he said as his wheezing finally eased. "Although, to be fair, Arthur and the kids haven't interrupted us. Yet. And Diana didn't know she was interrupting."
"The only reason Arthur hasn't interrupted us is because he hasn't been here to do so," Charlotte muttered, but she was smiling now and he could tell she was amused.
Sidney eyed Charlotte, who still looked gloriously rumpled and flushed from their activities. It was a good thing Diana, unaware as she was about carnal activities, had not deduced what Charlotte (and he) had been up to.
He sighed. At least Diana's interruption had one good outcome — nearly getting caught half-undressed by one's sister in the room of one's betrothed was enough to sufficiently cool one's ardour.
He unrolled the crumpled shirt in his hand and pulled it back on over his head.
"Are you going?" Charlotte asked, half regretting that he was covering himself up again.
He hesitated. "I should." He did not want to.
"Stay," she said simply.
He regarded her carefully, gauging her words, making sure she meant what she said.
She gave him a coquettish grin. "It's alright, Mr. Parker. Your virtue is safe with me."
He grinned back. "Well then."
"Well then."
He took her hand and led her back to the chaise, where he sat down and pulled her down next to him. She curled up beside him and he put his arms around her and pulled her close, tucking her into his side. She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder and they sat quietly for a few minutes, savouring their closeness.
Charlotte broke the silence. "What did Lord Melrose say to you at the meeting? Why did he agree to invest such a large sum?" She sat up and turned slightly while still within the circle of his arms so that she could look at him. "Tell me everything."
Sidney thought back on his evening, remembering how boneless with relief he'd been when Melrose had said he would make up whatever shortfall there was after Lord and Lady Grasmere pledged their investment, as he had been sure they would.
"Why?" he had asked hoarsely, warily. For as thankful as he was, such a huge sum could only come with harsh conditions, demands that he would be forced to comply and fulfil in return.
But the monstrously rich earl had done nothing of the sort.
"Because I know what it's like to be at the mercy of family, to be taken for granted." Rupert Melrose's face had darkened, for a moment, his eyes remembering some deeply painful history before his implacable mask had fallen back into place once again. "And because I know you were one of the few who selflessly helped out my cousin when he was in the most dire straits a few years ago. My father and brother, who were both alive at the time, refused to lend him even a penny. I have always regretted that I could do nothing for him back then."
Sidney had watched as Babington and Melrose had exchanged understanding looks; clearly, Babington held no resentment against his cousin for long-ago matters that had been out of his control.
"And because it is a sound investment in your hands. By my investigations, you are a sensible and progressive businessman, Parker. It is your own financial reputation I considered pertinent, not your brother's, nor the fact that you are Babington's friend. Besides, not many men would let their wives — future wife in your case — handle a project, no matter how competent they might be."
Sidney had been unable to prevent the smile that curved his lips or the softness that came into his eyes at the thought of working with his smart, intelligent fiancée.
"And," Melrose had continued, "because I want someplace where my wife will be accepted regardless of her background and not be made to feel like an outsider."
"Why would Lady Melrose be made to feel like an outsider?" Charlotte asked when Sidney finished describing his meeting.
"Because she is not from Britain," Sidney replied. "She is the niece of the Maharaja of one of the smaller Indian princely states. Melrose met and married her while he was in India. His family was extremely displeased about it."
"But surely that is a great honour?" Charlotte argued, perplexed. "To have royal connections? What objections could they have?"
"It is not her royal connections they object to," he explained with a sigh. "The Melroses are one of the oldest and most traditional families in Scotland. From the little Lord Melrose revealed, his family perceived his marrying an Indian woman beneath them, even if she is minor royalty. They had no qualms about the money she brought, for she was very well dowered. But they did not care to have their bloodline mix with someone of her skin colour. And they made no secret of being against the match and of their opinion on her unsuitability."
By the end of his explanation, Charlotte was disgusted and fuming. "Just like Georgiana, you mean!" she exclaimed angrily. "Lady Denham had no compunctions pushing her slimy nephew onto Georgiana for her hundred thousand pounds even as she ridiculed her background and her homeland!"
Sidney nodded, embarrassed and ashamed as he remembered how little he had done to come to his ward's defence at Lady Denham's pineapple luncheon. He had much to make amends for when it came to Georgiana and do right by her. Hopefully, with Charlotte's guidance, he would someday be able to redeem himself in his ward's eyes.
For now, he brought his mind back to the current topic of their conversation. "Lady Melrose also had a bad experience of Parisian society. Incidentally, it was thanks to Mrs. Campion and her sycophants, who cruelly made sport of her at a dinner party. So, Lady Melrose now believes everyone in European society is prejudiced like Lord Melrose's family and Mrs. Campion. She refuses to be part of the beau monde and hates it here in Britain. She has secluded herself at his Richmond estate. Unfortunately, Melrose's duties to his earldom mean they cannot return to India, or he would have taken her back in a heartbeat. He is worried because she is terribly lonely and without any friends, save for the small entourage of people that accompanied her from India. People his family tried to have sent back, because they did not approve."
"Of course they must come to Sanditon!" Charlotte's indignation and protective instincts were immediately provoked at the thought of such injustice. A thought struck her then. "So he already has a favourable impression of the place? Without even visiting it?"
Sidney nodded. "It would seem so. Of course, Babington and I did praise it to the skies. But he was most interested to know that Lady Susan herself is the town's patroness, so to speak. I suspect learning about Georgiana and you, of course, confirmed his good opinion."
"Me?"
"Lord Melrose thinks I'm a canny enough businessman to put only the most capable person in charge of the project. He was most impressed to learn that you had organised the entire regatta and its events practically by yourself. He is looking forward to meeting you."
Charlotte digested this information, a little stunned and not a little nervous. First Lady Grasmere and now Lord Melrose had expressed an interest in the town because of her. She was beginning to wonder if they saw her as some sort of bizarre form of entertainment or joke. Not to mention, the confidence everyone else seemed to have in her was quite daunting. She had never undertaken any such task, never handled anything close to such a huge responsibility. Was she capable, competent enough?
