A/N: Some of you might need a tissue warning for this one. See you at the bottom!


Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fucking dream I'm living in. Baby love me cause I'm playing on the radio. Lick me up and take me like a vitamin, cause my body's sweet like sugar venom, oh yeah. ~ Lana Del Rey, Radio

BPOV

"Fuck," Edward grunted, his grip on my hips tightening, keeping me in place as he pounded into me. The edge of the bathroom counter dug into my legs while I had to grip Edward's shoulder and the wall next to me to keep from falling but it was all worth it.

"Harder," I whispered, unable to catch my breath. I moved my grip from Edward's shoulder to his hair, still wet from his shower. When he complied with my request my head lulled back, nearly bashing into the mirror behind me. It would have if Edward hadn't quickly put his hand behind my head, pulling it to his shoulder instead.

"You feel so good, baby. So," thrust. "Fucking," thrust. "Good," thrust.

I bit down on his shoulder to keep myself somewhat quiet as we both came.

Neither of us moved for minutes. Edward's hands slowly rubbed my thighs and mine tugged lightly at his hair, but that was it. A surprisingly sweet moment after a not so sweet morning fuck.

"I was just bringing you some toast," I panted, smiling against his shoulder.

"You were bringing me toast while wearing a threadbare robe with your hair all sexy and rumpled. What was I supposed to do?"

I could give in to the robe part, it was old but it was my favorite. But, I wouldn't have called my hair sexy at all. It was a mess from someone digging their fingers in it the night before.

Edward helped me off the counter, steadying me as my knees nearly buckled underneath me. I got a quick kiss to my forehead before I took my turn in the shower. Our morning had been refreshingly ordinary today. It had only been a couple days since Edward had been cleared by the doctor, but it finally felt like things were getting back to normal.

I was lathering the shampoo in my hair when the shower door opened and Edward popped his head in. "Are you coming to the office today?"

"Probably after the doctor. Why?"

"Good. I'll be home late. Come see me at some point, okay?"

"Okay," I told him with a smile. After a quick kiss he closed the door and left.

Despite the pleasurable morning, I wasn't looking forward to today. Edward, being the worrier that he is, always made sure I had regular physicals from Doctor Banner. It was the healthy thing to do, but I hated going. There was nothing more uncomfortable than being poked and prodded by someone you hardly knew.

When Edward told me it was because he wanted to make sure the tremors from my shoulder never got worse, I gave in and agreed to keep up with the visits.

That was how I ended up sitting in a stuffy doctor's office nervously twitching my leg waiting for Banner to show up. The appointment was as monotonous as ever. He asked me basic questions, stretched out my arm and checked my reflexes. He frowned a bit as he pressed against my abdomen but said nothing. I had to sit around and wait as a nurse took some blood and told me Banner would be back soon.

Soon turned out to be about an hour later. I was bored and frustrated by the time he got back.

"I apologize for the wait, Mrs. Cullen. I just had to double check your blood test. Everything is fine," he added quickly as my eyes widened. "It appears you're pregnant."

Pregnant.

Pregnant.

Pregnant.

"Excuse me?" I asked, feeling all of the air leave my lungs like I was punched in the gut.

"I was surprised as well," he said with a slight smile. "Your records from your past surgery clearly detail an extensive amount of damage to your abdomen and reproductive system."

"The doctor – he said I could never have a baby." I didn't make that up, right? That was what he said, multiple times. Too much damage meant no baby for me.

"To be fair, he was fairly accurate. There have been a few cases like yours, women with similar amounts of damage and they have a one in a million chance of conceiving a child. I would have told someone in your situation the same thing."

"I didn't even know – they said I –"

"I know it's confusing. Sometimes science doesn't have an answer either. But, I've contacted a specialist that I believe will work well for you. My secretary set you up with an appointment with her tomorrow morning." He handed me a business card. "I'm sorry I can't answer all of your questions. It isn't my area of expertise."

Blindly, I walked through the office. Ben met me in the waiting room and we walked down to the car in silence. My mind was going in too many different directions to think properly; it was like my brain was full of white noise.

Pregnant.

No, he had to be wrong. It wasn't his area of expertise, he admitted that. He was wrong.

