Chapter Twenty:
Fire
Jack woke up with Hiccup's name on his lips. He knew he loved the other boy, but in that particular day, the warm feeling bolted across his chest, and even though it hurt, it felt sweet. Love is a good feeling to hold on to, he thought. He closed his eyes again, and just focused on how a few days ago, when the shadows screamed inside him again, how before he could run from Hiccup, the boy held him close. Just hugging him and trapping Jack on that embrace. Jack never commented on it, but he never forgot the feeling. The warmth, and above all, the scent. Hiccup smelled like grapes and woods. There was the smell of shampoo that emanated from his auburn hair, but the strongest came from the skin at the boy's chest and neck, where Jack buried his nose in the crook and just allowed himself to flavour that moment.
Three taps threw him out of his thoughts.
"You better wake up, showpony." Aster spoke. "Everyone's leavin' today."
"I'm not goin'" Jack grunted, trying to fall back asleep, and he was nearly succeeding when he felt a jet of cold water splashing on his face. "ACK" He yelled, shaking himself to get rid of the coldness. "What was that for?!"
Aster laughed. "You ge' ticked off too easily." He said, shaking his wand to get it rid of the water. "Come on, we'll all be stayin'. Me, Astrid, and Hiccup…" He slowed down the last name, and a creepy smirk crept up his lips.
"Ugh, piss off," Jack frowned, getting up and walking up to his trunk.
"You say that, but no point in hidin' the obvious."
"And what's obvious, may I ask?" Jack looked annoyed.
"You like him." Aster said. Hearing this didn't even bother Jack anymore. He knew exactly how he couldn't hide it from Aster anymore. "It's like… ridiculously obvious by now."
"Yeah, I know." Jack answered, sorting his clothes. "But it's stupid just the same."
"What would give you that idea?" Aster asked, and his eyebrows were cocked in confusion.
"I mean, he doesn't even like me." Jack kept trying to get his damp head through the hole of his shirt. "We're boys, and I doubt Hiccup is gay in the first place."
"Have you tried askin'im?" He said, smugly.
"One does not ask this kind of thing, Aster." Jack smirked, forgetting how the other boy had just woken him up. "Besides, he'd probably just mock at me. We'd never talk again. I rather keep things as they are."
"How can you be so sure?" Aster said. "I hate to bring you the truth, but ever considered that he may like you too?"
Jack froze. The idea of Hiccup ever liking him back sounded simply ridiculous. Okay, they were good friends, if not best friends by this point, and they would hug sometimes and all, but the idea of Hiccup being gay for Jack or returning his feelings was too good to be true. Things were never that good for Jackson Overland, he knew that, and therefore it could not be true.
"It just won't happen, Aster." Jack said, with finality. "Let's get going, I'm starving."
The Great Hall was buzzing with students trying to get their last free meal before taking the Hogwarts Express back to London. Christmas was only a few days away, but no one seemed to be particularly cheering. When Jack saw Astrid, his heart sank. The girl had to stay for this Holiday. Her parents never came home.
Hiccup had his arms locked with the girl's, and they seemed to support each other. Both wearing dark jeans and muggle clothing, you would never believe it they would be this close if you saw how Astrid used to think of the boy.
"Hey," Hiccup said, quietly.
"Hey." Jack replied. "Are we going to do something today?"
"I was thinkin' of goin' to the Quiddditch Field later?" Aster suggested, and Astrid nodded, giving a sad smile.
After breakfast, the four teens made their way through the nearly desert castle. The aurors seemed happier at the entrances that day. Perhaps the lack of people to pay attention seemed to cheer them up.
Jack grabbed the four broomsticks from the Quidditch arsenal supply. It had been a while since he would not mount a broom in Hogwarts. Hiccup reached for his pocket, releasing the small Toothless that flew freely around them as they lifted from the ground, mounted in their brooms. They divided in two groups, Jack with Astrid, and Aster with Hiccup. Mostly throwing the Quaffle from one side to the other. Astrid could fly effortlessly on a broomstick, and Hiccup was incredibly good, so they were well balanced.
