Chapter 18

Christmas Day passed with the customary phone call from her parents, during which they talked about nothing of significance. Emily also received an unexpected but sweet 'Merry Christmas' text message from Hannah. Otherwise, it was a quiet day with the exception of a smaller dinner at Rossi's that included Rossi, Krystall, Krystall's daughter, Portia, Penelope, and Emily. It felt a little like Emily was intruding on Rossi's Christmas with his new family and she was glad that it wasn't just her but Penelope, too.

She expected the day after Christmas to be a quiet day of binging TV and catching up on work, but it wasn't. Emily received two phone calls, and neither of the people calling were bearing good news. The first was a phone call from JJ informing her that Michael had the flu.

"Oh, no! And he was sick on Christmas. Poor baby," Emily said sympathetically. "Do you guys need anything?"

"Thank you, but that's not why I'm calling," JJ told her in a slightly amused tone. Emily was missing the obvious reason for the call.

"Oh?" Emily said.

"Emily, Hannah played with Michael at Dave's house. If he's sick, she probably caught it from him," JJ pointed out. She knew her first thought would have been of her own children if she found out they'd been playing with a kid who had the flu, but that thought didn't even occur to Emily. As good as she was with kids, Emily was still learning how to think like a mother.

"Oh, no," Emily said with a groan as the reason for JJ's courtesy call clicked.

"I admit whiny, sick kids aren't one of the joys of parenthood, but kids get sick," JJ told her friend.

"No, it's not that. It's just…Hannah's adoptive father didn't even want me to take her to the BAU Christmas party in the first place," Emily started to explain.

"And if she got the flu there…" JJ allowed her voice to trail off as she realized what Emily was really worried about.

"He'll be even more unhappy with me than he already is," Emily said in a defeated tone.

"I'm sorry," JJ said guiltily.

"Don't apologize," Emily told her. "It's not your fault. Kids get sick, and we don't even know if Hannah's sick. I'm just sorry you're spending the holidays taking care of a sick kid. I'm sure you guys had better things to do this week."

"Ah, it, uh, got my mom and Will's mom to cancel their trips to visit us," JJ said, not entirely unhappy about that. "Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. And Will's mom is great. I just don't know if I could have handled both of them at the same time. I hate seeing my baby sick, but there is a silver lining."

"Hey, you don't need to explain yourself to me," Emily assured her friend. "A ten-minute phone call with my parents yesterday fulfilled my quota of quality time for the year."

"You talked to your mother?" JJ raised her eyebrows even though Emily couldn't see her. "Did you tell her about Hannah?"

It was Emily's turn to raise her eyebrows. "Uh, you mean did I ruin her Christmas by telling her that I let an arms dealer who was wanted by every law enforcement agency on the Western Hemisphere impregnate me? No…no, I didn't."

"You don't have to tell her about Doyle," JJ said gently.

"I wasn't planning on telling her about Doyle or Hannah," Emily replied honestly. "Jayje, I know my mother, and she won't see Hannah as the good kid that she is. She'll just see her as a PR problem…an illegitimate child whose very existence could be damaging to her reputation in Washington."

"That's harsh," JJ observed quietly.

"That's my mother," Emily told her friend bluntly. "It's all politics to her."

"I can't even imagine what it was like for you growing up with her." It was no wonder Emily was the way she was – intensely private, slow to trust, and closed-off emotionally. JJ heard Will call for help and frowned, hating to cut the conversation short when Emily was actually opening up - a rarity in and of itself. "Ugh, I'm sorry, Em, but I have to go. Michael's crying."

Emily could hear the beginnings of a tantrum in the background. It sounded like Will was trying unsuccessfully to get the crying toddler to take his medicine and needed JJ's help.

"Duty calls. Go take care of him. Take as much time as you need," Emily said kindly, speaking both as JJ's boss and her friend.

With Rossi going to visit Joy in California, Simmons taking personal time to spend time with his family during the holidays, and Reid visiting his mom, the BAU team was down to just half the team as it already was. JJ taking a sick day – or week – to take care of Michael wouldn't make any difference. The team could function if they were a man down but not if they were down by three – now four with JJ. They wouldn't be taking any new cases until after New Year's. Knowing she would have too many people taking time off, Emily had already taken the team out of rotation.

Emily wondered if she would be able to see Hannah at all during the downtime, but then she remembered the girl was going skiing in Stowe. With morning news on in the background, she busied herself with a case that didn't warrant being an official BAU case because the murders were too spread out – only two dead in eight years. Both victims were adolescent females that fit a certain body type – petite blonde girls in their early teens. And, they were both killed in the same way and were found in roughly the same area, a middle class suburb of Los Angeles.

It wouldn't make sense for the BAU to take the case because it could be another four years before the next murder, but Emily had agreed to look over what the police had and make some notes to help with a preliminary profile for the officers to use in their search for the killer. Emily started with the crime scene photos and the medical examiner's notes. The way the girls were left showed classic signs of remorse. They were suffocated. The fibers the medical examiner found in each of their mouths were from a high thread count Egyptian cotton pillowcase – one unlikely to be found in a middle class home due to the high price tag attached. These girls weren't killed in their own homes. They may have been killed in the unsub's home or in an expensive hotel. Whoever the unsub was, he or she had money.

