You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, but I never thought I'd live to see it break. It's getting dark and it's all too quiet and I can't trust anything now. And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake. Holding my breath, won't lose you again. Something's made your eyes go cold. ~ Taylor Swift, Haunted

BPOV

Maybe it was a universal thing, that no matter what age you were you never felt like you had your life together. It went in waves, it seemed like. Sometimes there were years where everything was fine and everyone was happy. Other times you ended up on trial for murder and were nearly sent to prison for life. I thought as time went on the waves would be smaller, not as dramatic. Now, I was nearing fifty and all of a sudden the perfect life I thought I had made for myself imploded.

Most people had it all figured out by fifty, right? Hell, Edward was already fifty so we should have been fine. There shouldn't have been any more surprises. The worst part was something in my gut told me this was just the beginning of this wave of hell. And that feeling is what had me constantly on the edge of panicking from the moment Edward woke me up and told me our son had been arrested.

That morning was on a constant loop in my mind. It didn't matter that I left the room halfway through the conversation. The yelling could be heard through the entire house.

I never asked to be part of this fuckin' family, the son of a couple of criminals.

Three months later and the words still felt like a slow burning stab to my heart. Because it was true and there was nothing I could do about it.

My entire life I avoided things that made me uncomfortable or things that were simply too hard to deal with. I hated living with Renee so I ran away, grateful for the escape of acting that was suddenly at my fingertips. Then Hollywood got to be too overwhelming and I exiled myself in the rehab center for a few months. When Edward told me who he really was I pushed him away and tried to avoid the subject for as long as possible. I had been in denial for years about being unable to have a child, but that was kind of the issue here now, too.

And for the past nearly twenty years I had avoided the fact that I was a criminal. I was married to one and I turned a blind eye to everything he did. I had sewn up his side when he was shot and washed blood out of his clothes. It had become normal for me and I didn't think twice about it anymore.

But it was times like this when I realized so much of what people said about me was true. All of the articles that constantly called me out for being manipulative? True. People who said being with Edward influenced bad behavior on my part? Correct. Aiden saying he was the son of a couple of criminals? Spot on. And it fucking hurt.

It didn't make me love my husband any less, because I understood that it was the only way of life he knew. I was taught right from wrong, though. Renee may have been a shitty parent, but her and Charlie taught me not to steal other kids' toys and told me that lying was wrong. I had a full set of morals instilled in me from a young age, the same set that kept the world – mostly – running smoothly.

I turned my back on all of that in an instant. I robbed a bank without a second thought and took over one of the largest crime families in the country without putting up much of a fight. I lured Aro Volturi to my home knowing he would probably try and kill me in the process.

Edward always told me that I didn't force his hand, that I was only protecting myself that night, but the truth of the matter was I wanted him dead. I didn't want to ever worry about him coming after any of us again or holding his parentage over our heads, and I wanted my husband out of jail for his disappearance. It was a win-win situation in my book. I felt guilty about not feeling guilty about it.

Again, it was one of the many things that I constantly avoided thinking about. My powers of avoidance started to crumble as soon as Aiden started learning the truth about the family. They were all but nonexistent since he called me insane that morning in Edward's office. Instead of being able to avoid it like I usually did, the entire thing was constantly running on a loop through my head.

You brainwashed her when she was younger and made her think you were this great guy.

Maybe she's always been that fucking insane.

Crazy enough to actually think you were a good guy.

I had issues, and I knew it. When I was eighteen I was diagnosed with bipolar depression. I had high days and low days and mood stabilizers to try and keep me somewhere in the middle. I was prone to anxiety and had my fair share of panic attacks when things got really bad. They were all things I had come to terms with years ago, but hearing my son call me insane seemed to set me back about twenty years.

I hadn't seen or heard Edward as angry as he was that morning in a long time. It broke my fucking heart that all of that was directed at Aiden. I wanted to interfere, try and find some kind of balance between the two of them, but there wasn't one. Aiden wasn't the little kid we had raised anymore; he was growing up and making his own decisions and they weren't the right ones.

