(Disclaimer for anyone reading this: There is no sexual activity here, just bland jokes that are stupidly funny in a video from VanossGaming. For any admin who wishes to alert me to change the Rating, please DM me immediately.)
Upstairs, was a commotion that involved firing guns and yelling, waking up Team RWBY.
"Ugh! Can't we get some peace and quiet?!" Weiss grunted. "I hate those new hunters that we found in the forest!"
"It's bst not to complain about it, Weiss..." Blake yawned. "It's going to be a long night, if not, a long week with those four..."
"Well, we can't obviously go back to sleep." said Yang.
"Why don't we watch a video?" asked Ruby. "I heard Vanoss uploaded something on DustTube."
"Sure." The team agreed as Ruby logged into her DustTube account and clicked on a random video.
(Video: Add THIS Game to the Résumé!)
(Vanoss starts with his signature "Alright!" followed by Moo's "Alright!".)
Vanoss: Welcome to Uno: Black and White Version.
Nogla: Pfft, no, Evan. Different Card Game here, Evan.
Vanoss: Poker.
Nogla: That's it. Welcome to Poker, everyone.
"Already with the Card Jokes..." Yang huffed a "Ha" out of her mouth. "This is Cards Against Humanity."
"Isn't stuff already against humanity?" Ruby sighed. "I never got this Game's humor..."
"Probably because we were playing on paper cards. Until now, it looks like the Banana Bus are playing on device." Blake answered.
"Oh, that explains it." Yang replied. "No wonder why the jokes weren't funny then..."
Nogla: In Poker, Lovin' you is easy 'cause you're "blank".
Terroriser: You have to do it like the song. (singing) ~Lovin you, is easy cuz you're~.
(The Banana Bus Squad chuckled)
Nogla: Oh.
"This is going to be good..." Weiss said sarcastically.
Nogla: (singing) ~Lovin you, is easy cause you're "a terrified fat child who won't come out of the bushes"~.
(The Banana Bus Squad as well as Blake chuckled a little.)
Terroriser: The Christmas Number One.
Nogla: (singing) ~Lovin you, is easy cause you're "whining like a little bitch".
(Nogla earned some more chuckles from the group as well as some more from Weiss.)
Weiss: I'd dump the guy who whines like one!
Nogla: (singing) ~Lovin you, is easy cause you're "inserting a Mason jar into my anus"~. (stop singing) Wow, all of these can be number ones.
Terroriser: It could be.
Moo: It could.
"No it couldn't." Weiss sighed. "What do they even listen to on a daily basis?"
Nogla: Inserting a Mason jar into my anus? I'd love you if you did that.
"Well prepare for some Mason jar inserting if you ever make me mad, Nogla." Weiss took notes.
"Didn't you hear him, he'll love you for doing that." Yang replied.
"I'd like a man who would love being tortured by me!" Weiss stopped and recalled what she said. "Forget that I said that..."
"Oh... kay.." Ruby resumed the video.
Nogla: Whining like a little bitch?... It has to be- (Vanoss gets a point from Nogla.)
Vanoss: YES! I knew it?!
Terroriser: Really?!
Vanoss: I knew it!
Terroriser: Really?! Inserting a Mason Jar into my anus!
Nogla: Yeah.
Terroriser: God...
"So the last one was his card." Blake commented.
Terroriser: Favoritism, here we go...
Vanoss: I know his humor!
Terroriser: Nogla just by Vanoss, alright, here we go. "I knew his humor: Go by Fat Children."
"That sounded wrong!" Ruby giggled earning another giggle from Yang.
"That's his humor?!" asked Yang. "Yeah, that's an easy win for Vanoss.."
(Moo's Turn)
Vanoss: Read it.
Moo: What will end racism once and for all?
Nogla: Alright, this is getting demonetized.
(The group chuckled a bit awkwardly.)
"Alright, Almighty cards. What do we need to end rscism between humans and fauna?" asked Ruby, with Blake coveringher ears, which were tucked underneath her ribbon.
Moo: "Basic Human Decency?" Yeah, that could definitely do it.
"THAT is what we need!" Blake pointed that out. "We need some decency with Fauna and Humans!"
"Yeah, that sounds good!" Yang replied.
Moo: "Becoming the King of Vale?" That definitely has not-
Nogla: Didn't do it.
Moo: -happen to be that bad of a truth (?). "Getting shot by the Hunters"... YIKES..
(The boys laughed.)
"Wow, ever since that one incident with the Hunters and that one Fauna, this joke REALLY hits hard..." Yang looked slightly awkward of the joke, as Blake remembered a huge uproar with the Fauna and the Humans because of one Fauna bullied by some Hunters, and since then, things haven't went good.
