Notes: A little time jump of a few weeks since the last chapter. It's now a few days before Christmas.
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Chapter 28 - The Return
Kurt was in the storage room, doing the diner's inventories. It was the task he liked the least with his job, except maybe cleaning the rest rooms, but Santana had claimed it was his turn to do it, that she had done it the week before. Kurt had his doubts, he wasn't even supposed to work today, but as usual he didn't want to argue with her. The only thing he wanted was for time to move forward at a faster pace.
In three days, he would be going home for Christmas. Christmas was Kurt's favorite holiday. Not because of the gifts but because of the time he got to spend with his family at home. Christmas meant relaxing in front of the fire, long lazy mornings, afternoon matinees and walks in the snow. It meant candles and hot apple cider and too much food. His friends would all be back in Lima, too, and Kurt was looking forward to seeing all of them again.
In three days, Kurt would get to see Blaine. This was the thing he was looking forward to most this Christmas. In three days, he would get to hug Blaine and spend real time with him, not just time on the phone. Kurt couldn't wait for those three days to pass. He'd been counting down the days since he left Ohio at Thanksgiving, but the closer the day of his return home got, the slower time seemed to move and the more he missed Blaine.
They talked every day, and it was great to have that connection again, but seeing Blaine on FaceTime wasn't the same as being in the same room as him. Kurt knew it wouldn't be more than hugs and perhaps holding Blaine's hand when they were alone, but it was enough to still the longing in his heart. At least for now.
Kurt knew Blaine was having less of the bad days, but they were still there. He wished Blaine would let him help him on those days, but those were the days Blaine clammed up and their talk was kept short. Kurt wished he could do more for Blaine, help him in some way, but on those days he felt powerless and as though all he had to offer was his patience.
"34, 35, 36, 37," Kurt counted quietly as he inventoried the number of napkin packages. He wrote down the number on the inventory list and then continued with the salt packages. He lost count several times and had to start over. Partly because he found the task extremely tedious and partly because his mind had already taken a Christmas break and was back in Lima, Ohio.
Suddenly the door was opened, and when Kurt looked up Santana was standing in the doorway with a sly smile and her arms crossed over her chest.
"I think you missed one."
"Shut up, Santana," Kurt muttered. Santana could be the best friend, but she could also be the most annoying friend.
"Seriously, I think you missed one," she continued and though she sounded serious, Kurt knew she was mocking him.
"Do you want to do it yourself?" Kurt reached out the inventory list towards her with a challenge in his eyes. Do it or shut up.
"Typical Hummel, always trying to get others to do his job," Santana snickered. "But I have a busy diner to tend to, so unfortunately no can do."
"If the diner is so busy, what are you doing back here?" Kurt asked, suspecting the diner wasn't busy at all. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was 2 pm - after lunch but before the afternoon coffee rush.
"Actually," Santana said and leaned away from the doorway, "we need your help, it seems everyone is taking a late lunch today and Ethel isn't really up for running around. Her arthritis is getting worse, and I seriously question why she's even working any longer. She should retire and let someone younger do her job."
Kurt felt sorry for Ethel. She was getting worse but still she showed up every day even if she couldn't do much. "I guess I'll finish this later then," he said and placed the inventory list on one of the shelves. He was glad for the break, being in the diner, among people, serving food, was what he liked, what he was hired to do.
Kurt followed Santana back into the diner and saw that she was right, the place was almost full, and several tables hadn't got either food or something to drink.
"Which tables should I take?" Kurt asked as he put on his white apron.
The diner was decked out with green garlands, red ornaments, and strings of lights in different colors. Guests were wearing shorts and short sleeved shirts. This wasn't Kurt's first Christmas season in Florida, but he still couldn't get used to the combination of hearing Christmas music while the outside temperature was that of an Ohioan summer. The Christmas season to Kurt was snowy and cold and hot chocolate, not beaches and sunblock and colorful drinks with umbrellas.
"If you take ten, eleven and twelve, I'll take two, four and seven." Santana was already on her way, her high ponytail swaying as she moved towards the first table.
