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Batman 1939: Swimming in the Styx

Chapter 22: Making Good Impressions


There were two hundred and thirty skyscrapers in the Gotham City skyline. This was a record, but quantity alone did not define a city. Gotham skyscrapers were unmistakable because they were tight. In a typical (some said well-adjusted) large city - Chicago or Metropolis - tall buildings were like mesas in the desert, Each stood alone, separated by boulevards and squares. Even alleys were a buffer. But Gotham's towers grew like trees in a jungle, where foliage crossed above and roots mixed below and vines tied trunk to trunk. It was an architecture of friction. Every city had underbrush, that low weave of shops and townhouses and churches, but Gotham took this brick-to-brick proximity and made it vertical. The street canyons were cluttered with cables and bridges. There were clotheslines and baluster decks at every level. Roads stacked upon rails upon roads five layers deep. Pipes carrying a dozen contents and odors arched so high, their shadows covered the seagulls and the rooftop signs for starched shirts.

Of course, Gotham had no monopoly on claustrophobia. Other cities built tight avenues. When in doubt, the other feature that distinguished Gotham was its most Gothic decoration, its menacing grotesques (laymen called them gargoyles, but this was only true for those with waterspouts; the rest were grotesques). These stone carvings were legion in the city, their cold eyes leering from every cornice and ledge. Finding a street without twenty grosteques hiding somewhere, somewhere in the eaves above was a challenge.

Wonder Woman leaned against a eagle-shaped grotesque and surveyed the city. Gotham wasn't pleasant to behold during the day, but at least it didn't seem savage. The patterns of the tiny cars below could have been the innards of a clock or an ant colony. Not flattering comparisons, but nothing degenerate. No one crusaded to rid the world of clocks or ants.

Well, she conceded, perhaps someone around here did.

The bells of an unseen clock thundered the hour. It was five in the afternoon. Otis the Ratcatcher had been clear in his instructions: visit the roof of this abandoned building at five in the afternoon to hear the Batman's response. Wonder Woman looked around. She was alone, but she would wait; she had little else to do. Thirty minutes later, she was about to leave when she heard someone struggling up the fire escape. She looked over the edge of the roof. It was Otis the Ratcatcher. He wasn't wearing his mask, and there were six rats on his shoulders and head and another in his coat pocket.

He looked up and waved. "Hello!"

Wonder Woman waved back, and when he reached the top, she helped him onto the roof. He huffed, and his rats scattered away. "Sorry I'm late. I'm not used to keeping to a schedule." He patted fur off his coat. "Hope you ain't too cross."

Woman Woman was cross, but she was moreso gripped with anticipation. "Thank you for seeing me."

"My pleasure. Here, let me show you one of my residences."

"You own property?"

"Well, 'own' is a strong word." The Ratcatcher went to a loose roof tile and slid it aside. "Come on in."

Under the tile was a rope ladder leading to a small room lit by two dusty windows. There were three plush chairs and a dirty bed. In the corners were piles of trinkets – from wedding rings to marbles. The room smelled like mildew and soft cheese and despair.

Wonder Woman followed the Ratcatcher down and stood awkwardly while he paced around.

"Here we are! Welcome, my dear, to Casa del, uh, me."

Wonder Woman held up a finger. "I believe you mean casa del mio."

"You speak Spanish?"

"Yes!"

"Huh. Who'da thunk it?"

"I thunked it. But it took great practice."

"You're not from around here are you?"

"I am a visitor to this nation."

"No kidding."

"I'm glad we meet above the ground."

"My doctor says I need more sunlight. And he keeps wanting to give me a rabies vaccine. So I met him halfway."

What is this place?"

"Back in the day, some land baron had the idea to lease properties on this street to the local political clubs. Being close together was supposed to 'foster democracy' or some tripe. They were all abandoned after the mayoral election of '34. No one's touched'em since."

"What happened in the mayoral election of '34?"

"Kid, if you ain't knowing, you ain't want'a know."

"What was this building?"

"This here property was an office for the Gotham Republicans."

Wonder Woman pointed out a window. "And that vacant lot across the street?"