Sidney noticed her worried expression and nudged her, bringing her out of her thoughts. "I have complete faith in you. And remember, you are not doing this alone. I will be by your side every step of the way, helping you, guiding you, and learning from you too."
This knowledge calmed her, reminded her that Sidney would have never recommended her for the task if he had any doubts about her abilities. Not to mention Susan, Lord Babington and Mary too had been happy for her to take on this role; none of them had objected to Sidney's proposition. Besides, how many women would have such an opportunity to exhibit their talents, to learn, to make a difference? She took a deep breath, which helped her nervousness and trepidation to ease.
"I never thanked you for giving me this chance," she told him. "I did wonder, once we were married, how I would be spending my days. I am used to having responsibilities, to being useful. I don't think I could have sat idle. But I was afraid you would only expect me to plan parties and entertain your friends. I never imagined you would entrust me with the project."
"I would have to be utterly bird-witted to let your talents go waste planning parties or entertaining Babbers and Crowe. Which I am not. And those two reprobates do not deserve your efforts." He grinned, then his expression became a bit more serious. "Besides, who better than you to take over the project? There's no one else I trust more than you with my heart, my life. Why wouldn't I do the same with the welfare of my family, the town?"
He took her hand in his and squeezed it and Charlotte's heart swelled with love at his words. She blushed and could not help the fond smile that curved her lips. "Thank you for having faith in me."
"Thank you for trusting me."
He brushed a feather-soft kiss across her lips and rested his brow on hers as they smiled shyly at each other. They stayed that way for a couple of moments.
"How will we start with the rebuilding?" Charlotte asked. "What must we do first?"
"Pay the workers the full wages they are owed," said Sidney promptly. "Unless we do that, and promise them payments in a timely manner, we cannot expect them to work for us. Then, the next step will have to be clearing out the debris of Waterloo Terrace. We cannot proceed with the rebuilding until the site is ready once again. In the meantime, we can look into procuring the required building materials, both for the exteriors and the interiors of the apartments."
Charlotte nodded in agreement. "We will have to keep extensive and thorough records of every penny we spend. The workers' wages, the amount spent on materials, on equipment, any specialists we hire."
"Don't forget to account in your salary," Sidney added.
"My salary?" Charlotte repeated, stunned. "I am to be paid?"
"Of course! You will be doing the work, won't you?"
Charlotte stared at him, shocked. She had never expected that she would be earning from her role as the manager of the Sanditon development project. "But– but– I would be your wife! How can I accept payment for a responsibility we are honour-bound to uphold?"
"Were neither of us capable of carrying out this task ourselves, we would have hired a man to do it, and we would have paid him, would we not? So why should we not pay you?"
When she stayed quiet, he continued, since the subject had been raised, and decided to tell her about some of the arrangements he intended to make for after they were married. "It will be your money to do with as you please, Charlotte. It will not come to me; I will have no claim on it. It will also be apart from the marriage settlement, and apart from the provisions I will make at the bank for you to have access to my accounts anytime you wish."
"Sidney!" Charlotte exclaimed, "What am I to do with so much money? I do not need it!"
"Your salary will not be an extravagant amount," Sidney assured her. "Certainly not as much as you deserve to earn. Any profits that we make must first go towards returning our financiers' investments. But this is your job and you will be paid an amount commensurate with your abilities and the scope of your responsibilities. And you shall use it as you see fit. Spend it on anything that takes your fancy. Or you might wish to invest it."
Charlotte was deeply touched. It was not common for a woman to own and manage her own money outright. Her wages wouldn't just be rightful payment for the work she did, but also her own savings in case of any untoward emergency. She knew she could rest assured that she would never find herself in a position like Mrs. Campion, disinherited by her husband and left without a single penny. But it was incredibly liberating to know she would have a modicum of financial independence.
Eliza Campion's circumstances came to her mind again and she frowned.
"What is it?" Sidney asked, concerned, noticing the furrow between her brows, the faraway look in her eyes.
Charlotte shook herself out of her thoughts. "I was thinking of Mrs. Campion."
At his clear surprise, she elaborated, "I was thinking about how her husband disinherited her. I don't condone her outlook about money, nor her behaviour — threatening my family, trying to force you into marrying her, the potential threat she poses to Georgiana, embezzlement…" She grimaced. "But I can't help but feel sorry for her."
"Sorry for her?" he repeated, stumped.
"Yes. Her husband left her high and dry, Sidney. Granted, she may have truly done something to anger him. But what if she was innocent? And her husband disinherited her because he was displeased with her over some trifle? The fact remains that a wife is always at the mercy of her husband's whims."
Sidney stayed silent for a moment, taking in her words, trying to understand them. "I never thought of it that way." He paused. "Do you really think she's innocent?"
"I do not know," Charlotte replied honestly. "But were you not the one who berated me for making assumptions?"
The tips of his ears reddened faintly. She was right; they could not just assume. When he viewed it from Charlotte's perspective, he sympathized with Mrs. Campion too. But not as much as she did. "But I cannot forgive the way she has behaved towards you. Regardless of her circumstances, the way she belittled you at the regatta and the things she said to you in Bedford Park are inexcusable. And I should have realised it right away."
He looked wretched at the memory of that day, and Charlotte brushed her thumb over the back of his hand; she did not want him to beat himself up about a day that had been emotionally fraught for both of them.
"I'm not excusing her behaviour. I only think it extremely unfair that a wife's fate is dictated by her husband's judgement of her behaviour. If he becomes angry or displeased with her, or if he is an inconsiderate man, he can treat her as he pleases, uncaring of her wants and needs. He might beat her, lock her away or even cast her out. Who would she turn to, then? How would she fend for herself? She might even be separated from her own children!"
There was a pause after her impassioned argument. Sidney pondered her words; she had given him much to think about, things he had never considered before. And there was the knowledge that men could do worse, much worse than Charlotte could imagine, to the women over whom they held some power.
But one thing worried him. "You don't think I would treat you the way Mr. Campion treated Mrs. Campion, do you?"
