Hi, everyone!

It's been ages, I know, and I'm extremely sorry. Life happens, that's the only excuse I have. But I come with a long chapter to kind of (I hope so) make it up to you. Anyways, it's SDCC and lots of things happen there, you know. I want to wish y'all a happy holiday season and let's hope 2021 is a better year to us than 2020 was. If you are still with me and this story I cannot thank you enough for the support. THANK YOU!

Disclaimer: I own nothing of TWD, everybody knows that already.

Enough babbling.

Enjoy.

A.


… SDCC

Mike was also part of the convention this year. One of his films got enough recognition to send him to San Diego during the summer. Once there, he realized Michonne's TV show was one of the most advertised and awaited by the fans. Maybe he could at least say hi to her. Or maybe he would not even have the chance to see her since it was all crazy here apparently.

But there she was; he could hear her laugh. He would recognize that sound among a million other sounds, it was one of the things he loved most about her when they were together. He excused himself from the group he was in and went to try and find her but when getting closer she turned around and headed the other direction without noticing him. He stood there not sure if he should follow her or leave it for another moment and that's when he noticed she stopped in front of another man. That smile. He also recognized that smile and to that man. He was smiling at her the same way... His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach.

"Mike", said Daryl when the man approached them. Michonne had her back to him and was silently sipping her drink.

"Daryl, Sasha," he said slowly. "Hi, Michonne."

"Hello, Mike." She gathered her things and stood up. "Guys, tell Anne I'm going back to the hotel. I texted her but just in case. I'm exhausted. See you later."

Both Daryl and Sasha nodded and Michonne turned around and started walking. Mike waited a few seconds, waved his hand to the couple, and followed her until they were in a hallway less crowded. She felt him following her and was getting pissed by the minute. He lightly touched her arm and she turned somehow annoyed.

"Michonne, can we talk?"

"Mike, I am really, really tired." She didn't dignify him with a look and kept on walking and he followed closely.

"That sounds like an excuse. You decided to go right when you saw me."

"Well, you got me. I don't want to talk to you."

"I just want to say I'm sorry, Mich..."

"I told you not to call me that!", she hissed and he ran past her and faced her. She had no choice but to stop or to bump into him.

Seriously?

"Five minutes. That's all, and I swear I'll leave you alone."

"No." She walked around him and kept going.

"I saw you," he almost screamed. Just loud enough for her to hear him over the people. That only caused her to roll her eyes now irritated for him stating something so obvious but she did not stop. Mike wasn't going to ruin her good mood. Hell no. "I saw you with Rick."

THAT made her pause. Michonne turned around and glared at him. What was that supposed to mean?

"You saw me with Rick… and? We work together, Mike, that's not a big deal."

"I know you work together but I didn't know you were so... close. Is that why you're not giving me another chance?"

"Excuse me?"

"I saw you, Michonne. I saw the way you were looking at each other, I saw the way he held your hand and how you responded to that. It is the same way you responded to me when we were together."

Michonne didn't say anything and simply glared at Mike. She needed a minute to regroup and realize what Mike was actually talking about. There was no way he could have seen when Rick held her hand in the middle of that crowd, maybe Mike was just trying to get under her skin. That must be it. Wait, but what if he did? Shit. The last thing she needed was him being in this convention ruining not just her time there with her friends and her castmates but also seeing things that he was not supposed to see in the first place.

"Is that what you want your five minutes for? To talk about me and Rick and whatever you think you saw?"

"I'm not stupid. Is this who you are now, Michonne? Someone who has an affair with a married man?"

Michonne could only open her mouth and shut it again in total disbelief of Mike saying that. She instantly got outraged at his implications. He was right, but again, he was not totally right, and the fact that it wasn't even his place to call her on what she was doing made her even angrier. She pressed her lips in an act to avoid reigning her tongue. All the thoughts and words that crossed her mind to tell him were definitely not appropriate.

"I'm going to give you the last free pass because of what we shared but here's what you are not going to do: as of right now you'll stop pretending you have anything to say about my life. You are not going to make me feel bad, if and when, I decide to move on with my life without you because that was a decision I made a long time ago. You are not going to spread rumors about me and Rick just because your jealous egotistical ass can't handle the reality of your situation. And most definitely you are not going to ruin my weekend with any assumption that I am involved with a married man. We are not talking again, not about this, not about anything. I've been very patient and polite but I am done. If I see you I'll go the other way and I expect you to give me the same courtesy. Goodbye, Mike."