Edward and I had both been a bit of a mess since Aiden left. He was down the street, and that should have been comforting, but it was a slap in the face. He shouldn't be living with Alice and Jasper. He should be with us.

Edward had been working on figuring out the whole mess. Legally, Aiden was clean. Edward made sure no charges were brought up against him. Evidentially it was easier to get a drug charge dropped than murder. The big question was who Aiden was getting drugs from. Edward knew, without a doubt, none of his people would have been stupid enough to do it. Most of the drugs that went through the city were Edward's, so it should have been easy to figure out who it was.

Except Tony, the name of the supplier he had gotten from Jackson, was a fucking ghost. He only contacted the boys himself, never left them with a way to get in contact with him. And it was always from a different, untraceable number.

Most days Edward was in his office, yelling at someone new who gave him another dead end. I usually locked myself in my own office, working on the soundtrack I no longer had any interest in doing.

That was all we did the first month; work and blame ourselves until it resulted in a breakdown from both of us.

I slammed my fingers down on the piano keys, frustrated that the melody that I knew I needed wasn't coming to me. It resulted in a disgusting clash of notes echoing throughout the house.

I scrubbed my hands over my face. It had been nearly a month since Edward kicked Aiden out, and I couldn't get rid of the overwhelming sense of failure that was taking over everything.

I had failed my son in the worst way possible; leaving him to resort to illegal drugs to escape from the life we built for him. I knew he was struggling with coming to terms with what our family was really like but I still left to go film a movie for six months, only able to make a few trips home here and there.

It had seemed like we were doing okay, Edward and I, considering having Aiden at all had been so sudden. He was a happy kid. He excelled at school and had a good group of friends. That was all any parent could ask for right? That their child was happy and loved?

I slammed my hands back down on the piano, letting out a frustrated, "Argh!"

"Everything okay?" Edward asked, standing in the doorway holding a scotch.

"No," I grumbled. "We shouldn't have kicked him out."

Edward sighed and took a sip of his drink. "I shouldn't have kicked him out, you mean?"

"He shouldn't be recovering at Alice and Jasper's. He should be here."

"Staying here wouldn't have done him any good, Bella."

That got me defensive. "We're his parents. We should be the ones helping him."

"I saw it in his eyes. No matter what we did, he never would have changed without a push. The shit he was saying –"

"He was right, Edward!" I shouted. I couldn't take all of the pretending anymore. We weren't good people and it was time we started to admit it. I pushed away from the piano and started pacing. "We are a couple of criminals. Half of our family belongs behind bars, ourselves included. This whole thing was just some cosmic joke. We were never meant to be parents. Maybe you were but I wasn't. He was right," I repeated. "I was… I am fucking insane.

"I was insane to think I could ever be a good mother, to think I wouldn't fuck my child up as much as me. It was fucking idiotic to think we could make this work, you and me raising him like this. To take over –"

"Do you want out?" Edward said, eerily calm and quiet.

"What?" I asked, blinking in his direction. I didn't understand.

"Do you want out, Isabella? Away from me, away from Chicago with Aiden?"

They were simple questions with simple answers, but they made my eyes go black and my ears ring.

"I wouldn't fight you on anything. You could have all of the properties we've bought, the company, all of the fucking money –"

"Stop!" I screamed, backing myself up against the wall for support. Those weren't scenarios I ever wanted to think about. "All I want is for both of you to be happy and I don't know how to make it happen," I sobbed, my feet giving out beneath me as I slid down the wall.

I hated this.

Hated doubting everything.

Hated my brain for always complicating things.

Hated hearing my husband ask me if I wanted to divorce him and leave him behind.

It felt like someone was constantly stabbing me in the heart even though I was already dead.

Then Edward pulled me away from the wall and into him. He held me as close as humanly possible, like he was trying to hold me together as I fell apart.

"Please don't leave me," I whispered against his neck, breathing in the comforting scent I could only describe as pure Edward.

We sat like that for a long time, muttering apologies and comforting words to each other. Promising to not let this destroy us more than it already had. Edward blamed himself because of his job and I blamed myself because of mine. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that not all of the blame was on us. Aiden made his own decisions and there was nothing we could have done.

