The next few days are weird for Alison. She doesn't want them to be but they are and she can't argue that. Normally during school Alison would be trying to avoid Emily but after the other day Alison finds herself catching a small glimpse of Emily everywhere.
Sure, she'd see Emily around occasionally at school but it was never quite like this. Everytime Alison saw Emily up until she basically begged Emily to help her she'd see Emily and look away. She'd even walk in the opposite direction as the brunette if she needed to.
Now though, Alison follows Emily's silhouette with her eyes. Alison finds her eyes drawn to Emily whenever she's in the same room as her and it shows because her friends question her about her being distant at random times throughout the day. Typically after Alison has seen Emily.
Alison is tempted to tell her friends about what's happened but she shakes the feeling away. They wouldn't really understand anyways. Alison knows the only people who would understand what she's feeling and going through are Spencer, Aria and Hanna and she isn't seeing them until tonight.
Emily has swim practice after school today and the girls are coming over to Alison's house to hang out with her. After the girls leave, Emily is supposed to be coming over for their first tutoring session. Alison can't explain how nervous she is for having Emily in her house again after so long. She really hopes that talking to the girls about things will help her gain a new perspective or calm her nerves.
Alison thinks that being friends with Emily again is something she wants but she needs to make sure because despite years of not being close, Emily knows her. Emily has always seen through her, always been the one to read her best.
She can't bring up the idea of being friends with Emily if she isn't sure. Emily will figure out that she isn't sure and it'll definitely push her away. The idea will be a complete write off to Emily and Alison won't even get to know if that's something that Emily wants too.
Alison figures it'll take a lot of work to get things back on track with her and Emily if that's something they both decide they want but she's ready to put in the necessary work for that to happen. She's buried it for a long time but that fact remains. She misses Emily. She misses being around her and being close to her physically and emotionally.
Emily always felt like her safe space and having a taste of that back when Emily faced off against Alyssa made her realize just how much she's been missing in her life since she lost Emily and their friendship all those years back. She won't lose Emily again if they get a second shot at rebuilding their friendship.
Alison's morning goes by slowly and it makes her anxious. By the time lunch comes around Alison is too distracted by seeing Emily later that night to think about anything else.
When Alison sits at the table with her friends at lunch, she chats idly with them as a distraction to keep her mind from wandering to Emily and what could happen when they spend alone time together in her house. When the conversation lulls and her friends change the subject to something Alison doesn't find interesting she picks at her lunch. She's too nervous to eat so she just gives up on eating for the time being.
After lunch, Alison goes through the rest of her day on autopilot. She sits in her classes trying her best to pay attention but half way through her first afternoon class she gives up. She's already ahead of the class for when she has days when she doesn't feel like listening. Today clearly being one of those days for her.
While the teacher in her last period class goes on and on about things she's already read about, Alison brushes up on topics that are a little more fuzzy in her mind. If she's going to be stuck in class she might as well use her time wisely. She can't keep letting her mind worry about what might or might not happen between her and Emily.
At the sound of the bell ringing Alison almost sighs in relief. She can finally leave school and get ready to hang out with her friends. She hung out with them a few days ago but she still misses them often. Another reason she hopes Emily and herself could become friends again is because if they did, the five of them could hang out as often as they wanted. Everything would feel like old times and Alison's heart aches for that.
Alison's heart aches for the five of them to go back to the way things were. The thought of everything going back to the way they were making her both happy and sad. She'd be happy because having all her friends with her is what she wants but with her bubbling feelings for Emily, she's not sure that she wants Emily to be just a friend.
Has Alison always had romantic feelings for Emily? She doesn't really know if she's being honest with herself. She knows it would be a lie to say that somewhere along the way she didn't start thinking of Emily as her favourite of her friends. Emily started to become the centre of her life. Emily became her go to person. Emily always saw the best version of her, the person she wants to be.
Alison has grown a lot and she knows that she's come a long way from who she was four years ago. She sees it in the mirror everytime she looks. Not only has her physical appearance changed but the way she views herself has changed too. When she looks in the mirror she doesn't dislike what she sees.
Alison will admit that she wasn't always a nice person but having to take what you dish out made her want to change her attitude towards people. Not as many people are scared of her, nor do they dislike her as much as they used to and it feels good.
