On the day that marked a quarter-moon since Leopardfur's exile began, she was met at the Beech Copse by a cat she had dreaded seeing.
The silver queen slipped from the undergrowth, her fur already bristling. Leopardfur felt her heart leap into her throat. "Silverstream," she meowed. "Hello."
Silverstream froze. She stared at Leopardfur for what felt like moons before she continued forward. She padded forward, silent, until she was only a few pawsteps away from Leopardfur. Her eyes were chips of ice as she stared into Leopardfur's gaze.
"So." Silverstream lashed her tail. "You're still coming here."
Leopardfur nodded wordlessly.
"Why?"
Leopardfur blinked at the question. "I am RiverClan," she answered. "I want to come home."
Silverstream gaze remained hard. "You almost destroyed your Clan," she snarled. "You let Tigerstar take over. You let them kill Blackclaw. You murdered my father."
Leopardfur looked away, claws of shame digging into her belly. "I know," she murmured.
"And you think you deserve to come back?" Silverstream demanded. Her claws sank into the grass. "After everything you did to us?"
No, Leopardfur thought. She could not answer with her words. She couldn't explain that she needed RiverClan, even after all that happened—even if she deserved far less.
Silverstream leaned forward, her lip curling. "You don't," she snarled. "Firestar might be willing to forgive you, but I won't. Put one paw out of place, look at one of my warriors the wrong way… I'll make sure you never set foot in RiverClan territory again."
Leopardfur bowed her head. "Of course."
Silverstream slammed a paw on the fish Leopardfur had brought and dragged it close by the tips of her claws. "If you think a few pieces of fresh-kill will make us forget what you've done, you're wrong."
Leopardfur didn't respond. She stared at the ground as Silverstream picked up the fish and padded away.
Tears dropped to her paws. Leopardfur wiped her muzzle firmly, her chest clenched painfully tight.
She's right. They'll never forget. How could they? Leopardfur gritted her teeth until her jaw hurt. Fresh-kill isn't enough. Apologies won't be enough. There's only one way to pay for the blood that was spilled because of me.
Leopardfur waited near the edge of the town until sunset, still as a stone. She had tracked the freshest rogue scent to this point.
Her quarry finally arrived as the sun was dipping behind the town. Four BloodClan rogues, reeking of crow-food. Two had collars, each with a few small trophies pierced through. She shivered. No cat came close to as horrific a collar as Scourge had worn, but it was unsettling to see any with the teeth of another cat bound to their throat.
Leopardfur took a breath to still her heart. I am RiverClan. I am a warrior. I am defending my territory.
With that, she charged. Blood pounded in her ears as she let out a fierce shriek. "Intruders!"
Leopardfur slammed into the nearest rogue, drawing her claws down their side. After their scream of surprise, she was deaf to everything but the pounding of her heart and her own battle cries. She attacked with the wildness of a fox, shredding her claws into them over and over. A companion rose to the cat's defense, and she leaped free to rake her claws across his face. A molly shouted something—Leopardfur kicked backwards into her throat.
The element of surprise had granted her only a few moments. Leopardfur gasped as claws hooked into her flank and tore open her flesh. One of the rogues bit down on her tail. Together, two of them dragged her backwards and slammed her to the earth.
"You stupid mange-pelt!" an orange tom snarled. "Thought you could take us on your own?"
A skinny black molly loomed closer, baring her teeth. "What happened, forest cat?" she sneered. "Did your mighty Clan abandon you?"
"Let's flay her," a small tom hissed. "She can mark our new border!"
Leopardfur tried to wriggle free, but the orange tom holding her slammed a paw onto her muzzle. He wrenched her neck as he used it to shove the side of her face into the ground. "Oh, I don't think so. I recognize you. This is the fleabag that attacked us just a couple days back." His claws dug into Leopardfur's muzzle, and she hissed in pain. "We're going to have some fun with you before we kill you."
Leopardfur's heart was pounding. She glared up at him. "I'll shred that stupid smirk off your face, dung-eater!"
The orange tom lifted his paw and dealt her a blow across the face that slashed open her cheek. "I think I'll start with the left eye," he mused, shaking blood from his claws. "Then the right. Or should we start by plucking out all your whiskers, first?"
The rogue molly leaned in close, her rank breath hot on Leopardfur's ear. "I'm going to take her ears," she hissed, making Leopardfur shudder. "Fury will love a new trophy for her collection."
Teeth pierced one of Leopardfur's ears, and she screamed. Another paw pressed hard on her throat. The other two BloodClanners set themselves upon her, tearing into her fur with keen claws.
Distantly, Leopardfur heard a caterwaul.
All went dark.
Was it worth it?
What? Who's there?
Have you already forgotten my voice?
Who are you? It's so dark… show yourself!
Was it worth it?
Come here!
Was it worth it?
