A/N: Did I forget to mention this chapter is in a special POV? :) Anyway, that means some of this is kind of repetitive, parts from the last few chapters in Aiden's POV, so I hope you all don't mind that! Enjoy!

I know it hurts, it's hard to breathe sometimes. These nights are long, you've lost the will to fight. Is anybody out there? Can you lead me to the light? Is anybody out there? Tell me it'll all be alright. You are not alone, I've been here the whole time singing you a song. ~ Ruelle, Carry You

APOV

My family had never been normal, that was something I always knew. Even before Mom went back to acting when I was twelve, I knew she was more than the head of the production company she worked at with Dad. I grew up playing with shiny gold statues in the shape of megaphones and used the heavy golden men statues as action figures. Ten minutes in front of the television on the wrong channel told me what those really meant.

My family might not have been normal, but it was all normal to me. There was nothing unusual to me about flipping through channels and stumbling on one of those Tainted films Mom was in, or seeing trailers for her more recent projects either. I actually thought it was pretty cool, especially watching ones where I got to visit her on set. It was awesome, seeing something filmed and then a year later watching it all put together.

I was also one of the only kids at school that had a couple of guys follow me everywhere, but Dad said that was just for my protection. He never elaborated, but I assumed it was because of Mom's status.

I never spent much time on the internet, but I knew she was still a celebrity that people cared about. Had been for practically her entire life. Girls at school constantly talked about other celebrities, so I assumed it was something like that. Just a precaution.

But, now, I had to question everything I ever knew.

"You're all… in the mob?" I asked, looking at everyone surrounding me. Uncle Emmett, I guessed, looked intimidating enough to do something like that. He was bulky and, even though he seemed like a giant teddy bear to me, I guess that strength could be used for other not so gentle things.

But, Uncle Jasper? He used to show me these old trinkets he inherited from his adoptive parents, things from the civil war. We would talk for hours about history. He helped me write nearly every paper I had to for every history class I had ever taken. That didn't scream mob to me.

Then, I looked at Dad and could practically feel my blood run cold. He was my dad. He wasn't some cruel hitman. He was the one who dropped me off at school when mom was out of town. We talked about sports and bugged mom to make us snickerdoodles every weekend. He came home early on Friday's to throw a ball around the backyard or help me with my swing.

"We are the mob," Emmett said, throwing a sinister smirk my way. It made me nauseous.

"Holy shit." My entire body was jittery, so I got up and started pacing in front of the fire. I thought this was going to be a fun camping trip. Eating junk food, fishing, not showering for days. Shit mom never let me get away with.

Were there signs that I ignored? Yeah, I heard people talk about my family. I saw people tense when Dad walked in a room. But, ever since I started school, Mom and Dad engrained in me that I shouldn't listen to what other kids said about us. Ever since I punched out that nosy fucker Simon Wilson most kids stopped talking about my parents. At least when I was around.

"I mean… I always knew our family was different. I hear people talk, you know? People are intimidated by you guys, everyone stops talking as soon as any of you guys enter the room. You were always so strict on me not looking into anyone online. It was like, the only serious rule you guys had for me. Which I guess makes sense now because what would I find?"

Damn, what would turn up if I googled them? "How did you guys keep it a secret for so long? How are you not locked up if me googling you would turn something up? Shit, how does mom not even know?"

Mom. Damn, she's going to be furious when she finds out. Did Dad expect me to keep it a secret from her? The woman knew instantly whenever I tried to lie to her. She always said it was the acting thing, that she could tell when someone was trying to act or when they were honest. Personally, I thought it was a mom thing. They just… always knew.

"Oh, my God. She's going to be furious. Remember that time she was out of town and I didn't tell her about my rescheduled game and she missed it? She was so upset… and you've been lying to her for your entire relationship? That's… fucked up Dad."

There was no way I could keep something like this from her, even if I wanted to. Fuck, this had to be a joke. Some cruel joke Emmett wanted to play.

"Your mother knows, Aiden," Dad said softly.

I froze, staring at him. He was sitting on a folding chair, staring at me, telling me my mother knew he was… no. "Mom knows you're 'in the mob.' Mom. My mother who bakes us snickerdoodles every weekend and cries whenever a dog dies in a movie? She knows what you do?"

