You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye. And I got that red lip, classic thing that you like. And when we go crashing down, we come back every time. 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style. You've got that long hair slicked back, white t-shirt. And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt. And when we go crashing down we come back every time. ~ Taylor Swift, Style

BPOV

The summer before Aiden left for college was trying to say the least. Everyone was subtle about it, but none of them were very good actors. Hints were dropped, things said that were obviously trying to convince me that I shouldn't retire. Most of their words had the opposite effect on me.

Yes, I remembered performing at the Super Bowl and I knew it was still held the record for the most watched halftime show.

I did, in fact, recall winning Best Picture at the Academy Awards for reputation, a film I wrote, produced, and starred in.

No, there was never a day I forgot that I had more than a handful of Grammys displayed in my office.

Most of them didn't understand why I wanted to retire. All of their encouraging was sweet, and I truly appreciated that they all supported my career, but it was getting a little tiresome.

As prominent as the Cullens were in Chicago, that was really the only city where people knew or recognized them before I came along. No one in Los Angeles or Seattle or Orlando would have known Edward was a career criminal if they ran into him on the street a few decades ago.

Now, of course, they were a little more recognizable because of me, but even with that Alice and Rosalie were never really hounded by photographers. They didn't have people writing articles about their spending habits or calling them shitty parents online. Emmett and Jasper never had people blatantly staring at them from across the street in every city they went to.

There were so many facets that led me to my tentative choice to retire, but there were three main reasons that most of the family didn't really understand, all of them twisted together in ways that told me retiring was for the best.

One, I was tired. Of so many things. Physically and mentally, I was exhausted. When Edward and I came back to Chicago the first time, when I released reputation, I had a lot of fight left in me. I wanted a long and prosperous career and knew I needed to set the record straight to achieve that. I didn't have that same fight or need now. I was metaphorically beaten and bruised and didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

I was tired of seeing my face on tabloids as I shopped, sick of hearing my name on the news. All of the hoops that had to be jumped through for a career in the entertainment industry were no longer worth it to me.

Two, my reputation truly was shit these days. Even if I wanted to keep working, I would have to beg people to want to work with me. I spent hours and hours begging producers and actors and anyone else to take a chance on me after the trial. Again, I was too fucking exhausted to go through that a second time around.

The third, most important reason was Aiden. There were so many things revolving him that made me want to quit. He was starting college and I knew he was looking forward to the freedom and the clean slate it would get him. Nothing took that away from him more than having kids poke fun at him or use him because of me. I knew they used to, when he was in middle school was when it was the worst. Most of the kids that went to his private school were little shits.

There was never a day that went by that I didn't regret the last film I did, the one that took me away from him when his addiction was at its worst. The one whose press tour took me away right when he was ready to come back home.

If I didn't have the stress of work hanging over my head I could be there for him more, especially if he was truly serious about following Edward's footsteps. Something that was becoming more and more likely, especially after his little speech at his graduation party.

I could retire knowing I had a career to be proud of. Even with everyone calling me a crack whore or a failure, I knew the statistics. I knew I had racked in billions in the box office and had albums that sold in amounts most artists would kill for. I had a talent agency that helped some great people start their careers, and a production company that, while laundering money, put out some spectacular films. Over time, those things would outshine the trials and scandals.

Still, just the thought of not working kept me up most nights, tossing and turning and trying to tell myself not to be sad about it.

Dark…

The sweltering mid-July heat kept me awake as I sat on the uncomfortable metal bleachers. My only company was Alistar, who was sitting a few benches above me with his eyes scanning the area thoroughly.

Aiden had taken to coaching a kids' baseball team, so I was braving the elements to come see a game. The heat was the least of my problems. There was only so much a hat could hide, so it wasn't long before I started to hear the whispers around me.

"Hey," a deep, raspy voice sounded next to me. I looked over at the man and sighed. He had dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, the kind written in so many love songs. He was attractive enough, I supposed. Maybe he just wasn't unattractive.

"Hello," I said politely, turning my eyes back on the game. Aiden was smiling at the boys, most probably around ten, as they played.

"Pretty hot out here, huh?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "Well, it is July, so it's to be expected."

"My place is just down the street, you know. If you needed a place to… cool down." His tone and the way his eyes traveled down my body told me that cooling down definitely wasn't what he had in mind.

"I'm married," I grunted, looking at his finger and seeing a gold band of his own. "Just like you."

"My wife is visiting her family in New York for the week."