"Stop at a drugstore, please," I told Ben, hoping he couldn't hear the panic in my voice.

When I pulled my phone out of my bag, I was surprised at how late it was already. The appointment must have taken even longer than I realized. There was also a message from Edward waiting for me.

Where are you?

Fuck, I had told him I would be in the office today.

Doctor took longer than usual. Everything is fine. Working from home. I'll see you when you get home.

Thank God it was a text and not a phone call. There was no way I would have been able to keep it together if I was talking to him.

The car stopped and I looked around, realizing we were parked in front of a drugstore. Shit, I couldn't walk in there and buy a test. Someone would see, then tell a friend, who would tell their friends, and by midnight the world would know I was pregnant.

I tapped on Ben's shoulder. "If I ask you to do something do you promise not to tell Edward?"

"I think we've established that I'd do nearly anything you need, Mrs. Cullen."

"Just don't tell Edward. Not yet, okay?" He nodded. "I need you to go in there and buy me one of every brand of pregnancy test they have."

He tried to hide his surprise, I could see the strain on his features as he did. He nodded quickly and left me sitting in the car. Five minutes later he returned carrying two bags full of boxes. I put them on the seat next to me and stared at them the entire drive home.

I practically jumped out of the car the second it was parked at home. I mumbled a quiet, "Don't tell him," to Ben as I passed him.

With my bags in one hand, I went to the kitchen and quickly grabbed five bottles of water from the refrigerator and ran upstairs, dropping a bottle about every two steps I took.

I sequestered myself in the bathroom, downing a bottle of water as I pulled out all of the boxes Ben got. Jesus, who knew there were so many brands of tests? They all did the same thing, right? Was one more accurate than the other?

The next few hours were spent simultaneously drinking an ungodly amount of water and peeing on little sticks. So many sticks. I was more hydrated than I had ever been in my life.

Each one said the same thing. Always pregnant. Each time. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

I wasn't sure what I was thinking would happen. Logically I knew a blood test was more reliable than these at-home ones. Was I hoping Banner would be wrong and that these would say something different?

No. That wasn't it, I didn't think so. I was just confused. So confused.

There were at least thirty tests all spread out on the counter in front of me. Thankfully I had run out of tests. There was no way I could drink another bottle of water or pee again.

Shit. I didn't know what to do; did I call Edward, tell him about it now? Did I go to the appointment tomorrow and see what that doctor said? Could I actually be pregnant?

When that thought floated across my mind I tossed my shirt over my head and stared at myself in the mirror. I didn't look pregnant at all. My stomach seemed normal to me, but Banner frowned as he touched it earlier. Is that what made him suspect something?

I ran my fingers lightly over my lower abdomen, gently pushing against the skin. It was maybe a little firmer, but that could have been because I had been working out more lately. Fuck, this was confusing.

At some point I started crying. I only realized it because I tear fell from my chin onto my stomach as I looked down. Pregnant.

A baby. Edward's baby. My baby. Growing inside me right now.

There was a soft knock at the door before it cracked open. "Bella?"

Fuck. He wasn't supposed to be here. He said he was working late. I looked down at my phone and realized it was a lot later than I realized, but still earlier than when he usually came home after 'working late.'

I panicked. I was shirtless and surrounded by pregnancy tests. There wasn't much I could do in the three seconds it took Edward to open the door and walk in.

He looked at me and frowned, probably thinking I had lost my mind. Then his eyes fell to the counter, covered in pregnancy tests. He picked them all up, every single one, and looked at them. Not showing any kind of worry that he was touching sticks I had peed on, he went through them one by one. When he turned back to me, his eyes were wide and his mouth open in shock.

"Banner did a blood test and told me this afternoon," I blurted out. "I didn't believe him though, so I took a few tests." I didn't really know what I should say to him. My mind was a mess of worry and fear and a hint of excitement that I was too scared to let grow.

"You're pregnant?"

"I, um, think so."

"They said you couldn't…"

"Banner said that people in situations like mine typically had a one in a million chance at getting pregnant."

Edward grabbed another one of the tests and stared at it, then sat on the floor, leaning against the cabinets. "Pregnant."

