Chapter 3: Finding Strength
"'Chief Arnook was a man of great valor. His pleasant demeanor earned immeasurable loyalty from his citizens and other world leaders alike. His dedication to society was truly an inspiration for aspiring leaders, and his respect for tradition garnered the approval of the Spirits. He had always endorsed the practice of certain Water Tribe traditions that started losing importance in recent years…'"
While Kano's letter was being read out loud, Sokka felt his stomach churning into a knot; he kept his head held down in respect and devastation. Arnook's death being an assassination was shocking to all. The man was quite peaceful and served as a father figure to the entire tribe. As the letter implied, he had no enemies apart from the Fire Nation during the war. Who would want to target him?
The only possible suspects that came to mind were the Blackcoats— perpetrators of anti-bending sentiments and rebellious activities which have been plaguing the North for quite some time now. The Blackcoat rebels have become more and more toxic for the environment of the bender-majority North, and while the South Pole was also a possible target, the crimes presented by the extremist Red Lotus groups and their rising bloodbenders had plagued the nonbender-majority South for a long time before stricter regulations and harsher manhunts have caused their decline the last six years.
"'Arnook was a man noble enough to have the blessings of the Moon Spirit upon his family. Was it not him who took measures to protect the tribe during the Great Siege of the North? Was it not his daughter who sacrificed herself to protect the Water Tribes?'"
Sokka's chest twisted uncomfortably. His nightmare started to replay in his mind. "My father is in danger. My people are in danger." If the dream somehow foretold Arnook's demise, then surely it was trying to tell Sokka something, right? What if… what if Yue's words foreshadowed something with regard to her people?
"They're going to kill me, Sokka."
His grip on the ice table tightened as his heart seized from worry. He was probably thinking too much; he admitted to himself just yesterday that it wasn't the first time he had nightmares of Yue being in danger and of him failing to save her. She was a spirit, now. Immortal. But he couldn't help it.
All this time, I felt so much pain and anguish, he brushed his hand over the Water Tribe insignia on his chest. Over the portion of it that comprised a crescent moon. And now I'm paralyzed with fear. You're okay, right? You have to be. Please.
And what exactly did she mean by her people being in danger? Was it really these extremist groups that were presenting the threats? Or was it somebody else? If the rebels' nuisance was this conflict she was referring to, he would be more than happy to do his part and help restore peace. He thought he'd been doing just that, in fact, until the guards he'd appointed in the North ultimately failed to safeguard Arnook and left Sokka in disappointment.
"'Such a man lies deceased today with a wound to the chest as repayment of his acts of courage. While we do wish to adapt and move on, the task is risky because Prince Anyu, Chief Arnook's nephew who is next in line for chiefdom, has three more months until he is of ruling age. It is with utmost reverence and urgency that I ask the Avatar to find a solution to this dilemma and provide the Northern Water Tribe with support these next three months. We request your help in restoring peace and stability to our ruling system and eradicating the radical rebels. We are humbly waiting for your response. Signed, General Kano.'"
"Thank you, Juro," Aang stood up and faced the council. "As we predicted earlier, the Northern Water Tribe feels that these rebel groups are a threat to not only its government and culture but also to its way of life."
"We have been detecting suspicious activity there the past few years and have sent many representatives over, thinking they were capable," Sokka huffed, "But now that the conflict has reached this stage, serious action must be taken." The warrior turned to the man next to him. "Minister Yudai, did we receive any updates about who committed the crime?"
"That is rather difficult to answer, Councilman Sokka," Yudai said. "Rumors have it that the newly appointed attendant could be a possible suspect, but Chief Arnook had known him for years before, and there are no records of ill feeling between the two. In fact, they appear to be very close."
"Many guests have also been in Arnook's company during the Tribal Banquet prior to the assassination," President Dao added. "And they are now undergoing interrogation. As the crime was committed at night, it can be assumed that the criminal escaped before the guards from the outer ring could reach him."
"What happened to the inner ring guards? I was expecting the chief's private chambers to be heavily guarded," Sokka questioned rather angrily. "Ever since these rebellious activities began, I took extreme caution in appointing the best guards to specifically watch over the chief. How could they be absent that one night knowing he could possibly be in danger?"
"They were there, but many of them had been...highly intoxicated…" Yudai answered hesitantly. "Which only widens the suspicion that the attendant is the actual criminal. There is a likely possibility that the attendant intoxicated the guards to distract them and committed the crime afterwards, but there is no evidence to prove it."
