So, you were never a saint, and I loved in shades of wrong. We learn to live with the pain, mosaic broken hearts. But this love is brave and wild. I never saw you coming, and I'll never be the same. This is a state of grace, this is the worthwhile fight. Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right. ~ Taylor Swift, State of Grace
EPOV
Our family had started a routine where every two weeks the children were divided amongst two couples and one got the weekend to themselves; from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. It was Bella's genius idea, giving each of us a break just when we needed it. Thankfully, this just happened to be our weekend free from Aiden.
I loved my son. Loved the tuft of reddish-brown hair on top of his head, a few shades darker than mine, and the brown eyes that matched Bella's perfectly. He was constantly curious, and it was amazing to watch him learn simple, new things and see the confusion on his face turn into fascination. In the two years since we had Aiden, we had grown into our own, becoming our own little family.
I should have known, though, that a child with Bella's stubbornness and my reluctance to do what people told me would be a handful during what I now understood were the terrible twos.
It seemed to be getting worse and worse, no matter how we handled it. It had started nearly the moment he turned two a few months ago and showed no signs of stopping. No matter what we said, Aiden either immediately started crying or did the exact opposite. I still loved the little guy, but he was driving both of us slowly insane.
Delilah was about six months older than Aiden and had the same thing happen, but after a few months she calmed down. Aiden seemed to be picking up steam, so I was more than eager to have a weekend alone with Bella. Not to mention the fact that it had been exactly twenty-eight days since I had seen her naked. 672 hours since I had gotten more than a kiss. It was like Aiden knew just when to cry or scream to keep things from going too far.
Bella had texted me earlier, telling me she took Aiden over to Rosalie and Emmett's early because she couldn't work with him in her office anymore. We typically had dinner together on Friday's before the kids got divided up amongst the two couples. As they got older they liked to sometimes all stay together, and sometimes bicker until one of us told them were to go.
I was the last one to get to Emmett's for dinner thanks to a talkative meeting with people in the finance department. Aiden ran to me when I walked in. I lifted him easily, listening to him mumble something unintelligible and carried him to the living room.
Bella sat on the couch, next to Alice, with a wine glass in her hand. She looked understandably frustrated and seemed to be venting to Alice about something, most likely the guy in my arms.
I left Aiden with Alec and Rosalie, grabbing Bella's hand and pulling her with me. We ended up in a guest bathroom down the hall, away from prying ears. As soon as the door closed I had Bella sitting on the counter, my lips attached to her exposed collarbone.
"What…" her words faded into a moan as I pulled her against me.
"We just have to get through dinner," I mumbled against her warm skin. "And then you're mine."
Bella gripped my hair in a strong hold and pulled my lips to hers, the kiss surprisingly frantic. "Did you know it's been twenty-eight days since the last time we –"
I didn't let her finish, knowing all too well that it had been twenty-eight days. The fact that she had the same countdown in her head as I did made me squeeze her tighter to me.
As we sat down for dinner I kept a hand on Bella's thigh, enjoying the fact that she was wearing a sundress in the mid-July heat. Usually whenever I tried to slide my hand past a certain point on her thigh at a dinner like this, I got stopped. Tonight, however, I got all the way to the line of what felt like lace before she gently, reluctantly, pushed my hand away.
After saying goodbye to Aiden, who thankfully was in a good mood, we left before the good mood vanished. It was only a few minutes' drive to get home, and I got passed the 'do not cross' line on her thigh again.
As soon as we were inside, I had her back against the front door and her lips on mine. My suit jacket was discarded quickly, but I was already losing my patience. I dropped to my knees, dipping my head under Bella's dress and shoving the black lace covering her pussy aside.
I groaned as her taste hit my tongue, lifting one of her legs over my shoulder and steadying her with a hand on her ass. My eyes met hers as she lifted her dress, looking down at me with hooded eyes. Her other hand pulled roughly at my hair.
