AN- welp, the adventures of our hapless Defintiely!Not!Harem!Protagonist continues.

Chapter 11

"You have the potential to be a very scary man." Noted Boudica, as she sipped softly at her cup of Earl Grey tea.

"That I can." I agreed pleasantly, enjoying my own cup of nostalgia. Every other Servant was sat at the table as well, though there seemed to be a clear divide between the kinds of drinks enjoyed. Coffee wasn't on the menu though. Sorry Shade- its swill, and were I to need caffeine, Dr Pepper serves me well.

"Like… wow." Medea's eyes had a mixture of surprise and awe. "Normally you act really nice and polite, or otherwise you're boring and grumpy, but that?"

"Even I, who was on the receiving end, can only offer my compliments." Mata Hari was still shaken from the experience that had happened not so long ago. Her smile was stretched, there was a slight tremble in her hands, and her eyes wearily went to me every few second- if only to check we were still on opposite sides of the table. "When you decide to be asserting, you are surprisingly… attractive."

A loud thud- and Assassin flinched, because a knife was pinned between her fingers- avoiding her by mere inches.

"Mou- I missed." Berserker complained grimly. She seemed truly sad at this prospect, but it wasn't her fault that her knives kept missing the mark whenever she tried to stab someone at the table- it was mine, and the Command I issued.

"Huh. That 'wasted' Command Seal might actually come in quite handy. I can't even count how many times she's tried to stab Mata Hari in this conversation alone. Hell, a lot of my Servants are quite flimsy, and are just as liable to be killed if a Yandere shanks them in their sleep as any other."

Yeah- Yanderes made Bears seem like Good News by comparison.

Suffice to say, I really wanted a male Servant (And I still think Lily doesn't count).

"Firstly, I am normally nice." I admitted. "Manners cost nothing, and I much prefer to be nice to someone than horrible. Unless I'm stressed as fuck, nice really is my default position. Being mean spirited just feels like too much work sometimes, and I'm happier when the people around me are happier. Admittedly I have a cynical side a mile wide and can be surprisingly grumpy to those I'm close to, but even so. The point is, I can be assertive, but I just normally prefer to go with the flow."

"There is assertive and there was that." Again, Medea brought attention back to the 'lesson' I gave my Assassin for needless trolling and stirring of trouble. "Like, I have the full memories of the Witch of Betrayal, and I can guarantee that the older me would give you her compliments for that display and a pat on the back before she stabbed you in it."

Now wasn't that just a lovely mental image to have.

"Oh yes, very assertive." Assassin said with a forlorn sigh of desire, and a pretty blush. "It is rare for me to be treated like that, but I must admit that when compared to poetry and heartfelt cries of passion, that was quite… refreshing."

"Nope. Just nope. Nopenopenopenope. This is not happening, and if I shut my eyes and pretend that she isn't speaking, then that means the words were never said."

"Can we move on from our Master's… talents." Lily finally interjected. "For while he may be rather impressive, I do feel that we should leave that topic behind us."

And once again, Lily bails me the fuck out. I swear that when this War is over, I'm going to buy them the biggest box of chocolate I can buy off the internet, because they'll have damn well earned it for putting up with all our shit and somehow getting this herd of cats properly moving forwards.

"Another tactical meeting then? We've had quite a lot of those, haven't we?" I couldn't help but groan at the prospect. Admittedly they were very important, and without them it would be much harder to properly manage seven Servants, but even so… it still felt like I spent half my time in them, just chatting shit while outside all sorts of interesting things were likely happening.

"If you are tired of them, you may always use my lap as a pillow while we, you're Servants, handle everything." Boudica offered with a smile I couldn't tell was affectionate or more akin to the teasing of an elder sister.

"No lap pillows." Lily immediately disallowed it.

"Saber, mine Servant, when did you declare yourself the enemy of all fun?" I asked them in mock seriousness. "For do I not deserve a reward after all the shenanigans I've been put through? I'm sure I'll be able to join the Archer club of prematurely white hair at this rate. Surely a little lap pillow isn't much to ask for?"

"If you are truly asking, my love, I would happily allow you to use my own body however you desire. However you desire. No matter who would get in the way." Berserker said with a sort of womanly reluctance that really didn't hide the eagerness in her posture or eyes.

"… on second thoughts, I'll stay perfectly alert. Gentlemen, this is the War Room!"

"Mou~" Berserker's pout was truly adorable, but I would harden my heart. It was the only way we'd actually get anywhere.

