Chapter 19

"Thank you for doing this," Emily said gratefully, holding the door to her condo open for Hotch. "I hope I'm not taking you away from Jack?"

Hotch shook his head. "He's at the movies with his cousins. I'm glad you called."

He was glad she called. He wasn't sure she would after how they left things. Last time they saw each other, he reacted badly to the idea of Emily seeing someone who was an agent. As much as he tried to deny it to himself, it wasn't the fact that she was seeing an agent that really bothered him. It was the idea of her seeing anyone seriously.

It wasn't until she called him for help that Hotch knew he was forgiven. There was no way she would have asked him for help if she was still harboring any resentment or anger. She wouldn't want anyone she wasn't on good terms with doing her any favors.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Emily asked.

Hotch declined politely and followed her into the living room. He'd been in her apartment before, and she'd been in his, but it had been a while, and the condo was new. Her décor had changed, but it was still what he expected from Emily – tasteful and elegant, with little touches that made it uniquely hers.

He took note of the fact that he didn't see any obvious signs of a boyfriend. There were no photographs of Emily with an unknown man. There was only one coaster on the coffee table with an empty mug sitting on it, no sign of a second. There was nothing there that looked like it belonged to anyone other than her. He couldn't help but wonder if there was any men's clothing in her bedroom even though he knew it was really none of his business. He was holding out hope that her new relationship wasn't as serious as he originally thought – and maybe he was looking for evidence, or a lack thereof, to prove that theory.

And if it wasn't serious, then what? Hotch didn't know if he would actually act on the feelings that he didn't even realize he had until he heard Emily talking about the agent she was seeing.

He'd had time to examine his feelings since their lunch that day, and he was self-aware enough to recognize his jealousy for what it was, even if he wasn't proud of that particular emotion and didn't really understand where it was coming from. He knew there could only be one reason for that kind of jealousy. There could only be one reason he didn't want to think of Emily being with another man – someone who wasn't him. He wanted to be with Emily.

For most of his life, he'd only been with one woman. Haley was his high school sweetheart. The only woman he'd had a serious, long-term relationship with since Haley was Beth. With Beth, he got to know her when they were trained for a triathlon together. The progression from training partners to actually dating was very gradual. Hotch was cautious about bringing another woman into his life – and more importantly his son's life. At the time, he was Unit Chief of the BAU and a single father, and he felt like Jack deserved every minute of his spare time outside of work. His job took him away from home often enough without him leaving Jack with Jessica so he could go out on a date with a woman he hardly knew. Aaron Hotchner didn't enter into his relationship with Beth lightly. It took some encouragement from Rossi and unwavering patience and understanding on Beth's part.

He'd dated since then, but there was never anyone he was serious about. That wasn't to say he dated casually – that wasn't his style. Quite the contrary. He was a serial monogamist. It was more that he'd had a never-ending string of first dates where he knew right away that it would never work. Hotch was never the type to just have fun with a woman he couldn't see himself having a future with. He was looking for someone to share his life with. At this stage of his life, it would have to be the right woman for him to let someone new into the life he'd built with Jack.

It was premature to say the least, but Hotch found himself thinking about how good Emily Prentiss was with kids, his own kid included. She was one woman he wouldn't have any second thoughts about introducing his son to. Of course, Emily had already met Jack, but it was in a very different context than the one Hotch was thinking about now. There was a big difference between meeting one of his friends and colleagues and meeting someone he was in a relationship with – or rather someone he wanted to be in a relationship with, no matter how unlikely the possibility may seem at the moment. He would have to actually be in a relationship with Emily for any of this to matter. He didn't like his chances with her. Until he did, it was really a moot point.

Hotch knew even if Emily were available, which she wasn't, he would take time to carefully weigh the pros and cons, the costs and benefits, the risk versus the reward before doing anything about what he was feeling. He didn't jump headfirst into any relationship. For him to open himself up to another person, there had to be some semblance of trust first, and Aaron Hotchner didn't trust easily. Trust had to be earned, which was one of many reasons he had a tendency to take things slow in any relationship. He would already trust Emily Prentiss with his life but trusting her with his heart was another matter entirely – one he couldn't even contemplate when he knew she had feelings for another man.