The sounds coming out of both of us were animalistic, primal. I hadn't had the taste of her on my tongue in weeks, hadn't gotten to feel so much of her under my fingertips in too long. I flicked her clit with my tongue and felt her body start to shake above me, heard the long groans that I knew meant she was right on the edge.
I pulled away before she could fall over it, knowing she was just as wound up as I was now, just as desperate. Letting her leg fall to the floor, I stood back up. Bella's hands went right for my belt while I pulled my button down out of the way, not caring about the sound of buttons falling.
The straps of her sundress were flimsy and easily fell off of her shoulders, the entire dress silently falling to the ground. I pushed the lace down her legs just as she pushed the slacks and boxers down mine. I wasted no time in lifting her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and finally plunging inside her.
Bella's back pressed against the door as we moved together, her hips trying to match my frenzied pace. I couldn't get close enough, could never have enough of her touching enough of me.
Her bra was, unfortunately, still in the way. I pulled the cup down roughly and kissed my way down to her rosy nipple, reveling at the moan I got in response.
We were both too worked up for this to last long. As soon as I felt Bella's muscles clench around me, my own release shot through every one of my nerves. I was nowhere near sated, having weeks of desire for her pent up.
Nothing had to be said as I carried Bella upstairs, her head resting softly on my shoulder. I fell back onto the bed; my beautiful wife lying right on top of me and curling herself around me.
"I missed you," she sighed into my neck.
We had been around each other, slept in the same bed and ate at the same dinner table, talking about our days. Our marriage was as stable as ever, but things always started to feel off when we went too long without the more intimate parts of our relationship. I didn't just want to talk about her day as we ate dinner, I wanted her to tell me everything.
With Aiden in the mix, our priorities shifted and us and our relationship started coming in second to someone who needed constant care and attention. We had made a deal from the start to never go too long without going out on our own, or having a night to ourselves. It was hard to keep that promise all the time, though. That was when nights like tonight popped up, nights where we were both distracted and frustrated with everything because it had been nearly a month since we had a moment to ourselves.
"I missed you, too," I whispered to her, kissing the soft spot behind her ear.
Even though everything was ten times harder when you added a child into the mix, our lives were good. Great. Aiden gave us both something we never realized we were missing. He completed our family and no matter how many temper tantrums he threw he was still our favorite thing in the world.
Gently, I rolled us over and pinned Bella to the bed beneath me and began worshiping her body the way it deserved. I may love the little guy, but I was sure as hell going to take advantage of him being gone for the next day and a half.
…Dark…
"It's a great school, Bella. Emmett, Alice, and I went here."
Bella and I were touring the elementary school we were planning on sending Aiden to in the fall. The one I thought we had already decided on, but apparently Bella wasn't sold. It was a great place, top of the line, safe, and somewhere most people in the city wish they could send their kids to.
"It's just so… formal for an elementary school," Bella said, eying the hall as we walked through. "Shouldn't it be more colorful? More drawings on the walls or something like that?"
It was a very formal place, but it wasn't like they were torturing the kids. They were here to learn. "He'll be very happy here. You know how advanced he is for his age; public school would be boring for him."
Aiden was six and already too smart for his own good. He loved reading, loved it even more when he started to be able to do it on his own and didn't need Bella or I to read to him. Bella worked with him on some things at home as he grew up, reading and writing and things like that. But Aiden was smarter than any average six-year-old, and had this need to know everything.
If we walked through a zoo he had to know everything possible about every animal he saw. We would have to stop at each exhibit and get a lesson about the animal. We took him with us to New York for a business trip a few months ago and he was fascinated with the history of every building we were in, asking everyone he saw what they knew about it. He was smart and curious and I wasn't going to let that get lost on him because a public school didn't know what to do with it.
