Every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise. No one compares to you, I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side. All my friends ask me why I stay strong. Tell them when you find true love, it lives on. That's why I stay here. And there's no remedy for memory, for face is like a melody, it won't leave my head. Your soul is haunting me and telling me that everything is fine, but I wish I was dead. ~ Lana Del Rey, Dark Paradise
EPOV
They had several of the same little quirks, Bella and her mother. There were obvious similarities too, the hair and eyes, as well as their facial structure. It was completely obvious they were related. There were also little things. The way Elena fidgeted with her napkin, pulling at the loose strings as she told us her story was the exact same thing Bella was doing with her sweater not two hours prior in my office. Elena scrunched her nose when she talked about her past, the same way Bella would whenever she was uncomfortable with a conversation.
Every instinct I had told me to be wary of this woman. From the moment I saw her walk up on Aro's arm so long ago, just the thought of her left me furious. She abandoned her child, then found out she was successful and tried to use her over twenty years later. The woman sitting across from us was not the same one, though.
She was sober, for one thing. And she seemed genuinely remorseful for her wrongdoings. She never snapped back at Bella and never made Bella feel guilty for doing so in the first place. Elena was truly taking responsibility for her mistakes and putting the ball in Bella's court.
That's not to say I would ever trust the woman. No, once my trust was broken it was broken for good. Second chances were not something I gave lightly, and Elena Rossi certainty wasn't getting one. If Bella wanted to continue to meet with her, that was one thing. But, she would never be a trusted member of this family.
Elena ended the dinner by telling Bella she would like to see her again, maybe set up a monthly meeting if it was something she was interested in. I could tell by then that Bella was more confused than ever about the whole thing. She was quiet and had a deep frown on her face. It wasn't until we were getting into bed that she finally started talking about it.
"Do you think she was telling the truth?" she asked as she slid under the comforter. Bella sat with her back against the headboard, and her knees pulled up to her chest.
I got in beside her, taking her left hand in mine and started fiddling with her wedding bands. "About what in particular?"
"Everything." Bella shrugged. "I just… I don't want to…"
"If you don't want to ever see her again you don't have to, Bella. No one would blame you." Looking over at her, her distress was obvious. She was tugging at the blanket, and I could see the blanket moving as she fidgeted with her legs and feet.
"When I was growing up I was desperate for Renee's approval. All I wanted was for her to say I did a good job on a test, or just any kind of validation from her. It was pathetic –"
"It's not pathetic to want the woman you believe to be your mother to love you." Christ, the things I wanted to do to those people for all of the lasting scars they left on Bella.
"I don't want to turn into that sad girl desperate for her mother's approval again."
Reaching over, I pulled Bella toward me and she situated herself in my lap. I ran my fingers through her soft hair, wishing I could take away every sad thought running through her mind. "There's nothing sad or desperate or pathetic about you, Isabella. I can confidently say that you are the strongest woman I have ever met. It's an odd situation but you can make it whatever you want it to be. You can go to lunch with Elena once a month to simply get to know her, or you can decide you don't want any reminders of that part of your life. No one will judge you either way."
Bella sighed against me, leaning her forehead against mine. "How'd you get so wise?"
Ignoring her question, I kissed the soft pout of her lips. By the time I was done with her, it had turned into a content smile as she fell asleep.
I waited a few minutes for her breathing to even out before I got up. There was still work I had to do. Tonight, Jacob Black was finally getting his punishment. No words could describe the absolute rage that coursed through me when I got that call from Ben weeks ago. He didn't go into specifics, he simply said there was an incident with Jacob. Told me Bella screamed for him and he found Jacob pressed against her, her shirt torn. Fucking imbecile.
Bella was mine, had been for years, and the asshole still thought he had some kind of claim on her. Even though he had been married for half of that time, even though he was currently seeing Katrina, he still thought he could touch her.
When Bella told me what happened the next morning, she actually started to blame herself. She was going to apologize for Jacob Black not being able to take no for an answer, and that was completely unacceptable.