There was no bruising or scratches on either body – no defensive wounds or signs of a struggle. These girls trusted the unsub. They didn't fight back.

Both girls had sexual intercourse the day they died, but there was no DNA evidence. Perhaps they had an intimate relationship with the unsub. If they did, it helped narrow his age down – Emily was leaning toward the unsub being a male now even though the murder method and remorse could be indicative of a female. But if the girls had an intimate relationship with the unsub, it was likely a male, and he was likely young enough and good looking enough to appeal to young girls. Emily's best guess was that he would be in his twenties, and he might have a baby face or otherwise youthful appearance. Most young teenage girls wouldn't find the idea of being with a man in his thirties or older appealing. He may have been a teenager when he first started, but with the time that lapsed between victims, he would be in his twenties now.

It wasn't unusual for Emily to lose track of time when she was working, and before she knew it, it was almost lunch time. She would have worked through lunch if Steve hadn't called to see if she could meet him for lunch. He didn't say anything to indicate Hannah was sick, and Emily decided not to bring it up. She didn't need to give him another reason to be upset about her taking Hannah to the BAU Christmas party. She was already worried about why the adoptive father wanted to see her. Nothing good could come from it. She felt like she was going to be read the riot act.

Steve made it clear from day one that he was Hannah's parent and Emily being there now didn't change that. After Christmas Eve, Emily thought he might want to make it even clearer that she wasn't Hannah's parent. In his mind, Emily overstepped her bounds as the biological mother who had no parental rights and no place in their Christmas celebrations. It stood to reason then that the adoptive father would want to make sure she knew her place. But how would he do that exactly? Surely he wouldn't completely cut Emily off from Hannah. That wouldn't just be punishing Emily – it would be punishing Hannah, too, and Hannah had done nothing wrong. Even though she didn't think he really would do that, the mere possibility had Emily's stomach tied in knots.

Feeling uncharacteristically nervous, Emily walked into the salad and sandwich place where they agreed to meet. It was near Steve's office and would normally have a lunch rush from all the businesses with offices in that part of D.C. but was unusually empty that day. Not many people were working the day after Christmas, and there weren't really any retail shops or housing in the area, just businesses.

Steve's civil but clipped greeting did nothing to put Emily at ease. She knew she was seeing the lawyer, not the father. He was all business. Emily wondered belatedly if maybe she should have asked Hotch for advice before going into this lunch meeting.

They ordered salads and got fountain drinks. Emily chose a table tucked away in the back corner that gave them some semblance of privacy even though there was only one other table in the whole restaurant that was occupied. Emily picked at her own salad, too nervous to eat.

"When I agreed to let you have a relationship with Hannah, unexpected visits and holidays weren't exactly what I had in mind," Steve started. He was cutting right to the chase.

"Look, I know I touched a nerve, and I'm sorry. It was never my intention to intrude on your holiday plans with Hannah. But when I realized she was going to be sitting home alone, I didn't see the harm in asking if she could come to a Christmas party with me. Would you really rather she spent Christmas Eve alone than with me?" Emily posed it as a yes-or-no question on purpose. He couldn't possibly sit there and say he wanted Hannah to be alone on Christmas Eve.

Steve held her gaze steadily, but there was a heavy wariness in his eyes. He hadn't known what to expect when Emily re-entered the picture, but now he knew how close she and his daughter had gotten in only a month and was beginning to feel a little like he was competing with the woman for his daughter's affections. "That's not the point," he said with a weary sigh. "Hannah likes you. I'm not going to stop you from spending time with her. I just think we need to agree that there's a time and a place for it. A schedule. No more unscheduled visits, okay?" He thought he was being generous – he didn't have to let Emily see Hannah at all, and here he was, offering regular visitation, just on his terms. From a legal perspective, the terms were more than fair.

"With my job, it would be impossible to have a regular day and time for me to see her. There's a lot of travel and late nights and weekends," Emily told him. "And you didn't seem to mind an unscheduled visit when I was helping her with French. You only minded when it was Christmas Eve."

What she said was true. Helping Hannah with her French paper at midnight was definitely not scheduled or planned, and Emily didn't remember the adoptive father complaining about that. He apologized profusely about how late it was, but her being there unscheduled didn't upset him then. On the contrary, he actually thanked her. It was only Christmas Eve that triggered this sit-down.

But Steve couldn't have it both ways. He couldn't have different rules depending on the day.

Emily knew he had all the power in this negotiation, and that's what it was - a negotiation. They were negotiating visitation rights. Emily had no rights to Hannah, not legally. She signed away her rights over thirteen years ago. But she just didn't have it in her to just give in without a fight, not when it meant she may see even less of her kid than she already did. She wasn't a lawyer, but she knew how to negotiate.