"I went to elementary school with about twelve other kids in my class, Edward. It was basically a shack compared to this place. I think it's too much pressure, sending him to a place like this. We should wait another –"
I pulled Bella into an empty classroom, ditching the woman guiding us around the building. Cupping her cheeks between my hands, I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "He'll be fine. Ever since we told him about starting here, he's talked about nothing else."
Bella sighed. "He's only six," she mumbled, making it obvious what she was actually worried about. She didn't want to lose her buddy.
It had been Bella's choice to step back from acting and focus more on the production company while Aiden was young. On countless occasions I had told her that we would work around her schedule, make it so Aiden and I could visit her as often as possible if she was filming, but she was adamant that she didn't want to miss anything about his childhood. She also didn't want the spotlight on her, and subsequently Aiden.
They worked well together. Aiden often came to the office with Bella and I, though we usually kept him on Bella's floor. Too many unsavory people visited my office at unknown times. Aiden was content to sit and play and entertain himself a lot of the time. But, at least once a day when I went to visit them I found Bella sitting on the floor with him.
"Just because he's going to school doesn't mean you're losing him."
"I know… I'm worried about what people are going to say to him, what they'll tell him about us. How can we trust the teachers or parents, or even the kids?"
It was a constant worry for both of us, but I had quickly realized it was something completely out of my control. Aiden wasn't really aware of the fact that his mother was in movies and his father was a criminal. Bella and I wanted to give him the most normal childhood that we could, so we never talked much about those things.
He went to work with us, and as far as he knew we both just worked in the office. I always made sure he never saw me coming home late or leaving the house in the middle of the night. We made sure he never saw any of Bella's films, though he did love the shiny statues in her office at home. For now, he was too young to know any of that.
Our career's likely wouldn't come up in an elementary school, but Bella's incarceration might. Kids these days had too much access to the internet and information that was over their heads.
"You can't worry about things that are completely out of your control," I told her.
"You're underestimating my ability to worry about everything, at all times."
With a laugh, I wrapped my arm around her waist and led her out of the room. "Come on, my little worrier. We have ten thousand in tuition to pay."
Bella froze, staring at me with wide eyes. "Ten thousand? For elementary school? Are you kidding?"
I frowned. "It's a very good school," I repeated. I supposed it was a lot for elementary school, considering it was about what some paid for college, but it wasn't like we couldn't afford it.
"It better fucking be if it costs ten thousand dollars," Bella grumbled.
On the drive back home, Bella kept mumbling to herself about private school. I held her hand, giving it a squeeze every time she got herself more frustrated. She wasn't actually mad about spending the money. I knew it was just the stark contrast between her upbringing and how she was raising Aiden.
Alice had picked up Delilah and Aiden from pre-school, so we stopped off at her place to pick him up. I frowned at the unfamiliar black BMW in the driveway as we walked past it. Then, an all too familiar voice floated through the house as we entered.
"You really shouldn't be here," Alice said, sounding torn.
"It's been a long time, Alice. I'd like to try and reconcile with my children and grandchildren," Esme's soft voice floated through the foyer.
"Your hair is lighter, like my dad's. My mom says that my hair is a perfect mixture of hers and his. I saw this book at the library a few weeks ago about genex – ge-nex-ticks that explains that kind of thing, but mom told me I wasn't old enough to read it."
Fuck. Before I could grab her Bella was in the living room. I followed close behind. Esme was sitting on the couch, Alice standing across from her. Delilah was playing in the center of the room, and Aiden was in a chair two times his size across from Esme.
"Come on, Aiden. Time to go," Bella said, narrowly hiding the panic in her voice.
Aiden, completely oblivious to the tension in the room, ran over happily. He grabbed Bella's hand and started swinging their arms.
"Edward, Bella," Esme said, standing and nodding in our direction.
Over the years I had kept tabs on her, simply to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. She never went to the press, never seemed to acknowledge her family ever again. She had made a life for herself in New York, and that was fine. We didn't need her.
"Look, Mom! We have matching hair!"
