That's Right, Dorothy…
Things had been going rather well until the aircraft was hijacked by some men waving small machine pistols around. I could have simply stunned him, but that would have involved breaking several laws, and I wasn't in the mood today. Whilst he had shot the pilots, they had survived but the plane needed a new pilot. When the hijacker wanted someone to go up and fly the plane, I looked around and saw that nobody had the experience or had any idea how to fly. With a sigh, I unhooked my belt and slowly got up so I didn't cause the clearly crazed man any alarm.
"I can fly" I told him.
"Well get your fucking arse up here" the man said. I didn't need telling twice and made my way to the front of the plane. He gestured me into the cockpit and I took the pilot's seat whilst gazing at all of the dials and display readouts. I hesitated due to the fact I had never flown something like this before. "You said you could fly" the hijacker said, "But I think you're lying. I better kill you now" and I decided to tell the truth rather then a lie.
"Oh I can fly, but I was just making myself familiar with the cockpit. Whilst this is the same as any other of this type, planes all have their quirks" and the man seemed to accept this. I slipped on the pilot's headset, strapped myself in and settled back to watch the auto pilot doing the flying.
"You're sure you can fly this plane?" asked the man who seemed to be the leader.
"Well there should be two people qualified to fly the aircraft, but I guess you broke that rule" but the man didn't like my joke. He jabbed the gun into my ribs and told me to fly the plane.
"Just get us where we're going" he ordered.
"Where's that?" I asked.
"Heathrow" the hijacker said. I nodded in understanding, glanced at the gun and then turned to my cockpit displays. It took me five solid minutes of asking to get permission to talk over the radio.
Coconut Airways 272 – Do you read me over?
"Heathrow Airport from Coconut Airways 272. First of all, let me explain one thing to you. I am one of the passengers but am capable of controlling this aircraft. The hijacker leader is with me in the cockpit and can hear everything we are saying. Over".
272 – Heathrow. We want to speak to the leader of the hijacking group. The leader took the discarded co-pilot's headset, and held the mic so he could talk.
"This is the leader of the hijacking group. You may call me Mohamed. We are hijacking this aircraft in order to escape from our corrupt government in Afghanistan. We will hold this plane and its passengers and crew as hostages until we are granted political and personal asylum in the UK" and the people on the other side of the radio conversation seemed to be talking about something.
We understand your concern, Mohamed. We see your plane on course to land at Heathrow, but the runways there are out of action because of bad weather. It would be too dangerous to attempt a landing there. We can divert you to another airport…
"No!" said the hijacker leader. "We will land at Heathrow. Any attempt to stop us will result in the deaths of hundreds" and he left the threat idling over the airwaves. Nothing more came back from whoever had been talking, and I saw the distant lights of the airport ahead.
"I think you'd better strap yourselves in" I told him. With careful movements, I went through the normal manner of setting the flaps, reducing speed and lowering the gear. "Coconut Airways Flight 272 to Heathrow Approach. This is one of the passengers speaking. Request permission to land".
Heathrow Approach to Coconut Airways Flight 272. permission to land is denied. I repeat: permission is denied. Assume a circular path and await further instructions
"Approach from 272. I have many passengers – myself included, injured members of the flight crew and hijackers. One of them is with me now and seems to want to land here. I am going to make a completely normal landing, but request medical staff to be on stand by" and with the voices in the headset still talking to me, I put the plane on the ground. As I expected, a couple of Ambulances waited out on the ramp we had been put on. Things kicked off when the Army attempted to shoot through the window.
"Do something" the hijacker leader said. I didn't have a chance of shouting out because the Army would have shot me dead in a mistake. I leant over and flicked the radio on.
"MAYDAY…MAYDAY… this aircraft is under attack. MAYDAY… MAYDAY… Mayday? Why not Shrove Tuesday, or Ascension Thursday? 2nd sunday after pentacost" there was a pause until a new voice came over.
Aircraft calling Mayday. What is your position?
"My position is right in front of the tower"
You are on the ground? This is most unusual
"So is people shooting at me!" I shouted into the mic. "There are terrorists who are heavily armed and dangerous. I don't think they would be too upset about shooting us all on here" I added. At that point the Army burst in through the main doors with guns blazing and then I could hear Hermione's voice.
"Harry!" the world went black and then I saw Hermione's concerned face looking at mine. "You were having a nightmare" she added.
"Oh" I replied.
"Last time you eat cheese before bed" Hermione muttered.