But, in the heat of the moment, that logic didn't sound so logical.

Edward and I both felt a little better after our not-so-little breakdown. Sometimes it still infuriated me that he would even suggest that I leave him, and sometimes I knew he got upset at me for thinking Aiden was right that I was crazy. We were in limbo and it was hell, but there was one thing we knew for sure and that was that we would be there for each other, no matter the outcome.

Now, I was stuck on a two week press tour that I wanted no part of. Yes, I was proud of the film but I was petrified something would happen while I was gone. Which, of course, two days into the tour, it did.

"He's back?" I whispered into the phone, like if I said it too loud it wouldn't be true.

I was sitting in the middle of the giant bed, alone in my suite in New York. It was nearly one in the morning, but I didn't care that I had to be up in four hours.

"He's back," Edward said. "He looks like himself again, Bella. Acts like himself. It's like night and day compared to the kid we kicked out three months ago."

In my mind I was already mentally packing up the entire room. "I should come back. I can get on a plane and be there in –"

"We both know you can't do that, Bella," Edward sighed, sounding just as frustrated as I felt.

"I should be there."

"I know. I called Maggie, though, and she thinks it might actually be good timing. We should take things slow. It might have been too overwhelming if he had to face both of us at once."

I supposed it made sense, but I still hated it. As upset as I was that I wasn't there, an overwhelming sense of happiness washed over me.

"He's really there? In his room?"

The day after Edward kicked him out I cleaned every inch of his room. Found a few more bags of drugs hidden better than the first batch I found. But I wanted it ready for when he got back.

"Yeah," Edward said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "He's in his room."

I sighed, falling back against the pillows and fighting every urge to jump up and get back to Chicago as fast as humanly possible.

"Tell me how it happened."

Dark…

Edward's updates got me through the press tour. Whenever I was asked the same question for the hundredth time I thought about how he had taken Aiden to a batting cage the night before and they spent three hours practicing together. While I sat in my third makeup chair of the day I would think about Edward telling me they tried to bake homemade snickerdoodles but both decided they weren't as good as when I made them. When my anxiety skyrocketed while walking a red carpet alone for the first time in years I pictured them repainting Aiden's room together because he told Edward he wanted a fresh start.

Walking off of the filming stage for my last interview, I practically ripped the mic out of my shirt to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I was done. Finally.

I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face as I walked up the steps of the plane. Two weeks wasn't really that long, but it felt like a lifetime since I got the call from Edward saying Aiden was home. Now I was getting to see my son after three and a half months apart.

Things were still rocky. I knew Edward and Aiden had a few spats the last few weeks, though most of the time they were getting along fine. Edward still wasn't over the whole 'fucking insane' comment and I was sure Aiden was still worried about the family business hanging over his head.

That was what we were going to figure out now, though. I wasn't headed to Chicago to see them. We were meeting at the place Edward and I always went when things were tough.

The island.

The constant stress and long hours of the last few weeks helped me sleep on the plane. If I hadn't been so exhausted I would have been too anxious to sleep. I was a mess of jitters as Ben drove us to the docks. My leg bounced as I sat in the boat, searching the horizon for the island I knew was out there waiting for me.

An overwhelming sense of déjà vu assaulted me as I hopped off of the boat and onto the beach. I had done this exact thing before, under entirely different circumstances.

I froze in the middle of the small island, staring at the two men standing in the doorway staring at me. Aiden was only sixteen, but I knew he was a man now. He had faced struggles that could take down the strongest men and women in the world and survived and had to come to terms with things most never had to deal with. I didn't like it, but I knew I had to start treating him more like a man and less like the little boy I wanted him to still be.

I walked slowly toward them, like they would disappear if I made any sudden movements. This was all I had wanted for the last three months, all of us together, and now I didn't know what to do. Was he still mad at me? Did he hate what he found out about us the last few months? Was this all another act?

I took another small step toward Aiden and he held his hands up, immediately making my heart sink.

"First, I… I'm really sorry, Mom. About a lot of things, but especially what I said that morning. You're not – I don't think you're – Shit."

