Bright orange and pink give way to purple and blue as the light of day fades with the sun. Thousands of stars are already shining bright in a glorious display of patterns and galaxies. Knuckles has a bonfire going. Amy brought a picnic to enjoy consisting of an assortment of small cakes, sandwiches, and fruits.
Knuckles is mindlessly gnawing on a strawberry as he stares blankly at the flames licking at the wood below and rising glowing embers into the sky. He vaguely hears the others conversing next to him, but he doesn't pay them any mind. He is content to just be here, with them.
Until Sonic asks a question.
"So, buddy, what do you wanna do for your big day?" Knuckles isn't looking, but he can just hear the grin in Sonic's voice.
Knuckles visibly tenses, and he knows he has revealed something with the action, because a deafening quiet follows. Even the crackle of the lively fire seems muted now. He doesn't have to look up to know all eyes are on him.
Bad, this is very bad. Why would Sonic ask that? Scratch that, why didn't Knuckles prepare for this?! Of course they were going to ask, it's in three weeks! They always ask what he wants to do! He should have rehearsed, come up with a cohesive lie in case this topic came up.
Instead, he is left floundering for an acceptable reply. All of a sudden, the wind gently tussling his quills feels harsh on his skin, and the fire cracks a little too loud.
"Uh, what big day?" Knuckles practically croaks it when he finally makes eye contact with his friends.
They all make the same face.
Abort, abort! Knuckles does what he can to mask the panic taking over his insides. To his credit, he wills his heart to beat at a normal rate. Their eyes burn into him with a certain kind of unease, and it makes him feel sick. He knows he has given himself away, and he is frantically searching for a way to patch up this hole before they look too deep. Or, in the worst case, a way to escape.
He cannot get into this with them. He knows what they will say, and he can't hear it right now.
It is a little embarrassing; Knuckles has to make a conscious effort to keep his face as neutral as possible. He doesn't even notice he has dropped his strawberry.
Sonic, who has that look in his eye that means he is thinking, puts on a smile. Knuckles hates how easy it is for him to hide what is going on in his mind sometimes. The blue hedgehog chuckles, in that way he always does when he's about to say something risky.
"Oh, Valentine's day!" Sonic shakes his head and squints in Knuckles' direction. "Your birthday, obviously." He says, and he raises a brow.
Goosebumps blossom on his skin, and Knuckles can't tell if it is because of the breeze that has passed over him, or hearing that word roll off Sonic's tongue. Ancient rituals and prophecies roll through his mind in quick succession, it sends a bout of nausea churning through his stomach. He clasps his hands together, because he knows if he follows through on plucking at his quills, his friends will really know something is wrong.
Knuckles is overcome with a sense of urgency, it's almost like the Emerald is screaming at him. It's not, it glows patiently and constantly on the shrine a short distance away. This is all in his head.
He scrambles for something to say, something to fill the quiet that is starting to settle. Silence breeds thoughts, and thoughts breed more panic. He promised himself he wouldn't think at all today.
Really, he thinks it might be a promise to them, he's not going to put this on them, not when they have come this far to see him. They should enjoy their time here.
So, he says the first thing that comes to mind. "Uh – I don't want to do anything at all, actually." He blurts it out clipped and fast, almost too fast to be properly understandable. He stands abruptly and scans the area around him. Aha, he's found an out.
"We need more firewood, I'll be back." Knuckles states, and everyone knows he's just avoiding moving this conversation along. He stalks off, and his chest grows colder as his distance to the lively fire grows further, and further.
Tails utters only one thing. "Well, that's not good."
He idles around the blocks of wood that he prepped this morning for a good ten minutes before he gets the guts to return.
They are giggling hysterically at something Sonic has done that Knuckles missed. He's silent when he approaches, and he thanks his ancestors, because they don't say anything. They just keep laughing, and Knuckles can actually breathe. They continue as if nothing happened.
He thinks they'll leave; it is what they discussed beforehand. They're all just so busy, it makes sense that they can only stay a day. It's a hassle, only staying a day, and Knuckles is very grateful that his friends even bother going through the trouble – But It's what he's banking on. He made the commitment to keep it together for today, and he's done a good job! He's kept the tremors in his hands under control, and he has barely even thought of his talk with Tikal.
But he can't promise tomorrow. At all.
So, when Amy makes a call, and Sonic makes a call, and Tails makes a call, all canceling their plans for tomorrow – something clenches in his chest as if someone's hit him there.
"We just thought that since it really has been forever since we've seen you, we'd make a trip out of it!" Tails explains innocently, eyes shimmering with something Knuckles can't figure out. Immediately he is suspicious. Amy and Sonic are giving each other knowing looks and Tails is suddenly much clingier than he was earlier.
He attempts to pretend like he's not terrified of what this could mean. Because he should be happy, ecstatic even! His friends want to be here, want to spend time with him, and that gives him more time to be distracted.
But he knows they are starting to worry – which is already making him dizzy – and at this point it might be a lost cause to feign serenity.
He laughs it off and finishes with a curt nod. They all walk together to his cabin, where he helps to set up enough cots for them. They share some light-hearted conversations and Knuckles can almost pretend things are normal. (Although really, he is only trying to fool himself, his friends are too perceptive to fall for this.)
Knuckles feels like he's not really here, like he is watching his body move as he struggles to control his shaking hands as he makes everyone tea. Vaguely he realizes that he cannot recall if he doused the fire before they started walking here. He rationalizes that he has always taken great care to put out any flames, so surely, he did.
But he can't remember, so he soothes himself by taking a few frantic glances out the window by his sink while he works. When he doesn't spot any plumes of smoke obstructing the night sky's shining excellence, his mind settles a little in relief.
He hears his friends shuffling around in the main living area, chattering amongst themselves while they wait for him. Tails and Amy seem to be arguing about something, but Knuckles can't glean the context, so he tunes them out and returns to his task. The kettle rumbles erratically as the water inside comes to a rapid boil on the stove. The stove Tails built for him years ago. (That kid can build anything he puts his mind to.)
He removes the kettle from the heat right as it begins to whistle at him, and takes care when he pours the water into the four little cups he's set out. Color explodes from the teabags he has prepared as he fills them to the brim.
He's given each of them a different blend – he's known them long enough to know which ones they prefer – and tied a different dried flower to the ends of the teabags so he can tell the difference.
Amy likes his licorice root blend. He adds some dried raspberries and ginger, to even out the taste. To him it just tastes like pure sugar, but Amy has always loved it since he first concocted it for her, so he keeps a few bags of it prepared.