Aang noticed his brother-in-law getting fidgety and attempted to steer the conversation elsewhere; what mattered to the Avatar right this moment was making sure Sokka didn't get sensitized by this conversation; Sokka wasn't exactly in the best of conditions to take in this much conflict. "We all regret what had happened, and Chief Arnook's demise is a great loss, but what we should focus on is the step to take next."
"General Kano's requests are clear and perfectly reflect the people's demands," Minister Akio said. "He wants Prince Anyu to be given the throne and the Blackcoats to be eradicated. The prince will turn sixteen in three months, and until then, he requests security."
"But so many troops and representatives have already been sent over. The situation only worsened with this sudden murder," Yudai interjected.
"Also, the North is considered a global power at this point," Dao included. "This level of crime in the area is certainly alarming and beyond what we can easily solve. We believe it's best if you step in, Avatar Aang."
"I agree with you, President Dao, but as I'm occupied in assisting Fire Lord Zuko with issues in the Fire Nation, I don't have the convenience to go right away. Zuko and I plan on sending a diplomat over to settle things down for a while. At least until the situation in the Fire Nation grows stable."
"And I will be that diplomat," Sokka announced. "Every year, I attend the Moon Festival. This year, the conflict took place right around that time. It will be easier if I solve the issue while I'm there."
Aang frowned, casting Sokka a look that persuaded him to not jump up to any such commitments, but Sokka looked determined by this, even frustrated that Aang wasn't supporting his decision outright as he'd expected. The warrior was more earnest than he'd ever been to head up North, and no one was going to stop him.
"We all know how attached Councilman Sokka is to the sister tribe," Aang sighed. "So I believe he would be the best choice. It's about time we sent a member of higher authority to handle the job. With security of course."
"Extensive security, sir," Juro said worriedly. "We fear that this conflict is not something that can be solved no matter how many representatives get involved. Even though General Kano seems to be very sure that it's the Blackcoats who are behind this, we don't know for sure if it's them or the Red Lotus. Anything could happen."
"Wait, the Red Lotus?" Sokka asked, eyes wide. "Were there any indications that the Red Lotus spread up North?"
"Well it's obvious thanks to the recent T'Sou-ke Kenji bombings, sir."
Aang widened his eyes and shook his head at the officials, but Sokka's curiosity was piqued from Juro's response. He looked at his brother-in-law with a flash of confusion and alarm. "What bombings? What are they talking about?"
"Nothing, nothing," Aang tried to keep him calm, but the effort backfired when Yudai went in for the explanation anyway.
"T'Sou-ke Kenji is a small village near the Angaruq mountains up North. Three months ago, a series of bombings took place there between a Red Lotus suicide-bomber squad and a Blackcoat encampment. The Blackcoats had seized hold of the village already, but the entire village was threatened by the Red Lotus group that had moved into that territory. The two groups fired at each other."
"And no one cared to tell me any of this?!" Sokka glared. "Were there casualties?"
"Fortunately, no casualties were reported, sir. Hundreds of people would've been put in danger if they hadn't evacuated beforehand."
"They evacuated?" the warrior raised his eyebrows. "Did something happen? Did they somehow know there was going to be…?"
Again, the Avatar shook his head at the council members, but he was caught by a glaring Sokka.
"Sokka, I think you should—"
"Avatar Aang," the councilman interrupted, "Would you like to tell me what exactly happened?"
Aang had a look of utmost worry on his face, but there was a fire in Sokka's eyes that he hadn't noticed before. The airbender swallowed his hesitation and told his brother-in-law point-black, "The villagers had been evacuated by a woman. She apparently told them about what was going to happen, and she also...thwarted some of the bombings."
"Dove in headfirst before more of the mountainside could be blown up," Yudai added.
Sokka raised his eyebrows. "A woman?"
"A young woman," Aang clarified before sighing, "She supposedly had white hair."
White hair. "W-What?"
"She had white hair, Sokka."
A young woman with white hair? Sokka let the information sink into his system, tears automatically churning. "Dove in headfirst…" He looked away, horror and pain swirling as the heat in his eyes. He tried blinking back his tears, pressing his lips together in his efforts to hold in his choking emotion.
"It's believed by many of the villagers that she is the Moon Spirit who came to rescue them," Juro said to Sokka, caution laced in his voice. After all, Sokka's relationship with the Moon Goddess was something they knew about far too well. "No one had seen her up close for this to be confirmed. She was wearing a long cloak to stay hidden, according to one villager's account, and there are plenty of other people who think this is a rumor made up by—"
"What happened? T-To her?" It took every ounce of Sokka's strength to ask.