"Language," I said instinctively with a smile. It was a running joke we had ever since Aiden was about fourteen. Edward and I cursed too often and it was a habit we were never able to break so Aiden never really had a chance. Edward or I would scold him, but we all knew we never really meant it.

"Do you hate me?" Aiden asked quietly.

"I don't hate you," I sighed. "I'm disappointed in a few things and we have a lot to talk about, but I don't hate you."

Aiden let out a breath he was seemingly holding and I took that as my cue. I pulled him into a hug, one I had been craving for months.

When we pulled apart, Aiden quickly wiped his eyes, muttering something about Maggie under his breath. That I understood. Therapists were annoyingly right sometimes. I wasn't sure what this one was about, but I was sure that was what he was feeling.

"I have a lot of questions," Aiden admitted, looking back and forth from Edward to me.

"Why don't you go wait for us on the roof. We'll put your mom's stuff up and then meet you there," Edward said, coming to stand by me. He wrapped an arm around my waist, giving me a soft squeeze.

A bright smirk popped up on Aiden's face as he went toward the stairs. Before I could ask Edward about it he had me pressed up against him, by back to the door frame and his lips assaulting mine in the best way possible. I forgot about all of the things I had to worry about when he gripped my hips tightly and moaned when I tugged at his hair.

When we both ran out of breath Edward moved his lips across my cheek, down my neck to the spot he knew made my toes curl. It was like he knew the instant my mind blacked out and forgot what we had to be doing, choosing that second to come to his own senses.

Edward pulled away, cradling one hand around my cheek and smiled down at me. "I missed you."

I smiled up at him and couldn't resist wrapping my arms around his neck and burrowing myself as close as possible into him. It had been a horrible few months. We fought more than ever and distanced ourselves because we both thought the other blamed us for everything.

Maybe now we could finally start working towards getting back to normal.

Dark…

I had been nervous about coming back to the island. It was our safe place, yes, but it was also the place we went when things were falling apart. This time, though, it seemed to be where we needed to be to put the pieces back together.

Aiden was in the sitting area, on a chair that overlooked the ocean surrounding us. He didn't look sixteen, far from it. His eyes, the stoic look on his face told me that he had learned some lessons most adults had yet to learn. He was still a little on the lanky side, but I knew that would change soon. During one of our many phone calls, Edward told me they had started working out together, something to help Aiden release some anger he was still holding on to. Soon enough he would fill out and look even older than he already did.

Edward and I sat on the couch beside him. I curled my legs under myself and grabbed Edwards hand, anxiously fiddling with the wedding ring around his finger. There were going to be no more secrets after today. We would let Aiden ask whatever he wanted and answer his truthfully, because our other way obviously didn't work.

"Before you start," Edward said, looking over at Aiden. "Once you know these things you can never forget them. There are things that people outside of this family can never find out. If you're not willing to lie to your friends or, God forbid, the authorities, don't ask for the answer."

Aiden was quiet, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. I knew what his first question was.

"You can ask it," I told him. "It's okay."

"Did you…" he hesitated looking at Edward like he was waiting for him to stop him. "Did you plan it?"

"Yes," I replied with no hesitation. "Did you know he was my biological father?" He had told Edward that he looked us up, something I was surprised didn't happen a long time ago. I assumed he would know, but I couldn't make assumptions anymore.

"I was kind of hoping that was fake."

"Yeah, me too."

"So… wait…" He was as confused as most people were when they found out. It was a complicated story to wrap your head around.

"Do you want me to start at the beginning, and you can ask questions as we go?"

"The real story? Not just what you showed in the movies?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "The real story."

It took hours, but we told him everything. I told him about how I started my career, and how horribly Renee treated me back then. Edward told him about his childhood, growing up with Carlisle and Esme and never knowing a life other than the one he had now. Some memories were harder to talk about, like the shooting and the aftermath of it, and others were nice to relive.

We told him about how we met and Edward's blunder of talking about airhead actresses as he approached me. I went into more detail about how I felt when Edward told me what he really did, admitting that there wasn't really anything he could do now that would change the way I felt about him. Maybe I was blind for love, but sometimes I didn't think that was such a bad thing.