Tails gets Moringa tea. It's a rather benign blend but Knuckles usually lets it steep a little longer just so it has some more flavor. Tails enjoys adding honey, so Knuckles doesn't worry too much about making a complex blend for him.
For Sonic, he gives a Goldenseal blend. He's not sure why Sonic of all people would enjoy such a bitter tea, but he does. Even if it's not for him, Knuckles can't stand the taste on its own, so he adds some cinnamon sticks, and some lemon rind.
For himself, he decides he is craving a simple lavender. He adds a few spoonful's of sugar, (which he never did before he knew Amy) and leaves it to steep on the tray. In the corner of his vision, he eyes a flash of blue as Sonic flails enthusiastically, there's a rise of laughter along with the movement, so he must have said something funny.
Knuckles stills, he realizes his heart is hammering in his chest, and he can't stop himself from leaning both hands against the counter to steady himself. He doesn't want to go out there yet – his hands are shaking too much; he'll certainly drop the teacups if he tries carrying them out now – and one particular thought is keeping him anchored in place.
"This is the perfect time for a confrontation." Screams someone unrecognizable in his head. It's coming, he knows – he knows. They're so caring, and he is so grateful they are, but with that fondness comes curiosity. A bit of bile threatens to escape the confines of his throat, he feels his spines bristle with the effort to contain it.
He is panicking, worse than he was earlier today. He doesn't even know why; his mind is a fog, and he is doing whatever he can to keep it that way. If his mind settles, he's terrified of what he might do. He might run, he wants to. He wants to run and hide in a hole underground, or in a cave, he doesn't care.
He hasn't felt this way in years, he honestly thought he was past this. But the idea of forcing sympathy out of his friends is making him sick.
Knuckles tries to center himself – like he's done several times today – but he can't manage it. He is cornered in his own kitchen; his friends wait patiently for him to emerge. He doesn't want to shut down, doesn't want to get mad at them because ask questions.
He remembers Rouge saying something about a "Defense mechanism." but he can't remember any details. Either way, he really, really doesn't want to out there yet.
Maybe this was a bad idea; maybe he should have told them not to come in the first place. He could have moved the island out of reach, somewhere in a hemisphere they have no way to get to outside of a Chaos Emerald. Or maybe he could have just made an excuse – He's not feeling well, or one of the deer is preparing to give birth – something he could say that would deter them from seeing him. From seeing how pitiful he is.
He grips the counter's edge a little harder. Not too hard, he could break it if he doesn't control himself, but it's enough to relieve some tension wracking his nerves. His bleary eyes find the tray, he should really take the teabags out, they have been steeping for a little too long now, he hopes his friends won't mind the strong flavors.
In a moment of enraged determination, Knuckles sucks in an aggressive breath that stings his lungs. He recalls the mental fortitude and steadfastness he held himself to during the resistance. He couldn't afford to feel the anxiety afflicting him now, every second was precious and could only go toward the mission.
Knuckles tries to muster up that conviction now. He succeeds in a way, it's a warped, half-baked kind of conviction. Temporary, but maybe it will tide him over long enough to stand what is coming.
With his newfound artificial confidence, Knuckles wills his posture to straighten. It feels a little surreal as he is finally steady enough to hold the tray without shaking. He idles by the door frame a second longer, re-accessing his own state one more time before he makes his presence known. Their giggles persist even now, like a sweet melody to his ears.
Knowing that his friends are still enjoying themselves despite his awkward display at the bonfire helps take some of the edge off.
Deciding that procrastinating any longer is pointless, Knuckles dives in before he can think too much about it. All eyes find him as he passes the threshold into the living area, and he tries not to feel like a mouse in a trap. He manages to find his smile in the dark caverns of his awkward expressions, and he might even wager it looks real.
"The sugar and honey are in the kitchen," Knuckles gestures with his head. "… I'm not grabbing it for you." His grin turns snarky as he rolls his eyes and moves to pass them, setting the tray on his center table. It's surrounded by bean bags he made himself (he doesn't really have the resources to get the couches Sonic wants) and plops into the one farthest from the rest.
Maybe some distance will give him some ground to stand on. Tails and Amy give some protest but both retreat into the other room to grab their sweetener of choice. He thinks he can also hear them rooting around his pantry. Knuckles snickers, grabbing his tea from the table and blowing away the steam rising from his cup. He nearly chokes on the sip he takes when the realization hits him.
He's alone with Sonic right now. Alarm bristles his spines again and he scrambles to find him. Green meets purple, and Knuckles swallows back a lump in his throat when he sees that smile Sonic only gives when he knows something.
He tries for nonchalance, loosening some strain in his shoulders and back so he appears even slightly relaxed. He can't tell if the gesture does any good, Sonic is just as unreadable as before. Knuckles takes another torrid sip of his tea, managing to pull his eyes away from Sonic's unrelenting stare. It goes down hard in his throat, but he barely registers the burns on his tongue.
"I'm not gonna pretend things don't haunt me," Sonic breaks their tedious quiet, and Knuckles is looking at him again. All he can find in himself to do is shake his head, quizzical. Sonic continues.
"I think about it all the time, which isn't something I normally do." He says it with a certain coolness, almost detached. Knuckles just stares wide-eyed. Sonic does not usually talk like this; it's leaving him a little spooked.
Sonic laughs, and it's hollow, Knuckles shivers. "Usually, I can just go with the flow, let things roll off my back, you know?"
Knuckles is able to remain at least semi-grounded, and nods. Perhaps a little too roughly.
Either way, Sonic takes it and shrugs. "… But lately that hasn't been as easy for me, since… Well." He stops, looking a little helpless.
"Since the resistance." Knuckles supplies. His mouth feels dry and sore.
Sonic gives him an appreciative nod. "… Yeah… Anyway, when I feel that way, it sucks." Sonic's mouth spreads to make a grin as he says it. Knuckles tries and fails not to appear completely flabbergasted that Sonic is smiling while admitting something so raw.
"It sucks bad, I mean, I'm really not used to feeling like that… but, when I find myself in that mindset, I know I have people I can talk to."
Knuckles visibly tenses, and his breath catches. Whatever resolve he built up in the kitchen is draining out of him at an alarming rate. He was expecting this, but he underestimated how much he did not want it to happen. Internally, he thinks that in theory, he could argue that Sonic is the absolute worst person to be talking to him about this. When thinking of Sonic, "Very open about his true feelings" is not something that comes to mind. At all.
Knuckles can't help but raise a doubtful brow. Sonic doesn't seem to notice, or he doesn't care.
