Alison knows that the time she and Emily have left together for tonight is dwindling fast so Alison musters up the courage she needs so she can ask the question that she's been meaning to ask Emily since she fully committed to helping her.
Alison is nervous in regards to starting this particular conversation with Emily but she speaks slowly so she won't have to repeat herself. She doesn't know if she'd continue with the conversation if she had to ask the same thing twice.
Alison starts off apologetic but she lets her curiosity show. "I'm sorry if this is too personal of a question but I've got to ask." She lets the question hang in the air so Emily has a chance to decline if she wants to.
Emily tilts her head to the side. Her gaze is questioning even though she hasn't said anything yet. "Ask away," she says finally.
It relieves Alison to know Emily is willing to answer her question but that doesn't take away from the nerves she's feeling. Alison takes a deep breath and hopes that this doesn't come across to Emily the wrong way. "Why are you helping me?" It sounds rude when she says it out loud and Alison feels compelled to add, "I know that you hate lying and I'm just wondering what made you decide that this was something you'd do knowing that you hate lying of any kind."
Emily looks away from Alison and down at the other girl's bedspread. "That's a good question," Emily replies to her. Emily has more to say but she doesn't say it right away. She composes herself and tries not to let her emotions show on her face. Emily doesn't mean for it to make Alison feel insecure but it does. Alison hides her insecurity very well but Emily can feel it in the air between them and it makes her feel bad.
At first Alison thinks that's the only thing Emily will say after several seconds tick by. With each passing one that Emily doesn't say anything else besides that, Alison starts to regret asking the question at all. Emily isn't ignoring Alison, she's just figuring out what she wants to say and how she wants to say it before she speaks.
Alison jumps in with a joke to break the tension when the silence between her and Emily becomes too much for her to handle. "Besides the fact that I knew you needed a tutor in French and I bribed you with that so you'd agree and say yes." Alison doesn't normally mind silence when it's comfortable but there's something about a silent Emily that makes her wonder what she's thinking about.
Emily laughs. "Besides that," she says before she looks back up at Alison. "I guess I did it because…" Emily starts to say but stops again. "I knew that you needed help and at first I wasn't going to agree. I was pretty set on saying no actually."
"What changed?" Alison asks curiously. The tutoring was a last minute attempt at making Emily reconsider because Alison believed that she would say no. She could tell that Emily was thinking it over heavily when she first approached her with the idea. Knowing that made Alison's heart hurt and feel happy at the same time.
Alison was hurt because there was a time in her life when Emily would have done anything for her if she asked her to. Though, it also made Alison happy because at this specific time in their lives her and Emily were basically strangers again and she hadn't automatically said no to her. Emily heard her out when she didn't need to and that told Alison a lot about how Emily felt towards her. Emily might not have realized it but it was something Alison cherished. Alison would never forget that Emily gave her that courtesy even if she felt like she didn't deserve it from Emily.
"I don't know," Emily replies at first. She plays with her fingers and replays what she remembers of that day in her head. "I just remember wanting to say no and then I looked over at you when Alyssa was talking to you and my heart hurt. I'd never seen you like that before. I never wanted to see you like that again and if that involved lying in order to make sure that you'd never have to be talked to that way by someone like that then I was willing to do it. No questions asked."
Alison's face breaks out into a small smile after hearing that. Emily is still protective over her and Alison can't begin to describe the way that makes her feel. "That's sweet," Alison comments.
Alison wants to say so much to Emily more than she does at that moment. She wants to tell Emily that she feels really lucky and special that Emily still cares for her the way her actions show she does but she can't bring herself to say the words out loud so she settles for leaving it at "that's sweet."
Emily doesn't know how to bring this up but figures she might as well just rip off the Band-Aid and go straight for it. There's no sense in beating \around the bash if she wants a real answer from the girl across from her. "So… when it comes to this fake dating thing should we make up some ground rules or something?"
