A/N: EDIT: Made some tweaks to the chapter by popular demand. Hope you enjoy~!

Took some time away to reassess the direction of this story...and to make longer chapters of course.

Regardless, I can confidently say this chapter's much, muuuch longer than the last one. 3k is going to be the LEAST amount of words I write per chapter these days. Don't wanna make a chapter any shorter than that, else it might feel like I'm rushing. Which I'm not; I'm busting my butt over here trying to keep the quality steady.

Sadly, the pain in my back is becoming rather...distracting, of late.

As ever, the Embers rule still persists. If folks don't like this story? Well...I'll not continue it. I can't bear to write something no one likes. That's no joke. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! I'm literally working every day now, so I have less and less time to write. Daily updates might...slow down in the interim, but I know that would upset a lot of people.

Now for your questions, comments, and concerns. Got a few to address this time around. Fee free to skip this if you like.

Q: No more short chapters!

A: Easy for you to say, that is! Yoda impressions aside, I'm trying to make longer chapters, but those take time. Case in point, I used my two days off -vacation- to polish Untraveled Road and that was nearly 10K as a result. But I don't always have time to do that.

Back/leg pain doesn't help.

Two jobs keep me zipping all over the bloody place.

Gotta make ends meet. Work is at an all time crunch right now. No more days off for awhile.

Q: Update schedule?

A: Shed no Grace on Me should be updated tomorrow. Ideally, I'd like to update the following afterward; Strike a Match, Archon, Rise of a Beast Hero, Doctor of Demons, and What Could Have Been after that, somewhat in that particular order.

Q:...is Naruto ever going to get off Menagerie? Will the White Fang be founded?

A: Yup. To both questions. Won't say when just yet.

Q: More Ghira! Let him have a drinking buddy?

A:...that is an odd request, but hey, Ghira was always meant to take a bigger role in this story. We just didn't get to see much of it.

Q: Can we have some more laidback chapters, you know, a chance for everyone to bond?

A: Well, we haven't really had any big battle scenes yet, have we? Be assured, those are all but written, its just a matter of getting to 'em.

Alright, I think I've kept you long enough. Hopefully this chapter brings a smile to your face.

As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. Not a wit or a one! Really, they're just tributes...

And once more, a reminder. Anna = Adam's Mother. Alesia = Illia's Mother. Sienna and Kali are obvious. Now then, away we go!

"Advice, you say? You've come to the right place...

~A Future Scene.

A Festive Monster

...that's quite the fascinating tale."

Naruto buried his head into the counter. "Ghira, buddy, you don't know the half of it."

He couldn't see the man's face, not from this angle, but he heard the faint noise of surprise he made. "You mean there's more?"

"Yup." he leaned back, smacked his lips, and kicked both feet up onto the bar. "Helluva lot. I haven't even gotten to the part where I fought and sealed a crazy goddess in the moon." He heard a bottle pour. Another glass slid across the bar. He caught and knocked it back it without looking.

...you don't mean our moon, do you?"

He set the glass down with a mighty guffaw. "Nah, we made our own moon and locked her in it. Could tell you the rest if you let me hide out here a little longer."

Left unspoken was his silent plea. Please let me hide.

Not forever, and not for long mind you, he just needed a place of refuge to cool his head and gather his thoughts awhile. Running an island was damn hard! What Menagerie might lack for basic infrastructure for the time being, it more than made up for in its people. So many people! Dozens of Faunus, all looking to him as their lord, their leader, their god. More trickled in by boat everyday, looking to him for leadership. If he hadn't already revitalized the barren desert they would've had a very real housing crisis on their hands.

According to Amitola, if things continue apace they would fish nearby waters out by the end of the year; which meant importing food and goods from elsewhere, and that was a whole 'nother can of worms! How did one negotiate with other kingdoms? Did they count as a fifth now? Was that a thing?

Aaaargh!

