A Ralph by Any Other Name
The butterflies in his stomach were developing claws and teeth. And maybe horns. Or at least that's what it felt like when his innards were twisting so painfully.
Why had he requested pizza for dinner? Usually one of his favorites, it was now threatening to make a reappearance and he was sure it would rendered very unappetizing in the process.
Fourteen year old Ralph sat on the edge of his bed clutching his phone in one hand while attempting to calm the nausea and nervous jumping by rubbing his middle with the other. He rehearsed this conversation in his head several dozen times and quickly ran through the odds of a favorable outcome. Neither the rehearsals nor the odds nor any amount of logic did anything to alleviate his anxiety. There were way too many variations and variables to make an accurate assessment.
The subject first came up at dinner twelve days before. Prior to that it had always been an idea in the back of his mind. He might have written and typed it once or twice or a couple hundred times over the last five years to test it out and see if it looked right. But he'd never voiced the idea aloud to anyone or considered the actual logistics of making it a reality.
Before the discussion at dinner twelve days ago, Ralph and Walter had spent weeks researching and found the perfect restaurant advertizing gorgeous views of the Pacific Ocean. Pouring over tide charts they'd made reservations for an evening when the tide would be coming in right at sunset, figuring the natural beauty would be at its dramatic peak at that time. Walter rented tuxedos for the both of them. They ordered an assortment of all of his mom's favorite flowers for the table. Then the two of them covertly picked out a ring they both felt suited her. After that, the pair spent days making and editing a comprehensive list of all the reasons why it would be advantageous for them to legally become a family.
For those weeks, it was Ralph who had to prop Walter up, constantly reminding the older genius that in actuality his mom thought weird was great, evidenced by the fact she loved her boyfriend very much and generally reassuring him she would gladly say 'yes'.
And she did. Immediately, of course.
In fact she'd been so delighted, she agreed before either of them needed to present even one argument in favor. There was absolutely no need to convince or debate. His beaming mother, eyes shining, said yes before Walter could get all the words of his initial proposal out. And the three of them spent the rest of the meal making plans as they celebrated with flutes of sparkling white grape juice for the men and champagne for his mom. All of them decided they wanted it to happen sooner rather than later.
That's precisely when the subject first came up.
It wasn't that Ralph disliked the name Dineen. It was his grandmother's name too and it was Irish just like O'Brien. It flowed well with his first and middle names. It was his grandfather's name and his mom gave it to him because she wanted him to carry it on seeing as how her father was gone before Ralph was born.
She understood his reasoning for wanting to become an O'Brien though. She was great about stuff like that. After all, she'd already decided to take Walter's name when they married as well. He knew it was only symbolic, but Ralph wanted that tangible, irrefutable documentation they were finally a family. Without question. One hundred percent related. All three of them. And he would share that last name with any siblings he might have in the future. If his brothers and/or sisters turned out to be normal, it would cut down on confusion for them.
The sappy look his parents exchanged when he presented that reason made him wrinkle his nose, but he was also secretly thrilled their feelings for each other were still so obviously strong.
That left only one major obstacle to him becoming Ralph O'Brien.
His biological father.
There was no rational excuse for his father to object. Dineen wasn't even his last name. From the beginning, Ralph had never been called Baker. It was always Dineen on his birth certificate as if his mother knew from the start Drew's only contribution would be the required DNA. The problem was, that same legally binding document also listed Andrew Charles Baker as his father and his father might not view things rationally. Because in allowing Ralph to change his name, Drew would be giving up any paternal rights. Not that he exercised them on any regular basis.
After reuniting when Ralph was nine, and being a presence in his son's life for a few months, Drew really didn't have a lot of contact with him. Once his father moved to the east coast, his phone calls became sporadic and his visits less frequent amounting to a few days once or sometimes twice a year. Nowadays their relationship was mostly reduced to twenty dollars in a birthday card and fifty in a Christmas card and the requisite awkward thank-you call his mother insisted Ralph should make before he spent the money. The boy heard from his grandmother much more often and she was legally dead and in hiding.
