Chapter 266: A Conversation with Seth
AN: I can't remember the exact details of how the vampire transformation goes like how long people tend to scream before they passed out.
It has been almost a week since I came to Cullens house. Each day felt torturously long. I avoided Jake and the Cullens like the walking plague. I wasn't sure how to interact with them, but having Seth around, it really did make each day more tolerable. The days didn't feel as long, but as each day goes by, the more longingly I feel for Sam. No matter how much I try to not think about it, there is this constant tiredness and cloud over my head. I missed Sam's presence. Of course, there were times I wouldn't see him for days because he had work projects outside of La Push, but that was different. I was still in La Push with family and friends with constant contact with the pack. I was also in the comfort of my house.
Despite of it all, Seth was understanding and sweet. He tries his best to make me laugh, smile, but he also knows there are times that I have my emotional moments and I just want to be left alone. He didn't pry or asked me questions of why I haven't interacted with Jake. I barely have said a word to Jake, and Jake hasn't tried to approach me since the first day. I made the determination to not seek Jake unless he comes to me himself. If I see he does, then I see it as a sign for me I see it that there is hope for Jake and I will slowly talk to him again. I don't doubt that Seth had already spoken with Jake whenever I took a nap, or I wanted to be by myself for a while in the room. Seth didn't make me go downstairs to socialize with the others. Many times, he would stay with me in the room, telling stories about his days at high school. Thankfully he was still in winter break, so he isn't missing any school days.
One day, Seth finally spoke up about Jake. I was laying down in my bed, reading one of the early parenthood books that Rosalie offered me to read. She had bought them for Bella months ago, and Bella had already read them, so I was reading them for my own knowledge and to pass some time.
Seth said hesitantly, "hey Ale.."
I said, "yeah?" without looking away from the book.
He added, "I'm..really worried about Jake."
I put my book down, and I responded honestly, "yeah..me too.."
Seth said, "Jake..showed me through our pack mind of how things were with his wolf before he left the pack, and it's.. frightening. I never seen a wolf so.. controlling and angry toward the spirt warrior. To me, it.. looked like all the constant battle for control.. broke Jake. I don't know how to explain it, he's just..different, and I'm worried. Do you have any idea what Jake can do?"
There was a long silence between us.
I finally said, "I..dont have those clear answers for him. It's something that he needs to figure out himself, but with the given situation, there are only few options that he can go about his life from this point on."
Seth said, "oh, and what are the options?"
I sighed, "I doubt he'll be allowed to flee with the Cullens, so either he leaves the tribe after he miraculously helps the cullens, or come back. If he does come back, then either he lets go of his wolf spirit or fight Sam to be Alpha.."
Seth said with understanding, "with two Alphas around each other and Jake already upset Sam's wolf, a fight will bound to happen."
I nodded.
Seth asked with concern, "if Jake leaves..where would he go? all he ever know is the tribe.."
I looked at him sadly, "I..don't know..Maybe he could settle down or find his imprint?"
Seth looked surprised, leaned closer and asked, "do you think he has an imprint?"
I said truthfully, "I honestly don't know …but, I think he needs to pull himself together before settling down with anybody."
Seth looked deep in thought. I added, "it won't be fair for the imprint or his chosen to pull Jake together.."
Seth sighed, "right.."
For the remainder of the day, we were kept to ourselves, and we didn't bring up Jake again. I knew Seth cares a lot for Jake because Jake was a older pack brother for him. I can tell that it hurts him to see how Jake is at the moment, so I didn't mind talking about Jake to help him process his feelings and thoughts regarding him….But, If I think about it some more, I think it helped me too in a way. I..don't hate Jake for what he did, but I haven't fully forgiven him just yet. However..my heart feels less heavy as time passed. I feel like I am getting closer to forgiving him, but it doesn't mean, we can go back to how we were. It might never go bac to used to be, but maybe there is a slight chance that we could be friends again.
X
It has been two days since that conversation with Seth regarding Jake. Every day, I see Bella's pregnant belly getting bigger and bigger. I think she will be giving birth either the next day or in two. They would probably induce the labor early to prevent Renesmee from clawing her way out of the placenta and accidently killing Bella in the process.
Whenever I would ask Edward, Alice or Carlisle what their plans are regarding delivering Renesmee, for some damn reason, they chose to keep in the dark. They didn't want to tell me what are their plans which makes no sense to me. It's not like I have the power to change things, so I really don't see why it is necessary to keep me in the dark. Then, when I asked if I could make a phone call to Sam just to let him know of how I was doing, my idea would be immediately shut down by Edward and Alice. They explained that I was too unpredictable and since there was only one future of the Cullens surviving from Sam's wrath, they didn't want to take any chances.
I was angry.
I have been tolerating all of this bull shit from the Cullens, and I haven't made my house arrest with them harder than necessary. Yet, they couldn't grant me this one favor? Jacob remained silent the whole time and avoided giving me eye contact while Seth would sit by my side and hug me silently. I knew Seth's hands is tied too with Jake around. Knowing Jake, he probably alpha command to follow along him and the Cullens decisions. We were literally helpless against the Cullens.