Terroriser: Do your worst, Brock!
(Vanoss gets another point as Vanoss laughed and chanted "Yes" whike Nogla and Terroriser were confused and surprised.)
Terroriser: You're all some Disney Channel Motherfuckers!
Vanoss: Moo's a smart man!
Terroriser: Fuckin DustTubers change, man...
"That's another point for Vanoss." Ruby grinned.
"That joke wasn't funny." Weiss replied.
(Vanoss's Turn)
Vanoss: I spent my whole life working toward "Blank", only to have it ruined by "Blank". I always can tell Brian has a decent one, cuz he's- (Terroriser snorted as Vanoss chuckled.) Like, really quietly in the background.
Nogla: Gotta throw away mine, mine are throw away...
"Alright." Yang told her team. "Let's keep an eye out for Brian's card. I think Vanoss has a point somewhere."
"I mean, if it's funny to the person, then it should be funny to everyone." Said Blake.
Vanoss: I spent my whole life working towards "Political Correctness", only to have it ruined by "Child Abuse". (Slight chuckle from Vanoss and Nogla.)
Nogla: Oh shit...
"That's a wrong way to go, coachie!" Ruby chuckled a bit.
"Imagine, setting a good example, only to have it ruined by your embarrassing actions!" Weiss followed.
Vanoss: I spent my whole life working towards "Assasinating the King of Vale", only to have it ruined by "Strong Female Charcters".
"I bet we're the ones who'll stop you from assasinating anyone!" Ruby cheered. "Am I right?!"
"You bet!" Yang cheered with Ruby.
"Guys, it's just a virtual card game." Blake calmed down the Rose sisters. "We all know how REALLY bored these guys get from going on duties in the forest."
"Oh yeah..." Ruby realized. "Okay, you can play the video now."
Vanoss: I spent my whole life working towards "A Chelsea Smile"- what's that? What is that?
Moo: It's a Joker Hat (?).
Vanoss: Only to have it ruined by "A 55 Gallon Drum of Lube". Well, it's gonna be the first one.
(Terroriser gets a Point from Vanoss as Terroriser chanted in victory.)
Vanoss: It was right with the (Immitation of Brian's "Oh" chuckle bluff).
Terroriser: I had SO many options there!
"And so, Vanoss was right." Weiss sighed. "This man, I can't take him seriously..."
There was another round of noise coming upstairs as the room shook.
"Let's just play the video..." Weiss sighed.
(Terroriser's Turn)
Terroriser: Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate "Blank" in the workplace.
(Moo laughed a bit evilly and sneaky.)
Terroriser: Watch if Brock wins this round after that laugh...
Vanoss: I'm sure he will. I'm sure he has something about like Hitler.
(The group slightly chuckled again.)
Terroriser: He knows my weakness... (In a German's Voice as a picture of Hitler holding two "Heinekeins" followed Terroriser's voicelines) Nothing makes me laugh more than the Führer! I tell you! Vunderbar!
Nogla: (In a German's Accent) It's the best humor!
Terroriser: (In the German's Voice) It is EXPLOSIVE!
"Is that the man that the upstairs Doctor guy follows?" asked Weiss. "He seems so... Insane..."
"Which would probably explain his behavior..." Blake replied. "If anything, this Hitler-man might be a joke of a leader."
Terroriser: Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate "A Snapping Turtle Biting the Tip of your Penis" in the workplace. (No laughter) No one should have to tolerate "Soft, kissy missionary sex" in the workplace. (Terroriser earned a few chuckles)
"Well these two jokes are real weird..." Ruby cringed a bit.
"No one tell Ruby anything, she's too young." Weiss ordered.
Terroriser: No one should have to tolerate "Soup that is Too Hot" in the workplace. (Gives a point to Vanoss.) Yeah, that shit's disgusting...
Vanoss: YEAH!
Moo: (Angrily) COME ON!
Terroriser: Sorry, man, but NO ONE should have to tolerate that in the workplace or even in their home. That's disgusting...
"He's got a point, there." Weiss replied.
(Nogla's Turn)
Nogla: Channel 5's new reality show feature eight washed up celebrities living with "Blank".
Moo: You done goofed, Brian.
Terroriser: I done goofed...
Nogla: Channel 5's new reality show feature eight washed up celebrities living with "Viagra" (Mucus Cough). Okay... Wow.
"That's disgusting!" Ruby cringed at Nogla's cough.
