This is not the planned one shot I was talking about earlier though there are hints about it in this one here too.
This one is actually inspired by mails and files that you can find in game on Kerry's laptop and some of them... raise questions?
I tried to answer them in his one shot.
The title, "A VISION OF YOUR MEMORIES", is a WIP song by Kerry, you can find it on his terminal.
"Kerry never did get it - only one thing worse than unfulfilled dreams. Dreams that come true."
- Johnny Silverhand
V woke up.
It was the first good night sleep he had since days. The, well, intense exercise of the night probably took part in that... waking up with a 'where am I, who am I and what year is it' feeling was something that barely happened these days.
V groaned, annoyed by the fact that his brain had decided to finally kick him out of the world of dreams and he slowly opened his eyes, blinked because the happy, bright sun shone right into his face through large walls of glass – couldn't call that a window.
His hand reached out behind him but he felt that the other side of the bed was empty. And turning around told him: yes, he was alone.
Rubbing his eyes he searched the floor next to the bed for his pants and even managed to reach into their pockets without falling out of the bed.
"What time is it...", he mumbled to himself but instead of noticing the clock on the phone screen, he noticed a message set on unread.
"Hey :*
didn't want to wake someone who snores like a truck driver but didn't want to stay in bed either. went to get special coffee and breakfast. make yourself at home but would be preem if you don't delta already, thou I kno you're busy.
- Kerry (yours!)"
V smiled like a gonk at his phone but then he actually noticed the time and cursed under his breath. 'Shit. Already 10... that contract for the Padre should've been closed yesterday night already and here I am...' He got up, gathering his clothes that were scattered on the floor all around the bed but then held still for a moment.
Ah fuck it.
He was late already.
So might as well have breakfast with Kerry.
Deciding that it would be smart to hit the shower first and kill some time through that, he dropped his pile of clothes on the bed and went for the bath room.
'Wow. Kerry never bought me coffee. Or breakfast.' He noticed Johnny leaning against the door. V gave him an annoyed look (and as always felt stupid for looking like that at something that was nothing but a product of his mind). 'Well you probably never earned it', he answered.
He could hear Johnny scoff. 'Gladly pass on that if I had to do with him what you did the night.'
V rolled his eyes, opening his mouth for a second before he reminded himself that there was no need to talk out loud. 'Are you going to comment on my sex life all the time now? Is it because I am not into chicks? That your problem, Mister Rockstar, Sir?'
While standing under the warm water, V could basically feel Johnny's cocky smirk, spread all over his face.
'Nah. But I mean... it's Kerry.'
'Okay, sorry for fucking your friend from your old band days. There. Happy?' V turned around, stepping out of the shower, but he couldn't see Johnny any more. Frowning he dried himself, slipped into his shorts and threw himself on the couch.
He had a few calls to make, a few messages to answer, a few jobs to check.
'Am actually glad it's you. And not some celebrity hungry fuck boy who wants him for his money or for his fame or fuck I know. Glad it's someone who wants him for his rocker boy heart, someone who helped him find himself again.'
V blinked in surprise, staring at a smoking Johnny, who looked out of the large windows, eyes hidden behind large sun glasses. Truth be told V didn't know to react to these words. It was easier for him to get along with the Johnny who made snarky remarks, who told him he was a gonkbrain, who had sarcastic comments about the fucked up Corpo world – but the Johnny who opened up his heart to him? Difficult to handle. But not unwelcome.
"I... thanks, Johnny, I mean-" V said out loud, not even realizing. But something interrupted him. A noise of an incoming video call on the open laptop on the table. Not his laptop. Not his video call.
V decided to ignore it.
'Might be important', Johnny said.
V's eyes were back on his phone. 'Not my business'.
A minute passed by. And another one.
Who ever called was persistent.
Very persistent.
'Not even curious? At least shut down the laptop, that noise is annoying as fuck.'
V lifted his gaze. His eyes fell on the name on the screen – Louise Nordin Eurodyne.
Veeeery persistent.
'If I shut the laptop she'll think he's home and wants her to fuck off.'
That name though. Must be family... maybe there was a reason she was persistent. Maybe it was important indeed. It would be just fair to at least tell her that Kerry wasn't home right now but would be soon and call back. Right? Right. Though V did wonder why this Louise didn't try it on his phone...
Letting out a sigh V leaned forward and hit the button to take the call. The window popped up, showing a woman who could easily be described in one word: pissed.
"Kerry I see that you're online you don't need to- who the hell are you."
"Name's V."
She raised one eyebrow and for a moment V wondered why she gave him such a strange, judging look.
"... V."
'You're sitting there just in your shorts, I hope you know that', Johnny's voice echoed in his mind.
V looked down on himself. 'Well fuck me.'
He cleared his throat. Sounding professional while sitting there in nothing but his underwear came easy to him, days at Arasaka offices to thank. Teaches you to sound calm in whatever shitty or awkward or deadly situation you sit in.
"Yeah. Just V. Kerry is not home at the moment but he'll be back soon. Shall I leave him a message or just tell him to call back or...?"
The woman on the other side of the call pinched her nose and closed her eyes for a second.
"Okay, Just V. Tell him to call back, not for me, but for Kim and Ted. And more you don't need to know. Oh... and don't flatter yourself that you got to spend the night and not been taking out with the trash already. You're not the first. Pretty sure you're not the last."
And with that she cut the connection.
Ouch.
V leaned back and stared at the laptop with raised eyebrows but then he shrugged. It was probably a good idea to get into some clothes. One awkward moment was enough for the day.
A few minutes later he could hear screeching wheels in the driveway.
"V! Get out of the damn bed already!", Kerry yelled from the door. V took the stairs down to the lower part of the loft like mansion.
