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Batman 1939: Three's Company
Chapter 11: The Sanguine Solution
Catwoman pawed the water and scowled.
Shadowcrest explained, "The Emergent Sea is a fortress. Instead of stone, it thwarts besiegers with misdirection. When Lord Faust enters the study, he will step upon a distant sandbar, leagues away. He will detect the Mistress here and try to approach, but the Emergent Sea will lead him astray. The Great Koschei considered violence the best part of chess, so each wrong turn will hide a trap. These struggles will exhaust him. By the Sea's illusions, you will witness him long before he eyes this platform, so he will arrive with no advantage of surprise."
Zatanna looked around. Giovanni's opulent study was a flat barge. She remembered that Faust could fly.
"This fortress feels a little exposed," she said.
"The Emergent Sea will serve its purpose. Victory depends on our other preparations: reconnaissance and armament."
"Reconnaissance?" said Catwoman. "You want us to spy on Faust?"
"No, child, our spy has performed his work. We need only hear his report."
As the group tried to understand that, Batman was the first to notice Shadowcrest gazing past them. He turned and found that Shadowcrest was staring at the giant plant and the body of Zachary Cehennem.
Many rooms away in the entrance hall.
The smoky red pit whence Barbatos had emerged began to dim and close below him. He was a huge beast in the form of a bat. But as the candles relit by twos and threes, it was obvious Barbatos was a bat much like the Sphinx of Giza was a cat: resembling the animal but with every feature distorted and a thousand times larger.
Barbatos shouted again. "Are you deaf, mate? I asked if this is your summoning circle?"
From the top of the stairs, Felix, Lord of Faust trembled so hard his knees knocked. He opened his mouth, but a noise like an asthmatic donkey came out, so he closed it again.
To use a sports analogy, magical beings could be divided into leagues. Most magi only played in the schoolyard. A strong mage considered it a serious endeavor to confront a being from the minor leagues, where Shadowcrest would be a rookie. The major leagues were something else. Creatures of true majesty, those mysterious entities governed entire nouns - like 'winter' or 'hope' or 'bats'. Even a legend like Faust rarely visited the major leagues. Few magi ever did, and very few returned.
Barbatos was a major leaguer. Faust had been so swept up in the thrill of the hunt, he had forgotten what that meant. Faust desperately tried to remember whether he had left any gaps in the salt circle.
Barbatos was looking impatient, so Faust managed to find his voice. "Uh, hail! Hail, Barbatos. I, Felix, Lord of-"
"Faust!"
"Um."
"Strewth, I've heard of you." Barbatos leaned over the circle and grinned, his head level with the top of the stairs. Bat mouths were not built to grin. "Yes, you and your little crew."
"Um. Of course! For, uh, tales of my deeds have rung across the multiverse. But may I ask from whom you heard of me, mighty Barbatos? If you please?"
Barbatos leaned closer as its fangs dripped. "Bunch of derros, pay them no mind. What can I do for you, here in this lovely estate that-" Barbatos closed his eyes and scratched his ear. "Feels like you're halfway to stealing! Why, you poddy-dodging malaker." He opened his eyes, impressed. "Did you summon me to help you knock off some old fool's house? Fair dinkum, that is bold and no two ways about it. Wait till the lads hear about this."
"No, great Barbatos, most wise, and, um, smart. I humbly seek your counsel to, uh-" Faust felt Barbatos' hot breath on his face and stumbled backward. "To decipher a mark."
"Decipher a mark? Do you think I'm some bloody graduate student?"
"No, magnificent one, I misspoke. For tonight I met a blackguard who hath adorned his ignoble self with what appears to be your vespertilian heraldry. I called upon you to reveal this crime, as I knew you would like - no, deserve! - to avenge this insult."
"Is that so? You stop in the middle of a burglary where you lost an arm, find my book, read my book, and draw up some hasty excuse for a summoning circle, just to warn me of some trademark infringement?"
"Yes."
"Fine, let's see it."
Faust cast a spell. There was a flash, and a roll of parchment fell into his hand. It had a lifelike ink sketch of Batman as Faust had seen him through the observatory portal. The image was centered on Batman's chest emblem. Faust held up the parchment.
Barbatos huffed, and two bats fluttered out of the shadows of the ceiling, seized the parchment with their claws, and held it before Barbatos' face. Twenty more bats appeared carrying an enormous pair of spectacles which dropped over his eyes.
Barbatos peered at the sketch. "Huh."
Back in Giovanni's floating study.
