Chapter 87(orphan)

Chaos Champion of Slaanesh Wendy Sevenson stood nervously in the frigate teleportarium with her husband Adolf, getting ready to meet his parents.

Wendy was dressed in mixed clothes, on her person she wore an extremely expensive conservative noblewoman's travelling robe, with the brand name boots an aristocrat woman would go for a long walk in. But over this she wore an extremely unassuming long hooded cloak.

Everything down to her jewellery and makeup style had been carefully tailored to make her pass for an imperial woman of noble birth who was trying, (and slightly failing), to keep an extremely low profile for social reasons.

Wendy knew her script backwards, and had fully mastered the accent and words she must use. She was as ready as she would ever be.

Wendy and Adolf each held a large wheeled brand name suitcase filled with various things, and their wedding rings had been coated in a removable engraving filler to hide all words except their first names.

"30 seconds till teleportation," TigerLily telepathically informed them.

Wendy and Adolf held hands and closed their eyes very tightly.

There was then a terrible flash of light through Wendy's clenched eyelids, blissful agony, a swirl of motion change to match the planet's surface motion, and then dizzying stillness!

Wendy and Adolf both staggered over in a DISGUSTING alleyway, too dizzy to stand yet after teleportation into a different frame of motion! They were not space marines and got frightfully dizzy from "deep striking" like this.

Wendy and Adolf just sat in the reeking alley for a while, regaining their balance, and Wendy attempted to look around.

Wendy immediately squinted half blind, this hive city was lit like a NORMAL human settlement would be, FAR too bright for her Night Lord descendant eyes!

"Sunglasses!" Wendy hissed to Adolf in her memorised accent, gesturing blindly at her suitcase!

For a terrible long minute of blindness she couldn't see a thing as Adolf rummaged around in the suitcase, and then she sighed in relief as extremely dark sunglasses shielded her eyes from the terrible light.

Wendy and Adolf made sure everything was in the suitcase before closing it, and then decided they were recovered enough to stand up now.

Wendy wanted to look around, but TigerLily had warned her to keep her head down until reaching Adolf's parents.

Wendy had no idea where she was in this unfamiliar place, and was completely dependent on Adolf to guide her. They walked quickly, pulling their extremely heavy suitcases behind them, walking over extremely filthy pavements that seemed to be thinly coated in some sort of industrial ash.

The air in this place was not at all fresh, it stank terribly of industrial fumes and floating ash, almost like living in a chimney or something! The air was very clearly "unclean", utterly filthy with floating particulate matter!

Decomposing trash lay in piles partially buried under the ever present ash, the buildings had thick piles of ash on every hard to reach place, and it was obvious that only professional street sweepers were keeping the pavements from being completely buried under the stuff!

Wendy felt filthy just breathing this air, the air was like pure ash-dust!

The wheels of their suitcases left trails in the ashes, as did their footprints, but the ashes "rained" down so fast that the tracks were quickly lost in the stuff.

They encountered only a few people, all of them looking slightly malnourished from obvious recent food rationing. The people all gazed at Wendy as they passed, noticing her extreme beauty and large breasts even through her cloak.

No man lingered to gawk at her, looking nervously at her burly and well fed obvious lover Adolf, but a few women gave her a lengthy look over. Wendy simply ignored them and walked on.

Adolf navigated the ashy maze of tall buildings with ease, and led her past factories spewing out ash, past transport hubs choked with overloaded cargo vehicles, past towering ashy hab buildings.

The entire "sky" above them was just a thick ceramite dome studded with grimy electric lights, like the average imperial hive the city was composed of a massive honeycomb of layers of side by side domes, domes stacked on top of domes, endlessly repeated, with each massive dome filled to bursting with buildings! It was poorly ventilated and just utterly filthy! How could billions live like this?

Without warning Adolf directed her into one of the towering hab buildings, a decrepit ashy giant block of flats that didn't look pretty, just ugly and filthy and solid, a place meant to house poor people.

The building had no elevator, forcing them to carry their suitcases up 11 floors of dusty ashy stairs. The suitcase wasn't heavy to Wendy's daemon strength, but she still had to PRETEND that it was! So slow!

Adolf then proudly led Wendy along an ash swept hallway not fit for a rat to sleep in, and came to a halt at a scratched and worn looking old door.

Adolf paused for a moment and then knocked.

For a while there was nothing, and then some sounds began to stir inside the flat.