In short, diplomacy was hard, Naruto was tired, and if he didn't get another drink soon, he was going to punch someone.

"Tempting as that may be," Ghira shook his head, "I can't let you squirrel yourself away forever. The people here look to you for leadership. What will they say if their leader hides all day?"

Naruto clutched his glass like a lifeline. "...that he's nocturnal?"

The gentle giant crossed both arms before his broad chest. "We can speak plainly here. I won't betray your trust. Tell me what's wrong."

"In short?" Naruto felt his right eye begin to twitch. "I'm terrified. Why does it have to be me? I don't wanna be in charge."

Ghira was silent for a long moment. And then: "You're afraid of making mistakes." It wasn't a question.

A nod. "Took the words right out of my mind. That a Semblance or something?"

"Hardly." he said. "Just good intuition. At this point, I don't think Menagerie would settle for anyone less than you.

"Well, maybe they should! A series of spectacular miracles/disaster had seen him elected "God Chieftain" of the island, but he knew his luck wouldn't hold. Not forever. He was exhausted, right and proper. Willing to accept responsibility, yes, but not if he didn't have do. If there was someone willing to take the mantle from him he'd gladly give it. But who in their right mind would possibly...

"Maybe they would." an idea broke like the dawn in the back of his mind. "You'd be a better leader than me."

"You may say that," Ghira met his retort with a grim grin and held out a hand. Much to his chagrin, he began to count down from five. "Yet I wasn't the one to slay a giant sea serpent."

Naruto growled. "One time."

...or destroy several mountains...

The growl became a whimper. "That was an accident!"

...or beat back an annoying Atlas envoy in broad bloody daylight...

The whimper was now a whine as his entire body convulsed. "Well, that one wasn't an accident...but still!"

...taking their tech for our own," Still his erstwhile ally continued to count, "Using it to construct our own CCT tower...

Kurama cackled in the back of his head. "He's certainly got you there...

...revitalizing the island, expanding it, making it livable...

"Alright, alight!" Naruto thumped a fist against the bar before Ghira could truly get rolling. "Maybe you didn't do those things. You'd still be a better leader than me. They think I'm a God! I ain't! I'm responsible for all of them and I'm scared shitless. I don't know what I'm doing! You have to take the job!"

The wise cat only shook his head. "In good conscience, I cannot. They'd tear me apart if I tried."

He opened his mouth to argue. Closed it again.

"Damn you and your sense." his head kissed the counter with a groan. "All of my hate, Ghira. You have it." A blue eye peaked up over the worn wood. "At least be my advisor. I'll hire ya!"

A low rumble rippled through the air. It took him a moment to realize it was laughter. "With what lien, my friend?"

"Um...well, I'm sure I can scrape something together...?" Another thought occurred to him and he blanched. "Shit, does this mean I gotta Amitola and the others...? Because after all they've done for me, if kinda feels like I should reward them, or something...I dunno...

Ghira concealed a smile behind his hand. "A god does not pay his subjects-

"Oi! If I wanted to hear that kinda bootlicking, I'd go to the Albain brothers. I don't and won't, for the record."

"Then calm yourself," a large hand came down on his arm, still another outburst. "I spoke in jest. In all honesty I'd be happy to assist you in your task as Chieftain. You've a good head on your shoulders...well, most of the time at any rate." The less said about his irritation with being called a god the better. "If I could make one request...?"

"Anything! Name it!"

"I would ask that you be kind to Kali."

Naruto's smile died an ugly death. "Kind? But I'm always nice to her."

"You are," Ghira granted him a nod, "I would only ask that you continue to be. "She's ever been a free spirit," he sat up, noting the faint hint of nostalgia in the older man's voice. "I do not wish to see her hurt."

"Wait, were the two of you...?"

"Us...? Goodness, no!" low laughter spilled out onto the bar. "We're old friends. Nothing more. Perhaps in time we might have settled down, but that moment has passed...as have the rest," he proved particularly quick to add the last bit when the blond opened his mouth. "I'll thank you not to foist Sienna or any of your companions onto me. They're your problem to deal with.