"So. Strategy session. Anyone want to start?" Again, Lily to the rescue.

Assassin rose from her chair, and presented the report she had written with a flourish. "I would like to go first. I must take the chance to show off my skills, after all. And I am a master of reconnaissance, and have already set up a successful information network. Surely it would be useful to hear of my findings first, Master?"

"You seem surprisingly enthusiastic." Remarked Boudica.

"Of course. I feel I must repay my Master and show him that I… have changed." She announced. "Truly, I am a changed woman, who shall support him in whatever endeavour he pursues and help in whatever way I can."

"Wow. She's gotten really enthusiastic since she that happened." Medea muttered in confusion.

"Ah! A declaration of eternal support, almost akin to a marriage confession!" By now Berserker was writhing on the floor, uncaring of how undignified she looked. "An honest intent, and the skills to truly help my beloved Anchin! Oh, I am so jealous, for all I can offer him is my ability as a wife and my body itself!"

"Let's… just… ignore that." I said, though it was hard to ignore the fuming woman, who even now was trying to pick up the knife I could swear that I had taken from her already, only to drop it again every time she even got so much as close to pointing it at the woman that made my heartbeat soar.

Though surprisingly, I think I was getting used to her. My stuttering happened far less, my mind drifted to her less, and when it did my understanding of her many flaws and petty actions were able to blacken the perfect golden visage of her in my mind enough that I could accept that yes, she wasn't perfection made flesh in mortal body.

In truth, Mata Hari is a rather petty woman, who delights in poking fun at others and causing problems for only her own amusement. And no, I'm definitely not still annoyed with her over setting the Yandere off, don't be silly.

"So, what did you discover?" Lily asked intently.

"Well, I mostly focused on creating the necessary networks." She admitted. "A lot of the earlier pages are on the respective connections and informants I've found. I know the location of several Masters, and have even got the ears of several monks with a drinking problem who have spoken of a foreigner dwelling in the old Temple."

"We went there before, remember?" My Rider reminded us. "There was that samurai. I think we've confirmed a Master's presence, then."

"They'll be handy for later too." I noted. "Remember that the Blue Team will unite eventually. That Temple is easily defensible, is atop a Leyline, and has an excellent spiritual defence. They'd have to be fools not to take advantage of that. And ears in the temple might tell us when they get together." Though, mind you, you'd also have to be a fool to trust Older!Medea enough to stay there for a minute, let alone permanently.

"Speaking of teams, the airports are being watched." The spy pressed on. "I have asked to be alerted on any curious stories or passengers. Hopefully, that will come in handy to track the appearance of the Reds."

"Excellent work." I praised her.

"Hmph. She's not worthy of praise! Praise me Anchin!" Berserker cried, though we continued to ignore her. With that Command Seal I'd used, she was now more adorably inept in her attempts to murder the 'Love Rival' she perceived to be gaining my attention and affection, as opposed to genuinely scary.

"No. In all seriousness, you've done well." My words were honest, because it was true. She'd made a lot of progress in a short amount of time. Winning wars came down more to who and what you knew as opposed to just brute strength, so while we weren't going to be the strongest faction, I liked to think we'd be the most knowledgeable. With my meta knowledge, Assassin's Espionage ability, Saber's own talents as a spy plus Medea's support and scrying spells, we could certainly become a threat to the others if only due to how much we actually knew.

So long as we learned to pick our battles wisely, and chose the most opportune moments to strike, victory was assured- even if it wasn't the most honourable one. We were still working on that first part, however.

"Th-thanks." She replied, almost sheepishly. "I'm glad that a useless Assassin like me has managed to prove helpful in any case. I hope I can contribute more in the future. Well, I've been thinking of taking some risks, perhaps. My Noble Phantasm can be rather potent if we were to use it right."

"We'll consider that as an option." I reassured her. "Mind control, right? I feel kinda uncomfortable with using that, but it may become a necessity." Hello Caster of Blue- Rulebreaker, meet mind control!

"Suffice to say, that until then, my contacts will ensure that we are kept up to date."

"The army without the support of the population has a far harder time keeping their actions unknown." Quoted Lily wisely. "Someone always sees something…"

"And it's just a matter of making them talk." Mata Hari agreed. "Nobody can keep things hidden for long."

