(Theme Sixty-Eight) Let's Do Old And Grey Part II

(As Prompted by) Various

Azula and Ty Lee are currently on a sofa, feeling undeniably bored as they are told to watch their granddaughter, who is pushing two years old and is currently attempting to force them to play with her. Ty Lee cannot help but be reminded of Izumi tugging on Azula constantly, or of their own daughter and Azula's utter inability to ever say no to her.

"Play with her," Azula insists, poking the child's back and nudging her towards Ty Lee.

"No," says the two year old before pouting.

"Go bother someone else," Azula suggests with a small, rather frightening scarlet smile. "You know who really wants to be bothered, erm, played with? Your Uncle Zuko. He loves being bothered by little children and the profuse slime that comes out of their hands."

She analyzes Azula with her wide, glittering golden eyes for a moment before deeming arguing not worth it and stumbling away, half crawling, towards the dining room in which everyone else is gathered.

"Why are you pouting?" Azula demands as she turns to Ty Lee and cocks an eyebrow. "You're always pouting..."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes. And then sighs, realizing she has nothing left to hide at this point. "I don't even understand why she likes you."

"What? That's absurd. I'm so fun," Azula replies pleasantly, turning up a pale palm.

"You made her organize her toys by usefulness yesterday." Ty Lee tilts her chin in the other direction.

"But I didn't make her burn the least useful ones, love. If that's not kindness, I don't know what is." It is entirely possible that Azula is being honest right now, which is, utterly terrifying.

"You know what my grandmother did with me?"

"What?"

"Taught me how to bake cinnamon cupcakes," Ty Lee says dryly as she hears a wine bottle uncork in the other room. And after all of this time, she is still sitting in the cold, other room, hiding from the party because she finds Azula more interesting, for some reason. That's a scary thought.

Azula looks at Ty Lee in mild disbelief. "Hmm?"

"Not in the way I taught you to bake cinnamon cupcakes. Agni, that's disgusting," Ty Lee grumbles with a very pointed roll of her eyes.

"I wasn't implying that at all." Azula shrugs, this time clearly lying.

"Also, she would buy me presents and hem my clothes before events," Ty Lee opts to continue, waving her hand majestically.

"She sounds horrifically boring. I am much more fun. Everything is more fun with organization and firebending."

"Hm. No."

"And you're such a traditional grandparent. You're not a traditional anything. I've never been yelled at for putting lipstick on her or setting her loose with paints," Azula says with a haughty shrug. It is no wonder people fear her.

"You've never been yelled at by anyone."

"Only you." Azula sighs melodramatically.

Ty Lee scoffs. "Ugh. I have every right to constantly yell at you. I earned that right for officially having been married to you for a quarter of a century."

"Are we measuring our relationship in centuries now?"

"Well, if we are, we're nearly at half by now." Ty Lee is hit by that realization like a brick wall falling onto her. Has she honestly been with Azula in some way or another for that long?

They did meet when they were toddlers, and they had a mutual childhood crush even then, if Ursa is a reliable source. No, no... that's too frightening.

Azula, however, is only encouraged by that revelation. "Let's push for full hundred. The Hundred Year Relationship, they'll call it. Such a bloody and brutal conflict with such notable battles as trying to strangle a princess in her sleep just because she accidentally stole the blankets and not talking to each other for three days."

"That was not an accident. You also wrapped them around yourself as a noose to prevent me from taking them back. My actions were justified. And of course, the genocide of all of Ty Lee's friendships and social hobbies."

"Perhaps we should make a monument for them. They were horrible friends and boring activities anyway, will be the inscription. I'll have it bronzed."

Ty Lee shakes her head, hating to admit how amused she is by this conversation. Despite how disrespectful it is to the millions dead, and a world in ruins and oppression for a hundred years. "At least gold, Azula. I'm more expensive than that."

"Well, of course, the only reason you're with me is because I'm so rich and royal. I mean, it's not as if I've ever seen you dating someone who wouldn't further your social standing and buy you those really hideous pink cardigans you think are cute."

"Really cute. They are cute."

"The Battle of Azula Begging Desperately for her Wife Not to Wear the Hideous Pink Cardigan in Public was a very important turning point in the One Hundred Year Relationship."

"If you had been begging and not ordering maybe I wouldn't have worn it for two weeks to spite you."

"I don't beg. I have never begged."

"Oh, now that's a lie..."

And then they both are laughing. Ty Lee squints at her for a moment as they finally manage to compose themselves.

"I'm not with you because you're rich and royal," Ty Lee says quietly, her smile refusing to fade. "I'm with you because you're funny in the absolute cruelest of ways. Of all of the friends have had over the years, none of them making sitting in boring places as interesting as you."

"Well, of course. So long as there are people or things around to mock, I will mock them," Azula purrs with a small wink. She has eyeliner on her pronounced cheekbone and Ty Lee decides not to tell her. "I'm only with you because you're attractive."

"Oh, come on now..." Ty Lee rolls her eyes.

"I refuse to say."

"I said."

"The reason I am with you is redacted in interests of national security."

"By which you mean you're with me because I'm mandated by law to make sure you don't burn down any cities in a trail of massive destruction and cause an international incident."

"Well, of course. Why else?"

Quiet laughter, punctuated by louder laughter in the other, packed room. Ty Lee then sighs. "It's our party. We should probably be at it."

"I actually bet you two hundred gold pieces and those stilettos you hate me wearing that no one would even notice if we left right now," Azula says confidently.

Ty Lee shrugs. "I think I win either way."

And they make their quick and quiet escape.