"That old plot used to be the Democrats."

"And that one?"

" That property was with the Farmer-Labor Party."

"And that one?"

"That's a Communist plot."

"Oh."

"Yep, they're everywhere."

"Otis, thank you for showing me this, but were you able to contact Batman?"

He smiled and stuck his thumbs under his armpits. "Sure was."

"And what did he say?"

"Oh, he's all too happy to meet you."

"Excellent! Where? When?"

"That's where things get interesting."

"How?"

"I do have a time and a place, but I also got some rules. He says you follow these rules or he doesn't show his face. Er, hood. Mask. Whatever he's got. Hat? Could be a hat."

"What are the rules?"

"He'll meet you at the old Seaside Smelting plant just south of Tricorner Shipping. Come at midnight tonight."

"Okay."

"Come alone. If he sees anyone else around, he's gone."

"Fine."

"Come unarmed. No spear. Oh, I should mention that I told him you had a spear."

"Otis!"

"Sorry. I was trying to make conversation with the guy, and that's a real challenge. Carrying a spear seemed noteworthy. Sue me. But don't bring any weapons, okay? And don't sue me."

"Fine."

"Now, when you show up, he says there's going to be a radio in the middle of the building. It's out in the open. Can't miss it. He told me that he doesn't want to meet you in person until he talks to you through this radio. Guess he's worried you're up with cooties or something. Get to the radio, speak into the handset, and he'll introduce himself."

"Is that all?"

"That was about it. Good luck with this guy. He's always nice to me, of course, but I can't promise he'll be like that for every- hey, where are you going?"

Wonder Woman was briskly climbing the ladder back to the roof. "I must find this site now so I don't get lost tonight."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay longer? I'll teach you how to speak English like an American, or as we call it in America, correctly."

"No, but that's very generous."

"Come on, I think I have some potato fritters around here. Uh, some cans of Spam. Most of a checkers set."

Wonder Woman reached the roof and looked down. "Thank you again, Otis. I owe you dearly. My obligations are urgent, but I hope we meet once more."

"Right! Of course. Sure, I have urgent obligations of my own. Lots of, uh, urgent stuff going on down here. You know what they say: a ratcatcher's work is never done."

Wonder Woman nodded. "I have never heard anyone say that. Farewell." She slid the roof tile back into place and disappeared.

Ratcatcher sighed and sat in one of his chairs. There was nice weather out today. But he was often underground, so any weather was interesting.

Four rats raced over pushing a checkers set. They perched on their hind legs, lifting the board with their snouts.

Ratcatcher glanced down. "Nah. Some other time. I'm not in the mood."

The rats stared up in shock, then they turned and shuffled away, their tails dragging even lower than usual.


Seaside Smelting was a three story box of corrugated metal colored every shade of the rust rainbow. It was built right along the harbor, and half the structure was actually over the water, supported by pier struts. The site was isolated. It was the only building on one side of a four-lane road deep in the coastal wasteland between the big shipyards and the big dockyards.

Wonder Woman reached the site an hour early. For the first forty minutes, she found a perch atop a empty factory on the other side of the road and watched. Seaside Smelting had one land entrance, a open garage door. No one appeared. Wonder Woman walked around the land half of the building. She found nothing interesting. She gazed across the water. Toward the horizon was the usual line of enormous freighters, faint shadows in the night, but the only nearby object afloat was a common navigational buoy.

Wonder Woman took a deep breath and walked to the open door. There was a freestanding sign nearby. It read:

WARNING!

DO NOT ENTER!

THAT MEANS YOU!

This site has been condemned for flagrant lead, mercury, tin, and phosphorus leakage. Standing water, all structural surfaces, and the ambient air should be considered poisonous to breathe or touch.

- Gotham City Bureau of Condemnation

Wonder Woman stepped forward and peered into the structure from the entrance. It was dark, though from what she could see, it was just an empty industrial plant. She called out, "Hello?" There was no answer. She called again. "I am unarmed and alone. I come to parlay." Still no answer. Wonder Woman slowly walked into the room. She held her head high. "Sir, our meeting was … discordant, but I bear no enmity, and I beg you extend me the same courtesy tonight. Please come out."