I didn't like that she wanted to talk to him alone, didn't quite understand why she cared if he was involved with the Petrov's, but that was who she was. Bella felt responsible for every horrible thing that happened that could even slightly be traced back to her. The way I saw it was that Jacob Black was a grown adult and he made his own decisions. He is responsible for getting involved with Katrina and anything that comes along with that. To Bella, Jacob only ever met Katrina because of her relationship with me and my relationship with Petrov.
Simply put, my wife was too kind and caring for her own good. Bella signed the protective order the next morning with only a little hesitation. Legal matters made her skittish, which I understood, but I wasn't going to take any chances.
Bella knew me well enough to know that I wasn't going to stop with the protective order but hadn't asked me what I planned to do with Jacob. That also meant she hadn't tried to tell me not to do anything. Tonight was just the start of Jacob Black's punishment.
I wasn't going to kill him, that was too easy. No, tonight a few of my hired men were going to teach Black a lesson. He would end up in the hospital, there was no doubt, but he would live. Then he would think his punishment was over, but it was far from over. I would have men visit him from time to time, always giving him the same feeling he gave Bella when he held her against her will.
Jacob Black's punishment would never end. One of these days I would make the trip out to be there for one of his reminders. Just for fun. For now, I would settle for waiting for the confirmation call that the job was done.
…Dark…
The Chicago Police Department was full of idiots. That was the only explanation, because somehow someone there let the press get ahold of the transcript of Bella's polygraph. It had been days of constant calls and articles. It was like we were reliving the year of Bella's incarceration. People were calling my wife a whore, a murderer, and a thousand other foul names.
Bella had taken everything in stride. Thankfully, unlike years ago, she wasn't locked up and actually on trial. People could talk all they wanted now, but Bella was free and clear of any charges. Thank God.
Unfortunately, the polygraph proved to the public, and several unaware family members, that Bella was Aro Volturi's daughter. And she knew it. The polygraph 'proved' she didn't know before the trial, but she knew now.
The day after the news broke there was a magazine cover that simply said Isabella Volturi. I had never seen Bella as furious as she was when she saw it. I knew my girl had a foul mouth at times but damn if she didn't out curse Emmett that morning.
The real kicker came just now, though. It had been about a week since the news broke. I was in the ensuite of our bedroom, having just showered this morning to get ready for work. Bella was, thankfully, still asleep. I had the news on the television in the corner, simply for some background noise, and then I heard a voice I never wanted to hear again.
"She obviously faked it. Bella is an actress, through and through. I have no doubt in my mind that she knew exactly who Aro was to her the night she killed him." Renee fucking Swan.
Turning to look at the television, I saw her sitting in a local news studio. Fuck, was she here, in Chicago? Jane sat next to her, nodding diligently. Then there was Charlie, looking uncomfortable but still not sticking up for Bella. Goddamn coward.
"Now, Charlie," the newscaster said. "You're the one who claims Isabella told you Aro was her father while she was incarcerated, correct?" Charlie nodded. "Do you believe she knew prior to the incident?"
"I, uh, can't say for sure."
"She knew," Renee claimed again. "I spent sixteen years with that girl. She's quite conniving. She knew." With that, the newscaster went on to the next story.
With a towel wrapped around my waist, I headed to the bedroom to find Bella. She was rolling over in bed, already awake as I expected. She looked happy, smiling as she saw me walk in, and I hated to ruin it.
"Hello," Bella practically purred as I walked over to her. Her eyes darkened as they raked over my body. I wish it was that kind of morning, baby.
I knelt down next to her, leaning on the bed with my forearms. "There's something you should see."
I took Bella to the ensuite, rewound the newscast, and we watched the full interview together. Those three were in town because news about the polygraph broke. Another thing to thank the CPD for. By the end of the interview, Bella was practically shaking with anger.
"I want to talk to them. Today."
Good. I wanted to have a few words with them myself. "I'll make the arrangements."
Later that afternoon, Bella met me at my office. She was an hour early, which I knew was because she was anxious to get this meeting over with. However, she was quite the distraction once she was here. Not that she talked much or actively tried to get my attention away from my work. But, she was in a shirt with sleeves that wrapped around her arms, leaving her shoulders completely bare. So, I spent the time before our meeting debating with myself whether she was wearing a bra, and if I could convince her to let me take her over my desk again.
