"Master, Nathan has arrived as usual."
"…Good. Thank you, Saber."
I admit, it was relieving to hear. After last night, well… I wasn't sure he'd be back at all. Things were a little… heated. As much as I disagreed with his latest plan, I didn't want to fight him, or hear he was killed or anything. That would be too much. But if he was still coming back here, then at least he wasn't holding a grudge. At least, not too deeply.
"Take it he went right back to his office, so to speak?"
"No, actually. Headed right out back to the garden."
"Oh… Huh; not what I was expecting, but…"
My focus wandered from the mental conversation with Saber back to the pages in front of me. Zach had said some things… if what I think he was implying was true, then… the work of the Einzberns would have the answers I needed. To make him see reason. But these damn ciphers sure felt impossible to crack!
…The pages would be here tomorrow, but there was no guarantee Nathan would be…
"Guess I should at least go say hello" I attempted to joke as I stood up from my desk.
Really, I just needed a break from staring at the damn pages; one that wouldn't get me lectured by Sortiara for 'not taking the war seriously'.
"…Just be careful, master."
"You don't trust him, do you?"
"Not at all. Honestly, I wish you wouldn't work with him."
"I… I can't say I don't understand the sentiment…"
"I will not deny he can be helpful, but even Lu Bu could be helpful under the correct conditions. Just... remember that he is dangerous, magus or not."
"…Right."
The night air had a bit of a chill to it, even without a breeze. It didn't take long to find Nathan; right where I had found him last time, sitting on the black mat. In the silence, I went to join him, claiming my spot on the white mat from last time. As I got closer, I noticed he had his bag with him this time. It was only as I sat down that I noticed the cards scattered in front of him.
"…Didn't think you'd be the type to own tarot cards" I ended up being the first to speak, breaking the silence.
"Used to own a disco ball too" Nathan smirked slightly, still looking down at the cards. "What can I say? I was a weird child; collected all the goofy shit."
"You know how to use them?"
"Not at all" he laughed. " Not for readings, at any rate. Just like how they're used as a narrative tool in some stories; the Fool's journey. Well, that and their design. You?"
"No clue."
"And here I thought I was sitting beside a mage."
"Ok, but, it's not like they're real though!"
"Of course they're real; sitting right in front of you, no?"
"You know what I mean!"
"You're right, I do."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"So, what's the plan for our next move?"
"…Isn't that why you're part of this alliance?"
"Hey, I gave you my plan. You all rejected it. Just because you don't wish to use it doesn't mean the optimal play has changed. If you want a different plan, that's on you all. I did my job."
"Right… and Archer's identity?"
"Honestly? I'm probably not going to figure it out" Nathan sighed. "I admit, my knowledge on famous archers is woefully lacking, and Archer doesn't give me anything to work off of either."
"…"
"…"
"So… any particular reason you surrounded the Fool card with all the others?"
"Back to the cards, eh? Well, I mean, in terms of the Fool's journey, everything revolves around the Fool, so…"
"But who's the Fool?"
"We all are."
"…Then who's all the other cards?"
"Or what; could always be a what. And, well, that depends" he laughed. "Which Fool are we talking about?"
"Now I'm just confused…"
"Everyone is the Fool of their own journey; their own life. So, like, for your journey, your life, you're the Fool, not me. But for my journey, I'd be the Fool, not you. As for the other cards, well, that depends on which Fool we're talking about. Take you and me again, for example. We're different people, who know different people, in different ways, and have experienced different events throughout our lives. So, for you, whoever would be the Magician, would be different than whoever would be my Magician. So, who knows? Perhaps you would be one of the cards orbiting around me, and I could very well at the same time not be represented at all by any of the Arcana in your journey."
"I see…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Still, why are you out here, rather than indoors?"
"Hmm… good question? Perhaps I simply wanted no obstructions? I was considering a prayer before you joined me."
"Wait… you were going to pray? Since when to you pray?"
"I haven't prayed in a long time, but I used to pray quite often, I'll have you know. Prayed to RNJesus, Nuffle… even used to pray to God when I was a child."
"…Ignoring the first two there… you used to pray to God?"
"Yes."
"Like, GOD God?"
"…Yes? Why?"
"I thought you were an atheist!"
"Hmm…" Nathan mused. "That is what I say, but I suppose it's not entirely accurate. Just that what I actually believe is rather… different. Claiming to be atheist is simply easier."
