PEACE FROM THE PIECES
AN: I'm working on 'Ralph to the Rescue', I swear. But I really want that story to be light and funny, and everything I was writing was coming out sad and angsty. That's why I wrote this one shot. This one's for you FicFan19. It was your suggested plot bunny hopping around in my brain. Hopefully it cleared out the melancholia and I can finish my other story with a lighter heart. Fingers crossed. Here goes...
In the dimming light of the fading evening sun through the garage windows, Paige rummaged through her overnight bag that was lying on the coffee table in front of the red sofa. Walter noticed she seemed unable to make eye contact with him.
"Thanks for letting me crash on your couch, Walter. It should only be a couple of days while they finish the renovations on my condo." She was putting up a brave front, but he could see the slump of her shoulders and the tiredness in her eyes.
He still wasn't much good at gauging emotions in himself or anyone else, but even he could see she looked sad and uncomfortable. It tugged at him and gave him that old familiar and now unwelcome ache in his chest. He fought the instinct to want to fix things for her. It wasn't his place anymore. Not that it ever really was.
After his disastrous attempt to stop her from going to Tahoe with Tim and her choice to stay with the Homeland agent, their relationship had been strained. It was no longer natural or easy to be around her. In truth, it hurt every time he looked at her, so he'd avoided her as much as possible in the two months since.
Instead of inquiring about what was wrong, he answered untruthfully and with faked nonchalance, "Oh, it's no trouble. I won't even know you're here." Walter was getting good at pretending not to have feelings again, he just wished he was as efficient as he used to be at ignoring and suppressing them.
She continued in a too bright voice, "I really appreciate it all the same. It will save me the expense of a motel. I'm sure glad Ralph is out of school and at his dad's this week or you would have two of us underfoot."
Aggravated with the awkwardness and hating the unsteadiness he felt, he replied, "You know you can always stay here anytime you need to. You both are always welcome. N-no matter what."
The silence that fell was louder than if they were shouting their unspoken questions at each other. Walter cleared his throat and Paige jumped slightly. "Why don't you stay in the loft, and I'll stay in the Airstream downstairs. There is no need for you to occupy a couch when the camper has a perfectly good bed and it affords each of us more privacy."
She forced a laugh that irritated him with its falseness. "Oh, I didn't think about the camper. I'll move my stuff in there. That would be less of a disruption for you." Paige began fiddling with the zipper on her bag again, her fingers shaking slightly. She was unable to get it closed properly.
Resisting the urge to do it for her, or even worse, touch her hand, Walter turned and made his way toward the stairs. He threw, "Okay. Suit yourself," over his shoulder feeling a bit of satisfaction at the abrupt rudeness of the words, even knowing that was petty and illogical.
An overwhelming curiosity got the better of him just when he was about to make his get-away. "I know it's none of my business, but why didn't you stay at Tim's?" He asked, frustrated with himself for actually voicing the question. He turned back toward Paige, his eyebrows raised.
She huffed another humorless laugh and rolled her eyes. "Oh, uh, that didn't work out."
Tim had gone to another division of Homeland to complete his training shortly after Paige started a relationship with him. At the time Walter had been grateful he'd at least been spared seeing the couple together day after day. It hadn't stopped him from closing himself firmly off from her, but at least he didn't have to endure Tim's smug looks.
His rebellious 'circulatory muscle' leapt with a momentary sense of foolish hope at her words. Walter had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from asking what happened. "Well…uh, sorry to hear that," he mumbled grudgingly. He was getting better at lying too.
Paige looked at him skeptically. "You are?"
Well, he'd always had a hard time fooling her.
Walter didn't answer. Anything he could think of to say would have been too revealing, exposing a backlog of suppressed thoughts and emotions that had been festering in his mind like a suppurating sore that hurt too much to touch.
He was about to continue on his way upstairs, when he barely heard her mutter, "Well, I'm not."
Paige sat down heavily on the couch and sighed. His unruly mouth said sarcastically before he could clamp it shut, "Why? I thought he was the perfect mate, every woman's dream boyfriend. Considerate, romantic, emotive, understanding, smart, good-looking, strong and most of all, n-normal," he sneered to cover his envy with contempt.