She walked away, so annoyed with him and herself. Why did he feel the need to say that to her? Sometimes you just don't know people enough, she thought. He had no right whatsoever, but deep down she only felt like he was voicing what she was trying to bury in her mind, that twinge of conscience that told her it was not totally right but she decided to go ahead anyway when she finally accepted her feelings for Rick. They had to go about them the right way, there was no other way. She knew that, he knew that. She thought they were doing it like that, but apparently not. Daryl was sort of mad at her for how they were acting, Sasha also mentioned something, and now Mike. What if Lori… Oh, my god. What am I doing?

Rick was in the waiting room talking to Daryl when Sasha and Michonne appeared. The rest of the cast were on their way to lunch. Both men stood up and got ready to leave. Daryl was waiting for Sasha and Rick, internally waiting for Michonne, but merely accompanying his castmates before joining Lori and his kids. They could still hear the crowd cheering and applauding.

The panel was good; they had fun answering questions and recalling some aspects about past seasons and mainly trying to 'stay employed' as Daryl said and not spoiling the upcoming season. It was hard and people had really smart questions, fans, in general, were always good to them. Rick enjoyed having Michonne sitting by his side the whole time. He knew she did too. It was challenging not to look at her and let some of his feelings show, but anytime he was caught up looking at her he decided to just blame it on the characters and their closeness. It was easier that way. At least for now.

Michonne was a complete nervous wreck and not only for having Rick next to her. She did not think much of it initially because they had been in panels like this before, but now things had changed between them. He wouldn't waste any opportunity to slightly touch her when he positioned his arm on the back of her chair or just a brush of their hands when reaching for a paper. She could see he was a bit nervous too since he wouldn't stop scratching his stubble or his sideburns. But her main fear was in the form of Lori, sitting right there in front of them with their children. She looked so devoted, so interested, so…. in love? Michonne was confused as well because she was certain Rick wouldn't lie about something as serious as getting a divorce but she didn't want to feel like a home wrecker either. But being there, seeing his soon-to-be-ex-wife, his baby girl, and Carl, Michonne suddenly felt like an intruder and a lump lodged in her throat. All those butterflies she felt earlier felt like a dead weight in her stomach making her feel sick. Now, she wasn't sure she could do this.

Daryl stood up and left behind Sasha. Michonne just grabbed a bottle of water and got out after them giving Rick only a few seconds before reacting and trying to follow her. He just wanted to say something before having to go back to Lori and the kids. But Michonne was so quick he didn't have time to catch her before she left. The hallway was full of people moving from one place to the other and she seemed to disappear amidst them all.

Michonne moved fast. She didn't think about avoiding him; she just didn't know what to say to him without sounding stupid or trying to sound like wanting some confirmation. She was coming to the understanding that everything was a complete mistake and that they were being totally reckless. Whatever was going on between them at the moment, it was something that should have waited until the divorce was finalized. It was clear. Daryl was right. Rick didn't seem to care about it much, and she wished she could have the confidence of being the same way but she didn't. She didn't want that for her.

When she looked ahead she saw Daryl and Sasha waiting for her and they both strangely looked at her. She mouthed a 'what' and kept moving past them. Sasha raised an eyebrow but Daryl just gave her the let's go head tilt for her to walk and they followed Michonne.


They were supposed to have another panel in a few hours, all of them. She could use a bit of rest before hell breaks loose again. She managed to get some, all the time kind of dreading that Rick would call her or text her but he did not. So, when Anne texted her to tell her they would meet in the center in an hour and she should be in the lobby in 30 minutes for the shuttle to pick them all up, she got ready. Downstairs, she met almost the rest of the cast, and since they still had a few minutes she decided to order some green tea while waiting. Rick was not there yet, which was a good thing right now. Even if she did not want to think or look for him, that's something she would automatically do. On the other side, she could hear and see his son Carl talking to Rosita about some travel she made in her previous job. She smiled at Carl's fascinated face and intelligent questions. He was indeed his father's son.

"He is such a good kid, isn't he?" She gasped, a bit surprised when she realized Rick was standing next to her. Michonne answered without looking at him keeping her eyes on the boy that now was laughing at some story Rosita was telling.

"Yes, he is. You both have raised him well."