He knew most of our early story from my films, but we didn't skip over anything. We were being completely transparent about everything now.

Aiden muttered something about Alec when I admitted to stealing the file out of Aro's safety deposit box, and nodded when Edward reminded him it was something that could never leave the island.

More questions started coming up as we discussed the trial.

"You didn't look relieved when they read the verdict," Aiden said.

I nodded. I remembered the moment well. There was a small part of me that hoped what Carlisle had told me was true, that Edward was alive and waiting for me, but I knew that if I got my hopes up I would be crushed all over again when it was a lie to keep me loyal. Part of me thought that if I went to prison for the rest of my life I would never have to come to terms with the fact that I had killed my husband.

"I didn't want to go out there and live in a world where I was a widow. I didn't know what kind of life was waiting for me."

"So, you really did think he was dead?"

It was a conversation I'd had with many people before. I did my best to explain my thought process to him, convincing myself Edward was dead in order to not get my hopes up was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. Talking about it, even now, made me a little nauseous.

We took a break after that and went to eat the dinner they had cooked together before I arrived. I had forgotten how peaceful it was to be here, the sound of the ocean constantly surrounding us. The waves in front of me distracted me from the box being put in front of me.

I frowned down at the blue box. "What is this?"

"I, uh, missed your birthday. Dad helped me pick it out. He said whenever he does something stupid, jewelry helps soften the blow."

"Aiden, you – "

"I'm really sorry. About everything. I know how stupid it was to go down that path. I was just… scared and confused and angry. And I know I don't know everything yet but I understand," he said, almost frantically.

"I didn't get it before. How big some of these secrets were or why you wouldn't tell me the truth. But, watching your movies and looking you guys up online… I get it, now. Why you waited.

"I can't take back what I did or what I said, and I know I still have a lot of things to work through, but I'm just – I'm sorry."

Just like that, he was our son again. The kid who inherited my ability to ramble on when nervous and the one who got Edward's ability to charm his way out of anything.

To distract myself from the tears I knew were coming I carefully opened the box in front of me. Edward knew I didn't need jewelry or expensive presents to forgive anyone, but I knew he was making Aiden work for forgiveness from both of us.

Inside was a silver bracelet, surrounded by charms. There were initials for Edward and Aiden, and a little microphone too. There was a little Academy Award statue, and a piano. I laughed at the tiny snake charm.

"You saw the whole snake thing, huh?"

"Yeah… but the way you turned it around on everyone? Pretty fucking epic," he said with a smile. "I mean, that whole visual album thing you did… and the tours? You know most of the videos from you live are deleted online because of copyright or some shit, but it looked amazing. Oh! And…"

Aiden went on, talking about my music and tours and movies like he hadn't just spent the last few hours listening to us talk about the various crimes we had committed. Like he hadn't spent the last three months recovering from a drug addiction.

Edward reached over, clasping the bracelet around my wrist and squeezing my hand because he felt it, too.

Things were finally falling back into place.

Dark…

"It's not that big of a deal," I mumbled to myself as I walked in the house. I slid my coat off of my shoulders, shivering at the sight of the snow still evident against the black felt. "Not a big deal."

"What's not a big deal?" Edward asked, coming around the corner and smirking at me.

"Shit," I gasped, dropping my coat and purse. "I didn't think you'd already be here."

Edward frowned, hanging up my fallen coat and putting my purse on the table. "Everyone's here. For dinner."

"Damn it." I didn't want to sit through dinner without telling Edward what I had done, but I also didn't want to have the whole conversation knowing our entire family was waiting for us.

"You're very frazzled tonight. Did your meeting go okay?"

Edward started to lead me toward the family room, rubbing soft circles into my hand. Guilt knotted up my stomach and I pulled him into the corner before we were assaulted by everyone.

"I have to tell you something. I –"

"Holy shit, Ma, is this true?" Aiden rounded the corner, phone in hand.

It was a common question we got these days. In the weeks following our return from the island, we had given Aiden a little more independence. He was still being home schooled, but had started dropping hints that he was ready to go back to regular school. He had his phone back, but knew that at any second Edward or I would go through his entire history to make sure he wasn't reverting back to any of his old tricks; mainly contacting the mysterious Tony.

