AN- insert commentary here.

Chapter 32

"I am so sorry about missing Zolgen." Ereshkigal apologised, looking rather sheepish about the whole situation. The three of us were sat on a bench not too far away from where we'd eaten lunch. "He just... slipped past me! I admit I might have been a little distracted here and there, but I was paying attention, you know."

"No worries." I soothed her. "Zolgen showed up with a Familiar body he formed from within the bistro. So he bypassed your gaze altogether. These things happen." Shrug. "So, why were you distracted?"

"This body." She gestured to herself. "Tohsaka Rin is fairly well known, you know! I had so many people ask me why I'd dyed my hair or if I was waiting for my 'secret boyfriend' or something. Tch – children. Why oh why didn't I just hide on a rooftop somewhere instead?"

"That sounds... awkward." Meaning, actually pretty funny. Ereshkigal trying to pretend to be Rin to fend off her fan club sounded like a very amusing sight indeed and probably very setting appropriate since Fate is like 35 percent stupid hijinks... though also a little depressing, when you think about it a little harder. After all, just what was going to happen when this war ends regarding Ereshkigal? If our contract ends, does Ereshkigal simply leave her vessel behind and leave me to clean up the corpse? And if the Goddess finds a way to stick about, will she attempt to replace Rin or just abandon the identity altogether? Would Tohsaka Rin become just one more statistic in teenage runaways? To Ayako and her schoolmates, would Rin just... disappear one day?

It's a sad truth to remember that I only had this Archer specifically because Rin was dead.

"Hey Margaretha..." I said, shifting away from the awkward topic completely. "Do you think I made the right choice back there?"

"I don't know." She admitted. "I definitely think Zolgen got more useful information than we did... but there were a few useful things we learned."

"The Makiri Magecraft lies in Sympathy... in hindsight it makes sense, but it doesn't really tell us more about the man."

"I disagree." Our resident Goddess shook her head. "I may only know of this second hand from you, but as one with a Magus as a vessel, I say its more relevant than you think. A Magus' nature is inherently tied to their craft. Matou Zouken undeniably fit with the one sided binding of the Matou magecraft... so how does a style based in sympathetic bonds tie to the man he used to be? That is the relevant question."

I accepted her answer – she probably knew better than me in this regard.

"Hmmm... we also know that he'll definitely show up in the War at some point too." Mused Assassin. "According to him, he does have a Command Seal. So if he can sidestep Ruler and acquire a Servant, then he does stand a good chance of pulling off a second win. At the very least, he'd be back in the running/"

"And we know that he isn't opposed to working together against Gilgamesh. So even if I don't like him, I do think he'll assist if only for his own benefit." Because Gilgamesh is an insurmountable obstacle that anyone who wants to win this thing must overcome, one way or another.

Ereshkigal scoffed. "Its amazing just how different he is, yet how much he stays the same. Don't let your guard down. He did kill you James, if only temporarily, and he didn't attain his position and power from mercy and kindness. He can't be considered an ally."

"I never said otherwise." I frowned. I don't need that reminder, considering how every one of my 'alliances' has blown up in my face this war. Doesn't change the fact that I do need allies, even ones such as him. "I know that he's a threat. But if I can use him..."

"That's a big if." The blonde scowled. "Just don't come crying to me when that smiling monster fucks you over again."

If if if. So many ifs. It's not like I wanted to rely on a man like that for aid... but in a situation like this, did I have any choice? I could recruit every other Servant in the war and we'd still struggle against that Demigod.

"I'm not trying to shut you down, but I'm not wrong either." Archer stressed. "I trust you enough to follow your lead for this. After all, you have made it this far on your own. But you should never forget the nature of the poisonous scorpion you're attempting to carry on your back."

"Trust me, I have not forgotten his sting." My thoughts went once more to that terrifying moment when I saw my heart crushed in the Hassan's palm, and felt it too. Ironically enough, Assassin of Blue's Noble Phantasm replied on sympathy between a false heart and a true one to work – just one more reason for why Zouken summoned him, I suppose. "I don't intend to let myself become the frog in this metaphor, Eresh."

"Speaking of not forgetting..." Ereshkigal trailed off, looking somewhere behind me. "Trouble at seven o'clock."

I looked at where her attention lied, and saw specifically what trouble she meant. "Ruler." I called out to the French Servant summoned to mediate this conflict. She was dressed in plain, simple clothing and had a large empty sack hung over her left shoulder - she perked up upon hearing my call. She sped up noticeably and headed straight for me.

"Good afternoon, Master of Grey." She greeted me brightly, the sunlight behind catching her blonde hair and making her look practically radiant. That happy look on her features soured my mood immediately – she always seemed the most cheerful when she was about to screw me over.