Her smile turned ironic and she snorted. "Nobody's perfect, Walter, believe me. I'm certainly not. And I seem to be the queen of poor choices in men."
He offered her a twisted smile in return. "Well don't look at me for advice. I'm much worse than you in the romantic arena. And my only foray into the realm of actual love was an unmitigated failure." His eyes darted to his shoes, hoping she didn't catch his admission.
"Love?" She whispered. Good thing to know his run of rotten luck remained intact.
Walter shook his head, ignoring her questioning look. "How exactly was Tim a poor choice?" He asked instead, to evade replying.
"I appear to be doomed to pick men who care more about their jobs than me. We hadn't even been dating for two weeks when he got a call from the Navy. He was reinstated and left without a backward glance. First Drew and baseball, then Tim and the SEALS. Even...," Paige stopped short and looked away.
"Even?" He startled her with his sharp tone.
"You, Walter. You picked Scorpion over me. Multiple times, in fact."
Rage and hurt erupted inside him and he hissed, "You're comparing me to them?! I came chasing after you to stop you from being with another man. Or don't you remember that? Trust me. I haven't forgotten one iota of that humiliation!"
"Oh, I remember. You came after us…after you pushed me to go in the first place. I practically begged you to ask me to stay! But after lecturing me about how any feelings that interfere with the goals of Scorpion should be buried, you ushered me out the door. Told me it was best that I go. I was a more than a little done with second place, Walter," she spat, "And when you did catch us, you listed all the logical reasons why it was a bad idea to run off and be together with Tim. And why I would be more comfortable if I came back with you! How was I supposed to react?"
"For the record, you had the same 'for the good of Scorpion' argument with yourself at first. And I never really chose Scorpion over you! It was easier to say that instead of admitting I was scared, okay! Scared I would screw things up like I always do and you would leave for good like everyone else!" He was almost yelling now, "And I wasn't about to spill my guts and admit that I loved you in front of your pet Neanderthal!"
They both stared at each other mouths gaping in shock for several long seconds. Thinking only of retreat, Walter pivoted on his heel and rushed toward the stairs.
He didn't stop when he heard her soft, "Wait. Walter, wait."
Standing at his kitchen counter leaning on the palms of his hands and breathing rapidly, he tried to restore his equilibrium. He knew Paige wouldn't leave it alone, and he had to present his calm outer shell to her when she came up to confront him. Sure enough, he heard her footfalls on the stairs just minutes later.
Sighing in defeat, he moved to the couch and slouched down on it. Leaning his elbows on his knees he pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, wanting to hide.
Paige stepped into his private living area and froze, staring at him until he lifted tortured eyes to hers. She was so beautiful to him it was painful to look at her.
After a few moments, she said, "Loved? As in past tense?" Her voice sounded choked.
Walter desperately wanted to lie. But his verbal filter failed again. He stared at the wall as he stated, "It's my understanding that love is an almost permanent affliction. I-I can attest to that fact."
Coming over to sit next to him, Paige quietly asked, "If you knew I was never in love with Tim, and that I returned your feelings, and I'd do everything in my power to work things out and stay with you no matter what, would you choose to preserve your company over being with me then?"
Looking at her directly, his eyes almost black with intensity, he answered, "Scorpion could burn in hell if I just had one more chance to be with you." His jaw clenched, he looked toward the ceiling as a single tear escaped his tight control and slipped from the corner of his eye down the side of his face before he hastily dashed it away.
Paige gasped, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm here, Walter. I'm not leaving. And I love you. So much."
Grabbing each other and holding on tight, she sobbed softly into his shoulder. He breathed her in, his relief profound. The knot in his stomach relaxed for the first time in many miserable weeks. "I missed you so much," he murmured in her ear, "Stay up here with me tonight?"
Paige nodded. Her voice was shaky and husky when she said, "Walter, I have something to confess."
Pulling back so he could look her in the eyes again, he asked, "What's that?"
"I lied. There are no renovations happening at my apartment."
Walter chuckled, pulled her back to him and gently kissed her trembling smile.