A lone ceiling light flickered on, illuminating a circle of cement floor ahead of her. Wonder Woman resisted a flinch, but the lit space was so empty it was clean. She didn't see any trash or discarded furnishings, just rows of columns reaching to the rafters. She walked into the circle of light. "I come in amicable temperament, but I am not foolish. You could harm me here. I put myself at your mercy as a show of good intention. I pray you have honor and will not take advantage. Do you have honor?"

Another ceiling light flickered on ahead, guiding her forward. When she reached its center, the first light behind her shut off. Wonder Woman resisted the urge to look back. She set her jaw and stepped forward. Another light came on ahead. This light revealed a column in the center of the room. Painted at eye level was a crude yellow outline of a bat. There was a boxy device on the floor below it: a radio.

Wonder Woman approached, pivoting back and forth to stare into the darkness. Nothing moved. After one final look around, she crouched and inspected the radio. It seemed inactive. She lifted the handset from its cradle.

There was a clicking in the rafters. Several large nets covered her from above. Wonder Woman made a noise in surprise, then it turned to bafflement. She grasped handfuls of the netting and inspected it. The nets weren't fabric; they were metal, like chains linked together in a mesh. She was draped with loose layers of this dense mesh. The impact hadn't even hurt.

Wonder Woman called upward. "Really?" She stood and began to pull the nets off. Then the light turned off. There was a mechanical noise in the floor below her feet, and she felt a slight warmth against her boots. Suddenly, the nets were twice as heavy. Her shoulders sagged. Then the weight of the nets doubled again, then again, then again. Her head bent and her knees shook. Wonder Woman struggled to keep her balance, disoriented in the pitch dark. The heavy chains rubbed harshly on her skin as they they pressed against her. She saw sparks near the floor: the radio fizzed and crackled as something ruptured inside it.

The nets grew heavier still, and this finally brought her down. Wonder Woman toppled to the cement, unable to even lift her arms to brace herself. She bucked and twisted, trying to free herself, but it was no use. It was as if a large car was parked on her limbs. Her bronze breastplate was unbroken, so it didn't constrain her chest, but breathing was still a struggle from the pressure on her face. She paused to rest and discovered that the cement was warm against her cheek, and she could hear the faint drone of a machine under the floor.

The single light turned back on. There was a beat of steady footsteps from out of the darkness. Wonder Woman expended a great effort and rolled onto her hip. Ten yards away, near the edge of the shadows, stood Batman. He looked very different tonight. Much of his impressive armor was gone, and he wore no cape. Instead he wore an elaborate harness, and it was attached to a pair of ropes descending from somewhere in the darkness above. On his back was fastened a sort of cylinder. In his hands he carried an odd metal staff roughly half his height. There was an antenna extending over his shoulder. At his belt were clipped an array of devices like the handset with a plenitude of buttons and switches.

He wore no expression and seemed content to stare.

Wonder Woman struggled to hide her annoyance and called out to him. "It is said that a warrior may be judged by the desperation of her opponent," Diana lifted her head off the floor. "So I offer my thanks," her head trembled and snapped back down, "For this high commendation."

Batman slowly circled her, keeping to the edge of the light. Wonder Woman tried to keep an eye on him.

Finally, he spoke, "You were told to come unarmed."

"I carry no arms."

"You brought that cord." He nodded at her golden lasso at her side.

"That ... comes with the outfit."

"You wore the outfit."

"That comes with the mission."

"What's your mission?"

"Release me now."

"No."

"I don't need weapons to hurt you."

"That's why I won't release you."

"Then I'll free myself." Wonder Woman managed to slide her hands together under the net. She grasped some netting near her waist and pulled it apart. The metal links snapped, leaving a small gap. She grabbed more and pulled again.

Batman lifted his staff and sighted down it like a rifle. It spat a ball of liquid fire that landed high on her calves. The fire cooked. Wonder Woman cried out, then bit back her cry with a snarl.

Batman was impassive. "Don't do that."

Wonder Woman took a deep breath and waited for the pain to ebb. "You manly fiend."