"I have so many people who care… Tails, Amy… You." Something shifts in Sonic's eyes, and Knuckles feels like he's being read. "We all… Take care of each other, Knux. We're a family, you know?" Sonic's ears pull back just the slightest amount, but Knuckles still sees it.
"You do know that, right buddy?" He finishes, and Knuckles can tell the question is genuine.
And then silence. It's a little pathetic, but Knuckles can't find anything to say. Well, he can actually, he should be jumping at the opportunity to yell – scream – "Yes! Of course, I know that! It's the only thing I do know!" it would take some pressure off him, and it's completely true.
But he can't bring himself to reply. He has been to hell and back with these people, with Sonic, and Knuckles' throat has closed on him.
He opens his mouth, hoping he'll at least make a sound.
"I'm telling you Knux, you could seriously sell this honey and you would be richer than all of us." Amy states with a laugh when she reappears from the kitchen. Her arms are full with the aforementioned honey, and several bags of assorted dried snacks Knuckles had stashed away.
Tails is right behind her, sugar in one hand and milk in the other – he really should thank Tails for introducing him to the beauty of a refrigerator – he also has a sweet bun stuffed into his mouth.
Quietly thankful for this interruption, Knuckles gives her a playful scoff. "Technically, I'm already richer than all of you." He says it in a way that he hopes is casual, he still feels Sonic's prying eyes on him.
Amy sends an inquiring look his way as she finds her spot on her beanbag. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Knuckles rolls his shoulders before moving to take another sip of his tea. It's not so hot anymore – He made it a little too sweet. "I'm a treasure hunter, Amy," He deadpans, head gesturing towards the shelf he built for himself, which displays some of his most extraordinary finds.
Tails uses his knee to push his beanbag closer to Knuckles, flopping onto it with a grin. Knuckles pretends not to notice this. Tails swallows the last of is sweet bun. "You've also got an island's worth of Echidna currency lying around, which historically –" Knuckles ducks his head, avoiding Tails' flailing arms while he talks.
"– The Echidnas were very rich, and extremely advanced for their time. So, a majority of their coinage has been reported to be precious metals – Gold, Silver, even rare gems –"
"– Okay, Okay, you've made your point, Miles, Knuckles is rolling in it." Amy interrupts Tails' detailed explanation with a roll of her eyes and a sip of her tea. Amy crosses her legs and huffs; playful annoyance radiates off her in waves.
Finally, she gives Knuckles a sweet smile. "I was just trying to say that your honey is delicious."
Knuckles chuckles, shaking his head at her. "I'll tell the bees you appreciate their work."
She gives an acknowledging nod, fishing through her bag of dried treats to find a raisin.
The anxiety stinging under his skin subsides the slightest bit, Tails and Amy's playful chattering act as good white noise. It doesn't seem like they want to confront him, at least not yet. He chips into the conversation every now and then, but otherwise lets them own the room.
He chooses to pretend he doesn't notice Sonic still staring at him. Pretends he doesn't notice he hasn't even touched his tea.
Pretends he doesn't know he has completely dodged an important question.
The hours pass quicker now that it is night, lips become loose and sleepy as everyone grows more and more weary. The air in the room is light and sweet, as if Knuckles never said a single thing. Vaguely he is suspicious that this is by design. That is friends are acting so cheerful all of a sudden. Not to be mistaken, they were happy before, but now it seems almost… Artificial.
Knuckles decides not to complain. He would rather have this manufactured tranquility than an intervention. Who knows what his friends would do.
He is avoiding sleep again, and is acutely aware of how unhealthy this is becoming. He won't fight when fatigue comes to claim him again, but Sonic's voice is still ringing in his ears, and upon reflection, it sounds eerily like Tikal.
Leaning against the door frame of his cabin, Knuckles regards the Master's glow where the gem rests on the shrine a short distance away. The timbre of its ethereal melody is soft and drowsy, as if all of today's excitement has tired it out.
Rationally, that isn't possible. The Emerald is an endless well of pure chaos and power, so to say that it grows sleepy in any sense should be ludicrous.
Except, Knuckles knows the relic better than anyone, so perhaps it's not so ridiculous. Not if he is the one who says it. Maybe.
He eyes Tails in the corner of his eye, through the door he has cracked open. The fox is sleeping blissfully on his stomach, his gangly limbs spill from his beanbag and onto the floor. He's smiling, so Knuckles surmises he must be having a pleasant dream. There's a mild twinge of envy in his chest.
With a sigh, his gaze returns to the Emerald's vibrant light. Sonic disappeared for a late-night sprint a little while ago, Knuckles isn't sure where. He could reach out and find him if he wanted to, just close his eyes, and look for that bright and constant scream of Sonic's aura.
He doesn't. He is perfectly content sitting right here. Besides, Knuckles knows the value of giving people their privacy.
Amy should be asleep, he thinks, but Knuckles is pretty sure she is not. He is fairly certain her heard her talking on comms in his room. Whenever the four of them are together on his island, he always gives her his bed, while the boys take the beanbags. He didn't before, but at some point, Rouge gave him a very enlightening lecture on "Treating your lady-friends right," and to be perfectly honest, he is still not 100% sure what that means.
Blood rushes to his face, and he is thankful no one is there to witness his awkward display of bashfulness.
Regardless, Amy is just as bad at sleeping as he is, whether it be on a beanbag or a bed. She makes excuses whenever he brings it up to her – video calls in the dead of night, when she certainly should be resting – but he knows that it is another thing to blame on the resistance.
(Eggman, Eggman. Blame him, not them.)
Every so often, he prays to whoever will hear him, that her nightmares aren't as colorful as his are. It brings sour taste in his mouth to think of any of his friends experiencing that, but it feels especially delicate when it's Amy he is considering.
Knuckles hasn't actually seen Sonic sleep in months, even before this gap between physical visits. Whatever quiet sanctuary he has found on the island, he's not sleeping either.
It's selfish, but Knuckles finds it a little comforting. He isn't the only one restless tonight, it helps him feel a little less alienated.
A light breeze tussles his quills and he shuts his eyes. It feels nice on his skin, the wind was a comforting touch long before he ever knew anything else, and it is still there today to calm his nerves. His nerves that are still fried from today's events. He knows full well that Sonic is expecting to continue their conversation.
That's the way "Serious Sonic Talks" are. Even if you tried to avoid it, rest assured it will be finished. But only after Knuckles has spent several days agonizing over what the hell he should say.
Knuckles sucks in a breath through gritted teeth. He has enough dread already coursing through him, he doesn't need Sonic's vague emotional insights weighing him down even more.
