In a certain warehouse (why is it always a warehouse?) a certain clandestine deal was planned on being made with a certain type of technology: Honkai technology.

You know: Honkai microrreactors, Honkai cubes, Honkai-powered weapons.

Anything related to Honkai tech is monopolized either by Schicksal or Anti-Entropy and it doesn't help that both are some of the few factions with the knowhow of how to use it safely and securely, something a lot of countries resent though many of them are trying their own Honkai-research programs.

Of course, that also means it's also incredibly valuable for gangsters and mercenaries: whether it's to sell them to the highest bidder or for the firepower it can provide. Doesn't help that there exist scientists and engineers from both Schicksal and AE secretly smuggling those, whether they're still in their respective organizations or not.

Unfortunately (or not), these guys were relatively new to handling anything Honkai-related, so they went for the cheapest casing possible and didn't care to check in case of any damage. Sure, the cubes were actually rather secure but the reactors…

Well, here you have it. A recipe for your own domestic zombie apocalypse, brought to you by organized crime typical stinginess. Sponsored by Umbrella Corporation.

Please, don't take this add seriously

At least, the clients had the decency to bring in Honkai detectors just in case and when they arrived and were alerted by the radiation spikes, they hurriedly run away and hired a Hunter to take care of any zombie or beast so contain the damage while they went for a clandestine decontamination crew to clean up the radiation and not alert the government and the anti-Honkai organizations.

If there were a camera at this moment, it would be pointed at one of the doors leading to the exterior as well as the nearby zombies trapped inside.

Let me guess, you're going to expect the door being kicked or blown off, right?

Nah.

Instead, the window above is immediately shattered in uncountable fragments due to the dynamic entry of a blue-eyed, white-long-haired-braided, hoodie-wearing 14-year old girl, armed with two heavily modified black and white M1911s in her hands and a metal bat sheathed in a golf bag clung on her back and no fear of being stabbed by some of the non-supernatural things sharpest things known to mankind.

She landed onto one of the zombies, momentum and a kick to the ground made it so that it became an improvised, rotating surfboard, with the maniac surfing it shooting willy-nilly to each zombie with perfect headshots, all while laughing and whooping.

And like all things, everything needs an end. Like the zombie board crashing towards a concrete pillar. Head front. The subsequent bullet through it's already mushed brain was just the cherry on the top but, hey, it's a zombie. They're surprisingly resilient for being the equivalent of mooks for the Honkai.

Twirling her guns, the zombie slayer made a pose with them over her head "My name is Kiana Kaslana. You interrupted my sleep. Prepare to die." She pointed one of her guns, arm overstretched and a cocking sound despite no gun cocking being done at that moment. "Again."

But no one came… or groaned even.

She already killed all the zombies present on her mad corpse surfing.

"Aww." Kiana pouted in dissatisfaction "I got out of bed for just a fistful of zombies. At least give me something exciting to compensate for that." She blinked her eyes when she discovered in an open box a pair of dark-coloured pistols, H&K USP.45, with glowing pink parts, due to their Honkai upgrades, as well as other pieces or accessories tailored for them.

Kiana's face adopted a feline smile. Watching that no one or anything else was coming, she came towards that particular face, giggling like a RPG gamer planning to go full kleptomaniac for a rare item, which she was like right now.

"I think I'll take that as extra pay, hehehe."

While she was examining her new toys, a new entity appeared from the shadows. It looked like a sickly pale buxom woman with untamed gray hair and glowing orange eyes, wearing nothing more than a glorified black armored swimsuit with tones of orange as well as what seemed like a pair of horns as well as a tail growing out of her. As well as a pair of swords in her hands, hungry for some Kaslana salami.

Like any good sci-fi setting with living dead, Honkai zombies are also known to mutate and become stronger and intelligent, usually by growing Honkai tissue in their bodies. However, most of those evolved zombies tend to be women for some reason, as well as have uniforms and weapons. Some theories say that the Honkai has intelligence and is amassing an army to complement its Herrschers and Beasts from former humans. Others say that Honkai is just pervert and all those suits that those zombies wear are simply cosplay. Nevertheless, their martial ability and unnatural powers make them extremely dangerous for most people.

However, Kiana Kaslana isn't 'most people'.

Swinging down her blades, the ninja-like zombie expected to see the impudent human cut into a bloody mess, not the cleanly sliced bits of a smuggled box. "Hey, idiot!" The zombie reacted, turning to the direction of the voice, only to receive a striking bat on her face, making her fly in the air until she used her swords to slow down her momentum.

"Hey! You were supposed to be a Home Run, not a Strike!" Kiana exaggeratedly complained, twirling her bat as if it were a cheerleader baton. "Oh, well, you know what they say. At third, out." She pointed her melee weapon at the kunoichi and made the 'come on' gesture with the other hand.

The zombie, as if somehow sapient, growled and make a way towards Kiana in a series of sidesteps. The gunslinger retaliated by shooting her with Ebony, designed for precision and comfort, though the ninja's speed made it difficult to hit.