But still. It was unpredictable how Drew would react to his request.
Both his mom and dad… Ralph paused a moment in his thinking to smile. It felt so good to really be able to think of Walter in those terms now that it was almost official and legally binding. It felt stable. Sturdy. Permanent. Something he'd craved ever since he could remember. And he basked in the feeling.
Both of his parents offered to make the phone call for him. They loved him and wanted to spare him the discomfort. But Ralph didn't think Drew would respond as well to either of them.
Even though Walt… Dad was better than he used to be, he still struggled with diplomacy and tact. Plus, there was always obvious tension between the two men from the time they met. And his mom? Well, she tried not to show it most of the time, but he could tell she harbored a little resentment for the years of abandonment and struggle just as Ralph suspected his father still harbored possessive feelings for the family he left.
No. It was up to him.
They also offered to sit with him while he called. He appreciated their support, but the young genius thought he should handle things on his own this once. However, it was nice to know his mom and dad were right down the hall in the living room, probably clutching hands in anticipation of the outcome and feeling every bit as nervous on his behalf.
Hands shaking, Ralph hit the 'send' icon and, half hoping it would go straight to voicemail, he listened to it ring. Once. Twice. Three…
"Hey, Ralph. What's up?"
All of his rehearsed speeches went straight out of his head. Ralph had a sudden wish he'd consulted Toby for coaching on how to manipulate the situation. He swallowed, trying to wet his dry throat. "Are you there?" Drew asked when the pause got too long.
Ralph finally managed to force a tremulous, "H-hey," out before his father got the impression he'd been butt dialed and hung up. "Uh, I need to t-tell you… ask you something…"
OOOOOOOOOO
No one was surprised when Ralph graduated as Valedictorian of his class two years earlier than his peers. It was unanimously agreed the sixteen year old genius' mind was a force to be reckoned with and it was ready to be completely unleashed on the collegiate world. He'd had many very flattering offers from good tech schools all over the country, but in the end he'd decided to stay at Cal Tech to be close to family and friends.
It was unseasonably warm in Southern California and Ralph was beginning to sweat in his black cap and gown from the sun beating down as well as from nerves. His gown was draped with enough cords and ribbons and awards he could have easily toppled forward from the weight. The academic medals were winking the sun's reflection back at the audience as he sat on the stage waiting for his turn to speak.
He'd rehearsed his speech dozens of times. He just hoped the words didn't fly out of his head, as they'd previously done at times when he was nervous, as soon as he stepped up to the podium. Public speaking was never high on his list of favorite things to do. But he wasn't going to picture the audience members in their underwear as Toby suggested. Ralph thought that would actually be more distracting than helpful.
He caught his dad's eye as the principal was talking. Walter's buttons were nigh to bursting with pride. Ralph could see it all over his face. The anxiety fled and calm rushed to take its place, because he knew even if he tripped over his feet and fell off the stage it wouldn't alter the opinions of the people who mattered most.
"And now let's hear a few wise words from our Valedictorian, Ralph O'Brien."
The whole front row seemed to jump to its feet whistling and shouting and generally making asses out of themselves. There was Sylvester, always his biggest fan, clapping and grinning ear to ear, discreetly dabbing at his eyes. Next to him Toby had his hands cupped around his mouth shouting, "Speech! Speech!" until his wife elbowed him in the ribs. Happy was whistling loudly in between grabbing her young sons by their collars to keep them from running to join Ralph on the stage. Cabe was next, yelling, "Way to go, Ralphie!" Allie was smiling indulgently at him while she cheered. Then his mom and dad and baby sister enthusiastically clapping and calling encouragement were next in line. And the last one in the row was Drew who took a break from applauding to give him a sideways smile and a thumbs up.
When the roar died down and people were once again seated, Ralph cleared his throat and began, "You've heard the old adage 'It takes a village to raise a child'? Well, what you just witnessed? Those are my village people…"