Leopardfur came to slowly. Her vision was blurry. She felt dizzy. Am I…
As her vision cleared, she saw a ginger tom bent over her. He was saying something. Her ears were ringing.
"...fur? Leopardfur?"
Leopardfur blinked. Firestar? "What…" her throat hurt. "What happened?"
Firestar's eyes flashed with relief. "I thought you died," he meowed. "Were you ambushed?"
Leopardfur blinked slowly. She lifted her head. Blood was splattered across the grass. Shadefang and Reedtail sat a few fox-lengths away, licking their own scratches.
The rogues! Leopardfur looked at Firestar again. "Are they gone?" she rasped.
"Yes," Firestar meowed. "How did they find you?"
"They didn't," she said. "I attacked them."
Firestar's fur spiked. "You what?!"
Leopardfur took in a breath. Her throat ached. The tom must have cut off her air while she passed out. Everything hurt. She could see the ground was littered with tufts of her own fur. Leopardfur lifted her gaze again. "They were trespassing," she rasped.
Firestar furrowed his brow. "Leopardfur, I—for StarClan's sake, were you trying to get yourself killed?"
I wasn't not trying to get myself killed, she thought, wryly. "What do you care?" she demanded. "I'd be one less problem for you to worry about."
Firestar's frown deepened. "I told you to report them to a patrol," he growled. "Nobody wants you to die stupidly over fresh-kill."
Wanna bet? Leopardfur looked away, her eyes narrowed. I'd wager most of the Clan would be perfectly happy to find me dead.
Firestar sighed. "Come back to camp with us," he said. "Mudfur and Yellowfang will look at your wounds. You can leave again once they've looked at you."
"Why waste your herbs on a rogue?" Leopardfur spat. She wouldn't meet his gaze again. "I'm fine. Leave me."
Firestar's frown faded. "Leopardfur—"
"Leave me!" She made a half-hearted swipe at him. It was enough to make him flinch away, his eyes flashing.
After a heartbeat, Firestar's eyes narrowed. "Fine," he said. "But ask yourself exactly how you're helping RiverClan by throwing yourself into fights you can't win." He glanced at Shadefang and Reedtail. "Let's go remark the border."
Leopardfur kept her gaze on her paws. Truthfully, she was in more pain than she had felt in a long time. Her pelt had been shredded like moss. She was sure Firestar wouldn't have left her to her own devices if any of the wounds were lethal—he was too softhearted for that. But her pride and her body ached. She waited until she was sure her old Clanmates were gone before she tried to stand.
Leopardfur rose on trembling limbs. She limped to the nearest patch of ferns to lick her wounds. The scratches stung bitterly. Without the strength or will to drag herself back to her nest, she laid on her side, panting softly.
Where did it all go so wrong? Leopardfur closed her eyes. I… I lost everything. Everyone. My Clan, my respect, my kin… all for what? She dug her claws into the earth. To be leader?
It all seemed so minnow-brained now. How had she ever let Tigerstar worm his way into her mind? It was so easy to blame all that had happened on him. No one would have suffered the way they did if it weren't for him.
But that's not true, is it? Leopardfur's chest clenched tight. Father was right. It's my fault. Maybe even more than Tigerstar's. If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened. The thought was more painful than any cut the rogues had given her. She curled up as small as she could make herself, wrapping her paws around her face.
What have I done?
"Was it worth it?"
The face was Crookedstar's.
Paws urgently jostled Leopardfur awake. She gasped in pain as a paw pressed against one of her many wounds. "Frog-dung!"
"Leopardfur!" The cat shaking her was Sasha. The queen's eyes were wide. "Thank goodness—I—I thought you were dead!"
"What?" Leopardfur rasped. She felt dizzy. What was Sasha doing here?
"Oh, stars," Sasha went on. "You looked like you've been half-eaten by a fox! What happened to you?"
Leopardfur winced. "I'd say you should see the other cat, but… I hardly did much before they did this to me."
Sasha's gaze grew dark. "Was it your old Clan?" she asked.
"No," Leopardfur replied. "Some rogues from BloodClan. Caught them… trespassing."
Sasha narrowed her eyes. "You mouse-brain!" she hissed. "Your life is worth more than some prey! Don't you know they could have killed you? They would have enjoyed it!"
Leopardfur was tempted to say 'So what?', but she kept her jaws shut and looked away. Sasha's expression turned worried again. "Can you walk?"
"Yeah," Leopardfur muttered. "Why?"
"Come on," Sasha said, giving her a gentle nudge. "You're coming to stay with me."
Leopardfur frowned. "You don't need to do that. You have your kits to feed."
"Get up," Sasha ordered, her voice taking a firm edge. "I won't have any arguments. I'm not leaving you to get eaten by a fox."
Leopardfur rolled her eyes, but she felt a small spark of warmth in her heart. Sasha stood until Leopardfur leaned on her, and together they walked off in the direction of Sasha's den.