"Hidden… hidden… hidden for long… ahah!" Medea screamed her last exclamation. She didn't even take the time to explain what Assasin's words had caused her to realise- only got to her feet and turned to me with a dramatic pointing finger. "Of course! I can't believe we forgot!"

"Forgot?" I asked in confusion. "Forgot what?"

"Your Dark and Mysterious Backstory!" She accused. "Like, you promised to give us the chance to find out every time you Summoned what your 'secret' was, but then Assassin happened, and we completely forgot about it in the confusion. And then today we had Berserker and that, so we didn't even to think about bringing it up!"

"Dear… what does she mean?" Berserker had somehow snuck under the table amidst her tantrum and was now pressed against my back, looking down at me in confusion. "Mysterious Backstory? Have you… have you been keeping secrets from me, darling? Because if you have been, I will not be very happy. I wish to hear nought but your whispers of sweet nothings, and detest the idea of lies coming from those soft lips."

"Now, now!" I protested, rising from my chair and separating from my Yanderehime. Oh wait, her name was Kiyohime. "I haven't been hiding anything, we just all forgot in the confusion of the last day or two."

"I must admit, I'm rather curious myself now." Said Assassin with a soft smile. "A Dark and Mysterious past, hmmm?"

"Well, we've been waiting longer, so you don't get to complain!" Medea spoke childishly, with a stuck-out tongue thrown in for good measure.

"So then… darling. What is this secret of yours."

"Okay. Before that though, love of god, put down the knife." I told her, backing into the kitchen and consequently the door. Because I'd only ordered her against murdering love rivals, not the target of her romantic obsession.

"Better?" Lily asked, after they went over to the smaller Servant and detained her effortlessly with their superior Strength stat. Kiyohime could only struggle futilely, kicking weakly like a kitten held over a bathtub, but it was clear that she couldn't get free herself.

"Much better." I agreed. "I tell you, Saber. You are a literal god send. There's a reason you're my favourite."

"Now, now, I thought a man couldn't play favourites with his women?" The redheaded Rider chimed in, not really offended, but perhaps disappointed.

"Well tough. Parents say 'oh, we love you all equally', but even if they loved all their children 100 percent, one is still loved by 105." I told her. "And sorry sweetcheeks, but some Servants are clearly superior."

At this, the older woman pouted. Her arms were crossed crossly, and she huffed in my general direction. "I thought you said I was your favourite."

"Oh, you were." I agreed without hesitation. "Wonderful, reliable Boudica, always bailing my ass out of trouble. But then Saber became Best Waifhusbando after I realised that they were the sole thing holding this party together and stopping the Grey Team from falling into absolute anarchy due to the weirdos I seem to have a habit in summoning."

"Hey, I'm not a weirdo!" protested the Greek princess.

"Medea, you're a freakin' Magical Elf Girl with an inability to understand basic economics, a habit of petty shoplifting and the weird duality of mutual naivety and Tsundere-ness coupled with the strict teaching style of Full Metal Jacket… and yet you still probably don't count as the least weird of us." I told her. "Quite frankly, we all qualify as Quirky Side Characters at this point of time!"

"While I find your compliments flattering, can you get on with it?" Saber asked pleasantly, though with a look of pain on their face. Berserker couldn't escape, but that couldn't stop her from gnawing at the arm that held her like the dragon gnawing at the roots of the world tree.

"Got it, got it." And with that, I sat down atop the kitchen top, and tried to think through how the fuck I was actually going to tell everyone my status as a Self Insert without sounding like a madman. "Wow- I really should have put more thought into how I was going to have to explain this when the time came, huh?"

"Didn't you specifically delay this purely so you could do just that?" Reminded Medea.

"Geez, I miss the uncaringly bright and sunny Medea." I winced at her words. She really did seem to be shedding the core of her sunny nature and naïve optimism, slowly but surely gaining the edge of her elder self- we were all literally the worst role models ever.

Then, before I could truly begin trying to tell my tale, I realised that someone had chosen to sit atop the counter besides me. And without even a single word of warning, I was pulled down, so my head rested atop her lap. "Don't worry too much." Boudica told me. The look on her features was endearing as hell, and kind to a fault. Her fingers ran through my hair unconsciously, and for a moment, I felt far calmer.

It wouldn't be wrong to admit that I was a stressed guy, right now. Considering the stakes of this conflict and my own personal knowledge, sometimes it felt like I really did have the weight of the world atop me, even though the heaviest of my burdens had been relieved when I learned that the Greater Grail was pure. I still had tonnes of worries: the fear of death, of never returning home, of failing to achieve the Grail, of that ever mysterious Red Team and the avert threats of Kotomine, Zouken and Gilgmaesh. Even without the Corrupted Grail, this War still had plenty of ways to worry me.