His posture was tense. He looked genuinely worried that she might think badly of him, genuinely distressed that she thought he viewed her as some sort of… possession or chattel, and not his life partner.
Her eyes softened. "No, of course not. If you were anything like that, you would not have worked so hard to find a way to pay off Tom's debt and provide for Mary and the children. When you care so deeply for your brother's family, how could I think you would do otherwise for your own wife?"
Sidney exhaled, relieved, and relaxed back into the chaise again. "Good. I'm happy you don't think badly of me."
He laced his fingers with hers and raised their joined hands to press a kiss to the back of her hand. "I promise you, Charlotte, no matter the severity of any argument between us — and arguments there will be, because I would never want you to stay silent about your opinions — you will never have cause to worry that I would ill-treat you in any manner whatsoever."
"You are a good man and I know I have no cause to worry," she said. "But you must know me well enough by now to be aware that I would not take any such treatment quietly."
"I know." He said simply, thanking whatever deity was above that, of all men, she had chosen him for her husband because he would cherish and worship her for the rest of their lives.
She smiled back mistily at him and they sat quietly for a few moments, thinking about what they had just discussed. But the conversation had taken a sombre turn and he sought to dispel the solemn silence.
"Perhaps we could offer Mrs. Campion some employment too, seeing as she is in dire need of money."
Charlotte turned to stare at Sidney, astonished.
He looked at her, his expression and tone utterly serious. "Would you like having an assistant to help you?"
She gaped at him, then caught the twitch of his lips. He held her gaze for a moment but could keep up the pretence no longer. His eyes twinkled as his mouth widened into a playful grin, giving him away.
"Oh, you beast!" Charlotte drilled the finger of her free hand into his side, causing him to laugh out loud and wriggle away. "That was a terrible attempt at a jest, Sidney!"
She swatted his arm for good measure but she was laughing too. She quickly controlled herself, afraid they were being too loud again, and reached up and covered his mouth with her hand, trying to quieten him. She did not want Diana to make a reappearance — Charlotte wouldn't even be able to lie to her, because surely Dana would feel laughing by oneself in the dead of the night was not the symptom of any illness save insanity.
Sidney brought his laughter under control but could not help himself and kissed her palm while it was still on his mouth.
Charlotte shot him a coy but reproachful glance as she settled back into his side, his arm coming around her once again. "I do not think sorting paperwork would be Mrs. Campion's preferred mode of employment even if she ever did deign to take up a profession."
"No, it would not. Nor would she be interested in living in Sanditon."
"Why would she live in Sanditon?" Charlotte asked curiously. "Then she grasped the true implication, the real meaning of his words. "Why would we live in Sanditon?"
"If we are to manage the project, it makes sense for us to be where the project is, does it not?"
"But– but– I thought… I thought we would live in London?"
"You want to live in London?" he asked, taken aback.
"Well, no… not particularly. But I assumed we would live here as your work is here, you have a life here. Unless you expect us to live separately, with you here and me in Sanditon?" She asked anxiously, her eyes wide with worry.
"Of course not!" he said vehemently, flatly. "You and I are never going to be separated for even a single day, if I can help it!" Their fingers were still laced together and he tightened his grip around hers. "Mr. Cartwright, my man of business, oversees the daily running at the office and I can handle my affairs from Sanditon. I will have to make trips to London, of course, but I believe it would work best if we lived in Sanditon. We both have to be on hand to manage the development. Unless you'd rather live elsewhere? Not in Sanditon or London, but in Willingden? To be close to your family?"
Her fears easing, she smiled, shaking her head. "I would love to visit my family as often as we can, but I do not think Willingden will suit either of us. I am content to live in Sanditon and accompany you to London whenever you have to visit."
"Good. My thoughts exactly."
His words immediately brought to mind their first kiss on the clifftops, and they exchanged a heated glance before looking away, aware that the desire from their previous… activities was still lingering.
Charlotte cleared her throat and brought them back to their conversation; they were after all discussing a rather important issue pertaining to their future. "Would we live at Trafalgar House, then?" she asked.
She prayed they wouldn't. After the extent to which the two brothers' relationship had deteriorated, it would be extremely awkward if they had to share the house with Tom, especially without Mary and the children to act as a buffer. Or perhaps it would be even more uncomfortable to live in the same house as Mary and Tom considering the current state of their marriage.
Mary had informed Sidney of her decision to take the children and visit Willingden for a few weeks. He had been shocked at first but had quickly concluded that he was not surprised. His sister-in-law and Tom were currently on shaky ground. And although he did not doubt Mary's love for Tom, after putting up with his older brother's inanities for so long, he fully understood her need to get away from him after his recent actions and behaviour.
In fact, if she hadn't said she was going to Willingden, Sidney might have easily concluded that his sister-in-law was thinking of leaving Tom for good. This was another idea for which he owed Charlotte his gratitude; after all, it had been her suggestion for Mary to go to Willingden. Sidney did not much care about gossip but he was canny enough to know that any untoward talk, especially, about any of the Parkers, might harm the family as well as the seaside town just when they were in dire need of visitors and their money.
He brought himself back to the present time, to Charlotte's question.
"No, I was not thinking of us living in Trafalgar House." He suddenly felt nervous. "I was going to surprise you at first. But I realised it was an important decision that concerned your future — our future together. And I promised you I would never take a decision about our future without discussing it with you first."
He paused, apprehensive, unsure whether or not she would share his dream. "Now that we are not at risk of having to sell it for money, would you like to live at the old Parker House? It is a little way away from Sanditon, but it would not be difficult to drive or even walk into town every day. It is a sizeable estate and is located on good land, sheltered from rough winds yet close to the sea and the river–"
If Charlotte had any doubts about her feelings for Sidney (she didn't), this would have swept them all away; only someone foolishly, hopelessly in love with him would find his nervous babbling adorable.
She took pity on him, for he was still chattering away, much as he had done on their clifftop walk before their first kiss. "Yes! I would love to live there with you, Sidney!"
He stopped talking and beamed at her.