"What's your name?"

She took another deep breath and glowered at him. "Diana."

"Diana, you asked our-" he paused, "-mutual acquaintance for my help. What do you want?"

"I asked for Batman's help."

"Yes?"

"Your voice rings true. Yet voices can be mimicked. You cover your face like an outlaw. Perhaps you have merely met this Batman. Or you conspire with him. How am I to know you are who you claim?"

"You're doubting whether I'm Batman."

"Some have claimed Batman is valiant. You are a knave."

"Your earlobes are asymmetrical."

"What?" Diana frowned and wiggled her ears.

"The difference is invisible unless your hair is lifted, such as when you're sprinting or falling or flipped upside-down. I've seen you do all three."

"What is asymmetrical about them?"

"Also, when you tense your muscles, they show vein striations with a clarity that would impress a bodybuilder. That's virtually unseen in women. I suspect people don't notice because you rarely put your muscles under genuine strain."

"Are you saying-"

"We've met. What do you want?"

"I tried to be patient, but I will not talk through this humiliation. Free me."

"No."

"You will regret your acts."

"You're still talking."

Do you really think I came alone?"

"Yes."

"My allies will not wait forever. They will come for you"

"There's no one outside, Diana."

"They don't wait nearby. Do you believe the armies of America employ amateurs?"

"If that was meant to shock me, I knew you were with the military. And no one followed you here except me."

"No one you could track. Do you think I'm swiftest of my sisters? The cleverest?"

Batman paused and didn't respond.

She continued. "You believe me strong? I'm a lamb against their strength. Are my eyes keen? The eldest of my kin spy across a mile on moonless nights. You could tie bells to your feet and they would hunt you just as easily."

"You're bluffing."

"My sisters bluff much better. Did you really think the world contained just one of me? Does the military ever requisition just one of anything?"

Batman stood in thought. He subconsciously opened and closed his hand. Then he pulled a buckle on his harness and flew upward as his two ropes retracted.

The moment he was out of sight, Wonder Woman instantly resumed the fight against her heavy nets. Inch by inch she tore the layers of chains apart. Finally she could reach a hand through all of them, then an arm. A beam of fire spat out of the rafters and cut across her. She cringed against the pain and continued to tear. Another glowing beam sped down, but she had enough slack to roll aside, missing the worst of it. Finally she crawled out of the nets and stood.

The light shut off. Wonder Woman heard movement in the rafters. She felt ahead for the column. Then all the lights in the room began to strobe, randomly flashing with great speed. Wonder Woman had never seen a strobe light before, and the effect of two dozen of them was overpowering. She had trouble standing, not knowing up from down.

Another ball of fire landed between her shoulders. The heat wash knocked her over, but the sting of boiling skin provided clarity. Wonder Woman closed her eyes and stepped from memory. Soon she found the nearby column. Wonder Woman took two steps up the column then jumped. Her arm-span was just wide enough to reach around two faces of it. She hugged it tight, wrapping her legs around as well. Eyes shut, she shuffled upward a few feet then tucked her feet and kicked upward again. She reached above and her hands brushed wood. She seized it. Wonder Woman opened her eyes. The lamps were below her here and less disorienting. She could she the rafter she was hanging from through the blinking haze. Her muscles bunched and she pulled her way up.

In the dancing shadows, she saw a figure ten planks away. She sped forward, hopping nimbly between the rafters. Then the lights cut off. Wonder Woman was mid-leap and almost missed the next rafter. She tripped and landed hard on her stomach, almost falling. The room was black again, but she wouldn't be denied. Wonder Woman unwound a length of her lasso and willed it to light, then held it ahead like a lantern. She could no longer see the retreating figure, but there was just enough illumination to judge her next jumps.