Nogla: Channel 5's new reality show feature eight washed up celebrities living with "Cute Boys"... Dang... So just Hollywood then... (Air horns, as Brian held his laugh as air squeezed through his nostrils)
Blake blushed as she laughed a bit. "Yeah, the actors and actresses need to step up their game! It's just the same recycled trash over and over again."
"I thought all you do is read books." Yang questioned Blake.
"I don't always read books when I don't have one near me." Blake replied.
Nogla: Yeah, that one sounds like a show. (Gives the point to Terroriser)
Vanoss: WAIT, YOU DIDN'T READ THE LAST ONE!
Nogla: Didn't need to, man.
Moo: Wow, this game is awesome. Having so much fun, getting picked all the time...
"Now THAT'S funny!" Weiss pointed out.
"Poor Brock..." Yang shook her head. "He doesn't have a point. Someone give him a good card!"
Vanoss: Would've been great if RoboCop was there, and then Nogla would be like, "Oh RoboCop".
Nogla: I just see RoboCop and be like- (Nogla doing the Dumb Voice while clapping his hands). "Hey guys! How you do, ya?! RoboCop! Yeah!" No. Fuck off, Evan.
"I'm surprised Nogla's not that dumb like he was before." Ruby commented.
"What an evolution." Yang followed.
(Moo's Turn)
Moo: Before "Blank", all we had was "Blank".
Nogla: Ugh...I have nothing good... Mine's a throwaway...
"And there goes Nogla." Blake shook her head.
Moo: Before "Permanent Face Orgasm Disorder", all we had was "Boring Vaginal (Vagienell) Sex".
(The boys were not touching those cards.)
"NOT IN FRONT OF MY BABY SISTER!" Shouted Yang.
"Hey! I'm not a baby!" Shouted Ruby.
Moo: Vaginal sex. I dunno why I said (Vagienell) by the way.
Nogla: (Chuckling) (Vagienell)...
Vanoss: It's pronounced (Vageenal).
Team RWBY had no comment on these cards nor the jokes.
Moo: Before "This Month's Mass Shooting", all we had was "some bloody peace and quiet".
(Nogla laughed but Moo handed the point to Vanoss.)
Vanoss: YES! (x9)
Nogla: Wow, you're really good at this game.
Terroriser: REALLY?!.. REALLY?!.. REALLY?!.. REALLY?!...
Vanoss: That's always Brian's response when I win a round.
"And so the lewd card won..." Weiss sighed. "These jokes are getting dull..."
Terroriser: I felt like a horrible person for putting years into those cards!
Moo: Yeah, you should!
Terroriser: (In a Southern Accent) Goddamn kids with their AK47's! God, I want some peace and quiet! (stopped doing the accent) And you picked that?!
"Honestly, Brian's card had more of a ring to it than the other option." Ruby replied.
(Vanoss's Turn)
Vanoss: (Singing) ~Old McDonald has "..." O~ (slight chuckle from another player) Choose wisely.
"Right, can't wait to find out how these guys make this nursery rhyme funny..." Blake sighed.
"DON'T JINX IT!" Yang remembered how filthy can this game be.
Nogla: NO!.. NO!... I FUCKED UP!... I FUCKED UP!
Vanoss: Can't wait to see this card.
Nogla: I had the perfect card!
"Here it comes!" Ruby couldn't wait to laugh away.
Vanoss: ~Old McDonald has~ (Laughing) "Huge big balls full of jizz"! O!
This joke earned laughs from everyone but Team RWBY, who were blushing madly and were slightly disgusted by the image.
"Not in front of Ruby!" Yang shouted at the screen.
Vanoss:(singing) ~Old McDonald has "ISIS"! O.~... ~Old McDonald has "Chemical Weapons", E I E I- It has to be this one, I'm sorry!
(Vanoss gave the point to Terroriser as everyone laughed.)
Terroriser: (Singing) ~Old McDonald has "huge big balls full of jizz" O! With a cum, cum there, and a jizz, jizz there.~
Nogla: (Singing) ~Everywhere, everywhere~
"So this is what boys joke about." Blake understood the humor. "I had to admit, that was funny, but disturbing."
"You can say that again." Weiss replied.
(Terroriser's Turn)
Terroriser: Welcome to Senior Frog's! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, ""Blank" on the Beach"? Maybe I have to do it with a.. a Latino accent.
"Oh boy." Ruby was sure this would either be funny or disgusting.
Terroriser: (In a scratchy Latino Accent) Welcome to Senior Frog's! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, ""Smoking crack, for instance" on the Beach"? (Nogla hiccuped laughed.)
"Oh... 'kay?" Yang was confused.