Whatever, Knuckles does what he can to push it out of his mind. His gaze finds the door again. Wherever Sonic is, Knuckles doesn't want Tails to wake up alone. One more glance is cast at the Emerald. It is minuscule, but the relic flickers at him, as if wishing him goodnight.
Perhaps it is silly, but Knuckles nods back, taking care to keep the door from creaking as he shuts it. He stands there for a moment, trying to recollect himself before he tries to rest.
Stepping over Tails sprawled limbs is a bit of a challenge, and Knuckles is thankful he is able to see well in the dark. He finds the bean bag with the most holes (they aren't very quill friendly) and drops into it with a thump.
It isn't very comfortable, but his eyes start to droop the instant he settles. Evidently his exhaustion was more extreme than he realized. Amy's melodic tones echo through his head as consciousness slips away from him.
Knuckles dreams tonight.
It is disjointed and dark, he can't make out any distinct details. He does know it's a pleasant slumber. His stomach feels light and airy, like gravity is suspended.
Tikal appears, she does not say anything, but she does give him a loving smile. She leans in to give him a motherly kiss to his forehead. Warmth spreads from the point of contact, and Knuckles is laughing before he realizes what's happening. The feeling is just so nice, he doesn't know what to do with himself.
Sonic stands beside him. Knuckles is not sure if he was there before, but doesn't care enough to look into it. He doesn't say anything either (Knuckles has never been good at recreating Sonic's voice anyway), but he does put an affectionate elbow on his shoulder, which is a little awkward, because Knuckles is a lot taller than him as of recently.
Still, he somehow makes the gesture work. Knuckles giggles a little more, there is an infectious giddiness filling his lungs more and more with each breath.
He has not smiled like this in a long time, Knuckles thinks. Everything is alright, his friends are here, the Emerald is safe, Knuckles is safe.
Wait, is he? Hold on, what is that – there's something behind – is it in his head?
Wake the fuck up right now!
His eyes are wide and uncomprehending as he jolts awake. Adrenaline is already coursing through him like the rapids of Hydrocity, he can't even see straight. Sleep is still fighting that panic, trying to tell him to go back to sleep, but a greater fear takes up his attention.
Knuckles nearly trips as he hops up from the beanbag he had previously been comfortably resting upon. His legs shake for a few seconds and Knuckles has to find the confidence that he isn't going to fall over.
When he does find that assurance, Knuckles takes several short breaths – briefly he is thankful his throat has not closed on him again – then closes his eyes tight. His head is a flurry of different thoughts all converging at once, but Knuckles ignores them to focus on the one thing that is still, he finds the Emerald.
It's power blooms in his chest like a kind hello, and the effect is instant. His mind is slow to move – he is still rough with sleep – but eventually he is able to settle into a controlled calm. It is purely a functional feeling, born out of necessity, there is an itch he needs to scratch.
Knuckles mouth opens, and he exhales low. He does a quick headcount. Amy, Tails, Sonic, Himself, and…? Panic briefly spikes in his veins, who the hell is on his island? Who the hell thinks they can sneak onto his island with this many people on it!?
This aura is nearly silent, but still noticeable. The tones are almost intentional, like every beat has a purpose. It is usually… Tranquil? Is that the right word?
Understanding floods him, he knows who is on his island. No one is sneaking onto his island, the Master is safe, although it might have to deal with the petting and pawing of a jewel obsessed spy. Knuckles inhales, then exhales, trying to expel the burst of energy that had stolen his sleep.
With it passing, he sinks back into his bean bag, letting an exhausted groan escapes his lips, and he gives a few soothing rubs to his temples. The pressure release helps to ease some tension building in his head, he might have just saved himself from a headache.
Then, Knuckles is puzzled, and he opens his eyes, the dark orange of the terracotta ceiling fills his vision. Something unfamiliar seizes in his chest, what is Rouge doing here? His eyes trail to the bean bag beside him. Tails is suspiciously missing from the spot, which Knuckles noticed as soon as he awoke, but it does bring in the question: How long was he asleep?
He feels the sun still rising, it is still early, only a few fragments of light peak through the curtained windows, the sky is still in the process of changing from dark blue to pink.
Knuckles sits up again, his eyes find the doorway to his bedroom. Amy isn't in there anymore, in fact, she is several miles away. Upon further investigation, he finds that all of his friends are several miles away… All together.
The puzzle pieces click together.
Oh no, oh no, no, no.
This is an intervention. Amy wasn't taking care of business last night, she was calling for Rouge – this is bad. His stomach drops, and his mind starts to spin again – he's dizzy. This was a mistake, why did he have to give himself away?
See, the thing with Rouge is, that despite being perhaps the most infuriating woman he has ever met, she is also the easiest person to talk to. His lips grow loose around her collected and serene wavelength, and he just… He talks to her. Knuckles does not know why. Maybe because she treats him with a certain kind of respect other people don't, while also telling him when he is being stupid.
Maybe it's because she checks on him, more than other people (he doesn't know why she does that), or perhaps it is because she is herself around him, even if it means annoying him.
Well, maybe it's because despite all of that, Knuckles knows she cares. Whatever it is… If she asks him to be honest, he will be.
Which is very, very bad. His friends are evil, why would they do this? Should he hide? That's his first thought. There are thousands of good places on the island that he knows for a fact no one else knows about. His friends could tear apart the island rock-by-rock, and they would never find him.
And then, he finds himself outside, when did he run outside? He must have staggered out of the houses' stifling air in his panic. His eyes scan his surroundings frantically, and he does his best to dismiss the disturbing thought that he doesn't have full control of his body. He takes to his knees, struggling to locate his composure. He tries not to damage any flowers sprouted around him.
He briefly checks if he is breathing – he is – but his stupid hands – they are shaking so badly he grips his biceps to stop the movement. His friends won't even need Rouge to tell them if he is faltering, his tremors will do the job for her.
Knuckles doesn't want his friends to worry about him. He can't stand the thought of it, they are all so busy – he is busy, they cannot be wasting energy thinking of him. Especially when this is all so stupid, he is being so stupid. Nothing is wrong, everything is fine, he is just making a big deal out of… Something that shouldn't matter.
But it does matter, it matters a lot. Everything is going to change, and Knuckles is not ready.
A shiver travels up his spine when the wind picks up around him, and something compels him to find the Master. He isn't comforted when is eyes land on it, his body naturally reaches for it. It was peaceful last night, today it almost feels apprehensive. Well, maybe he is just projecting, it's not an exact thing.