"Then what do you believe?"
"Well, I certainly believe that science is closer to explaining our origin than any theological explanation. But all the same, science can't disprove the existence of God, or even many gods. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, you know?"
"Ok… so then, what-"
"God, or even many gods, may very well exist. However, if they do exist, then they must be existences beyond our capacity to conceptualize. After all, how could an imperfect creation conceptualize actual perfection? It doesn't make sense, and thus, all forms and notion of God within religions are not real. For they can not be real. For they can not be perfect. For we, humanity, have conceptualized them. Created them."
"…"
"…But saying all that every time someone ask me 'do you believe in God' is quite bothersome, so I just default to saying I'm an atheist, and militantly so" Nathan smirked. "Makes it all end faster."
"…But then, how does your wish work? You want to be God, but-"
"But isn't that me, a human, conceptualizing God?"
"I mean… yeah?"
"I suppose in a way, but that's perhaps because I need to further clarify myself. A perfect being must be beyond the concept of time, and must therefor be undying; immortal. A perfect being must be all powerful; able to create and destroy anything, at any point of time, at will. The perfect being must know all, see all, encompass all. That isn't really us conceptualizing God; just the factual requirements of perfection, in terms of an existence. Where we conceptualize God is where we attempt to understand God's will. For example… well, how many times have you heard Christians proclaim 'God hates gays'?"
"Many times."
"Exactly. But… how could they know that? How could humans, imperfect creatures, imperfect creations… how could they possibly know what God, literal perfection, likes or dislikes?"
"…They can't."
"Exactly! Now, that doesn't mean it couldn't be true. But God hasn't made any such proclamation. They are making the proclamation in place of God. They are morphing God to fit their own desires. They are-"
"Conceptualizing God outside of the factual requirements."
"Yes! Exactly that! Thus, their God is a lie. It doesn't exist, because it can't exist, because humanity, an imperfect existence, has conceptualized it. Or use the notion of sin as an example against the Christian God."
"What?"
"Think how the Christian God works for a moment. Rather, think of how God must work for a moment. Everything in existence must be made in accordance to God's will, by the factual definition, right?"
"…Right…?"
"Right! So then how does sin work? For something to be sinful, it must go against God's will for us to do so, right?"
"Right…"
"But if we exist in accordance to God's will, act all according to God's will, how can anything we do be against God's will?"
"…It's a contradiction."
"Exactly! Sin, at its core, doesn't make sense. It can not exist for God to exist. So, as the Christian God must therefor be perfect, have everything be according to his will, yet we can also somehow sin, it's-"
"It's a false God, for we humans have conceptualized it."
"Yes!"
"…And as you would be following the factual requirements of a perfected existence, you would be a true God?"
"Yes, I'd be a true God. Perhaps even the first and only true God. After all, while I've recently found out Zeus and the like existed, they're just… Divine Spirits. Beings of a higher existence than humans, yes, but not really Gods."
"…And you know that because…"
"Because they're in this Reverse Side of the World place, wherever or whatever that is. A perfect existence can only be beholden to itself for it to truly be perfect, so if humanity could shove them aside simply by no longer believing in them, then… well, they aren't perfect existences. They can't be Gods, only Divine Spirits."
"I see…"
"…Ah, but enough about me and my wish" Nathan laughed slightly. "After all, my wish isn't what you should be worried about."
"Really? I shouldn't worry about the man seeking out true godhood?"
"Nope. You should be worried about the priest, though."
"…The priest? Sure, he'll probably help one of the Clock Tower masters to win the war, because the Church just wants someone who will seek the Root to win, but-"
"But while that may have been the way of the Catholic Church in the past, that is not what this priest plans on wishing for."
"…"
"…"
"And you know, for sure, what his wish is?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"Because he told me. Right before he tried to immolate me. The exact wording is a bit fuzzy, but… yeah, he ain't trying to help the Clock Tower magi win this thing."
"So what is his wish then?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just the end of magecraft."
"…"
"…"
"WHAT?!"
"Jeez, dude… no need to shout. I'm sitting right beside you."
"What do you mean 'the end of magecraft'?!"
"Exactly what I said. If he wins, he plans to wish for the end of magecraft. That wish will be the last act of magic humanity ever performs. …Presumably."
