AN: I've always wondered what it would sound like for Walter to talk with Ralph about girls. This is my take on that so it's really more of a Walter/Ralph family story than a bunch of Waige, but Waige is established and implyed here. Hope you like it!

This has a 'K' rating.

MAN TO MAN

"Hey, Walt," Ralph said as he walked into Walter's home workshop and dropped his backpack in the corner.

"Oh, hey, Ralph. I didn't hear you come in. Your class is over already?" Walter was elbows deep in his latest project. "Could you hand me those calipers?" He said pointing to the measuring device on the end of the work table.

"It's almost six," Ralph replied as he picked up the tool and handed it to the man who was more father than stepfather.

Walter looked up, surprised. His eyes were made exaggeratedly large by the safety goggles he wore giving him the look of an intelligent insect. "You're kidding. It's later than I thought. I'd better get started on dinner soon."

Ralph strapped on his own pair of goggles and jumped in, working in perfect tandem beside his favorite mentor. Neither spoke beyond simple requests for quite a while. They had always been able to work together as if reading each others' minds. The next time they looked up, it was nearly thirty minutes later.

"We'd better wrap this up for now," Walter said reluctantly, breaking the comfortable silence, "Dinner isn't making itself and your mother and sister will be home soon."

"Where are they?" Ralph asked as they both removed their safety gear and dropped it on the work bench.

"It's Thursday. Your mom took Ivy to her dance class."

"I guess that means we'll have to go to another recital soon?" The two males exchanged a pained expression.

"I guess so," Walter sighed. He clapped a hand to Ralph's shoulder and led him toward the door.

"I don't get it. Ivy shows every indication that she's a genius like we are and yet she still loves dress up and dance classes and make believe." Ralph's face contorted into a comical moue of aversion, "And she chatters. Incessantly." He shook his head as if these things should be completely outside the realm of possibility.

"Not all geniuses are contemplative and quiet like we are. You know that. I can't imagine Toby was an introspective child." They shared a knowing smirk, "And Ivy isn't quite four years old. She is still too young to test with any accuracy. Preliminary results show she is quite advanced for her age, but we won't know anything definitive until she is a bit older," Walter pointed out.

Ralph looked at him skeptically, "Walter, she's nearly fluent in three languages already. Speaking and reading. She is well on her way to learning Japanese from Happy too. And she already solves simple trigonometry problems with Sly. For her birthday, she wants cupcakes decorated and fashioned into the periodic table. I'm pretty sure of the results we can expect from any future tests."

"But it's still only an assumption until it can be proven," Walter argued.

Ralph shrugged and dropped the subject. He knew Walter secretly hoped Ivy was a little more normal like Paige, but they could both tell she wasn't.

In the kitchen, they took out ingredients for a simple stir fry, and began assembling them together with as much easy camaraderie as they had tinkering in the workshop.

In the midst of chopping vegetables, Ralph looked sidelong at Walter and said, "Can I ask a favor?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Could I possibly get out of babysitting tomorrow night?"

Walter looked askance at his stepson. "What do you think your mom would say? I don't think she would go for that since you already agreed."

"Can't Happy and Toby or Sly or Cabe watch her?" Ralph begged with a slight whine, sounding remarkably like a typical teen.

"You volunteered, Ralph," Walter answered, confused, "I thought you wanted the money since you're saving for a new telescope. Besides you know tomorrow night is the trade show, so the whole team has to be there. Patrick is keeping Quinn for Happy and Toby so at least you won't have both of them. What's this really about?"

To his surprise, Ralph's face flushed scarlet.

"You know I have a physics project due on Monday, right?"

"Yes. But that should be a piece of cake for you. It's high school physics."

"Well, it would be if I didn't have a lab partner. A normal lab partner."

"So? Doesn't this person expect you to do the work for both of you?" It was the familiar lot of any genius.

"No. She wants to do her part. And she had to ask for time off at her job to work on it with me. The only evening she has free is tomorrow," Ralph looked at Walter pleadingly.