"Oh, I was unaware that crossing state lines immediately nulled marriage vows," I replied sarcastically. It was a little immature, but I was sick of this pig. He wasn't the first man to come up to me lately. People were still under the impression that Edward and I were having marital trouble, and it was annoying as hell. Even though all of the little seeds we planted before were long gone, people were holding on to the idea we were headed for a divorce.

"You don't have to be such a bitch."

"You don't have to be such an asshole, but here we are." I could see his hand twitch, and I almost longed for him to try something just so I could make sure he felt a tiny semblance of the pain his wife would probably feel if she knew what he was doing. "Touch me and I'll break your fucking hand."

Alistar showed up, and one look from him sent the asshole back to his spot on the other side of the bleachers. I turned my focus back to Aiden as he knelt down next to one of the boys who was about to go throw a pitch. As soon as he glared back at the man who was next to me a second ago, I knew something was up.

I couldn't have stopped the loud cackle if I tried, as soon as I saw the stray ball go straight for the asshole, nearly hitting him in the head. I had to slap my hand over my mouth to cover my laugh while people gasped and asked if he was okay.

Aiden looked over at me and winked.

"I can't leave you two alone anywhere, can I?"

This time, the voice next to me was smooth and familiar. Edward sat beside me, smirking, his eyes drifting from me to Aiden down on the field.

I smiled up at him as he sat, leaning over for what I intended to be a quick peck. He turned it into something far too intense to be done at a baseball game.

"What was that for?" I panted against him when he pressed his forehead against mine.

"For being mine."

I let out a happy sigh and rested my head against his shoulder. Edward was in a simple black t-shirt and jeans, making us nearly match except mine were jean shorts.

We sit in a comfortable silence and watch the game. It's better than any television show, watching Aiden interact with the kids. He's got a smile on his face the whole time, he clapped and high-fived every one of them when their turn batting is over, no matter how good they did.

Even though the boy I was looking at was fully grown; a good six feet tall and starting to look more and more like an adult by the day, I still saw him as the little guy that followed me around the house when he was seven. Or the tiny baby sleeping soundly in Edward's arms.

"Do you think he would have liked a sibling?"

"I'm sure if he had one he would love them, but I don't think he ever longed for one. He always liked having our undivided attention when he was little."

It was true. He would go through phases when he was younger where he pulled Edward and I into a room just to watch him play, or listen to him practice the little toy piano he had. He would talk and talk through dinner, absolute nonsense but he would get upset if either of us wasn't paying attention. He was cute as hell.

Edward squeezed my knee softly. "You're very… introspective today."

I shrugged.

"Still thinking about retiring?"

Edward was the only one who wasn't pushing his agenda on me. He talked to me about it if I brought it up, but other than that he didn't pester me with anything.

"Yes."

As expected, Edward changed the subject. "I bought us a chalet in Switzerland. It'll be perfect by the time we're ready to go."

Switzerland. Solitude. Mountains. No one to bother us for weeks, months if we wanted. It was going to be heaven.

"You know, you could just as easily rent a place like that."

"Where's the fun in that?"

Dark…

I was no stranger in inane business meetings. The girls in Los Angeles typically skyped with me once a month on the progress there, simply keeping me in the loop on the goings on of the talent agency. I didn't really put a lot of effort into that business venture, because I knew they had it well under control.

I ran the production company for years, though. It was a good way to keep myself working while still having time to be with Aiden as he grew up. With Edward always around to answer any questions I had, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on what it took to run a company.

When thinking of the label, though, I failed to take into consideration how much the music industry was dominated by men in suits.

With a couple Academy Awards under my belt, people typically trusted me to know what movies were good and bad and what to do with them. I never had a problem like that with the production company.

I was a little more inexperienced with the music side of things, though. I only had three albums, and while they were all successful, it had been years since I released anything like them. Something the men sitting around me never failed to bring up. It didn't matter than I ran a variety of companies over the years, they saw me as inferior no matter what.

Typically, most of the people here were streamed in via skype, but everyone decided on a face-to-face meeting today. Because they were trying to intimidate me.

I was still pretty confident I was going to sell the label. As much as I hated to, it wasn't doing as well as it once was and I was a big part of that. These assholes didn't need to know that just yet, though.

We were in one of the conference rooms Edward had at his office. So far, it had been an hour of them talking down to me like I didn't know how to read a spreadsheet. It made me question Peter's choices if this was the group he had behind the label.

You just don't have the pull you used to, Mrs. Cullen.

We've heard from a few more artists that they're unhappy with the new ownership and looking elsewhere.

Morale would be better if we knew things were going to change, but your reputation precedes you, Mrs. Cullen.

It wasn't all digs at me, they bickered amongst themselves sometimes, too. It was all pointless.