She remembered the pretty, snug-looking house she had seen on the way to Sanditon, just shortly before arriving in the town proper. It lay nestled in a small, sloping valley that overlooked the river a little distance before it met the sea, just behind the cliffs that lined the coast. She had been struck by its wonderful garden and orchards, the lovely meadows surrounding it and the wooded slope behind that sheltered it from the gales blowing in from the Channel. It reminded her in many ways of her own home in Willingden.
"It is not a very big house," Sidney started again, "Only moderately-sized. Nothing like Trafalgar House–"
"Trafalgar House is far too large and ostentatious for my tastes," she interrupted. "I have only seen Parker House in the distance, but I have admired it. And Mary described it as a comfortable house with an excellent garden for children to run about in."
"That it is." He smiled as memories of his days there as a boy came back to him. "It was a wonderful house to grow up in. I remember escaping my tutor and running away to swim and fish in the river that flows at the bottom of the garden."
Charlotte smiled at the content, happy look on Sidney's face. She was delighted to have a memory of when he was a boy.
"So… uh…" Sidney cleared his throat nervously again. "You would like to have children?"
"Yes," she nodded shyly. "And you?"
"Yes, very much, very much indeed," he responded eagerly, then blushed a little when he realised she might think he was only interested in the begetting portion of producing children. By now, it was safe to say Charlotte was not entirely unaware of the nature of marital relations. "Uh… how many would you want?"
"Not as many as my parents have!" she laughed. "I love all my brothers and sisters, but a dozen children are excessive!"
It made Sidney laugh too.
"How many would you want?" she asked hesitantly.
"As many as you would give me," he said softly.
For the past decade, as he had resigned himself to remaining alone, believing himself unsuited to matrimony, he had also resigned himself to the idea that he would never have children of his own. His nephews and nieces had filled that gap in his life and he loved them dearly. But he could not deny that the thought of having his own children with Charlotte filled his heart with an indescribable, incandescent joy.
"What a lucky day for me it was when Tom decided to go to Willingden and crashed his carriage there, and you came to rescue him."
His fervent tone and the deep timbre of his voice made Charlotte feel warm all over.
"Truly," she agreed, "Had it not been for him and his search for a physician for Sanditon, we might have never met."
The idea that she and Sidney might not have met was insupportable.
"I cannot believe I owe my magnificent fortune to his folly," Sidney mused. "Never, ever tell him that!" he hastily added, "We cannot afford to let him loose and drive up more debt for us!"
Charlotte giggled, then sobered. "What will happen to Tom now?"
"For now, he stays in London. We cannot have him creating any trouble at Trafalgar House while Arthur and Mr. Abbott go through the documents in his study." Sidney grimaced. "As a matter of fact, with Mary and the children in Willingden for some weeks, I don't like the idea of him rattling around in Trafalgar House all by himself."
"We shall cross that bridge when we come to it." Charlotte soothed him. "And he will not be alone in London now, when we shall be away. It was good of Diana to volunteer to stay back with him."
Sidney tried not to let his worry show on his face. If truth be told, he did not want to burden Diana with Tom, with both of them being such excitable personalities. "I hope it is the right decision to leave him with only her to see to him."
"I think you underestimate your sister. She is a most determined woman, is she not? It is as she said, she wants to help and support the family in whichever way she can, Sidney. Just as Arthur does. So, you must let her. Besides, she has Mr. Morgan to assist her should she need it."
Sidney sighed and conceded she had a point.
"It was good of Arthur to volunteer to help too," Charlotte continued. "He and Mr. Abbott seem to have quickly struck up quite a firm friendship." She felt it was good for Arthur to associate with someone other than his sister. It would be good for Diana, too, to have something else to occupy her mind and devote her energies to instead of her and Arthur's ailments.
Sidney glanced down at her. He was not surprised she had noticed the affinity that had rapidly developed between the two men, and surprised-but-not-surprised that she likely did not understand its implications. In some aspects, she really was quite naïve and sheltered. He wondered how she would react if she learnt what Sidney truly suspected about his brother's… inclinations
Unaware of her fiancé's musings, Charlotte's mind had already wandered on to her next thought. "I am glad Susan's advisors have been able to help us out. I admire them very much, especially Miss Abbott."
"She is certainly very competent, despite her intrusive questions," Sidney agreed.
"And yet you did not reprimand her for being forthright and free with her opinions, as you did me," Charlotte teased him.
"She spoke the truth. And besides, I have learnt my lesson! The last time I met a woman who was bold and forthright and free with her opinions, I ended up falling in love with her, did I not?"
Charlotte narrowed her eyes in mock irritation. "Are you implying you were in danger of falling in love with her too, then?"
"Of course not. There is no other for me, only you. Besides, she's a tad too abrasive for my tastes."
"You were not overly impressed with me at first, either."
Sidney said nothing, a faint tinge of red appearing on his cheeks, and Charlotte eyed him curiously.
"Surely you were not enamoured with me the moment you saw me?"
"Enamoured, no. But I was attracted and… intrigued."
He left it at that but she continued to look at him, clearly not understanding, and he internally sighed. How to explain? It was not love at first sight — he did not believe in the concept. He had not fallen in love with Charlotte the moment he laid eyes on her because he had not known her well enough to feel any romantic emotion about her, no matter how pretty he found her. And yet…
"It was not love at first sight," he clarified. "But I felt a kind of… recognition. A bone deep knowledge that somehow, you would be a very important person in my life, my future. I did not know how. But whatever I felt was powerful enough to considerably disturb me. Mary has tried to introduce me to eligible young women before and–" He cleared his throat, looking deeply uncomfortable. "–uh… young ladies at London parties evinced a certain degree of uh… interest in me that was unwelcome. I did not want Mary to try and do the same to me with you, nor did I want you to get any ideas and encourage Mary to matchmake between us."
Charlotte was amused at how awkward it made him to admit that he was an object of female attention. Although she felt her amusement was justified, given her irritation at his assumptions.
"So you didn't truly think I was the new maid?" she asked, enjoying watching him squirm.
Sidney's ears reddened. "No, of course not. That was just something I ended up blurting out at the spur of the moment. I did not want you to think I was… attracted and curious about you."