"B-But that can't be! That- the Church would be- I-It's tantamount to declaring war against all magi! Hell, even the Church uses magecraft for- …for things…"
"…Care to share?"
"No!"
"Fair enough" he laughed. "But yeah, that's his wish, according to him."
"Could he be lying?!"
"I mean, sure, he could be. I could be. We all could be. But that's not the right question to ask. We could all always be lying. The question is though… are we?"
"It's a lie! I-It has to be a lie!"
"So quick to jump to denial. Telling…"
"There's no way the Church would order something like that!"
"Who says he's following orders?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"See, you jump too quickly to the conclusions you want. Sure, I could be lying, or he could have been lying to me, and that isn't his wish. Would be nice for you; not needing to worry about suddenly losing your way of life and all. And sure, I'd even be willing to agree that the Catholic Church wouldn't order something like that. I mean, I don't know for sure they wouldn't, but you probably understand the current… I guess magical political situation… better than I do, so I differ to your judgement on that. But just because someone believes in the Catholic God doesn't mean they also respect the Catholic Church. Such as my grandmother, for example. But likewise, you can be a member of the Catholic Church and either not believe in, or disagree with, parts of the doctrine or orders from above."
"But to go so far as to basically unilaterally declare war against the Clock Tower…"
"But that's not what he's doing. Not really. Or… maybe it is, but it doesn't play out as you think it does."
"What do you-"
"Bro, come on! Calm down for a second and rally think about it. Work off the assumption that the end of magecraft really is his wish deep down, but he's kept it hidden from everyone in the Catholic Church, and besides himself, on use two know the truth. What happens under every scenario?"
"…Well… If he wins, magecraft ceases to exist…"
"So, he just wins outright. Not much of a war because you magi folk can't fight back with no magecraft."
"Try to tell the Clock Tower… and no one would believe us…"
"For what I'd presume are multiple reasons, correct?"
"Right, and if we tried to tell the Church…"
"No way they take our word over his, and that's assuming we can even talk to someone in the Catholic Church who is in the know about magecraft and shit."
"Which is highly unlikely, if not impossible."
"And if he loses in the war, then the secret dies with him, so… yeah, it's not really a war declaration as much as it is the most effective assassination in history. As of right now, we can't do anything about it. If he wins, you all can't fight back. If he loses, nothing happens."
"…Then we can't let him win."
"Well, I mean, you kids can't. Honestly though… I'm not opposed to his wish. Granted, I want to win for my own wish to be granted, but if I lose and he wins, I can't say I mind."
"You're ok with him erasing magecraft from the world?! I thought you found magecraft to be beautiful!"
"Oh, I do. But that's because it's a method of creation and destruction by humanity. Now, imagine if his wish is granted. Think of all the destruction! OF that the possible future creations and destructions! So many possibilities, so many variables unknown… the potential beauty there is as potentially unending as if magecraft continued to exist. It would take different forms, yes, but I can't definitively say it would be any more or less beautiful. So… yeah. I don't mind living in the world he seeks to wish for. Same with Saber's wish."
"You know Saber's wish?"
"Dude, it's Liu- …it's Saber. If you know who Saber really is, like I do, then Saber's wish is obvious."
"That's… I suppose that's true…"
"The cycle of creation and destruction would continue to exist in the world he desires, so I'm cool with it. Again, would take on different forms, but all the same, it will still exist. Humanity will still remain beautiful."
"I see…"
"So, what about your wish?"
"My wish? What about it?"
"Well, what is it?"
"I mean, it's basically the same as Saber's wish."
"…Huh… I suppose that would make sense, but… Didn't really see you wishing for a land of benevolence though, in all honesty."
"Well, I wouldn't call it that myself. More like… well, cheesy as it is to say, my wish is more like world peace."
Nathan's entire posture changed as soon as I said the words 'world peace'.
"World peace? Your wish is world peace?"
"Something like that, yeah? What's wrong with that? It's basically just Saber's wish, and you're fine with that."
"They are absolutely not the same thing!"
Nathan was laughing hard now, but for the life of me I didn't understand why.
"How are they different?"
"Oh my god, you- you're serious here! Kid, please, what do you think a land of benevolence is?!"
"Uh… a peaceful world?"
"No! A land of benevolence is just rule with the desires of the people first and foremost, guiding policy. That is so much different from blanket world peace!"
"Um, but how though?"
"Ok, look kid, I'm willing to fully explain how your wish is terrible, but on conditions."