"No matter what your story, no matter how wild or silly, no matter what revelations come of this… let it be known that you will always have the blade of the Queen of Victory on your side, Master… no. You'll always have my sword, James."

That was the first time Boudica had ever addressed my name. In fact, I think that it was the first time for a while that any of my Servants had called me by my name as opposed to referring to me merely by my position as their Master.

"Thank you." I told my first Servant. She perhaps wasn't the strongest, nor was she the most famous, or the most insanely loyal. But dang it, she had a caring heart that few others did.

"I'm really jealous." One of the Servants muttered, though for a change it wasn't Berserker (Who was too busy gnawing at flesh and arm to be able to voice her no doubt murderous thoughts).

Still, all things must end, and I had a promise to fulfil. It was plain to see that they wanted answers, and I owed them that, so I pushed myself off that soft lap and instead accepted the reassuring presence by my side alone.

"Okay. My backstory. It's kind of crazy, but I swear that I speak nothing but the truth, because I'm sure Berserker will point out any that I would tell. The first thing to note is that I'm not from around here. And I don't just mean this country, I mean this world."

"World?" Medea queried, a thin finger at her chin. "So you're an alien? Did you come here looking for mates, and is that why you've amassed a collection of Servants like us?"

I couldn't hold back my sniggering- her guess was as wrong as you could get. "No. I'm human. Nothing but, in fact. I was born a normal boring person, and I lived a normal boring life. The only magic I had to do with were to be found in the stories I read and wrote. Hell, as far as I was aware, there wasn't any magic to be found in the world, or at least if there was, I didn't think I'd ever be lucky enough to find evidence of it."

"No magic? Then where does your insight come from?" Lily asked.

"Yeah! Like, how'd you know all about Ruler and that Apocrypha thing then?"

My gaze now was as serious as I could make it. "Here's where things get weird. I know all about the Holy Grail War and Ruler and all those other things because… well, I read about it."

"You… read it?" Mata Hari slowly spoke, as if trying to properly register my words. "I don't quite follow. Do you mean you found a book on the past wars, perhaps?"

"No." I shook my head. "It was no biography, and it was on the Fifth War in particular."

"But… how? What?" Assassin blinked. "I don't…"

I sighed deeply. "I'm sure you're confused. The point I'm trying to make here, is that I read about a Fifth Holy Grail War where I wasn't there. It was a fictional story of seven Heroes and seven Magi thrown together in a Death Battle Royalle. There was mystery and ideals and darkness, and all those other wonderful things I enjoyed at the time, so I read it, and liked the setting well enough to read more about it. Do you understand?"

"Not really." Admitted Lily.

Okay. Perhaps I needed to just say it as bluntly as I could. "Alright then. Let's try a different avenue. The Second True Magic is the Kaleidoscope, the operation of parallel worlds, correct? Theoretically, anything can happen. From the simplest possibilities- like a planet where the dinosaurs never died, or a land where Rome never fell- to the more absurd, such as a world where pizza is sentient and orders takeaway human, or where George Lucas released a decent prequel trilogy."

Deep breath. More relevance, less examples. "Long story short, anything is theoretically possible if you look hard enough. Consequently… would you say it would be terribly unlikely that in another world the events of the Holy Grail War here just so happened to be coincidentally written as a fictional story in another world? Like, your legends here are written, so why couldn't this War be a valid story?"

"Are you saying that this is all a… story, to you?" Boudica pressed.

I shook my head. "Once, maybe. But this is real now. You're all real people to me, and the danger is real. I read about a Holy Grail War, but it was all just entertainment. Then, one day, I woke up in a hotel room I never paid for, with documents not mine, in a city that couldn't possibly exist. And I knew exactly what was happening, and what would happen. Each and every tragedy that could happen. They tossed me into a story I considered fictional, and then left me to deal with the consequences of said fiction becoming my reality."

"And thus, the events of a story you knew became the reality you now lived." Medea said, sullenly. "You really didn't have any choice in joining this War, did you?"

I couldn't have tried to keep the bitterness of my face. "Not really. I could theoretically leave, but deep down I had little options available to me as a stranger in a strange world in a strange country, with potential Magical Armageddon on the horizon."

