CHAPTER 5


Belle POV

Once the boys managed to wake and rally from the night before, they decided we had to go out for lunch. I still didn't have much of an appetite, but I decided to tag along anyway instead of sitting at home. Harlow, Opal, and I spent the majority of the time barely picking at our food while the guys devoured plate after plate. It took everything within myself not to be sick while watching them. With the exception of Oliver, the dynamic duo of Logan and Christopher were carrying on a full conversation with mouths full of food. Typical. Opal hit her breaking point when Logan started performing walrus impersonations with two straws dangling from his nose.

"Logan!" she screeched at him, "That is absolutely disgusting. I swear if you don't take those damn straws out of your nose I'm leaving!" Opal just glared over at him, and continued to do so until he finally lamented and removed the stupid straws.

I was about to add in my own comment about his behavior as well, when my phone started buzzing across the table. I picked it up and peered down at the notification. Dimitri. I actually hesitated for a moment before opening it. I hadn't heard a word from him since he'd left early this morning, and I just knew there was no way he hadn't seen Alec's message. I just sincerely hoped it wasn't an I-had-a-great-time-but-I-just-can't-right-now text. But I truly couldn't even blame him if it was.

I bit the bullet and swiped down on the screen.

I'm off in a couple hours. Just got on break for a little bit.
Will I get to see you again today?
-Dimitri

I smiled despite myself, and let out a breath of relief I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. It wasn't like I was in love with this guy or anything, but he was kind, thoughtful, and absolutely scrumptious. Just the kind of distraction I needed in my life to keep me from any more stupid decisions.

Glad to know you're still alive. Lol.
And, yes! Just let me know when you're off work.
We'll plan something.
-A.

I typed my message out quickly and hit send.

"Ohhh la la. Looks like Belle got a text from lover boy." Harlow crooned from across the table, her eyebrows moving up and down suggestively.

"Oh quit it, Harlow. He's not really a lover boy. More like a cuddle boy, if you want to get technical. Nothing happened." I said, tossing a balled up napkin in her direction, which bounced off her nose. My face had already begun turning red. She always thought it was so much fun to tease me. But she already knew the truth. Dimitri was a good man. And he didn't take advantage of me. Not like Alec had. I think what hurt the most was the fact that Alec knew I'd never had sex before. It was my first time. He'd stolen that from me and all I had left were little bits and pieces here and there.

What irked me lately though, was his constant need to overanalyze and judge every facet of my daily life. My actions. My decisions. My company. I was nearly 23. I had the right to do as I pleased without answering to anyone. I could bring a million guys home and sleep with them if I truly wanted to. Of course that's not what I wanted. But if that were what I wanted…it wouldn't be his place to comment on it. I just wanted something genuine. Someone genuine. Someone to share that most precious moment with when the time eventually came. Now that I'd lost that moment and it had been unceremoniously stomped on I had to shift my focus. This time I was going to make certain that the next guy was genuine and passionate, and that we at least cared deeply about each other before things went too far.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts just in time to see the rest of the gang getting up to pay the cashier. It looked like the men had decided to split the bill. Good. Since they practically ate enough for a small country.

The ride home was basically just a blur, and I couldn't seem to keep myself out of my own thoughts that kept drifting back to last night. I smiled to myself and rested my head against the back passenger side window of Logan's jeep. Opal and Logan dropped us off at the house and said their goodbyes before heading back to their own place.

This was exactly the situation I hated being in the most in this house. Harlow and Christopher all over each other in the living room. A movie playing in the background while Oliver and I were left to be the third and fourth wheels. I looked over at Oliver who was already staring back at me; clearly thinking the same thing. He just shrugged and climbed the stairs up to his room. I sighed and pulled out my phone to check for messages. None.

I followed Oliver's lead and ran up the stairs to my own room. I pulled off the jeans I had thrown on this morning and traded them for a pair of jean shorts. The weather outside had considerably warmed up since the early hours of the day. I then swapped my long sleeve shirt for a white tank top and an off-the-shoulder yellow baggy shirt. I pulled my hair up into a loose pony tail and assessed myself in the mirror. That's as good as it's gonna get. I gave myself one last look in the mirror before making my way back downstairs. Harlow and Christopher were still making out on the couch.

A walk to the bookstore was definitely next on the agenda. I needed out of the this house. I really just needed a little space of time by myself, and there was no better place for that than our local library. I grabbed my purse and slipped on my tennis shoes, closing the door quietly behind me. It hadn't been walking for long before I was pulled back into my own thoughts. I just had so much to think about, and no one to really talk to.