By the time Jessica came over the intercom to inform us that Bella's relatives were here, I was about eighty percent sure she was braless and ninety percent sure she wouldn't let me have her in my office.
Standing with Bella in the sitting area of my office, we waited for them to come in. We both knew this wasn't going to be a pleasant meeting, so I gave Bella's hand a gentle squeeze. They all entered without a word, Renee, Jane, and Charlie. The only one that looked the least bit remorseful was Charlie, but even that wasn't enough. Odds were he was just sorry that he was having to own up to his actions.
"Sit down," I snapped, not bothering with any pleasantries. They all took a seat on the couch opposite from where Bella and I were now sitting.
It was silent for a good three minutes before Charlie spoke up. "How are you, Bells?"
"You've got a lot of fucking nerve, coming in here and asking her how she is," I told him, shocked that was what he chose to ask. They were on television less than five hours ago accusing her of perjury and murder.
"Why'd you do it?" Bella asked, getting right to the point.
Renee scowled. "Because the world deserved to know the truth about you."
"You think they don't know enough about me? I'd say a month on the witness stand, divulging every fucking secret I had was enough insight for them."
"We all know you can lie, Isabella. You don't have to pretend with us," Renee scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, apparently I do because you'll take everything I say and put it in a fucking book!" Bella screamed. She slumped over in her spot, tugging at her hair with her fingers. All I could do was rub comforting circles on her back. There were tears forming in her eyes when she looked up again.
"You were my family. For twenty-one years, I thought you were my family. We had breakfast every morning, and we snuck in Oreo's with peanut butter. I paid for Jane's education, bought you the best goddamn house in Forks, and have been financially supporting you since I was sixteen."
Christ, was she still giving them money? I rarely checked her bank accounts because Bella never used them. I saw all of the activity on my card and knew she had no problem using that for everything these days.
"Why did you two do it?" Bella asked, looking at Renee and Jane with just… absolute desperation in her eyes. It made my chest constrict. "You didn't need the money. Why?"
They were both silent. Jane looked like she wanted to say something, opening her mouth a few times, but always quickly shutting it when her mother looked at her.
"Because I wanted to ruin your life like you ruined mine," Renee said, her voice eerily cold and calm. I wanted to strangle her. No, what I really wanted was to get the gun that sat in my desk drawer and… Do not kill her. Do not kill her.
"What about you?" Bella questioned, her voice tight and barely hanging on to her composure. She looked over at Charlie, who looked… indifferent.
"I loved you, Bells, I always did. But this… you aren't the same girl I raised. I didn't save you so you could end up with a man like that, and I didn't raise you to be someone so ruthless."
"You would rather Aro Volturi have killed me that night?" Fuck, those words coming out of her mouth made me see red.
Charlie didn't hesitate with his answer. "I would rather the good girl I raised die an honorable death than have to see her become you." Jesus Christ.
Bella sucked in a breath, her eyes wide as she looked at the one member of her family she thought she still had on her side. It was a good two minutes before she spoke again. "I want you out of my house by the end of the month. You will never receive another dime from me. Go to the press about us again and Ill sue you all for defamation, libel, slander… whatever I can. Never contact me again."
Bella got up and walked over to the back of the office, looking out the wall of windows behind my desk. I sat still, watching each of them, though mostly keeping my eyes on Charlie. I expected the pettiness of Jane and Renee, but his words were still bothering me.
With my elbows on my knees, I leaned forward to get their attention. "If any of you ever disrespect her again, I'll know and I'll have no problems personally making sure you can never hurt her again."
There was so much more I wanted to say. I wanted to lecture them all on how idiotic it was to let Bella slip out of their lives, tell them how strong and loyal and powerful she was. They had to know that all already, though. They were just stupid enough to let her go.
"Get the fuck out of here," I grunted, watching with just a little satisfaction as they all immediately went to the door, letting it slam shut behind them.
I sat for a moment and watched as Bella stood by the window, her silhouette outlined in the afternoon sun. It made no sense to me how someone could know Bella for more than a few minutes and not want more. As soon as I sat next to her at that police benefit, the moment she started talking to me I knew nothing would ever be enough. She was a puzzle I wanted to try to solve for the rest of my life.
