"Mr Potter" Snape sneered at Harry. "Can you explain the uses of a Bezoar?" and Harry shook his head.

"That I can be, yer greasy hair devil. The stone in question can give a person a chance from Davy Jones himself, Arghhhhhh" Harry replied.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for your rudeness, Mr Potter" Snape said. "Can anybody else explain three uses of Dragon's Blood?" he asked the class.

"The blood of a dragon can be used only in the cleaning of a ship's galley, polishing cannons and boiling to throw into the faces of your enemies, Argghhhhh" Hermione said. "Tis true it is a horrible and cursed life you be leading afterwards" she added.

Ten more points from Gryffindor" Snape said, but he was still no closer why the entire 6th year Gryffindor class had all dressed up as characters from muggle novels. They had come to breakfast this morning parading some kind of statue – appearing to be pasta and two large meatballs - around the great hall, and several members of the other three houses had realised the importance of the statue and had run out of the hall and also dressed like the Gryffindors. He wondered if it was some obscure muggle religion he didn't know about.

"We shall be taking a test now" he told his class.

"Beggin' yer parden" Dean Thomas drawled, "But ye'd be going into our good grog drinking time. I'lls be shivering thoust timbers if youst be doings that. Yo, ho ho and a bottle of rum" he added.

"The scurvey dog tried to make us do a test, so I say we give him the black spot" said Parvati.

Black Spot, Black Spot, Black Spot, Black Spot, Black Spot chanted the Gryfindors.

"All hands be silent!" shouted Seamus. "Severus Snape, terror of the Hogwarts school, tried to give children a test. All those in favour of putting him on an island with a pistol with only one shot in it raise ye hands" and all of Gryffindor raised their hands.

"Call away a boat, and clap that man in irons" called a gleeful Lavender.

"Let us hold a feast to celebrate the going of this son of a sea witch" Ron suggested. Before he knew what was going on, Snape found himself being placed into heavy iron chains and dragged from his classroom by the Gryffindors with drawn swords. They put him into a boat and rowed him to the single island in the lake and gave him a pistol with a single shot in it.

"Try not to miss" Harry told him as they got into the boat again. "I'ds be hating to puts you outs yur misery" and the boat rowed off with Snape's yells behind him. The Students all wearing the same type of clothes paraded the statue around the great hall that evening and bowed to it.

"All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and may we be touched by His Noodly Appendage" they all said in unison, and bowed again.

"NOW ON TO THE STRIPPER FACTORY AND THE BEER VOLCANO!"shouted several of them, and everyone rushed out the hall to the waiting coaches to take them to Hogsmeade. The group invaded the Three Broomsticks and the Hog's Head and ran riot over the entire village, causing no end of trouble for the DMLE – some engaging in actual swordfights with the magical law enforcers! That evening, and after reading all of the reports he had been sent, Dumbledore made the wisest decision he would ever make.

There would be no repeat of this year next year

A/N:

A shout out to my fellow members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. May we all be touched by His Noodly Appendage. I, of course, dressed up in full Pirate regalia as my religion calls for. I also did a full shift at work dressed in the same.

The Bestest of Regards, and may ye dance with the devil… yer bilge rats"

Pixel

Ramen