Bella smiled down at him, kneeling to his level and scuffing up his hair. "I know, buddy. Why don't you and Delilah go play outside with Uncle Ben?"
Delilah skipped over, and Ben took both of them outside. He put on a good front, but everyone knew he loved playing with the kids just as much as they loved him. They just didn't understand the reason he was around all of the time was to protect them, not to play.
As soon as the door shut behind them, the tension started to boil over. "What are you doing here?" I grunted out. I had no fucking clue she was in town, no idea why she would bother coming back.
"It's been years, Edward. I wanted to –"
"Why should I care about what you want?" It was infuriating. Once she was gone I started realizing how little she ever did for us. She let us get caught up in Carlisle's games, didn't care when I started using drugs on a nearly daily basis. She was never a mother to us.
"I've changed, Edward. I just needed time away from all of this to become myself again. I'd like to be part of my children's lives again, part of my grandchildren's lives." Bella was already shaking her head before Esme finished her sentence.
"No," I said definitively. "You and Carlisle didn't take having a family seriously, but all of us do. I can't speak for Alice and Emmett, but you're not getting anywhere near my son."
"I –" Alice stuttered, looking conflicted. I could tell what she wanted to say, but she also still longed for her own mother's approval. "I don't want you here, either."
"Go get in the car with the kids," I whispered to Bella. Thankfully, for perhaps the only time in our relationship, she did what I asked immediately.
"If you want anyone to ever consider forgiving you, you need to prove that you're serious and that you care. Showing up like this, forcing us to talk to you isn't going to do that. After all of the shit you pulled on us, after the way you treated my wife," I shook my head, remembering every backhanded insult she tossed at Bella. "You have to do a hell of a lot more than visit for a weekend before any of us trust you. Now, get the fuck out."
Alice and I were silent as Esme left, only relaxing once the door closed. "I'm surprised you didn't want to talk to her."
She shrugged. "I just don't get it. All of us have changed as we became parents. I don't understand why she couldn't."
It was understandable that Esme had a hard time living with Carlisle. That could be part of the reason she turned out the way she had. She wasn't trapped, though. She could have left him, tried to make it on her own. Esme liked the luxurious lifestyle and couldn't do that by herself. She chose luxury over family.
I sighed with no answer for Alice, and led her outside to get Delilah from Bella.
On our drive home, Aiden talked about his day; from coloring to snack time. It was still the early afternoon, but Aiden took a nap when we got home. He was having a sleepover with Alec tonight and didn't want to be too tired for it. He was the most logical six-year-old I had ever met, not that the list was that long. He definitely inherited Bella's preparedness.
With Aiden asleep, I wandered down to the kitchen where Bella was supposed to be cooking. It sounded more like she was just tossing pans around. I stood in the doorway for a minute, watching her and listening to her mumble to herself.
"You're not appropriate enough to be a Cullen… You've used my family for the last time… fucking bi – Oh. Hi." Bella turned and saw me behind her, the amusing mumblings silenced.
"She won't be a problem. I'll take care of it."
"I know you will it just… it makes me a hypocrite," Bella sighed, leaning over the island in the center of the kitchen. I copied her stance opposite of her.
"How?"
"Because I forgave Elena. Esme was a horrible mother, but she didn't dump you as a newborn."
"You're not obligated to forgive everyone. You forgave Elena because you moved on. Her abandoning you as a baby isn't the same as Esme emotionally fucking with all of us. If we don't want to let her back in, we don't have to."
Personally, I didn't care. She was my mother, and I knew I should care, but I didn't. Family and trust were the two most important things to me, and I had all I needed now. The family business ran as smoothly as ever since Carlisle was taken care of, and I had my siblings and Bella and Aiden. If I could get by just fine the last six years without Esme, I knew I didn't need her or her approval to be happy.
"If, someday, if she proves herself to be trustworthy and proves she wants to be part of the family for the right reasons, we'll let her build a relationship with Aiden. Until then, we don't need to worry about it."
