#105: Ikea Trip [Modern AU]

Prompted By: KawaiiEyeliner

In a dreary parking lot on a grim evening in April, Azula Shinohai stares at her uneasy girlfriend. Ty Lee keeps subtly nodding towards the humongous store, but is too afraid to ask why Azula has yet to take a step.

After clearing her throat, Azula explains, "You said you would carry me on your shoulders if I agreed to accompany you. I am waiting."

"Okay," promptly agrees Ty Lee, and, after a moment of motion and adjustment, Azula suppresses a smile as she sits on the shoulders of her surprisingly strong girlfriend. "And they'll look at us," gushes Ty Lee as she walks, "and they'll think we're having the best day ever! And that we're so romantic! And so cute together! We're so cute together!"

Azula does not say a word as Ty Lee sets her down at the brightly illuminated entrance.

"This store is hideous. The look is far too blocky, it is not regal enough, and the blue should be far more cerulean," Azula purrs, looking it up and down. "The only attractive blue is the blue of exceptionally hot flames. And yellow is hideous."

"I think it's yellow and blue because those colors make people shop maybe, my love, if I'm not wrong," Ty Lee says, batting her eyelashes and beaming.

"You are wrong. They are the colors of the Swedish flag," Azula says, sighing, half-swallowing her pride and walking into the Ikea with Ty Lee beside her.

Azula hates this place. Ty Lee loves anywhere where a person can make purchases. They both have recently moved in and out of Azula's father's home. Now, they both must fill a gigantic Beverly Hills mansion with more than merely their joint possessions. It required a trip to a furniture store.

Azula suspects Ty Lee merely wants to test their relationship but does not have the guts to say it. She fears a poor outcome, fears losing Azula's interest. That knowledge does help Azula Shinohai cope with this nightmare.

It takes only moments for Azula to begin suffocating. She despises this.

"We are leaving," orders Azula, but Ty Lee's attractive doe eyes widen into full moon circles, glittering with heartbroken tears. Azula huffs. "Fine. We may stay for a time I find moderately tolerable. Ugh."

"You wuv me." Ty Lee hops up and down happily.

"I do not wuv the screaming children who have such poor supervision," Azula snarls through her teeth, looking around at the snot-nosed brats. "You owe me. You will suffer through whatever task pleases me to torment you with."

"I will. I always will, my love," Ty Lee croons.

Azula hisses, "I will make you eat spiderwebs."

And, Ty Lee, to her surprise, just chimes, "Okay!"

"I have a list of what we need to live in our new home I purchased. We will buy no more than that unless you are particularly well behaved. Do not take cues from these horrible children everywhere," Azula says, withdrawing the neatly folded list from her pocket.

"But children are so sweet. I can't wait until we have children." Ty Lee smiles.

Azula resists destroying her dreams with a few words. She just wants to get this over with.

Ty Lee tenderly takes Azula's hand and Azula walks along with her.

"I was not socialized to be around this many people who are not hanging on my every word or forced to obey my commands," Azula says, eyeing the countless other customers with disdain.

Ty Lee stops much too early. This will be a long night.

"Look at this!" Ty Lee gleefully exclaims. "Look at that Söderhamn!"

"The-the what?" Azula snarls. Ty Lee points at an armchair. "I refuse to purchase something that mocks me with an impossible to pronounce name. I refuse to support this store naming anything with anti-nationalist letters, like that O with two dots over it. Or anything with too many consonants together. We shall find something else." Azula points to a suitable seat. "Stockholm. Far better. I respect the name of a city that once had more than one powerful regime."

"Oooo, it comes in pink!" Ty Lee's eyes light up.

"We also will purchase no more than two items in pink," Azula states.

"Okay, okay. How about this one?" Ty Lee begs.

She looks about to beg on her knees, and so Azula takes pity on her. "Fine. That is one out of two, mind you. Now, off to kitchen tables."

Azula hates how much she and Ty Lee do not stand out among the other customers. Most are couples and invariably an excited feminine partner leads the way with an ecstatic expression while the more cynical partner who likely controls the money trails behind. Too many of them are pregnant and Azula loathes that Ty Lee will get ideas about that.

And everyone carries a hideous yellow bag that progressively fills to abhorrent points.

Azula's family did not become so wealthy for buying pointless trinkets at Ikea.

She pretends to test one of the beds to give her feet a break. This place challenges even such a spectacular athlete as herself.

"You love it here, don't you, Ty Lee?" Azula snaps, her patience gone.

"I love it everywhere, my love," Ty Lee croons. That is true. She then sits beside Azula. "I also love that we're building a home together. You're gonna come home to me every day and I'm gonna cook dinner and stuff and I'm gonna kiss you and we'll watch movies together every night and we'll fall asleep beside each other after having amazing sex."

"Yes. That is true." Pause. "As I say, it was not the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. It was our past lives before they entered our current bodies having such spectacular sex that the Earth was consumed by a destructive fire of power."

"Yes!" Ty Lee could not be more enthusiastic about that probable truth.

Azula sighs and makes a grand show of indulging her girlfriend. "Now, let us continue this ultimate test of a relationship."

"I hate to argue with you, my love," says Ty Lee, "but the ultimate test of a relationship is when we go home and have to assemble the stuff we buy."

Azula blanches.


A/N: I try to keep this story very canon, but I get many AU prompts and I'm curious about if I should do more of them. I would lean towards doing canon for every prompt that is not explicitly AU, but I'm curious about if anyone has interest in more AU oneshots. Now that this story is infinite, I have plenty of room for some more variations than when I was only planning on 100 chapters. Anyway, thank you for reading this far and I hope you're enjoying the show.