"Shut the fuck up," I sighed, not caring about the way they all stared at me in mock concern. "Everything is frozen until further notice. No one does anything; no meetings with talent, no releases, nothing. Understood?"

"Mrs. Cullen, just admit defeat on this one," one of the men sighed.

"Everyone except for… you, you, and you," I pointed to the only three people around the table that seemed to know what they were doing and not be assholes about it. "Are fired. I'll meet with everyone else when I get back in town."

Maybe it was my imagination, but the only woman in the room, one of the three I kept, looked pretty giddy as soon as I got rid of everyone else. I could have sworn she mouthed finally as well.

I gathered the stack of papers in front of me while everyone fought amongst themselves. As soon as I got to the door, one of the men stood in my way, his arm shooting out and slamming against the door frame.

"You can't just come in here and pull shit like this. You're a spoiled little brat spending your husband's money."

"When you drop $300 million for a label, you can call the shots. Now, get out of my way."

He wasn't going to move, that much was obvious. His nostrils flared and he seemed to be contemplating whether punching a woman was really as bad as everyone said it was. Before he could decide, the door swung open and Edward stood between me and the arm.

"Is there a problem?"

It was wrong, but the way his face drained of color when he realized Edward was behind him was a little rewarding.

"No," he grunted, stepping away.

Edward wrapped an arm securely around my waist and led me to his office. He didn't say anything when I slumped against the couch, resting my head back and squeezing my eyes shut.

Once a few minutes had passed he asked, "How did it go?"

"I fired everyone. Well, almost everyone. I kept the three that weren't pompous assholes."

I waited a few minutes for him to say something. Maybe tell me I shouldn't have fired most of the people that helped keep the place running. When he didn't say anything, I turned and peaked one eye open at him.

"You're not going to tell me I shouldn't have done that? Or that it was a bad business more?"

"You're a smart woman. You know what's right for you and who you want to work with."

Edward never pushed me to talk about my retirement decision, but he made little comments like that. One's that made it seem like he knew something I didn't. Like it was common knowledge that I wasn't going to get rid of the label.

I hated the knot of uncertainty it left me with.

Dark…

The excitement was palpable when Edward parked the car outside of the dorm. It didn't really look like a typical college residence hall, though. It looked more like an historic home that had been updated. Apparently only about twenty-five students lived here.

Everyone was excited, Aiden especially so as he parked his car right behind us. It was the first time he had the freedom of driving himself somewhere in a long time. But, he was about to be on his own and the car was kind of necessary for that.

Edward hopped out of the car and met Aiden outside. They stood there and talked for a minute while I sulked in the car. This wasn't a day I had been looking forward to.

Yes, I was proud of Aiden for everything he had done and I knew college was his next step, but it sucked. Really, really, sucked. Because I had that kid by me for the last eighteen years and now he was leaving.

I got out of the car and leaned against the door, watching my two favorite boys talk about the building. Physically, they were so similar from the back; nearly identical hair and stance. Aiden was just a hair shorter than Edward.

A girl came up to Aiden and he gave her his information. They started talking about the process of getting settled in and Edward joined me by the car.

"I don't get the whole college thing," I grumbled. "I never went to college and I turned out just fine."

A few passing parents scowled at me. Edward laughed.

"He'll be fine, Bella. Look at him."

He did look pretty happy. The one thing that he somehow learned on his own was how to make friends instantly, something neither Edward or I were very good at. But Aiden was the kid who said hello to everybody he passed and made everyone feel comfortable enough to talk to him. It was something I just started noticing about him.

As much as I hated it, I knew he was going to love it here. Love the freedom he was going to have and love being able to start over new, not as the kid who disappeared for months for some mysterious reason.

The day progressed pretty quickly. It was a lot of boxes and unpacking and watching Aiden fall so easily into his new life. His roommate, a kid named Ryan, seemed genuinely nice. His mother ran at me with open arms the second they showed up, and told me she had been a fan of mine since she was twenty. It was actually kind of sweet. Especially because I knew Edward had run extensive background checks on the whole family and they were all harmless.

The place he was going to live wasn't at all what I thought a college dorm would be like. It had a few large common areas on the main floor, a small kitchen, and some of the cleanest common bathrooms I'd ever seen. His room was definitely small compared to what he was used to, especially considering he was sharing it with someone else, but he didn't seem to mind.

When most of the hard work was done, I kept myself busy straightening the desk that was already tidy or tucking the sheets into the bed that was already made.

Ryan and his parents were running a last-minute errand, so it left the three of us alone. When Edward put a hand on my shoulder I knew it was time to leave but I stood my ground.

