To say I was confused and disoriented was an understatement. I had no idea where I was, or how I'd gotten to where I now found myself. It was as if… as if I'd blinked, and suddenly the entire world had changed.
"What the…"
…I'd fallen asleep. I remembered that much; I went to bed. I was asleep. Then… then was this a dream?
Slowly, I flexed my fingers out, feeling the tension set in as the tried to constrict back to their normal position.
"That feels real…"
This had to be a dream, but for a dream… it all felt very, very real. This feeling. This consciousness… this was a first.
The location was also a first for my dreams. A dirt trail, climbing its way up a hill. Sparce scattering of trees I couldn't name. Bright sunlight illuminating the day with clear blue skies. Whenever I had a dream that I could remember, it was never as simple, as innocent looking, as this. Nor was I ever this… conscious of the fact that this couldn't possibly be real, that it had to be a dream.
Yet, despite the location being new for a dream, I couldn't shake off the feeling that it was… familiar. I'd… been here before. At some point. At some time. But when… I could not say. Nor could I quite place the location yet. But the temperature, the terrain… it all felt familiar…
"…Nothing ventured, nothing gained, I suppose."
Alright, brain. I'll bite. What do you want to show me this time?
Slowly, I began ascending the hill, following the trail. There wasn't much to look at on the climb. Nor did I happen to run into anyone. Really, the only thing of note happened to be the fleeting shadows of some birds that flew overhead at one point. Honestly, as far as dreams went, this was rather… boring. Peaceful for once, granted, but… boring.
All the same, I continued the climb. Thankfully, this wasn't one of those dreams where the path then continued onwards endlessly towards the horizon. I could actually seem myself making progress in the climb. Movement was slow though… Very slow. I knew I could walk faster than this, so why wasn't I able to do so here, in this dream?
It sort of felt like… hmm… like my presence here was being pushed back against, in a way. Resisted. Can't say I ever felt that kind of feeling in a dream before either.
"Tonight's dream is just full of oddities…"
It must have taken me a good ten minutes or so to walk a distance that should have taken me no more than six. The entire time, my confusion mounted. What was the point of this? Where was this all going? …Was I actually going to have a benign, pointless dream for once? That would be nice, I admit…
I'd hoped that, upon reaching the top of the hill, I'd find some clarity to the situation. Of course, with my luck, reaching the top only lead to more confusion. Naturally.
"…Isn't that-"
It was different than how I remembered it. Glossier. Shinier. …Intact. But all the same, by just a first glance, I knew what it was I found myself standing before.
"The Parthenon…"
…Then I was in Athens? At least within the confines of my dream? That explains why the terrain felt familiar, at least. I'd been to Athens before, a couple of years ago. But even so, this was… off. If my dream was of my time in Athens, brief as it was, then… where were the other buildings and ruins of the Acropolis? Where were the tourist? Day as nice as this, there should have been plenty of people around, no? So why was I alone? Why did it look like… like this?
…But wow… The Parthenon here, that I'm looking at right now… If this was what it used to look like, back in its glory days…
"Beautiful…"
"Bah! Flawed from its core, more like. How this thing managed to captivate so many over millennia I'll never understand."
Turning to face the sound, I saw Caster standing a bit off to the side, staring at the Parthenon in disgust. Since when did he-
"Caster? What are you-"
"I should be the one asking you that, child" Caster grumbled, turning to face me. "You're standing in my memory, after all."
"…Wait, what? This…. This is your-"
"Yes, this is my past. My mind. My dream. What? Did you truly think this was your dream you found yourself in?"
"I mean, well… yeah?"
"Hmph. Of course you did… I would say your incompetence astounds me, but that would be a lie."
"…The incompetence bit, or the-"
"Take a wild guess, child" Caster glared.
"…Right… got it."
"About time… Now, follow me."
Without waiting or further explanation, Caster took off, heading straight for the Parthenon.
"Wait, Caster. What are you-"
"Getting this over with. What else do you think I'd be doing, child? Now stop with your pointless questions and get over here already."
Realizing that Caster wasn't going to stop and wait, I took off after him. Unlike before, I could actually move at a decent pace again. Hell, I could even run.
I expected Caster to lead us inside, but the moment we reached the staircase Caster came to a stop, and took a seat.
"…Why are we-" I began to speak as I took a seat beside him.
"Quiet, child. There are people inside."