Harlow was a good friend. The best actually. But how was I supposed to talk to her about my problems with her brother? I didn't want to drive a wedge between the two of them. And if I was being blatantly honest with myself I would have to admit that I missed Alec too. Not the Alec from that night, but the Alec that was my best friend. If things hadn't played out how they had I would have already been calling him to gush over Dimitri and spill my guts. Our friendship was ruined. I couldn't talk to him about anything, let alone stuff about guys.

I tried so hard throughout our friendship to make sure I didn't become one of the statistics when it came to Alec Tiers. There were so many of them. Blondes. Brunettes. Red heads. So many. Admittedly, back in high school I did have a bit of a crush on Alec Morgan Tiers. It was enough for me to just be near him back then. Even if that meant watching him with girl after girl. And as his friend; I couldn't fault him for it. It's how he'd been since I could remember. Never fully satisfied and on to the next one.

Everything got better once Oliver and I began dating. Things got easier. I could meet Alec's eyes without feeling awkward for crushing on my best friend. And honestly Oliver was nearly the perfect boyfriend. If only we could have seen each other as more than just friends…maybe things would have played out differently for me. But there was no carnal physical attraction between Oliver and I. No passion. It only took about six months for us to decide we'd be better off as friends, and luckily for us we were able to fall back into that routine as if nothing had ever happened.

But it was useless to hope that Alec and I could do the same. Useless to talk about what had transpired between the two of us that night. A night that I looked back on in regret, and he just looked at it as another night that he took a girl to bed. I hated him for that. For treating me that way. And he never once contradicted it. Once he started to use the same cocky attitude on me like he did with every other girl he'd taken to bed… I knew we were past repair. It made my stomach turn over just thinking about it.

I'd finally made it to Bookends, our local bookstore, and the door bell jingled as I pushed it open. I leafed through book after book, not really finding anything of interest. Feeling defeated, I went to my usual place and plucked Wuthering Heights off the shelf. I sank down into one of the many reclining chairs provided for browsers and flipped the book open to chapter seven. Ah, the chapter where Heathcliff admonishes Cathy for no longer being the girl he once knew. I almost laughed at myself. Heathcliff is such a beautiful monster, and Cathy reminded me a lot of myself in some ways. I think most girls could relate to the adolescent transformation.

I had read this book so many times, but I'd never actually purchased it. This novel. This place. This was my safe place. Where I'd escape to when things had become overwhelming. Which is why I cursed under my breath when I saw a familiar head of copper colored hair just above the shelf before me. Just great, I groaned internally. There was no way he wasn't going to see me. So there was no point in trying to avoid it.

"Must you always ruin my day?" I sigh, just as Alec rounds the corner. His eyes fall on me, surprise and confusion coloring his features.


Alec POV

My heart nearly stopped when I heard her voice coming from the other side of the bookcase. Belle and I often use to come to this bookstore when we would hang out. We'd just sit and read in silent, sometimes making a remark here or there, but mostly we would sit in a comfortable silence. I don't know why I had expected anything to be like how it was back then, and as I rounded the corner, I knew it wouldn't be.

Belle's lips were pressed into a thin line, the annoyance plain on her face. She had her long brown hair pulled back into a loose pony tail. Typical. Her large brown doe eyes fell on me, and they held their usual disdain that seemed to be permanently fixed there these days.

"Guns down!" I scoffed, as I leaned against the bookshelf. She rolled her eyes and flipped the page of her book, readjusting her attention on the novel. I watched as she crossed one leg over the other and my eyes were immediately drawn to her thin ankles and slowly moved their way up the slightly tanned skin until the hem of her shorts came into view

Belle cleared her throat, and my eyes found her again. It was almost painful. She was so horribly beautiful. I stood in silence for a moment. I had never noticed how essential she was to my life and happiness until she was gone. I'd made the worst mistake of my life taking her to bed. If I knew this is how things would work out I would have never done it. I thought things would have fallen into place afterwards. We would finally admit our feelings to each other and just be together. After nearly ten years and the long line of girls I'd used to distract myself…she would finally be mine. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I had just opened my mouth to say something when her phone began screaming from her pocket. Her call was brief and she got up swiftly replacing her novel and collecting her things. My eyes followed her until I realized she was heading for the door.

"Where are you running off to?" I asked her, my tone perhaps a bit too harsh.

"I'm going to meet Dimitri, not that it's any of your business."

Her response was like a punch to the gut as she walked through the exit doors, the bells jingling slightly reaffirming her departure.

"Dammit." I hissed under my breath. But my eyes drifted to the novel she'd slid back onto the shelf. I recognized the cover. I would have known it anywhere. It was her favorite novel, and one we'd sat and talked about for hours one summer. I let out a hollow laugh and shook my head at the ridiculousness of it all. Maybe she was the Cathy to my Heathcliff. Maybe I was destined to watch her love another from a distance until our then again, I was never one to put much stock in talk of destiny. And that was one that I just couldn't accept.