Abdiel Cehennem hadn't said a word since Zatanna's party entered the study. This was due to the muzzle on his face, but moreso the sight of his brother Zachary with his side ripped open had put Abdiel in a fugue. Minutes passed like heartbeats. Voices passed, dreamlike and distant. His throat was nearly too tight to breathe, and his cheeks were hot with tears that wouldn't end. Abdiel hadn't noticed when the house was playing board games with a hat, and he barely noticed when three walls fell and revealed an ocean, or that the ceiling had disappeared.
Abdiel's tears weren't only for his brother. He was trapped in a walking prison commanded by a mystic house who hated him. No doubt Faust was coming to kill him. And if Faust failed, he was stalked by two vicious thugs in animal costumes. The man was confusing, threatening to break his hands one minute then discuss philosophy the next, while the lady simply wanted to tear his head off. But Zatanna was the biggest disappointment. He had tried to treat his cousin kindly all evening, but ever since he pointed that gun at her she barely seemed to tolerate him.
Abdiel was used to facing death. Growing up in a mage family was dangerous, doubly so when the family was dying in a feud. But he could always count on Zachary. Abdiel had never faced death alone.
The others were looking at Zachary again. Now they were walking over, surrounding the big plant. It resembled a white venus fly trap with Zachary floating limp in its mouth. Shadowcrest pointed at Zachary. Abdiel struggled to listen.
Shadowcrest said, "We have a source who can tell us his most recent disposition."
"He's alive?" cried Zatanna and Catwoman in very different tones.
"Yes, and shortly-"
Abdiel stopped listening. He stared at the white plant, struggling to catch a hazy recollection on the edge of his mind. Zachary should be dead. What could the house be talking about? No big white plant could heal a wound like that.
Then he remembered. And with terrible clarity, he understood the plan. Abidel screamed.
Shadowcrest paused, interrupted by a muffled wail from Abdiel, who thrashed inside his walking prison, his eyes red with fresh tears.
"Quiet," muttered Shadowcrest. The seams in Abdiel's prison flashed blue. He squeaked in pain and was silent.
"Shadowcrest," scolded Zatanna, "Let's hear what he has to say."
Shadowcrest relented. "Be brief."
The muzzle on Abdiel's face retracted. Abdiel gasped for air, his eyes unfocused in pain. But he didn't wait to gather his wits before wheezing, "Don't. Don't let'em do it, Zatanna. Please don't. Please. Don't let him die."
Zatanna frowned. "No one's doing anything yet. What are you talking about?"
"Tell'em!" Abdiel's sightless eyes turned to Shadowcrest. "Tell'em why it's white. Tell'em why it's white."
"What does he mean?" Zatanna asked Shadowcrest.
Shadowcrest said, "When Abdiel struck you in the dining room, he broke my agreement with Lord Faust, freeing me to apprehend both brothers. At that instant, Zachary and Faust were exiting the keystone chamber, no doubt discussing further misdeeds. But before I could seize Zachary, Faust attacked him. I am no healer, so I brought him to the greenhouse to buy time."
Shadowcrest petted a white petal of the giant plant. "This is Sarkoth's nurse. The plant was bred ages ago by Sarkoth the Undying, a mage with two passions: dueling and botany. He was a poor duelist, so he cultivated the nurse to ease his frequent recoveries."
"So that goop is healing him?" asked Zatanna.
"No!" shouted Abdiel.
Shadowcrest refitted Abdiel's muzzle and said, "The sap in Sarkoth's nurse slows the organs to near-stillness, delaying death from a fate of seconds to one of hours. When I rouse Zachary, his lingering sedation will keep him lucid despite his wound. He will last long enough to report on Faust's schemes."
Abdiel struggled to scream against his gag as he stared at the group with wide eyes.
Lines of doubt creased Zatanna's face. "Can we leave Zachary in there? I'd rather he didn't die."
"Mistress, his knowledge may be vital to your survival. Surely he forfeited any clemency when he made himself your enemy."
"Faust attacked him. Isn't the enemy of our enemy a good guy? Maybe he had a change of heart."
Abdiel nodded vigorously.
Catwoman rolled her eyes. "It pains me to agree with Shady, but gangs turn on each other in the middle of a heist all the time. Doesn't mean he's a good guy. Leopards don't change their spots, sweetie." She looked at Abdiel. "Trash is trash."
"He's not trash!" said Zatanna. "Or a leopard. We don't know the whole story."
Catwomen pinched the bridge of her nose. "Dear, he kidnapped you. Batman, help me talk some sense into her."
