Thank you to the beta of this chapter- Born-of-Elven-Blood

Chapter Twenty- The Truth Comes Out Part Two

Severus rose earlier than normal that morning, wanting to talk to Poppy about the apprenticeship program before his first class of the day. He peeked in on a still sleeping Harry and left a note instructing him to eat breakfast before setting off for the infirmary.

The corridors of the castle were quiet with many students still in their dormitories. The Ravenclaw quidditch team was out for early morning practice on the pitch, and Hagrid could be seen moving around outside his hut in the distance. Otherwise the grounds and corridors were deserted. But Poppy had always been a morning person.

"Severus!" she smiled brightly as he swept into the hospital wing. "This is a nice surprise. I wasn't expecting you for a few more days. Finished with the potions I requested already?"

"No, I'm not here about the potions," Severus replied. "I wanted to talk to you about your apprenticeship program."

"Oh! Do you have a candidate in mind?" she questioned eagerly. There had been so little interest this year that she'd been sure the spot would go unfilled, which had been a bitter disappointment. Poppy loved having an apprentice. An extra set of hands meant less day to day grunt work for her. And of course there was the reward of shaping a young mind and all that, but the fact remained that she wasn't as young as she used to be. "One of your Slytherins, perhaps?"

"No, it's Harry."

"Harry?" Poppy said skeptically. "I thought he wanted to become an Auror?"

Severus pursed his lips. "Has the boy ever actually told you so?"

Poppy frowned thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, no. But you know how you hear things around the school."

"Really, Poppy? Gossip?"

"I would hardly call it gossip," she sniffed. "So the boy wants to become a healer then?"

"He has the passion for it, and his potions grades are good enough. I do believe with the right training he could become a great healer."

Severus scowled at the small knowing smirk that formed on Poppy's face when the compliment slipped out. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and snatched up the morning copy of the Prophet from her desk, untying and flipping it open to the front page.

"Well, the spot is open," Poppy mused smugly. She retrieved her wand to conjure the proper forms, gleeful visions of free labor dancing in her head. "If Harry is serious about this then I would love to have him on board. The only thing that concerns me is..."

"I have to go," Severus interrupted, rushing out the door before the startled witch had a chance to reply.

"What in the world…" Poppy wondered, picking up the discarded copy of the Prophet. Her eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, Merlin, no…"

As Severus made his way back to his chambers he noticed students already passing around copies of the Prophet and whispering to each other. By the time everyone made it to the Great Hall for breakfast the whole school would know.

He arrived at his chambers in record time, only to find he was too late. Harry sat hunched on the couch between his useless friends in the throes of a full blown panic attack.

"Move!" he demanded, brushing the two of them aside to maneuver himself behind Harry as he had once before, pressing the boy's back up against his chest so Harry would be able to feel his breathing. "Breathe with me, Harry," he said with a calm he did not feel. "In through the nose, out through the mouth..."

"No...no..." Harry whimpered once he was able to get enough air to speak.

"Harry..." Hermione started, but stopped short when she saw the stern look that her Professor shot her.

"It's alright, just keep breathing." Severus spoke soothingly as he continued to breathe deeply himself. "It will pass."

"No… no, please… just let… me die!" Harry cried. "I… don't… want… to live!"

"You don't mean that, mate," Ron said uncertainly, placing a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder as she fought tears.

"I do! Don't… you see? I… I can't… face… any... more! I… can never… face… anyone… ever again! ...my life… is… OVER!"

"Harry…" Hermione choked pleadingly. "Don't say such…"

"No…" The hunted look on Harry's face became distant, his voice between gasps flat, numb, lifeless, even as he began to struggle against Snape's hold. "Let… me die... or… I'll just… have to… do it… myself! …I will… I have to… no other… way…!"

Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a cry of despair. Unable to contain herself, she turned and ran out of the chambers. Ron lingered a moment longer, looking torn, then muttered a curse under his breath.

"Take care of him!" he told Snape before dashing out after her, the chamber door slamming behind him

It was a testament to the depth of Severus's concern that he didn't even bat an eye at being ordered around by a student.

"Harry, just take some deep breaths," he said softly, dismissing the other two Gryffindors entirely.

"No… stop… let go!" Harry cried as he continued to fight.

Severus clenched his jaw, twisting as Harry kicked and elbowed him ineffectually in the ribs, still gasping raggedy. This wasn't working. The boy wasn't going to calm down on his own.

"Cinsy!" The elf popped in with a squeak of fright, tugging her ears as she took in the sight of the two struggling wizards. "Bring a vial of Calming Draught from my laboratory! Quickly!"

Within seconds Cinsy was back, handing the potion over to her master.

"Thank you," Severus quickly said before flicking the stopper out with his thumb and tipping the bottle against the boy's lips.

Harry gagged as the potion seeped into his mouth, trying to spit it out, but between his body's desperate gasps and Snape's careful but immovable grip on his jaw, several trickles of the liquid dribbled down his throat. Panic flared as his mind flashed between the overwhelming shame of his present reality and horrific memories of paralysis and violation. With a burst of energy born of sheer terror, he twisted out of Snape's restraining grip, landing a glancing blow across the professor's jaw in his desperation to get away. Snape fell back against the cushions with a grunt and reached for his wand, a spell ready on his tongue, but there was no need.

"No, no, no…" Harry cried as his knees seemed to turn to water and buckled under him. Snape was there in an instant, catching him before he could hit the floor. "Please, no…"

"Harry, I'm not going to do anything to you. I'm just going to lay you down on the couch and then I will step away," Severus explained, gently hoisting the boy in his arms and laying him on the couch before stepping back. "You can still move Harry, you're alright. Continue taking deep breaths."

Harry closed his eyes against bitter tears, his fingers digging fiercely into the cushion underneath him as he gave in and concentrated on breathing. After the fifth breath, the rise of his chest became more even and his grip on the cushion loosened.

Rubbing ardently at the bruise rising on his jaw, Severus stepped forward and checked the boy's pules; the potion shouldn't have put him to sleep. Finding it to be slow but steady he took a deep breath himself and tried to figure out his next move.

First he was going to find the person who went to the papers and most likely do something that would land him in Azkaban. This was the last thing Harry needed. They had been getting somewhere at last, but not only were they back to square one, now the boy said he wanted to die. Worse, he had threatened to do it. Worse still, Severus believed him. Even if it was said in the heat of the moment, Severus was no stranger to the power of such dark thoughts. Even if he were not obligated as a Hogwarts professor to take the statement seriously, he'd be a fool not to recognize the danger of ignoring it.

"Watch over him, Cinsy," he wearily instructed the wide-eyed elf. "Please."

Groaning at the whole new dimensions of difficulty that a suicidal Harry Potter was sure to bring to all their lives, Severus left the child with the elf to sleep in peace while he could and trudged to his lab to find something for his aching jaw.