"Who is it?," a middle aged man's voice asked in the same accent as Adolf.

"Dad it's me Adolf, let me inside," Adolf replied.

The door suddenly flung open and a middle aged man with grey hair hurled himself at Adolf, wrapping him in a frantic tight hug!

"You're ALIVE! We thought you DIED!" The man exclaimed emotionally.

"ADOLF!?" A woman's voice exclaimed from inside, and a moment later a hysterically emotional middle aged woman was hugging him and sobbing!

Wendy was alarmed as this emotional scene continued, so loud the neighbours came to investigate!

"ADOLF?!" Neighbours exclaimed in utter shock, and the emotional scene just got bigger and bigger!

"I'm FINE everyone! Just a mix up in the death notification paperwork, damn incompetent bureaucrats! I am absolutely fine!" Adolf reassured everyone.

"It was just a paperwork mixup?, oh thank the EMPEROR for that! Those bureaucrats told us you DIED! We even had a funeral for you!" Adolf's father exclaimed in obvious emotion.

"I warned you when I signed up not to trust the paperwork, honestly the Administratum is an absolute joke, always making blunders like this! They misplaced all my letters to you, Emperor only knows where they sent them instead, probably to the other side of the galaxy or something!" Adolf flawlessly repeated his script.

The neighbours were all relaxing now, loudly complaining about administrative errors and putting the whole thing down to a paperwork error. Given the legendary incompetence of the Adeptus Administratum, it was apparently easy enough for any Imperial citizen to believe that this could actually happen.

The crowd of neighbours calmed down Adolf's weeping mother, and they took notice of Wendy...

"Who is THIS?," a man asked in astonishment at Wendy's beauty.

"My wife..." Adolf replied quietly.

This generated an explosive reaction.

"I came here to introduce my new wife to my parents for the first time, it's not my fault you all thought I was dead," Adolf explained defensively.

Random neighbours immediately introduced themselves so fast that Wendy couldn't follow, and asked her her name.

"Wendy..." Wendy said in a flawless aristocratic accent.

The crowd erupted yet again at her accent and demanded an explanation.

"We eloped in secret, her family doesn't know yet, we would like to keep it that way, so for the Throne's sake don't tell the whole world! We need to keep this quiet until she can find the right time and way to tell her father," Adolf explained.

The neighbours all murmured at this but seemed to accept this explanation at least for the moment.

"This day has been a miracle, first cabbages appear out of nowhere, and then Adolf returns from the dead with a beautiful wife, the Emperor is at work this day!" A man said piously.

"I think that one of the cargo ships up in orbit was destroyed by the Orks, I think they teleported down their entire cargo so the Orks couldn't get it," Adolf said following the script flawlessly.

The people all murmured gravely at this, saying that they had heard similar rumours about the origin of the cabbages.

"It's a mess up there in orbit, the ship we arrived on was very lucky to make it past the Ork blockade. I saw ships exploding in the Imperial Navy fleet, Ork ships too. Never seen anything like it," Adolf said flawlessly.

"Yes, things have been very bad of late. The Orks have been cutting off our supply ships trying to starve us. We are on quarter food rations just to survive, until those cabbages came we thought we would die," a man told them.

"I had feared as much, I am just glad that everyone is still ok," Adolf replied seriously.

"I am sorry to ask, but could I perhaps use a bathroom to powder my nose?," Wendy asked aristocratically, following the script perfectly.

"Powder your nose?, Oh you need to pee! Sorry, of course come in come in, don't let me keep you standing out here all day. The toilet is right over here," Adolf's father exclaimed, leading her inside to the bathroom door.

Wendy thanked him charmingly and entered with her suitcase, closing the door behind her.

The bathroom was small and crammed in the extreme, nothing but a toilet, small shower, and tiny sink and mirror all squeezed into a space two meters by one meter! How could ANYONE live like this?!

The "bathroom" was at least clean, and Wendy daintily did a wee, before then making sure she was clean and presentable in the mirror.

Wendy flushed the toilet, which made sounds of plumbing in dire need of professional maintenance, and daintily exited the tiny bathroom.

Wendy found Adolf and his family sitting inside a tiny little sitting room, too small for the neighbours, who had thankfully returned to their own homes for the moment.

Adolf's father ushered her to sit down on a cheap and tiny bench chair beside Adolf, and Wendy timidly sat down as instructed.