Batman was deep in thought. He looked toward the sea. Finally he said, "Shadowcrest, you said the plant eased Sarkoth's recovery. Did he have doctors to treat him?"
"No," said Shadowcrest. "The plant can do more than maintain health. Sarkoth also imbued his cultivar with an extraordinary power to heal."
"You sure didn't mention that," said Zatanna. "Let's use it."
"This power was fueled by that most potent of mystic ingredients, fresh human blood. The plant has a ravenous blood-hunger, but Sarkoth was also a great slaveholder, so it had food in abundance."
Catwoman and Zatanna winced. Shadowcrest continued, "Without blood, the sap of the Sarkoth's nurse merely postpones death. Unfortunately, our specimen hasn't been fed in many years. Witness its pale petals. A sated plant would be a rich pink."
Batman asked, "How much blood does it need to heal Zachary?"
The plant rustled, and from the bushy leaves at its base grew a long vine with a pair of needle-like barbs at its ends. It rattled these eagerly but kept its distance. Then another vine grew up beside the barbs ending in a small pitcher of translucent fronds.
Shadowcrest gestured at the pitcher. "To knit the boy's wound, this must be filled to the brim."
Batman studied the size of the pitcher. "That's more than fatal."
Shadowcrest nodded. "Then the matter is closed."
"Hold on," said Zatanna, "There's got to be another way. Maybe the donor could give a half dose. You know, get him steady enough to talk without anyone dying?"
"Mistress, when starved of blood, Sarkoth's nurse naturally exsanguinates the very minimum it judges necessary for the patient to survive. And it is a very good judge. A partial feeding would merely treat the patient's deadly wound into a smaller deadly wound."
Catwoman knocked on Abdiel's prison leg. "Hey, Batman, are you sure it would kill jumbo here? He's got to have some extra blood."
Batman walked to Abdiel's prison and looked at Shadowcrest. Shadowcrest opened the prison, dumping Abdiel's massive bulk to the floor. Batman inspected him.
Batman shook his head. "Still fatal."
Shadowcrest said, "If the Mistress wishes to sacrifice one brother for the other, I see no issue. The process is swift and our interrogation could proceed. Zachary seems the more valuable pawn in any case."
Abdiel turned pale, but he kept bravely silent.
"No," said Zatanna. "Come on, think. Abdiel, you're a mage. Can't you help your brother with magic?"
Despite his tears, Abdiel chuckled. "Nope."
"Nothing?"
"Don't you think I would if I could? Anything involving people's guts is real serious magic, Zatanna. Real serious. Fixing bodies, adding accessories, anything. I wouldn't trust myself to fix a bad ankle. This is out of my league."
Batman crossed his arms. "I've seen you teleport. Your body vanished and rematerialized out of nothing."
Abdiel shook his head. "Nah, what you call 'teleporting' is I stay still and move the universe around me. Baby stuff. Doesn't hurt at all."
Batman was tremendously annoyed to learn this, but he suppressed the feeling.
Zatanna snapped her fingers. "Oh! Maybe we can all pitch in. What if everyone donated a little?"
Catwoman was ready to protest. Then she saw Batman loom over Zatanna and grimly stare her down.
"Uh," Zatanna swallowed. "If you don't like the idea, just-"
"One hundred and twenty-six pounds," said Batman.
"How did you know that?" asked Zatanna.
He turned to stare at Catwoman. "You're-"
"Don't," said Catwoman.
He looked between the women. "How much iron is in your diets? Milligrams, preferably."
"Enough," said Shadowcrest to Batman. "The loutish cousin is fair game, but you and the crass girl must be in full health to protect the Mistress. And she certainly will not spill a drop for idle charity. I will not allow it."
Zatanna shouted back, "It's my cousin's life, you big outhouse! I'm running out of family awful fast, so just shut up!" She took a deep breath. "Batman, could the rest of us donate together without getting faint?"
Batman gave the question some thought. "How much practice do either of you have with substantial blood loss?"
"None," said Catwoman.
"Practice?" asked Zatanna.
"The popular opinion is that our reaction to blood loss is involuntary, but I believe most symptoms can be overcome by preparation and discipline. Medical literature likes to claim that acute effects begin after losing around fifteen to thirty percent by volume. Using volume expanders, I've found that I can stave off shock well into the upper bound of that range." He paused. "Loss of consciousness before forty percent is extremely probable."
Zatanna whispered to Catwoman, "Is he a regular murderer or one of those creepy murderers?"