Little fucker would regret getting my son into that shit if I ever saw him.

Edward and I had also given him free reign to look into us more than he already had, on the condition that he ask us for confirmation on things before he came to any conclusions. We were completely honest whenever he asked us about our history. So, his sudden exclamations asking if something was true were pretty common around the house these days. It just wasn't something I felt like dealing with right now.

"Is what true?" I asked, looking over at him, simultaneously thankful and frustrated at the interruption.

"You bought Milestone Records?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It was true. Stupidly true.

Peter was in town and asked me out for a drink. I went, of course, and expected the evening to go like our usual get togethers went. We talked about music and our lives and he tried to convince me to release another album. That wasn't how tonight went.

I took a sip of my wine, enjoying it while I could. We had gotten rid of every drop of alcohol from the house because of Aiden. Edward said it was just a precaution in case he hooked onto another substance in a moment of weakness.

Peter slid a file across the table toward me. "What is this?"

"A document getting you out of your contract with Milestone. I'm selling the label and I don't want you to feel trapped."

"You're selling it? Why?"

"I just need out. I've been doing this for too long. I want to throw away my phone and travel and actually see the world, you know? Not through a screen."

"But, you could still…"

"I did the best I could, but I couldn't get everyone to sign off on giving you ownership of your masters. Our open-ended contract is void now, though. You can have a lawyer look over this before you sign it."

I had been signed with Peter and Milestone since I was nineteen. We'd had a very open contract. I was never required to put out seven albums in a certain amount of time or anything. Whenever I wanted to release music, I could. He never forced me into anything, and I always knew I could trust him with the music aspect of my career.

I pulled open the file and skimmed over the paper. It was a bunch of legal jargon that I didn't really care about, but I would give it to Jared tonight to look over. It made my stomach uneasy, knowing that some money hungry guy in a suit would soon have access to my entire back catalogue, though.

"How much do you think you'll be able to get for it?" I asked calmly, taking a hefty sip of my wine.

Peter shrugged. "My lawyers already put out some feelers. They're thinking somewhere around $300 million."

I didn't think. Just spoke. "I'll take it."

That was about an hour ago, so I was pretty fucking shocked that Aiden somehow knew about it already.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked, looking over at him with wide eyes.

"I have a news alert for you on my phone. Someone went to TMZ and said they overheard you buying Milestone Records tonight. For three hundred million dollars."

"First of all, you don't need a news alert for me," I told him, snatching the phone out of his hands. I quickly skimmed the article, which was annoyingly accurate. "Give us a minute, okay?"

Aiden slunk off back to the family room and I cowardly fiddled with his phone instead of facing my husband.

"Bella –"

"I'm sorry. I know I should have talked to you about it first. I just blurted it out before thinking and then I couldn't take it back," I exclaimed.

"Bella –"

"Peter tried to get me out of his sale completely, but the other investors wouldn't give up my masters. Then I panicked and didn't want anyone else –"

"Isabella," Edward interrupted. I looked up at him and frowned as he smirked at me. "You really thought I'd be mad?"

"Well, I mean… I know you made a big deal about telling me to not worry about spending your," I paused at his abrupt frown. "Our money when we first got married but I think three hundred million might be crossing a line, don't you think?"

"I trust you and your judgement. I know you've gotten screwed over in the past and don't like letting other people control any part of your career, and I respect the fuck out of that. You're a remarkable businesswoman, Bella. I have no doubt you'll do wonderful things with Milestone."

Huh. "You're really not upset?" It wasn't that I thought he would be furious at me. The man didn't blink twice about running away with me and becoming a fugitive to save me. I thought he might be a little offended, maybe. That I made such a big decision without consulting him.

"I can be upset if you want, but we both know you could afford it on your own, too," he shrugged, then got a wicked glint in his eyes. "We can work out an alternative form of payment if you'd like."

"It would take a lot of sex to 'repay' three hundred million," I joked, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek. It seemed so stupid to be worried about his reaction now.

