Olivia yawned and closed her eyes, feeling the soothing warmth radiating from Elliot, but then the sheriff's words hit her, and her eyes snapped open.

"Gilbert Murdoch hasn't visited his brother in a year."

Sheriff Gold's voicemail ended shortly after the announcement, but the words echoed in the dark room. Olivia stared at the ceiling, trying to collect her tired thoughts.

Gilbert Murdoch was not in Dallas. Elliot had said that he lived alone in his house that needed renovation and didn't spend time much outside of his home.

So where was he then?

She thought of the dark and gloomy house, its overgrown yard, and the announcement that he had gone to Dallas. Everything made sense. But he wasn't in Dallas. She remembered looking in the window with a flashlight and waiting to see his body. However, nothing had been seen.

The sheriff had announced that they would come to Murdoch's house first thing in the morning, as his worried brother had asked them to check the house. It was completely understandable, as Gilbert was no longer young, and it was entirely possible that he had had a heart attack, for example. If that was the case, judging by the condition of the yard, he had been dead for a long time.

But then she remembered the handwritten note found on the ground, and she frowned. If Mr. Murdoch had died at home, why would he have announced that he had gone to Dallas? Since his brother had no knowledge of his whereabouts, he clearly hadn't even planned to leave, or informed his brother about it.

Maybe he had a new girlfriend. But no one had seen him for a couple of months, it was unlikely that he would be visiting for that long.

Something wasn't right, she knew it even without her detective instincts. And she knew what she had to do.

She had to go to Mr. Murdoch's house.

The police might be coming in the morning, but the ever-growing uncomfortable feeling within her that the children's deaths and Mr. Murdoch's disappearance were connected sent chills down her spine. Despite being tired, she forced herself to sit up, knowing that Mike didn't have time to wait for her to get a few hours of sleep. Also, it was possible that the tornado had messed up the kidnapper's plans, and she might still have time to save him.

Elliot's arm slipped from her waist, and she sighed quietly. He had clearly fallen asleep again, and Olivia turned to look at him. He looked so content, so peaceful with his arm on her lap that it almost made her heart burst with emotions. How much she had dreamed of this, at all those lonely nights when her bed had felt cold, and ominous shadows had danced on her bedroom walls.

She had known she didn't have to be alone. All it would have taken was one night at the bar, and she would have had another person sleeping with her. But the problem had been that she hadn't wanted it. She hadn't wanted anyone else. She had wanted Elliot. She had wanted the one person she couldn't have. And knowing that had made her feel bottomless loneliness.

And then the realization hit her.

She couldn't wake him.

It wasn't anymore that she didn't want to wake him because he looked so content sleeping. It was that she was about to do something that was likely to be dangerous. Something that could endanger her life.

And she couldn't take Elliot with her. No, no matter how much she wanted to. She simply couldn't risk his life, not now that she'd finally gotten him back. Not now that she'd finally had him the way she'd always wanted.

She loved him too much to be able to even think about the possibility of losing him again. This time for good.

Tears clouded her eyes as she got out of bed as carefully as possible. Elliot's hand slid from her lap, taking the warm feeling from inside Olivia at the same time. At the bedroom door, she turned to look at her sleeping ex-partner again, and she knew she was doing something wrong. She knew Elliot would be furious when he realized she had left without him again. She knew that leaving into the dark night was a bad idea, she had already experienced it a couple of days before. She knew that if the killer was in Mr. Murdoch's house, she would need backup.

She knew all this, but deep inside her heart, a more primal voice told her that she couldn't forgive herself if something happened to Elliot. She couldn't lose him again; she knew she wouldn't survive it.

And as she closed the bedroom door quietly, she knew that if protecting Elliot meant it would take her life, she was ready for it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot grunted as something jolted him awake from the soothing embrace of sleep. He didn't understand what it was at first, but then he felt a strange uneasy feeling inside him. He turned on his side, trying to push the feeling away, but turning only made it stronger, and with a groan, he rubbed his eyes. However, without opening them, he tried to remember if something had happened that made him nervous.