"I'm guessing you're looking for me?" Considering my track record of people tracking me down to try and talk to me today, I felt justified in my assumption.

"Actually no. I had completely unrelated business outside today. But this is a fortunate encounter nevertheless and since my task is complete, I have time to spare! Surely, our meeting here today was God's will."

I couldn't help the involuntary eye roll. "Sorry to bother you then." Rather, I wish that I'd never called out, assuming we had business. "I'll leave you to your own thing."

"If you wish." She bowed her head respectfully. "However, you called out to me for a reason. If there is a topic you wish to discuss or you have need to confess, I am always available."

"The only confession I have is that I want to leave this conversation as quickly as possible." I countered. "But... thank you for the offer, even if I'll never take you up on it."

"And why not?"

"Because you kinda screw us over at every turn." Margaretha popped her head into the conversation, wearing a shit eating smile. "I mean, each and every time." The Command Seal bounty on my head, the protection of Makiri Zolgen, her unusual scrutiny on my actions while ignoring the other half a dozen people attempting shenanigans all over the place... "It's kinda hard to be friendly with someone like that."

"Oh, this is about that." She completely waved away the accusation. "I understand why you might have a problem with some of my actions, but from a personal perspective, I acted only within my duties as the Ruler class Servant of this war."

"You think this unfair treatment is acting within the confines of your duty?" The Underworld deity certainly seemed doubtful of that. "Duty is subjective. You fulfil it as best you can, but for what I've seen, you really aren't doing your job as moderator of this war very well at all."

Jeanne d'Arc shook her head. "I think you're misunderstanding the purpose of the Ruler class Servant. Fairness has nothing to do with anything. The Ruler isn't meant to serve as a replacement moderator or help enforce the rules of the game."

"Then what the hell is the Ruler meant to do then, in your oh so humble opinion?" Why yes, yes my tone was incredibly sarcastic.

"I don't claim to be an expert, but this is my personal interpretation of the 'terms and conditions' of my summoning. The Ruler's role is to ensure the completion of the Grail in a safe manner, not necessarily to ensure that the rules of the war are maintained." The Saint began, eyes alight with the joy of sharing. "If the founders cared about rule-breaking, then they would have attached a... Geass, I believe it is called... to the title of Master to ensure that all participants had to follow the rules if they wanted to participate, or something akin to that. Or they could have made the Ruler a standard component of the Heavens Feel ritual once it became a battle to the death and just updated the Ruler vessel's duties to include the enforcement of the rules. For people able to make this War in the first place, it wouldn't have been difficult to do something."

Ruler unfortunately had a valid point – the Grail was a wonderful device capable of supporting more than seven Servants if forced too. Surely it wouldn't have been hard to make Ruler a standard addition to the ritual even if it ended up taking 60 years to charge up rather than 50 (or something like that), and would certainly be a more reliable way to back up the rules with the force of a Servant rather than relying on fallible humans without the power to back up their threats.

"So Rulers ensure that the participants in the war don't go too far and risk the secret of the supernatural to the general public. We guard the Grail itself from harm and direct manipulations, and protect the war from outside parties trying to interfere. We ensure that in an Apocrypha situation like this we don't have a disaster where all fourteen participants unite instead. We have Command Seals to put down any Servant that have the means and ability to directly access or manipulate the Greater Grail itself, as well as those that try to permanently stalemate the system..."

"So what, you don't care about rulebreakers?"

She looked a little bit offended at that. "Of course I do. I simply cannot target someone based on what they might do or have done in the past – only what they are actively doing. Else the founders might have been at risk due to their various manipulations." Be careful when handing out guns, in case they end up turning on you and shooting you in the foot.

"If you can't target based on what someone might do... then why the hell do you have a grudge against the Grey Team."

"I have no grudge. In fact, I've been rather lenient." She replied promptly and easily much to my scepticism. "If I did as you suggested and targeted every master to have bended the rules, then you'd naturally fall first anyway considering how your summoning of seven illegal Servants including Eastern Servants and Divine Spirits is most definitely against the rules, ignoring the illegality of you even participating in the first place. Unfortunately, to the Grail you are a threat." The Grail found me to be a threat, so she was obligated to work against me. "As far as Master's go, I actually find you to be very acceptable. Your wish is one I would happily grant. But while you have the opportunity to win, that doesn't mean you have the same fair chances as everyone else. As far as my aims as a Ruler have shown, a Grey Team absolutely victory is very much a scenario that the Founders would have wished to prevent."