"We don't know, sir. She supposedly disappeared with the stack of bombs."
A mortified Sokka looked back to Aang, furiously and wordlessly demanding answers. "W-Well? What do you think? Do you think she really was…?" Yue?
But Aang said nothing, keeping his look down. Sokka banged his clenched fist on the table and glowered at everyone else. "WHY didn't anyone TELL me this?! This is a serious issue!" Great, his voice was cracking, too. "And it happened three months ago! Three fucking months!"
"Avatar Aang told us to make sure you didn't hear of this, sir," Juro said. "You were admitted to the infirmary at the time."
And then it came to him. What they were referring to was his attempt at ending his life three months ago, when he'd overdosed on sleeping pills. Aang had refused to get Sokka involved with politics until he recovered, which meant he wasn't given any information on what happened in the months following that incident.
He had a bad feeling about this night for some reason. As if Yue was somehow in trouble and he could do nothing about it. And every time he tried to sleep to fight off this feeling and remind himself that she was a spirit and not subject to harm, he was greeted by nightmares, which shoved all of his heartbreak in his face. He kept losing her over and over again in his sleep, and staying awake for days at a time wasn't helping, either, because then the woman in his heart would find her way out and would taunt him with warped fantasies. Of her head resting on his chest, her lips grazing against his, her arms and braids wrapped around his neck. In his nightmares, she would be on the ground, her impeccable white hair disheveled and bloodied, life draining from her eyes. In his waking states, he would see her smiling down upon him from the skies, waving from her bed of clouds. During the day, he'd watch her swing her feet back and forth as she sat at his desk at work and handed him the next set of documents. By night he would see her leaning against the frame of his bedroom door, fingers beckoning, a strong blush on her cheeks, her neck adorned with his carving.
And he wouldn't be able to handle those hallucinations because she would vanish. Always, she would vanish. She was never physically there anyway.
It was torture. It was longing. It was incommensurable pain that brought him to his knees on the floor of his temporary Ba Sing Se apartment, causing his body to tremble, his pulse to grow weak, his hand to let go of the container of high-dose sedatives.
"Sokka, open the door!" Aang yelled. "Open it or I'll have to break it!"
The warrior's deepest fantasies, greatest desperations, everything loomed before him. Aang kept threatening to blitz the door open, but Sokka shook his head fervently, feeling sleep overcome him with much intensity. His eyes blurred significantly. He lost his balance on his knees, and his head hit the floor. He looked up at the bright, beautiful moon in the sky as he lay on the ground helplessly, feeling his heart rate slow down and his soul reach for the moon like a wave simmering in the heat of passion.
Sokka's thoughts were interrupted when a servant stepped into the meeting room and handed Akio some papers. Akio skimmed through the contents. "It appears we have more information about the chief's behavior prior to the incident. These are personal accounts of a few servants who saw the chief that night. Apparently, Chief Arnook appeared to have been depressed and spent quite a bit of time alone in the Spirit Oasis. He had been lamenting about his deceased daughter."
Aang and the war ministers gazed at Sokka. The airbender grew increasingly worried; Sokka was looking far too pale to be invested in any of this right now. Nevertheless, the warrior insisted on reading the papers, determined to not miss out on anything more than he already did. Akio seemed to shrink under the councilman's glare and passed the papers around to him.
Chief Arnook's final words were hopeless and woeful. The elderly chief appeared grief-stricken over his only child's death despite the incident taking place almost three decades ago. This was likely fueled by the T'Sou-Ke Kenji incident, which had convinced a vast majority of the tribefolk that the Moon Spirit is keeping careful watch over them. His Majesty grew emotional and, among wails and sobs heard by many concerned servants, lamented over his unspecified "greatest mistakes." He admitted that if Princess Yue had been alive, he would have reconsidered her interests and allowed her to marry the man she loved and live a life of prosperity. These words were surprising as Chief Arnook regularly admitted how proud he was of his daughter's sacrifice.
Sokka felt as if he had trouble breathing clearly from the burning lump in his throat. He felt like he couldn't handle it. Several ministers rose from their seats in utmost concern.
"I-I'm sorry, gentlemen," the councilman eventually stood up, handing the papers defeatedly to Aang. "I just... really need to be excused."