Adolf's mother was still in an emotional state, sitting on a little stool next to him and holding his arm, sobbing slightly with joy. Adolf's father was in a somewhat more composed state and fussed over Wendy with offers of water to drink.

Wendy hesitantly accepted a cup of water, and took a hesitant sip. She tasted only completely distilled water, perfectly safe and clean.

"Ok, mum and dad, let me introduce my wife, Lady Wendy Chesterton..." Adolf began proudly.

"CHESTERTON!? Of "THEE" Chestertons!" Adolf's father exclaimed in shock.

"Yes... My uncle is Lord Charles Chesterton, of the Chesterton Shipping Company..." Wendy replied shyly.

Even Adolf's mother gasped at this admission.

"But but but, HOW did you even meet?!" Adolf's father asked in shock.

"Adolf works on one of my family's ships, I met him randomly, in a deck corridor I think. We are not entirely sure exactly when we met the first time," Wendy explained shyly in her noble accent.

"Yeah, no idea exactly when we first met, known each other as acquaintances for years." Adolf added.

"Yes... We have known each other for a long time, we got on a first name basis and became familiar with each other... Adolf then courted me... He was quite persistent until I finally accepted his courtship..." Wendy said very shyly.

"But eloping?, I understand having a secret relationship, but getting MARRIED without telling anyone?, that's a rather BOLD move isn't it?," Adolf's father pressed carefully.

"I got Wendy pregnant..." Adolf said awkwardly.

Adolf's parents both went deathly silent for a moment at this, apparently overwhelmed by so much news all at once.

"Ah... I see..." Adolf's father said tactfully.

"My family would disown me completely if I had a child out of wedlock, and I of course don't want to abort my poor little baby," Wendy gently explained.

"Well, at least you took responsibility and married her Adolf." Adolf's father allowed gruffly.

"Of course I did! The moment I found out she was pregnant I proposed! I didn't even hesitate," Adolf defended himself.

"Well, you have gotten yourself into quite a predicament. What the heck were you thinking knocking up a noblewoman!" Adolf's father chastised.

"It was an accident! We didn't plan to get pregnant," Adolf said defensively.

"Well that much is obvious. You are in terrible danger now! Her father might have you KILLED for this you bloody fool!" Adolf's father shouted at him.

"That's partially why she hasn't told him yet," Adolf defended.

Adolf's father hesitantly patted Wendy's belly through her partially open cloak, feeling for a baby.

"Hmm, are you SURE she is definitely pregnant?, I can't feel anything," Adolf's father pressed.

"My private personal physician Dr Liling Wong has run exhaustive tests, I am very definitely pregnant. It's a boy by the way. Genetic scans showed beyond any doubt that Adolf is the father," Wendy said apologetically.

"Well I still want to buy a pregnancy test thing just to be sure," Adolf's father insisted.

"FATHER!" Adolf protested.

"Is that expensive?, I don't want to put you out Mr and Mrs Lincoln. Will this be enough to cover the pregnancy test?," Wendy said on cue, pulling out a quarter kilo pure gold ingot from a pocket inside her cloak, placing the ingot on a small metal beverage table in front of the chairs.

The shocked reaction was completely predictable, the two middle aged poor people gasped and spluttered at this casual display of such extreme wealth.

"Put that away Wendy! Stop embarrassing yourself. Your personal doctor is a million times more accurate than some cheap and nasty 1 credit pee stick." Adolf said the script, (TigerLily had been extremely thorough in preparing them with lines to say).

Adolf's father had gone (temporarily) silent now, and just gaped at Wendy as she tucked the gold back away inside her clothes.

"She really is a noble..." Adolf's mother said in wonder.

"Yes, with a doubtless even richer FURIOUS noble father who will have our son KILLED! This is a DISASTER!" Adolf's father exclaimed in obvious panic.

"Daddy won't kill my husband, he wouldn't do that and I won't let him anyway," Wendy insisted crossly.

"How will you stop him having it done in secret?, Assassins are known to use very subtle poisons, you would never even realise until it was too late," Adolf's father pressed fearfully.

"Father stop panicking! He doesn't even know about us yet," Adolf tried to reassure him.

"This is hardly the warm welcome I had been promised, I do not appreciate hearing my family being insulted! Maybe I should just leave!" Wendy said indignantly.

"Pay no mind to my husband dear girl, he is just getting worked up, he doesn't mean to insult you," Adolf's mother piped in reassuringly.

