Wishfull-star: (´。• ᵕ •。`)
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Luffy was eating lunch and looking out the window of the class at an unsightly scene. Bellamy was beating some kid up. He was a lot smaller, but not from their class. Zoro and Sanji were playing cards animatedly with Chopper and Bon Clay, a very animated guy who tried to get along with everybody.
He watched as Bellamy punched him in the gut. It left a bad taste in his mouth, but he didn't do anything about it. He didn't know the kid, and didn't want to insert himself in a dangerous place. If he was somehow hit, he would no doubt face embarrassing consequences. And knowing about that weakness, it might spread to Dellinger, the other mean kid in their class.
He mostly left the three alone once he deemed them not good enough to tease. Or maybe too good to tease, nobody said anything about it. The three friends kept distance from much of the class.
"What's wrong?" Sanji asked. Luffy pointed out the window. Bellamy was gone, but the kid was on the ground, crying. Sanji frowned with his eyebrows furrowed. "Bellamy is an asshole," he said. Luffy nodded, finishing his sandwich and putting his finished bento back in his backpack. At least he leaves us alone besides being annoying. "That's true. Not that we couldn't take him if we wanted to. His quirk isn't that good at fighting."
Plus, he seems slow. "Yeah. I bet you could take him. He has a thick neck, after all," the blonde joked. Luffy shook his head with a sigh. But he was really good at the double leg grapple around the neck. Inazuma was amazed at it when Luffy was able to achieve it.
"Hoh? You actually aren't useless and weak?" Dellinger wondered, having heard them. Luffy didn't flinch or take the bait. Dellinger liked the get into arguments, and not responding or replying in a calm voice diffused the situation when he knew it was pointless to attempt to rile them up.
"None of your business," Sanji said, still sitting on Luffy's desk. Luffy saw a girl with the victim, trying to make him feel better and cheer him up. Luffy pitied him, and sympathized. Being beaten and unable to do a thing was hell. He knew that well. But he couldn't exactly jump down from the window and tackle Bellamy or anything of the sort.
Well, he probably could, but he didn't want to get suspended. He'd probably cry and that would be embarrassing. But he also felt bad being the uninvolved bystander. He sighed and looked away from the window. Sanji was having a staring battle with Dellinger. "I want to see what you're made of. You've never actually said what your quirks are."
Zoro stepped in. "I'm not going to fight you. I already swore I wouldn't beat the shit out of people for making me angry anymore. It seems you never grew out of that phase, though." There he went. Zoro may not physically hurt people anymore, but arguments were his forte with his on the spot comebacks. Dellinger grinned and blew up his hand as a threat.
Luffy pierced his leg with his fingernail to suppress the flashback. He did that a lot, when there were no teachers around. Luffy hid it every time it happened. Every time the sound was too loud and sudden. Hurting himself worked to keep him grounded, even as the fear spiked through his body like a dagger.
He was proud to not have had any flashbacks in front of his classmates, or any students. There had been a few times in front of Rayleigh when he would say his mom called for him and would take him out of the room if things were going wrong. Like when there was a shouting match from a bunch of people, and Luffy was unable to move until Rayleigh asked for him to leave with him casually.
The teacher was a life saver, to be honest.
"Is that supposed to scare me?" Zoro asked with a yawn, putting his hands behind his head and leaning back in his chair. It seemed like everyone had forgotten about the card game other than Chopper, who was still waiting for his turn to come. Patiently. His patience was commendable.
Dellinger said, "It should," with a sneer. Zoro shrugged one shoulder. "We're not pussies, but we're also not prone to have violent reactions when we feel insecure." This pissed Dellinger off, who glared at him. Zoro raised his brows in amusement, about to taunt him some more before the bell rang.
Bellamy didn't return, but his backpack was picked up, so he must have gotten in trouble. Good. Luffy was glad of that. After classes were over, he was about to leave when Dellinger confronted him and his two friends in the hallway. Chopper had been picked up by his dad and wasn't going to walk with Luffy that day. He knew he was coming down with a stomach bug, and just wanted to get home.