Turning to Aiden, I grabbed his cheeks and tilted his face down to look at me. "You'll be okay?" He nodded. "I know college is when you're supposed to let loose and party and –"

"I think I let loose enough in high school, Ma."

"Your father and I can stay in town a few more weeks if you think you need –"

Aiden carefully pulled my hands away from him and put them by my side. "I'll be fine, I promise. You guys go and have a good time. I have Emmett or Jasper or Alice or Rosalie or Alec or a million other people here if something happens."

I wrapped my arms around him, trying to hide my sniffle as best as I could.

"I'm really proud of you," I whispered to him.

"Love you, Ma," he said, squeezing me tight before letting go.

I stood back while Edward talked to him, willing myself not to burst into tears. I usually had no problem controlling my emotions. I could cry on command and I could definitely hold tears back when necessary, but I felt like I was about to explode.

When Aiden and Edward were done talking Edward took my hand and Aiden walked us down to the front door. When we walked outside and the setting sun blinded me for a minute, I flashed back to that random day eighteen years ago when Doctor Banner told me I was pregnant. Flashforward to now and the little peanut that grew inside of me was standing there, smirking the same way his father did.

I looked back at him and felt the first tear slide down my cheek. Aiden gave me some pity eyes and walked over quickly, wrapping me in another tight hug.

"I'll be okay. I promise."

"I just love you, you know?"

Sometimes I couldn't believe I never wanted this; a child of my own. The thought of a life without him seemed so foreign to me now.

"I know. I love you too. I'll see you in a few weeks."

He nodded over my shoulder, and I vaguely wondered what Edward was saying to him. I pulled away slowly, delaying the inevitable.

Edward opened the car door for me, watching me carefully as I got in. He leaned into me and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before getting in on his side.

I slumped into my seat, suddenly exhausted. Edward grabbed my hand and pressed a kiss to my palm.

"Ready to go?" he asked quietly, his eyes on the road.

Our bags were sent to the airstrip this morning. We were heading to Switzerland tonight, for three weeks with just the two of us.

I was still sad, but I knew this was just part of life. At least he wasn't at a school across the country or anything. We would still be able to see him whenever needed. Edward, as usual, was right, because the thought of three weeks alone right now sounded like heaven.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

Dark…

Switzerland was one of the most beautiful places I had ever been to. It kind of felt like we were living in a snow globe, it was that picturesque. We were in a tiny town called Zermatt that was nestled in between some mountains. The little cottage, cabin, chalet, whatever it was called that Edward had gotten us was amazing. It had wonderful views of everything thanks to the walls of windows, but still managed to feel warm and cozy.

It took us both a few days to start to enjoy ourselves after getting here. Aiden called us after a day or so and once we knew, for sure, that he was still doing okay it was easier to finally relax.

It had been a week of catching up on sleep that we had missed out on for eighteen years since having a baby, eating some of the most delicious food imaginable, and finally starting to feel like ourselves again.

Edward, of course, was right in that regard. Sometimes I got stuck in my head and going to rehab to pretend to be a drug addict wasn't an easy thing to let go of. I was finally starting to feel a little more normal.

It was also refreshing as hell to be able to walk down the street without a photographer behind me or someone pointing a cell phone at me. Either people didn't know who I was or didn't care, and I loved it.

I knew what today was, but I was hoping it was lost on Edward. He hadn't let anything slip that he knew it was my birthday, and I wanted it to stay that way. Birthdays were never my favorite thing in the first place, add in the fact that I was getting dangerously close to the age of fifty, and I was even less of a fan. My age never really bothered me in the past, I didn't freak out when I turned thirty or even forty, mostly because I was too busy with Aiden to really worry about it, but fifty seemed big and ominous and every year just meant I was one step closer, and I only had a couple more before I was thrown over the edge.

So far, he was acting as though it was just another day. We woke up slowly and peacefully, not in a big rush for anything. We walked to a nearby bakery for breakfast and were taking a peaceful stroll through some of the shops. Nothing birthday related at all.

We walked slowly, fingers intertwined, until Edward slowed to a stop. I looked at the store, frowning at the closed sign.

"It's closed," I told him, wondering why he seemed so interested in a jewelry store.

Fuck.

Edward said nothing, just smirked down at me until someone quickly unlocked the door in front of us. The man, dressed in a sharp suite, started talking quietly to Edward in another language. Thankfully, a lot of the people here spoke English so it wasn't that much of an issue for me usually. Edward, of course, somehow spoke a few different languages efficiently enough to get us around whenever we traveled.

Edward pulled me over to one of the many cases, filled with sparkles, and squeezed my hand. "Pick out whatever you want."