"I'm up, I'm up. No need to yell, jeez."
"And still here I see", Kerry greeted him with a bright smile and pressed a cup of hot coffee into V's hand. Double espresso, Jamaican blend. No sugar. "Hope you don't mind that I already ate half of your doughnuts. Was damn hungry after last night."
A smirk crossed V's face as he gave Kerry a thankful nod. "Sorry not sorry. Hey uhm... someone gave you a video call."
Ker grabbed V's hand and pulled him towards the couch. "Yeah? Who?"
"One Louise Nordin Eurodyne. Look I am not someone who scoops around in other peoples messages or video calls or whatever. Privacy is privacy. But she tried to get through for minutes and I thought it might be important. She said you should call her back and for some reason it seemed to be important that I mention some Kim and Ted...?"
Something changed on Kerry's face. He didn't look that happy any more. And he didn't say a word for a couple of seconds while V just gave him a questioning look.
"Something... wrong?"
"Ah fuck", Kerry groaned and V watched how he threw his cup of coffee through the room – though he seemed more distressed than actually angry.
"Kerry talk to me. What's wrong? Who is she?"
"Ah she's... she's my Ex Wife and mother of my two children."
'Bwahaha she's whaaaaat', Johnny laughed in V's mind. 'How the hell did that happen!'
"Johnny shut up for a second", V hissed and Kerry lifted his head, a moment of confusion showing on his face before he frowned deeply.
'Jeez, V, you just had to say that out aloud, didn't you.'
"Don't worry, Ker. I will punch myself later, that hurts him too", V tried to joke.
"Urrg. It's... a long story and not one with a happy ending. Or a happy beginning. Or a happy... anything at all", Kerry finally said. "Guess I should've told ya? I don't know."
V lifted his hands. "Hey, no, that's alright. I am not pissed or anything. Just... confused. Because..."
"... you don't see me as a good father? Or a father at all? Or to be with a woman?"
"All of those things, actually."
Kerry fell silent for a few seconds.
"Well. I am a shitty father. Not gonna lie about that. I suck. But honestly? Didn't want kids. Got two. No idea what to do with them. I don't even know if I want them to love me because I am not even sure I love them myself. I mean. I like them. But they've never really been part of my life and... getting them involved into it? No. I don't see that happen."
V took in a deep breath. That wasn't how he'd expected this morning to turn out... he'd expected coffee, chilling on the couch, eating the doughnuts or whatever was left of them, make out with Kerry a bit, hop on his bike and get the job done for the Padre. But this?
"Well ehm... I mean... I can't relate, I guess. Used to think family is only dead weight any way, not really helping my career so I never... thought about having one. But if you never wanted kids then... why have them? Why get married even? Just to be divorced again?"
Kerry leaned into the couch and stared at the huge painting of his naked self on the wall.
"... exactly."
"What?"
"Life's scripted, V. At least mine. Or... has been. Decisions made for me, not by me. Thought I made them but didn't. In the end you have hundreds of people who constantly tell you what's best for you until you believe it. Manager telling me this is good for PR or we need to do that to stay in the media. Yearly reminder to the world that I am still fucking alive. People get bored. Even with their idols. They need news. Gossip. Shit to talk about."
V frowned a bit. That was a hard pill to swallow.
"Like the Us Cracks shit? Or the thing with your depression?"
"... yeah, kinda", Kerry said though V didn't fail to notice the hesitation. Something was off about the whole depression story anyway, V suspected that for a while now. But he wasn't certain and didn't want to poke. What Kerry was telling him right now was already pretty heavy.
"So what you tell me is that someone thought you should get married... to a woman... have children with her... and that all for... publicity? So media got stuff to talk about? That's... woah. I don't know what it is."
"Ugly? Perverted? Twisted?", Kerry offered and turned his head so he could face V. "Managed to keep Kim and Ted out of that shit at least. They are good kids. They don't deserve to get burned in the spotlight. Louise... not so much. Though I got the feeling she likes the attention of being Kerry Eurodyne's only ex wife." There it was again. This tormented look on Kerry's face. It twisted V's heart to see that look again.
"Guess you had many reasons to burn down Kovachek's Yacht." V reached out with his hand, cupped Kerry's face, his thumb gently stroking his cheek. "Hey. I don't care if you have six or sixty ex wives or been with, dunno, fifteen figure skaters before me and I get it. Lot of things you've done. Lot of bullshit you've been through. But you managed to come out on top. And you managed to get back to yourself again. Managed to make decisions for yourself."
"Yeah. Like you. You're one of the decisions I am actually quite proud of, ya know that?" Kerry said and seemed to relax a bit. Though this hurt look in his eyes... it didn't vanish completely.
V chuckled slightly. "Me? I am a decision?"
Ker nodded slowly into V's hand. "First time I saw you, it was match point and set. Never told you, was never the right time. That in that moment, I knew you'd be mine. I built a vision of your future memories. Where you whisper, open up your heart...", he hummed.
V's eyes widened a bit but then a warm smile crossed his face. He felt a warmth in his chest, his stomach that was new to him. But damn he liked it. He liked it very much.
"... reveal the place where I once had a heart."
Some say the hints of Kerry being married (and divorced) and him having two kids (you can find the e-mail conversation on his terminal) is "erased Bi-sexuality" and that Kerry was meant to be bi from the beginning. I had different thoughts.
"First time I saw you, it was match point and set. Never told you, was never the right time. That in that moment, I knew you'd be mine. I built a vision of your future memories. Where you whisper, open up your heart, reveal the place where I once had a heart." is taken from Kerry's WIP song "a vision of your memories".