"Yeah," I sighed, quickly sitting next to him. "I mean, maybe. People have… issues all the time. I'm sure I'm more likely to have issues, too. Banner set me up with a specialist, I have an appointment tomorrow.

"I don't think… we shouldn't get too invested right now. Not until we know more."

There was that nagging thought in the back of my mind that this pregnancy could be taken away just as easily as the last one. I didn't want to get used to the possibility only for it to be ripped away from me twelve hours later.

Edward didn't say anything, he just sat next to me staring at the little pink stick. If anyone walked in they would think we were insane. Counter covered in pregnancy tests, me shirtless, and Edward speechless.

"Do you know –"

"All I know is what I told you, Banner couldn't tell me much." Looking over at him, I could get nothing from his expression. He didn't look angry or upset, but he didn't look happy either. I had known for a few hours and I still couldn't decide how I felt about the whole thing, I supposed it wasn't fair for me to expect Edward to know after seven minutes.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, ignoring the rational side of my brain.

Edward's head snapped in my direction. "No. Fuck, no I'm not mad at you, Bella. I'm shocked. Really fucking shocked. Your message seemed odd… But I didn't think I would come home to fifty positive pregnancy tests."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should have waited until my appointment tomorrow to tell you, when I knew more."

"No, I'm glad I know. We'll go tomorrow and find out what our next step is. Everything will be fine." He said the words to me, but I had a feeling he was talking to himself as well. It was odd, I had never seen him so frazzled before.

We sat in silence for a while. I rested my head on his shoulder, staring at the test still in his hands. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Edward asked out of the blue.

"I wanted to see if I was showing. Banner was feeling my abdomen, I think that's what made him suspect it enough to do a blood test."

"Are you?" He sounded hopeful, and it was like a knife to my chest. I didn't want that, because then tomorrow we would go to the doctor and she would say something was wrong. Something always went wrong and then we would both be left devastated.

"No, I don't think so."

I couldn't handle the silence anymore, so I stood up and started the shower. Showers always made me feel better. It would clear my mind, give me a fresh perspective.

When I started undressing, Edward followed my lead. We didn't talk as we showered. I washed his hair and he washed mine. His eyes never left me, and I could practically see the wheels turning in his head.

It was when Edward kneeled at my feet, presumably to wash my legs, that he placed the softest of kisses to my stomach. That was when I completely lost it.

"Please don't do that," I sobbed, unable to keep myself together any longer. "Please don't get your hopes up that this is real or that it'll all be okay," I blubbered. "I can't handle disappointing you like that again."

Edward wrapped his arms around me gently and let my body sag against his. All of my energy had left my body and I wasn't sure if I could make it to the bed. All I could do was cry.

Edward lifted me off of my feet and a moment later I was sitting on the counter amongst the fifty reminders of what was happening. I tried to wipe the tears off of my face, hoping it would help them stop, but nothing worked. The soft touches of the towel Edward was using to dry me off made me cry harder. Damn, I'm a mess.

He carried me to bed and gently tucked me under the covers. Once I was situated he wiped a few of the slowing tears off of my cheeks. "Have you eaten dinner?"

"No," I whispered. Peaking over at the clock, I saw it was nearly eleven at night. Fuck, where did the day go?

I quickly grabbed his hand as Edward moved to leave. "Please don't go."

"I'll be back in three minutes, I promise. You need to eat."

I watched the clock and sure enough, three minutes later, Edward walked back in with a plate and a glass of water. I sat up carefully and he put the plate in my lap, half of a sandwich and some fruit.

"Did you already eat?" I asked, begrudgingly eating a grape off of the plate.

"Yes, business dinner," he answered, getting into bed next to me.

Fuck. He was supposed to work late tonight. "Shit, I'm sorry. You can go –"

"I'm not going anywhere."

Edward sat next to me and watched me eat, making sure I finished everything. He took the plate from me and set it aside when I was done, and then pulled me against him as we laid down.

"I'm sorry for freaking out," I whispered in the darkness, just barely able to make out his face in front of mine.

"If any situation deserved a freak out, I think it would be this one."

I sighed. "Thanks for taking care of me."