Edward pulled me close enough to feel every hard line of his body against mine. Soft lips nipped at my ear before whispering, "Once with –"

"Hey, are you guys – oh, gross. Aunt Alice is done heating up the pasta you set out, Ma," Aiden mumbled, retreating back to the kitchen.

Edward nipped at my bottom lip quickly. "Tonight."

Dinner was nice. It usually was these days, because we spent so many broken up. There had been three months of dinners where Alice would look guilty and sad the whole time, never looking me in the eyes. Three months of me pestering her about how he was doing. Three months of all-around hell.

Now, my son was sitting across from me, smiling at his cousin as they talked about baseball stats, or football, or whatever was going on right now.

It was nice to finally feel like a family again.

Later that night, after everyone had gone and Aiden was in his room, I still felt guilty. Edward had gotten a call so I had my entire shower to stew and think about how stupid what I had done was. I didn't know what to do with a record label, or what it even entailed to own one. I could pawn off all of the big responsibilities to someone else, but I hated doing that. It always ended up in me getting screwed over somehow.

After running a towel through my hair and wrapping a warm robe around my shoulders I marched to Edward's office, fully intent on telling him I was going to back out and sign the document I had given to Jared earlier. The one Peter said got me out of my existing contract with him.

I paused outside of the closed door for a moment, listening to see if he was still on the phone, then proceeded to nearly fall on my ass when Edward opened it.

"Are you okay?" he asked, keeping a hand on my hip to steady me.

"I'm going to back out," I blurted out, brushing past him and into his office to pace as I spoke. "I don't know the first thing about running a label and I don't want something to take too much of my time away from home. And it's a lot of fucking money that –"

Edward gripped my arm and twisted me around to face him, smiling patiently down at me. "I was just kidding about the 'alternate form of payment' thing, Bella. It's a lot of money, but it's an investment. You'll earn it back."

"But I don't know how to run a label, Edward."

"You excel at everything you do, Isabella," Edward said so matter-of-factly I couldn't not roll my eyes. "It's true. You are the most stubbornly tenacious person I have ever met. You went from having no acting experience to being in one of the most successful franchises ever to being the most awarded actor in Academy Award history. You got told you couldn't act for a year so you turned to music and now you have two Grammy's for Album of the Year. You've successfully started a talent agency with your friends and ran the production company quite lucratively for years.

"You don't have to do it on your own. You can hire the best in the business to help guide you through the whole thing. I have absolutely no doubt that you'll be able to do wonderful things with it."

Edward always knew how to calm my anxiety, but it was more than that. He never said things he didn't mean and he was an excellent businessman. He wasn't just saying these things because he wanted to calm me down, he was saying them because he meant it.

Our lives had been such a mess lately and it was easy to forget all of the good things we had going. Yes, I would worry every day for the rest of my life that my son would revert back to drugs, or that I would get a phone call that he had overdosed. At this moment, though, I knew he was doing fine. Better than he had been in a long time.

There was always a voice in the back of my head that warned me that while I pictured my husband going to work and sitting behind a desk all day, there were times when he was doing much more dangerous things than that. He had been shot at more times than I cared to know, and could be taken away from me at any moment.

When bad things happened, like Aiden getting arrested, they sent my mind into overdrive. They made me a mess of worry and fear and anxiety for months. Maybe the label would be a good distraction, would help me dig myself out of the hole I had buried myself under.

Edward knew it, too. He knew me better than I knew myself. He knew that every time I picked a fight with him the last few months it was because I was scared and sad and he understood that I didn't handle change very well. He knew and he understood because he was my best friend. Had been practically since the moment I met him.

I didn't think. Just jumped, knowing Edward would catch me with an arm around my waist.

"I love you," I whispered, attacking his lips with mine, groaning as his tongue rubbed sensually against mine.

We started moving but I didn't focus on that. I focused on the hands that cupped my ass under my robe and the light stubble that scratched my chin as Edward returned my kiss.

A door slammed shut and Edward sat down. He pulled away, only to focus his efforts on my neck. I had my eyes open just long enough to notice we were in the sitting area in the far side of our bedroom. Then Edward slid a hand up my thigh, pressing this thumb against my clit lightly as he slid two fingers inside me. My eyes squeezed shut and my hips bucked against his hand.