When Aang opened the door, Katara didn't waste a single moment by standing outside. "The kids are with the Acolytes," she breathed before she barged into their home, checking each bedroom. "Sokka?"
"He's sleeping."
She slowed her gait, making sure to be quiet as she finally spotted her brother in a room in the corner. He was immersed in the sheets, his expression morose and turbulent as he slept. Katara stepped away from the room and closed the door, granting him privacy as Aang led her into the hallway and sat her down.
"What happened?"
"It was another one of his episodes," the airbender said, worry flitting through his gaze. "He had a panic attack. A pretty bad one. He was hyperventilating and everything."
"But why? What triggered…? Was it something about Yue?"
"You know it," Aang sighed. "He still has the ridiculous notion that Yue's in danger."
"Did he find out about…?"
He nodded, frowning. "Those ministers were more than eager to tell him about it. I told them to keep his condition in mind before the meeting started, but they had zero monkey-feathers to give. Sokka was very upset that we didn't tell him. He kept asking me what Yue would be doing there in T'Sou-Ke Kenji and all those bombings. How would I know? I myself haven't spoken to her since I woke up after the fall of Ba Sing Se. It's been over twenty years."
Katara thought for a moment. "Suppose...suppose if that really was Yue who evacuated those people…What would she be doing there even after the people left? What reason would she have for running off with those explosives and disappearing?"
"She's a spirit. She likely doesn't want the environment to be jeopardized. She also likely didn't want anyone else to be put in danger in any way," Aang theorized. "But to be honest, I'm surprised by this. I thought she was removed from the physical world since she's a spirit, but she's able to take on a human body and interact with the physical world. Obviously she's helping people. I just wonder how long she's been doing things like this...if she always did it, or…"
"I guess that's something we'll never know," Katara leaned back against the wall, bringing her knees up to her chest. "Did he cry?"
"A lot. He was devastated. You know how he is, he can't stand it when Yue and any mention of violence are in the same sentence. You can imagine his reaction when Minister Yudai went on about the Moon Spirit diving headfirst into the bombing area and trying to take the explosives out of their reach."
And the look on Katara's face was that of pure shock and worry.
"And then this happened," he pulled out the documents that they received at the meeting. Katara took them and skimmed over them, her eyes considerably softening.
"He keeps talking about how he and Yue could've gotten married. How they could've had children. How they could've had a wonderful life together if he hadn't been incompetent."
"Of course he'd think that," Katara placed the papers aside, shaking her head. "Aang, it's been more than two whole decades. You would think a person's able to move on in all that time. And it wasn't even a matter of competence. Yue made her decision, and we have to respect that. She saved the world. It had to be done. Yes, it was heartbreaking, but it had to be done…"
"But moving on is not in Sokka's dictionary, it seems," Aang said. "And now he's worried about Yue taking on human forms and getting involved in 'dangerous stunts.' I tell him every time that she's a spirit, but he just doesn't… It's not registering for him, I guess…And whenever I try to convince him that La will take care of her since she's Tui and all that, he starts throwing things and getting jealous and raving about how La didn't protect Tui before and...it's just..." He rubbed his forehead wearily. "It's so much for him all at once. I knew I shouldn't have told him about the assassination, but I felt it's nearly impossible to hide something like this from him. Since he's going to the North and all."
"Sooner or later, he'll have to know anyway," Katara said. "It's crazy how much he's still holding onto her, and she...well, we don't know if she still has her feelings for him intact if she didn't visit him all this time...Well, I know she does visit him. She heals him and everything. She has to be the reason why he's still in one piece up until now."
But Aang knew that Yue hasn't forgotten Sokka, either. There were times— rare times since Yue was always subtle with her visits— when he would catch his brother-in-law swept up by white silk robes and be surrounded by an ethereal glow. The lady made of moonlight, her hair billowing behind her like strands of shooting stars woven into luscious locks, tending to her human lover, either holding him up to her or having him sleep with his head in her lap. The warrior had to be either asleep or knocked out, too sick or too hungover to notice her presence, but she would be there, healing him and redirecting the toxins from the intoxicants out of his body. She was there. Always. Even if for only a blink, a glimmer of light or a ripple of water. She just never allowed him to see her, and Aang wondered if it was because she didn't want him to raise false hopes. If she wanted him to forget and move on.
"I'm worried about him, Aang," Katara's voice wobbled, bringing him out of his thoughts. She held onto her husband's hand. "I'm really worried about him."