Catwoman whispered back, "Honestly? The creepy part is that he isn't."
Batman spoke over them. "Even at that extreme, there are anecdotes to the contrary. When George Washington was on his deathbed, his doctor administered a blood-letting that reached forty percent volume over half a day, and Washington was coherent for most of that time."
"But he died," noted Catwoman.
"Yes, but slowly."
"Forget it," said Catwoman, throwing up her hands. "I don't know why I listened this long."
"Catwoman, please." Zatanna tried to catch her, but Catwoman pulled away. With a cold stare at Abdiel, she said, "These brothers are getting what they deserve. I'm out."
"Such wisdom from the mouth of babes," said Shadowcrest, "Are you satisfied, Mistress? I will not wait longer."
Zatanna grabbed Batman's arm with both hands in a panic. "How about us? Can it work with just us?"
"I will not allow that," repeated Shadowcrest.
Batman looked again at the plant's pitcher. "No. If Abdiel gave his safe limit, you and I might fill the remainder and survive, but it would leave us too weak to walk."
"Please, is there anything you can do?"
Batman closed his eyes, trying to banish how her voice brought up old memories. He took a meditative breath, letting his muscles relax. Zatanna thought he was ignoring her and let go, fighting back tears.
Then Batman spoke. "Shadowcrest, you said Sarkoth's nurse will heal as much of an injury as possible with the blood it's given."
"Yes," said Shadowcrest.
"I assume the recovery begins at the deepest, most medically-urgent sites and proceeds to more superficial damage?"
"That's a fair description. The details are unpredictable. Plants are wild, after all."
Batman leaned over Sarkoth's nurse, pulling open its petals. He studied Zachary's wound through the translucent sap. He muttered, "Strange, like electrical burns along shearing forces. Damage crosses several organs. Hmm. Only two would be fatal individually. If even the kidney was intact ..." Batman's voice trailed off as he rubbed his chin.
"What?" asked Zatanna close behind him.
He turned around. "Zatanna, I have experience in field medicine."
"Oh." Zatanna blinked then covered her mouth. "Oh!"
"If Abdiel provides as much blood as he safely can, the plant may heal Zachary magically to the point that I can stabilize him with conventional surgery."
"Have you ever stitched up an abdomen?"
"Once, but not from this angle."
"Angle?"
"It was my abdomen."
"How long will your surgery take?" asked Shadowcrest.
"Depends on what the plant can do. Do you have a surgical suite in the house?"
"No, but I still control the embalming shrine. There are also tools in storage from a former mistress who liked to vivisect reptiles."
"Bring all of it. Do you have a pharmacy?"
"We have an apothecary."
"Get me Ringer's lactate solution and some sterile tubing."
"Pardon me," said Shadowcrest, "Ringer's …"
"I'll make it myself. Do you have an autoclave?"
"An autoclave?"
"How about potassium chloride? Produced from potash?"
"We have potash."
"Start with that." Batman looked at Abdiel. "Are you ready?"
"I-"
"Good."
Many rooms away in the entrance hall.
Barbatos continued to study Faust's sketch of Batman. The hall was silent, and once again Faust's curiosity began to exceed his fear. Why would Circe warn him about some common mercenary serving Giovanni Zatara's whelp? Surely the stranger couldn't be Barbatos' champion. There was no connection. But who else would wear a variant of his symbol? It couldn't possibly be a coincidence. These senseless congeries were driving Faust mad.
Still, Barbatos seemed content to study the image.
Faust coughed into his fist. "Ahem."
Barbatos wrinkled his giant bat nose. He snorted, nearly blowing Faust over. Very slowly, his eyes lifted over the rim of his spectacles. "Aye?"
"A thousand pardons, great one. I was just curious whether you recognized that man. If he wears your mark in defiance, I would happily smite him in your honor."
"As a matter of fact, I don't recognize him. Must be a coincidence."
Faust sputtered. "But his defiance."
"Hard to tell defiance without context, innit? Maybe the jolly bloke just likes bats. Can't fault him for that."
"No," said Faust crestfallen. "Forgive my enthusiasm."
"But you went through the effort to bring me here, so I do wonder. Why are you interested in this fellow? Who is he to you?"
"It's a long story, far beneath your lofty notice."
"Nah, now I'm curious. Lead me to the bugger, and you can tell me your tale on the way."
"Surely, but if you-"
Barbatos snatched Faust in his claw and took to the air. "Bloody ripper, mate. Let's give it a go."