"I want to believe so. He is being so mature with all this… situation."

"Rick, not the moment to talk about that." She turned around and saw that obviously, he was alone. "Where are Lori and Judith?"

"They are coming down now, Lori had to change Judith but I came down with Carl ahead." He paused. "I was over there when you came down, you didn't see me but I did."

"Oh…" Of course. She looked around to see if his wife- ex-wife? or soon-to-be ex-wife? So confusing-was coming. But in the middle of it, she got entertained and completely swallowed by the blue of his eyes. She could stare at him all day and never get tired, get lost in that deep ocean, that made her feel herself and safe at the same time. Focus, Michonne. "Hmm… is it me or your beard is getting grayer each passing day?"

"Wow, such a subtle way of calling me old." She chortled for how easily he made it for her to supposedly hurt his feelings.

"Oh, come on, don't be so sensitive. That's not what I meant... although…"

"Don't even think of saying it, Michonne."

"What? You ARE old."

"Ouch!", he feigned being hurt. "That was not very polite."

"Hi, Michonne. Rick."

She froze when she heard her name and registered who it was. Rick also noticed a change in her demeanor when Mike said hello. She was so pissed off, and certainly did not want to play nice with Mike anymore. Why would he even bother to say anything to her?

"Mike, what are you doing here?"

"Hello, Mike."

"Just saying hi, I haven't seen Rick in a while. It's nice to see you, man."

"Yes, sure. Nice to see you, too. How have you been?" She rolled her eyes frustrated by his ex's immature common sense and total ignorance of the danger. Rick felt a bit uncomfortable staying with Mike there now; he knew they were not together anymore but still. Somehow, Michonne and him had got to a kind of understanding about their feelings. Despite the situation, he felt pity for the man, since he could notice how irked she was with his presence there and she was not even hiding it.

"It's fine. I mean, I'm better now, working and all. It helped me to get back on my feet, losing our chi…"

"Mike!", she hissed, keeping her voice down. "Really?"

"What?"

"Can you shut it?"

"What's the problem? I wasn't going to say anything that Rick probably already doesn't know …"

Lord, help me. To think I was going to have a son with him.

"Just… shut up. Ok? I am one breath away to lose my chill."

"I'm sorry, I really don't want to intrude, maybe you should discuss whatever it is..." Rick started saying but Michonne cut him short.

"No! There's absolutely nothing to discuss. Mike is leaving now, right?"

"It's fine, Rick. I did not know Michonne hated me this much."

Great, now you are playing the victim.

"I don't hate you, I just don't care about you anymore. I don't mind you saying hi to the people you know but I asked you already to keep me out of your radar." She was mad and she did not care about Rick knowing how things were between her and Mike. Why was he being like this?

"I'm sorry, Mich."

"No, you are not. And again, stop calling me that. You lost the privilege a long time ago." She couldn't raise her voice too much without calling everyone's attention but it was getting so hard to remain calm. She heard Rick clearing his throat and she reigned in her line of the many unpleasant adjectives she had ready to shoot at Mike.

"I think it's best you go, Mike." The man nodded at Rick slowly and Rick thought for a second that he had avoided a world war. He filed in his mind to ask her about this later when he suddenly felt someone held on to his shoulder. He felt a hand lowering his arm down to his own hand. His first instinct was to yank his arm away from whoever it was. Clearly, it was not Carl because he was still in his line of vision. This was a total invasion of his personal space and he was about to let the person know, but Michonne's face made him look before reacting violently. There it was: an all smiley Lori next to him and clinging to his arm as if nothing had happened, as if they were happy and in love. He tensed and held a head tilt.

"Hey, baby." She kissed him on the cheek and Rick tensed some more. Mike was still there and he couldn't shake Lori's arm the way he would have wanted, politely but firmly. His head started to hurt all of a sudden. How ugly a moment could be? Michonne managed to swallow hard and jumped from feeling raged to anxious, embarrassed, and beyond uncomfortable. She averted her eyes and for a few seconds, she could only focus on their hands intertwined. Lori's voice woke her from her reverie. "We are good to go. Hi, Michonne and…?"

"Mike."

"Hi, I'm Lori, Rick's wife." She extended her arm to greet him. Mike shook it.

"Nice to meet you." He glanced quickly at Michonne.

