AN: And now, back to your regularly scheduled serving of James flailing about and generally being put in more troubling scenarios from his own Servants than his enemies. A little shorter than I would have liked, but the next one should have a lot more substance to it.
Chapter 14
This evening had been a disaster, through and through. Some elements had turned out better than others, but the overall mood of our party was bleak as we shuffled into the harbour-side warehouse we'd scouted out before.
Firstly, we'd failed to gain much info on the Red Team, save for the fact that they'd kicked the Blue's out of the Temple, and that one of their Masters' was Cornelius Bloody Alba, while his Servant wielded a blade of some manner.
Next had been Ilya and Shirou. Our survival there hadn't come down to our own personal skill, but rather luck and the fact that we (Unlike most groups of Servants) had a reliable healing method to fall back on. Without Medea, many of us would have either died to Hercules or by Arthuria's Excalibur.
Finally, our base of operations had been destroyed, and we'd had little choice but to flee. We were all tried and bloody, exhausted to our cores. Medea had patched up the worst, but it takes time to recover, and when we saw Alba we just couldn't feel confident in defeating a fresh Master and unknown Servant when most of us were so weakened.
Considering just how knackered we were, it was lucky that Alba had decided against pursuing us, and that we had already had a backup base sorted. The warehouse was just as run down as the last time I'd seen it, but that was fine, as long as nobody knew we were here and we had a break to think.
"Yoohoo!" A voice called out from one of the corners of the warehouse- I hadn't even noticed her as we stumbled in and took seats at a set of cheap plastic chairs that I only now realised wasn't here before.
"Assassin." I greeted her as she stepped out of the darkness and towards us, relief in my tone. Even though I had known that she still lived due to the Prana connection between us, that didn't stop me from being massively relieved to see that she was still alive and mostly unhurt. Her clothing had been singed (To reveal more delicious skin than normal- and damn it, stop it brain!), and her demeanour was glum, but she was alive.
The spy took one look at our own battered party and knew at once that our evening had likely been just as shitty as hers. Without another word, she leant down and pulled me into a reassuring hug. "Hey, look on the bright side. We're all still alive, aren't we hon?"
"Hands off him, you skank." Kiyohime hissed, but her voice lacked its usual venom. I think we were all to out of it to truly have any heat in our words.
I pulled myself from the really nice hug to ask her the important question. I was relieved that we all escaped our scenarios alive, but that didn't mean that I needed answers any less than before. "What happened at the hotel?"
"The evening started off fine. No problems at all, until the fire started. It came out of nowhere and engulfed the building. I saw him, the Master, as I fled. His Servant was helping with the fire too, so I assume that he's a Caster. He'd clearly known we were there and had been heading up to the room when I barely avoided him. Luckily, my Espionage Skill meant he couldn't identify me as an enemy Servant, so I slipped past unnoticed. After that, I fled into the streets and went to ground for a while and tried to contact you, and when that failed I left for our backup base. And now here we are."
"I'm glad you survived." Lily said with a little smile. "It's always a shame when a fellow spy falls into the enemy hands. I feel we'll need all the information we can in the future."
She nodded her head. "I'm sure we will. Can I assume that your own information gathering mission went badly too?"
"We almost died." Admitted Rider tiredly. "Sure, we learned about a big fight that happened in the Temple, likely resulting in the Blue Teams eviction, but it wasn't worth the beating we took. If it hadn't been for Kiyohime, Hercules would have butchered us all."
"Aye." I shuddered a little at the thought of dark giant of pure muscle. He was a scary, scary man and I couldn't be happier that he'd lost his most powerful of weapons when he had been summoned- his mind. "She really bailed us out."
"Our petite Berserker? Oh my, she must have some hidden depths buried below her cold demeanour." Assassin commented, fanning her face lightly with her hand and drawing attention to her-
Rider smacked me around the back of the head, knocking me back into the conversation. I gave her a little nod of thanks. "Hidden depths? How's about a dragon in sheep's clothing."
"Very impressive then." Assassin said with glaringly false surprise.
"I saved him," Kiyohime said softly. "that is more than you have done."
At that, she frowned prettily. "You make a good point. I still feel like I contribute the least to this Team, and it makes me feel a little guiltier that I cannot accomplish my namesake of assassination."
Medea shook her head and placed a reassuring hand on the much taller woman's shoulder. "Never feel guilty for being unable to kill."
A small cough. Lily drew our attention back to themselves. "As much as I am enjoying this conversation, I feel that perhaps we should move on. We've moved to this new base, but we shouldn't assume that we are safe."
"Ahh! Good point!" Medea startled, and then promptly sped off away from our loose gathering by the inner entrance to the warehouse. "I've got to start turning this place into my Hospital while I still can! Not to mention I'll need to resupply and restart production of goods! Don't think I'm not aware of that charm breaking!"
"That girl sure can be excitable." Mata Hari said fondly as the god-blooded girl immediately started muttering to herself in Ancient Greek. "And she makes good points. Perhaps I should start on my job too, and head on out to check up on contacts. See what I can find out. I refuse to be a burden."
"Not tonight." My denial was almost as absolute as a Command Seal, it was that firm. "Call me soppy, but I… I'm a little scared right now. We almost died far too many times tonight. Far too close. None of us should be alone at this point, and I'd much rather have you here in the warehouse, if only so I can see that we're all still alive and kicking."