Terroriser: (slightly laughing on the end) Welcome to Senior Frog's! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, ""Boogers" on the Beach"? ... Welcome to Senior Frog's! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, ""Bubble Butt Bottom Boys"
Everyone, including Team RWBY, bursted out laughing.
(Terroriser gives the point to Vanoss)
Vanoss: The way you said it with that accent was amazing!
Terroriser: That one made me stumble so much! (Mumbles gibberish with "Bubble Butt Bottom Boys" as the boys kept laughing!)
"That was gold!" Ruby wiped a tear from her eye.
"Now THAT'S a funny joke!" Yang calmed down from laughing.
(Nogla's Turn)
Nogla: Having problems with "blank"? Try "blank"! Evan, we have zero points, Evan. Give some to us. Fuckin...
Moo: I know.
Nogla: Are we really that unfunny?
Terroriser: Oh no! I did it again!
Vanoss: Want me to just give it away? Wait, I can't let Brian get it.
Terroriser: Why?
Nogla: Just play fuckin cards, it's alright, Evan. It doesn't matter. I'm picking anything, just pick some stupid card that makes no sense. (Evan huffed.) Pick RoboCop. (Evan huffed again.)
"You mean the card that didn't make the cut?" Asked Ruby. "This is going to be boring..."
Nogla: Having touble with "the passage of time"? Try "having an awesome time drinking and driving"! (Earned a few chuckles from both groups.) Wow, that's.. great. I like that one a lot, actually. Having problems with "turning 32"? Try "Kale"!
Moo: That's an age humor joke.
Nogla: Yeah, not picking it.
"This one's tasteless." Weiss scoffed.
Vanoss: That one's mine.
Nogla: Alright, Evan. I might pick it then. Having problems with "frontal nudity"? Try "showing all the boys my pussy"!
"Wow..." Yang commented.
Vanoss: You're gonna pick the driving one?
Moo: It's killing me.
Nogla: The suspense.
Vanoss: With the magic of editing- (Nogla gives the point to Vanoss as Vanoss was happily shocked.) What the fuck?! Yes! Yes! Yes! I know his humor!
Moo: That's pathetic..
Nogla: "Kale is so funny! Guys, you're so funny about Kale!"
"Wow. Just wow." Weiss shook her head.
(Vanoss's Turn)
Vanoss: As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? "Deregulating the mortgage market". Kay? Very intelligent.
Moo: Housing joke.
Vanoss: As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? "German dungeon porn"- what?! (Shock full of chuckles from the boys)
"What's porn?" asked Ruby.
"I'll tell you when you're older." Yang replied.
Vanoss: As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? "Lynx Body Spray". Fuck's sake.
"Oh boy, this should be fun." Blake commented.
Nogla: Evan...
Vanoss: Shut up! Shut up.
Nogla: Evan.
Vanoss: I gotta- I gotta think about- I gotta think hard which one's the funniest.
Nogla: Yes, Evan. You know which one's the funniest... Pick it, Evan.
"Which one's the funniest?" asked Blake.
"Only Vanoss's choice can determine which one." Ruby replied.
Vanoss: (silently) Morgage one.
(Vanoss gives the point to Moo as Nogla erupts with Vanoss laughing.)
Nogla: WHAT?! (The boys but Nogla laughed) HOW DID DUNGEON PORN NOT WIN?! It would be hours watching it! HOURS, Evan! Fuck's sake! Fuckin housing market...
Moo: One point as a throwaway joke!
"Well at least Moo got a point." Blake commented.
"Poor guy's STARVING for points!" Yang replied.
"But so is Nogla." Ruby added.
"He should've picked RoboCop while he had the chance." Yang argued. "And maybe then he wouldn't starve for points."
(Terroriser's Turn)
Terroriser: Adventure. Romance. "Blank". From Paramount Pictures, "Blank". Man, you guys are really thinking about it.
Vanoss: Yeah! Hold on, this is gonna be- this gonna be a work of art.
"Finally, a card that would not bore us to death..." Weiss sighed in exhaustion, not only for lack of sleep, but also annoyance from the noise upstairs.
Terroriser: Adventure. Romance. "Out of control blowjob parties". From Paramount Pictures, "These hoes". (Nogla laughing) Coming to a cinema near you!
"That sounds like a good movie!" Yang looked a bit impressed.
"I guess Yang would be the main character inside that movie, considering you like to party, Yang. It's no surprise that you want to be in it." Weiss teased as Yang blushed red.
"NOT THOSE KINDS OF PARTIES!" Yang argued.
Nogla: That'll be a good movie!