Eventually Quidditch turned into a tag game, were Aster became the chaser. It was a glorious day, the four teens flying and eventually laughing whenever someone would be caught, and then started chasing the others. Even with the snow, the sunlight glimmered over them, bathing the day in gold and red colours. Jack laughed as Astrid caught Aster, nearly throwing him off his broom, and while the white haired boy laughed, Hiccup looked up at him. His hair seemed to glow, the strands spiked up by the wind, and his pearl white smile just seemed too beautiful. Hiccup took a mental picture, just savouring that moment, until the blue eyes locked on his, still smiling. His very eyes were smiling.
"Are we interrupting something?" Aster screamed from where he was floating. The scene of the two boys lost in one another was simply too obvious for no one else to look at.
Hiccup shook his head, untangling himself from that moment, before racing back to chase Astrid once Aster tagged him. Jack was blushing furiously, although he was still smiling as he observed Hiccup cross the field after the blonde girl. Aster flew up next to him, stopping shoulder by shoulder.
"Why don't you tell him?" The boy spoke. Hiccup and Astrid were far enough not to listen, laughing their heads off as they flew. "He likes you." He said, and this sudden warmth filled Jack's chest. "And you like him too."
Jack's eyes still chased Hiccup, the reddish-brown hair pulled up behind by the wind as he flew in full speed. "I love him, Aster." Jack said, and he realised it was the first time he acknowledged that to anyone. Perhaps even to himself.
Aster smiled. He felt proud of Jack, if the word was fitting. "Just let me know when you do it." He said, before tapping Jack on his shoulder. Then he flew away, laughing into a glorious morning.
#
The holidays went as holidays should be: a rush of laughter and joy. No unwanted memories rose back to surface for more than they should. The four teens spent their days doing exactly as they pleased, and they did not at all bother with White's presence.
When Hiccup came down the marble staircase to the Great Hall, everything felt out of place. He didn't notice the thousands of enlightened candles or the choirs of the ghosts that wished Merry Christmas to whoever they met. Astrid, Jack and Aster were already on their table, casually chatting while Hiccup approached.
"Hey, Hiccup." Aster said, his face more cheering than usual. "Merry Christmas." He announced, raising his hand to shake Hiccup's.
"Merry Christmas you too." The boy said, squeezing Aster's before sitting right next to Astrid, who gave him a quick hug over one shoulder. "How are you?" He asked the girl.
"I'm doing okay." She said, but her voice seemed deeper than usual. "All things considered."
"It's going to be alright." Jack said from his seat, and the girl nodded. "Let's not pity ourselves too much, it's Christmas!" He cheered, throwing a small piece of bread towards Hiccup's face, which the boy retaliated with one of his waffles.
"Have you guys gotten anything?" Hiccup asked.
"Our presents were in our common room." Aster replied, taking a sip from his cup. "Mom sent me 'dis," He raised a small snow globe with what seemed to be a plastic farm inside. "She has a thing for snow globes, my mom."
"I found it cool." Hiccup said with a small grin. "My dad sent me more books." He cocked his brows.
"Nerd." Jack said behind his cup, but also smiling.
"Don't be so pouty." Astrid announced. "We both know we're probably not getting anything from out there this year."
"Well, I never get anything from anyone." Jack commented, and even through his cheerful grim, Hiccup felt a sharp pain crossing his chest. Then Jack smirked. "I'm kinda used to it."
"Well, I sent you all presents." Hiccup said, and Astrid smiled. "How did you like it?" He asked the girl. He had given her a silver chain that she had wrapped up around her wrists.
"I love it, thank you." She said, and there was real emotion on her voice.
"Thanks for the sweets, Hiccup." Aster spoke. "Too bad I have Jack as a roommate, I'm gonna gave to hide'em away from'im."
"Hey, I'm not that bad!" Jack complained, and Hiccup laughed at the silliness. "Come on, we've got an entire day to spend and I don't plan on wasting it here." The boy said, jumping to his feet as he stuffed his mouth with a toast, nearly running out to the snowy grounds.