"Always."

Dark…

This is weird. This is weird. This is really fucking weird. That was all I could think as Edward and I walked into the hospital. We took the most roundabout way to get to the office we needed, because the last thing I wanted was a headline announcing a pregnancy.

The morning had been a bit of a blur. We were both still in shock and hadn't talked much about our situation. I was pretty sure Edward was scared to do much talking after my meltdown last night.

I squeezed his hand as we were led into an exam room. Edward sat in a chair next to me and I hopped on the table, cringing at the crunch of the paper underneath me. The nurse who led us here didn't ask me any questions, simply said the doctor would be in soon.

My right leg started bouncing and I pulled at the strings of the plain grey sweatshirt I was wearing. I didn't have it in me to do much more than pull that on with a pair of black leggings this morning.

A firm hand rested on my right leg, stopping the bouncing, and another pulled my hands away from the strings. Edward leaned in, his lips at my ear. "I know you're scared and nervous and confused, but everything will be fine. No matter what, we'll get through it together. We always do."

Before I could respond the door opened and a woman in a white coat walked in. She was pretty; dirty blonde hair pulled back in a high pony tail and cheekbones I knew a few women would pay good money for. The moment she saw me she gave me a soft, comforting smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen. I'm Doctor Hartman," she said, holding her hand out to me.

"Hartman?" I asked. That was Edward's surgeon.

"Yes, I've heard quite a lot about you from my husband. I'm glad you seem to be doing better, Mr. Cullen."

"Thank you," Edward said with a nod, shaking her hand as well.

"You probably hate me," I blurted out. Shit, what was wrong with me?

"Why would I hate you?" she asked, sitting in a rolling chair across from Edward and me.

"I yelled at your husband a few times. Like… really screamed at him." It wasn't my proudest moment. I had very few proud moments when Edward was in the hospital.

"Yes, well, depending on how far along you are you may have pregnancy hormones to blame that on. Besides, every surgeon could use a good yelling at from time to time. They're far too egotistical," she said with a sly smirk.

Oh, I liked her. A lot.

"Now, the first thing I'd like to do is an ultrasound to see what we're working with. If you'd lie back, Mrs. Cullen."

Within just a few minutes I was on my back, my sweatshirt rolled up under my breasts, and the lights dimmed. The television on the wall across from us turned on and I tightened my grip on Edward's hand. He stood next to me, eying every movement the doctor made.

When she squeezed the gel on my abdomen, my mantra from earlier filled my mind again. This is weird. This is weird. This is really fucking weird.

As the doctor started to move the device over my abdomen the screen lit up as well. I had no clue what I was looking for, it all looked like a jumble of white noise to me. It felt like my heart was about to explode in my chest as she kept looking around.

"There we are," she said, pointing on the screen in front of her.

I squinted my eyes at the larger screen and could make out the slightest figure. The there was some movement and I swore I could see a hand. A hand!

"Holy shit," I mumbled. Then the gurgled sound of a heartbeat filled the room. "Holy shit."

"You're much farther along than I would have guessed. Do you have an extreme workout routine?"

"Um, not really," I said, somewhat distractedly while still staring at the screen across from me. Then I remembered all of the extra workouts because of Edward's accident. "I worked out a little harder the last month or two for some, uh, stress relief."

"Hmm." She looked at the screen a little longer. "I would say you're about sixteen weeks."

I could feel my eyes widen as I stared at her. "Sixteen weeks?" I nearly shouted. "That's… four months. How long are babies in there, like nine, right? That's… five months from now. Five!

"And how could I not know for sixteen weeks? Why don't I have a bump? Why weren't there any symptoms?" I couldn't stop the question vomit currently coming out. Sixteen weeks. Oh, my God.

"Well, the workouts are probably the main reason you haven't seen much of a bump yet. You're in excellent shape, some women don't gain as much weight as others. Though, I would like you to slow down on the work outs. Don't stop completely, of course, but gaining weight is good right now.

"Yes, most women typically deliver about nine months after conceiving. You are a rare case, though. I'm sure Doctor Banner told you, you had a very slight chance of conceiving after your surgery. Because of that, I'd like to keep a close eye on you, just in case.