Dad shook his head. "This isn't about your mother. It's about –"

"No, it is about her, because she married you and you both had me. You've both been lying to me my entire life."

It was like my entire life was flashing before my eyes, trying to catch every time they lied to my face. It made me dizzy.

"It wasn't your mother's secret to tell, Aiden."

Bullshit. "No, but she's… You've always said it was our job to protect her. I remember, that day in your office you said you were proud of me for sticking up for her. I've always thought of her as… fragile, I guess. Sweet, caring… innocent. She's not, though. Not if she knowingly married you."

"Watch yourself, Aiden," Dad warned, his voice deep and intimidating. I used to think of it as his 'Dad voice,' the one that meant I was in trouble for not cleaning my room or leaving dirty dishes around the house. Now, I had to wonder if that was his 'work voice,' the one he used when he had to… take care of someone. Fuck, I couldn't even think the word.

"Yeah, or what?" I asked, surprising myself. But I didn't care. I didn't want to talk about this, think about it anymore. "This is so fucked!"

I couldn't look at everyone anymore. They all looked different. Intimidating, scary, unknown. All I knew was I needed to get away from them. Wandering through the trees of the forest we were near, I kept close to the edge so I didn't get lost, but was hidden enough I knew they wouldn't be able to see me.

I walked, kicking every rock and twig in my way. My mind was overloaded, trying think about twenty different things at once. No matter how long I had to myself, I still had more questions than answers. What did it mean, that they were in the mob? What did they do? How much did Mom know?

Why the fuck didn't they tell me?

Dark…

I didn't talk to anyone for a while. I couldn't look them in the eyes. There were still a million different questions in my mind, it seemed like every day I had a new set of them, but I never asked. I was pretty sure I didn't want to know the answers.

The other day Dad tried to talk to me again. He was trying to earn some trust back, I think, telling me stories. Telling me the truth. How was it that after being their child for fifteen years I had no clue my mother had been in jail for over a year?

There were so many things I didn't know about them. So many secrets they purposefully kept for so long. Every day I got more and more upset, realizing how many times they could have told me the truth.

I was mad at Dad for what he did, disgusted at all of the images that flooded my mind every time I looked at him. I was disappointed in my Mom for getting herself caught up in all of this. All I wanted was for it to all be a nightmare and to wake up, at home, back to my normal life. No matter how hard I tried, I knew my life would never be normal again.

I stayed in my tent as long as possible, like I had been doing every morning since we got here. I was especially dreading today because I knew my mother was out there. Never would I admit it to anyone else, but a hug from her, even after everything I knew now, sounded really damn good.

Pulling on my hoodie, I ventured out and everyone froze. Emmett and Jasper sitting by the fire, and Mom and Dad, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Hey, Ma," I whispered, not used to talking at all these days.

"Hey," she told me with a smile. It wasn't as comforting as I thought it would be. "Want to go for a walk?"

I shrugged, and she grabbed her bag from Ben. The security guard she needed because she was the wife of a criminal. I internally shuddered. It seemed like every time I had a second of not thinking about it, something new and worse popped in my mind.

We walked for a bit, following the same tree line I usually did, until she sat on an old tree stump. I sat beside her, stuffing my hands in the pocket of my hoodie, staring out at the scene in front of us. It was cloudy and cold, but the grass was bright green. There were some hills in the distance, a small lake not too far away.

"Dad said you've known for a long time. How did he tell you?" I asked, even though I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. It was stupid, but I thought if I didn't know any details that maybe it would be easier to ignore.

"Someone had sent him pictures of me, like they were following me. Your father thought I was in danger and told me so I would take the threat seriously."

Shit. "Were you? In danger?"

"I was shot twice a few weeks later."

My eyes widened and I looked at her, in the eyes for the first time today. "You were… what? Mom –"

"You've never seen this scar on my shoulder?" she asked, pulling her sweater over slightly. It was faded, but there. I had seen it before, but I didn't know what it was from.