"Thank you, Kurt," Ethel said from the chair she was sitting on behind the counter. "I know I should be the one-"
"Don't worry about it," Kurt smiled at her. He liked Ethel, she was a sweet old lady and he had come to care a great deal about her since the many hours they spent together talking on days when the diner was less busy. "You should go home and rest instead, take care of yourself. Me and Santana got this."
"There are still things I can do from behind here," she insisted with a friendly smile. "I'm not dead yet."
Kurt had learned not to argue with her about her arthritis, so he didn't this time either. Instead he washed his hands, picked up a few of the plastic menu cards and headed out to the tables.
"Excuses me," a man called out to Kurt when he passed a table on his way to table ten.
"I'll be with you in just a second," Kurt answered without turning around to offer the man an apologetic smile he normally would. The many guests waiting to have their orders taken stressed him and he wanted to tend to them in the order Santana had given him. He trusted she knew which customers had been there the longest.
"I would like to order some coffee and fries," the man continued, ignoring Kurt's answer.
Kurt slowed down his steps and stopped. Coffee and fries. That was Blaine's order, but Blaine was in Lima. This was just someone else ordering the same thing. This was just...
"And perhaps also a slice of you."
Kurt turned around and now his heart stopped, too. He couldn't believe what he saw. "Blaine!" It was him, in the flesh, sitting in Kurt's diner. "What are you doing here?" Kurt's heart started racing instead and he forgot where he was going and why.
"I couldn't stand the cold in Ohio one more day, I'm in need of a bit of sunshine," Blaine smiled and gestured for Kurt to sit down. "I'm not built for that climate."
"But I facetimed you yesterday and you were still in your room then," Kurt said while sitting down. This was unreal, yet there he was.
"About 100 years ago they invented this thing called airplanes, they make you travel really far in just the fraction of the time it would take to walk or drive," Blaine said with a teasing smile that made Kurt roll his eyes.
"I can't believe you're actually here," Kurt said, more to himself than to Blaine. He was in shock to see Blaine there. He wasn't supposed to see Blaine for a few days. "So you just flew here because of the cold?"
"And because it's David's birthday and he's having a huge birthday party tonight."
"Of course!" Kurt remembered what day it was now. He was invited, too, but neither David or Blaine or anyone else had mentioned anything about Blaine coming to the party. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? Why didn't David or Nick or any of the others say anything? Or is it a surprise? Oh, this is going to be so much fun! We can go together and party together. Does David know you're here? Where are you staying? Did you just get here?" Kurt rambled on excitedly without stopping to catch his breath.
"Kurt." Blaine interrupted his string of questions.
Kurt looked at Blaine and was met with eyes hazel brown and warm. "Yes?"
Blaine didn't say anything, just looked at Kurt as a smile spread across his lips.
"Sorry, too many questions," Kurt apologized. "I just wasn't expecting to see you here."
"I take it you're happy to see me?"
"Always." Happy was an understatement. Happy was just the beginning of his feelings. He'd been counting down the days and now Blaine was there. Kurt was thrilled!
Blaine was Blaine and even if Blaine was just his friend, Kurt still loved being in the same room as him. Blaine was still the person he would choose to spend time with, and now he sat there, smiling so kindly at him, that Kurt lost himself a little in that smile.
"Hi," Blaine said softly and Kurt realized they hadn't greeted each other before.
"Hi," Kurt returned and breathed normally for the first time since he saw Blaine. "Wow, I can't believe you're really here."
"I am, and I'm happy to see you, too."
Blaine was so calm and completely relaxed when Kurt's emotions were all over the place. He needed to get a grip of himself, but it was hard when he couldn't stop smiling and couldn't stop looking at Blaine.
"Can we go somewhere?" Blaine asked.
"Sure, yes, but I don't get off for another...," Kurt glanced at the clock above the door, "three hours. Do you want to wait?" Kurt really hoped Blaine would wait, but three hours was a long time and maybe he had things to do before David's party.
"Your shift has already ended," Kurt heard Santana say right behind him. "You can go."
Kurt turned to look at her, confused to say the least. "No, I work until five."
"Nope."