Bella sighed, dropping her head to the counter in frustration.
"What is it?"
"You're always so… logical and level headed. Don't you ever just want to throw something at someone, or scream and be irrational for once?"
I couldn't stop the loud laugh from coming out. "Trust me, I have a few very good ways at getting my… frustrations out on people." I did plenty of shouting at people on a daily basis. I just never let Bella see any of it.
Bella smirked at me from across the counter, coming over to my side. She hopped up on the space next to me, situating herself on the counter right in front of me. "What do you do when I frustrate you?"
I sighed and pulled her legs around me, attaching my lips to her exposed collarbone. "I would take all of my frustrations out on you in the best way possible."
Bella and I were never one of those couples that fought constantly. We had our moments, of course. You didn't spend as much time with someone as we did and never get into an argument, but they were typically quick little spats. Usually followed by a good fuck to get out any residual anger.
Before things could go too far, the sound of tiny feet padding down the hallway broke us apart. "Tonight," I whispered, giving her neck a quick nip before backing away.
"Mom, no sitting on the counter!" Aiden said, skidding to a stop in the middle of the kitchen.
I easily picked him up, situating him on my shoulders, one of his favorite spots. "Yeah, Mom, don't be so frustrating." Bella playfully glared at the both of us as she hopped off the counter. When she looked at me I sent her a wink. Her scowl softened and her cheeks turned a satisfying shade of pink.
…Dark…
"Have you been teaching him to fight?" Bella asked me as we walked through the halls of Aiden's elementary school.
"He's eight, Bella. I haven't been teaching him to fight," I told her, though I could hardly be upset at the accusation considering the track record I had.
We had gotten a call that Aiden had gotten in a fight with another student this afternoon. The principal wouldn't tell us who it was with or what it was over, just that we needed to come down for a meeting.
We were ushered into the principal's office where Aiden sat glaring at another boy and his parents. I recognized them immediately. Before Aiden started here I got background checks on every teacher and every student's parents. Alexander Wilson and his wife Valerie were fairly boring people. He had a small, family law firm and mostly survived off of the money his grandfather left him. Valerie prided herself on being a socialite, though they didn't run in the same social circles as us.
"What happened?" Bella asked as we took the two empty chairs next to Aiden.
"It seems Aiden and Simon got into a small fist fight," the principal, Clay Lawson, told us.
"It wasn't small, he punched me in the face!" I glared over at the child situated between Alexander and Valerie.
"You called my mom a murderer!" Aiden shouted.
Fucking hell. What kind of eight-year-old goes around calling people murderers? Bella stiffened next to me, her hand squeezing mine.
"Aiden, Simon, why don't you two go wait in the office?" Lawson said, and the boys immediately walked out.
"Is there something you'd like to say to my face?" Bella asked, looking over at the couple. Both ignored her. Cowards.
"What kind of punishment will their son face for attacking Simon?" Valerie asked.
"Neither boy is going to be punished here. It was a first offence from children who are usually perfect students, and it's a… sensitive topic. I'd like you all to talk to them about the situation at home. I already talked with them and they understand if anything like this happens again they'll face serious consequences."
I barely refrained from smirking. Cullen's had been going to this school for decades. We made generous donations every year, far more than these two could ever contribute. We didn't cause disruptions, usually, and the staff was very accommodating to us. They would easily choose making us happy over anyone else, no matter what.
"That boy attacked my son and you're not going to do anything?"
"Your son provoked him based on shit you talk about at home," I grunted out, trying my best to keep my temper in check.
"Yes, you Cullen's are… easily triggered, aren't you?" Alexander asked, sneering in Bella's direction. Not acceptable.
"About as easily triggered as your wife will be when she finds out you're having an affair with not just one, but two other women," I said, not caring about the consequences. "We'll talk to Aiden. It won't happen again." Grabbing Bella's arm, I led us out just as the satisfying sound of a slap echoed throughout the room. Finally free of wandering eyes, I smiled to myself.