For now Hotch resolved to just be there for Emily and help her in any way he could. If they were friends who met regularly for coffee or lunch, he would know if and when she stopped seeing the agent she was seeing. He thought it was probably a matter of when, not a matter of if. It was petty of him, but he fell back on the knowledge that Emily didn't have the best track record for long-term relationships. He could wait for his chance.

They sat down on the couch to talk, with Emily's manners and breeding dictating she start with pleasantries. "How was your Christmas?" She asked him.

"It was good, but that's not why I'm here," Hotch said. He wanted her to tell him what was going on, not endure meaningless small talk neither of them wanted to have when something was obviously bothering her. Judging by the state of her fingernails, she was biting her nails and picking her cuticles again – something she only did when her stress level reached an unhealthy level. Hotch still found it surprising that the woman who exercised such impeccable self-control in most aspects of her life had never managed to break that particular bad habit. It told anyone who knew where to look – her hands – what her state of mind was. "You're biting your nails and picking your cuticles again," he observed quietly. "You're stressed. There's a reason you called, and it wasn't to ask how my Christmas was."

Emily immediately clasped her hands in her lap, trying to hide the evidence. Aaron Hotchner may not be a profiler anymore, but he hadn't lost his keen observation skills. She shot him a baleful glare. "I thought you quit profiling," she said lightly, not really mad. It was her own fault for succumbing to the bad habit she could never seem to break.

"That wasn't profiling," Hotch replied. "That was me knowing you well enough to know when you're stressed out. I don't have to be a profiler to know that. I just have to be your friend. Now tell me what's going on." His gaze was imploring but warm, his desire to help clear in his eyes.

Emily told him that she took Hannah to the BAU Christmas party on Christmas Eve with Steve's reluctant permission and summarized the unfinished conversation she'd had with Steve about scheduling a regular day and time for her to see Hannah.

Hotch raised his eyebrows. "With your work schedule?"

"I know," Emily said wearily. She shook her head, her expression dismal. "It will never work. What do I do?"

"There are several different angles to look at this from," Hotch mused. "Legally you have no case. He knows it, and I think you do to."

Emily nodded dejectedly.

Although he wasn't and had never been a family law attorney, Hotch knew enough about the law to know the outcome wouldn't be favorable for Emily if she were to try to resolve this dispute in court. But that didn't mean he couldn't help.

Emily had never been a lawyer or a single father. Aaron Hotchner had. He thought he knew what - and how - the adoptive father was thinking. Understanding it from his perspective would help Emily determine how best to respond to get what she wanted. It was essentially profiling, and Emily probably already knew some, if not all, of what Hotch was going to tell her, but he had a feeling she was thinking less like a profiler and more like a mother right now. She was too emotionally invested to look at this objectively.

"Most lawyers are competitive by nature. There's no logical reason for him to compromise with you on this when he knows he would win if it ever went to court," Hotch started factually. "His competitive nature could also be why he's only doing this now. He may feel like he's competing with you for your daughter's affections. Christmas Eve scared him because for the first time, he realized she could choose you over him."

"There wasn't even a choice. There were no kids at his party," Emily protested.

"That doesn't matter," Hotch told her. "She said she wouldn't have gone to his party even if she had been invited. He probably feels like she was picking you over him. But if she only sees you on a visitation schedule determined by him, he'll never have to worry about her choosing to spend time with you over him again. It takes away her ability to choose. What he's doing is selfishly motivated. But from everything you've told me, he's a good father." He glanced at Emily questioningly.

"He is," Emily agreed without hesitation. Nothing she had seen so far made her think the adoptive father was anything other than loving and attentive toward Hannah.

"Am I correct in assuming Hannah has no idea any of this is happening?" Hotch queried.

"I don't think she does," Emily told him. Hannah seemed completely unaware of the tension between Steve and her on Christmas Eve. Their lunch meeting to discuss it certainly didn't include her.

"She's fourteen," Hotch said. "She may have accepted it if a visitation schedule was the only way she'd ever been able to see you, but she won't accept it now that she's gotten used to being able to see you at any time. The first time she wants to see you outside of a set schedule and can't, she'll fight for what she wants. Teenagers don't just accept their parents' decisions without arguing. Tell me, what's her father's parenting style?" He questioned. "Would you say he's more authoritarian or permissive?"