"Uhm… what was that last one?" Saber blinked.

"Magical Armageddon. Long story. But, back to the topic at hand… well, other long story short, something dumped me here. Someone. These Command Seals… you… those extra Servants… this is all just entertainment, no doubt, to whatever sadistic force dumped me here in the first place. There had to be purpose behind it. Couldn't be a universal fluke, because it took very real effort to set everything up, else I would have appeared with nothing, and certainly not have been magically taught Japanese and given a Magic fucking Core. They put me here, and expect me to enter this war, and I really don't know why they did it."

By now, I was taking deep breaths, and it was a struggle not to punch something. I try not to whine about things, I really do. So far, as a mostly normal person tossed into life or death circumstances, I personally thought I'd handled this whole clusterfuck well. I'd rolled with the punches, tried not to dwell on the crippling fear too much, and tried to remain a strong Master. But now that I had a chance to talk-

Well, it was difficult to resist a chance to complain when it was offered. "I'm just… I think I'm scared, really. I knew the risks from what I read. I knew what was coming. Things are different now, radically so, but when I first got here I was sure I'd be crushed, so I ran. Because I'm nobody here, and while I may look like I'm handling things well, deep down, I think I just want to do a Shinji Ikari and run the fuck away. So, I'm sorry to moan, because I don't regret Summoning any of you… but I do wish that I hadn't been pushed into the deep end. That I'd been told 'hey, this is what's going on', and maybe even given some time to prepare, or maybe even just had a choice."

I was almost done now- had almost fully vented. Of that, I was sure. "So that's it. My backstory is relatively boring. I'm just a nobody dumped into another world and pushed into a situation far out of his control, probably for Zelretch's amusement, or something along those lines. I'm nobody special. Just a man trying to survive a war unscathed, with as few deaths on his hands as possible, and perhaps become someone a little bit better than the person I already was."

For a moment, there was silence following the end of my rant. None of my Servants had anything to say, and I almost felt like they just didn't know what to think. I didn't know when, but sometime during my rant Boudica had found the time to begin weaving her fingers reassuringly through my hair. Then there was Medea- she just looked angry, I think. I couldn't tell what Lily was thinking since they were presently putting on a strong face- though their hostage was far more vocal in her thoughts, as she was already bawling her eyes out. Then, there was my last Servant. Assassin- the spy whom captured a thousand hearts, and shared a thousand secrets more. Her face was scrunched up in thought- I couldn't tell what was going through her mind.

And then the instance ended, and they didn't hesitate to give me a piece of their mind.

"Oh, you poor boy!" Assassin was out of her chair before I knew it- if I didn't know any better, I'd swear she'd gained a bonus to Agility through sheer force of will alone. The next thing I knew I was being pulled into her perfumed embrace- the most comforting thing I was sure she could think to do in the situation. "Suffering in silence! Doomed to a situation far beyond your control! Truly, a tragic fate! Don't you worry! Mata Hari is here now, and she's going to take good care of you from now on, m'kay!?"

"… is it just me, or does she seem particularly enthusiastic about the whole 'tragedy' thing?"

"Get your grubby little hands off him!" Berserker hissed (A very expected response), though the tears continued to pour; for a moment, I could almost swear that she had become a snake that tried to slither from Saber's ironclad grasp, so that she could do the exact same thing Assassin had. "Seek comfort from me instead, darling! I had no idea that the wheel of Reincarnation had taken you so far, or that you were struggling so, while I remained deaf to your silent pleas for help! Oh, never hide anything from me again, for I shall burn that which ails you!"

I murmured something like "Murgle mph!", mostly because I couldn't speak due to my face being introduced to the pearly white gates. By the time I had been released, I could barely think- the little resistance I had built to Assassin, shattered within seconds of her touch.

And then the two Servants had been carefully pulled aside by Saber, who could only give me a neutral expression. "That rant had been building up for awhile, hadn't it?"

"Suppose so." I mumbled- already feeling a little better. Quite frankly, nothing quite beats a good moan sometimes.

"Well, I can't say I blame you too much. At heart, you really are a civilian." Was their blunt reply. "Sure, maybe I was ready to jump to the call as soon as chance struck me, but not everybody is like that, and I'm certain that my first mission came with far more preparation and far lower stakes." Here, their face became a little bit pained. "Before, I told you that you needed to become like a general. I wanted you to become strong, so you could survive this War… but perhaps it was wrong of me to say as such."