…How my wish is terrible? How was my wish terrible?! Coming from the selfish... selfish prick seeking godhood, how was world peace terrible?!
"…"
"…"
"…And the conditions are…?"
"Really, it's only one condition."
"…Which is…?"
"Oh, am I sensing anger there? Hit a nerve, perhaps? Interesting…"
"Are we done here, or what?"
"Alright, I get it. The condition is you have to accept everything I'm telling you a truth, even if you don't want to believe it."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"We have a deal, or-"
"Fine. Enlighten me as to how my wish is so terribly different from Saber's."
"Ok, then. So, for the part you have to accept as true… your notion of the grail is wrong."
"…How?"
"When I met with Rider and the priest that one time, I learned something. Something not in the Einzbern's papers. Basically, the grail isn't a wish granting device, like you believe it is now. The grail is actually a wish actualization device."
"…"
"…"
"…And the difference is?"
"The difference is that, for a wish granting device, you name your wish, and it comes true. For a wish actualization device though… you need more than just a wish. You need to also provide the method by wish your wish will come true."
"The method by which the wish will come true? What?"
"Take my wish, for example. Because the grail only actualizes wishes, not grants them, in order to become God, I need to-"
"Provide it the method by which you'll become God. …The factual basis for a perfect existence, then, is-"
"Is the method, yes" Nathan confirmed. "Immortal, all powerful, all knowing. …In slightly less detail than what I'll give the grail if I win, but yes, the method. Now, apply that to the wish of a land of benevolence."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…I mean, that's just government, no?"
"A refined form of government" Nathan corrected. "A government that actually rules with the desires of the people first and foremost. For a democracy, it's basically the closest we'll ever get to the ideal, if Saber gets his wish."
"Sounds like world peace to me."
"On the very surface, perhaps it does. But dig deeper; see what's actually changing."
"Huh?"
"Use the USA as an example. To get a land of benevolence, that the current government system, and remove all the corruption. See how it doesn't change the system though? Both the Democrat and Republicans still exist at the end of the wish, in some form or another?"
"So?"
"Democracy works on majority rule. A land of benevolence in a democratic sense is simply following that majority rule. But 51% is a majority. So, say a policy is popular with 51% of the population, but also despised by 49% of the population. To the point that they'll riot if it passes. But likewise, the 51% will riot if it isn't implemented. By implementing the policy, you still have a land of benevolence, but there's no peace in the following riot, you see? Within a land of benevolence, because not everyone agrees on everything, you still have creation and destruction of humanity, by humanity. Humanity is still beautiful. So yeah, I have no problem with Saber's wish."
"But for my wish of world peace…"
"Well, you tell me: what is world peace?"
"…"
"…"
"…A world where everyone is happy. Where everyone has enough to prosper."
"…A world without conflict?"
"Yes."
"So, world peace is a land without conflict?"
"Basically, yeah."
"Good. Now actualize it. Remove all possibilities of conflict from all members of humanity."
"Well, that's… Um, I mean…"
"...Well? How would you do it?"
"Um…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Way I see it, kid, you have two options. Option one is to take the utilitarian approach: save the many likeminded people and sacrifice the few. The other is to change everyone's cognition to be exactly the same, now and forever. Really, the second one is your only option."
"So if I go with that, what's the issue?"
"The issue is everyone will be exactly the same. Think exactly the same. You will create factual good and bad, right and wrong. Because all of humanity will finally agree on things."
"So?"
"So what do we do with things we think are good?"
"…We support them?"
"And things that are bad" Nathan nodded.
"We get rid of them."
"And once all that is done? Once all the factual good has been created and the factual bad is destroyed? Then what?"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…Then... nothing? Everyone will be happy; world would be at peace? It would be a nice life for everyone?"
"You would stagnate humanity."
"…What do you mean?"
"I mean you would end the cycle. All the good will eventually be made, and so nothing more will ever be created. All the bad will eventually be destroyed, so there will be no more destruction. Sure, it might be a 'happy' life. A 'peaceful' life. But you would strip humanity of its beauty, because you ended the cycle of creation and destruction. Humanity would stop progressing. It is through conflict that humanity progresses. It is through conflict that humanity shows its beauty. Your wish eliminates all of that, unlike Saber's. That is why I can support his wish and not yours. It is also why, now knowing that this is your wish, I will do all I can to make sure you don't win."