"There's a lot we haven't told you. And I'm so sorry about that, but we wanted you to have a normal childhood. We wanted you to be able to make friends and find interests outside of all of this. We –"

"Before you start this whole speech…" I interrupted. Seeing the scar, hearing her talk so plainly about nearly being assassinated because of Dad… I had to know one thing before she started. "You're not trapped, are you? Is Dad forcing you to –"

I didn't know how, but maybe we could run. If he was hurting her, maybe blackmailing her to do all of this, we could get out.

"You father has never forced me to do anything. He's never hurt me, I'm not being blackmailed or tricked into anything. I don't know what he's told you, but I think if you heard my side of things you might understand this family a little better."

I sighed. It was horrible, but I was wishing she wasn't doing all of this willingly.

"But, first, we need a snack," she said with a smile. Mom shuffled through her bag and pulled out a container of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter. I grabbed one, only because she looked so excited about them, and waited.

"We had only been together a few months, your dad and I. He was different from anyone I had ever met. He didn't care about my job, didn't care that people knew me wherever I went. He was one of the first people I ever met seemed to like me for me, not my status." Mom had an almost wistful look on her face as she talked, staring at the cookie in her hands.

It was obvious, watching my parents together, that they were completely in love. It was disgustingly obvious sometimes, but it was better than the horror stories I heard from kids' whose parents were divorced or unhappy. Dad brought Mom flowers once a week, surprised her with jewelry or weekend getaways all the time. Mom's face lit up whenever he got home, whether he had a present or not.

All of those memories were tainted now, though, because all I could do was wonder whether the presents were to keep her quiet about what she knew, or to thank her for her silence.

"When he told me what he did, what his real job was, I panicked. I was in a hotel room, in Denver maybe, I don't remember. He was worried and showed me the pictures and told me these people were after me because of him, not my job. I remember I got sick, I was throwing up and he tried to pat my back and it made it worse because I didn't know what else his hands had done that day."

Yes, I thought. Exactly.

"I know how hard it is to understand all of this. I spent weeks dazed and confused, going back and forth on what I should do, what I should feel."

"How did you get over it?" I blurted out. Maybe she had some secret weapon, something that would solve all of this.

"I don't know if get over it is the right phrase. It's more of something you come to terms with. You learn to accept."

"I have to accept that my father is a monster?"

Mom frowned, her body tensing. "He's not a monster. There are reasons for the things he does. He came to me that night and told me because I was in danger, and he was right. I was shot a few weeks after he told me."

Shit. How could she even consider staying with him after she was attacked because of him?

"How did you… come to terms with it, then?"

"I see him as the man who would do whatever it took to protect his family, a man who puts their needs above his own safety," she said with a sigh. "It's a whole different world that he lives in, Aiden. Full of people who would do anything to get ahead of him, who would use us to do that. Everything that your father does is to protect us, and I can't be mad at him for that."

Protecting the family. That phrase had been thrown around a lot lately. I wasn't buying it, though. If our family wasn't in the middle of all of the crime, we wouldn't need protecting.

Mom and I talked a lot over the next few days. It wasn't always about the shit storm that was our family, which was nice. Sometimes it was about how everyone was doing back at home. She told me some baseball stats that she had obviously memorized for me. I could tell she had no clue what she was even saying when she talked about it.

But there was also a lot of talk about the big issues. About Dad and what he does, mostly. I understood how Mom looked past it; she loved him no matter what. She loved him because he took care of her and loved her just as much. She was blinded by it, though.

"You went to jail," I said on her last day here. We were at our usual spot, sitting on a tree trunk, leaning against a few still-standing trees.

The change in her was almost instant. Her back went rigid, her eyes dark and dazed. I watched her hands, frowning at how she ran her fingers along her wrists. Like she was making sure there was nothing around them.

"Yes," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. I could tell she was intensely uncomfortable. Panicked. Even though I wanted to know, needed to hear her say she didn't plan the whole thing, I couldn't ask her. Not like this.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" I asked instead. Another question I wanted, needed, answered.

"Carlisle, your grandfather, he never kept it a secret from your father. He was strict and didn't see him as anything other than another employee by the time he was twelve. Neither of us wanted that for you. We wanted you to have a childhood. Make friends. Become your own person."