"…"
"…"
"…But this is a dream, isn't it" I asked, lowering my voice.
"…It is."
"So then how would they-"
"The dreams of humans and the dreams of Heroic Spirits are very, very different things, child."
"…Meaning?"
"Don't get spotted. Don't interact with anything. Don't die. Think you can at least manage that much?"
"I-"
"Rhetorical question, child" Caster sighed, standing up. "Come. We don't have much time."
Rather than enter the Parthenon, Caster led me around the temple. Upon reaching the end of the length of the temple, Caster once again came to a stop, though this time he remained standing.
We stood in silence, then. A moment passed. Then another. I wanted to ask Caster why we didn't just go inside? What we were waiting for? Why we were… well… here? At the Parthenon. In Athens. In his dream to begin with. As if sensing the buildup of questions within me, Caster sighed.
"Do nothing but watch in silence, child."
Just before I could ask him what I was supposed to be watching, a small object came flying out the back of the temple, clattering to the ground. It was a bit hard to tell from this distance, but by the looks of it… I wanted to say it was some kind of hammer. I think?
"Stupid little- Of all the times!"
Instinctively, I turned to face Caster to ask what was wrong. Only… Caster didn't seem to have been the one who'd spoken at all. His gaze was laser focused, straight ahead.
Then I saw him. A man sorta like Caster, only younger. Well, younger and with cleaner robes. He was fuming as he walked down the temple steps, glaring at the object that'd just been thrown out of the temple.
...There was no sort of anything. He wasn't sort of like Caster. He was Caster. Just a younger Caster. His voice, he way of walking, his mutterings. There was no doubt about it. He was Caster.
But if that was Caster, and we were here, then-
Ah… so this is-
"Finally pieced it together, child" I heard actual Caster's voice echo in my head via the mental link.
"…Yes" was the only response I could think of back as I watched younger Caster retrieve what he'd thrown and walk over to the edge of the cliff.
Young Caster was too far away to be heard, but he was definitely giving off the impression that he was muttering to himself as he gazed out from the side of the cliff. I wanted to move closer, just a little bit, to try and hear what he was saying, but the instant I went to move Caster reached over and grabbed me, stopping me dead in my tracks.
"No closer than this, child."
"But I can't hear anything."
"You have a vague understanding of what happens, yes? You want to get further involved, then by all means" I felt Caster release me. "But I will not step in to save you."
"…"
Mere moments later, a small boy came rushing out of the temple. If I had to guess at a glance… eight to ten years old? Maybe eleven, but that would be the very most. He appeared to be holding something in his hand, silver and shiny, though it certainly wasn't anything I'd ever seen before.
"Uncle! Uncle!"
That caught the attention of young Caster. Turning around after a brief moment, he faced his nephew with a smile. Even from here, though, I could see it, clear as day. The smile was fake. Strained. Yet, the boy did not notice.
"Perdix, child… What are you doing way out here" the voice was soft, calm, barely audible.
Strained…
"That's-"
"Yes."
"But the legends say this happens-"
"Your legends are wrong, child."
The boy, Perdix, was so excited that it took him a bit to start speaking.
"Take a look at this, Uncle! I did it! I told you I could make it work!"
"One thing at a time, child. What are you doing all the way out here? You know you shouldn't be wandering far from the house. Your mothing is going to be sick with worry."
"I'm sorry uncle, and I know, but… but I just had to come and show you!"
Resting in the palm of his outstretched hand… was that supposed to be a little bird?
"Show me what, child? This? …What even is this?"
"Remember last month, uncle? When we were talking about birds? You said it wasn't possible to make one that could fly, but take a look at this!"
Perdix pulled back his hand and did some kind of tinkering to the little bird. Then suddenly, he threw it, up into the sky. I thought for sure it was just going to come crashing down to the ground, but just as it began its plummet, the wings of the bird began to move.
It… well, I wouldn't call it flying, strictly speaking, but damn. It was impressive to watch as it circled the air for a bit, before slowly descending into Perdix's outstretched hand.
The younger version of Caster, however, seemed less than impressed.
"More gliding than flying, but… an adequate start, I suppose."
"You really think so, uncle?!"
"…Yes, child."
…Jealousy. The sentiment was clear as day, yet Perdix was either too oblivious or too caught up in the false praise to notice.
"Though why are you working on something like this? Didn't you have work already assigned to you?"