"Where's Judith?", Rick asked, trying to disentangle slightly, but Lori had a tight grip on his arm. She saw the opportunity and took it. Michonne knew about the divorce but the other man, whoever he was, did not. She was just playing her part as the producers said. She'll deal with Rick later.

"She is with Tara; she said she got her something and she is going to bring her down. Don't worry, baby." Every time she said 'baby', Rick felt a jump of bile in his stomach and Michonne, a stab twisting deep in her heart, but she kept her straight face. These were the moments she was dreading all along. This definitely qualified as the awkwardest moment of them all.

"I'm sure she'll be fine."

"See? Even Michonne knows Judith is in good hands."

"You are the one who didn't want to come because of Judith, sorry if I have a problem trusting you now."

"That was before." She caressed his arm but felt him stand still under her touch.

"Stop", he said in a growl.

"Well, I better go. Nice to meet you, Lori. Rick, Michonne. Nice to see y'all again."

"Sure."

Mike made his way past Lori and Rick and disappeared into the crowd. The three of them stayed there, in a very unpleasant and unsettling way. Rick only stared at Michonne trying to transmit in his eyes a part of how sorry he was for the present situation but she simply diverted her eyes and tried to look as dignified as possible; she was crumbling inside. There was no need for her to be feeling this way, for her to be in such a situation, no matter how much she realized Rick meant to her. And Lori fucking kept caressing his arm without him making any attempt to stop her. Constantly, unnervingly familiar, annoyingly close.

"I thought you were here with your boyfriend, Michonne."

"Hm... I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, I thought that Mike was your boyfriend."

"No, I am single and free at the moment." Totally free. Why am I still here? Move your feet, Michonne.

"Lori, that's none of your business," said Rick and successfully managed to disentangle from her.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way, Rick. It's just small talk."

"You can make small talk about something else, something not so personal."

"Why are you getting so defensive? Geez. I'm not asking about her bank account or anything."

"Would you like her asking you what you do for a living and see what you have to say about that?" Lori squinted at him trying to catch on to why he was being so protective of Michonne. Some ideas started to emerge in her mind. She glared at him for a few seconds in an attempt to figure him out.

"Rick, I don't mind her asking." Two minutes alone and things were already out of control. There was no surviving the whole weekend. Not like this, not with Lori, not the way they were handling this.

"Well, I hope you find someone soon," she declared with a creepy-ass smile. "There's nothing like sharing your life with the person you love."

Bitch, everybody knows you are getting a divorce. Drop the act.

"Oh, I agree. But it's not about simply finding a boyfriend for me, it's more about becoming someone's true soulmate, to share laughter and tears together. Isn't that what you two had?" She intentionally used the past tense and she saw Lori tensed.

"Kids make everything complicated."

"If you allow them to or, they can just make it more perfect. Becoming a parent is a blessing. Becoming a parent with the person you love and share that moment…"

Rick had enough of the awkward moment and decided to cut it short. He had no idea where Lori was going with this but he did not want Michonne to feel as he was imagining, if it even was half of what he felt when Mike was there. It was lucky that Tara came through the door at that moment with Judith. Michonne gave them her best cool-headed smile and said goodbye to the couple and before Rick or Lori could reply she disappeared into the crowd too.


"Rick, we need to wait a bit while they prepare the panel and everyone comes in" when Rick only hummed in approval, Anne got exasperated. "Or maybe we wait for you to let the aliens and walkers come out and eat us all".

"That's fine by me", he said without paying attention.

"Seriously?"

"What?"

"You have not listened to a word I said!"

"Of course I have…"

"Of course you have not! We didn't have aliens or zombies in the audience until you approved of them!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Anne. I'm a bit distracted. You are handling that, why are you asking me anything?"

"I wasn't really asking, I was just telling you why it's taking so long."

"It's ok."

"Let me see where the others are, they should be here now." That moment they saw the door opened and Daryl walked in. Sasha followed a couple of minutes behind laughing with Maggie on her toes.

"It's his fault this time!", Sasha said excusing herself. Daryl looked at her and shook his head.

"What are we, five? You are not supposed to rat me out like that. Besides, those were your friends."

"Correction: our friends. And it's always my fault. I need a pass." She and Maggie kept giggling.

"Are we ready?", Maggie was ready to sit down and get through with this day.

"Where's Michonne?", Anne asked seeing she was the one missing.

"She should be here in 5 minutes. She mentioned something about some pictures like five minutes ago."