"Edward…"

"Did you really think I would forget your birthday?"

"I was hoping you were just… ignoring it."

"You have to be the only woman on the planet who wants her husband to ignore her birthday," he said with a soft smile, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I just – "

"There's no surprise party or big event planned by Alice. No one is going to jump out of the corner with a cake or confetti. I know you don't want that. I do, however, want you to pick out something for yourself. Don't think of it as a birthday present, think of it as a souvenir."

"A very expensive souvenir," I grumbled.

Edward pressed a quick but intense kiss to my lips, tilting my head up to his. "Either you pick out what you want or I ask him for the most expensive thing he has."

There was no doubt in my mind he would do exactly that if I put up much more of a fight. I wandered through the store. All of it was beautiful, of course. All things any woman would love to have, but I had jewelry boxes full of beautiful things at home. Jewelry was never something I really bought for myself, either, besides the matching rings I had with the Cullen women, everything I had was a gift from Edward.

I had a vague memory of telling him no one had ever given me jewelry before. On my birthday, I think, the first one we were together for and he gave me a stunning bracelet. Maybe he took the challenge a little too seriously, making up for my lack of shiny gifts that he thought I needed.

It wasn't like I could really be mad at him, either. He wasn't simply throwing shiny things in my face so I wouldn't question where he was at night or what he was doing. I knew what he did. He gave me these things because he loved me, and had some old-fashioned idea that he had to provide everything for me, including jewelry.

I stopped at one case, a pair of earrings catching my eye. To me, it looked like the tails of two snakes intertwining, slithering along. They were encrusted in diamonds, of course, practically everything here was. They were simple, though, because it could just as easily be an intricate design that wasn't supposed to be a snake. Just a couple beautiful, intertwining strings of diamonds hanging from someone's ear.

"I like those," I said quietly. Edward and the man who worked here walked over. He quietly pulled them out, setting them on a piece of black velvet for us to look at.

Edward took one out of the holder and held it up to my ear. The man quietly pushed a mirror in front of us. Even I had to admit it looked beautiful, the bright diamonds shining against my dark hair.

Snakes used to be my thing. People called me a snake for years and then I turned it around and used snakes as my theme of sorts for reputation. I hadn't really thought about it in a long time, but I wouldn't be surprised if the snake name had been picked back up as of late.

"We'll take these," Edward told the man, who quickly started wrapping them up. I couldn't bring myself to look at the price, or listen as Edward handed him his credit card.

As soon as we were back outside I stretched up on my toes and kissed Edward's cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said with a smile that kind of melted me.

The rest of the day passed slowly. We walked through some more shops and Edward spent a while picking out an authentic Swiss army knife for Aiden. We went to dinner and, as promised, there wasn't any fanfare about it being my birthday, which was appreciated.

We were both a little tipsy as we stumbled home. Another perk of being around people that had no clue who I was; I didn't have to pretend to be a recovering addict.

"I have a confession," Edward said, sitting on the large couch in the open living room. He pulled me onto his lap, his hands squeezing my hips.

"Oh, no," I mumbled to myself.

"It's nothing bad. I just have another birthday present for you."

It wasn't often Edward looked genuinely nervous, but he did now so I didn't put up much of a fight as he got up. I straightened myself on the couch, smoothing my dress back down my legs when he disappeared upstairs.

I was sincerely surprised when he walked back in with a guitar in his hands. He sat beside me and situated himself. My surprise turned to shock when he pulled the guitar in his lap.

"What are you – "

"Now, I'm no Grammy winning musician, so you can't laugh."

He started playing and singing and my mind turned to mush.

She's just my type, dark hair wavin' out the passenger side. Then I start to think as she pulls me on the bathroom floor this is my type of thing.

Paranoid cutie with a dark past and it's that type of thing when she feels like the girl next door.

And then I start to think as I lift her on the sink that I've been here before. It's a certain type of thing, she gets bored of everything, not the type you can ignore. Yeah, I just want a taste as she grabs me by the waist as she closes the door. She's taking what she wants, baby, you can have it all.

I was panting, my heart racing in my chest when he was done. His eyes, green and bright and perfect, locked on mine and I didn't know what to do with myself.

"You… wrote me a song?"

Saying it out loud sounded kind of ridiculous. I wrote him hundreds of songs, constantly. But Edward wasn't a musician, and I had never heard him really sing. I'd never even seen him with a guitar in his hands before.

Then, I saw Edward Cullen; the Edward Cullen who never got embarrassed or shy or scared… I saw that Edward Cullen blush. His cheeks were bright pink and not from being overheated or cold or anything else. It was the cutest fucking thing I had ever seen.