We were all silent as we drove home. Aiden looked like he wanted a hole to swallow him up, and Bella stared distractedly out the window. It wasn't that big of an issue to me, the punching. It was a sign that he was starting to inherit what it took to lead the family. That, however, was an issue for me. It was a topic Bella and I had actively avoided for years.
Aiden tried to scurry off to his room when we got home.
"Not so fast, big guy," I said, leading him to the living room and plopping him on the couch. Bella sat on the coffee table across from him, and I stood beside her.
"You know you can't go around punching people, Aiden," Bella said softly.
"He said you deserved to be in jail, that you were a murderer. He just kept going and I didn't like him lying about you like that."
Bella sighed, and I could practically feel her confusion take over the room. Obviously, with Aiden getting older it was something we were going to have to talk to him about. That, and Bella's celebrity status were things we put off as long as possible, wanting Aiden to have a normal, stress-free childhood. It seemed we ran out of time on at least one of our issues.
"Here's the thing, buddy," I said, sitting down on the couch next to him. I pulled Aiden onto my lap, and Bella onto the couch next to me. "A long time ago, your mom was home alone and someone broke in the house." Aiden gasped, his eyes widening in a way that would have been comical in any other situation. "She defended herself, and the man ended up dead. She's not a murderer, not like that boy said. She just protected herself, so she could be here with you and me."
Aiden sat still, his eyes frowning at the ground. Bella looked like she was a second from crying herself, so I gave her hand a firm squeeze. Then, out of nowhere, Aiden launched himself at Bella, arms around her neck.
"Don't worry, Mom. Me and Dad will take care of you. Right, Dad?"
"That's right," I said, ruffling his hair.
Bella pressed a kiss to his hair. "We don't want any more calls home from school, though, okay? No more fighting."
"Okay," he sighed.
Bella's phone rang, and she looked guiltily at it sitting on the table.
"It's okay," I told her with a smile, leading Aiden upstairs as she talked. I knew she was in the middle of acquiring the rights to something she desperately wanted, and I had something else to talk to Aiden about anyway.
Aiden hopped in the chair opposite of my desk, one of his favorite spots. He always said he thought it made him seem like "one of the grown-ups" when he talked to me in here.
I knelt in front of him, taking his tiny hands in mine. "You don't need tell your mom I told you this," I started. "But I'm proud of you for what you did today."
"But…"
"You stood up for your mom without a second thought. That's what our family does, protects each other. But, if someone says something like that to you again, tell me first, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," he mumbled, still looking sad.
"Why don't you go get your ball and mitt and we'll go out back and work on your swing?" Aiden didn't even answer, just jumped out of his seat and ran to his room.
It was late that night, long after Aiden was asleep, that I finally retreated to the bedroom. Bella had gone to bed hours ago, and I was surprised to see her still sitting up in bed. Her eyes followed me as I got in next to her.
"How did your parents tell you about your family?" she asked me.
"Carlisle and Esme never tried to keep it a secret," I told her, not welcoming the thoughts of my childhood in my mind. It was bad enough when Esme came to visit, though they were rare. She tried to rebuild her relationship with us years ago, but it was never enough. And, in all honesty, she never tried too hard. The kids got letters from time to time, and the occasional visit a few times a year. Aiden knew she was his grandmother, but never called her as such. She was just like the Esme I knew growing up. Wanting the recognition of being a great mother, or grandmother, but not wanting to put in the work.
"I was seven when I saw Carlisle come home with bloodstained clothing. He sat me down and told me exactly what he did that night – kill a man and his wife for not repaying their debt on time. From then on, I was more of an employee to Carlisle than a son."
Carlisle and Esme never tried to make it so I had a normal childhood, never tried to hide the conversations from me or my siblings. Though Carlisle wasn't the mentor I needed, the Cullen blood that ran through my veins told me what I needed to know; protect the family. I never went about it the same way as Carlisle, I had my own agendas and ways of working that seemed to be doing just fine.