"Are you okay?" I walked over to where Bella stood. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her back to my chest. The second I had her against me I felt the tough exterior she put up for the meeting crumble, quiet sobs escaped as she turned and wrapped her arms around my waist.
For years I had watched Bella try to find a balance with her adoptive family. She hadn't talked to Renee in years, and that meant Jane was on her mother's side as well. I watched her write to Charlie and saw how she struggled with how he had changed, too. I had no clue his hatred ran that deep, deep enough to say he wished she had died.
It was easy for me to cope with lies and betrayal, they were practically an everyday occurrence for me. But Bella was different. She believed in the good in people, especially Charlie. There wasn't much I could say to her, so I sat us on the couch and let her cry into my neck.
Later that same night, Bella was pacing in our closet, clad in only a nude-colored bra and panty set. "Are we skipping dinner?" I asked, letting my eyes take in every curve, every line of ink, every inch of skin I knew like the back of my hand.
"No. I don't know what to wear. What says 'I'm sorry for not telling you I'm the bastard child of your family's enemy and that I lied about knowing he was my father for nearly five years'?"
"Hmm, I think what you've got on is perfect." I smiled at her, enjoying the pink blush spreading over her chest and cheeks just seconds before she scowled at me. She had rebounded surprisingly fast from the meeting with the Swan's. After we left my office she simply told me she wasn't going to let them get to her anymore, and that was that. I had never seen someone with such control over her emotions before.
"I'm serious. Everyone is going to hate me. I already lost one family today, I can't afford to lose another." Bella pulled a blush colored dress out, looked at it for a second, and sighed as she settled on it. Who knew a dress could say so much?
"No one is going to be mad, Bella. Emmett and Jasper already knew, and Alice and Rosalie know it isn't any of their business." The women knew there were certain things they weren't supposed to discuss. Bella's incarceration and the night with Aro were a few of them.
I ran the family differently than Carlisle did. For one, Bella was very involved. Business wise, we were had been working together for years. I sponsored her last two tours, and we were in the final stages of putting together the production company. The talent agency with Heidi and Kate was also running smoothly so far.
I also confided in Emmett and Jasper more than Carlisle ever confided in any of us. Yes, the last few years it was the brain tumor that was the issue, but even before that he kept a lot of things to himself. It wasn't a good way to run our operations. We needed to look at things from every angle, and we needed various opinions to do that.
The one thing I refused to openly talk about was the night Bella killed Aro. Bella and I rarely brought it up. The only time she openly said the words that she had done what she was accused of was that first night on the island. It wasn't something I wanted anyone else knowing; every extra person that knew was a liability, no matter who they were.
Thankfully, the family seemed to respect it. Whether they didn't ask because they didn't want to hurt or offend Bella or if they knew it was a hard limit I didn't know.
I sighed as I watched Bella carefully slide a bracelet over her wrist. Her incident with Jacob made her realize she had to stop being so sensitive about her wrists. It fucking killed me to listen to her say that if he hadn't grabbed her wrist, if she hadn't frozen when it happened, she could have gotten out of the situation before it escalated. I should have helped her with the issue sooner.
Through the years, I brought up her wrist sensitivity a few times, asking her if she wanted to see someone to talk about it or if she wanted me to help her sort through it. Every time I mentioned it, she looked so fucking scared. Absolutely petrified. A look that I would never want to see on her face. So, I let it slide.
Now, though, she was working on it at her own pace. She started wearing light bracelets again, and then moved up to a few of the larger, heavier ones. It was a slow process, but it was progress nonetheless.
As we got to Emmett and Rosalie's home, Bella was still tense. I gave her hand a firm squeeze as we walked through the front door. It was unusually quiet, especially considering we were about half an hour late. Then we heard the hushed whispers.
"I mean… she had to have known, right?" Rosalie said in a soft voice. I was ready to go in for blood, but Bella gripped my hand, pulling me back.
"The polygraph said she didn't. We can't assume, Rose." Alice.