It came to a point that Kiana was forced into frantic melee, the undead kunoichi's agility prevented the Huntress from landing attacks due to the zombie blocking her bat and parrying her gun. She was slowly losing dominance… Wait, Kiana had an idea!

Any scatterbrained Kaslana idea tends to be… interesting.

Blocking the last dual swords attack, thanks to her surprisingly durable weapons, she forced the zombies arms to separate from each other, leaving her opponent wide-opened. An opportunity that Kiana must capitalize on!

"Neko Jump!"

With a furious battle cry, she proceeded to pounce onto… the zombie's breasts?

Uh… I have no idea what to think. Yeah, sure most males and some females would love to touch some big balloons but wouldn't this count as necrophilia? Or sexual harassment towards the poor undead?

Look, even the zombie's face is reddening from embarrassment despite her low brain power!

Both combatants fell, zombie's back to the ground and Pervert Tuna's face to the melons. Lightning quick, Kiana's gun found way to the zombie's face, who just realized too late that she has been duped.

"Jackpot."

BANG

A spent shell bounced on the ground a second after the zombie's unlife was extinguished. Kiana got up from the slowly disintegrating corpse, stretching her tired arms. "Okay, that was fun but I'm tired. I'll just go to sleep."

More of the super zombies appeared from thin air.

"Or not." Kiana sweatdropped. A big object impacted near her, crashing the crates and making our protagonist fall to the ground. A Chariot, a giant Honkai Beast, has appeared!

Surrounded and outgunned, Kiana could only raise her arms in a feeble attempt to block the behemoth's rapidly approaching mace of an arm, accompanied only by the zombies' sadistic gazes.

Until a motorcycle surrounded by lightning drived by a whooping man crashed into the Chariot, destroying it instantly.

The zombies were silent in complete and utter confusion.

The readers are too, until they remember who this story is also about.

Kiana just sighed in a mix of exasperation and relief.

"Hey brat!" The Legendary Devil Hunter, Son of the Legendary Dark Knight Sparda, Badass and Style Incarnate and memetic Wacky Woohoo Pizza Man, Featuring From the DMC Series, DANTE! "You okay?"

"Oh, I'm quite well. Until you stole my show!" As if ignoring being in mortal danger seconds before, she angrily marched towards her 'savior' "And how did you know I was here?"

"I didn't." Dante shrugged "I was on my way when I noticed the noise and decided to investigate."

"And by 'investigate', you mean making a motorcycle sized hole in the wall?" She gestured to said hole, to which the zombies reacted by blinking at it, as if noticing it was there right now.

"I like my entrances to be big." Still seated on his diabolic bike, Cavaliere, Dante answered unapologetically."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Kiana rolled her eyes.

"Now, I think we have a few ladies waiting." Dante materialized two bayoneted rocket launchers, the Kalina Anns, onto his arms "Why don't we show them a good time?"

It was at this moment, the zombies knew… they fucked up.

Honkai Will Cry

Leaving behind a warehouse in flames, the white-haired duo went towards their sleeping place on motorcycle.

"I have the feeling our client won't like this." Kiana comented.

"Tch. Everybody's a critic. Especially clients. Next time, they'd better have a stronger building."

"I don't think any building in existence would be able to contain you, Dante. Our repair bills say so."

Dante groaned "Don't remind me. I'm still in debt around here."

"Here." Kiana returned Ebony and Ivory to him. "I have mine now." She showed with a big smile her newly sto- I mean, acquired Proto Pistols.

"Cool." Dante nodded "That means I won't have to spend time and money finding a good decent pair of guns for you."

"Though the ammunition prize could be a problem."

"Brat, I am not a bullet dispenser."

"Yes, you are! You gave me all those full cartridges and I've seen you selling all the ammo you create from all your guns!"

"No, I am not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not!"

"You are!"

… Can anyone believe those two bickering meatheads are supposed to be the future saviors of the world? Oh, well, more heroic idiots are on their way but that is a story for the future. Now, we will center on the past.

And like them, I'm going to bed, too.

AN:

White-hair? Check.

Blue eyes? Check.

Cocky idiots that are actually smart and undergo character development over time? Double check.

Noble superpowered bloodlines? Whatever check.

Dark pasts related to family, especially daddy issues? Of course, why not?

Dual-wielding gunslingers adept in the ancient arts of gun kata, gun fu and any other gun-related craziness? Bang, bang, bang.

BFS created from a massive power up that also makes them physical gods? Hell yeah.

Inner demons? One, figuratively and the other, literally.

Dramatic duels against once loved ones that wield katanas? Join the club.

Yup, Dante and Kiana deserved a fucking crossover.

Another curious data, Kiana is Hawaiian for Diana, Roman Goddess of the Hunt. Ironic, huh? Only realized some days ago.

What do you think of this, I decided to go full DMC as in Fuck All This and dedicated to rule of cool and ridiculousness.

Now that the prologue is finished, next will be the flashback about how Kiana and Dante met each other.

And the next wave of idiots? That will be for my next interconnected story, hehehe.