Alison's eyes light up. She hadn't even thought about that. "Yeah, yeah. That's a great idea. Do you have any to start with?" Alison gets up and goes over to her vanity. She grabs a piece of paper out of her notebook and sits back down on her bed beside Emily.
Emily gives it some thought while Alison is grabbing some paper. "I think that since we're not actually dating and we aren't really that close anymore, we probably shouldn't kiss on the lips unless absolutely necessary."
Alison writes the rule Emily mentioned down but she can't lie to herself and say that she's not a little bit disappointed by Emily wanting that to be a rule. She understands it and she'll respect it but she's a bit sad about it. Alison will get over it but she does her best to push the feelings away so Emily will think that both of them agree to that completely.
"I agree," Alison says with the most false confidence she can. "If we don't have to kiss, why should we?" She adds for good measure. The question almost makes her frown but she keeps her face relaxed so Emily can't tell she wishes she could kiss her. "What about going on dates and stuff like that?"
"I'm confused," Emily looks from the wall to Alison. "If we aren't dating, why would we go on dates?" It doesn't make any sense to her and she's hoping Alison's explanation will help her see the use of them going on dates.
"Well, they wouldn't be real dates," Alison clarifies. She sort of wishes that they would be real dates but if that were to happen she wouldn't want it to be because Emily feels like she needs to do it. "They'd be more like…" Alison pauses in search of the right way to phrase it to Emily, "us keeping up public appearances. The two of us would know that they aren't real dates but to the outside world it would be real. Everyone else around us is going to think we're dating each other and it might be weird or suspicious to people if we aren't ever seen out together. Especially if those people go to school and they've heard we've rekindled our relationship."
Emily hasn't quite decided how she feels about going out on fake dates with Alison yet but she can't deny that it's a smart plan. There's only so many times you can say "we'd stayed in" before people think that you're lying so Emily agrees that it would definitely be weird if they said they were dating but never went on any dates. "You make a good point. How often would we be going out together?" Emily questions.
Alison shrugs casually but she's thought over her answer for a long time in case she was asked. "I think once a week would be enough." Alison wanted to say a bigger number than that but she didn't want Emily to say no so she went with something that would be a little more reasonable than what she originally wanted to say.
Emily raises an eyebrow at Alison. She isn't buying the fact that the two of them going on a date once a week would be enough. It doesn't seem like enough time in her opinion. Alison can tell that Emily isn't convinced by the idea because of Emily's tone of voice when she asks, "are you sure once a week would be often enough?"
Alison knows she needs to be confident in order to sway Emily. "Totally," Alison answers right away. She kind of curses at herself for not saying two or three times a week but she's committed to once a week already. "Once a week on the weekend or something would be perfect." Alison makes a hand gesture between herself and Emily. "We'll be seeing each other at school on the weekdays and if we do enough convincing at school, the weekends are the only time we'd really be away from each other. So with that in mind, the weekend seems like the best option for a date night. We could alternate between Saturday and Sunday or we could just pick one or the other."
"I think we could do Saturday's most weekends but alternate days depending on our schedules. Speaking of school, should we change the way we interact at school?" Emily knows that something would probably need to change but she isn't sure how much of it should change. "As of right now we don't really do anything together so people wouldn't even see us anywhere near each other at school if we didn't hang out before or after school."
Alison runs a hand through her hand while thinking. "If we get to school around the same time we could text each other and meet somewhere. The only other thing I can think of to change when it comes to seeing each other at school is walking each other to class if we have any near each other or eating lunch together instead of eating lunch separately and at different tables like we've been doing for awhile."
Emily kind of likes the idea of having someone to talk to on her way to class. It makes her smile but she focuses on the subject at hand. "We could all eat lunch with the girls like we used to? I'm sure that the girls would love that." Emily smiles at the thought of eating with all of the girls without having to hide it from Alison.
Alison thinks about it for a second before the words she doesn't mean to say leave her mouth, "they'd probably want us to sit with them everyday."