Christmas was the most pleasant day ever, in Hiccup's mind. The four teens would sneak outside and play snowball wars, Jack teaming up with Aster against Hiccup and Astrid – and eventually lose to Astrid's fierce arm. The laughter would break out in the snowy fields, and while Aster still stuck by gathering snow with his bare hands, Hiccup waved his wand, charming the snow into perfect spheres before casting them to chase the other teens one by one. "Not fair!" Jack would yell, and Hiccup would laugh it off. It was a perfect moment, the auspicious smell of snow and pinewoods as the four friends would laugh through their holiday, any worries forgotten for at least that little while. It was all so precious. And it was just enough.
At night, while Astrid and Aster would excuse themselves to the Gryffindor Common Room, Jack waited a little longer with Hiccup. "I'll catch you guys in a bit." He said, and Astrid nodded before turning on her heels.
"I don't really want the day the end." Jack said, a small smile forming on his lips.
"Me neither." Hiccup answered, shrugging. "I was actually considering to ignore curfew."
"How rebellious of you." Jack commented with an amused expression. "We still have a few minutes. Want to go for a walk?" And he offered his arm, which Hiccup took a second glance before chaining with his elbow.
"I'd love to."
The seventh floor was the place they went most often, and Hiccup leaned against their window when they finally stopped. "I thought Astrid wouldn't be as cool as she was today."
"What you mean?" Jack asked.
"You know, with her parents and all…" Hiccup looked down.
"Oh, right," He commented. "Yeah, she seemed alright."
"I haven't given you your present yet." Hiccup nearly spilled the words. "I didn't really know how to give you."
"What is it?" Jack asked, sounding suddenly excited.
Hiccup's hand went up to his coat, bringing back a small black string with a simple bronze circle tied to it. His hands brushed Jack's as he gave it to him, and the boy inspected it closely, realising what it was. Moon craters were sculpted in the circle, and it seemed to darken into nearly complete blackness on one edge, as if shared right in the middle. The two sides of the same thing. "Do you like it?" Hiccup asked.
Jack suddenly put the necklace back on Hiccup's hands, and the boy shortly look confused before the taller teen bent himself lower, still looking at Hiccup with his icy blue eyes, smirking. Smiling back, Hiccup placed the string around the boy's head, gingerly putting the necklace on Jack. "I'm taking that as a yes." He chuckled.
"It's a definite yes." Jack replied, pulling Hiccup in for a hug. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Hiccup said, hugging Jack back promptly, and smiling a bit, before realising the other boy was not letting go. And apparently, neither was he for both boys kept stuck on that hug for what felt like minutes.
"Sorry I didn't get you anything," Jack said lowly to Hiccup's ears. "I didn't have much chance to sneak out to Hogsmead this month."
"It's okay." Hiccup said. In reality, Hiccup didn't buy the necklace, he had made it himself, but he didn't care about not getting a present from Jack. After a while they stepped away, both boys blushing to their ears. "Merry Christmas, Jack."
As if on cue, the boy looked up just then, noticing the all too familiar green branches with small white berries hung above them. "You gotta be kidding me, right?" He said, uneasy, fearing to look down – until he saw Hiccup's face again. There was that mysterious smirk again, eyebrows screwed in amusement and questioning.
"You don't have to, if you don't want to." He replied simply, and the boy surprised himself with what he had just said. Jack just remained quiet, too stunned to say anything else. "Unless you do want to…" He lingered to say as Jack remained with a shocked expression, quickly going back to active.
"No, I mean…" Jack rushed to explain himself.
"So you don't want to." Hiccup stated simply, the smirk still present.
"I do, I…" Jack got tangled in the mess this situation had turned to, and his heart stopped at the things he was saying without thinking. Damn you, Hiccup. "I mean, do you?"
He looked at the freckled boy, who only chuckled to himself, just enough awkwardly, just enough confidently. Damn you, Hiccup, indeed. Before the boy could embarrass himself any further, Hiccup leaned in, making the move himself. Jack's heart stirred, anticipation exploding in his stomach as the weightless feeling took over. Hiccup was going to kiss him, he was leaning in to him, lips pursed, the freckles on his cheeks so close…
Hiccup landed the kiss on his cheek. And just as fast as it happened, it was over, he pulled away, smiling at the scene of a flustered Jackson Overland. "It's just me, mate. No one's even looking." He laughed.