He bites his lip, he isn't Sonic. He could easily run away and hide right now, but Knuckles doesn't really run. He recalls the many battles fought in the resistance, the many times he insisted on seeing the battle through to the end, even if things looked bleak. When did he stop being that strong and steadfast commander?
(Maybe he never was that person, maybe he is just a very good liar.)
Letting go of himself, Knuckles shuts his eyes. His friends are here, and he knows what they want, there is no hiding from that. If he can do everything he did for the resistance, he can certainly face this. He just really doesn't want to.
Knuckles repeats this to himself several times as he finds the will to stand again, the Master wraps around him in a puzzling sort of embrace.
He decides he is going to tackle the day as if his friends had gone home last night as they were supposed to. He does have a lot of work to do… Well, not really, he accomplished a lot yesterday, but perhaps he can find something time consuming that will suffice as a good interruption to his apparently continuous trepidation.
There is a bridge out near Marble Garden, that's on the other side of the island. The trek could be good for him – the island is pleasant this time of day – plus, this way his friends will have to search for him before any deeply personal and uncomfortable inquiries are made.
Knuckles purple eyes find the door to his house for a moment, it might be good to eat something before he leaves. Nausea churns in his stomach and he decides against it, every second spent here leaves his head spinning. The Emerald's presence chokes him with unheard whispers and proclamations that he can't quite understand.
Knuckles clears his mind with a single inhale through his nose. He gathered all the supplies required for the repairs about a week ago, Knuckles recalls. All he needs to do is fix the bridge.
"Just fix the bridge." He mutters to the air, quiet enough that it passes his lips like a fleeting breath. Lastly, he gives his arms a good shake, in hopes that getting some blood flowing through them might help alleviate the unending shudders wracking them. Then, he reasons his efforts are good enough to set off, and he begins his hike.
The bridge is a lot more dilapidated than Knuckles remembers. The walkway is an overpass over a particularly vast chasm, it spans a rather short distance, but taking a fall from such a height would be grievous, if not deadly. That is, if you can't fly (or glide by riding the wind).
It appears as if a rockslide, or a rolling log are to blame. Whatever caused the damage, Knuckles has an enormous amount of work to do. At the moment, the path is held up solely by the remaining hand rope that wasn't broken, and it is pulled taut with the tension of holding so much weight.
Leaning over the edge of the cliff, Knuckles sees that in the fall, the bridge lost several wood slats as well. He glances to his prepared pile of supplies; he might need to cut more planks. He utters a few irksome complaints but gets to work.
Something flutters in him, as if butterflies have been set loose in his rib cage, and Knuckles stops. His gaze travel to the direction he knows to be the way to the shrine. His friends are roaming around the clearing, Knuckles theorizes they might be looking for him.
Amy is near the Emerald, it isn't exact, but he thinks she might be on the steps of the shrine. Tails is in the house; Sonic is with him.
Rouge is in the air; they are definitely searching. It is a little harder to assess Rouge's exact location, flying over the island is plenty different from walking on it. It feels more like a bug buzzing around his head, he knows the bug is there, he just can't quite pinpoint where.
Which is a little disconcerting, but he chooses to set that anxiety aside. He'll just focus on getting this done.
First, he has to work on fixing that hand rope. He sees that past Knuckles already started for him, a small mercy to accept. He falls into an easy kneel and takes hold of the partially braided vines he'll use as the rope. His hands move without him telling them to and he gets to work, weaving the material together with such practiced ease he doesn't even pay attention to his finger's movement.
He welcomes the fog that overcomes his mind while he works, the white noise of the morning engulfs his senses.
Knuckles nearly falls asleep where he is. It is not until he jolts upwards after gravity slowly attempted to pull him down. He blinks a few sunspots out of his eyes.
His quills bristle, all standing on end. Someone is near him. The animals have scattered, and something in the wind has shifted. Knuckles admonishes himself, he completely lost track of his friends' whereabouts when he dozed off. Instead of denying that he's been found, Knuckles decides it is best just to skip straight to acceptance. This is all just a ploy by Amy and Sonic to get some answers, he hates that it will work.
He returns to his work. "You know, I didn't invite you." Knuckles says to the hidden listener. There is a pause, and Knuckles holds his breath, then, a rustle of snapping twigs and crunching leaves emanates from his left. He doesn't bother to look over, he already knows who has found him.
"Well, that has never stopped me before, has it?" Rouge says, just out of his view. Hearing her voice is jarring, it holds such a different timbre compared to his other friends. She visited him about two months ago – she had hovered behind him talking with him the entire day while he worked. His throat was exhausted and scratchy by the time she left.
There is only about 30 feet left to braid, he should be done with it shortly. Knuckles shrugs. "I suppose not."
Rouge laughs, that laugh she always does when he's done something amusing to her. Finally, she steps into view, casting a shadow over him as she blocks the rising sun's rays. Knuckles says a few prayers and finds the courage to look up at her.
She looks nice, because of course she does, Knuckles has learned that it is her prerogative to look positively radiant all the time – even if she is covered in bandages or heartbroken over a mission gone wrong.
(Knuckles does hate how his mind must always go back to the resistance.)
Her form fitting jumpsuit and boots are noticeably absent, Knuckles notes. Instead, she wears a loose-fitting blouse with nice floral designs embroidered on the front, and a pair of blue-jeans, (He thinks he once heard Amy refer to the style as "Acid wash," but he can't be sure).
Knuckles doesn't see her in casual clothes very often, Rouge keeps herself busy. That causes a question to rise to his lips.
"You had to fly pretty fast to get here, since Amy called you last night. Doesn't seem worth the trouble, does it?" He asks, violet eyes returning to the vines, mainly so he doesn't have to keep eye contact with her.
"Maybe I was in the area, you don't know." Rouge replies easily, lowering to her knees, she takes to tying some slats of wood to the vines where they will connect. Knuckles is surprised she is making the effort to assist him, but maybe he shouldn't be. He should be freaking out – and a part of him is – but Knuckles is using all of his energy to hide how relieved he feels in her presence.
Rouge has a way of making things easy to process, he can think easier when she is with him. Besides, he knows her game, she won't press him until she feels it is the right time.
They continue in silence, and that is just fine with Knuckles. The longer she waits to make him talk, the better.
A sound of tearing and crunching startles him back to his current task. The vine he was braiding has almost completely shredded in his hands and slips from his fingers and into his lap. He gives a quiet grumble, reaching to assess whether or not he can salvage the vine
Rouge snickers besides him. "Distracted, Knuckie?" She asks fondly, tying another tight knot around a board.