Terroriser: Adventure. Romance. "An M16 assault rifle". From Paramount Pictures, "Homework". Starring, Charlie Sheen. Adventure. Romance. "Consensual Sex". From Paramount Pictures, "Forty Five minutes of finger blasting".
Nogla: I like the first one, I'd watch that movie.
(Terroriser gives a point to Vanoss.)
Vanoss: Yes!
Terroriser: NOOOO!
Nogla: How is Evan so good?!
Vanoss: You probably- Did you pick that wasn't as funny because you thought I was the last one?
Terroriser: No, I thought that was generally funny, cuz I thought that could actually be a movie. "These Hoes, with Kevin Hart"! (Both teams laughing)
Nogla: "And The Rock"!
Terroriser: (In probably Kevin Hart's tone and accent) Man, these all these hoes over here! Suckin all these dicks!
"Oh dear God!" said Ruby as she would burst into laughter but also in confusion and disgust. "I guess this would be a good movie for boys."
(Moo's Turn)
Moo: Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothing puts her in the mood like "...".
Nogla: (Nogla panicked a bit) Aw, fuck! I could've picked a few! I hope I picked the right one. I won't say anything.
"Oh dear, here it comes!" Yang said excitedly.
(As Moo says his Tsar Card, the camera zooms in on a white card as it slides up from the side of it.)
Moo: Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothing puts her in the mood- (Bursts out laughing)
Team RWBY looked at the card and laughed at it as much as Moo.
Nogla: Say it, Brock. Say it, Brock. Say it. Read it as it is. (Both groups continued to laugh) Come on, Brock. There's nothing wrong with Balls, it's a very friendly word.
(Moo laughed some more as he tried to stop, but then returns to laughing as he can't. The Boys kept laughing with Moo. Team RWBY kept laughing as Moo continued to laugh.)
Nogla: Oh my god. We know which one is one, we just gotta wait till he reads it.
Moo: (struggles to read it while laughing) "Smashing my balls at the moment of climax"!
Terroriser: That gets her in the mood?
"Oh god!" Weiss fell from the bed as she rolled over to the floor catching her breath.
"I never expected that card!" Blake wiped a tear from her eye.
"This is the greatest Card play ever!" Yang pats Ruby's back as she felt a huge smack.
"Hehey!" Ruby resumed the video.
Moo: Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothing puts her in the mood like "The Force". Son, take it from someone who's been around the block a few times. Nothing puts her in the mood like (laughs while trading the last card) "Seeing my Father cry". That was good too, but-
Nogla: You gotta go with the balls.
(Moo gives the final point to Vanoss.)
Vanoss: Yes!
(A trophy cup appeared on the screen that said "Most Horrible Person".)
Terroriser: Oh my gawwwwd!
Nogla: He's just too good!
Terroriser: Damn.
Nogla: He's too funny!
Vanoss: Yes.
Nogla: Nothing was gonna beat that... Fuck.
(Video ends with an outro song from Slenderbodies called "The One")
After regaining composure, Team RWBY had recovered from lack of air from laughing a lot.
"This was a good night!" Weiss sighed happily.
"And look! The noise stopped!" Ruby said happily.
"NOW, we can get some rest." Blake sighed as she laid on the bottom part of the bunker bed below Weiss.
"Goodnight everyone." Yang went to her bunker bed and all four girls drifted off to sleep.
(5 minutes before the video ended, above Team RWBY's room.)
"DAMMIT, RICHTOFEN! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TOLD YOU, THAT BOMB WAS FOR EMERGENCIES?!" Tank Dempsey scolded his Nazi German ally.
"Oh, then how vould you think I vould exterminate vuat YOU caused in my shmall lab, Dempsey?!" Richtofen argued back. "And how many times musht I tell you, Nikolai was YOUR reshponshibility?!"
"Well, I'm not gonna babysit that drunk commie!" Demsey argued.
"Sirence, foul arries!" Takeo Masaki sushed the two. "We must capitarize the dead sirence from the Russian!"
"Zzz... Vodka... Zzz.. Fourth wife... Nikolai hates you..." Nikolai Belinski snored as his breath smelled like Grimm Blood that was turned into alcohol by water and natural plants.
"Well now, tonight, ve shall shleep!" Richtofen announced. "Shleep tight now, ve got class to teach tomorrow!"
The four boye, who used to be men, went to their bunker beds and sleep with the remains of a goop monster made out of Grimm Blood, Alcohol and Dust Water for a new wonder weapon, splattered on the floor, with Grenade shells everywhere. At least, the noise was gone.
Sorry if it took me forever to make. I will try to make it more faster with shorter videos and with the best humor as well as drama free. I will come back to this with another full video. See you guys later.