Wendy paused, deliberately looking uncertain.

"I, I, don't leave... We need to deal with this... I, I am sorry... This is all just so much to take at once. Please stay," Adolf's father implored her.

"Very well..." Wendy replied carefully.

"Oh, by the way, Wendy meet my parents, Herman and Eva Lincoln..." Adolf added, breaking an awkward pause...

***...

"So, I hear that you work in some sort of union, that makes lasguns?," Wendy asked Adolf's father Herman curiously about an hour later.

"Um, yes that's right, I am an office secretary in the "lasgun components manufacturing factory workers union", been working in the local sub branch office for my entire career," Herman replied proudly.

"Oh that is fortuitous, I am currently here on Temperis to negotiate a trade deal for ten billion lasguns. I fear that I know precious little about the local lasgun market, perhaps you could explain it to me?," Wendy asked hopefully.

Herman whistled in wonder at the sheer size of the order size.

"Is it true that the local lasguns really cost 30000 credits each?," Wendy asked as rehearsed.

"Wait WHAT?! Who the heck told you THAT?, You are being MASSIVELY ripped off!" Herman exclaimed in shock.

"Well that's the price I was offered by the local nobles..." Wendy began.

"Why those GREEDY pricks! Those lasguns cost a few hundred credits tops!" Herman exclaimed indignantly.

"REALLY?, But every local noble dealer I talked to told me the same price," Wendy insisted hesitantly.

"Oh those nobles make me SO mad! Ripping off young off-world women just to make a profit! No, I know some people who could get you lasguns MUCH cheaper. I don't know about 10 BILLION lasguns, but I can definitely get you many thousands if you pay cash," Herman offered chivalrously.

Wendy gasped with genuine joy and spontaneously hugged him.

"Oh father-in-law! YES that would be absolutely spiffing! Please do, you will save my father an absolute fortune!" Wendy gushed happily, in her flawless aristocratic accent.

Herman was surprised by her hug but patted her back affectionately and seemed touched by the gesture.

"Hey, you are family now, wouldn't be right if I didn't help you. But why do you need so many weapons, who is buying them at the other end?," Herman asked curiously.

"Well I don't know if you have ever heard of the Eldar xenos race, but there is currently a massive invasion on one of their wicked inhuman hive cities. The heroes of humanity are suffering terrible weapons shortages and might lose the war without more lasguns," Wendy began.

Herman shuddered at the mention of these aliens and nodded gravely in understanding.

"Billions of men have very few working weapons, the Departmento Munitorum had a paperwork error and deployed them without enough weapons. The last I heard, the men were reduced to using stub pistols and even just knives! My family has been contracted to correct this supply problem," Wendy explained.

"By the Golden Throne! Those bureaucrats really have made a complete disaster this time! If it is to help the fighting men of the Imperial Guard against foul xenos, then it's only patriotic that I help you out," Herman said sombrely.

"I need as many as possible as quickly as possible, time is of the essence I am afraid. I do have a ship, up in orbit, it has a rather advanced teleportarium. The weapons can be teleported directly onboard if I rented a warehouse big enough for our tech priests to set up one of their sacred machines," Wendy suggested with just the right tone of voice.

"Hmm, well that is actually a good idea, otherwise the nobles will force you to buy from them instead. I will ask around the union to find out if there are any warehouses up for rent." Herman agreed.

"Father-in-law, you have just saved my life," Wendy thanked him profusely.

"Ah well, just doing what's right," Herman affectionately brushed off the praise modestly.

"I will look into these things first thing tomorrow when I go to work, I will hopefully have a meeting set up by the end of the day. Hopefully within the day after tomorrow you will have your first lasguns." Herman reassured her.

"I will need a... Small deposit, to show the black marketeers I am serious. How much cash do you have on hand?," Herman pressed delicately.

Wendy flinched with a start, and began pulling out gold ingots from her clothes, placing them on the small table in front of her. Wendy then opened up her suitcase and pulled out several cabbages and yet more gold ingots, (one ingot with a lacy G string caught on it).

Wendy hissed in a facsimile of embarrassment, and quickly tucked away the G string back in her suitcase.

Herman and Eva shifted embarrassedly at the G string incident, but politely didn't comment on the slutty undergarment.

"Is this enough?," Wendy asked, referring to the over ten kilograms worth of gold on the table.