Knuckles crushes the ruined end in his hand and tosses it in Rouge direction. She squeals, and scoots back a few paces before any dirt and dead plant can soil her outfit. He swallows back a laugh but doesn't suppress his impish grin.
A wood piece gets thrown his way and he has half a mind to let it hit his face, just to humor the girl sneering at him. His reflexes make the decision for him, and he's caught her projectile and shoved it back in her direction.
She jerks the plank from his grip and sticks her tongue out at him. He reciprocates and returns to his work.
They move like clockwork to the crunch of dried plants and knock of wood. Knuckles' brain goes a little fuzzy during the entire thing, taking refuge in the atmosphere the two have manufactured. It's familiar, they used to do this a lot during the resistance.
It was Amy's idea in the first place. After a few… Incidents, she purposed the idea that none of them work in a room alone. No one has to speak, just have to be in the room together.
But for the sake of everyone's mental well-being, it was decided that when doing things like reports on missions (failed missions), it would be beneficial for everyone involved if they just… Did it in pairs. Knuckles kind of misses that, yearns for that kind of camaraderie he was a part of, but things change.
Perhaps the way those bonds were tested isn't something he should miss… But he does. Missed how everyone used to check up on each other… Check on him.
"They ask about you, you know." Rouge says, and Knuckles startles so much a few spines bristle and fall from his back. He regains his balance, and Rouge isn't laughing at him like he is expecting her to. Instead, she has a pleasant smile spread across her lips while she finishes another rung.
"What? Who?" Knuckles asks, attempting to keep his bewilderment subtle.
She takes great care as she places the plank to rest on the soft grass and reaches to take the rope Knuckles is still holding over his chest. She repeats the same process of tying while she talks. "The resistance, or – what's left of it," Rouge supplies.
"… Oh," He replies after a long beat of silence. Then, Knuckles grins and a breathy giggle escapes his mouth. "… Why would they do that?" The question is sincere when he asks it, despite his playful – if not a little baffled – tone.
Rouge blanches and gives him another one of those faces. She appears almost… Mortified? Confused? A bit of both? Knuckles isn't sure. Either way, he feels very disjointed under her scrutiny. He's not sure why this look coming from Rouge is what bothers him the most.
Wood long abandoned on the grassy patch next to her, Rouge crosses her arms as if Knuckles has disappointed her in some way, and she's gearing up to give him a lengthy lecture.
"You're being dumb, gem." Rouge says plainly.
Knuckles blinks.
When he doesn't reply, just looks at her completely helpless, she lulls her head to a tilt. "I'm serious – Like, what are you talking about?" All of a sudden, she is pointing an accusing finger at his chest.
"Do you even realize what you did for those people?"
He laughs again and tries to return to work. "I sure yelled at them a lot."
Rouge moves before he has time to register what is happening. Her hands wrap around his wrists, and the contact loosens his fingers, and the vine falls from his grip again (He is never going to finish it at this rate). At first, he thinks she is going to force him to his feet for an impromptu sparring match, it wouldn't be the first time.
But she stops there, her hold on him is surprisingly tight. She looks him dead on.
A single deep, and torturous breath. "Yes, yes you did gem, and that's good." Knuckles gives her a look, and she smiles as if he is being silly. "I mean it, baby, the resistance was a mess before you came around."
Knuckles attempts to chime in. "I mean most of the organization was –"
"- I am not talking about her, sweetie, I'm talking about you. You gave the resistance direction." Rouge giggles, and it catches Knuckles off guard. "I mean… I remember when you first saw those poor techs trying to direct a mission, you almost lost your head."
"Well, they were panicking, I just told them to keep it together." Knuckles asserts, recalling the moment, even if it is rather distant in his mind, he can still remember that day.
Rouge shakes her head, and let's go of his wrists, sitting back. Knuckles tucks his hands under his arms, he hopes it might hide his shudders a little better. "Exactly, you saw how much energy they were wasting, and taught them how to channel their strengths. Knuckles," She waits for him to look at her.
She continues. "… You made an impression on them. You gave the resistance the push it gravely needed."
He can only gape at her. That's another thing about Rouge. At first, she is all talk and banter, suave and effortlessly elegant, Rouge doesn't have to try to talk anyone into anything – all she has to do is speak, in that slow careful way that she does, and all of a sudden, she commands the room. Of course, with an ability like that, lies slide off her tongue with ease. She is an ex-jewel thief turned spy, lying is part of her occupation, and she is very good at it.
Knuckles knows this, better than most people (oh, he is so easily lied to). Rouge could talk her way out of meeting death if she so desired. So, in theory, the woman could be making a complete fool out of him right now, waiting for him to break down and cry into her arms, so she can have a good laugh. (She would never do that).
That's what he would think if he didn't know Rouge. But Knuckles knows Rouge (he doesn't dwell on how nice it is to be confident that he knows anyone). She can fib and half-truth all she wants, Knuckles knows when she is lying, that did not used to be the case, but it certainly is now.
His heart splutters in his chest, and it makes him inhale slowly, eyes still trained on the bat in front of him. Knuckles acknowledges he is being completely transparent right now, but he is stunned. He tries reading her face again – because if anyone is going to read anyone wrong, it's him – but he comes to the same, terrifying conclusion.
Rouge is being sincere. A strange and confusing mix of what he deduces to be pride and horror turn in his stomach uncomfortably. One part of him feels so deeply relieved because of her words. Knuckles doesn't like to think he needs to be told anything, he has grown up alone, he never required compliments or kindness before. But now… Now, he has friends and people who care (people who love) and knows there is so much more than just his island… It truly feels so, so wonderful to be told that he has made a difference. To be told that his actions matter.
The other part of him wants to scream. Because when he really, really thinks about it, he feels the same way he did a few nights ago during his conversation with Tikal. His chest clenches and his quills feel glued to his skin. Knuckles feels that while Rouge has told him what she believes to be the truth, he feels it is built on a falsehood.
He is reminded of his upcoming anniversary. Knuckles snickers and casts his eyes toward the decrepit bridge, the wind scuffles its remains. His voice is soft, almost defeated as he responds. "You know, Amy was the real mastermind, the strategy, the organization, hell, Silver and Vector practically commanded an entire sector, it was all of them. I just –"
There isn't a chance for him to continue, the hands pressed gently to his temples and jaw completely wipe away whatever he was going to say, Rouge has her hands on him again. The touch is like burning embers on Knuckles' fur and a shiver travels down his spine. His wide purple eyes meet Rouges' bright blue, and he is utterly and totally trapped in them.