"I can unfortunately see why." I didn't like her answer... but I could accept her answer. Jeanne was Lawful Good, but she was summoned as a Ruler in this case more for her 'Lawful' credentials than 'Good' credentials. I could accept her reasoning behind exactly what the Founders wanted the Ruler class to be summoned in response to, and just what their priority should be.

I could even see why when looking through her mindset my situation was so problematic. Hypothetical scenario: what if I had won the last round of the war and claimed a win, with all seven of my Servants intact? What if I left after that, choosing to maintain my contract with all of them? Without the Grail I doubted I could support them all fully, but with my Magic Core, a Caster and a Scathach, I was sure we could finagle a solution where everyone could sustain themselves for at least the near future. The outcome would be just as problematic as the 'seven united Servants' that caused Apocrypha scenarios in the first place, if not worse as they would all be under one Master.

So I could understand, to a certain extent.

"I still don't like you." I confessed. "Maybe you don't see anything wrong with it, but a system that penalises my mostly trouble free team in favour of giving the win to an evil bastard like Zouken just has to be wrong. I think you're working with too much Lawful and not enough Good. I think that Zolgen's bullshit and Gilgamesh's ambitions are like a 100 times worse than the threat I pose. I think you're being waaaay too passive and that if you are so damn worried about potential threats, maybe you should actually go out and do something about it. I think you're just causing more problems than you're fixing."

"You are entitled to that opinion." Jeanne acknowledged. "Perhaps you are correct. I am just an uneducated peasant girl after all. All I know of right and wrong comes from preachers and medieval sensibilities... and that which my Revelations provided. Maybe you do know better. But the Grail chose me of all Rulers for this war, so I can only have faith that God has a reason for why I was called over all others. I believe that there is meaning behind all of us being here,Aberration... even you."

I wasn't done though. Not by a long shot. "I reckon you're gonna regret this at some point. Someone is gonna royally fuck you over at some point, whether that be Zolgen or Gilgamesh or Medea or literally anyone else, and you're gonna regret prioritising me. Hell, Zolgen is already scheming to find his way back into the game. So maybe not today... but someday you'll regret this."

"One shouldn't wish ill on other people." The saint frowned, looking a little bit disappointed in me. "Still, I forgive you for saying such things. But if it does happen... I have faith that it will all have happened for a reason."

She was right. It would have all happened for a reason. Because she focused on the wrong problems. Heh – what was I even trying to do? I wasn't going to be able to change her mind in this matter, was I?

"Fuck it, I'm out." I'd had enough. "You've had plenty of warning. You've seen enough of this War to spot all the signs. If you won't listen, so be it. I won't waste either of our times. I've got prep to do after all."

"Farewell then, Master of Grey." Ruler finally settled on. "I do wish you all the best in the coming conflict."

She wished me all the best... she simply also wished for me to lose.

XXXXXXXXXX

"I have returned, and I come bearing gifts." I announced perhaps a little too cheerfully. Was I overcompensating for my shitty mood earlier to try not to throw morale off? Yes. But was I actually a little better now that I'd had some time away from Ruler to chill out? Also yes.

Hopefully my impulse decision to stop off on the way home would help with that morale problem.

"Hmm, welcome back." Greeted Saber, offering a smile. "How was your little 'date'?"

"Nice until Zolgen gatecrashed it."

"Fuck Zolgen!" said literally everyone almost instinctively.

"All seriousness... are you okay?" Boudica entered the conversation, a gentle look on her face.

"I've been better." I admitted. "Zolgen had a few choice words for me and Ruler showing up afterwards for another chat afterwards didn't help either. I'm trying to remain cheerful and positive, but it's difficult. Yeah, yeah, I'll spill all the details. Nothing to worry about there. But my break from the war would have been a lot nicer if the war left me alone too."

"We can't have nice things." Medea shrugged. "I was hard at work, but my nose is attuned to smell delicious baked goods. Gimme."

I rolled my eyes but complied all the same. I handed over one of the bags I was carrying to her and she eagerly ran away back to her workstation to devour the assorted sweets I'd bought her.

I'd made a quick stop at a bakery on the way back as I was looking for something in particular, and I felt it would be cruel to only purchase for one, and so I got everyone a bag. Dutifully I handed them over to Margaretha who went off to give them to their proper owners – all bags but one.

"This... is for you." I handed it over.

"Oh! Thank you." Boudica patted me on the head affectionately (been awhile since she'd last done that), then opened up the bag. Within was only a single sealed box, which when opened had a single treat for her. "Is this... galette?"

"It is." I confirmed. "I know how much you like it. Was a bit of effort to find a bakery that had it, but I think it was worth the search."

"I'm grateful." She admitted. "Its been a long time since I was last able to eat one of these. Couldn't really cook them during wartime. Gosh, it must have been with... well, a long time ago." With her family, was what she was probably going to say.