And just like that, he walked away, leaving behind a terribly frustrated and stunned Jack. "Ain't you coming?" He called as the boy remained unmovable.
#
The very next day, the four teenagers fuelled their packs with HoneyDukes' snacks, dressing in thick winter cloths and ventured to the Black Lake. The ice covered the surface of the water like smooth dark glass. Jack and Aster skated happily, aiming harmless tarantalegro jinxes on each other – Jack's legs were cast dancing in a weird twisted motion that oddly resembled Hiccup of a graceless deer. From a rock at the margin of the lake, Astrid and Hiccup watched the other two boys fooled on the ice, their hands holding steaming mugs of tea.
"When are you telling him?" Astrid whispered, somewhat breaking the tension. Hiccup shrunk on his seat.
"Probably never." He replied, puffing his cheeks. "Although I nearly kissed him last night."
Astrid's neck snapped when she turned at him, the most surprised smile on her face. "You're kidding." She teased, and Hiccup didn't even bother to look at her, his eyes glued to the snowy forest ahead of them. "How did that go?"
"Well, the typical got stuck under the mistletoe. He got nervous, so I decided to see if it lead anywhere."
"And?" It was one the rare real smiles the girl gave lately.
"It was just a kiss to his cheek. Nothing much." He said simply.
"How did he react?" Astrid asked, still curious. The boy shrugged.
"He just stood there like a scared daft rabbit." He spat, and it took a moment before the two friends started laughing, loudly. "It was quite comical." He sipped from his mug of steaming tea.
"Jack can be quite daft sometimes." She mentioned. "But I'm surprised you actually made a move yourself." She nudged Hiccup's shoulders, and the boy smirked.
"I just figured, what harm could it make anyways…" He trailed off in thoughts. "But again I didn't make anything too clear."
"You do well." She concluded. "Live a little."
It was 31st of December. That night Jack left his dormitory silently, sneaking out to the corridors, dodging from whomever ghost he found until he met Hiccup. The boy quickly taught him how to perform Arresto Momento, and through Jack's fear and excitement won as they jumped, without screaming as the spell held them before they crashed against the ground.
Sneaking into the Forest at night was worthy of expulsion, but so was most of whatever the boys did nowadays. As they sped up in the woods, they heard the faint sound of centaurs at distance. Silently, the boys sped up the well-known way to the Cove, reaching the stone entrance and them releasing Toothless from Hiccup's pocket. Jack lightened up the Cove with a flick of his wand, releasing the bright focus of light to float away over the pond.
"Essentio!" Jack casted the spell, and Toothless grew.
"Come on, I've been wanting to show you this for a long time!" Hiccup said, grabbing Jack by his hand – the butterflies in Jack's stomach went wild. Hiccup pulled the boy until they were standing next to Toothless, who gave a loud purr as he petted the dragon. "Go on, hop up!" Hiccup said, and Jack's face paled.
"What?" Jack nearly stuttered. "No, wait up…"
"Just go," Hiccup rolled his eyes before kicking himself up at Toothless back, and the dragon seemingly paid him no mind, if anything it widened its large green eyes to check out Hiccup's legs around his large torso. "I've been practicing this when you couldn't come along," He admitted, a bit ashamed of not including Jack on those trips.
"Merlin's beard…" Jack stammered. "You do realise this is actually insane, right?" He tried forcing a nervous smile, but Hiccup replied with a real grim.
"Yeah," He nodded, his hand rubbing Toothless scales.
Jack's eyes focused back on the fire breathing creature in front of him, taking a deep breath before pulling himself upwards, gingerly not to disturb Toothless. "Oh man…" he shook his head as he settled himself behind Hiccup, who amusedly looked at him.
"Not that hard, was it?" He said, and Jack rolled his eyes at the insanity of it. "Alright, hold on tight."
"Hold on to wha-?!"
"Let's go, Toothless!" Hiccup announced, and the dragon bent down once before opening its wings in a way both graceful and intimidating, and then they were catapulted towards the sky, Jack's arms wrapped around Hiccup's waist, yelling as they were shot upwards.