Out of the darkness, another ball of fire shot across the room. It reflected in the metal ceiling above as it sped her way. Wonder Woman ducked, swinging under her rafter like a sloth. The fire splashed against a column, and small flames licked along the wood, but she was untouched. Wonder Woman swung back up and continued her dim pursuit. She moved across the rafters and finally saw Batman at the edge of her glow. He turned to face her. She charged him. He lifted his staff, but instead of a jet of fire, a familiar shower of sparks gushed out the end. Their brilliance blinded her, and she cringed at a memory. He stepped forward and stabbed high. She blocked the strike with her bracers, an enormous heat rolling down her arms. He pulled back and stabbed again, then again. She deflected the second attack, but the third brushed her shoulder and she bucked backward, nearly falling to the floor.

Batman used her distraction to withdraw. He leaned over and carefully jumped to the next rafter, then continued on. Woman Woman found her senses and followed, but when she landed on her next rafter, there was a puff of smoke from the joint at either end. The rafter fell.

Wonder Woman plummeted to the cement below. Five other rafters fell around her, but she was too stunned to notice. Her ears rang. Then the strobe lights started again. Even flat on the floor she felt dizzy.

But through the flashes, Wonder Woman saw a square of moonlight open high on the wall. A figure moved through it. She struggled her feet and half-crawled, half-stumbled to the wall. The last column was only a few feet from the wall. With a running start, she wall-kicked to the column, then kicked to the wall, then back, bounding higher with every move.

Wonder Woman caught the edge of the high opening and felt the sea breeze in her face. She blinked away the strobe-spots. There was a balcony here with a small gargoyle. There was a thin tied around its head. Wonder Woman looked down and saw the cable stretched down over the water. The other end was tied to the buoy, and Batman was using the cable to zip-line towards it. As he approached, the waters around the buoy frothed. A motorboat popped to the surface. Batman reached the buoy, unhooked his harness from the rope, and stepped onto the motorboat.

Wonder Woman sucked down her pain. When her limbs felt strong again, she climbed the gargoyle, then hopped onto the cable. As she surfed down the slick cable, she saw the motorboat had started forward, chopping through the gentle waves. Wonder Woman quickly accelerated to a remarkable speed, and when she reached the buoy, she jumped.

Wonder Woman dived through the air and caught the rudder of the motorboat. Foam smothered her face. Batman turned at the impact, but before he could act, Wonder Woman reached into the propeller. She grimaced but soon the propeller jammed against her arm. She grasped a blade, gave a mighty heave, and yanked it out.

The motorboat glided to a stop. She couldn't see much in the night, but she could feel the dozens of cuts across her hand and forearm thanks to the salt water. Batman leaned over the stern, a silhouette in the starlight. He pointed his staff at her, sparks trickling from its end.

"If you try to climb aboard, I'm going to hurt you again."

Wonder Woman floated steadily and looked up at him. "If you don't let me climb aboard, I'm going to dive under your boat and tear it apart." She appraised his equipment and lifted an eyebrow. "Can you swim in that?"

Batman considered this. Then he lowered his weapon, took a knee, and offered her an arm. Wonder Woman grasped it, and Batman pulled her aboard.

"You're alone tonight, aren't you."

"That didn't sound like a question."

"It wasn't."

"I am."

He nodded. "What did you want?"

Wonder Woman pulled strands of wet hair out of her face, then she crossed her arms and looked pointedly at him. "First, an apology."

"For?"

"I requested a peaceful meeting, and you abused that trust."

"I was as gentle as possible."

She scoffed. "I faced the worst you could prepare for me."

"No you didn't." Batman pulled a gadget from his belt and pressed a trigger.

Back at the Seaside Smelting building, there were several flashes of light from inside. A slow roar echoed across the water. The roof buckled, the walls collapsed, and the entire building was consumed in a burning cloud that rolled into the sky.

Wonder Woman watched mutely until the cloud dispersed. "I suppose that was the worst you could prepare for me."

Batman head-shrugged as he watched the fire. "It's in the same ballpark."

She contemplated the flames. "What is a ballpark?"

He slowly turned and stared at her.

Wonder Woman didn't notice. She asked, "Will the police and fire officials not confront this?"

"They'll be here in twenty minutes. How's your arm?"

Wonder Woman looked at her cuts with stoic disregard. "I endure."

"Good. Here." Batman tossed two paddles at her.

She caught them. "You're asking me to row?"

"Sometime in the next twenty minutes."