Blast. So much for the easy way out.

It was too much to hope Ghira wouldn't needle him. "If anything, I suspect you'll have a few little ones running about in the years to come."

His stomach lurched. "Future children aside, you got any suggestions that can help me with the here and now?"

"I thought you had Alesia Amitola for that sort of thing."

"About that," Naruto found himself grimacing all over again, "Don't get me wrong, Alesia's a great assistant an' all, but I can't go to her for this. If there's a problem, she can find a solution, but...well...

"I see." Ghira's head bobbed in universal understanding. ""She's part of your current problem then, I take it?"

"Yes, that!" Naruto flung up his arms with a cry. "Exactly that. Well, her, Kali, Sienna, and Anna...any ideas?"

"That depends entirely upon you." Gleaming golden eyes fastened upon him. "Do you care for them?

What kind of question was that? Of course he cared! Kali had been the one to help him find his footing here in Menagerie and beyond; she was the catalyst in all this, she who first expanded his worldview, urging him to look past the petty prejudices of humans and Faunus to see what might lay beyond. Sienna had pushed him to action against Atlas, Anna to strength, and Alesia to be mindful of the people he watched over. They'd each had an effect on him, for better or worse. Should something to them...well...he'd be cross.

"Please. You'd slaughter anyone who harmed them."

'I mean, you're not wrong, ya know...

But did he care-care? Could he see himself spending the rest of his life with any one of them? Or perhaps...no, no, don't go there yet. He needed to find an answer to the first question before he even dared to entertain the second. If he didn't find one soon, all this doubt would eat him alive.

"Its not an easy answer, is it?" Ghira claimed the seat opposite him and poured him another drink. "The fact that you hesitate at all speaks well of you."

His brow furrowed. "How so?"

"When you first came to us, you leaped without looking." he topped off his glass then went to pour his own. "Now you stop and think. Look before you leap. Not always mind you, not every time, but the fact that you do at all reflects your willingness to change." clawed fingers curled around the glass as he knocked it back. "To adapt. In that regard, we couldn't ask for a better leader."

"Ideas, man! I need a way to sort this out; preferably before Anna and the others jump me."

"There are worse way to go. Many would envy your position."

"Ghira!"

"Alright, alright. Give me some time to think...

As luck would have it, Ghira had an idea.

It stuck with him.


(.0.0.0.)


"A festival?"

"Yuuup. A festival."

Kali's ears flicked to and fro up atop her head; Naruto narrowly resisted the urge to reach out and stroke them to his hearts content. The urge intensified tenfold when she turned his way now, the better to catch what he'd just said. Didn't help that she was eyeing him like a juicy steak eyed where he sat atop the Chieftain's Throne. Had she a tail, he suspected it would've been waging about now. He wasn't sure if he liked the half-lidded look she was giving him, but he didn't necessarily dislike it either...

Anna didn't rise so easily to the bait; rather than rise and retort, she continued to run a whetstone across her blade.

In the end, if fell to Kali to voice the obvious question once more. "Whats the occasion?"

"I can think of one!" Alesia looked up from her clipboard and chirruped happily, drawing all eyes to her smiling face. "Our new CCT tower is nearing completion. Its still a bit rudimentary mind, but with a bit of tuning, we'll be able to freely communicate with the rest of Remnant. If that's not reason to celebrate, I don't know what is."

Naruto quirked a brow. "So soon? Its only been a week. "Best assistant ever."

"Y-Yes, well!" The chameleon faunus flushed, physically turning pink under his praise for a moment before she wrestled herself under control. "There's also the matter of the new zone you created." Leave it to her to rub his accomplishments in when he least expected it. "With the desert eradicated, much of the island itself is habitable again; folk have already begun moving out of Kuo Kuana to hew down trees. There's talk of expanding population centers, even building a city on the other side of the mountains." those stark silver eyes swept back to her charts. "Business with Mistral is booming. Refugees aside, we've seen an uptick in lumber by nearly fifty percent.