Emily frowns at the tone of voice Alison says it in. Emily doesn't think that eating lunch with the girls everyday would be such a bad thing. She wonders if Alison thinks that would be a bad idea. "Is that a problem for you?" Emily really hopes Alison says no because she's been dying to spend some real time with the girls during school. It would make Aria, Spencer and Hanna happy that they could all hang out with each other and not have to hide that fact from her or Alison. It would be a much needed break and it would feel amazing.
Alison shakes her head quickly. Her tone must have given Emily the impression that she wouldn't enjoy that. "No, that's not a problem for me. I'd really enjoy that actually."
Alison's earlier comment was her brain thinking of all the ways their friends might tease her about this whole thing. It's one of the crazier things she's ever done and having them tease her about it for an unknown amount of time would not be something she'd enjoy and that's why she didn't sound too happy.
Emily breathes a sigh of relief at hearing Alison say that. It makes Emily smile because being with her friends is always a good time for her. "Okay, great. Is there anything else?"
"I think an important aspect of making everyone believe we're together is agreeing on the story we're going to tell people before telling it to them."
Emily's eyebrows furrow and she looks confused by that. "What do you mean by agreeing on the story we're going to tell?"
Alison is quick to explain. "Things like the details of our relationship." Alison switches positions on her bed. "For example people might ask us, when did we start dating? When or where was our first kiss? How long have we been dating? Questions like that we should discuss before people ask and we don't have an answer."
Emily nods. She gets what Alison means now. "If one of us is asked a question we haven't thought of or talked about yet what should we do?"
"Be as vague as possible and tell the other person about the story you told that other person when it comes to that question." Alison looks over the piece of paper she wrote the rules they agreed on. "I think that's a solid list of rules," Alison says before attempting to put the paper away.
"Wait," Emily says suddenly. That catches Alison's attention and she stops what she's doing in order to look back at Emily. " I think we should add one more rule," Emily says confidently.
Alison uncaps her pen. "What's the last rule you want to add?" Alison asks curiously.
Emily's voice is strong when she tells Alison about the last rules she wants to include. She wants Alison to know that this one is important and that she takes it seriously. She hopes Alison will take it seriously too. "I want us to agree to being open and honest about any and all feelings we have. Especially when it comes to their fake relationship. We can't be walking around claiming we're in this relationship if on the side we're having issues with each other because we haven't talked to each other about anything. Neither of us can read minds so if we're going to make this seem real we need to communicate if something comes up or we aren't comfortable with something."
Alison hums in agreement while she looks down at the paper on her lap. "We can do that," she replies softly. Other than that and writing the rule down underneath the rest of them she doesn't offer up much else.
Soon after that Alison disconnects from the conversation. She's lost in her own head when Emily's alarm rings. It would have scared Alison if she hadn't been extremely aware of the time. Alison might have looked disinterested in talking but in reality she was trying to figure out how things might play out at school for them tomorrow. She's not a known overthinker but a planner is often prone to overthinking things so they go hand in hand for Alison. Much to her dismay sometimes. Especially if it gets her into trouble.
Emily picks up her phone and silences her alarm. She bids goodbye to Alison and then she's out the door. Alison was going to offer to walk Emily downstairs but she was too slow and Alison can hear the front door close before she can quite process that she missed her chance.
Even an hour after Emily has left for the night, Alison is awake and still thinking over the conversation the two of them had. These rules will hopefully help them keep things under control when it comes to their pretend relationship but Alison can't say how well other people will react to their news.
Her old but budding feelings for Emily that are definitely still there cause some concern and worry for Alison on top of everything else. She knows that doing this will be tougher than it needs to be if she doesn't keep those feelings hidden as much as possible so she makes a mental note to crush them or bury them as well as she can. She knows she shouldn't bottle her feelings up but this is one of those moments when she feels like they're better in a bottle than out in the open. At least until she isn't in a position as dire as this one.
/
leave a review