"Heck yes! But don't you have any cash?," Herman replied.

"No, I visit so many different places with different currencies that cash in local currencies becomes inconvenient." Wendy explained apologetically.

"I see... Well I had better take you to a pawnbroker right now and get this gold exchanged for cash," Herman said, standing up.

Adolf got up too and gathered the gold into a sturdy carry bag, arming himself with a laspistol from his suitcase in the process.

Herman went into another room briefly and then returned holding an extremely cheap looking stub pistol.

"Do I need a weapon?," Wendy asked, pulling out a deliberately smaller caliber version of a bolt pistol from a hidden holster, something that the average woman could actually wield without issues.

"Is that a bolt pistol?, By the Emperor what a beautiful weapon! Keep this exquisite weapon hidden girl, muggers might kill you for it," Herman warned her.

Wendy nodded nervously and holstered the weapon out of view once more.

"Eva we won't be long. The two of you come with me," Herman announced and led them back out the front door.

The trio walked in silence as they exited the building out into the ash choked streets, it was apparently now evening here, and the overhead lights had dimmed to a faint glow to simulate nighttime but still let people see outside.

They walked quickly, staying tightly huddled together, and trudged through the thin layers of soft ash with barely a sound.

Wendy was totally lost as they meandered through a crazy maze of buildings, the street layout obviously very poorly planned, just endless hab blocks, office buildings, factories and storage depots.

The factories were clearly the cause of all the ash, with innumerable chimneys endlessly belching out massive plumes of the stuff!

"Why is there so much ash coming out of those chimneys?," Wendy asked horrified.

"Why wouldn't there be?, That's just what chimneys do," Herman replied adamantly.

"But why not have the chimneys go outside the hive, through some sort of huge centralised chimney network?," Wendy pressed.

"Um, that doesn't sound very practical. You would have to do a massive renovation project to make something like that, would be WAY too expensive to ever justify something so fanciful!" Herman gently mansplained to her.

"Well... Couldn't the factories at least filter out all the chimney ash so it doesn't carpet everything like this?," Wendy asked carefully.

"That would put huge numbers of people out of work. The professional ash sweeping sector employs a lot of people, you can't just put them out of work like that," Herman explained as though this was common sense.

Wendy personally thought that not breathing in floating ash all the time was preferable to keeping some jobs, but if the locals all wanted to keep it this way then who was she to complain?

Wendy tried her best not to breathe in ashes as she walked, and got concerned about what ELSE might be being vented out those chimneys!

"What are the carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide levels like?, Are any of these chimney fumes toxic?," Wendy asked nervously.

"Carbon what?, I don't know what those things are," Herman asked in confusion.

Wendy groaned and tried to breathe as little as possible of these ashy fumes!

The three came to a grimy old solid concrete building, a vast sturdy structure, many many stories tall, with an open arcade corridor going right through the middle of the ground floor.

Herman led them down the arcade, and Wendy noticed a massive air shaft above the arcade, running the entire length of the building with open floors with railings around each level the shaft cut through, and the occasional walking bridge spanning the gap.

Along the arcade and every level above it, Wendy saw the entrances to little shops and other commercial small businesses, with filthy glass display windows covered by protective rusty iron bars to deter burglary. This building was some sort of "poor person" shopping mall.

The businesses were mostly still open, but the number of customers at this hour was quite low. The product displays on offer were quite limited, likely due to the war cutting off fresh supplies, and all in all this local economy didn't seem to be doing too well at the moment.

Malnourished men in groups eyed Wendy hungrily from dark alcoves, seeing her as obviously rich by her shoes alone, but they shied away at the sight of the pistols Adolf and Herman openly carried, mistaking the two men for highly dangerous armed professional bodyguards.

Herman led the trio into a slightly swept clean staircase, and they climbed up to the third floor, coming out on a railed walkway beside the long air shaft.

They passed by a range of small businesses, including a brothel, two money lenders, an accountant who seemed to specialise in taxes, and finally came to a large pawnshop whose doorway was guarded by two security guards armed with lasguns.

The pawnshop advertised "gold for cash", and seemed to especially specialise in buying and selling precious metals by the look of the displays behind obviously armoured glass.

The two guards eyed Wendy with interest, seeing instantly that she looked like a noblewoman trying unsuccessfully to look poor, and one of them opened the door for her with a greedy smile.

