"Soldier, may I ask what is it that you are doing?" Ultra Magnus asked, walking up to Smokescreen who seemed lost in his thoughts. "Shouldn't you be training?
"Just thinking." Smokescreen replied."Uh, sir. Sorry." Smokescreen nearly forgets to call Ultra Magnus 'sir'. It has been awhile since he's called someone 'sir'. Now that Ultra Magnus arrived, he had to start saying it again. After all, Ultra Magnus is in second command, off the book protocol, something Smokescreen stopped after the graduation. Now that Ultra Magnus is demanding it from everyone excluding Optimus, Teama and Bianna, had to call him 'sir' or 'commander' or in Bianna's case; 'father'.
Smokescreen missed the father-daughter reunion. He hated that he missed a few big things such as the downfall of Darkmount and Bianna finally meeting her father. He wished he would've seen it. To Smokescreen, Bianna deserved to meet her creator. And since Ultra Magnus spent cycles after the exodus searching for her, he deserves have his daughter.
"About what, I may ask?"
What was Smokescreen's problem? He didn't know, too much was spinning through his head to exactly figure it out.
"Everything..."Smokescreen finally said, unsure of what else to say.
"By everything, do you mean fighting the Decepticons? Protecting Earth and it's inhabitants?"
"No, which is weird." Now that he thought about it, the was and the Con's were nowhere near on his processor. After all these years, the war and the Con's seemed to have become an everyday thing. It would feel unnatural for the Con's to not be on his mind.
"Then what do you mean?" Ultra Magnus asked in a friendly tone.
Smokescreen paused, debating on whether or not to tell him the truth. Who else could he tell? He couldn't talk to Tier, she's already worried enough with their sparkling on the way. Bianna was busy with her own family. Optimus was out with Teama searching for any signs of Decepticon. He didn't want to talk to anyone else, he already burdened them with his problems. Perhaps, he should tell Ultra Magnus so he's not out of the blue.
"Well...first I learned who my creator is after a life time of thinking that I didn't have one to begin with. Then my mother was the younger sister of Alpha Trion and she was killed by my creator. Then, I decided to be the creator to a sparkling, then I got married, -"
"Wait a moment soldier." Ultra Magnus said, leaning against a table. Smokescreen fell silent, he didn't realize he was rambling."One thing at a time. Tell me about your mother."
"My mother...for the longest time...was the only family I've ever known." Smokescreen swallowed down the lump in his pipes, mentally beating himself up. He hated feeling the same feeling about his mother or when someone brought her up. He wanted to be strong, he had to. What choice did he have? He couldn't risk having any emotion-
"Soldier." Ultra Magnus stated, interrupting Smokescreen's mental beating. He blinked and shooked his head.
"Sorry sir." He cleared his pipes and continued. "My mother raised me, all alone, protecting me, saving me, loving me just like any mother would for a sparkling. She sacrificed so much for me that...I can't even put into words how amazing she is, how strong she was..."
"What was her name?"
Smokescreen had to remember for a moment. He knew she went by two names. But if Magnus knew her. Which name would it be under?
"Acrion...or Lady Acrion as some know her." Smokescreen admitted honestly. Might as well admit her real name and not her incognito name.
"Lady Acrion...is your mother?" Ultra Magnus asked, a hint of shock in his voice. Of course he would be surprised. Everyone else was, why wouldn't Ultra Magnus be surprised? Acrion must have hidden him pretty well if only a few bots knew of his activation. After a moment of awkward silence, Ultra Magnus cleared his pipes and continued. " I was not aware that she was having any affairs, let alone a sparkling."
"She didn't want anyone to know. " Smokescreen said, leaning against a wall. "She figured it would be safer for her and me that no one knew about me..."
"What is it?" Ultra Magnus asked, hear the edge in Smokescreen's voice print.
"I think...it's because of me...my mother's life was difficult.I think, I caused her so much pain..."
"No." Ultra Magnus replied quickly. " I remember Acrion when she was young. All she ever wanted was to have a family. She dreamed of finding a mate, having a sparkling, raising that sparkling. She was more family oriented than her mother." He paused, debating on asking the painful question that would hurt anybot's spark. "Was she killed by her mate?"
"She didn't marry, she left my...creator..." Even after a few months of not saying it, Smokescreen still couldn't say 'my creator' without cringing in fear and pain. The wounds may not be fresh, but they hurt as if they were. Nearly every time he heard that word, memories would invade and then, Smokescreen would be reliving those moments. Those moments he suffered torture far worse than the academies. The agony of the revelation, the fear of who Smokescreen was...
"Who is he?"Ultra Magnus asked, trying to get Smokescreen's attention. Smokescreen blinked back into reality again.
"I'd rather not say, I'm kind of ashamed of him."Smokescreen forced down the smile. Those words were too familiar to him.
"I see." That was one thing Smokescreen liked about Ultra Magnus, he didn't hover or provoked the situation unless needed. He was also patient, which was rather surprising. " May I ask, was Bianna ever ashamed of me?"
"No, I doubt it." Smokescreen replied honestly. As far as he Smokescreen knew, Bianna wasn't ashamed of him. If she were, she hid it very well." I think...she was hurt for awhile...I think she believed that you left her after her activation. Then she understood after she found out. I doubt that she ever felt ashamed."
Ultra Magnus let out a very faint sigh of relief. Could anyone blame him? Bianna's his only sparkling, and for a while, the only family he had left. Smokescreen looked down at his landing pads again.