"Tried, at least."

"It was amazing," I whispered, my throat closing up on me. "No one has ever written me a song before."

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but this is what you do, Bella. If you can inspire a cold-hearted bastard like me to write a song, think of everyone else you've helped, kids you've inspired."

Edward took a deep breath and set the guitar to the side, pulling me to him so we sat cross legged across from each other on the couch. "I don't want to talk you into anything. If you truly want to retire, retire. I've been trying to get you to relax for years… But don't quit because you think you couldn't do it again."

He grabbed my hands and squeezed. "Because I've watched you survive too damn much to think you couldn't accomplish anything you set your mind to. You never thrive more than when you're challenging yourself, when you're in the middle of proving the entire world they were wrong about you."

The room was silent. I stared at Edward and he stared back at me while I thought about what he said. He was right, of course. I didn't want to retire, but the thought of going through another phase of my life where I was fighting tooth and nail to change everyone's minds again already had me exhausted. And, still, I didn't want to put Aiden through that either.

My mind was being pulled in a million different directions, but I didn't want to think or worry about any of them. Instead, I tentatively asked, "Will you play it for me again?"

He did, over and over until I asked him to take me to bed. His hands were gentle as he slid my dress down my shoulders and laid me on the bed. In a way that only he could, he simultaneously scattered every one of my senses and made everything make perfect sense at the same time.

Dark…

College had never been on my radar, even when I was a teenager. I started acting right around the age most kids started thinking about it, and never looked back. There were actors that took time off and went to college, or worked through school, but I just never had the desire to do that. My job didn't require a higher education, so I saved my thousands of dollars.

There was a certain atmosphere about a college campus, though. It was alive and exciting. Kids were sitting on the grass reading, there was a group of guys tossing a football around, and a couple sitting against a tree just sitting together. I felt like I was in the middle of a romantic comedy.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I missed out on a fun milestone. Then, Aiden sat down at the table across from me, dropping a giant textbook with a thud and I snapped out of my momentary insanity.

Edward and I had been back for a couple of weeks, but we showed up right around midterms so we had only seen Aiden a couple of times. It was weird, knowing he was downtown but not living with us. The few times we've seen him, though, he looked so fucking happy.

He talked about school with a smile for the first time in years, and told us he had joined a fraternity at the beginning of the semester. He talked about going out with friends and finding people that didn't find it weird that he was the son of Hollywood's most hated and Chicago's most feared.

"You beat me here," he said with a smirk.

"I like being punctual." It was a running joke among our family that both Aiden and I were far too concerned about being places on time.

I pulled the book out of my bag, the one he left in his room at home that he needed for his next class. It was that damn criminology class that he insisted on taking. He was set on majoring in business, like his father, but was getting a minor in criminology. It made me more than a little uneasy.

When he called and told me he left this specific book at home, I told myself I wasn't going to look at it, wouldn't get lost in whatever cruel words were written about me inside.

Of course, about ten minutes later I was sitting in my office reading the chapter devoted just to me, titled just the same as the old textbook of Maggie's I saw before. The People v. Isabella Cullen.

Just the title sent a shiver up my spine. The whole ordeal was so long ago, sometimes it felt like it never happened. There were still the mental scars that would never go away, and even a few physical ones. Looking at it now, it all seemed like a living nightmare; like it happened, but it was too horrible to have actually been real.

I read the chapter carefully. I ran my fingers over a picture taken in the courtroom, Edward was sitting behind me looking furious but so, so broken at the same time. There was nothing I had never read before in the text; it was actually more objective than the book of Maggie's I read.

That didn't mean I wanted my son learning about it.

"Have you gone over…"

"This week, actually. I don't want you to freak out or anything, but the Professor is good friends with the Call family and, uh, I guess Embry Call is coming in for a lecture about it."

It was like a punch to the chest, all of the air leaving my lungs and leaving me empty. Call had milked the case for all it was worth after it happened. He wrote a book years ago, while Edward and I were still on the island, about his thoughts on everything. It made him a New York Times Bestselling author, and made me sick to my stomach.

I never read it, not wanting anything to do with that man ever again. I wondered if it was a coincidence that he was coming to Aiden's class to talk about the ordeal, or if he knew what he was doing and was just trying to fuck with me again.

My voice was strained when I asked, "When?"

"Friday. Look, Ma, I don't want you to – "

"Aiden!"

We both looked toward the sound of his name. One of the boys who was throwing a football ran over. He was probably a year or two older than Aiden, with blond shaggy hair and a round face.