Steve lowered his gaze, knowing she had a fair point even if he wasn't willing to admit it. "Even if that were true, it still-" He was cut short by the ringing of his cell phone. He glanced at the screen and frowned slightly. "I have to take this. It's my sister," he told Emily before answering the phone. "Hello?"

Emily could only hear one side of the conversation, but it became apparent that Hannah was with Steve's sister and she was calling because Hannah was sick.

"The flu?" Steve said incredulously. "She was fine this morning. How do you know it's the flu?"

Steve listened to his sister's response and rolled his eyes. He was already ready for a fight because of the conversation he was having with Emily. It wasn't a good time for his older sister to act superior. Why did she always have to be such a know-it-all? It was annoying. Just because she was older didn't mean she automatically knew everything. "Having four kids doesn't make you a doctor, Jill," he told his sister. "Maybe she's just tired from getting up at the crack of dawn to go shopping."

Emily didn't know what his sister was saying to him, but she knew if Hannah was sick, it was more likely than not the flu. She bit her bottom lip and looked down, debating with herself whether or not she should say anything about Michael being sick. What good would it do really? Hannah was already sick – nothing Emily could say now would change that. All telling Steve how Hannah got it would do was make an already bad situation worse. That's what Emily told herself anyway.

Whatever Jill said next must have convinced Steve that Hannah really was sick because the next thing Emily knew, Steve was promising to take Hannah to the doctor.

Unbeknownst to Emily who could still only hear Steve's side of the conversation, Jill went on to question whether Hannah had been sick since Sarah died, not-so-subtly implying that the single father would be over his head with a sick kid. Sarah was a stay-at-home mom and was always the one to take care of Hannah when she was sick. Jill knew that and was only trying to help her baby brother, but the way she was going about it was just putting him on the defensive – something the profiler sitting across from him could clearly see.

Steve rolled his eyes to the ceiling, annoyed at having his older sister question whether he knew how to take care of his sick kid. "No, she hasn't, but I'm not completely incompetent," he answered in an aggravated tone.

Steve listened to his sister's response, which included a warning that Hannah might not be well enough to fly to Vermont the next day. "If she has the flu," he said, "she'll start Tamiflu today, and she'll be fine tomorrow."

He must have gotten an earful from his sister for that because by the time he hung up he looked more like a chastised little boy than a hotshot lawyer. Nobody could take him down a peg or two like his older sister. It was a gift.

"Hannah's sick?" Emily queried in a concerned tone.

"My sister's convinced she has the flu," Steve replied grimly. "And we're supposed to leave for Stowe tomorrow."

"That sucks," Emily said with a sympathetic expression. "You're still going? To Stowe, that is?"

"I don't know," Steve said, shaking his head. "It depends on what the doctor says. Look, I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to go."

They were leaving things unsettled, and Emily knew she wouldn't rest easy until matters between them were settled.

"I understand," Emily said. "But we do need to talk about this more."

Steve inclined his head in agreement. "I'll call you."

"Please tell Hannah I hope she feels better," Emily said.


When she was back home, Emily tried to concentrate on work but couldn't. She was trying to read the lead detective's notes on his interview with the parents of the most recent victim, but she couldn't focus on the words on the page in front of her.

With a heavy sigh, Emily set the police report down. She'd been staring at it for several minutes and hadn't even gotten past the first paragraph. She wasn't going to do much good as a profiler when every thought she had was of her own teenager instead of the teenage victims.

If all Steve would agree to at this point was scheduled visits, Emily knew she would inevitably miss a good number of visits because of her work schedule. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to feel like her job was more important than she was. Emily knew that feeling all-too-well. She wasn't going to do that to her kid. And, even if she did, how many scheduled visits could she miss or reschedule before Steve decided it just wasn't working? She had heard all about the disappointment Hotch and JJ faced when they missed anything their kids wanted them there for because of their jobs. She didn't think Steve would allow her to constantly disappoint Hannah. Emily knew she couldn't agree to Steve's terms. But what choice did she really have here?

Did she need a lawyer? Emily would rather resolve this peacefully without a lawyer. Because she gave up her parental rights, she wouldn't have any legal ground to stand on. She didn't need a lawyer to tell her what she already knew – legally Hannah was Steve's daughter. Still, she could sure use some legal advice right about now.

There was one person and one person only who came to mind, but he would be with his son. She didn't want to take him away from Jack, especially this time of year. Emily picked up her cell phone and hesitated, her finger hovering uncertainly over his name in her contacts.

It wasn't easy or natural for Emily to ask for help, but he could help. Hotch not only knew the law but also knew her and understood the situation. She knew Hotch would be straight with her, but he would also be able to understand where she was coming from. He wouldn't just see her through a lawyer's eyes as a case that couldn't be won. He would want to help her. They were friends.

Taking a deep breath, Emily dialed his number.

A/N: As always, thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. This chapter was probably not the most exciting, but it was needed to set some things up for the next few chapters.