She is studying him, she has been this entire time, he is aware, but now she is truly looking at him. The entire thing makes him so nervous, but he is too preoccupied with staring to inspect if the shakes in his hands has worsened.
What is really getting him is the expression that is deeply set in Rouge's delicate features. She appears almost distressed, perhaps even worried. This sets off so many alarms in Knuckles' mind he isn't sure he can hear anything else. Rouge does not worry, or if she does it does not benefit her to show it, so she chooses not to.
But the calm, collected, and oh-so-intentional woman in front of him is grieved, over him. That notion sounds so absurd in his head, Knuckles nearly breaks the tension with a nervous laugh.
It is not a question over Rouge caring for him, he is aware of that, (He knows, he knows, he knows) but the concept of the bat ever outwardly stressing over him is completely foreign for him. He can't quite put a claw on it, but the expression doesn't fit her face, or at the very least, Knuckles hates that he is the cause of it.
Rouge seems to make a conclusion and releases a long-held sigh. "Oh gem, the hole you're in is so deep, isn't it?" She asks, so gentle and sweet and caring, a voice that barely sounds like her own. It moves something in his chest and now, he is sighing too, it is shaky and uncontrolled. Rouge's thumbs rub circles into his temples, Knuckles shuts his eyes, he can't fight her.
Her concern leaks out of her the same way Tikal's had, the same way Amy and Sonic's had, but it is so much stronger when it is her. He bites his lip before he comes completely undone, but concedes that this is a losing battle.
If he speaks it is all over, so Knuckles decides it is best just to nod, eyes shut and leaning into her touch.
She hugs him, and he hugs back. There aren't any words, as her wings wrap around him too, trying to protect him from the pain he is already feeling. His shaking has infected his entire body and Knuckles has to stop himself from crying. He isn't quite there, this is about as raw as he is comfortable with, even with Rouge. He is unable to figure out if this sign of weakness is dishonorable.
Knuckles hopes his quills aren't hurting her. She is warm, and her hold on him is tight, like letting him go is breaking a promise. He doesn't want her to, it feels safe here. Not safe like Tikal's place is, safe like his feelings are real, and to be acknowledged. Safe like he is injured but protected.
Absently, Knuckles notes that he has had four hugs now.
He does not keep track of how long the embrace lasts, but it is a long time. Knuckles has broken his own rule and let a hug last, and he thinks maybe he should have from the start. There is no going back now, so Knuckles starts off quiet, his voice is weak as he speaks.
"My birthday is in a few weeks."
She hums into his shoulder. "I know, do you want to know what I got you?"
"I thought it was supposed to be a surprise."
"It is, but I want you to look forward to something."
"… Well, what did you get?"
"A fancy pair of hiking boots, they had a gorgeous pair of thigh-highs, but I thought you might appreciate something more practical." Knuckles can hear the "wink" in Rouge's voice.
Knuckles makes a noise. "… Thank you, I'll love them." He pauses. "… And are "thigh-highs" the kind you wear?"
"You're welcome, and yes."
He scoffs. "Then you couldn't pay me to wear those."
She lets a very Rouge cackle escape, a real one, and silence falls on them again for a while. Eventually, she pulls from their embrace, but her wings stay wrapped around him. She maneuvers to be sitting beside him, and her head finds his shoulder. Part of Knuckles thinks this would be the perfect time to bail out and make an excuse to get back to work.
It's what he should do, this is all such a mess, it shouldn't be Rouge's problem. But she has already shown a part of herself she does not reveal to many, and Knuckles won't dishonor her by dismissing that.
This part is a lot harder to say, his words are like sandpaper to his throat. "There is a ritual among my people…"
"There are many, I'm sure."
"Yes, but this one is very important."
"Oh?"
There is a struggle, Knuckles stops. He has never explained this out loud, and his resolve is starting to melt away. He starts to fidget, he doesn't want to run away, he can't, but he isn't sure he will be able to speak.
Rouge, as always, notices his discomfort, her small hand finds his, and gives it an encouraging squeeze.
Knuckles squeezes back but shakes his head. "If I say it, then it is real."
"It has always been real, gem, you just haven't let it be."
Knuckles tries to find some ground to argue, something to prove that it is all in his head, but he finds… Maybe his head is the problem.
Finally, painfully, agonizingly, Knuckles accepts defeat. "Echidnas are not just red."
At this, Rouge pulls away and looks up at him, she appears a little confused. Her eyes travel between his face and his crest, her palm even reaches to touch it – he allows it. She replies, eyebrows raised. "… I know that, Knuckie."
He shakes his head negatively, then carefully removes her hand. He clears the supplies from his lap and the dirt surrounding them and goes to work. Using his finger, Knuckles traces a crude sketch of what is supposed to be himself in the dirt. He finishes by swooping his claw across Dirt-Knuckles' chest. "I was born with this one, it's a guardian crest, I'm pretty sure every guardian before me had something like it."
Rouge nods, understanding.
Knuckles quickly doodles another dirt-echidna next to Dirt-Knuckles. "But other echidna's did not have anything like it, at least, they weren't hatched with any." He draws an x where Knuckles' crest would be. "… Of course, as the echidna grows older, they start to grow in, white ornate markings," Knuckles puts a few stray lines on Dirt-Knuckles and dirt-echidna.
"They were all unique to that specific echidna… It is believed the markings hold a specific meaning, like they were a gift from Chaos to show how special each echidna was."
Rouge mumbles something next to him, but Knuckles is too busy explaining to hear it.
He pauses, releasing a humorless chuckle. "I suppose a gift from Chaos seems kind of silly now… Anyway, regardless of when the marks started to appear, it was forbidden to allow them to grow in," Knuckles wipes away the lines he drew. "At least… not until…" His stupid, horrible hand, it shudders as he draws the number 18 over Dirt-Knuckles head.
"… Oh," Is all Rouge says.
Knuckles folds his arms again, leaving Rouge to look at his drawings. "When an echidna turns 18, there is a ritual, it is deeply sacred and personal… It is one of reflection, meant to be experienced with your tribe…" His breathing stutters on the last word.
"It is a ritual in which the echidna coming of age is to demonstrate why they deserve to grow their markings in… To prove if they are earned." He finishes, gaze cast to nothing distinct in the distance.
He doesn't dare look at Rouge, he can't bear trying to decipher what she is thinking. He slept rather well last night, but now Knuckles feels as if he has run around the island three times, he is almost out of breath.