There was this unexplainable feeling about flying. How this weightless sensation erased any and every thought from your mind. How your body seemed to lose itself in space. Icy cold wind would cut through their bodies, and horrible shivers shook up both boys spines. Jack screamed, but the roaring wind seemed to twist the sound, and Hiccup laughed at the foolishness. They had just begun.
Through the starred sky, Toothless would spin and twirl, roar and bounce as they interchanged between radical dives and smooth slides on their flight. Hiccup would laugh, and once Jack got used to the extremity of their conditions, he joined along, his arms swinging forward until they laced around the boy's torso more carefully not to crush his ribs. There was magic on their flight, this feeling of being so high up that their problems were miles beneath them.
"Calmer now?" Hiccup finally asked once he felts Jack's arms warm up around his torso. Jack only nodded, his chin resting on Hiccup's collarbone.
Hiccup felt the butterflies on his stomach – those were different from the flight ones, those were warmer and filled not his body, but his heart. It was an intimate moment between two friends, full of feelings, but blossoming with complicity.
"I guess that's a way to overcome fear of heights." Jack muttered, and Hiccup chuckled.
"Don't tell me you are afraid." He said in a mocking tone.
"Bloody hell, Hic." Jack squeezed the boy tighter, and with a definitive move, Hiccup's hand flew down to meet Jack's just above his stomach. Ice and fire colliding.
"This is… magical." Jack said, his cheeks blushing, but Hiccup could not see that. "I mean... It's... it is, isn't it?" He babbled, and Hiccup had to laugh at the awkwardness.
"It is." Hiccup said. "I feel happy when I'm up here." The boy pressed himself tighter against Jack's frame. Beneath them, Toothless gurgled, as if trying to add to the conversation.
"I don't know about happy," Jack smirked, still blushing to his ears. "But definitely free."
Hiccup chuckled. "Aren't they somewhat the same?"
"Not really." Jack said. "But they do walk hand-in-hand often."
The smaller boy turned his head back, so he was staring right through Jack's eyes, but the night was so dark, that even the white flecks of hair and the shining blue eyes seemed misty and blurry for him.
"You can be quite deep sometimes." He mentioned, and he could feel Jack's breathing. He spoke softly, "Isn't happiness the way to freedom or vice-versa?"
"I used to think that too." Jack admitted. "But I'm more prone think that it's the other way around."
"Why so?" Hiccup wondered.
"Happiness lies in the moment, Hiccup."
"Oh, now it feels deeper." The boy said, and the wind was starting to pale on them as they flew so high on the clouds, but still never nearing the castle's shield.
"Happiness is just one aspect of the whole." Jack said. "Like your favourite season. You may love autumn, but winter comes nonetheless. There are more emotions, and we need them as well. We're not meant to live in one thing forever."
"Like happy?" Hiccup asked, annoyed.
"Too much happiness make us blind. And blindness makes us lose freedom." The words left the pale boy's lips so softly that they seemed to hit Hiccup like arrows. "I thought you'd be the one to see that more easily."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Because you've know pain." Jack's words were not destructive, but calm. "And hurting makes you alert."
There was a heavy silence. "What if I had enough of hurt?" Hiccup spoke, and even if he could barely see Jack in the night, Jack could see him just perfectly. His green eyes were watered, and the small fold between his eyebrows gave away how honestly he meant his words. Jack's hands held tighter on Hiccup's waist, his thumb rubbing on the skin between his clothes.
"It's just for a moment." Jack whispered.
Realising their closeness, Hiccup blushed, and it felt like the sky went a hundred shades darker as Hiccup's flushed face seemed to light up in the sky, floating with no boundaries. Completely free.
He looked away.
"Happy New Year, Hiccup." Jack whispered again, pressing harder on the boy's stomach. Hiccup looked back at him, his lips slightly apart. And before the other boy could say anything else, he leaned in for his lips. The kiss was so sudden, and Jack thought for an instant that he went too far when Hiccup leaned back into him, kissing him just as eagerly, locking his lips, his chest burning like pure raging fire.