"That's another thing," Smokescreen continued." I'm so worried that I'm not fit to be the creator this sparkling deserves. I mean...I have no experience, I have no idea what to do."
"It is a lot to take in." Ultra Magnus stated calmly, remembering when he first became a father. Of course, that sparkling died not long after his activation. Even after Bianna's activation, he still felt he wasn't ready. But then again, who is ever ready to become a caretaker?
"Yeah."Smokescreen's gaze went to the door again, staring at it blankly." I guess I'm a little shaky about being a dad. Especially when I have no idea what I'm going to do."
"Did you not have a father figure in your life, Soldier?"
Smokescreen flinched, anger, hate and pain swirled around his spark like the human term 'tornado'. Just thinking of how inadequate he felt about this situation made him hate Roads even more. Maybe, if Roads wasn't a coward, then maybe Smokescreen would at least have a rough idea on how to raise a sparkling. Maybe, if Roads were around, Smokescreen wouldn't have felt so alone and betrayed...
"Soldier Smokescreen?"
"I'm fine." Smokescreen said without thinking, like someone woke him from a dream.
"You did not answer me." Ultra Magnus stated gently. " Do you or do you not have a creator?"
For a moment, Smokescreen thought about telling Ultra Magnus the truth about Roads. But, how would Ultra Magnus take it? The rest of the team seemed to be alright with it, except for Bulkhead who kept trying to drill it into Smokescreen that he was the product of a Decepticon. Quickly, he dropped the idea. He couldn't risk having the commander having bad thoughts about Smokescreen. Not at this rough time in the war."No sir, I only had my mother."
"Is it too painful to talk about him?"
Smokescreen grinned, Ultra Magnus has no idea just how much of an understatement that statement is. "You have no idea...sir."
"I see."
"I mean, when the sparkling gets here, I don't know if I'm ready...but I already said I would."
"Soldier, no caretaker is ever fully ready to be a caretaker. " Ultra Magnus said." Not even I was ready to be a caretaker for Bianna."
Smokescreen's gaze looked at Ultra Magnus. It was kind of surprising to hear Ultra Magnus say that he wasn't ready for something. Ultra Magnus looked over at Bainna, who was teaching her sparklings human terms.
"Before Bianna came," Ultra Magnus explained. "Her mother, Magnette and I, tried to start a family. It was always her dream to have a big family, and I was willing to do anything to help her get her dream." Ultra Magnus swallowed down the lump in his pipes, like any other mate, it still pained him to speak of her. Perhaps this is why Smokescreen doesn't want to speak of his creator, it caused too much pain.
"Anyway," Ultra Magnus continued." She became overjoyed when the first one came, she had so many plans and I am quite surprised that she did not faint because of how happy she felt." Ultra Magnus crossed his arms as he prepared to admit the name of the first sparkling of the many he and his mate tried to have. With the struggle of hiding the pain, the sorrow and the nostalgia, he continued." Rim, was the boy's name. He was the most beautiful mech either one of us have ever held. However, he didn't survive. That happened with just about every sparkling Magnette and I had up until Bianna. But she was activated prematurly. But at least she lived and her mother and I were going to do all that we could to keep her that way, even keeping her in isolation. That's why I couldn't see Bianna as often as I wanted to. Being that she was so premature, her system's were weak and more likely to get infected with any disease on Cybertron. Since I was on the field, I didn't want to risk her dying because of my selfish want to see her."
Smokescreen looked away, it was pretty intense. Something he didn't expect to hear from Ultra Magnus. From the stories he heard from everyone at the base and back on Cybertron, Ultra Magnus was always the bot who didn't prefer the more intense things of life. He was just a play by the book, rules are of the most importance type of bot. It just sounded more out of character for Ultra Magnus.
"How can anyone tell if they are ready?"Smokescreen said without thinking.
"There is no way to tell."Ultra Magnus replied." You, Smokescreen and Tier, will know when the time comes."
"But I have to know before the kid's born. I have to be at my best, to give my kid what he deserves."
"He?" Ultra Magnus asked, confused on how Smokescreen was certain that the sparkling was a mech.
"Generally speaking, I'm not saying the kids a mech or femme yet." Honestly, that was the truth. It was out of habit for Smokescreen to call every unknown protoform a 'he' because, while he would end up being babysat at the Medical Corp. Sparkling Care, nearly every protoform there was a mech and he believed, at the time, every protoform was a mech. Until Acrion set him straight with that thought process.
"You still want what is best for the sparkling?"
"Yeah."
"Yet, you do not know what is considered best because you had no example to copy from while you were growing up."
"Exactly."
Ultra Magnus paused, looking at Bianna's sparklings. It amazed him that she knew how to take care of sparklings. She wasn't allowed to be around any of the other sparklings while she was growing up. But perhaps, this was instinct that came with her after her sparklings activation. Could a mech have those instincts? Ultra Magnus watched Magnette take care of Bianna throughout her life span, so he got rough idea on how to take care of her if he ever got the chance. That's when an idea came to him.
"Soldier, I am willing to put training my grand-sparklings aside to help prepare you for your sparkling."Ultra Magnus decided. Smokescreen jumped a little. He didn't expect someone to really help him in this situation. But perhaps it was for the best. If he wanted to be the best caretaker for the sparkling, he needed help.
"I would be honored, sir."