"I totally think she knew," Jared said, not bothering to whisper at all. It wasn't surprising. While he had buckled down and stopped getting into so much trouble, there was still a long way to go before I ever trusted him with anything.
Bella sighed and let go of my hand, let me go and defend her. I looked down at her and saw the shame all over her face. She willingly admitted that she killed Aro, she lied on the stand, she broke about fifty federal laws, but she would never brag about it. She didn't do it for fun, she did it to survive.
"Do you have something to say to us?" I asked, walking into the room where everyone was gathered. It was only Alice, Rose, Jared, and Maggie. Emmett and Jasper were probably in his office upstairs, perhaps with Alec. I didn't think they were in here, they would have put a stop to the discussion long ago.
"Oh, Edward. We didn't hear you come in," Rosalie said, having the decency to look ashamed. Her shame doubled as Bella walked in behind me.
"I'm sorry," Rosalie and Alice said at the same time.
"It's okay. You're curious, I understand. Though I'd rather you asked me to my face as opposed to talking behind my back," Bella said quietly. She was rarely this timid. She seemed… defeated. I didn't like it at all.
"Did you know, before it happened?" Rosalie asked her.
"No," Bella replied, conviction ringing in her voice.
"Would it have changed anything if you had?" Jared spoke up, looking completely intrigued.
"No. I didn't have a choice. Aro would have killed me."
Few things completely gutted me. Hearing Bella talk about fighting for her life, whether she planned it or not, was one of them. The room went completely silent, until Rosalie spoke up again.
"That woman, the one that handed me a letter a few weeks ago, is she your biological mother?"
Bella nodded. "Yes. Her name is Elena."
"She looked just like you."
"I'm sorry I never told you," Bella started. "I just… hate even thinking that I'm related to any of them."
That was just part of why we never told them, of course. Bella did hate that she was related to the likes of Tanya and Felix, but we also didn't want anyone speculating anything. As always, the less people who knew, the better.
"Shit," Alice mumbled, sitting down on the couch. "You're a Volturi."
"No, she isn't," I interrupted, finally. That was where I drew the line. "She's a Cullen, through and through."
With that, our dinner went on as usual. There was laughter and jokes, all traces of seriousness forgotten for the time being. About halfway through dinner Bella got quiet, looking from person to person as they talked and retreating into herself.
After years with her, I was very attuned to her mood shifts. They were more often around times of unrest, or when she was stressed. Unfortunately, there had been a lot of both of those lately.
When we got home, Bella remained quiet and contemplative. By the time she crawled into bed I could tell she wanted to talk but didn't want to at the same time. Confusing woman, oh how I love you.
Instead of pushing, I went and changed, putting on a t-shirt and some sweatpants. When I exited the closet, Bella was sitting up in bed, her knees pulled to her chest.
"I'm not a very likable person," she whispered as I approached.
"I like you."
"Char – the Swan's hate me. Esme hates me, so Carlisle probably does, too. Most of the world hates me. The whole Aro situation can't define me forever… right? There are a hell of a lot worse people out there than me."
Sitting on the bed next to her, I tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It's not that you're not likable. It's that you're too intimidating." She scoffed. "Hear me out. People are either scared or attracted to people in power. You're a very polarizing person; you hold a lot more power than you know."
After leaving Bella to sleep, I went to my office to get a little work done. For the past week or so, things were too quiet. Things went too smoothly. It was like waiting for an impending hurricane.
It had only been about half an hour since I left Bella alone when she stumbled into the office, pillow and blanket in hand. Nothing was said, she simply plopped herself down on the couch and got comfortable.
This was Bella's most endearing quality. She hated sleeping in our bed alone if I was home. So, sometimes when I worked late she would make herself comfortable on the couch in my office, just so she wasn't alone. When I was done, I would carry her back to bed with me.
A/N: This is another chapter that'll be split in two. Edward's got a lot to say for now. There's also quite a cliffhanger for the next chapter. I'm going to be out of town for a week and I won't be able to update for the next week or so. I didn't want to leave you all hanging like that. So, we'll enjoy this somewhat happy end until I'm back from vacation!
As always, thank you for your continued comments and reviews. I love hearing what you all are thinking!