His stepdad made note of the pronoun she and he was sympathetic, but he knew where Paige would stand on the matter. Considering briefly, he asked, "Do you think your lab partner would be willing to come over here to work? You could wait until Ivy goes to bed. By the time we get done and take everything down at the show, it will probably be quite late."

It wasn't an ideal suggestion and Ralph sighed still looking a bit dejected at the prospect of not having his lab partner to himself, "I don't know. I guess I could ask her."

Moving into uncharted territory and not wanting to pry, but sensing Ralph wanted to talk about it, Walter asked, "So, you like this girl?" He made sure to focus on the task of measuring the rice to boil so he wouldn't seem confrontational.

"She's okay, I guess," Ralph mumbled in reply, shuffling his feet a bit and twirling a knife beside the cutting board.

Walter waited patiently knowing the teen had a hard time finding words sometimes. He was quite the expert on that himself.

"Thing is, I don't know how to tell," Ralph finally said, "How do you know?"

Chuckling softly, Walter replied, "I may not be the best person to ask. It took me thirty-two years to admit love is real and not a temporary, semi-euphoric reaction to chemicals released in the brain. I'm not sure I could identify the characteristics of a 'crush' any more readily."

"Any insight would be helpful," Ralph said sounding cautiously hopeful.

"Well… You obviously find her physically appealing?" Both were a bit uncomfortable with the conversation, so they stood side by side leaning on the counter and looking in different directions.

"Uh-huh."

"Does she occupy your thoughts even when you aren't around her?"

"Yeah. Sometimes…," Ralph paused, biting on a thumbnail, "a-a lot."

"Tell me what is unique about this girl. What do you find attractive about her apart from the, uh, physical qualities?"

"Um… She has always been amiable to me. She even has the ability to make me laugh. She picked me as her lab partner, on-on purpose and not just because she wants me to do her work for her. She defends me when people say I'm weird, and she won't let people cheat off of my work. A-and she always smells r-really nice."

They stood silently for a few seconds until the rice started to boil over. Walter quickly moved the pan off the heat, stirred the contents and replaced the lid.

"A crush is my conclusion, but as I said, I'm no expert. Do you think she reciprocates your feelings?"

"Even harder to tell," Ralph replied glumly.

"Does she flirt with you?"

"How would I know?" the boy scoffed.

"Your mom tried to teach me about flirting once," Walter smiled fondly at the memory, "Does she flip her hair when she's around you? Does she touch you randomly?"

Ralph frowned in concentration. "I don't know about the hair thing, but she touches my arm and my shoulder from time to time. I-I like when she does that, so it is notable. And when she entered her contact information into my phone, she put a little heart symbol beside her name. I've thought a lot about what that might signify."

"I think the only way to know for sure is to ask."

Ralph looked horrified. "I can't do that!"

"Well, maybe you can do a series of experimental touches to see how she responds. Try holding her hand. That was always a good indicator for me. If she reacts well, maybe you could eventually work up to a preliminary uh, kiss?"

"I-I guess I could do some research in that way," Ralph blushed furiously and swallowed convulsively, "I know it's been a few years since you and Toby talked to me about human reproductive functions, but I don't remember anything about kissing. I-I'm still a uh, novice in that regard. I guess I'm what mom would call a 'late bloomer'. Do you have any pointers? Is there anything I would need to know?"

Walter had to bite the insides of his lips to keep from grinning. It was just that he could definitely sympathize with Ralph's discomfort in this arena. "Well, there's no formula for it. But kissing is pretty natural. That part of your anatomy is the same, so chances are if you like something, she will too. Just do what you think you might like and follow her lead as well."

They stood quietly for some time. Ralph was frowning and blinking, deep in thought, until they heard Paige's car turn into the driveway. Through the kitchen window, they could already hear Ivy jabbering away as she got out of the car. Ralph jerked his head up and looked at Walter.

"I think this discussion has been productive. I'm going to call my lab partner now."

"Uh, Ralph? What's this girl's name?"

"It's Rachel. And Walter? Don't tell mom or, uh anyone, okay?"

Chuckling, Walter said, "You got it, Bud."

Not pausing to listen to the reply, Ralph raced to his room, phone already in his hand.