"Well it may surprise you to know, Mr. Parker, that I too was intrigued with you, even before I met you, as a matter of fact. It's true," she emphasized when Sidney looked surprised. "Tom would not cease speaking of "My brother Sidney", who was well-connected and part of fashionable London and a "man of affairs and a man of business" who was "here, there and everywhere"."
She modulated her voice to perfectly imitate Tom's perpetually buoyant tones, causing Sidney to laugh.
"And that did not put you off?" he asked.
"No, because he mentioned you had travelled abroad and I had so many questions to ask you! Someone who had travelled the world whereas I had never even been more than five miles from home! But I had a hard time connecting the man Tom spoke of with the portrait in the hallway, for that is not a very faithful likeness at all. The man in the painting looks more like the pompous London dandy I mistakenly thought you were when I met you."
"Tom had it painted when I was away in Antigua," Sidney explained, grimacing. "The artist used a much older portrait of our entire family, which had been painted not long before my parents' deaths, as a reference for my face. I was barely seventeen years old there. The painter had to use his imagination to conjure up what I might look like when I was older. And he had to paint it the way Tom wanted — like I was some kind of conquering admiral." He rolled his eyes.
"And we all know what a terrible admiral you make, Mr. Parker," Charlotte teased.
"Precisely! Which is why I am determined that it is you who shall be in charge of our ship, Admiral Heywood." He leaned his forehead to hers.
Once again, her heart swelled with love at his words. "Ah, but I shall have to be Admiral Parker to do so," she whispered, brushing her lips against his.
"And I cannot wait for the day that you finally are." He caught her lips in a kiss the next time she grazed them against his, but the embrace became heated and they both pulled back.
"So, does this family portrait still exist?" Charlotte asked, partly to distract herself but also because she was curious. "I should love to see it. I am surprised Tom did not have it put up at Trafalgar House."
"It is at Parker House, I think. I remember Mary writing to me while I was still in Antigua, informing me they were moving to Trafalgar House and that the portrait had been stored away in the attics with the others. I do not know why Tom did not want to take it with him."
"Others?"
"Yes, there is one more family portrait, an even older one. It was painted a few months after Arthur's birth. I must have been around six years old then." Sidney frowned, trying to remember. "And there is a portrait of my parents as well as one of just my mother."
"Perhaps, when we live there, we could put them up once more?" Charlotte suggested, eager to know what Sidney looked like as a little boy. "Perhaps have a gallery of sorts?"
"You can decorate the place as you like," he replied, delighted that she had not only readily agreed to living at the Parkers' ancestral house, but that she was already planning how to truly make it their home. "When I go to Sanditon, I will speak to the Hilliers — they are the caretakers who live in a small cottage on the property — to order a thorough cleaning of the house. It has not been lived in since Tom and Mary moved out nearly four years ago, soon after Henry was born."
Charlotte was surprised to learn that Mrs. Hillier was the sister of Mrs. Mullins, the Bedford Place housekeeper. She would be their housekeeper at Parker House while her husband would be their butler and general factotum. They would also have to hire more servants to complete their household staff.
"By the by, did you know that the lands belonging to Sanditon House are so extensive that they share a boundary with ours?"
Charlotte let out a startled laugh. "Do you mean to say Lady Denham will be our neighbour?"
"Yes, our estate lies on the other side of her deer park."
"Oh!" Charlotte suddenly remembered what she had witnessed in the deer park on her first visit to Sanditon House. The deeply embarrassing memory of stumbling upon what she was sure was a tryst between Clara Brereton and Sir Edward Denham had her cheeks flaring up in colour.
Sidney noticed her discomfort, and raised his brow.
She bit her lip. "When Mary and I were on our way to meet Lady Denham — just after I first met you up on the cliffs, in fact — Mary sent me to look over the ridge in the park to see if I could spot any deer. Only, instead of deer, I spotted Sir Edward and Clara…"
He waited for her to continue, curious, for she seemed embarrassed and unsure of herself.
"I'm not sure what exactly they were doing, but they were sitting very close to each other and it looked… quite improper. Unfortunately, when I tried to back away, I stepped on a twig and they heard me. They seemed very alarmed when they spotted me. In fact, they both spoke to me about it at the ball the next evening, and each one painted a completely contrary picture of the incident to the other's. Sir Edward maintained that Clara was distressed and he had been endeavouring to comfort her. But Clara said he was forcing his attentions on her, and so she had to do something distasteful to avoid doing something even worse with him."
Her grimace of distaste was enough to give him an idea of what she must have witnessed and he pulled a face too.
"I'm inclined to believe Clara's version of events," she added.
"So am I, in this instance. Edward is a scoundrel if there ever was one."
"In this instance?"
He hesitated before responding; Charlotte had just made clear her views on how women were always the mercy of men and their decisions. It was an eye-opening viewpoint and something he realised he concurred with to a large extent. But from whatever he had seen of Miss Brereton whenever he visited Sanditon in the past couple of years, her innocence and artlessness seemed to be a façade. To Sidney, she had always come across as the complete opposite — there was something all too knowing and cunning about her.
"It appears Clara Brereton and Edward have been conspiring together for some time," he told her. "Babbers said the reason Lady D disinherited Edward and banished him and Miss Brereton was because they burnt her will. If she died intestate, her fortune and estate would revert to the holder of the Denham title, which would be Edward. He in turn had made a deal with Ms. Brereton to split the money between the two of them."
Charlotte's mouth fell open, appalled. "So, Clara might not be as innocent as she portrayed herself to be?"
He shrugged. "It would appear so."
She took a moment to absorb this new information and what it meant.
"No wonder Lady Denham was so unyielding and unsympathetic towards the Parkers when we asked her for time to return the money!" She remarked as it dawned on her. "She was always critical of Tom and lost all her trust in him, particularly as he lost her entire investment just after Sir Edward and Clara tried to get their hands on her fortune for themselves."
"Her anger at Tom's foolishness and carelessness is certainly not misplaced," Sidney agreed, "But she did not even spare a thought for Mary and the children, Charlotte."