"A lot of pregnancy symptoms, especially at your stage, could be mistaken for everyday issues; trouble sleeping, mood swings, things like that. It's understandable you didn't know, especially because you haven't gained much weight, because pregnancy was presumably taken off of the table for you."

"So… how then?" I asked.

"From what I understand, your prior surgery left you with a lot of damage to your reproductive system, but it was still functioning, just on a lower capacity than usual. You've probably had fewer, lighter periods, less regular menstruation is a big part of why it would be unlikely for you to have gotten pregnant, along with the rest of the damage to your uterus from the surgery.

"That being said, I would categorize you as a high-risk pregnancy because of that. We'll have you in more often for check-ups, keep a close eye on things."

"So…" Christ, I couldn't wrap my mind around any of this. "I'm actually pregnant. There's a baby in there… has been for sixteen weeks. In five months we're going to have a baby." None of them were questions, not really. Just me trying to sort out my thoughts out loud.

"Yes. In about five months you will have a baby. They look perfect so far. Would you like to know the sex?"

She still had the ultrasound going, the image of my uterus still on the screen. I looked over at Edward, who had been surprisingly quiet, and saw his eyes still locked on the image. I squeezed his hand and realized he was squeezing mine just has hard.

"Could you write it down?" Edward asked, his voice gruff. "So we can look at it later?"

The doctor smiled. "Of course. We'll get you a print out of the ultrasound as well."

Edward seemed to snap out of whatever was distracting him earlier and started his own questioning of the doctor while she wiped off my stomach. Most of his questions were about what he could do, what he should make sure I did, things like that.

"What about sex?"

"Sex is fine, as long as everything feels good and normal for you, Mrs. Cullen, it should be fine."

"Just Bella," I told her quietly, staring at my stomach. There's a baby in there.

Edward collected a few things from the doctor, our envelope with the sex written on it, prescriptions for vitamins that I would need to take, and some packets of information she thought would be useful for us.

Edward and I were both still lost in thought the entire drive home. It's one thing to have an unplanned pregnancy, that in and of itself is a shock. Getting pregnant when you spent the last ten years believing it was a complete impossibility is on a whole other level.

When we got home I tossed everything in my arms on the table in the entryway. Everything felt different now. Strange. We both froze in our spots, hands clasped between us.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered, mostly to myself because I still couldn't believe it.

"You're pregnant," Edward said, his voice stronger than mine.

"Are you… happy?" There was part of me that was terrified of the answer, and another more confident part that already knew.

"It's going to take some getting used to. But, yes, I think so. Are you?"

Now that some of the unknowns were clearer I could actually think about the situation without getting so overwhelmed. We knew for a fact I was pregnant, and the doctor said the child looked healthy. That was what held me back from my excitement yesterday, I was terrified something would be wrong.

For now, everything seemed good though. The sudden urge to cry hit me again, so I quickly wrapped my arms around Edward and pulled him as close as possible. "Yes, I'm very happy."

Edward didn't go to work for the rest of the day. It was partly to keep an eye on me, I think, but also because he seemed overwhelmed as well. When I grabbed my laptop and a blanket and went to the movie room, Edward went to go to the gym. He didn't leave until he had me situated comfortably in my spot.

I put on a movie, though I paid no attention to it. By the time the movie was coming to an end I had ordered twelve different books on pregnancy and googled enough to know I was exceptionally unprepared for what the next five months would bring me, let alone the next eighteen years.

Shit. I'm going to be a mother.

A/N: First things first, as you all could probably guess, I'm not a doctor and I have no experience being pregnant. I'm sure there are a lot of moms (maybe?) reading this who would be able to tell me a hundred things I get wrong about the process, but please take all of this with a grain of salt. I'm doing my best at making it as realistic as possible. Bella's whole pregnancy issue is completely made up by me – I know it's completely impossible or unlikely. This pregnancy was actually never part of my original plan, so I had to improvise.

Secondly, the next chapter will have a bit of crossover with this one in EPOV. I don't typically like to repeat a lot in the alternating POVs, but I thought you all would want his take on things as well.

Thirdly… ;)