"Why should I?"

"You're stronger than me. You broke my propeller. And last time you broke my hand."

"Your hand worked well enough tonight."

"I endure."

Wonder Woman looked annoyed but sat down and got to work. "Did you need to destroy the building?"

"It was filled with explosives. Leaving them for someone to find would have been irresponsible."

"But you contaminated the air with lead and mercury and tin and phosphorus."

"I wouldn't worry about it."

She paddled in thought, then asked. "How did you make those nets so heavy?"

Batman busied himself at the front of the boat. "Magic."

"Ah. Of course."

He slowly turned and stared at her.


A week ago. The abandoned Seaside Smelting plant.

Matches Malone marched through the site in a hard hat and one of his trademark ugly suit – this model a gruesome plaid periwinkle. A gaggle of construction workers followed behind him.

"Alright then, ya mugs, I want one of those electromagnets they got in junkyards back there under that chalk outline. A big one, yeah, the kind that lifts a truck. And then up there," he pointed to the ceiling, "Find a way to put in a motorized pulley that moves laterally on a track roughly twenty yards that-a-ways, and another big hole in the wall over there. Then let's wire up the electromagnet to city power if we can, but add a backup generator made to look like a old packing crate. Stick that outside. Then I need about twenty hooks on the ceiling with remote control hinges. I'll show you the catalog. Let's run a radio antenna on the roof so we can use them at a distance. Oh, and make sure there isn't anything ferrous within ten yards of the magnet. Or flammable. Those puppies get hot. In fact, let's add an extra layer of cement under there. Any questions so far?"

One of the workers, a young woman with a loose ponytail, raised her hand. "Yuh, Mr. Malone?"

Malone pointed it at her. "Yo."

"Why we wanna put a magnet in the middle of this floor anyway? Those are expensive."

"Hey, dollface, do I pay you to ask questions?"

"You just said-"

"Listen, honey-"

"It's Jenna."

"Tootsie-pop, if you gotta know, I run a little automotive import/export gig, and I happen to be dealing with some characters who I trust even less than your sorry faces, see? This little joint is gonna be a detail shop for high-margin accessories on the sly, eh? But I don't want any punks getting wise and thinking they can nick my wheels. Matches Malone don't like that none. If anyone tries to high-tail it in the merchandise, I can flip a switch and keep the car stuck."

"Then shouldn't we add a garage door or something?"

"Fine, but don't bother with a motor. Just leave it open."

"Look, Mr. Malone, you don't have to worry about keeping your real reasons for this place a secret. If it's some sort of creepy torture thing you can just tell us."

Another worker shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time."

A third said, "We've seen creepier."

Jenna recalled, "Remember the lady with the stuffed animals?"

The second worker said, "And she wanted us to hide all those sawblades?"

The third nodded. "At least she tipped nice."

"And she had that great lemonade."

"That was good lemonade."

"Except for the sawblades."

Malone clapped in their faces. "Hey, quiet you mooks. And I want someone to post that there warning sign in the front yard."

Jenna read the sign and backed away. "Whoa, that'll cost ya, Mr. Malone."

"What! You nickel-n-dime me at putting up a sign?"

"Well it's a liability. The Bureau of Condemnation don't mess around."

The third worker chimed in. "Yeah, they's almost as rough as the meat inspectors."


The present.

Wonder Woman reached a comfortable rowing pace, and Batman noted that it would qualify her for the Olympic team - supposing they had a women's rowing team. He took off his cylinder and harness and laid them down with his staff. Then he found a place to sit across from her and stared.

The Amazons agreed with Men on this: eye contact was a sensitive thing, and starting was rude. Wonder Woman felt especially uncomfortable because she couldn't see his eyes. It was impossible to say where he was looking. She tried to stare back, but it felt like staring at a wall.

Then, with no prompting, he spoke. "What does the military want from me?"

Wonder Woman gave this question more consideration than he expected. "Your incarceration, I imagine."