They had survived the tornado, Mike was still missing, he remembered himself again. There were enough reasons to feel uncomfortable.

Olivia had kissed him. Olivia was sleeping next to him.

Warmth exploded into his every cell, and he turned over in bed again to wrap his arms around his former partner. He couldn't tell how many times he had dreamed of this. He had dreamed of this even when Kathy had slept beside him; he had closed his eyes, and imagined, hoped that it was Olivia sleeping in his arms. It had been wrong, he had known it, but he couldn't help it. Olivia had always been like a magnet, like a force of nature that had drawn him to her in a way he couldn't explain, or really even understand.

But now he had her, she was sleeping next to him, he didn't have to imagine anymore…

Except she wasn't there.

Elliot's eyes snapped open, and with furious blinking he scanned the dark room. He hoped to see Olivia, wrapped in a blanket, but to no avail. The bed was empty, and the warmth that had filled his body a moment before disappeared as quickly as it had come when he realized the situation.

Olivia was gone.

And at the same moment, a memory crept into his mind. It felt like a dream, but considering the situation, he knew it wasn't.

The demanding sound of Olivia's phone. Sheriff Gold's voice. "Gilbert Murdoch hasn't visited his brother in a year."

No.

No no no no…

The situation was familiar, all too familiar. Distress began to fill his limbs as he jumped out of bed, rushed to the bedroom door, and after glancing around the couch and bathroom, realized that Olivia had once again gone out alone. He cursed, pulled the closest clothes on and grabbed a flashlight from the table. In his other pocket he stuffed the batteries for the flashlights and opened the cabin door.

He knew what he had to do.

And this time, he wasn't going to wait to see if Olivia would make it back to the cabin alive.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia had been walking for about fifteen minutes when her flashlight began to flicker. She patted it against her thigh, and the flickering stopped. She continued walking, but then it turned off completely.

"Shit," she cursed in the dark, and tried to pat it against her leg again, this time getting no response. She swallowed and blinked as she looked around in the darkness. She had known from the beginning that going alone wasn't a good idea, but it was made worse by the fact that she hadn't thought to check if the flashlight's batteries still had power.

The incident from the other night came back to her as she looked down the road, trying to get her eyes used to the darkness. She suddenly felt in her every cell the fear she had felt when she had stumbled her way forward, survival instinct her only guide. The vegetation had hummed in the wind as it did now, the bushes had rustled, and fear began to squirm through her veins like a rattlesnake. Tears filled her eyes, and she crouched on the ground.

"Your last chance."

Cragen's words echoed around her, as if carried around by the wind. But then she heard other words too:

"I remember that I love you too."

And suddenly she realized why Cragen had considered separating them a few years ago. He had said she and Elliot were too close, but she hadn't understood it at the time. But now she did. She understood better than ever what it meant for them to choose each other over the job.

And at the same time, she realized that even if Elliot returned to work, returned to SVU, they couldn't be partners anymore. She loved him too much to watch as he risked his life for the victims. She loved him too much to watch crazy criminals point guns at him, hurt him…

Tears rolled down her cheeks, but then she froze. She heard footsteps. Running steps. Holding her breath, she straightened her back, prepared to run, but she didn't have time to do anything when a dark figure appeared from around the bend, the light of the flashlight dazzled her eyes, and then the figure almost collided with her. At the last moment, he managed to dodge but slipped on the grassy road and fell with a splash into the ditch on the side of the road. This gave Olivia time, she got to her feet and was about to run, but then a familiar voice sounded from the bottom of the ditch:

"Damn it!"

She stopped, slowly turned around and asked quietly:

"Elliot?"

And then a familiar figure stumbled up from the ditch, flashlight still in hand, clothes dripping with water, and even in the darkness Olivia could see his eyes blazing. Despite his anger, relief swept over her like a tidal wave, and her knees almost buckled. But then Elliot took a step forward, his stifled voice shaking with rage as he asked:

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

And that's when Olivia knew it was time for the conversation she had been avoiding for 12 years.