For once, the quiet is torture to him, it grates on him like his claws to limestone. He decides to fill it with something, anything.
"I have failed so many times, too many times… Perhaps if things were different, if I was not the only one, the last one, then that would be okay. But I am the last one… I am all there is," Knuckles admits, with a shake of his head. He smiles. "… How disappointing is that?"
And then, nothing. The solemn stillness between them lasts longer than he expects, when he spares her a glance, he sees Rouge deep in thought. Another face he isn't used to seeing on her, so he stares a little longer than he means too. Their eyes meet before he can redirect his gaze, and then he is trapped again.
"Please say something." He pleads, if not just to fill the empty space.
That must snap Rouge out of her stupor, and her ears pull back as if this is truly bothering her. She releases him from her gaze, and she takes a long look at his doodles in the dirt. Then, her mouth turns up into a wistful smile.
"Amy said you were off, she didn't mention you were questioning the credibility of your friend's judgment."
Knuckles stares. "… Huh?"
Her grin grows wider on her face, and Knuckles is too shocked to hide how befuddled he is. Rouge adjusts her blouse, and inches back to his side, her wing wraps around him again, but her eyes are still glued to him. "I mean, last I checked, Amy, Vector, and Silver wanted you to be the commander, but I suppose if you think they chose wrong, then I suppose they are just as much of a failure as you."
He splutters, not understanding this weird angle Rouge is taking. "What – no – that is not what I am saying!"
"No? I thought the decision to make you commander was unanimous… Hm, I must be remembering wrong."
"You're not – but that isn't what I'm trying to say."
"So, you're not saying that you think all of your friends are wrong for believing in you and your abilities?"
Knuckles opens his mouth to reply, then closes it, then opens it again. This repeats several times before his head starts to spin and he rests his it in his palms, propped up on his knees. An exhausted huff rolls off his lips and he groans to himself. Rouge rests her hand on his shoulder.
"I am not as wonderful as you all think I am… I am not." He says it quietly, if it wasn't Rouge he was speaking to, she wouldn't be able to hear it.
Since his back is sharp with spines, Rouge opts to rub careful circles in his shoulder. "No, you are more than that, gem," A finger pokes at his temple. "I don't know the oh-so-sacred details of an echidna's 18th birthday, but I know you, Knuckie. Loneliness and guilt follow you like a dark cloud," Rouge snickers to herself. "I know that kind of childhood would have driven me insane, but somehow, it did the opposite for you."
It is so jarring; Rouge never talks like this. It's not like she doesn't compliment others, but for the most part, it is all superficial. Knuckles always figured she just expects people to already be privy to what is good about them. He must be such a wakeup call to her.
"Hey, look at me." She commands from beside him, it's not at all demanding, almost careful. He does what she asks. Then, Rouge raises herself the slightest bit, so she is at his eye level. Her forehead rests against his, and her voice is just above a whisper as she speaks.
"If anyone on this giant, treasure-filled planet has earned pretty, mystical marks from Chaos itself, it is you gem. You may not believe me, or Amy, or anyone who tells you, but that is the reality." She parts from him, giving him some space. Her hand traces along his collar and up to the nape of his neck, it gives him goosebumps. She is gentle as she takes a few of his dreads in her hands and pulls them back, and smiles as she looks at what it reveals.
Knuckles gulps and is too petrified to move. He knows there are several white marks on his neck that are normally hidden, he can never see them well enough to fully pluck them away. But it is her pleasant face that is the most alarming.
"See? They wouldn't even come in like this if you hadn't earned it, gem." Rouge states, shortly after letting go and eyeing the mess of a bridge. Knuckles had nearly forgotten that he was here to fix that thing.
Her stare remains fixed on the ravine. "You don't believe that, and I can't say how long it will take before you do, but one day you will. Let's just focus on that for now, okay Knuckie?"
Knuckles considers her proposal, and it is almost irritating how utterly hopeful it makes him feel. He should be dismissing this altogether, he has only admitted this because he knows he can't escape it, not because he wants to fix it. Ten minutes ago, there was nothing to fix, just Knuckles being an idiot, which no one should be surprised by.
But Rouge is sitting with him, not sassing him, or trying to get on his nerves, she cares. It doesn't even matter if she sees the marks, she has seen them, she still thinks he is worth something. It makes him come dangerously close to thinking those marks are good… And maybe they are, maybe they are okay to show… Maybe, just maybe.
Rouge doesn't seem to expect a reply from him, her gaze continues to follow the sway of the bridge as it is pulled by the wind. It is several minutes before he opens his mouth.
"… Okay."
She smiles, and nods approvingly.
Apprehension sneaks up on him, and his breath stops in his throat for a moment as a question forms in his already scattered mind. "Are you going to tell the others…?" The inquiry is slow, like he is trying not to give her any ideas.
Rouge answers with a simple, "Not if you don't want me to, gem."
"I don't want to."
Her gaze finds him again. "… But?"
"Maybe I should."
"Maybe, but you don't have to talk right now, they don't have to know just yet. What do you want to do?"
Knuckles just shrugs. "I think I want to be alone, just for a little while."
Rouge makes a noise of acknowledgment and prepares herself to stand. Before she pushes herself up, she leans over him, giving him a sweet kiss to his forehead. It leaves him completely stunned and it takes a lot of strength not to completely fall over.
He registers a giggle, then Rouge speaks. "Okay, baby, you'll know where we are whenever you are ready. We can talk about everything, or we can talk about nothing, I'll follow your lead, okay, commander?"
All Knuckles has in him is an affirmative nod
With that, Rouge spreads her wings and takes off, sending a majority of the rope he has braided flying and nearly cascading down the cliff. She is gone before he gets his composure back. Realization as to what he has just given away, and to whom, hits him like a ton of bricks and out of shock, he lays on his back on the grass.
Rouge won't give anything away, she is a spy, it is her job to obtain and keep secrets. Unless he asks her to, she won't reveal his insecurity.
His conversation with Rouge rewinds and replays in his head for many minutes, and Knuckles can't decide if he believes her or not. Knuckles isn't Sonic or Amy, he doesn't have that blind optimism, or boundless hope that they possess.
But, he wants to, so, so badly.
His friends care for him, they put in so much effort just to be here. Knuckles never stopped to question why. Why do they try so hard, for someone like him? There are so many other, much more accessible friends these people could hang out with, but they choose to be around him. They want to be around him. Knuckles searches, tries very hard to figure it out, but he cannot for the life of him find a good answer for himself.
So why? He doesn't see what they see, can't.
He focuses on what Rouge asked him to.
"One day you will."