His quirk was handy for himself, too. He knew when he was sick at any time. "What?" Sanji asked, irritated.
Zoro popped his neck, but walked straight past Dellinger, who was exploding his hands when Luffy put earbuds in his ears immediately to drown them out. He was good at reading lips all right. Not as well as a deaf person could, but he knew regardless. Dellinger reached out to grab Zoro's arm, but he sidestepped, wrapped his own arm around the bully's, with his hands behind his head and then pushed him hard into the wall.
Then the three went walking, hearing angry booms behind them until an adult came and told him to stop it or he'd be suspended for using his quirk like that again. It never stuck. He still did it. And it worked to scare others. Especially since he did seem to use it against other kids off campus.
But he didn't follow them. Sanji and Zoro got on their bikes, and Luffy walked home. He had his earbuds in one ear while he walked. It was nice outside. Not many clouds, and it was breezy and cool, making his arm sleeve actually feel good. He noticed a kid, young, bouncing a ball on the sidewalk across the busy street. He was growing increasingly worried with the kid's obliviousness to the cars driving back and forth. He stopped walking, but couldn't bring himself to speak, to tell her to be careful. He knew he should, but again, his brain forced him to stay silent.
Then she dropped her ball and it rolled into the street. Please notice the cars. Where are your parents? Luffy thought. Then she walked into the street and Luffy started running. He couldn't let some little kid get run over in front of him. And while there were no cars coming up the right lane, there was a bus going at a fast speed towards where the ball was.
Luffy was slow and was unable to reach her in time before the bus was just gone. But Luffy was suddenly standing on the sidewalk, holding the little girl against his chest. He was breathing heavily, confused and shaking. The kid was crying.
Luffy picked her up more, thinking she was no older than three, and walked up the sidewalk she'd come down, silently and asking nothing of the crying girl. Saying nothing, not comforting her. He was too confused as to what happened. He was on the street, trying to get to the girl. But he was too late, yet was somehow back to safety and the kid was okay.
He'd used his quirk.
After almost six years, he'd used it. He was angry he couldn't have saved her without it. Angry that the girl had gone into the street, angry that she had no parent. He came across a fretting woman, and walked up to her. She started crying when she saw Luffy walking over. He assumed this kid was hers, and when the girl started to cry, "Mommy!" he felt it was safe to give her back.
"Lami!" she shouted and took Lami from Luffy. He moved his sleeve back in place, and walked across the street to go home, making sure there were no cars to hit him this time.
"T-There w-was a c-car an' he s-saved me!" he heard Lami shout across the street. He kept walking when the mother wanted to thank him and asked his name. He didn't reply, just hunched over and walked faster. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, and he tried to make them into fists to stop the shaking, but it didn't work.
Why? Why couldn't his quirk have saved him when he needed it?! Why didn't it save Luffy? He would be normal if his goddamn quirk had done its job! He rubbed his hands down his face and walked home quicker. He was glad the mother didn't follow him at all. He didn't want to see her again, or the little girl.
But, if his quirk hadn't activated without his permission, that little girl would be a splatter on the front of that bus. She would be dead, would have died right in front of him. He didn't want it to, but he was grateful his quirk had worked in that moment. Luffy was sure it wouldn't have worked for him if he had wanted it to. It had reacted on it's own.
He threw his backpack down on the couch and went to the garage to do fifty flips, back and forth until his head was spinning, and he started punching the sandbag in the corner. Why? Why did it help others but not himself? He touched the damaged skin of his face, fingers brushing over the textured skin. He looked at his uncovered arm, seeing the alarming amount of scars and small burns from cigarettes.
He didn't want to think about it, so he punched the bag harder, angry and hurting his knuckles. He didn't even notice Sabo was there until he had gently gripped Luffy's hand. He jumped, but didn't have a flashback. He didn't need that right now, too. "Did something happen?" Sabo asked in concern. He took Luffy's red knuckles and held his hand in worry.