"I wanted to say thank you." I told her seriously. "I saw a pretty fucked up dream through the Dream Cycle of your last days... and it reminded me that I really take you for granted sometimes. You've had my back from the beginning and never once has your resolve to support me waned. And while you aren't the strongest Servant, you've always tried your hardest to support me even so. And the wish factor... I appreciate how hard it must be to say that you'd put my own wish first if it came to it, especially after seeing all of that..."

Frankly, I was humbled by her willingness to sacrifice her wish, when my own felt so weak by comparison.

"There, there." Not a headpat this time – just a reassuring hug. "My final days... they weren't pleasant. I really don't like dwelling on them. I am sorry you had to see me at my lowest though. I really am. But I'm okay now! Really! While I certainly intend to aim for my wish as I feel that as a mother I must, I also acknowledge that this isn't my time period. My Britannia is gone, like ash in the wind... wishing otherwise is pointless. So don't worry about anything, okay? I wouldn't be giving this my all if I didn't know how grateful you were, even if you don't always say it."

"... thank you." I leaned into the hug, enjoying the moment. I was glad that this conversation hadn't gone quite as depressing as my one with Margaretha had.

But finally, I pulled apart. Duty called.

"Lunch time is over... you are late." Scathach's tone was as pointed as her spear. "Your baked offerings lessen your punishment, but do not absolve you of your crime. Come – we have many lessons to beat into your head."

"... worth it though. I'll be with you shortly." Lancer accepted my reply, leaving me to finish things with Boudica. "Are we good, then?"

"We're as good as we always are. Go on. I've got a galette to enjoy and you have a teacher to beg for forgiveness."

"Yes, yes." I rolled my eyes. "Later, then."

I left Boudica behind to enjoy her treat, but couldn't help but look back. While Rider was definitely smiling... I couldn't help but feel that it was more brittle than anything even though it was precisely the same as any other smile she'd given me before. I didn't want to doubt her, but was she really okay?

She said she was and she looked it, but even so... I felt a little doubt. Though, it could also just be my own paranoia from that dream sequence when I saw her at her lowest and darkest.

But if she wasn't okay, I had no clue how to handle that either. I could only hope that if a problem did come up, that we could tackle it together and that it wouldn't effect us during combat.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Aaaand... there we go." I sighed, allowing myself to relax. That had been rough – I'd realised midway through that the sizes were just off and had to scrap a whole chunk of finished work just so I could repeat it all a little more carefully. Even so – one more piece completed. I set the barrel component to one side alongside the microscope tool I'd been using to scrutinise it closely and marvelled at just how progress I'd actually made.

Not complete – nowhere close. Give it a day or two more, then maybe. Even so, to get even this much of a functioning Mystic Code so quickly is an achievement in of itself considering how I was a Magus with less than two weeks of total experience.

"Coming along well?" Medea asked, sticking her head over, unable to hold back her curiosity any longer.

I gestured to the work. "Take a look yourself."

"Okay!" And with that, she picked up the piece and started to thoroughly investigate it. Under her direction I saw my runic arrays light up dimly one by one as she methodically checked each portion – ensuring that there were no serious errors. Finally, a nod. "Yup. Runes aren't my thing, but this isn't bad. I could probably do better, but for a modern Magus, not bad at all!"

I rolled my eyes. "I could give you the Mona Lisa and you'd probably still tell me 'meh, it could use some work'. You're a perfectionist Medea."

She winced a little. "I'm not that bad. I mean, my own Teacher would have probably destroyed this already out of sheer dissatisfaction." Dear lord, she really did think she was being reasonable. Wonder how bad Circe would have been instead?

I offered out my palm and she complied, returning the component to my hand so I could put it to one side with the other stuff.

"What time is it anyway?" I yawned, my tiredness finally catching up with me. It looked like sunset had already passed, but aside from that?

"Almost seven." She admitted. "Boudica sent me here to grab you because its dinner time. And after that, it'll be time to go on patrol and see if we can spot anyone."

I was suddenly acutely aware of just how hungry I actually was. That moment when your concentration ends on a creative project and your body starts screaming at you for attention... yeah, its time to call it quits for the day.

"Well, at least its been a productive day. How did your end go?"

"Very well!" She gave a thumbs up. "The escape route is in place. But..."

My eyebrow raised sharply. "But what?"

"I kinda have to manually trigger it. So if I die first, you're kinda doomed. Tee he~" She rapped her own skull absent mindedly and winked at me.

"Te'e hee' my arse!" Even so, we were both smiling. Banter like this wasn't too bad every now and then.