When Bella spoke, her voice shook. Almost as if she were scared. "What if Aiden doesn't want to do that?"
"He already does, Bella." I saw it in his eyes, when I talked to him in my office. He had that desire, the need to protect the family. He also had the fire inside of him to get it done.
"He's eight, Edward."
"It's in him, that desire to protect at all costs. I had the same feeling."
"So, you're telling me that when you saw Carlisle covered in blood, when he told you he had just killed a man and his wife, you wanted to be just like him?"
"Aiden's situation and my situation are not the same and you know it," I snapped. Just the thought of Carlisle still infuriated me, even after all these years. Turning off the light, I laid back in bed, though I was too frustrated to sleep now.
I wouldn't force Aiden into anything, but I knew I wouldn't have to. Especially after today. Hell, Emmett had already told Alec everything and he was thirteen. He hadn't done anything, but he was itching to be part of the business.
There was this need in me to protect Aiden in the best way I could, and the only way I knew how was to teach him everything I knew. All of the ways I had protected myself and Bella all of these years.
"Please, don't be mad at me," Bella whispered, wrapping an arm around me and lying her head on my chest.
"It's in you, too, you know. That need to protect, to be the best." Whether it was something she learned on her own, or something in her blood just like mine, I didn't want to think about. Scenarios of Bella as a Volturi would only worsen my mood.
"You felt it then, I know you did. You still do, that's why you always have one foot in the door with this stuff."
Bella had never had to do anything big for us again, I made sure of it. But, she never shied away from the family business. She had no qualms about running a production company that was laundering dirty money. Though I never asked her to do anything else for us, she did like to be informed if anything big happened, and I didn't mind telling her. Nothing ever scared her off, and she knew how to handle herself if anyone ever asked her questions.
Bella sighed against me and we were both quiet for a while, sleep impossible for both of us.
"You'll teach him, right? So, he's as good as you?" Bella asked out of the blue.
"Of course." I wouldn't do what Carlisle did to me; abandon me without the proper training to run the family.
"And if Aiden decides he doesn't want to…"
"I won't force him into anything."
I wouldn't have to. Aiden was a perfect mixture of Bella and I; smart, strong, and passionate about what he wanted.
…Dark…
The bed was cold when I woke up in the middle of the night. I waited for a few minutes, thinking Bella had gone to check on Aiden or get something to drink, but she never came back. After checking Aiden's room, my office, and the kitchen I found her in her own office, staring at the wall that housed her awards.
I watched her for a minute, and it wasn't hard to realize what she was thinking about. She hadn't worked on anything other than the production company in the ten years since we'd had Aiden. It was only a few months ago that he started to understand what Bella used to do.
We had decided it was better to tell Aiden about Bella's career as opposed to letting another kid talk to him about it in school. We sat him down one night and simply told him she was an actress and that was it. He was completely fine, even when we said he wasn't old enough to watch any of her films.
That was the thing about Aiden. He didn't have a rebellious bone in his body. He was always quick to do the right thing, always following whatever rules Bella or I gave him. There were times when he was a typical ten-year-old and fussed about not getting his way, but it wasn't nearly as often as we heard about Delilah having fits.
We told Aiden he could start watching some of Bella's films when he was thirteen, and he accepted it and went back to his homework like nothing was different.
"I'm bored," Bella said, looking over in my direction. I guessed I hadn't been as stealthy as I thought. "I'm tired of the production company, tired of finding films I like and giving them to other people."
I went and stood beside her as she leaned against her desk. "Call Heidi."
"I can't do that to Aiden. The more attention is on me, the more attention is on him. He likes his school, he has good friends… I don't want people to start to make fun of him or –"
"Don't think about it like that. If his friends are truly good for him, they won't care and their parents won't care either. If this is what you want to do, you should do it," I told her, grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.