"Yes, I do. You called me in and said you needed me here until Mary arrives at five. You can't do this alone with Ethel not feeling well."
"There's nothing wrong with Ethel, look." Santana pointed behind her and Kurt leaned out to have a look. There was Ethel, walking around with no sign of her arthritis bothering her, talking merrily to customers while pouring coffee.
Kurt was even more confused. "But before…" Ethel had sat behind the counter unable to walk and Santana had said she needed his help… What was going on?
"What are you even doing here, you're not supposed to work at all today," Santana said.
When Kurt's eyes returned to her, she wore a mischievous look and Kurt started to suspect something was up. He turned to Blaine and saw that he was glancing in her direction, just briefly before looking at Kurt.
"What's going on?" Kurt asked. "Are you in on this, too?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Though Blaine's voice was innocent, Kurt's suspicions grew stronger. "It doesn't seem you have to work, so, do you want to come with me?"
Kurt looked between the two of them, not sure whether he should be happy or nervous. He wouldn't mind getting out of there and go somewhere with Blaine, but it made him nervous not knowing what was going on. "Are you sure?" he asked Santana.
"Yes. Go. Scram." Santana shooed him with her hand.
"Okay..." Kurt hesitated, but when Ethel whizzed past them as if she'd never heard the word arthritis, he knew they didn't need him there.
Kurt told Blaine he'd meet him outside, then he went to hang his apron and collect his things. As he hurried through the kitchen, Earl called to him from behind the frying station.
"So, the boy came back for you."
"I don't know if he came for me but… wait, how do you know about Blaine?" Kurt stopped and took a few steps towards Earl. Earl hadn't been in the diner, how could he know Blaine was there? "Are you in on this, too?"
Earl chuckled. "No, no. This is all the ladies working."
"What is? What's going on?"
Earl shrugged. "Not supposed to say anything. But have a nice afternoon with your boy."
Kurt didn't know what to think, but he didn't have to do any more inventories and he got to spend time with Blaine - it was more than perfect.
Outside, Blaine was leaning against Kurt's car, face turned towards the warming sun. Blaine was pale after having spent months in Ohio and by the looks of it, he really had missed the sun. Kurt didn't know for how long Blaine was staying, but he hoped it was days. If nothing else than so that Blaine could get back the tanned glow on his skin.
Kurt hoped Blaine was staying for other, selfish, reasons as well, but he knew better than that. It didn't stop the flutter in his belly though when he looked at Blaine. Feelings he'd closed off were suddenly there again even though he knew Blaine needed more time to heal. He was powerless to those when he was in Blaine's presence.
Kurt hadn't reflected on it before, been too preoccupied with the fact that Blaine was there, but now he saw it. Blaine was wearing the red polo shirt Kurt had gotten him at Thanksgiving. The rest of his clothes and shoes were still black, but the combination looked so good on him and Kurt almost forgot that he was a little annoyed that everyone seemed to be in on some kind of secret Kurt was excluded from.
"I like the shirt on you," Kurt said when he approached Blaine.
Blaine turned away from the sun, smile ever present, and removed his sunglasses. "I like it on me, too."
Something, Kurt couldn't say what, was exchanged between them. A smile, a look, a moment, something that made the air vibrate between them. Kurt shook it off. He knew better.
"Where are you staying? Do you want me to take you there?" Kurt asked. Blaine was traveling light, only carrying a backpack as far as Kurt could see. Or maybe he had already left his suitcase where he was staying.
"Ehm…" Blaine rubbed his neck. "I was kind of hoping I could stay with you."
A million thoughts flew through Kurt's mind. Blaine in his apartment. Flashbacks from the only night Blaine had spent there. Blaine sleeping in his bed because he would never let Blaine sleep on the couch. Blaine sitting next to him on his couch again. The two of them spending time together alone without having to care about anything or anyone.
"I can ask David if you're not okay with it," Blaine said when Kurt said nothing. "I know I should have asked you, but I also wanted to surprise you. But I can absolutely ask David, I'm sure he'll say yes."
"No, of course you can stay with me," Kurt quickly answered. "Are you crazy? It will be great! We can get ready for the party together and tomorrow we can go out for a late breakfast together."