The trio entered into a small security foyer at the front of the pawnshop and removed their cloaks, handing over their weapons immediately to an entire squad of armed security guards just inside the door, leaving both their guns and their cloaks in the care of the guards.

Wendy was now dressed only in her extremely rich noblewoman brand name clothes, without cloak to hide her obvious wealth, and the guards all became extremely respectful to her with greed written on their faces.

Wendy and her companions were ushered out of the security foyer and into the shop proper, seeing a great plethora of pawned items as well as various gold jewellery behind armoured glass.

The pawnshop proprietor took one look at Wendy's clothing and appearance, and smiled delightedly to see such an obviously rich customer.

"Ah noblewoman, welcome to my shop! Come in come in, how can I be of assistance," the middle aged male proprietor gushed enthusiastically.

"I want to exchange some gold for cash," Wendy explained in her flawlessly spoken aristocratic accent.

The proprietor beamed with happiness just at the sound of her accent alone, and ushered her to a counter to show him the gold she wanted to sell.

Adolf placed the carry bag on the countertop and cautiously lifted out all of the over ten kilograms worth of purified 24 carat gold.

The pawnshop proprietor weighed the gold very precisely, and then placed the ingots one by one inside an ornate looking bench top scanning device.

"Emperor! 100 percent pure!" The proprietor said in wonder.

"How much does she get for this?," Herman asked firmly.

"More money then I currently have on site. I will have to pop out to a money lender just to get enough cash," The proprietor replied.

"How much EXACTLY!" Herman pressed.

"I would have to work it out on paper for a precise sum but definitely over 400 thousand credits," the proprietor estimated.

Wendy did a quick calculation in her head.

"So that's 40 million credits per ton?, Will you be able to exchange three tons of gold or should I try someone else?," Wendy asked carefully.

The proprietor whistled in deep respect for this amount.

"Might I enquire as to your name milady?," the proprietor asked expectantly.

"Lady Wendy..." Wendy said very hesitantly.

"Lady Wendy "who"?," the proprietor pressed.

"...Chesterton..."

"Ah, a great noble family the Chesterton's, very much an honour to meet so distinguished a noblewoman in my humble little shop. I think that I could definitely find the cash if you brought in three tons of gold," the proprietor said delightedly.

"It goes without saying that our business transaction shall remain... Confidential," Herman pressed.

The proprietor held out his palm expectantly.

Wendy knew a bribe request when she saw one, and reluctantly placed a quarter kilogram ingot in the man's palm as a bribe. The man pocketed it quick as blinking and nodded in agreement.

"You were never here and I never met you. Now if you will excuse me I will just duck out to borrow some money to buy your gold," the proprietor said delightedly.

The man ducked outside and Wendy explored the items on display for sale in the shop.

Most of it was junk, the personal belongings of poor people like clothes and pots and pans and other such stuff. More interesting was a battered pair of handcuffs with a key...

Wendy held up the handcuffs for Adolf to see and grinned mischievously. Herman noticed...

"I am beginning to see how you two got into this situation," Herman said quietly.

Wendy shyly put the handcuffs and key on the countertop to buy...

Herman shook his head softly and said, "well you ARE married I guess"...

Wendy was shocked by how open minded Herman was and gazed at Adolf crossly for making him sound so conservative. Adolf subtly shook his head to tell her to calm down.

"Look I ain't prying, it is already taken for granted that you have sex. I won't tell Eva about the handcuffs," Herman soothed awkwardly.

Adolf and Wendy awkwardly nodded in gratitude and continued exploring together to break the tension.

Wendy looked at second hand underwear, but none of the bras were even close to her cup size, and the second hand panties were disgusting by their mere thought!

Wendy walked through rows of shelves, always under the watchful eye of security guards, and came to a section full of various guns without any ammunition, HUNDREDS of them!

Wendy excitedly requested to buy every single firearm in the entire shop, and two of the security guards began carrying over all the guns to the counter.

"What are you doing?, We can't carry all of this with us! And I thought you wanted lasguns, not crap like this sawn off shotgun!" Herman protested.

"I need as many weapons as possible as quickly as possible, even a shotgun is better than nothing," Wendy explained.

"Well then you will need to buy some ammo too," Herman chided and gestured for the security guards to bring over all of the pawned ammo as well.

The proprietor returned soon after, carrying a huge sack full of cash, and he proceeded to feed it into a money counting machine.