That was all great, except for the fact that it now felt like they were trying to force me to be something else entirely.

Dark…

I was more confused and angry than ever by the time we finally got back home. I knew more, but that didn't help anything. Just because I knew my father killed a man who had once attacked my mother, didn't mean I agreed with it. Because I knew there were rival crime families across the city that could want us dead, didn't mean I wanted to be the one responsible for keeping them in line.

Dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps though, I could tell. He constantly reminded me that I didn't have to, but I could see it in his eyes, the restraint he was using. He followed his father, and I was supposed to follow mine.

I spent a long time trying to push my feelings about the issue aside. It was easier when mom was gone, because she was better at reading people than Dad was. It was also more confusing, being home with just Dad, because I felt like he was constantly studying me. Sizing me up to see how I could fit within his businesses.

That was when I started spending more time out, usually with Jackson. He was the first friend I made after I skipped a grade. He was a year older, but didn't treat me like the baby of the class like most people did. He was more of an outsider, but I didn't mind. We both liked sports, we had similar tastes in music, and he constantly steered clear of the topic of my family. All great qualities for a friend of mine.

We had been back home a few months, back in school just as long. It felt like I hadn't slept more than a few hours a night ever since I watched my father inject Jacob Black with some concoction of drugs I didn't want to know about. I watched the news obsessively, paranoid that somehow, they would know what we did.

There was nothing. No mention of foul play. As far as everyone else knew, he had died of an overdose. It was completely fucked up.

It was late Saturday night and Jackson and I were in his basement, watching shitty tv and eating junk food.

"Nah, man, change the channel," I told him as the opening credits for Unknown started. With my luck, it would be an episode with my mother in it.

Jackson just shrugged, but before he could grab the remote, there was a knock on the sliding back door. I frowned when I looked over and saw a guy standing there. Probably a few years older than us, at least. He had messy blonde hair and was holding a helmet.

"Who is that?" I asked as Jackson jumped up to get the door.

Jackson let him in and I sat up in my chair, watching both of them. This guy, whoever he was, made me tense.

"This is Tony, a friend of a friend," Jackson said as they both came over. "This is Aiden."

"Ah, Cullen, eh?" he asked, holding a hand out to me. He was definitely older, no one under eighteen would shake hands like this.

"Yeah."

"I won't be long. You got it?" Tony asked, looking over at Jackson. He pulled out a wad of cash and handed it over, and Tony handed him something as well, but it was hidden in his hand.

Tony left quickly after that, but I didn't miss the odd wink he sent my way as he was walking out.

"What was that about?"

Jackson smirked at me and held up a tiny bag full of white powder. "Wanna try some?"

"Since when do you do… that?" We'd been friends for a few years, and I never got the impression that he was on drugs. This was either a new development or he was excellent at hiding it.

"Few months," he shrugged. "Shit with my parents isn't great. My brother has been more of an ass than usual, and school is kicking my ass. It's a nice escape for a while."

I could use an escape. A getaway from the images that constantly flooded my mind of what my parents did, of who they were. A moment without thinking about who I was supposed to become sounded like heaven.

I couldn't do it, though. Yeah, I was pissed at them but they would be furious if they found out. There were very few strict rules they ever set for me, and drugs was one of them. The other was not to read articles about them. Not to find out who they really were before they dropped that bomb on me themselves.

The television caught my attention then, Jacob Black's dark eyes looking at me from the flat screen. Just like they had while he was dying.

"I'm in."

Dark…

I started out slow, telling myself I wouldn't get hooked on anything. It was only going to be for a little while, while I got used to things, to this new life I was being forced into. All of that didn't seem so bad when I was using.

I wasn't hurting anyone. I didn't drive under the influence or do any stupid shit like that. There were more than a few lies I had to tell, especially to the idiot guards Dad had following me around. But we were a family of liars. It came naturally.

The only real collateral damage was baseball. Coach was strict and the school gave him a practically unlimited budget, so there was random drug testing done to make sure no one was using any performance enhancers. I wasn't sure about the different types of tests they ran, but I assumed a regular mixture of cocaine and ecstasy would probably show up on them.