It hadn't existed in Kurt's imagination that Blaine would want to stay with him, but now he didn't want it any other way. He loved spending time with Blaine. This day just kept getting better.
"Okay, so let's go to your place then."
Blaine rolled down the window of Kurt's car, letting the warm wind blow through his hair. Kurt would have preferred the cool air of the AC but said nothing. Blaine seemed so happy and content and what was a little warm air that made Kurt sweaty, compared to that look on Blaine's face?
"How long are you staying?"
"I'm booked on the same flight back to Columbus as you. Is it okay if I stay with you until then?"
Three days with Blaine in his apartment. Kurt smiled. "If you can put up with me for three days, you're more than welcome to stay."
Blaine chuckled. "I'll try my best. You are a bit unbearable at times, but I think I'll be able to manage."
"Hey!" Kurt slapped Blaine's arm playfully, but then they both laughed.
It felt unreal to have Blaine there, back in Florida and in his car, laughing, on their way to his apartment. But it also felt good. So damn good. No matter how much or how little was going on between them, Kurt always felt at home with Blaine. Having him there was an early Christmas gift.
The rest of the car ride to Kurt's apartment was spent on small talk and Blaine looking out the window at his former hometown passing by. Even though Kur was focused on the road he could sometimes, in the corner of his eye, see Blaine closing his eyes and leaning his head against the headrest. Being back for David's party couldn't only be fun, the city held a lot of bad memories for Blaine, too. But he seemed happy, so Kurt didn't want to bring it up yet. Instead, there were other questions, burning to be asked.
"Did you talk to Santana before coming here?" Kurt asked as he searched for a parking space near his building.
"Maybe," Blaine answered vaguely.
"Why?" Kurt pried.
"I told you, I wanted to surprise you. And I wanted to make sure you would be there and didn't have any other plans for the afternoon."
"Although I love the surprise, you could have just asked me."
"And missed out on that look on your face? No, this was much better." Blaine's voice was light and warm, with a hint of amusement. "Although it came with a high price."
"Really?" Kurt looked over briefly at Blaine to see if he was serious or not, but he couldn't tell. "What price was that?"
"Santana yelled at me for ten minutes."
"What?" Kurt laughed. "Why?"
"She went on about if I ever hurt you or make you cry again, she'd come after me and make my life a living hell."
"She didn't!" Kurt wanted to be appalled, but he wasn't really surprised that Santana had done something like that.
"Her words were actually much worse than that," Blaine chuckled. "She's a good friend. She cares about you."
"When it suits her," Kurt agreed. Santana was special, and Kurt considered them friends. Friends who took every opportunity to banter and make fun of each other. At least Santana did. "I hope you told her to mind her own business."
"I told her she had nothing to worry about. Those days when I hurt you are over, and we are friends now. She wasn't convinced, but I convinced her to help me out today anyway. I made her make sure you wouldn't have any plans for the afternoon because there is something I want to talk to you about before the party tonight."
"What is that?" Kurt asked as he spotted a vacant parking space and parked his car there.
"Let's go inside first."
Kurt pouted and pleaded Blaine with puppy dog eyes. Whatever it was, he wanted to know now. If Blaine couldn't tell him in the car it meant it was something serious and Kurt didn't want more of those conversations. Hadn't they had serious talks to last them for years? Couldn't they have a few days of just fun?
"Don't look at me like that," Blaine laughed. "Come on, let's just go inside."
"Okay," Kurt sighed as an uneasy feeling settled in his belly. He pushed it away, or he tried to at least. He and Blaine had only had good talks since that Thanksgiving weekend, but with Blaine he could never be sure.
"Don't worry, It's a good thing. I promise," Blaine said as if he could read Kurt's mind.
They got out of the car and walked side by side along the pavement that led to Kurt's apartment building. Kurt talked about David's party and how much fun it would be to go together, mainly to keep his own thoughts occupied. Someone had decorated the streetlight poles with Christmas garlands and red ribbons, and at the corner coffee shop a decorated tree was placed on the sidewalk. It was pretty, even though it wouldn't feel like Christmas until they were back in snowy Ohio.