...is that good?"

"Good, he says!" Sienna seemed less than enthused, but he didn't miss her ears cocking his way, nor the way her golden eyes gleamed as she began to pace before the thone. "In a word, yes. Before you, two thirds of Menagerie were all but uninhabitable due to climate and Grimm. Do you understand?" she pivoted on one heel to face him. You've all but solved the former, leaving us with the latter. Once we exterminate those beasts once and for all, we'll have ourselves a peaceful utopia. Maybe more, if you can expand the island."

Kali preened. "It does have a nice ring to it."

Anna huffed, eyes flashing like wildfire. "Time spent celebrating is time that could be spent training. Rallying the troops."

"For what?" Kali clicked her tongue.

"For war." pale blue eyes snapped her way. "You're a fool if you think Atlas will let us be after what we did to their envoy."

Naruto quirked a brow. "Is that a no on the festival, then?"

Anna's gaze slid to his.

Neither moved.

He'd always known this would be a hard sell for her; from the very beginning, she was the greatest obstacle to overcome. Anna Taurus was a mercenary through and through. Give her someone to fight or soldiers to train and she'd be content. Ask her to preside over baffling numbers and a possible shadow war with Atlas...well. He didn't blame her for her aggression.

In the end, she surprised him; her pale face slowly turned red to match her long, flowing scarlet locks...and she looked away. "I didn't say that...

"Great!" He clapped his hands. "Sienna? Whaddya say? C'mon, we could all use a chance to relax."

Keen golden eyes met his. "You'll let me organize it?

"Sure, why not. Go nuts."

Something in her gaze told him he'd just walked into a trap, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't know the first thing about festivals; that was a task best left to the locals. Sienna might try and bait him him to a speech or somesuch, but that was a battle he was wiling to fight, if it meant a bit of peace in the interim.

"Love is a battlefield, my friend." Ghira's sage advice came back to him. "He who makes the first move finds victory. Make them an offer and see how they react. That will be your first sign."

"Still, why ask us all this?" Amitola finally found her voice again, drawing his attention. "You're in charge. Its not as if we could stop you from throwing a celebration."

...might as well be honest.

'They'll laugh at me!'

"They won't."

"I wanna get to know you." cheeks burning, he leaned forward in his chair, and spoke from the heart. "All of you." nerves got to him and he stumbled through the rest, pointedly staring at the ceiling. "Your thoughts, your ambitions, what drives you. Is that so wrong?"

Anna stopped sharpening her blade and looked his way once more. "A general should always know his troops...

"Not troops." he slashed a hand through the air. "I wanna know you as people, ya know."

His words were the spark for everything that followed.

In short? A string of squeaks, gasps, and gibberish.

Kali's ears went ramrod straight, her tan face turning an adorable shade of pink; her face slammed into her hands. Amitola's knees twisted from side to side before all but turned invisible and studiously gazed upon at her clipboard, refusing to meet his eyes. Meanwhile, Sienna and Anna exchanged a long lingering look between one another as though girding themselves for the war to end all wars.

The door to his chambers creaked open before he could ask what they were on about.

"Sire!" A masked page poked their head through the gap, wasted and gasping for air. "There's a man here to see you!"

"Not now!"

A distant crash echoed in the hall behind the door.

Anna's sword escaped its sheathe with a rasp of naked steel.

Amitola sprang to her feet. Sienna went for her whip, and Kali pulled a slender holdout dagger from her sleeve.

"That's what we told him, sir!" "the poor boy sounded positively harassed before the armed quartet. "We tried to make him shove back off, but he wouldn't listen! He's cutting a path straight here. We can't stop him!" Another tremor rocked the earth heralded by a distant shout, drawing a whimper from them. "He's much too powerful!"

Anna snapped out of her daze. "What manner of weapon does he wield?"