Rick lifted his head when he heard her name being mentioned. He was struggling trying to understand what happened earlier when she disappeared so fast. Granted: the morning situation was totally chaotic and cringey, and had them both on edge. Maybe she was tired as he was, but he wanted at least to apologize for the difficult moment. He heard some stilettos coming closer, the door opened and Michonne appeared, sipping another of her teas. Her locks were in a bun now, away from her face making a big display of her glorious face.

"Sorry, sorry! There were a bunch of kids and they wanted pictures, they were dressed like me in the show and I just couldn't say no. They were so damn adorable!"

"Well, since you are here we can get ready to go out there…"

"Where's everyone else?"

"They are in the other room, I'll get them now as we pass by." Anne made her way to the door and Michonne stopped her for a question.

"Actually, where am I sitting this time?"

"The usual, next to Rick in the middle of the table."

"Hmm... can I switch places with someone?", she asked not looking at Rick. Or Sasha, or Daryl. Anne just frowned.

"Michonne, you are the leading lady now, that's where you are usually seated. Is there something wrong?"

"Yes, is there something wrong?'', Rick asked now standing up and looking at her quizzically.

Oh, oh, Sasha thought. What is going on right now?

"Nothing's wrong. I'm not feeling well and I just want to be near the exit just in case I have to… you know… exit." Damn, that was less embarrassing in my head.

Nobody spoke for a few seconds that looked like ages for Michonne. She came up with the plan that the first thing was to be as far away as possible from Rick. Them sitting together was not going to work right now.

"She can trade places with me", said Maggie timidly. "I think I'm at the end of the table, I mean, I asked for that the other day. Will that help?"

"Yes, Maggie. Thank you."

"Sure."

"Ok, if that's sorted let's go."

The producer headed the way out followed by Maggie, Daryl, and Sasha. Michonne was coming out last but Rick's voice stopped her when her hand was on the doorknob. Damn it.

"Michonne." She pressed her lips closing her eyes and got ready for his questioning gaze before turning around. "Can you stay a minute?"

"Sure, what is it?", she spun slowly but did not move away from the door.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes", she lied. My stomach is making flips, but I'm fine. "Why?"

"You said you were not feeling well and you also changed seats with Maggie…", Rick trailed off still trying to understand. It was obvious she was lying.

"Hmm… well, I'm technically fine but my stomach is a bit upset. I think I'm just too stressed." Rick moved to get closer to her and she became stiff. "Rick, we need to be careful. Actually, I think we should just stop whatever we are doing."

"Whatever we are doing?", and here came the signature head tilt.

"Yes, you know what I mean. This… it's not appropriate. I wasn't thinking clearly…"

"Are you listening to what you are saying?"

"Yes, I thought it wouldn't hurt me but it did, and I shouldn't feel this way not when your wife is here too. I don't want to be this person, I don't want to feel like this."

"I said it wasn't going to be easy, Michonne. It is not easy for me. Don't do this." He pleaded with her while approaching her but she took another step back.

"No. What we…. what we feel…", she took a deep breath to get the necessary strength to keep going. "We can't do this anymore. Not until you are free. No more talks about how we feel. No more subtle ways of… What we feel has to wait."

This time he didn't respond. He had been pressing all along; he had the feeling he had overwhelmed her. He was the married party here and he was doing everything to get free, but even though she gave in a bit initially it did not mean she was feeling totally at ease. It wasn't a ride in the park for him either.

"What happened with your wife just proved it."

"You know Lori was just being Lori."

"Clinging to your arm and calling you baby when we all know you are getting a divorce? I don't know what to believe, Rick."

"Michonne, you can't be serious right now."

"Let's just press pause. I need to press pause." She pivoted again. "I'll see you outside."

She opened the door and headed out and this time Rick did not stop her. What happened right now? Being with Michonne and what they felt for each other was two of the things he was more sure of in his life. They were evolving, becoming even closer, more open to each other. Press pause? It's not like they were actually together. Just when he thought he could have his life back together... One thing he learned from all this: he needed to stay away from Lori from now on. No more living together. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to call his agent. He needed a new apartment to start living as soon as possible. After this weekend was not even soon enough.


And thank you if you made it here. I sincerely hope you don't hate me too much, but they always say the darkest hour is right before dawn right? (or something like that). Anyways, all your reviews will be loved, waited for and appreciated. Still stay safe and happy new year! :)