"That stuff was easy! I'm already done it all!"
"Easy, you say? Even the-"
"Oh, yes! I was even showing it off in the city a couple of days ago!"
"…Were you now… I see…"
"So, what are you doing out here, uncle? I thought you were working on something really important, and that's why you had to stop the lessons."
"I was… seeking clarity."
"It must be really difficult if even you're stuck on it, uncle!"
"…It is, yes…"
"Could I help you with it?! I miss the lessons, and I would love to work on something with you!"
"That's… very kind of you to offer, child. I'm afraid what I'm working on is still beyond you though."
"Oh…" Perdix sounded a little defeated, but perked right back up again. "Then, can you at least come by tonight?!"
"I don't know, child."
"Please, uncle!"
The sigh was so loud a part of me thought it came from Caster, and not his younger, dream self for a moment.
"I… suppose someone has to take you back anyways…"
"You really mean it?!"
"Yes, child! Just… give me a minute! Go and do… whatever! Just stay close by!"
"…What were you doing here" I asked Caster through the mental link as I watched his younger self go back to gazing out from the cliff, and Perdix began fooling around with his little toy.
"Didn't you hear already? Looking for clarity. Seeking guidance-"
"Praying."
"Hmph. …Yes."
"Who would you ever pray to?"
"What a stupid question... Who do you think anyone would ever be praying to here?! The entire city was dedicated to-"
"Athena."
"…"
"…I see."
"Do you, child" Caster scoffed.
"Depends… Did your prayers ever get answered?"
"You claim to know my story. You tell me then, child, what you think the answer is."
"Not what I think the answer is. What I know the answer is. So yes, Caster, I do see."
Caster would have probably tried to contest that notion, but something else captured our attention.
"Can we go now, uncle" Perdix asked, still running around, trying to catch his little bird like some sort of game.
"Patience, child."
"…"
"…"
"…Uncle?"
"…Yes, child?"
"Do you think I could surpass even you someday?"
…So, this was it then.
The beginning of the end…
"…What?"
"Well, when I was showing off the work you had me do in the city, people kept saying how good my work was!"
"…Were they now…"
"They kept praising me too, saying I was brilliant! That I was blessed by the goddess Athena herself!"
"Blessed… by the goddess…?"
I wanted to tell Perdix to stop. It was clear as day where this was heading. As brilliant a mind Caster may be, he was not good as masking his emotions. Not even when he was younger.
"I think it's crazy though! Everyone knows you're the best around, uncle! If anyone was blessed by the goddess, it would be you!"
"…"
"But I've been thinking… If I keep learning from you, then… maybe one day I could be the best, just like you!"
"Shut up."
The statement took me by surprise, mainly because if anyone was to be speaking, I'd have expected it to me the younger, dream version of Caster. But this… this came through the mental link. Turning my head slightly to look, Caster was standing there, fists clenched, eyes closed. It didn't even seem like he was aware I'd heard him.
"If I keep learning from you, then I think I can get one of these birds to fly!"
"Shut up! Please, shut up!"
"…You think you can get it to fly, child…?"
"I really do, uncle! If I can do that, then… maybe I can even surpass you, someday! Get my works to fly so high, they could even reach Olympus itself!"
That did it. A cold rush ran straight down my spine. There was no going back. No taking it back.
"…Child, you really think you can outshine me? You think you can garner the attention of even the gods themselves" Caster smiled, gesturing for Perdix to come over to where he was.
…Right by the edge of the cliff.
The calm in young Caster's voice… Perdix, you just signed your death warrant…
"I hope to reach that point, someday!"
"You think you can fly so high, as to reach the heavens?"
"I really do! What do you think, uncle?! Do you think I could do it?!"
"I don't know, child" the younger version of Caster's smile turned sinister as he grabbed hold of Perdix's arm. "Why don't we conduct a test?!"
It wasn't until those final moments that Perdix seemed to realize what was about to happen. What was happening. The innocent, childlike wonder and excitement gave way to shock and horror as he watched his uncle pull him forward, and let go.
"Uncle" Perdix's cry was all that indicated he was still there at all as he was thrown off the cliff.
"You think you can surpass me and reach the heavens?! Then come on Perdix, show me! Show me how high you can-!"
A flash of bright gold and white light blitzed my vision, causing me to bury my face in my hands. As quickly as the light came, though, it disappeared, and as I blinked the spots from my eyes, I nearly gasped.