Moaning into his kiss, I started frantically tugging at his clothing. I tossed his tie into the corner and unbuttoned his shirt as far as I could. I whimpered when he removed his hand from me, but reveled in the sound of the zipper of his slacks opening.

As soon as Edward had his cock free from the confines of his slacks, I slid myself down over his hard length. It didn't matter that he was still nearly fully clothed or that my robe was hanging off of my shoulders, all that mattered was him.

"I love you," I breathed out every time my hips rolled with his.

Edward was quiet, but his eyes never left mine. He kept one hand on my hip and the other cupped my neck, his fingers gently massaging and making it so my eyes stayed locked with his.

I gasped as he stood suddenly, his hands tight on my thighs as he walked. I flung my robe off of my shoulders just before Edward tossed me onto the bed. It took all of my willpower not to whine as Edward untangled himself from me to get rid of his clothing.

He was taking too long, but the second my hand reached down to ease the pressure he left building inside of me, he snapped.

"No."

Edward was over me then, his hands intertwined with mine and pressing them into the mattress. His body rested heavily over mine and I basked in it, aware of every inch of our skin that touched.

"You're mine," he whispered in my ear, tugging lightly at it. "Your lips are mine to kiss, your breasts mine to play with." He accentuated his words by doing just as he said, kissing me fiercely and covering my breasts with his hands, kneading and tugging at my nipples until I wanted to scream.

"This pussy and every orgasm you have is mine; whether it's on my fingers, my tongue, or my cock. It's all mine."

Finally, finally, he slid back inside me and we both groaned. He stilled as soon as we were flush against each other, looking down at me.

"You and me, Bella," he whispered, his hands trailing up down my side, hitching my legs around him. "Always you and me."

I didn't know whether I wanted to scream or cry when he finally started thrusting against me. I settled for burying my head in his neck, sucking on the soft skin above his collarbone and digging my nails into his back.

We moved like that for what felt like hours. It was never enough. I always needed more of him inside me, surrounding me, consuming me.

Life, especially the life we chose, was hard. It was dangerous and stressful and sometimes made it so I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, mainly in the last few months. I would be lying if I said Aiden's issues hadn't put the biggest strain on us that we had seen since we got married, and it still felt like we weren't quite right sometimes.

This, we always got right, though. There was never a time when I felt scared or confused when Edward had his arms around me, or when it felt like he was so deep inside me we were the same person.

We had both reached the point of no return as Edward started thrusting harder, pounding me into the bed. He tangled his fingers in my hair, holding me to him and keeping our eyes locked.

My body felt like it was burning slowly from the inside out, when Edward whispered, "Come for me." I had no control over my muscles as my legs shook and my nails dug deep into his back. My eyes squeezed shut and my mouth hung open in a silent scream as he collapsed on top of me.

I was no stranger to long hours or intense workouts, but I was fairly confident that my body and mind had never been quite as exhausted as they were in that moment. Edward somehow still had the energy to get us both situated in bed, under the covers and wrapped around each other again.

I sighed against him, pressing a lazy kiss to his chest as my eyes closed. "Love you," I mumbled, because I felt like I hadn't said it enough lately.

"I love you, Bella," was the last thing I heard before I relaxed into sleep.

A/N: Sorry about the two week wait again. This chapter got away from me a bit, but I hope you liked it. It definitely didn't turn out like I thought it would, but that's what makes writing so exciting. Sometimes things just… happen. Part two coming next week because I can't control myself and keep ending up with 15k word chapters. It's getting out of hand, honestly.

Also, I'm on twitter now! I've been meaning to make one for this for ages, but kept forgetting whenever I had the time. I'm fragilefanfic on there – I'm going to start posting some of my picture inspirations for some parts of these stories, my writing playlists, and probably some teasers here and there! It'll also be where you can find out if a chapter is delayed and whatnot, which is my main reason for making it. Hope to see ya there :)

There's about seven inches of snow on the ground here for me, so I thought it was a good day for an early update in case any of you are stuck at home like me! Next chapter (hopefully) up next Friday!