The way she looked at me was doting, almost obligingly so, but I was sure I could see relief in her eyes too. She'd said she had given up on having her wish granted by the Grail- she was likely the one out of us with the least reason to put her life in danger, and yet still chose to stand by our war effort. I had to respect that. "I understand, my Mas~ter. Would you like me to accompany you to the bed too, if only so you can keep an eye on me." She finished coyly, with a flirty wink and a suggestive hand upon her hips.
Breakdown. Error Message: mind cannot properly process its ocular and auditory functions. Please await automatic reboot in 5... 4… 3… 2… 1… and…
"Wh-what!?" I spluttered like a vocal beetroot. "I! B-but I- I just… well I wouldn't! Y-you…g-gah!"
And then my mind shut down for a second time.
A clanging sound- it drew my attention away from the impossible woman in front of me. Kiyohime was on the floor and with a dark expression, trying to pick up her knife again after she dropped it. "Damned harlot…" she muttered under her breath.
"Oh, you give the most adorable reactions to my teasing!" Assassin exclaimed triumphantly, and then pulled me to her bosom for a quick gut-wrenching hug, before releasing me with a giggle and a skip as she faded away into her Astral form. "Call me when it's time for bed!"
And thus, Mata Hari got the last word… again.
"That woman is rather impressive." was the only commentary Boudica was willing to give. It was a grudging admittance, accompanied by an appreciative whistle. "She makes me feel inadequate in all the ways that matter, but impressive all the same."
"She's so… forwards!" Medea shouted from an upstairs portion of the factory. "I wish I had her courage!"
"I'm glad you don't! One of her is enough!" I replied, the blush still on my face. I'd claimed to be used to Mata Hari- clearly I'd just been lulled into a false sense of security by the damned dancer! Was this her revenge for before? She really was a bitch. An attractive one, mind you, but still a bitch. "Stupid sexy Assassin…" I mumbled.
"Love Rivals!" Berserker writhed from the floor- her knife still comically slipping from her fingers every time she scrambled for it. "My Anchin is beset upon by all sides by seductive courtesans, seeking to share his bed! Only I, his beloved Kiyohime, should rest by his side!"
Rider laughed, just a teensy bit sheepishly. She scratched at her head, as if the fact had only just now came up. "Well you see, you may have some problems with that last statement. After all, all of his Servants share his bed with his aside from Mata Hari, and now even she seems to have joined the mass sleepovers we seem to be having."
Berserker's face was the most adorable shade of horrified. "To think the problem was this bad already, that so many of my Anchin's loyal retainers have turned against me… that he has allowed so many potential rivals into our bed… how unacceptable! Especially when we have yet to even have had our own honeymoon!"
I paled at her words. "One, you need to be married to have a honeymoon, and we sure aren't that. Two, this is a completely platonic thing. Like… siblings! Or close friends! Yeah, friends with snuggling benefits!"
My words did anything but reassure her. "They get snuggle rights!?"
"Well, yes. In our defence, they are some pretty good snuggles, and James is rather cuddly." Admitted Boudica. "But it's as he said. Mostly platonic. Yup. Absolutely nothing more than that. We're merely there to protect him while he sleeps, are we not?"
The traditional woman gave her fellow Servant a cold smile "Yes, but not everyone has quite so honest intentions, and even then, you are not completely honest yourself, are you?"
Boudica frowned at the Yamato Nadeshiko. "I don't know what you're implying, but I don't like it."
"Ara, you sure are oblivious, aren't you?" A person chipped in who I assumed had left after she had her fun. Assassin manifested once more, with a playful smirk and a little giggle that had me very worried. "Oh, are you certain that its purely platonic? I'm sure that the Queen of Victory would very much like a loyal subject to keep her warm at night… so she could bestow upon him her royal blessing."
And then with a cry of triumph, Assassin faded into her Astral form again, no doubt very aware of the chaos she had stirred by interjecting once more with her very well-timed words. Each and every syllable had been selected to create the maximum amount of chaos, and while it was just meaningless teasing, I couldn't deny just how strong her words could hit. Even Lily had trouble masking their amusement at our reactions, despite Lily's very clear 'no flirting!' rule.
I'd been left unable to look anyone in the eyes, and I was sure that I had the mother of all blushes upon my features once more, courtesy of that damn woman.
Boudica was in much the same state- it was very odd to see the teasing Big Sister-like woman reduced to the complex of a tomato, while she stuttered out meaningless babble. "But- I'm not- I have a- well, he is dead, but- w-well, it isn't like- gah!"
And then finally, Kiyohime. My knife had found itself into her hands (despite my best efforts otherwise) and she had driven into the floor up to its hilt. Her pleasant features had cracked, and her right eyebrow kept twitching. "I am so. Jealous."
"We don't even have a bed to share in the first place!" I yelled at the empty air, for Mata Hari was gone, leaving only her laughter behind.
"Well, it's not like Projection Magecraft is that difficult to use, and a bed is rather simple…" Medea did say.
"That doesn't help at all!" I shouted, throwing up my arms in defeat. "You win this round, Mata Hari. You won it with your first set of flirting, but you really rubbed the salt in the wound with this. You truly are the most troublesome of my Servants, are you not? Don't tell me I'm gonna have to give you ANOTHER lesson in not stirring shit up for the lols!?"