Floating in front of the cliff, above the younger version of Caster, was a woman who radiated raw power. Decked head to toe in dazzling, polished, silver armor, with a spear that put even Longinus to shame, in terms of looks. The face of her shield had the face of an owl engraved upon it.
"Daedalus! You dare!"
When she spoke, I could feel the ground beneath my feet shaking, which was trippy as hell, considering this was still supposedly a dream! Yet, despite me being nearly taken off my feet from surprise, the younger version of Caster stood his ground, staring right back at the set of storm grey eyes that bore down on him.
"Holy shit… That's-"
"Athena" Caster confirmed through the mental link. "I see you managed to avoid blinding yourself, at least."
"I dare? I dare?! Those are my words, Athena" the younger version of Caster shouted back. "After all this silence?! After all this time?! You-"
"Enough! Don't turn this on me, Daedalus" Athena's voice seemed to echo, despite it being out in the open. "You, who would murder his own nephew!"
"…You could have told me about the lightshow" I muttered through the mental link to Caster.
"Why do you think I closed my eyes, child?"
"…You closed your eyes that in advance?"
"What? Did you think I couldn't bear to watch my past play out before me? Bah, child, this is not the first time I've had the events replayed to me."
That… Well, for Caster, I suppose that did make some sense… Emphasis on some.
"What, and I suppose you came here to save him from me" the younger version of Caster shouted back. "By turning him into that thing!"
I followed the pointing finger to a little white mass perched atop Athena's shoulder. It was a bird. A partridge. The first partridge. Perdix.
"That thing is his creation given form. Made flesh and blood. Of course, you would be blind to that."
"You accuse me of being blind?! Of all people?! If anyone here is blind it's you, Athena! I'm the greatest! The best! Yet after all I've done, all I've created in your name, you would forsake me?!"
"You speak of separate matters. Nobody questions your capabilities, Daedalus, but your arrogance has crossed the line!"
"My arrogance? My arrogance?! You… a god… would lecture me about arrogance?!"
"I would! Nothing mortal lasts forever, Daedalus! Not even your genius."
"Oh, but your wisdom would last forever, wouldn't it?! The hypocrisy of the gods; disgusting!"
"How you feel about matters is irrelevant. It changes not the fact you murdered your own flesh and blood, nor does it change the fact that child had my blessing!"
"Your blessing?! You would give the likes of him your blessing?! He was nothing without me!"
The world darkened as storm clouds gathered overhead, blocking out the sun.
"That child had only the brightest of futures ahead of him! A future which you saw fit to steal unjustly!"
"If anyone's stolen any future, it was you who stole mine! If anyone should have been blessed, it was me! I'm the greatest! I'm the one everyone remembers! It will be me who goes unforgotten!"
"On that, we agree."
"I- What…?"
I was just as confused as the younger version of Caster, staring up at the emotionless gaze of a goddess.
"You seek to be remembered forever? Then very well. Let that serve as your punishment!"
"Wha- Gaahhhhhh!"
A piercing, red glow came from both the outstretched hand of Athena, and from the shoulder of the younger version of Caster. Reduced to being on his hands and knees, roaring in pain. I could see faint wisps of smoke rising from the red glow from his shoulder. I could smell the burning of flesh.
"Let the whole world know of who you are! Let the whole world know of what you did on this day! You believe you stand above all others, Daedalus?! Then stand above all others, if you can, but know that you shall forever stand alone! Know that you shall forever be remembered for this act of murder!"
"Argh! C-Curse you… Athena!"
The red glow continued to grow brighter and brighter. I tried closing my eyes. Tried burying my face into my hands. Nothing helped. It was bright. Too bright! I couldn't open my eyes! I couldn't see! It hurt! It hurt too much! I was- I-
"Hah… hah… hah…" I shot up, breathing heavily.
…I was… I was back in my room. The red light was gone. Athena was gone. Younger Caster was gone… I was fine. I was alive. It had just been a dream. It had all just been a dream.
"Hah… So… That's how it went down, huh…" I sighed, laying back down in my bed. "…Not quite how the stories put it, but…"
…Beautiful…
A/N
I have no excuse for how long this took to get out. When it came to this bit, I just could not get it to go how I envisioned it. None of my little tricks to help me get in the zone, to help put what I picture and play out in my head to the pages, helped at all. I rewrote this five times, and then... I actually gave up on it, and walked away. For 5 days. Even now, I realize that this isn't quite how I would like this to go, but I also realize that this is probably the best I'll ever get it. Overall, it's not perfect, but I can at least stand by this. I suppose time will tell if it has the desired effect on all you readers; conveys what I wanted to get across.