Emily narrowed her eyes in thought. She didn't know that Steve fell into one category or the other. She knew he had rules for Hannah. Like any good parent, he seemed to keep tabs on where his child was and what she was doing. He didn't strike Emily as overly strict though. From what she'd seen, Hannah had a pretty normal amount of freedom for a young teenager. The girl had been raised to be polite and respectful but definitely toed the line of respect with her snark and sarcasm at times. "Oh, I don't know," Emily responded uncertainly. "He's not afraid to parent her, but he's not overly strict either. I guess he's somewhere in between."

"But he let her go to the BAU Christmas party with you even though he wasn't comfortable with it," Hotch pointed out.

"He didn't want to be the bad guy in her eyes," Emily told him.

"Exactly," Hotch said. "My gut tells me he won't want to be the bad guy now either. The second she argues with him, he'll backpedal on this."

"So, what, I play along with the schedule until that happens?" Emily asked him unhappily.

It wasn't Hotch's fault that her options here were extremely limited, but Emily didn't know how long she could realistically make scheduled visits work before something came up with work that prevented her from being there for a visit.

"It will happen, Emily. She's a teenage girl, and you're the only mother she has left," Hotch tried to reassure her. Personally, he thought it would be better if Hannah were the one to pick that fight with the adoptive father and not Emily. "But if you don't want to wait, the next time you talk to him, you can try to make him see what's going to happen before it actually does. You can do that without being confrontational by asking a few leading questions. For example, what happens if she needs help with French again, and it's the night before a test but doesn't fall on a day when you have a scheduled visit?"

"He could just hire a French tutor," Emily replied dryly.

Thinking she could so easily be replaced with a tutor was her insecurity in what role she could have in her daughter's life showing through. She tried to hide her insecurity with humor, but Hotch saw it for what it was. He shook his head dismissively. He wanted to shut that line of thinking down. "No tutor would help her at midnight. You only did that because of who she is to you."

"That's true," Emily acknowledged.

"So the question remains – are you allowed to help her in that scenario? Approach it like you're trying to understand the new rules and not challenging them or he may become even more defensive than he already is," Hotch warned her. "And that's the last thing you want. But if you can get him to really think about how this will impact Hannah, he might reconsider on his own. I don't think he'll want to be the only thing stopping you from helping her."

It all went back to Steve not wanting to be the bad guy in his daughter's eyes. But it would be a very fine line for Emily to walk because if he felt like he was forced into the role of bad cop while Emily came out looking like the hero, then Steve would definitely feel like he was competing with her for their daughter's affections if he didn't already.

"Most parents just want what's best for their children," Hotch continued. "I know you want what's best for your daughter, and I believe he does, too. You have that in common. If he sees that you both want the same thing and feels like you're on the same side, he might be more open to working with you on this."

"I can try," Emily said somewhat skeptically. She didn't know what more she could do to show Steve that she only wanted what was best for Hannah.

"I speak from experience when I tell you that being a single father is hard," Hotch said. "And I have a son. Raising a daughter alone would be even harder. Girls are just different. And, by that I mean that it can't be easy for any father with a daughter to watch his little girl grow up. If she hasn't started dating yet, she probably will soon. After all, she is your daughter," he teased gently.

"Hey!" Emily said defensively. "What is that supposed to mean?" She asked. She wasn't sure if she should be offended by it.

"Your mother's Security detail told me how popular you were with the boys in Rome," Hotch told her in a slightly amused tone. "You were, what? Fourteen at the time?" He questioned.

"Oh, God," Emily said with a groan as she wondered how much her former supervisor knew about her activities in Rome. She only told Rossi that she got an abortion, no one else. "I was fifteen, actually," Emily told him. "And just for the record, there was only one boy in Rome. The other was just a friend of mine. A really good friend."

Hotch sensed there was more to that story than she was telling him, but he wasn't going to push her on it. All he really knew was that a boy had been caught climbing down a tree directly outside of the Ambassador's teenage daughter's window in the middle of the night. He wasn't judging her for her activities over thirty years ago. He knew who she was now, and that was all that mattered. The wild child who acted out in a desperate cry for her mother's attention grew up a long time ago.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you've been a teenage girl before. Hannah's father hasn't. He should want you on his side for her teenage years," Hotch said. "If you can get him to see you as an ally instead of the competition, I think it will go a long way. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful," he added regretfully. "But that's the best advice I have for you."