"You weren't." I disagreed. "I… I want to win, now that I'm here, so naturally that means I have to harden up. At the end of the day, I could still have run away, if I wanted to. So since I chose this fate of my own will, then I've naturally got no right to complain. I… didn't want to appear weak, so I put on my stiff upper lip."

Quite frankly, I was a mostly normal person. And surrounded by all these amazing Heroic Spirits I'd summoned, I didn't want to be the weak link. Most of this War had been spent trying to act as the best competitor I could be. I was their Master, and damn it, I wanted to deserve that honour and privilege, as opposed to have been randomly given the opportunity due to outside forces.

I wanted them to look at me and be proud of being my Servants, if only for the Grail War. Maybe I wanted to be something more than I was, perhaps. But a false front only lasts so long, and at the heart of the matter, I felt inadequate when surrounded by such people. No 'hero' talks about their feelings.

"I'd rather you look weak than end up dead due to stress and not talking to us about your fears." Lily chided. I said nothing, but I was sure that they knew what I was thinking. "Damn it… as a Knight, I really do need to take a larger role in supporting you. Mayhaps this Chevalier wasn't wrong, but I wasn't right either. It's all well and good telling you to become something more than you are, but it's difficult to walk the path alone. So for now, I don't too much care about your apparent weakness. I am still your sword, and will serve you as loyally as I ever did the crown. You'll have my support one hundred percent of the way."

The warm and fuzzy feeling I got at their words was snuffed out rather prematurely, however, as a sudden figure came out of nowhere and punched me in the gut. I had to admit, that hurt like a bitch.

"Enough of the supportive bullshit." Medea hissed angrily. "Jeez, who gives a Hades whether you look weak or not? I don't care about you being the best Master or magus you can! And hell, I don't even care about the repercussions of you being from another fucking world and with knowledge of the future… which we should probably be making a WAAAAY bigger deal out and hasn't actually been brought up once, by the way."

"Ummmm… are you going anywhere with this?" I asked, nursing my tender stomach.

She whacked me again. "Shut up! You had your chance to vent, but now I'm doing it, okay? So yeah, I'm annoyed by your lack of sharing your knowledge, am honestly a bit wary of just what you may know…" Pasts and histories and secrets best not known. "But that doesn't change anything. I'm your Servant, you're my Master, and this isn't your fault."

Of all the things for her to be making a deal out of… I had NOT expected that one. "Well, it kind of is, since my presence here forced the War to spiral way out of control, while it was still my own choice to compete."

"I said shut up." I flinched at Medea's furious attitude. "Of course you had no choice! Torn from your home without any warning, and tossed here for another's entertainment. Yeah, you could run… but only at the cost of basically abandoning your only chance to return home to your family."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the rest of my Servants reacting to that- and I saw a general consensus of agreement.

Here, Medea got really fired up. A fire burned in her eyes, and it burned strong. "James, before now, I didn't really have a wish for the Grail. Not really. I think it would have been to see Jason again if I reached the end alone, or perhaps it would be to return to my family and childhood before Jason and that love forced upon me. But I don't care too much about that now. No. If I get the chance to make a wish, then I'll ask for whoever or whatever brought you here to appear before me in physical form… and then I'll ram my staff where princesses best not speak of."

"Did… did Medea just offer to do what I think she did!?" My eyes goggled out in amazement at the princess. I certainly hadn't expected that.

"I expect the best in everyone." She admitted, softly. "I prefer to trust, even though I objectively remember enough of my life to know where such trust leads me. I don't want to become like how I did later on in life, though. But it wasn't my fault, in the end. My love was forced upon me by the Gods, and while I don't regret falling in love… it was still those meddling Gods faults that I became what I did. And while our situations are different, they are similar enough."

And suddenly, the reason for Medea's passion at my situation became abruptly clear. To Medea, my story was like a twisted reflection of her own history- reflecting back the trials and torments that she herself had endured across her life. She had been fucked over by the gods. Her emotions had been toyed with, and a love she never asked for was thrust onto her, and in pursuing such a love, she lost everything, before eventually losing that love she sacrificed so much for too.

I reminded her of herself. A young fool, dragged into a situation by greater forces for their own amusement, trying to make the best of things and inevitably making things worse. So yeah. Maybe she pitied me. Maybe she empathised with my situation. Or perhaps she just really hated gods and other such heartless meddlers, and my situation just so happened to be enough to get her ridiculously riled up.