"I...well...a cane." The poor page whimpered and hung their head before her incredulous snarl. "Just...just a cane."

A ripple of confusion pulsed through the room.

Naruto flicked a glance toward the door.

"A cane...?

"He's not killed anyone yet," the messenger babbled on, heedless of their confusion, "He's just knocking them out, but still! We need help-oh gods?!"

A hand spared through the gap, caught ahold of the page's head and yanked them back through the gap. Their subsequent shriek of fear was muffled as the door slammed shut. A dull crash rang out almost immediately thereafter, followed by a faint groan as someone or something slid down the wall.

"Terribly sorry about that," a low voice intoned. "You'll have a bit of a headache when you wake up, nothing more.

And the doors parted once more.

Well-polished shoes clicked against the floor as someone entered, a spring in their step. A stately middle-aged man stepped through them, his dark hair, touched by streaks of silver. Clad in a dapper black tweed suit with an open jacket, he was the very picture of poise. A green scarf hung loose round his neck, contrasting nicely with the spectacles he wore. The steely grey eyes behind them were another matter. They warm, almost affable really, as though he'd just returned from a very enthusiastic walk, rather than tear his way through half an island.

"He's got spirit." Kurama remarked. "I like him."

'Of course you would...

"I'm terribly sorry for the mess," he planted both hands upon his cane, and straightened his back, "But it was most imperative that I meet with you. Rest assured, I didn't slay a single soul on my way here."

Naruto found himself quirking a brow down at the newcomer. "And you are...?"

The man merely smiled at him in return. "A friend."

"Really?" he didn't return it. "My friends don't wade in smacking innocent people about...

A/N: We meet again, Ozpin. Man enjoys his dramatic entrances...but this one might well come back to bite him in the arse.

Remember, at this point, he's a good bit younger than he was in canon, and likely not Headmaster of Beacon.

And I'll say this; Naruto won't be trapped on Menagerie forever. Nope, no sir.

As ever, the Embers rule still persists. If folks don't like this story? Well...I'll not continue it. I can't bear to write something no one likes. That's no joke. So by all means, speak up! Raise your voice! Make yourself heard! Your reviews matter! Really, they do! I'm literally working every day now, so I have less and less time to write. Daily updates might...slow down in the interim, but I know that would upset a lot of people.

So, in the Immortal words of Atlas...

...review, would you kindly?

And of course, enjoy the previews! Rough, though they are

(Previews)

"Fascinating. And you say you destroyed those mountains alone?"

Naruto buried his head in his hands.

"Why meeee...


"Atlas is rather cross with you at the moment."

"Awwww, are they?" Anna scoffed at his side. "Well, they can swallow it. A bloody nose is the least of their worries.

"Please hear me, I beg of you. The last thing the kingdoms need is another great war." he kept his hands up. "I want to help you. Truly, I do. If I had it my way, Menagerie would've been recognized as a fifth kingdom an age ago.

"What would you say to founding a Huntsman Academy here?"

Naruto's brow shot up into his hair. "Eh?"


"You want me to train you?"

Kali clasped her hands.

"Please?"


"Allow me to introduce my associate-

"No, no, no!" A hand snapped up, cutting him short. "Four is quite enough, thank-you-very much!"

...four?" Ozpin blinked, not quite comprehending. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Trust me, you don't wanna!"


"Didn't ask, don't need it, go f**k yourself!"


"Oi." he creaked an eye open. "What're you doing?""

She climbed atop him, the bed creaking beneath their shared weight. Her forehead touched his. "Something I should've done a long time ago...

He sniffed once. "You're drunk."

She hiccuped. "M'not!"


A dagger flicked his way in the dark. He caught it between two fingers.

Blue eyes slid to his right. He heard the crack of a sniper rifle.

The piercing round flattened against the back of his head.

Naruto blew out a short, sharp, angry breath.

...right, then. You asked for this."


R&R~!