Batman offered no reaction except for silence. Finally, he said, "You're not American. You did work with the military, but that stopped recently. The breakup was on bad terms, probably something that happened overseas. Now you want to hurt the military, or at least do something they won't like. You need an ally, and by reputation I'm the last person who would betray you to the authorities. Otis Flanagan was a happy accident; you ran into him trying to retrace my steps." He paused. "Am I right?"

"In the essentials."

"Where are you from, Diana?"

"Themyscira."

"Where is that? What country?"

She quirked a smile. "Where do you think, Great Detective?"

"Sounds Hellenic. That fits your features, since I'd guess you were eastern Mediterranean, except for your blue eyes. I'd say Syria. Egypt, perhaps. Neither match your accent, but that could have its own explanation."

"Themyscira is its own country, an island. Your statesmen don't recognize it yet, but it is far to the east."

"The east?"

"I suppose it could be the west you if you were patient."

"Fine. How are your muscles so strong and fast? Your performance is biologically impossible."

"I was graced by the goddesses with many gifts, strength and swiftness among them. The divine care little for mortal limitations."

Batman stared at her for a minute before he continued. "You bluffed about some 'sisters'. Are there other Themyscirans in America? Can they do what you do?"

"I'm the only one here. And my none of my sisters are blessed quite like me."

"You told Flanagan you wanted to find me because you needed a detective. What's your story?"

"So you'll help me?"

"Probably not. But your odds are better if you're candid."

"In brief, I'm an ambassador. I've come to seek diplomatic recognition for Themyscira and thereafter a defensive alliance."

"Against what threat?"

"Nazis."

"You've been attacked by the Nazis?"

"No, but we will be."

"How do you know that?"

"Prophesy."

"Prophesy."

"Through my Queen Mother."

"Your family is royalty? That would make you a princess?"

"Yes."

"Does Germany know your island exists?"

"I pray not, but they will."

"Because your mother's prophesy says so?"

"Yes."

"So you came to America for help."

"I did, but divine guidance sent an American to us first: Steven Trevor, a flying captain of your Army."

"An American pilot landed on your island?"

"Near my island, and landing would be a generous description."

"And he took you to the American government?"

"Yes."

"I'm guessing that didn't turn out well for you."

"It did not."

"Because you arrived with no proof of your country's existence."

"And by our laws, I can bring no man back."

"How did you get involved in the military? Some sort of back room deal to get your representation."

"In essence, yes. I lacked companions, as I was a newcomer, so Steve helped me find living quarters and work to occupy me."

"Sounds nice of him."

"He is extremely kind."

"And he recruited you?"

"No, not at all. I asked to help him."

"And he works for some domestic security unit? An intelligence outfit?"

"I have little insight into the ranks of your Army, but prominent officers give him orders to perform alone all over the country."

"He was sent to protect Arturo Bertinelli?"

"Yes, but I arrived first."

"Why didn't you kill me?"

"What?"

"When you chased me, you could have killed me early on. You were certainly trying by the end. Why not from the start?"

Wonder Woman seemed confused by the question. "I'm an ambassador. It's poor protocol to kill citizens of a prospective ally. Even their criminals. You're an American, aren't you?"

"Do you know why I was interrogating Arturo?"

"Because he wronged you?

"Not directly."

"Because he is a criminal?"

"He's a career criminal. He's been charged with assault, armed robbery, extortion, burglary, and three counts of homicide, and that's not half of what he's done. In most cities in America, Arturo would be public enemy number one."

"But not this city?"

"He doesn't make the top thirty."

She nodded contritely. "I regret that I aided him."

"I guess you learned a few things about what you volunteered to do here after that night."

"Eventually, but first my actions earned the attention of another high officer who wanted Steven's services and my assistance for a extra special mission."

"And what did he want you to do?"

"She."

Batman's jaw froze into a hard line, but he kept his voice level. "Amanda Waller."

"Yes, she said she had encountered you before."

"Small world. What did she want?"

"She offered me America's diplomatic recognition if I would help her fight Nazis."

"She sent you to Europe?"

"No, hidden Nazis. In Argentina. We were told to spy on a leader of spies."

Batman paused. "You killed Carlos Salazar?"

"I didn't, though I dearly wished to. Steven Trevor struck first."