"James, you've being just as cosmically fucked as I was, and that is terrible. So, I don't care what it takes. I'm not letting you turn out like me. You're gonna have a happy ending- whether that is by getting the Grail and going home, or by just surviving this mess in one piece. You're living through this war, damn it, even if I have to remake your body a thousand times over with Pain Breaker!"

"There won't be a need for you to fix him up if I just kill the threat before it reaches him." Boudica disagreed, placing a hand upon the small witch's shoulder. It was a reassuring gesture- an understanding one. "I've bloodied my hands enough in my life, so what's a little more? Have no fear, for we, your Servants, will support you to the very end until you hold the Grail in your hands and there are none left to harm you."

"You… you guys." I spoke, my voice choking up a little. The things they said… the response I'd gotten to revealing my past… I had not expected it. Honestly, I'd anticipated either sceptical acceptance, or perhaps disappointment. Instead, I got a lot of understanding and support, and damn it all, I probably didn't warrant it. I got up and turned away, trembling a little. "I'm not… these aren't tears." I denied, firmly. "Damn it, they aren't."

I was lying through my teeth though, and not even Kiyohime was going to comment upon it. Because I had been scared for a long time now. I'd put on false confidence, and just resolved to keep pressing on no matter how much I just wanted to give up, because otherwise I would die. I was stuck in this war, so there was no choice but to give it my all, because pursuing a miracle didn't seem wrong. Quite frankly, I hadn't expected such unanimous support from everyone, or that everyone would even believe my story anyway.

So yes. After hearing all that, I think it was okay to cry a little bit, no matter how bad I'd likely feel for unloading on my Servants like that, or how much this would likely shatter any remaining tinges of competence they'd see in me as a Master. This was just… a small moment of weakness. My Servants had my back though, and even though they knew I was kinda useless when it counts, they still said they wanted to support me.

"I'm not crying." I repeated, wiping away at them as quickly as they appeared.

"Dummy." Boudica berated me, smacking me on the back of the head, though there was no real force or malice behind it. "Just take as long as you need. We've got your back, okay?"

XXXXXXXXXX

It was later in the day, a few hours after my mini-breakdown in front of my Servants, that I finally realised that we'd run out of time.

Assassin barged into my room (Where I was once again studying the books that Kirei had left me while Medea was beside me, occasionally offering scathing critique between her own work on finishing up that 'Command Seal' suppresser she had promised).

I took one look at the serious look on her face, and didn't even wait to gesture for her to tell me what had happened.

"Well, one of my informants got in touch." She said, gesturing to a bulky black mobile phone she must have gained access to when my back was turned. "Apparently there was some trouble at the airport a few hours back caused by someone trying to skip the security checks and making a big fuss about it too. It wasn't the only case either, and the problems the customers caused were brushed off fairly quickly too."

A frown found its way onto my face. "Are you thinking what I am?"

The dancer nodded grimly. "I think the Red Team has finally arrived in Fuyuki."

AN- well… that turned out a little soppier than I expected? Honestly, the original plan on the scene was a lot different, with the revelation being more about the future of the war, but characters have a habit of writing themselves, and it certainly seemed in character for James to take this chance to moan a little bit- and in turn it kinda made sense to take advantage of it to boost all the available Social Links. It was clunky and annoying, and it came out sounding really whingy and out of character- but when someone compartmentalises his problems for a later date, he has to unbox it eventually, while I didn't want to try rewriting this again. And realistically, a battle royalle to the death likely would be stressful, even with the understanding that they chose it knowing this even so. Though, let's be clear- terrible choice, either way. Run away and live the rest of your life in a foreign world filled with supernatural bullshit, with no qualifications, minimal paperwork and no support networks, likely never finding a way home… with a strong possibility that you get dragged into everything anyway due to the Command Seals and a ROB/Zelretch that clearly wanted you in Fuyuki for a reason and wouldn't be happy to see you escape. Or, fight the war, which you likely can't run from anyway, and maybe get a Wish at the end of it all. Not sure if James' reasoning comes across well- but while he had a choice, there was only one choice he could really accept.

Look on the bright side- at least he's in a stronger emotional state now in order to properly compete in the war? Oh look! Shiny promise for more updates. And the Word of God that we've left Ikari!James alone for basically forever now, and will likely have some cool Holy Grail Stuff showing up in the next chapter! (Forgive the long AN- see you next chapter).