"Neither did Tom," Charlotte pointed out, uncharacteristically bluntly. "And the only reason he fawned over with Lady Denham was because he needed her money. He did not seem to be interested in her usefulness beyond that."
Sidney did not have an argument to counter her very valid point.
They lapsed into silence, each of them drifting into their own thoughts.
Charlotte's mind wandered to Clara, especially in light of the new information Sidney had shared. She was both appalled at Clara's actions yet worried about how she must be faring. Clara had disappeared from Sanditon and Charlotte had not seen her for many days, not since she had visited Sanditon House after learning that Lady Denham was desperately ill, almost at death's door. Too much had happened since then, and Clara's whereabouts had been the last thing on Charlotte's mind.
She felt a little guilty about it, because Clara had mostly been friendly towards her. But she had also found her quite confusing; she had sensed Clara was worldly in a way she could not imagine. Nor could she understand how someone could be so desperate for money that they were willing to burn legal documents and deny Lady Denham's wishes. Lady Denham had given her a home, after all.
Then again, she reminded herself, Clara came from a very poor family. Poor as church mice, Lady Denham had said, and Clara had described herself as "the very poorest of poor relations". Charlotte's family may not be wealthy like Lady Denham or even Sidney, but they and everyone in Willingden were quite prosperous. Charlotte knew she had no concept of what poverty was like and so might not understand Clara's motives.
And it could not have been easy living with the cantankerous and miserly Lady Denham, who lost no opportunity to remind her young relatives that they could not put a foot wrong as per exacting standards if they wanted to inherit her fortune.
Meanwhile, Sidney's thoughts had turned into idle musings about Charlotte's hands.
Her hands, with their slender and elegant fingers, looked so delicate, particularly when held against his larger, heavier palm with his calloused fingers. But he knew their strength, knew her strength, how capable she was. How she had swiftly tied a tourniquet around old Stringer's leg, saving his limb and his life. Tirelessly sorted through Tom's mountain of paperwork, competently wielded a cricket bat, placed her hands in his when they danced.
He remembered the first feel of her fingers in his at the opening ball of the season in Sanditon. The thrill he'd felt holding her hand, holding her in his arms, which he'd tried so hard to deny, to instead appear disinterested.
Then came the dance in London, and how beautiful she had looked! How overwhelmed he had been to dance with her. He truly had wanted no other woman that night. His Charlotte, so beautiful, with a razor sharp mind and a spine of steel — and to think she thought he wanted to dance with other ladies, that he was dancing with her out of politeness or obligation!
He remembered how relieved he had been to find her in the antechamber with Lady Susan, who he had stupidly not recognised at the time, although there was little else on his mind than Charlotte's whereabouts. He had been so afraid that she had decided to leave; she had already confessed to feeling out of place in the typically ostentatious beau monde setting so foreign to her. She had left later, of course, without his knowledge, which had driven him mad with worry until he learnt that Lady Susan had seen her home. But he refused to think of that portion of the evening. Instead he thought back to when he had walked into the antechamber and discovered her talking to Lady Susan, how anxious and… panicked she had looked, particularly when Lady Susan had said it had been him they were discussing…
"Charlotte?"
"Hmm?"
"At the ball in London, when I found you in that room with Lady Susan, why did she compare me to the measles?
Charlotte let out a startled giggle. She pushed away from his chest and sat up, a shy yet amused smile lighting up her face.
"How much of our conversation did you hear?"
"I heard your voice and another woman's in the corridor and although I recognised yours, I was too far away to understand what you were saying. Your voices were muffled. The only thing I heard properly when I neared the door was Lady Susan saying something was "like the measles". But when I entered, she said you had just been talking about me. It is not flattering to be compared to the measles, Charlotte," he finished plaintively.
Charlotte tried not to laugh; Sidney sounded like a complaining schoolboy.
"Susan had just told me that you cannot determine who you fall in love with. She called love an affliction, like the measles."
Sidney frowned in confusion. "But she said you were talking about me?"
"I shared how confused I was about my feelings for you," Charlotte explained. "Do you remember how I said you inspired an anger in me I did not know I possessed?
Sidney nodded.
"That's what I said to Susan, and she said it sounded as if I was in love with you. I told her she could not be further from the truth, that if I were to ever fall in love, it would not be with someone like you."
"You did not want to fall in love with me?"
"No more than you wanted to with me."
"And yet, here we are." He hugged her to him, against his warmth. "I would not have it any other way."
"Neither would I."
Sidney straightened his legs out in front of him and slouched down a little so that he could lean his head against Charlotte's shoulder. She immediately adjusted herself so that he was comfortable and then rested her cheek against his head, his soft hair tickling her skin. She was surprised at his gesture.
Sidney often offered support — physical or emotional — but rarely , if ever, sought it for himself. In fact, Charlotte could not remember a single instance where he had allowed himself to lean on her. She was both touched and thrilled at how much he had opened himself to her, allowed himself to be vulnerable with her.
Meanwhile, Sidney was questioning the wisdom of his move, considering how close his mouth now was to the soft skin of her neck, not to mention the proximity to her enticing cleavage, of which he now had quite a lovely view. But he felt relaxed and comfortable (except for the slight tightness in his trousers).
Entirely without meaning to, they fell asleep like that.
Or they both did, for some time. But while Charlotte fell into a deep slumber, Sidney came awake soon, shifted them to a more comfortable horizontal position with her in his arms, and slept only fitfully the rest of the night. Partly because he was in her room when he wasn't supposed to be, partly because of his thoughts. Mostly because having Charlotte in his arms was a wondrous feeling. He could scarce believe they were like this, that soon he would be able to sleep every night with her in his arms.
But while Charlotte's introduction in his life had certainly changed him, his brooding nature had not entirely disappeared. And so he brooded, thinking about the fears she had confessed — how, despite his reassurances, Tom and Mrs. Campion's behaviour had still made her afraid of losing him. It was telling that she was convinced that even after wreaking so much havoc, Tom was still capable of committing yet another misdemeanour.
He fell into a restless doze and came awake with a jerk when the grandfather clock downstairs struck four o'clock in the morning, causing Charlotte to stir in his arms.