10 days... I can't believe this took me ten days to get out... Would have been 9, but honestly, the building I'm renting a room in had a legit fire yesterday as I was trying to edit and post this, at 5 AM. It was only on the first floor, so no major damage to my room or anything I own, but still, the one time it was a legit fire, of course I would be in my PJs and completely not geared for standing out in the Canadian winter xD
As for the question that came in over the past 10 days... What would have happened if Nathan summoned Da Vinci?
A good question. One which I can't really answer, as it's too... vague? …Probably the best I can put it.
If you're asking me would they have gotten along, I would say... probably? At least for a little while at first? The nice thing for Nathan is that, due to drifting and loosely associating with as many people as possible, he can more or less blend into any group: his moral compass is either non-existent, or akin to Jack Sparrow's compass (by which I mean it points to whatever the fuck Nathan wants it to point at); take your pick.
As for what happens later... hard to say? Depends on so, so different many factors. Nathan is only as he is now because Caster lets him do whatever, effectively, and he feels like he's more or less safe and able to get away with whatever he wants, outside of Rider and Christopher. Considering Da Vinci would be more... hands on, as a servant, I'd imagine, Nathan would still be playing whatever roll was required of him, rather than doing what he really wants to do at any given moment, because the benefit of having a Heroic Spirit with him and being able to see the war play out is more beneficial to him and his desire to see all the beauty humanity has to offer. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him, after all.
As for what he'd think upon first summoning Da Vinci... He'd definitely question Da Vinci's chosen form. While he would agree that the Mona Lisa painting is beautiful (though not necessarily a painting of the perfect, most beautiful human form), Nathan would argue that taking that beautiful painting and molding your physical form after it as a 'human' would be a perversion of that beauty, not a personification of the beauty itself. So in that respect, he'd think Da Vinci is delusional and doesn't truly understand the beauty of humanity, though he likely wouldn't voice that bit; only voice his sentiment on the form itself being a self-inflicted perversion of the beauty Da Vinci created in life. Whatever rift that causes between them... well, I'll leave that for you all to judge (I don't like to try and deal with 'canonic' characters mixed with my own because I don't feel like I truly understand characters other people created; I have my own ideas of them, but they could very well be misinterpretations or whatever)
But that's just my thoughts on this over the past few days since I first saw the question and started thinking on it. Ultimately, I think Nathan would fare far worse in the war with Da Vinci than with Daedalus, but I went into this only wanting to really focus on Nathan, and only for sure having two servants: Daedalus and Saladin. Everything else I was willing to... 'compromise' on (which I did do for Saber, Lancer and Archer, but I'll tell you all that when I deal with those three more later). Having Nathan be with Daedalus was very specific for many reasons, one of which being I don't think Nathan would do well with other Heroic Spirits as servants.
To use every servant that is available in FGO (mobile, of course; can't play Arcade here in Canada), I would say Nathan would only truly get along with Shakespeare. Maybe. Like... a HARD maybe. And that doesn't bode well for Nathan, because Shakespeare is probably one of the last servants you want to summon, for anything, let alone a more 'typical' Holy Grail War.
Now, that isn't to say he couldn't avoid getting himself killed by his own servant if he summoned someone else (he can mold his personality to what he needs it to be very well), but outside of Caster and, again, maybe Shakespeare, it's unlikely Nathan would actually 'get along' with any servant, you know? Not likely Heroic Spirits like Cu or Artoria would support the kind of shit Nathan has pulled recently, I'd imagine, and while he would probably have an easier time working with someone like Bluebeard (Caster Gilles) than someone like Artoria, Nathan wouldn't really agree with Bluebeard either, so I wouldn't say he'd 'get along' with Bluebeard, so much as just acknowledge the beauty that Bluebeard could create, same as he would for anyone else.
…Basically, as I said above, I did this pairing for MANY, MANY REASONS, which I hope will be made clear come the end of this story.
Anyways, that's all for this post. Thank you to everyone for waiting so patiently for this (I hope it never happens again, but you never know with me...), and I'll see you all in the next post o7