Quitting wasn't hard. I didn't have the drive for it I used to now that I knew nothing could come of it. Diffusing the situation after Mom and Dad found out I quit wasn't too hard. What was hard was keeping of the façade when mom was around. Hard, but not impossible.

She would be back in a few days. For tonight, though, we had a family dinner. Dad picked me up from home and we drove to Rosalie and Emmett's.

Dad wandered off with Emmett and Jasper when we got there, and I found Alec talking with Jared in the basement.

It was where he used to live. He had graduated from Northwestern not too long ago and was living downtown. He was working at his dad's company. I was counting down the days until I didn't have to be stuck in a house with my parents constantly.

Alec and Jared were years apart in age, and I was even farther behind them, but they were the only ones I really talked to openly about all of this shit. They didn't have any hidden agendas; they weren't trying to convince me to be something I didn't want to be.

"You doing okay?" Alec asked as I sat on the small couch.

I shrugged, and he went to the small fridge in the corner and pulled out three beers. I stared at him, confused.

"You look like you could use one. We won't tell your dad."

With a sigh I grabbed it, eagerly taking a swig.

"Your parents are doing their best, you know," Jared said, eying me over his beer. He frowned when I scoffed. "I get it. I used to hate everyone in this family."

"You did?"

"Yeah. When Mags and I were first adopted, we'd heard of the Cullen's. I hated your parents especially, probably because they were in the news the most."

Wasn't surprising. I was starting to hate them too.

"But, no matter what I did, they never gave up. It didn't matter that I wasn't a blood relative, they kept me from seriously fucking my life up."

With a roll of my eyes, I took another sip of my beer. Everyone seemed to think my parents were fucking saints or something.

"Edward keeps the entire family from falling apart," Alec said. "And, if it weren't for Bella… most of them would either be dead or in prison."

"Yeah, she's great, murdering Volturi and all that."

"It's not just that. The trial and the bank – " Alec started, but Jared cut him off.

"Everything she's done has been to protect the family, and protect you. It's hard to understand until something happens and you're forced to understand."

I thought about what Alec said, or was going to say, all through dinner. What else had Mom done? More than commit a fucking murder for my father? My head was spinning with possibilities by the time we got home. I retreated to my room, as usual, and slumped in my desk chair. I had never searched for anything about my parents online, but Alec's words had me seriously considering it.

Flipping open my laptop, I pulled open the drawer to my left while it booted up, and quickly swallowed the few pills I had left of my latest stash from Tony. By the time my computer was up, I didn't care about what Mom had done anymore.

Dark…

I'm fucked.

I'm fucked.

I'm fucked.

That was all that I could think about as I paced Dad's office. Tony had fucked me over. I was supposed to be sleeping over at Jackson's, but I snuck out to meet him. It was our usual meeting spot, an abandoned storefront downtown. Someone must have seen us meet before, maybe saw Tony walk in before me, because a minute into our meeting a couple of cops showed up. Before I could say anything, Tony was gone.

Leaving me with a hand full of drugs.

The longer I sat here the angrier I got. I was sixteen. When my parents were sixteen they were both working and getting to practically live their own lives. Why couldn't I do what I wanted?

I also reallyneeded a hit. Of anything. I knew Dad was in charge of dealing this kind of shit throughout the city. Maybe he had a hidden stash somewhere in here. Before I could start searching the door opened and he walked in with Mom.

Dad sat behind his desk, acting like the man in charge that he thought he was. Mom sat down opposite of him, pretending to look worried and sad. Always acting.

"Who did you get it from?" Dad asked.

I ignored him.

"Who did you get it from?" he repeated, obviously coming close to losing his temper.

I rolled my eyes, leaning against one of the bookshelves in the corner. "Why does it matter?"

Why did he care about who I was getting my supply from? Probably didn't like the competition. Maybe he was only upset he wasn't profiting off of me.

"It matters because if you have an arraignment they're going to charge you with possession of an illegal substance. You think this is a fucking joke?"

I hadn't been worried about the arraignment. If Mom could get away with murder, Dad could pull some strings so I got away with a tiny possession charge. "What, you can snap your fingers and help mom get out of an even worse situation but you're gonna let them charge me with –"

His eyes bulged at me. "You think I snapped my fingers and she got away with it?" he shouted.

