WHERE'S WALTER?
AN: I guess I'm still a tad heartbroken about the whole Walter-Paige-Interloper triangle nonsense. And now I know Tim is with us at least through Thanksgiving. He's like herpes. There's no getting rid of him. Anyway, this is WAY angst-y. Hopefully the next bit of fluff I write will be a little more light-hearted. I guess we'll see after the episode tonight.
Rated 'K'
And please review. It will work to improve my mood.
"Where's Walter?" Paige asked for what felt like the millionth time in the last several months. He was never in her line of sight these days unless they were working on a case. And she never saw him if Tim was around. Not for the first time she wondered if the garage had secret corridors. She was tempted to ask Happy to install a GPS tracker on the man…or make him start wearing a red striped sweater and a bobble hat so the other geniuses could make a game out of spotting him. It was getting a little tiresome. As usual, her answers came from all quarters in the form of shrugs with no one volunteering to help her search.
She sighed and walked to her desk. Pressing the 'Talk' button on the intercom, she said, "Walter?"
No answer. Not a new development. It just happened with more frequency these days.
After checking to make sure the 'company car' was still in the lot, Paige made her way up the stairs to the loft. Sure enough, the genius was in the lab standing in front of a white board staring at the squiggles and scrawls of a complicated equation and tapping a dry erase marker against his bottom lip completely lost in his thoughts.
She rapped on the doorframe with one knuckle. "Walter?" Paige tried once again to get his attention. Nothing. "Walter!" She said a little louder.
Her boss slowly turned to face her then, dropping the hand holding the pen back down to his side. "Hmm? Uh, sorry. Did you need something?"
"Ralph just told me about your gift to him. It's... it's too much."
He stood silently for a beat, looking confused and slightly hurt. "It was for Christmas and his birthday. You, uh, don't approve?"
Paige quickly amended, "No, it's not that I disapprove. Believe me, I appreciate it. It's just too generous of you."
Her boss gave her a wry smile in return. "It wasn't all that generous. Happy and I will enjoy the project just as much and it won't be finished for a long while yet. Ralph and I have been talking about designing our own car with all the features we'd like to have for months now. And he's wanted to experiment with alternate fuels ever since he took that automotive engineering class at Cal Tech. I just provided the materials necessary to get started."
"You bought him a sports car engine."
"We will be changing and improving things, but, essentially yes. And it will eventually grow into a whole car for him about the time he's old enough to drive." Walter nodded enthusiastically. Then he looked unsure again, "I really wanted to do this for him. Please?"
Paige shook her head. How could she say no when they were both so excited? "Do I get a say in the safety features at least?"
"Of course," he said hopefully.
"Thank you. For all of it. Ralph is thrilled. Absolutely over the moon."
Walter was positively beaming and it twisted something inside her to realize this was the happiest and most animated she had seen him, when she saw him at all, in a very long time. They stared at each other unspeaking for a few moments before he cleared his throat and looked down. When had things gotten so awkward between them?
Paige was the first one to break the silence. "Patrick just got here before I came up. We'll be ready to eat in fifteen minutes or so."
She started to turn around to head for the stairs when she heard his quiet reply. "Oh, um. I'm not very hungry. Just…go ahead and start without me."
Paige leaned one shoulder on the door jam as she faced him again. "Walter. It's Christmas dinner. And it's the first time we've all done something together as a whole group in a good while."
Still refusing to meet her gaze, he mumbled, "You know I'm not big on the holidays."
"I know. But you've celebrated with us the last two years. You can put in an appearance this time too, can't you?" She tried to squelch her impatient tone.
Walter gave her a pained look. "I'm really busy with my new algorithm."
"And you can't put it aside for half an hour to come and eat with the rest of us? Why? What on Earth is this really about? I hardly see you any more. Are you avoiding me?"
His 'yes' was barely audible and it lanced a sharp jab of hurt straight through her heart. When he saw the look on her face, he hurried to correct his answer, "Not-not you specifically. Well, okay, p-partly. But only when…" He ground to a halt grimacing.
She stalked over to him and crossed her arms. "When what, Walter? When I'm with Tim? Is that it?"
"Yes. Okay?"
Her eyes flashed and her chin went up. She opened her mouth to retort, "Not okay!" She managed before he interrupted her.
He said in a rush, "I have done everything you asked. I promised you I wouldn't sabotage you again. I told Tim I wouldn't interfere. And I haven't. And I know someone like me will likely never… I'm probably always going to be on my own. I'm just not equipped for…well. And I-I am glad you're happy. You deserve to be. But you-you can't reasonably expect, uh, me to want to-to…watch. It's too much to ask. I think it would be even for someone who is fully-formed."
Tears stung Paige's eyes. "Walter," she whispered. Then she swallowed and said around the tightness in her throat, "Who told you that? Who said you aren't fully-formed?"
Staring down at his shoes and shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he finally answered, "Someone I respect. Someone who cares about me."
"It's not true. Well, it's no more true for you than any of the rest of us. We are all changing and growing throughout our lives. We all have room to improve. That's part of what it means to be human."
His eyes still downcast, he smiled crookedly and just shrugged. "Some of us have more improving to do than others, I guess."
Unable to stop herself, Paige leaned in and enveloped Walter in a hug. His arms stayed at his sides for a blink or two, but he finally leaned into her, sliding his arms around her middle. He rested his forehead against her shoulder and she felt the tension leave his body momentarily as he breathed a sigh against her neck.
When he pulled away from her, neither one could make eye contact. At a loss for words, Paige turned and made her way toward the stairs. She nearly missed his murmured, "Merry Christmas, Paige."
Pasting on a smile for the others, she busied herself setting the table and putting the finishing touches on the feast even though her heart still ached. She was unable to tolerate the thought that the garage was his home, and he yet wasn't even comfortable joining them for a meal there. Hurriedly, she fixed two plates, turned to Ralph and said, "Honey, would you like to eat upstairs with Walter?"
She set both plates on a tray while her son fairly gushed in reply, "Yes! Could I? We want to start making our plans for the engine improvements as soon as we can!"
From then on she would make sure Walter wasn't so alone. Not on her watch.