Hotch knew Emily could have gone to anyone with this. She had enough money and resources to hire the top family law attorney in D.C. if she wanted the best legal mind at her disposal. She certainly had the knowledge and skills to get into the adoptive father's head like Hotch had, but, if she was too close to the situation to do that, she also had a whole team of profilers that would have helped her think through it. The only unique perspective Hotch brought to the table was that of a single father. He knew Emily could have gone to anyone with this, but she wouldn't go to just anyone for help.

Maybe he was reading too much into it, but Hotch thought it was significant that Emily came to him. She was placing her trust in him – something he didn't take for granted. It showed that she valued his opinion, and not just as a competent profiler, but as a father and a friend. He wished he could fix this for her, but there was no quick fix or silver bullet. He thought it would work out in the end, but he knew that was little comfort to Emily right now.

"It was helpful," Emily told him gratefully. "Thanks again for coming."

"I meant it when I said I was glad you called," Hotch said. "You can call me any time. I know this can't be easy, and if you need someone to talk to about it, I want you to know I'm here."

Emily walked him out. The friendly goodbye hug she gave him in the hallway was no different than any other time she hugged him or anyone else on the team. It felt different to him though. Now that he was starting to see her in a different light, he was acutely aware of the way her body pressed up against his for the briefest of moments. With the difference in height of a couple inches, his nose was right by the top of her head as they embraced, and he could smell the lightly floral scent of her shampoo when he inhaled. He found himself missing the scent when she stepped back, none-the-wiser to the effect the close contact, however fleeting, had on him.

Aaron Hotchner definitely didn't see her as just a friend anymore, even if that was all he was to her.


Hannah officially had the flu and an ear infection. She was curled up on the couch in the fetal position with a throw blanket draped over her while she listened to her dad argue with the airline.

According to the doctor she couldn't travel, but apparently neither the airline nor the resort cared about the doctor's orders. It was too late to cancel their reservations. She could hear the frustration in her dad's voice, and even though she knew none of it was directed at her, she still felt bad.

"You can go, and I can stay here," Hannah suggested seriously when he finally hung up. "I can even take care of Alex so we don't have to board him," she added helpfully.

Her dad looked at her like she was crazy. "You must be delirious," he said as he made a big show of feeling her forehead for fever. She did have a high fever, but he knew she wasn't really delirious. "When have I ever gone out of town and left you by yourself?" He asked his fourteen year old incredulously.

"You don't. You leave me with Grandma," Hannah replied unhappily. She loved her grandmother, but as the youngest grandchild, Hannah was very much the baby of the family in her grandmother's eyes. Now that she was a teenager, she really did not enjoy being treated like a little kid.

Steve wasn't actually planning to leave his daughter with anyone. He was going to stay home with her, even if he lost money on the trip. But he did leave Hannah with his mom when he had to go to New York for work, which was usually only a few times a year. His daughter's dismay at the idea of staying with his mom now gave him pause. He looked at Hannah with a startled expression. "I thought you liked staying with Grandma?"

Hannah had a long list of complaints she shared with him from the last time she stayed at her grandmother's, a bedtime chief amongst them. He had to admit everything she said sounded just like his mom. She had a lot of rules for him and his sister when they were growing up that he didn't have for his own kid. He didn't think she needed them. He didn't need to check her homework to make sure she did it. She always did her homework, and she got good grades. With the exception of finals week, she usually went to bed at a reasonable hour unprompted. She woke up when her alarm clock went off without any problem and made it to school on time. He started giving his daughter more freedom when she started high school, and that was what she was used to now. Hannah would have resented following his mom's house rules when she didn't have the same rules at home, not anymore. Steve only did away with some of the things Hannah was complaining about - bedtime, for example - in the last year so the relatively new reluctance to stay with his mom made perfect sense when he thought about it.

"I wasn't going to leave you with her," he assured his daughter as he played with her hair. His mom was in her late seventies. The last thing they needed was for her to catch the flu.

Hannah spoke up again before he could explain he wasn't going to leave her with anyone. And, what she said left him completely flabbergasted.

"You weren't?" Hannah said in a surprised tone. "Wait, can I stay with Emily then?"