"…"
"…"
"…You would even-"
"Yes, I would even help the priest" he laughed. "For as of right now, your wish is the only one I must make sure never comes to fruition. The wish of the priest is fine."
"…I see…"
"…"
"…But that was only one of the options you mentioned. Why can't I do the other one?"
"You mean take the utilitarian approach?"
"Yeah, that. What's the issue with that approach?"
"The issue is you get the result of the fourth Holy Grail War."
"…"
"…"
"What?!"
"Again, you need to believe me when I say this for this to be worthwhile."
"…Got this from the priest again, didn't you?"
"I did, yes. I also think he would know more about that Holy Grail War than you or Sortiara. Would you disagree?"
"…"
"…"
"No…"
"So, the man who won the fourth Holy Grail War… his wish, too, was for world peace. Or some semblance of it, at any rate."
"But that war ended in that massive fire. That isn't world peace!"
"No, it's not. But that's because he destroyed the grail, rather than make his wish upon it. Reason for that is because he tried this approach; the utilitarian method. But by being a utilitarian, you cut out the minority for the majority. In cases of one-off decisions, that works just fine, in theory and, arguably, practice."
"And it doesn't work for the grail… why?"
"Well… where in the utilitarian method do you change the cognition, or beliefs, of others?"
"…You don't."
"Right. So, for world peace, you must eliminate any and all potential sources of conflict, for with conflict comes a lack of peace, correct?"
"…Right…"
"So, that means for every possible decision of good and bad, right and wrong, no matter how trivial it may seem, you have to make the cut, so to speak. Sacrifice the minority for the majority, systematically, over every possible debate. Now tell me, how many people agree with one another on everything in the world?"
"…I mean, like… nobody."
"Exactly. So, what do you think the grail showed the man from the fourth war, as the outcome of his wish, should he make it?"
"…"
"…"
"…A world in which he's the only one standing…"
"Exactly what I arrived at when I was talking with Rider and the priest" Nathan nodded.
"So rather than make that wish, he destroyed the grail?"
"Yes."
"And in doing so, caused that massive fire?"
"Yes. …Ironically, it stays true to his utilitarian nature. Some few hundred people died from that fire, but it's ultimately less than the amount who would have died from his wish."
"But if all of this is true, then… Then the grail is nothing more than a lie…"
"Hmm… not quite. It's not as… let's say benevolent, as you all may think it is. Nor is it as powerful as you all may think it is. But, considering it can cull the world via the utilitarian method, it is powerful. It can grant you your wish. You just have to be careful with it; think about how your wish will be implemented."
"Provide it the method…"
"Exactly."
…I didn't know what to say. Hell, I didn't even know where to look. All of this… this was too much to take in at once. Everything was- It was-
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Nathan looking down at me, smiling.
"A storm is coming, kid. Hope you're ready for it."
"..."
"..."
"…Is that a threat?"
"No… More like a promise" Nathan laughed and winked, removing his hand. "Check the weather recently?"
"No."
"Well then, no wonder you don't know. Storm's rolling into town, two nights from now."
"Oh… but why not-"
Nathan didn't even wait for me to finish my sentence before he took off back towards the house.
"…Guess that's it then…" I muttered to myself, slowly starting the process of absorbing all Nathan said. "…My wish is wrong, huh? Stagnate humanity… or kill off humanity…"
If what he said is true, then… no. There must be a way. There has to be a way! A peaceful world; a land of benevolence… It has to be possible! It has to be…
A/N
Holy smokes, for multiple reasons O.O
First of all, hello Australia! The day of my last post created a new record for # of views in a single day, and god damn, it was basically all Australia, of all places! Even surpassed the USA for total monthly views for a bit there... Don't know where y'all came from, or if y'all will remain, but welcome to the show all the same xD
Second of all, a huge fragment, I know... I could have done this from Nathan's POV as well, technically, but I figured Johnathan's was more fitting.
Third, as for teasing this big plan of Nathan's... It's coming. Soon. I promise. As in I know exactly how many more posts till it truly kicks off, and that number is 2: one more chapter for Nathan, and one more fragment. Sorry if the wait feels stupid long, but I promise, I'll make it up to y'all (or, well, try to, at any rate)!
As always, my thanks to all of you who stuck with this all the way here \o/
Hopefully you all stick it out the rest of the way with me as well ;)