Back in Giovanni's floating study.
Shadowcrest was as good as its word. Piles of chemistry equipment, surgical tools, bottles of sundry liquids, and other dangerous requests started falling out of the sky. With masterful speed, Batman set up a crude laboratory. After several minutes of chemistry with an alarming number of substitutions, he had a beaker of homemade Ringer's solution, a liquid that could replace lost blood well enough to keep a body stable.
At Batman's direction, the barbed vine on Sarkoth's nurse snaked around Abdiel's arm and bit into his bicep. Tiny bulges of blood started pulsing down the vine toward the base of the plant. Zatanna couldn't watch. Shadowcrest watched impatiently. Catwoman paced around the operation, considering whether she could break the surgical tools without getting caught.
Batman set up a tube to feed the Ringer's solution into Abdiel's other arm. Abdiel sipped an orange juice and gushed, "Thanks a million for saving Zachary. Real sorry how this all turned out."
Batman interrupted in a quiet voice. "Is Faust human?"
"Human? Sure. More or less."
"How do you stop a mage of his caliber?"
"If you want to kill Faust, and you aren't at his level, you need to catch him by surprise with the nastiest spell you have. Or a bomb."
"I meant without killing him."
"Oh, that's impossible. And I'm not just saying that because it would save my uncle. I really don't know how you could."
"On a scale of one to ten, how many vertebrae can he lose before it shuts off his nervous system?"
Abdiel hesitated. "I don't know."
"Can he live with a broken trachea?"
"A broken trachea?"
"Assume its swelling constricts the airway."
"Maybe? He's real tough."
"Can he cast magic with a broken trachea?"
"You're sure interested in his trachea."
"Answer the question."
"Faust can cast with his hands. We learn spells verbally because it's easier."
"What if I restrain his hands?"
"Supposedly the old masters can do magic with their thoughts."
"What if he's unconscious?"
Abdiel paused again. "That might stop him for a bit. Hope you have a plan on what to do with him."
"Oh, he's all about plans," said Catwoman as she approached from behind. She ran a finger under Batman's jaw. "Mind if we talk a minute, handsome?"
"I think she means you," said Abdiel.
Batman checked his work again, then followed Catwoman a few steps to the big white plant. Its capillaries were threading with a faint pink. They looked at Zachary, still dead to the world. The sap was now agitating near the wound, creating little bubbles.
Catwoman glanced aside at Batman. You know how I never ask you for anything?
That's not remotely true.
I have a favor to ask.
Yes?
Botch the surgery.
Batman wasn't surprised. No.
We'll get our interrogation. Zatanna won't know. No one will know.
I'll know.
Batman, please. These two are killers. I can't stand that these scum get to breathe after what they've done. It's eating me up inside. They almost killed my friend.
Yes.
Catwoman growled and pressed her fists to her forehead. Do you have any idea what it's like to have a friend? Be honest.
Catwoman.
What about your cop pal, Gordon? What if he died in that fire? Would you still work overtime with that huge brain of yours to save his killer?
Batman's throat tensed. Catwoman.
No? Then will you do it for me?
You?
I know we're not friends. But we're not nothing, right? Will you do it for me?
Batman looked at the floor. If it makes you feel better, I'll probably fail.
Excuse me?
I'm not a doctor. This is a surgery I've only read about. I hardly have a third of the tools an abdominal specialist ought to use. I'm in a tremendous hurry. I don't have a team. There's no telling how much this plant will help. And the procedure doesn't offer great odds under the best conditions. In all likelihood, Zachary won't survive.
Before he even finished, Catwoman was sadly shaking her head. Oh, please. He'll be fine.
How do you know?
She looked at him with disgust and pity.Because you're Batman.
Batman finally looked at her. I don't always get what I want.
"Stop your twitching," said Shadowcrest. "We can make use of this time as the nurse works its magic. Take the-"
In the middle of his sentence, Shadowcrest disappeared.
The humans looked at each other.
"Huh," said Catwoman, "It finally kicked the bucket."
With a flicker, Shadowcrest was back, now facing Batman. It's stare was cold. Nearby sharp objects began orbiting its hands.
"You," it said to Batman in a stony voice. "Who are you really?"
Before Batman could speak, Zatanna stepped between them. "What are you talking about?"
A chair sped into her legs, carrying her out of the way.
Without taking its eyes from Batman, Shadowcrest said, "Mistress, I am concerned because Lord Faust is nearing my final bastion at great speed, and he is carried by a giant bat."