"Sidney…" She murmured his name, half asleep.
"Darling," he whispered, realising the time and trying to wake her a little more, "I must go. We cannot risk anyone seeing me leave your room."
He could see it took her considerable effort to come even a little awake. But even half asleep, she pouted at the idea of him leaving, looking so adorable that it caused a wave of love to swamp over him. This would be what it would be like to wake up with her every morning, with them in the same bed, her hair tousled after a night of passion–
He could not afford to let his thoughts wander down that path, he reminded himself as his body reacted to her nearness. He really did need to leave.
"Okay," she muttered reluctantly, her eyes drifting shut again.
He slid out from under her before she could lay her head back on his chest again, for then he would never leave. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her to the bed as she came half awake again in surprise. She smiled up at him sleepily, lovingly, her palm stroking his cheek as he placed her on the mattress.
Her hand fell away and she was already asleep again as he covered her with the blanket. He bent down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, followed by a lingering one to her forehead. And vowed that not only would no power on this earth ever separate them, but also that Charlotte would never again have cause to doubt her position in his heart, in his life.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
When Charlotte came downstairs for breakfast the next morning — much earlier than usual as they needed to leave in good time for Willingden — Sidney and Mary were already at the table. Murmuring a soft good morning, she glanced at Sidney and found him staring at her. She blushed and smiled back but looked away quickly, too shy to hold his gaze. She did not dare to meet Mary's eyes either.
She had had a few anxious moments earlier while getting dressed, as she remembered the events of the previous night. What had seemed thrilling last night was still thrilling this morning. But she was afraid she had been too wanton, too eager, too encouraging of Sidney's advances. She had certainly at no point during the night thought to slow or even stop him.
However, her calm and sensible nature had quickly reasserted itself. She had no cause to feel ashamed, nor had Sidney said or done anything to make her feel so. On the contrary, everything they did had felt so perfectly natural. Indeed, she refused to feel shame over something they had both clearly wanted.
Besides, last night was more than just what had happened between them on a carnal level. She was glad he had ended up in her room and they had been able to discuss so many subjects that mattered to them as well as those that pertained to their future.
But whatever they had done was extremely intimate, and Mary would be extremely disappointed and scandalised if she found out. And being perceptive, she would immediately know if she caught the glances exchanged between Charlotte and Sidney.
So, she tried to act as nonchalant as possible, hoping Mary's sharp eyes would not spot her flaming cheeks or the fact that she could barely look at either of her companions at the table. Thankfully, Mary was too occupied in seeing to the children and Diana had decided to have a tray in her room on account of her late night.
On the other hand, when Charlotte refused to catch his gaze, Sidney instantly concluded she regretted everything that happened the previous night and immediately began berating himself. He had been too forward, he had moved too fast and had probably frightened her off. Just because she was curious and bold by nature, that did not mean she would be the same in this arena as well. After all, she was still very sheltered.
He had caused her to suffer many shocks ever since he had come into her life — encountering her unclothed at the cove, accidentally causing her to end up inside a brothel, practically mauling her every time they kissed. When viewed in the cold light of the morning, the events from last night were clearly one step too far. No wonder she would not even look at him.
He spent the rest of his quick breakfast in a part-morose, part-impatient, part-despairing silence, shooting glances at Charlotte that she did not return.
Mary, busy with the children, who were not pleased about having to be awake much earlier than usual, noticed nothing. She had had a sleepless night herself and was tired from the strained atmosphere between herself and her husband. She felt almost eager to be on the way.
While they were having breakfast, the footmen had brought the travellers' luggage down, including Charlotte's small trunk. Susan would be arriving anytime now. As Mary began the vexing task of getting her three older children into their coats, hats, and bonnets, Charlotte went up to her room to retrieve her own bonnet and pelisse.
Sensing the opportunity, Sidney sneaked upstairs after her. He found her in her room, gathering up her things, and she started when he came in.
"Sidney!"
"Charlotte." He took her hands in his, his grip tight, his demeanour urgent. "Last night… you are not…" What? Angry? Distressed? "Upset?"
Charlotte's eyes softened at his obvious concern. "No, of course not." When his eyes still searched hers, looking for confirmation, she took a step closer to reassure him. "I am not upset, Sidney."
He nodded, relieved because he could see she was telling the truth. His tense shoulders relaxed, but then sagged further when he caught sight of her bonnet and pelisse.
"I don't want you to leave," he admitted, pouting at the thought of their parting.
"It's only for a couple of days, Sidney. You'll be joining me in Willingden soon."
"Yes," he said, but looked as forlorn as Charlotte felt.
Unable to hold back the urge to comfort him, she rose up to the tips of her toes and pressed her lips to his. He put his arms around her and they clung to each other.
They were in the middle of a rather heated kiss, having forgotten that the door was ajar, when Diana entered the room.
"Charlotte– Oh!" The Parker sister gasped to find her brother and his fiancée in quite an ardent embrace. She immediately turned around, mortified, but her hasty exit was hindered by Mary, who entered the room moments behind her.
"What– Charlotte! Sidney!" Mary admonished at finding the couple in each other's arms.
Sidney bit back a growl, frustrated, as Charlotte tugged her way out of his hold. "For god's sake, have some mercy, Mary, I won't be seeing her—"
"For a day or two at most, Sidney." Mary's alarm and vexation subsided when she saw Charlotte looking just as miserable as her brother-in-law. "I know it is painful to be separated for even a few hours. But you are putting her reputation in danger! What if the servants talk?"
Sidney wanted to tell her his servants had been chosen for their discretion, that they would not speak a word of it to anyone inside the house let alone outside of it. But he refrained, mainly because Mary had already turned to Diana, who was standing to one side, embarrassed and uncertain.
"Is anything the matter, Diana?"
"Oh I just thought Charlotte might like to carry a tonic with her for the journey today. She seemed a little unwell last night. Are you sure you are up to travelling, Charlotte?" she asked "Wouldn't you rather wait for a day or two?"