He stopped beside Aiden, dropping a hand to his shoulder in greeting. He smiled over at me, and held his hand out. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen. I'm Mark, Aiden's big brother at Phi Delta Theta."

"Oh, it's nice to meet you, Mark," I smiled at him, because so far he seemed like a sweet kid.

"Sorry to interrupt, I just didn't think he'd let me meet you otherwise. He doesn't let many people talk about you."

"Yeah, well, one drunken frat guy coming up to me telling me he wanted to fu- uh, meet you and I learned my lesson about having people talk about you."

I wasn't sure whose cheeks were more red across the table. Mark, though, let out a soft laugh. Not a condescending laugh either, just a relaxed chuckle.

"I did have one other reason for stopping by. My girlfriend is back there, and she's been staring at your back for twenty minutes. She and her mom listened to you her entire childhood, I guess her mom was a big fan and turned her into one. I would win some major boyfriend points if I got you to sign something for them."

"Why didn't she come over with you?"

"Oh, she's mortified that I came over here. Thinks I'm probably annoying you, but I've listened to the girl talk about you since we were sixteen so I had to give it a shot."

That made me smile. "You've been together since you were sixteen?"

The way his face lit up made my heart clench. "Yeah. I somehow snagged Melissa before the rest of the town knew what they were missing out on."

"Which one is she?" I asked, carefully looking back toward the group I knew he came from. There were a couple of girls scattered around the area, some reading against trees, a few even looked like they were asleep.

"She's the gorgeous blonde with blue eyes and about seven books surrounding her."

My eyes landed on her immediately, and as soon as she saw me looking at her she jumped and looked anywhere but at me. A quick glance at Aiden and he nodded, so I got up and walked over.

She was muttering to herself, and it looked like she was trying to pack up all of her books before I got to her.

"Can I sit?" I asked, trying to keep from giggling at the slack-jawed response I got.

"Oh, um, I mean, sure."

I sat down carefully, my back against half of the giant tree she was leaning against. "Your boyfriend's sweet."

She got a similar look on her face that Mark had on his when he was talking about her. "Yeah, he is."

"He said you grew up listening to my music with your mom?"

The ice broke and her face lit up. "Yeah, all the time. She actually met you a few times. Jennifer Michaels? I mean, you probably don't remember her or anything, but she went to a lot of your shows and – "

"Jennifer Michaels is your mother?"

I remembered Jennifer. She ran online accounts dedicated to me and she practically followed me around on tour at nearly every show. I met her a few times, invited her to practically every fan event I had because she was so sweet.

"You remember her?"

"Of course. She went to more shows that I could even imagine. Does she visit you often here?"

"Her and my dad are coming up for my birthday in a few weeks."

"Well, tell Aiden when you're all free and I'd love to take you all to dinner. Do you have any paper?"

She nodded and tore a couple sheets out of a notebook littered with notes. I grabbed a pen from the ground beside her and wrote two letters, one to her and one to Jennifer. We took a quick picture together, one she told me she was going to send to her mother immediately. As I was walking away she ran back up to me and gave me another hug, and my entire decision to retire crumbled around me.

These were the people I worked for, the ones that made all of it worth it. The Jennifer's and Melissa's of the world, the ones that didn't see me for my reputation or use my name as a headline.

Damnit.

I hated it when Edward was right.

Dark…

After I got home from my visit with Aiden, I paced the length of the house over and over, my mind spinning and barely holding on to my resolve to retire. The reasons I thought were solidifying my decision were starting to crumble around me.

That exhaustion I felt with everything had disappeared and was replaced with a burning desire to turn the tables on everyone again. I wanted to see articles go from talking about my failed career to talking about how I didn't back down.

My reputation, while still complete shit, wasn't what mattered. The people I put projects out for mattered.

And Aiden… Aiden looked fucking giddy when we went to lunch, talking about how Melissa always casually threw in song lyrics or movie references of mine when he was around. He put walls up to keep people from talking shit about me and our family, but he seemed to genuinely enjoy all other aspects of what my career brought.

I hated changing my mind, admitting I was wrong. I liked making a decision and sticking to it, but I couldn't stop the rush of adrenaline that shot through me at the thought of not being done. The thought of doing something even though I had no idea what it would be.

Edward walked in with Emmett and Jasper, but they all quickly went up to his office. I moved my pacing to my office to keep his attention off of me, because I still had no idea what I was doing. Maybe this high would taper off in a little bit. My mind would calm down and I would go back to being okay with retiring.

It didn't. As the minutes, hours passed I got more wound up. More determined. More set on making the world finally see that I wasn't done just yet.