There's still a few people that don't trust her and she can understand that. Some people still bring out the worst part of her but it's not like it used to be. She feels more comfortable in her own skin and she's less insecure about herself.
Coming to terms with her sexuality was something she struggled heavily with but now that she's allowed herself to admit that she's had feelings for women as well as men, she doesn't feel the need to tear anyone down for being able to do what she couldn't.
Emily especially brought up a lot of Alison's self loathing when it came to her feelings. Alison knew that Emily liked her once upon a time. It was clear in her actions and her words. Her eyes spoke volumes even when she didn't say anything.
Alison didn't want to have those kinds of feelings. She wanted to be what society felt was normal but time she came to acknowledge that this was her normal. She learned to love every part of herself and be proud of it. She wouldn't change who she is now.
Alison exits the school about ten minutes after the bell rings and she sends the girls a text in their group chat to let them know that she's on her way home. Ali and the girls exchange texts back and forth for a few minutes before deciding to meet her at her house in an hour so they can get a bit of homework done before hanging out since the majority of them have homework to get done today.
When Alison gets home she parks her car in the driveway of her house and walks inside. Alison does a quick check to see if anyone is home and like her parents told her this morning, they're not home. After she reads the note on the kitchen counter Alison pockets the money her parents left for her to buy herself and the girls dinner for the night. Alison makes a beeline for the stairs and heads up to her room to get started on the very little work she was assigned before her friends come over.
After pulling her work out of her bag and setting it on her bed she gets right to work on it. Not even 15 minutes into doing her school work Alison's phone chimes from beside her. She's laying on her stomach and her phone is slightly out of reach so she's intent on ignoring it until she's finished up with her current task but then it goes off two more times in quick succession and Ali figures she might as well reply to whoever is texting her this many times in a row.
She smiles down at her phone when she reads the messages.
Hey. What are you doing right now?
You better not be ignoring me to do homework or something.
I knew you were ignoring me to do homework!
Alison types quickly. I was almost done with my homework before you started distracting me CeCe.
The reply comes almost as quickly as Alison sent hers. I'm not distracting you yet. I heard something interesting today. Care to tell me when you and Emily started dating?
Alison swallows the lump in her throat at the text. There's only one way CeCe could have heard that rumour and Alison groans loudly. CeCe is never going to let her live this down. Alison nearly has a heart attack when her phone starts ringing. Without looking she accepts the call.
"What's the deal with you and americano?" CeCe asks straight away. Alison wants to roll her eyes at her friend but she knows CeCe can be like a dog with a bone and she won't let go until she gets what she wants from her.
With a sigh Alison explains to CeCe what happened at school a few days ago. "I was in a tough spot and Emily helped me out. That's all it was. Nothing more and nothing less," Alison adds.
"I'm not buying it." CeCe says immediately. "I know how you felt about her a few years ago."
Alison hates this part of the conversation. She told CeCe awhile back about her feelings for Emily and now it's like CeCe is all too happy to bring Emily up whenever she gets the chance to.
"That's exactly it. How I felt about her. Not how I feel. I don't like her like that anymore." She knows she's just lied to CeCe and it doesn't feel very good at all. She's got a pit in the bottom of her stomach and she hates that.
"If you say so," CeCe replies eventually. "Are you guys like friends now then?"
Alison shrugs her shoulders though she knows CeCe can't see that. "I guess we are. I'm not sure honestly."
"What do you mean you guess you are?" CeCe questions curiously.
Alison sits down on her bed. "We haven't really talked about it or anything. Maybe I'll ask her when she comes over later."
"She's coming over to your house later?" CeCe asks excitedly.
"Yeah," Alison answers hesitantly. She has a feeling she knows where this is going and she doesn't like it one bit.
Alison can almost hear the smirk in CeCe's voice when she asks her question. "How can you tell me that you don't still like this girl? You invited her over while your parents and Jason were away and you think I'm going to believe it's so you can tutor her?"
Alison rolls her eyes and moves the phone from her right ear to her left. "It's true. The other girls are even coming over before Emily gets here so we can hang out."
CeCe laughs loudly. "You must really think you're trying to help yourself by telling me that but sadly it isn't helping you. It just makes me think you're going to bang her even more. Hanging out with your mutual friends then seeing each other after while nobody else is there? That's a recipe for a booty call if I ever heard one."