"I am perfectly well, Diana," Charlotte hastened to assure her but Mary was already frowning at her.
"Unwell?"
"I heard her groaning last night and thought she had a stomach ache," said Diana. "She assured me she was fine but she does look a little flushed this morning, does she not, Mary?"
Mary's eyes narrowed suspiciously as she regarded Charlotte and Sidney, both of whom were slightly pink-cheeked but their faces were studiously innocent. They reminded her of Henry when he tried to pretend he had not committed some mischief. Remembering her suspicions from two nights ago, when she had found Charlotte looking flushed and flustered in the library, it took mere seconds for Mary to connect the dots and conclude that she Diana had both unknowingly interrupted trysts between the couple.
She sighed inwardly, exasperated at their wilfulness and wondering whether to call them out on it. But what use would it be? Charlotte was going to Willingden and Sidney to Sanditon. And whenever they next met, they would be under far stricter supervision. Besides, she was already wrung out from dealing with her cranky children and Tom. For her own sanity, she decided to let it go.
"Lady Worcester's carriage has arrived," she said instead and began herding Charlotte out.
His private goodbye to Charlotte cut short, Sidney clenched his jaw in frustration and followed them downstairs along with Diana.
The confusion of departure reigned in the entrance hall as footmen ferried trunks and boxes to the waiting carriage outside. Greetings were exchanged and goodbyes were said. Mary looked tearful and strained at Tom's absence, but Sidney's extra tight hug and the silent message in his eyes reassured her — he understood her pain as well as her reasons for going.
The children made Uncle Sidney promise he would join them in Willingden as soon as possible. They seemed to have forgotten about their father, who had spent all his time since his arrival confined to one of the guest rooms, which he had taken for himself.
Everyone was herded out to the large carriage. Susan was already seated inside, and the children's Nurse was directed to join her as her footmen loaded the luggage. Alicia, Jenny, and Henry clambered in after her and Diana said goodbye to them and reminded them to be good. Sidney, carrying baby James until the women were all seated, grasped Charlotte's hand and held it up until the last moment.
Just as the footman went to help Mary into the carriage, instinct made her look up. Charlotte and Sidney followed her gaze and they saw Tom staring down at them from one of the upstairs windows. His expression was unfathomable as he watched them, but it was cold and certainly not friendly; they could tell that much, even at this distance.
It was the children calling Mary that made her look away first.
"Come Charlotte," she said.
Sidney pressed a swift kiss to Charlotte's knuckles before handing her up into the carriage after Mary and passing baby James to them. Then, he stood back on the pavement with Diana and watched the carriage until it turned around the corner and went out of view, his heart going with it.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
They made the journey to Willingden in good time. The carriages had travelled at a fast and steady pace, stopping only for quick breaks for lunch and tea and to change horses. Even the children had enjoyed the journey, with Susan, Charlotte and Nurse keeping them engaged with games and pointing out interesting things out of the window.
The sun had set and dusk was falling over the fields by the time they rumbled over the bridge and turned into the gates of Heywood Hall. Heywoods of all ages and sizes poured out of the house, watching agape, for none of them had seen such a grand carriage before. It stopped in the forecourt, but none of them approached yet, not even the little ones, who would have usually exuberantly mobbed any new arrival. Their mouths fell open when they saw their eldest sister peering out of the windows.
Charlotte paused on the steps leading down from the carriage, her eyes alighting on her gathered siblings, her parents stepping out of the doorway. Her eyes widened as Crowe rounded the corner of the house, sporting a white bandage around his head.
"Charlotte, get down!" Henry piped up impatiently from somewhere behind her and she hopped down the last step before the children could unceremoniously push her off.
Mrs. Heywood's eyes widened as an unexpected number of people – both familiar and unfamiliar – exited the carriage, the last one being a fashionable lady to whom the elegant travelling carriage undoubtedly belonged.
"Charlotte." Mr. Heywood stepped forward and it was all she needed to fly into her father's arms. Emma and Ben, the youngest children, were close on his heels, throwing their arms around their eldest sister's legs as the other siblings too crowded close.
Mrs. Heywood welcomed Mary warmly, who introduced her to her children and Lady Worcester. To say Mrs. Heywood's eyes widened in surprise was an understatement – the usually unflappable and poised woman almost gaped, but recovered and curtseyed.
"Why don't we all go inside." Mr. Heywood's no-nonsense voice cut through the clamour, and Charlotte's brothers Marcus and William started herding their siblings back into the house. He offered his arm to the grand lady, who bestowed one of her signature smiles upon him as she took it. Mr. Crowe gallantly held out his arm for Mary, who for the first time in her life was happy to see her brother-in-law's rogue of a friend.
Introductions were made once they all gathered in the living room. None of the Heywoods were shy or reticent. Susan found all them to be engaging, friendly and good-humoured, much like Charlotte. The younger children quickly made friends with Alicia, Jenny, and Henry Parker and only the fact that they had to sit down for supper prevented them from running off to play.
Susan expressly forbade Mrs. Heywood from making up a room for her, insisting that she would not impose on Charlotte's family when they had no idea she was coming to Willingden with their daughter. "The inn in the little village square will do very well," she claimed, and she was not wrong. For although Willingden was remote, the inn was comfortable and offered good accommodation to travellers who passed through on their way to other smaller hamlets in the countryside. And the innkeeper and his family would certainly cater well to a noblewoman of her calibre.
After supper, all the children, including the Parker kids, were sent to bed, their protests ignored. Marcus Heywood, who was nearly eighteen, tried to get away with staying behind on account of being the eldest son, but one look from his mother had him scurrying out of the room too in the wake of his siblings. He winked at Charlotte and Alison as he closed the door behind him, and the two sisters exchanged vexed glances. They were aware that he and William along with Anne and Jane, the fourteen-year-old twins who were completely agog with curiosity over the entire affair, would try their best to eavesdrop.
When only Mary, Lady Worcester, and Crowe remained apart from the Heywood parents and their eldest daughters, Mr. Heywood turned to his firstborn.
"Now," he said to Charlotte, "I believe you had better tell us what on earth is going on, daughter."
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