"I haven't joined your little gang like Mom did and –"

"Watch your mouth."

I wanted to laugh. They were both so blind. "God, do you not see how fucked up this entire thing is? Our entire lives?" I shouted. "Me enjoying some recreational drugs is hardly the biggest problem this family has.

"Let's see if I've got everything right. You've been working for the fuckin' mob since you were a teenager. Killing people, selling drugs, shit like that, right?"

"Aiden, stop," Mom whispered.

Glaring at her, I continued. "And Mom… Mom you brainwashed when she was younger and made her think you were this great guy. Got her to do some of your dirty work if what Alec says is true. Or, maybe she's always been that fucking insane. Crazy enough to actually think you were a good guy."

There had to be something wrong with her if she had willingly stayed in this family for so long. There had to be.

"Damnit, Aiden!" Dad shouted, really shouted. Angrier than I had ever seen him. He looked over at Mom, softening just barely. "Bella, leave."

"No, I… I'm okay," she said, her voice shaking and making me feel just a twinge of guilt.

"Isabella, go."

Mom kept her head down as she got up, never looking in my direction. It hurt more than I thought it would, seeing her so submissive, so unlike herself. "Fuck, Ma, I'm sorry. I –"

"Don't fucking touch her," Dad growled and I dropped my hand.

Fuck, I was tired of doing everything he said. Tired of following every order like the little employee he wanted me to be. I took a seat across from him.

"We have a lot of problems to solve. But if you ever talk about your mother like that again –"

"What? You'll do to me what you did to Jacob Black? What you do to everyone around the city?" I snapped, surprising myself. We hadn't talked about that day, me watching him kill someone, since the day after it happened.

"You know why –"

"Protect the family. Protect the family," I scoffed. I was tired of this family, done with them all. "I never asked to be part of this fuckin' family, the son of a couple of criminals."

I expected more yelling, waited for the anger I knew was inevitable at calling not only him but also Mom a criminal. The silence as Dad stared at me was incredibly unnerving.

"Get out."

"What?"

"Get out of my house," he repeated. "Go to Jasper's or Emmett's. Sleep off the fucking withdrawals. I'll deal with you once you've come down from whatever the fuck you're on."

"You're kicking me out?" I asked, confused. He couldn't kick me out, Mom wouldn't let him.

"I'm not going anywhere," I grunted as he grabbed me by my shoulder and started dragging me through the house. Christ, he was strong.

Dad had me shoved in the back of a car before I could do anything else. Eric, one of Mom's guards, got in the driver's seat. I looked out the window, glaring at my father. It was pretty fucking hypocritical, punishing me for using something he so willingly sold to anyone else in the city. The thought made me furious all over again so I flipped him off as Eric started to drive.

Jasper was standing on the porch as we pulled up, cell phone pressed to his ear. Probably talking to Dad. Even after the car was parked and turned off, I didn't get out until Eric opened the door and pulled me. Shit, how is everyone so much stronger than me?

The sun was just starting to come up as Eric shoved me inside the house. Jasper quickly hung up his phone and stared at me. It was like I could feel his disappointment seep into my skin.

"You know where the guestroom is. Go. Get some sleep," he said. His words were comforting but his tone told me he wanted to be anything but accommodating. If I wasn't so fucking exhausted I would have started something with him, because I was already going down. I had nothing left to lose.

I didn't have it in me, though. My body was exhausted and my mind fuzzy from everything that had happened in the last few hours. Sleep would be good, but I knew it wasn't what my body was craving. It wouldn't be enough.

A/N: A little introduction to Aiden's point of view on things. I've got another APOV coming up next, then we'll get back to Bella! There's (probably) less than 10 chapters left of this. I think. Things get wordy as I start to write them though. Anyway, I just wanted to give you a slight warning that we're getting close-ish to the end!

I know a lot of this was repetitive, and I'm sorry, but I thought you'd like Aiden's thoughts on a lot of this. The next chapter is all new, and I'm already about halfway done with it. So, that will for sure be up next week!

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.