The proprietor got out a calculator machine and a pencil and paper, and proceeded to work out the exact cash value of all the gold, (not including his earlier bribe).

"I want to buy all of these things, but I can't carry them all home," Wendy explained apologetically.

"That's fine, I will print you a receipt and you can pick up your purchases any time. I will deduct the price of these items from the cash I give you for the gold," the proprietor encouraged her.

The proprietor processed all of the transactions, and handed her a massive receipt and a huge pile of cash counted by the money counting machine.

Adolf stuffed all the cash in the carry bag, as well as as many guns and ammo as he could comfortably carry in the bag without any barrels poking out. Mostly stub pistols and short sawn off shotguns.

Wendy shyly put the handcuffs and key in her pocket, ignoring the amused look she received from every man in the room at the sight of this.

"Kinky girl..." a security guard murmured very softly.

Wendy was thrilled as she retrieved her cloak and gun, and walked away happily with Herman and Adolf with the huge pile of local cash.

***...

Herman Lincoln and his wife Eva lay awkwardly in bed listening to their new daughter-in-law Wendy's VERY loud sex noises in the other room!

"Oh! Oh YES! Oh YES! MORE!" Wendy's aristocratically accented voice moaned brazenly!

"No WONDER they got pregnant!" Eva whispered in dismay.

Herman could only nod, he had never heard anything like this.

"(Squealing laughter), Adolf that TICKLES! It TICKLES! (Moaning), oh, oh yes!"

Herman blushed with embarrassment.

"NO NOT THE ARMPITS! (Hysterical shrill laughter), AH! I am in handcuffs! Domestic tickling! Domestic TICKLING! (Very loud laughter continues)"

"The neighbours might here this!" Eva hissed frantically.

"Oh ADOLF! FUCK me! Fuck me harder! Oh YES!"

Herman covered his face with his hands, praying desperately that the neighbours wouldn't hear this deafening racket!

"Oh! Cum on my tits! Cum all over my tits!"

Herman and Eva both shuddered violently at the mere mental image this conjured!

"Oh husband that was fantastic!" Wendy loudly exclaimed.

Herman and Eva sighed with relief. They were finally finished.

"Your turn in the handcuffs husband! I'm gonna punish you you naughty boy! I'm going to get you back for tickling me like that!" Wendy's aristocratically accented voice said with surprising dominance.

"Yes Mistress Wendy," Adolf's voice replied!

"(Loud sounds of spanking)!"

"This is EMBARRASSING!" Eva exclaimed mortified.

"(Manly laughter), Ah! That TICKLES! No not THERE! (Howling laughter)!"

"That's what you get for tickling me first!" Wendy's voice taunted mischievously.

"Herman do something! Stop this!" Eva insisted him.

"Why?, He DID tickle her first, I think he earned this," Herman joked feebly, trying to dispel this terrible tension with humour.

"(Adolf's frantic laughter continues)"

"This isn't a joke! What if she hurts him?," Eva insisted.

"Oh come on, how is that tiny little woman going to hurt Adolf?, Not unless she somehow tickles him to death," Herman dismissed.

"I want you to put a stop to it Herman!" Eva insisted.

"You can't be SERIOUS! I am not going in that room when they're having SEX!" Herman protested.

"Oh Wendy! Oh Wendy! Yes! Suck my cock! Just like that! Oh yes!" Adolf loudly moaned.

"No fucking way I am going in there, not for any money! That would be too embarrassing," Herman flatly refused.

"She is leading him astray, just LISTEN to them!" Eva hissed at him.

"They are newlyweds, remember how randy WE were after we first got married," Herman dismissed.

"But they are using handcuffs and he called her "Mistress"! That's not normal!" Eva insisted.

"It's not all THAT unheard of for young couples to experiment with kinky sex, remember that time with Mr and Mrs Taft?," Herman reminded her.

"Oh Adolf! Oh Adolf! I love you so much!" Wendy's voice loudly gasped.

"They seem fine to me, just too loud," Herman insisted.

"Oh Wendy I'm cumming, I'm cumming! Oh FUCK!" Adolf bellowed loudly.

The entire hab block suddenly rumbled with jocular applause!

Neighbours were loudly laughing and cheering humorously through the walls!

"What's that?, Did someone hear us?," Wendy asked loudly in dismay.

The building then echoed with jocular imitations of Wendy's loud sex noises!

Herman and Eva buried their faces behind their hands and blushed with terrible embarrassment!

***...