When they reached Kurt's building, they climbed the stairs and Kurt unlocked the door to his apartment to let Blaine in. Blaine put his backpack on the floor and took a few steps into the room.
"Do you want some coffee?" Kurt asked. He needed something to do, something to occupy his mind and hands, because now he couldn't stop thinking about what Blaine wanted to talk about. And he couldn't stop a little worry from finding its way into his heart even if Blaine had told him not to worry.
Blaine looked around and took in the apartment, maybe to see if anything had changed since he was last there. "No, thanks. Let's sit down."
"Okay," Kurt agreed. Blaine seemed suddenly serious, and Kurt got an ominous feeling about whatever it was Blaine wanted to talk about.
"So, ehm…" Blaine started when they had sat down. Then he fell quiet again. His fingers fidgeted with one of Kurt's throw pillows and Kurt realized that maybe it wasn't serious Blaine had become. He was nervous.
"Okay." Blaine inhaled and exhaled audibly. When his eyes met Kurt, Kurt tried to give him a reassuring smile, even though Kurt felt nothing of that reassurance himself. It seemed to work on Blaine though because his shoulders dropped, and he stopped fidgeting. "Although I do miss the sun and I am looking forward to David's party tonight, those are not the only reasons I'm here. They're not even the main reasons."
Kurt scrunched his nose. "What is the main reason then?"
"This past month has been very tumultuous for me and I've had to reevaluate a lot of 'truths' about myself. I have processed things I've pushed away for far too long and I have made peace with situations and memories I know I cannot or couldn't have influenced. I have cried and yelled, I've been pissed off and felt angry and wronged and a whole range of different emotions. I've been to hell and back emotionally, but it has been worth it because I'm starting to see that there is light in the darkness. I'm not done yet, there is still much I need to work through, but I'm feeling so much stronger and confident today."
"That's great, Blaine!" Kurt knew through their talks that Blaine was progressing and that he'd seen his therapist a lot, but Blaine hadn't been this talkative about it before.
"It is," Blaine smiled. "It's like I've been walking in quicksand for so long but now I'm finally feeling some firm ground under my feet. I feel like I can finally put it behind me now, not in the sense that I will ever forget what I've gone through, but I don't have to live with it 24/7."
"I'm so happy that it's working and that you're feeling better. That's all I want for you." Kurt reached out and squeezed Blaine's hand. "But I still don't understand why you're here, you could have told me this over the phone."
When Kurt tried to withdraw his hand, Blaine held on to it. "I could have, but this next part I wanted to say in person." Blaine paused to breathe in, and Kurt's heart was racing in his chest. "I want to be with you, Kurt."
"I know, when all of this is behind you. We've talked about this," Kurt said without really listening to the tone in Blaine's voice.
"No, not then. Now. I don't want to wait for a distant, diffuse future to be with you when I already know. You're in my heart, Kurt, no matter how damaged it is and that will never change. I love you and all I want is a chance to be with you."
"Are you sure?" Kurt didn't like that he had to question Blaine, but he had to make sure Blaine had thought it through. He couldn't survive getting his heart broken by Blaine again. "Don't get me wrong, I love you, too, and you know I want to be with you, more than anything in this world, but last time we met you said that-"
"Yes, I am sure, and do you want to know how I know that?" Blaine interrupted. Kurt fell silent and nodded. "Because even if you say no, I know I'm gonna be okay. I told you I needed to do these first steps on my own, but what I really needed was to make sure I could do them without you. That I would be okay even if you weren't there, because I can't be dependent on you to feel good. Life isn't all black anymore, and even if my journey isn't over, I know I'm gonna be okay."
Blaine moved closer to Kurt on the couch, shifted his hand so that their fingers were laced together instead of loosely holding each other, and leaned in.
"I love you, Kurt. Do you want to be my boyfriend?"
It was corny and sweet, and the first time anyone had asked Kurt if he wanted to be their boyfriend.
"Openly," Blaine continued. "No more hiding who I am or how I feel about you."
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Notes: Sorry, that ending was a little abrupt, but the chapter was running long and I needed to break it somewhere… :)