She had put her career on hold for years to raise Aiden. Yes, she had the production company but that was never her dream career. Not once did she say anything as the years went on about wanting to go back, but I was sure the desire was there. She had done what most mothers did; put their lives on hold for their children.
Neither of us had good examples of parents doing that, but Bella didn't hesitate for a second. She wanted to be there for Aiden, and I knew she cherished her time with him.
"Aiden will probably get a kick out of it, visiting you on a movie set. You've gotten him hooked on films, you know."
Usually, about once a week Bella and Aiden had a movie night. Sometimes Aiden picked the movie, and sometimes Bella chose an old favorite or a new release she thought he would like. He was probably the only ten-year-old that wasn't hooked on Disney Channel.
"You really think I can do it? Film and not completely abandon him or you?"
"I think, out of all of the shit we've had to do, it'll probably be one of the easiest. I can adjust my schedule as needed."
"You don't think it makes me a bad mother, wanting to do this?"
"Bella… you're an incredible mother. Have been since day one. He's old enough now to understand why you might be gone for a while if this is what you want to do."
Bella and I each had a different kind of bond with Aiden. Bella got him to explore his creativity, find new outlets to learn through. She taught him how to play the piano a little bit and taught him the song she wrote for him as a baby on the guitar. He still asked her to sing it to him on nights he couldn't fall asleep.
Somedays I would come home to music blasting and both of them dancing around the living room, and sometimes it was a kitchen creation that went wrong. Bella never let him think anything was out of his reach.
With me, Aiden explored his manly interests. He loved baseball and was on a little league team. He went on short runs with me through the neighborhood, and loved testing out the small weights we had in our home gym.
Aiden also loved going through the books I had in my office. Some were medical books, though he didn't know I used them to find out various ways to kill people, and some were old classics. As his reading improved he loved picking out new ones and coming to me with questions or opinions.
After our late-night conversation, Bella seemed very contemplative for a few days. She was quiet, and I gave her the space I knew she needed. After a week, as I was driving home, I decided I would talk to her about it again.
It wasn't fair for her to keep her focus on the production company if her heart wasn't in it anymore. She put her career on hold without a second thought for Aiden, and he was old enough for her to get back to what she truly wanted to be doing.
When I walked through the door, I was determined to talk to Bella when Aiden came barreling down the stairs toward me.
"Hey, buddy. Where's your mom?" I asked, ruffling his hair.
"She told me to give you this!"
I grabbed the envelope from his hand and carefully opened it.
It's my turn to surprise you. Meet me on the airstrip in an hour.
"She said you guys were going to be gone for a while, but I get to have an extra-long sleepover with Alec. Mom told me to be on my best behavior," Aiden said with a firm nod, like he was reminding himself again.
Kneeling down to his height, I placed a hand on his shoulder. "You'll be good for Rose and Emmett?" He nodded. "Did your mom tell you what her plan was?" Again, he nodded.
"I'm not supposed to tell you," he told me, with a secretive smile.
Damn. "Are you all ready to go?"
Just as I asked, Rose walked down the stairs with a suitcase. "Me and Mom packed this morning!"
"Bella wanted you to be able to say goodbye before I took him," she said, dragging the suitcase behind her. Rose and Emmett had never been able to have another kid, so Rose took any opportunity to take care of Delilah and Aiden. Plus, Alec loved playing the role of the older sibling.
After putting the case in Rose's car I looked down at Aiden, practically shaking with excitement about his time with his cousin. This was a good test, seeing how he was on his own for a while. Bella and I had never both left him with someone else for longer than a night.
Aiden waved excitedly out the car window as he drove off, and I went back inside and got ready for my mystery vacation.
A/N: This one was incredibly hard to write for some reason. I think subconsciously I'm avoiding writing because I don't want this to end. As always, a big thank you to everyone reading and reviewing. You motivate me when I'm staring at a blank word document for twenty minutes, completely lost.