"If your mission was reconnaissance, why did Trevor kill him?"

"He didn't have time to tell me."

"Why did you want to kill him?"

"Because he's a Nazi."

"Killing a diplomat is poor protocol for an ambassador."

"His credentials are forfeit. He told me that he had set in motion many horrid schemes to further the Nazi cause."

"He mentioned this in casual conversation?"

"I can be ... persuasive."

Batman noticed her glance subconsciously at her hip. "Is that killing what caused your break with the military?"

"I'm not certain, but on my voyage from Argentina, my ship was torpedoed. Now I am reluctant to trust anyone with torpedoes."

"Were you on a Navy ship?"

"No, it carried soybeans."

Batman frowned, then his expression went flat again. "So then you swim to America?"

"In part, yes."

"Then you realize you have no one to trust, so you come to me?"

"Do you have torpedoes?"

"Why exactly do you need a detective? To find out who sunk your vessel?"

"I'm trying to find Steven Trevor."

"What do you mean? He wasn't killed at the scene?"

"No! He was arrested. By the time I had the sense to free him, he had been taken away. Now he is hidden in an Argentine prison somewhere. I must get him back, but I don't know where to find him."

"And you want him because he can clear your name with the military."

"I want him because he's my friend!" Wonder Woman spoke this louder than she had intended. She steadied her voice and continued, "I owed him a great deal before, and I believe he killed Salazar as a sacrifice for me as well. I may be the only one trying to help him. If I can't return his favor, if I don't at least make every effort to try, then I'm nothing."

"How do you know he's alive?"

"I don't, but I have faith."

Batman looked past her for a minute. "So you want me to help you free a murderer because he murdered someone you wanted murdered, and you feel that you owe him a favor?"

"A just killing is not murder."

"What makes it a just killing?"

"Salazar was evil. Had he escaped, he would have caused great harm. The laws of his land would not stop him. Only we could stop him."

"What evidence can you show the world to prove that Salazar was a threat? Your testimony?"

"No. If we rescue Steven, there is his testimony as well."

"So two testimonies?"

"Steven heard many more details from Salazar than I heard. His words would lead to Nazi actions across these continents. They would be the proof."

"We're assuming this alleged network of Nazi agents hasn't gone into hiding or started other plans since Salazar was publicly assassinated."

"Yes, we must assume that."

"Let's pretend I'm skeptical. Why should I help you?"

"I admit I have very little money."

"I don't charge a fee. Why should I help you?"

Wonder Woman stopped rowing and looked down in thought. When she looked up, there was a very un-regal glint in her eye. "You are foes with Amanda Waller and her militant peers."

Batman nodded cautiously.

Wonder Woman smiled. "I've learned much of the ways of America's secret leaders, but I am just a visitor. Steven Trevor has been their agent for a great while longer. He knows endless secrets. He was ordered to help protect your Gotham criminal, so he can certainly give testimony on that mission. If you wish to harm these criminals and their civic allies, he can be a weapon."

Batman looked back with newfound curiosity. "That occurred to me, but as you said, he's a seasoned intelligence agent. They're screened for loyalty. How do I know he'd betray his bosses to help me?"

Wonder Woman started rowing again. "He would. I can guarantee it."

"But how can I be sure?"

"Those bosses also told him to keep me in line. But when the moment came, he killed for me. I didn't even have to ask. I'm sure that if I did ask, he would do anything for me."

"And that pleases you?"

"I-" She hesitated. "I don't know how that makes me feel. But I would also do anything for him."

"Anything?"

"I think so. I came to you, didn't I?"

"Assuming he's still alive, you expect me to find a high-profile assassin locked away in the worst depths of the Argentine prison system thousands of miles away before he's executed or dies from exposure?"

"Can you?"

Batman considered this for a long silence then offered a head-shrug. "Maybe."

"Wonderful!"

"And if I find him, you expect to break him out single-handedly."

"Yes."

"And escort him back to America in what would need to be utter secrecy."

"I was hoping you could provide some ideas on that question."

"And if you make any mistakes-"

Wonder Woman shrugged. "Then we're all fubarred."