It got to a point where every nerve I had felt like it was vibrating and I needed some kind of release. Yes, the thought of worldwide success sometimes got me a little, maybe a lot, aroused.

When I was on tour and Edward was with me, after a show was over I liked to have him help me come down from the adrenaline high, a high I was somehow experiencing from just the thought of doing it again.

I stalked up to Edward's office, cursing to myself when I saw Emmett and Jasper still there, sitting opposite of him.

"Hey. Can I, uh, talk to you for a minute?"

They all frowned at me for a moment, but I didn't care. Edward got up without hesitation and followed me out of the office. I nearly jumped out of my skin when he put his hand on my back to lead me through the bedroom door.

"Are you oka – "

I stopped his question with a kiss, slamming the door closed and locking it quickly. My nails dug into his shoulders and I was so worked up I wanted to cry the second he gave in and wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me to him.

"Bella," he panted, pulling away from our kiss when I refused to even though my lungs were burning.

"We'll be quick, I promise," I stuttered quickly, roughly pulling at his belt, dropping to my knees as soon as his semi-hardened cock was free. I moaned, swallowing as much of him as I could. I didn't understand the women who saw this as a chore, because looking up at Edward when he had his head thrown back and his hands digging in my hair made me feel like the most powerful woman in the world.

After a few minutes of teasing him with my tongue Edward pulled me up, pushing me toward the bed while I wrestled with the button and zipper of my jeans. He turned me around, my back to his front. I took the hint immediately, dropping down on my stomach. My moan was, frankly, embarrassing when a calloused hand ran up my exposed thigh and curved around my ass.

"You have to be quiet."

I nodded, beyond desperate at this point, internally screaming when Edward aligned himself and pushed inside me as slowly as possible.

"Damnit, Edward, fuck me," I grunted, my arms shaking when I squeezed the sheets.

His hips met mine with a smack and I squealed. A moment later his hand covered my mouth and he leaned over me, lips at my ear. "If you're going to pull me out of a meeting for a fuck, you need to be able to be quiet," he said, nipping at my ear.

I nodded, biting down on my lip to keep silent. I nearly cried from relief when he started fast, sharp thrusts. I buried my head in the sheets, Edward's hands moving to my hips to keep both of us steady. Everything was raw and harsh; rough hands squeezing and toes curling.

As promised, it didn't take long for him to get me right on the edge of the release I was so desperate for. Edward's hand slipped underneath me, pushing my shirt up and grabbing at me wherever he could before he managed to pull my bra out of the way and roll my nipple roughly between his fingers.

I gave him no warning when I exploded around him, my ears ringing when it all became too much. My brain was barely able to process the sounds of Edward groaning my name in my ear.

We stayed frozen for a minute, Edward collapsed over me, bent over the bed. He got control of his extremities long before I did, and managed to clean both of us up and get me situated at the top of the bed.

He bent down beside me, smirking at me and brushing my forehead clear of the hair that stuck to my sweaty skin. "I'll get rid of them and be back in a few minutes, okay?"

"Oh, I think I need more than a few minutes to go again."

Edward chuckled and I watched through hooded eyes as he got himself dressed. It didn't take him long, considering I didn't have time to get rid of his shirt. I had priorities, after all.

It would probably be obvious to Emmett and Jasper what he had been doing, thanks to his light sheen of sweat and slightly red cheeks, but I couldn't find it in me to care. My nerves were slightly less scattered and my brain clearer. Everything somehow becoming so obvious to me.

We didn't quit.

Not when people threatened us or when I was shot, not when the world turned their backs on me the first time or when I spent a year in jail. We never gave up when a pregnancy came at us out of nowhere and not once did either of us think of leaving when shit got hard.

We'd been through hell and back, multiple times, but we were still here. If there was one thing I learned from my husband in the years that I knew him, it was that you never went down without a fight.

A/N: Lots to say here… first: Hopeless Kingdom, reputation, and Iare nominated for a few TwiFicFandom awards! Voting ends on the 17th, so you've got a couple days to get some votes in if you want! reputation is up for all-time fic, empire records, and undiscovered gem. Hopeless Kingdom is up for undiscovered gem, and I'm up for newbie author! Whoever put those nominations in for me, you're the sweetest. Thank you!

We've got one more chapter after this (one that I expect to be a giant) and then an epilogue. Can you hear my sobs? See you as soon as I can for our last EPOV!

Just writing that made me want to think of some way to never let this story go, but I've got a couple stories running through my head that I'm super excited about too, and I hope you'll like just as much as this :)

Italicized lyrics in the middle are from Beach House by The Chainsmokers.