"You don't have to believe me," Alison says confidently. "The fact is she's coming over so I can tutor her in French."
"Oh I believe the tutoring part of it," CeCe tells her.
Alison sighs in relief, "finally" she exclaims. If she knew all it would take for CeCe to understand was to say it like that she would have done that right from the beginning.
CeCe ruins all the hopes Ali had of getting out of this conversation. "I just don't think you're going to be torturing her in French. Tutoring her in how to work your body is more like it if you ask me."
Alison runs her hands through her hair. "Well I didn't ask you," Alison huffs in anger.
"Awh," CeCe coos. "C'mon Ali. You can't tell me you don't still think she's hot." CeCe takes a pause, " I mean, have you seen her in a bathing suit recently? Emily has amazing legs, you'd be blind not to notice them."
Alison stands up from her bed and looks at herself in the mirror for a moment. "I know how hot she is, thank you very much."
"Ah-ha! So you do want to sleep with her tonight!" CeCe accuses loudly.
Alison wants to groan again in frustration at CeCe's obvious determination on the subject but before Alison can even come up with an actual reply to that, the doorbell saves her from having to say anything in reply to the accusations CeCe is throwing at her.
In a split second decision Alison is speaking. "I gotta go, the girls are here." Alison is all too happy to be able to find a reason out of this because she doesn't want CeCe to catch onto her lies.
Boy was she such a good liar a few years ago. She's still a good enough liar to cover her tracks but she can admit that she's definitely rusty in that department.
"Ali, you better not hang up on-." Alison ends the call quickly and leaves her phone in her room while she heads downstairs to let her friends in the house.
Alison knows that she won't hear the end of it from CeCe when she talks to her again but right now she's glad her friends saved her from that awkward turn of events. She might just thank them later for their perfect timing.
Once Ali is downstairs she heads straight for the door. Once in front of the door she pulls it open and is immediately greeted by her three best friends. She smiles at the sight of Hanna Aria and Spencer before moving aside and welcoming them into her house.
When all the girls are inside they start to take off their shoes but Ali catches Aria looking her up and down. She's got a curious look in her eyes and at first Alison ignores it. However, Aria keeps staring at her and Alison isn't sure why.
The uncertainty of why Aria's staring at her like that starts to make her nervous. Ali fidgets under her gaze and Aria watches Ali carefully for a few more seconds before finally asking, "Ali, are you okay? You look a little out of breath."
Ali nods quickly, "yeah. I'm fine," she tells her honestly. Alison can't believe how relieved she is to know why Aria kept staring at her. She relaxes quickly after that. She looks around at the girls, "I was on a call with a friend when you guys rang the doorbell so I was in a bit of a rush to get down here. I didn't want to keep you guys too long or anything."
"Did we interrupt something?" Spencer asks from beside Hanna. The four girls are now standing in Alison's foyer taking off their coats. When everyone has shed their coats Alison leads them into the living room to sit down on the couch.
Ali shakes her head at Spencer. They don't even know half of how badly she wanted to get out of that conversation with CeCe about Emily. Alison likes Emily, that's for sure. Alison knows CeCe likes to tease but CeCe would never shut up about it if she actually figured out she liked Emily still. That's a secret Alison needs to be able to keep from CeCe for a long time. If not forever.
"Oh no. If anything you saved me from answering something I didn't want to answer." Ali looks back and forth between the three girls. "Do you guys want anything to drink?"
"No thanks," Aria tells her. She looks around at the other girls but they seem to be lost in their own world and leave her as the only one to answer for all of them. She shrugs at Alison when nobody else answers.
Hanna smirks in Alison's direction at the admission of wanting to get out of a conversation with someone. "So we did you a favour by coming when we did? Does this mean you were talking about something like feelings? Perhaps for a certain brunette we all know?"
Ali rolls her eyes and shakes her head but she's got a fond smile on her lips. "We'll get into that later," she promises softly.
Aria smiles smugly and looks at Ali with bright, curious eyes. "So there is something to get into then?" She asks excitedly.
Alison gives them a guilty look and that's all it takes for Spencer to turn to the girls. "Oh, there's definitely something to tell," she says while the other girls nod enthusiastically.
/
You know the drill, leave a review if you liked it (:
