Hi everyone! Who else is excited for Psycomedian to be airing in just over 8 hours? I realized I forgot to mention (though it has now been edited into the first chapter): this fic comes after Truth and Lies (the first two S4 episodes). Minor spoilers for those episodes starting this chapter, though nothing in the show after that point will be in this story.
Thank you for every fav, follow, review, and casual read. You guys really made my day. Thanks, Agiani, Maraja Sargasso, and guest reviewer! I hope I don't disappoint.
Last time on A Mother's Love: Adrien overheard an incriminating conversation between Nathalie and his father, then drifted through the next day before seeing the two suspected villains off for a weekend business meeting in London.
Now, without further ado, here is chapter two, "The Burden of a Hero." Hope you enjoy!
Adrien burst into his room, the door bouncing off the wall and slamming shut behind him. Anger-fueled adrenaline coursed like fire through his veins and scorched through the fleeting remainder of his self-control. He needed to do something with it.
Flinging his bag in the general direction of his bed, he grabbed his basketball and dribbled as he paced. Plagg barely had time to fly out from his overshirt before Adrien had broken into a run and hurled the basketball through the net. He was panting heavily now.
It wasn't enough.
Plagg's electric green gaze met his own wild eyes. The kwami floated towards him.
"Like I said, kid, whatever you need." Adrien nodded in gratitude.
"Plagg, claws out!"
Chat Noir leapt through Adrien's open window and fled to the rooftops of Paris. Chimney after chimney he raced by as he followed the Seine, registering neither the sound of blood pounding in his ears nor the calls of the few eager citizens out in the barren streets below.
The only things he was completely aware of were the pounding of his feet against slates, the biting wind that whipped through his hair and nipped at his face, and the burning pain in his muscles that only fueled his determination. He relished it. He pushed himself further.
Chat Noir felt powerful in a way he could not as Adrien, in pain and alive in a way he was rarely if ever permitted to express as Adrien.
It was terribly ironic, wasn't it, that it took becoming a superhero for him to be able to explore the depths of his own humanity. As Chat Noir, there was no fear of a controlling father, no need to maintain the facade of perfection unattainable even for him, no need to hide from the vulnerability that came with experiencing his own feelings. In choosing to become a hero of Paris, Adrien had finally managed to save himself.
But no one was truly free from the destruction wrought in Shadow Moth's wake, not even the wielder of destruction himself. No matter which way Adrien turned, it seemed his father was destined to haunt his every step.
He kept running until his legs gave out and he collapsed into a heap, lying concealed on the roofs of Fontainebleau. At long last, he was ready for the tears that came pouring down his cheeks.
Chat pulled his hands to his face as he cried. Shaky gasps and hiccups escaped him, trembling shoulders hunched in.
For the first time in months, he allowed his thoughts to linger on his mother, with her sunshine smiles and hugs like honey. He missed her golden laughs and twinkling eyes. He missed the way he always knew just how much she loved him.
But now, he was left alone with his father's icy eyes and stony silences and the gaping hole in his life where his mother used to be. He was left chasing droplets of affection, receiving only the barest hints of love in return for that which he poured into his relationship with the only parent he had left.
The father who had almost certainly spent the last three years donning the mask of Hawk Moth and later Shadow Moth, causing fights in which Chat Noir was pummeled across Paris at least twice weekly. The father who had forced the weight of the world and then some onto the shoulders of Chat's beloved lady. The father who had left him to wonder about the true fate of his mother and was evidently willing to destroy the world and his own son to bring her back.
Tremors raked through Chat's body. He really was all alone, wasn't he? Presumably dead mother, a villain for a father, and the woman he was growing to see like a mother, a villain herself. He couldn't even be fully open with his friends, it would be too risky if they wound up akumati-
Oh. His father had done that. His father had knowingly manipulated Chat's friends in order to get to the ladybug and black cat miraculous. Gabriel had neglected Chat, preventing him from seeking comfort from or confiding in his friends (his actions during the Bubbler incident as either Gabriel or Hawk Moth alone were more than enough to go by), and it was this manipulation of loved ones that gave Chat no choice but to maintain the identity barrier that had broken his relationship with Kagami and kept him from opening up to Ladybug, the only one who could possibly understand the difficulty in running dual lives. There was no one for him to lean on. He had no one.
. . .
It had begun to grow dark when Chat Noir finally stumbled back in through his bedroom window. Heading to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face, he gave a start when he caught sight of the black suit and cat ears in his reflection.
"Plagg! Claws in!" Adrien held out his hands to catch the exhausted kwami spiraling out of his ring. "I'm so sorry, Plagg," he said to the black ball of fur facing him. "I completely lost track of time. I didn't realize it had been" - he checked the clock - "almost five hours!"
"It's alright, kid. You clearly needed it. Feeling a little better now?"
"Yeah," Adrien sniffled, "I think so. Thank you, Plagg. Thank you for everything."
The kwami said nothing, instead zooming up to Adrien's face and nuzzling against his cheek. The two stayed together in a comfortable silence, listening to the steady drip, drip, drip of the rain outside.
. . .
A short while later, there came a gentle knock at Adrien's door. Plagg streaked off to hide, Adrien hastily rubbing at his eyes and hopping up to answer it.
In the hallway stood Gilbert, holding two plates and wearing an uncertain smile. The man gestured towards Adrien's couch and grunted.
"Oh," Adrien said, warmth pooling in his chest and bringing a different kind of tear to his eyes. "Sure."
Gilbert followed Adrien to set their food on the table. In a sudden movement, he wrapped Adrien in a tight embrace. Hesitantly at first, then desperately, Adrien returned it. Minutes passed before they eventually broke apart.
Gesturing towards the TV, Gilbert pulled out a familiar DVD. Adrien gasped.
Until Spring Fades. It was the first movie his mother had ever acted in, shot when she was his age. Adrien had forgotten the film even existed. He hadn't seen it since the time they watched it as a family when he was five.
"Where did you find this?" Adrien asked breathlessly. Gilbert just shrugged. "Nevermind. May I?" Adrien held out his hand and was promptly passed the DVD. "This is unbelievable! I didn't know we still had it around. Thank you, Gilbert."
His bodyguard only shook his head in response.
"Huh?"
The man appeared to search for something before reaching into a pants pocket and typing something out on his phone. He showed Adrien the screen.
"Gil? You want me to call you Gil?" Adrien asked, checking the pronunciation.
The man nodded. Adrien mentally resolved to learn sign language so they could communicate more easily.
"Well, okay, then, Gil, are you ready to watch the movie?"
Gil indicated he was, and Adrien hit play. He grabbed his plate as the movie opened up to a beautiful shot of his mother and a girl with dark hair, laughing together over a picnic basket in a world of lime-green grass and blush-pink cherry blossoms.
. . .
The film seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, the end credits already rolling and Gil starting down the stairs with their dishes. Plagg floated out of hiding, breath carrying a suspiciously strong scent of camembert; Adrien chose to ignore this for the time being.
"Hi, Plagg," he said.
"Hey, kid. Do you wanna watch another movie or play a game or something?"
"Maybe later. I think I'm ready to start thinking about the, uh, situation now."
"Are you sure?" Plagg asked.
"Positive. He may be my father and I do still love him, but I'm more than just his son. I'm Chat Noir. It's my responsibility to take down Shadow Moth, no matter who lies under the mask."
The kwami's proud smile shifted into a devious grin that made Adrien wonder whether he should really be heeding Plagg's advice on this. "Then let Operation Kick Some Butterfly Butt officially commence! I've waited years for you to let me have a go at your pathetic excuse of a father. I have plans."
Adrien was not altogether comforted by this statement.
. . .
Two hours and lots of veto-ing on Adrien's part later ("No, Plagg, for the last time, people will lose their jobs if you cataclysm the hard drive with the only copy of Father's spring designs! And you can't just go and reveal yourself by spitting in his morning coffee either - are you even listening to me?"), the pair had managed to brainstorm some next steps and come up with a general plan of action. They'd even compiled a list of where else in the house they'd need to search, having decided to leave the hidden layer accessed via the painting of his mother for last.
Adrien yawned. It had been a very long day.
"Just a few things left to do tonight, and then you can go to bed, Adrien. Ready to contact Ladybug?" Plagg asked.
"Ready as I'll ever be. Claws out," he yawned again.
But in a rare occurrence, Chat Noir found himself hesitating. He and Plagg had loosely covered what he needed to say, but now that the moment had arrived, all words seemed to have escaped him.
"Hi, Ladybug," he practiced. "Sorry for the late call, it's not an emergency or anything - well, it sort of is - not that I'd want you to worry or anything, I know you're already stressed enough and this is probably just making it worse and-" he cut himself off with a sigh. This was not going well.
"Hi, Ladybug," Chat tried again. "So, you were right! My father does indeed appear to be Shadow Moth, and I just need to get some proof, so if I don't show up for patrol on Sunday, or ever, and you're wondering if something terrible happened to me, the world might be ending is all. Anyway, see you then, hopefully. Bye!"
No, that was definitely worse. He'd left out half of the important parts, not to mention let slip a key clue as to his own identity! This was getting ridiculous. He just had to get it over with, he thought, pulling out his baton. He shook out the last of his nerves and pressed call before he could waste any more time second-guessing himself.
"Hey, m'lady," he said after the beep. "Sorry to call so late. This is not an emergency at the moment, but there is a high likelihood that I have discovered Shadow Moth's secret identity. If I tell you his name now and I'm wrong, I will have blown my own cover for nothing.
"I'll be investigating tomorrow afternoon. In the event that I don't show up for patrol on Sunday, go to our spot on the Eiffel Tower, where I'll have hidden a letter that contains everything you need to know. And I know you'll be worried about me, too, once you hear this, but Plagg and I have everything under control for now. In case something goes wrong and you can't contact me, just remember to find that letter, Ladybug. But know that when you read it, you'll know who I am, too. The man we're looking into is my father. Plagg and I thought you should know so you understand why as a civilian, I am in the best position to investigate. Even if I'm caught, he can't question what I'm doing in my own house. But still, as a safe, I've signed the note with my real name.
"Love you, Bug. I'll see you soon."
Ending the voice message, Chat grabbed the letter he and Plagg had prepared from his desk and jumped into the freezing darkness of the Parisian midnight.
For reference, "Gil" is pronounced like the French name "Gilles." As far as English goes, it sounds like "Jill," but with the "g" sound like in "genre."
Thank you again for reading, and lookout for the next chapter, "The Pain of a Son," on or before February 25th. See you then, and happy early Lunar New Year!
Chapter Word Count: 2,030.
Published: Friday, January 28, 2022.