This only made me upset with Jake even more.
It's not like I want the Cullens to be dead. I do want everyone to leave this situation happy, and I want to contribute any way I can, but…it won't be possible with the given situation. It seems like the Cullens are dead set with whatever plan they have in mind. Because of this, it's been awkward and tense with the Cullens, so I try to avoid them as much as I can and stay in my room. Even though Esme has been hospitable, my distrustful feelings toward the Cullens haven't changed.
X
There was one time that I took a long afternoon nap. I was doing some yoga and stretching in the room to help with the aching back pain from basically sedentary the past week and for the growing weight of the twins. Carlisle suggested for me to do some yoga and with Rosalie help, I was able to do it on my own once they showed me what I can do to release the pressure on my lower back. It was awkward, but their suggestions helped.
I heard a light knock by the door, and thinking that it was Seth checking on me, I said, "come in."When I looked up to see who it is, it was Jake. This is my first time getting a real look at Jake. He had dark bags under his eyes and his face was pale. We stared at each other for a moment before I stood up and sat down on the bed.
I wiped the sweat from my face, and I said calmly, "is there something you need Jake?"
Jake sat down at the far corner of the bed, and he sighed, "I..want to speak to you."
I said, "okay."
Jake awkwardly laughed, "I had to swear my life for Seth to comfortably let me go near you."
I scoffed, "really? You didn't Alpha command him to let you come near me?"
Jake paused, "No! of course not. It just..I-I know..with me siding the Cullens, it made things harder for you to forgive me."
I said without holding back,, "you got that right."
Jake continued, "as the day get closer to when Bella gives birth and Cullens needing to escape, it got me thinking.."
I stayed silent, waiting for Jake to collect his thoughts.
Jake said, "whatever happens to me or the Cullens, I promise you. I will bring you back safely to Sam. You have my word."
I bit my lip, trying to hold back my tears.
Jake stressed, "I know I have been unbelievably selfish and I didn't see how it will affect others until…it was too I am so very sorry."
I was avoiding Jake's gaze, but I chose to look at him this time. He had..such a earnest expression on his face. His eyes were teared up with furrowed eyebrows. He was looking at me..pleading me to forgive him and accept his apology.
I sighed, "I accept your apology, Jake..It'll take much more for me to move past what you have done Jake, but I..appreciate that you finally show your face to me."
Jake looked relieved and he finally smile for the first time that I have seen in a long time. Jake said, "I can't tell you exactly what we are planning to do, but they are planning to flee very soon."
It confirmed to me that they are waiting for Bella to turn before fleeing, so I nodded. Jake turned his head as if he was listening to someone. I saw him wince, and he said, "I can't say anything more, but I promise, things will go back how it supposed to be."
I looked at him with sad eyes. I said doubtful, "can it really go back to how it used to be?"
Jake glanced back at me, and he looked taken back as if he wasn't sure how to respond to what I just said.
I asked softly, "what about you, Jake? What will happen to you?"
His shoulder sagged and he looked away with a contemplated expression on his face. He said softly, "I..don't know."
He got up and before he left out the door, he said, "but..what you told Seth..I'll put it into consideration."
Maybe there is some hope after all.
X
The next day, I was instructed by Carlisle to not come downstairs for the next few hours. There was commotion downstairs. I can hear Rosalie, Edward shouting each other with Carlisle shouting over them. Then, an hour later there was dead silence, and I heard faintly of a baby crying. I knew then that Renesmee was born.
Once I started hearing Bella's screaming downstairs, Seth immediately went inside my room and stayed next to me. The screaming lasted for the next three days. At first I was confused of why she was screaming, then I realized. She was turning into a vampire, but because she wasn't in a near-death state, she was conscious when she was turned. It was because she was dying when she was turned that her turning was quiet and because she didn't want to upset Edward. I think I remember in the novel that even though outwardly she was quiet, she was losing her mind in pain internally. Unlike in the books, she was literally screaming in pain.
I mostly stayed in my room while Seth would go down to get my meals. I didn't feel comfortable going downstairs with a distressed Edward pacing back and forth regarding Bella's transformation. I heard Renesmee crying toward the far corner of the house. Jasper would occasionally visit me and stay with me and Seth because our emotions weren't as intense like Bella and Edward downstairs. Jacob stayed with us, but he would mostly be to himself in the corner of the room. I surprised to see that Jacob slept on the ground, leaning against the door. I guess we found comfort with us, and he had rather stay with us instead of dealing all the drama downstairs. The only reason that I fell asleep was because Jasper induced me to sleep since I couldn't nap nor sleep with Bella screaming downstairs. On the third day, Bella became silent. She had finally stopped screaming. Alice came by and notified me and Seth that she will wake up soon.
So now we simply wait.
Author's Note:
Imma focus on this story for a little awhile before returning to my third story. This was hard to push out, but I hope y'all enjoy it.