But he had to let go so Luffy could sign his reply. I used my quirk on accident. Sabo was shocked. They never spoke about Luffy's quirk. It was like a taboo in the house. And nobody had expected him to use it again, until he recovered enough emotionally. Nobody thought he'd ever use it on accident.
And Sabo had to be wondering: why now? So he asked what had happened. Some stupid toddler ran into the street and almost got hit by a car. I tried to get to her but wasn't fast enough. Then she was in my arms and I was back on the sidewalk. Sabo was quiet for a whole second before he smiled.
"You saved a little kid, Luffy," he said. Luffy sighed. I know and I'm happy she's alive. He sat on the mat. But why didn't I save myself? Why couldn't I use my quirk then? Sabo didn't know what to say. Since Luffy never told anybody about what happened in detail. "I don't know why it didn't work to save you, Lu. Maybe they had something to inhibit your quirk. Maybe they drugged you. If you wanted to leave, I don't think it was you keeping yourself there."
Luffy scowled, and curled into a ball. He was still angry. Everything could have been avoided if he had been able to get out of there. Sabo sat down in front of him on his knees and hugged him. "Maybe you should finally forgive yourself, Luffy. Forgive yourself for the unfortunate circumstance. It wasn't your fault, and you didn't ask for what happened. It will take a lot of work to get back to how you were before. But maybe, step by step, you could heal yourself. Without others' help.
"Take one step after the other. I'm not telling you to rush it. Just consider it," Sabo finished, running his hands down Luffy's back comfortingly. Luffy cried into his shoulder, still silent, of course. When Sabo pulled back, Luffy asked, What if I do everything and it's never enough?
The older brother replied, "You won't know until you try. Why don't we go inside and get something to eat?" Luffy nodded and the two stood up. Luffy wrapped his arms around himself, but wasn't hungry. He was upset and confused. Did his quirk value others lives over his own? It had to have been his fault.
He even taunted Luffy about it when he was hanging from the rafters. He promptly had a self-induced flashback. It was bad. As in, ending up biting his lip to not start screaming on the floor bad. After that, Rogue was there and mother and big brother sat on the couch on either side of Luffy, resting their heads on his shoulders.
When he moved his hands out of their grasp, they watched them as he signed. He told me my quirk was useless because it wasn't saving me. It was all my fault I was trapped there. Rouge gasped and Sabo grew furious.
"It was not your fault, Luffy," Rouge said in a kind but firm voice. Luffy didn't respond other than his gaze lowering to the floor. She gave a small sigh, but Luffy could tell it was not of impatience or anything. "I know it's not right for us to try and tell you how to feel after such an ordeal, but the first step in healing is forgiveness. Of yourself, nobody else. That incident broke you. But you've gone on without ever self harming to escape your feelings or nightmares."
Luffy didn't know where she was going with this, but listened nonetheless. "You are strong in many ways. Not just physical, but to be stronger, you should assist yourself in healing. I know we can't sympathize with what it feels like to hate your quirk, but maybe the hate is doing damage to you in the long run."
He knew she was right. Hate was toxic, and he did hate himself. And his quirk. He hated himself as a person more than his quirk, though. It wouldn't fix how he saw himself. He'd probably always be angry that he was unable to use his own power, but maybe using it would help him? It had been five years.
If he used his quirk, maybe Zoro and Sanji would use theirs around him. And mom and Sabo want him to use it. If it made them happy, made them happier to be with him, then he would use it. He was only close to happy when he was surrounded by happy people.
-x-
"Are you okay? You've been really distracted all session," Sanji said, sitting on the floor of the dojo during a break in their Friday session with Inazuma. Luffy sighed. He hadn't told them, not knowing at all what their reactions would be. "Is everything okay?" Sanji asked in worry, Zoro looking concerned now as well.
I used my quirk by accident.
"Really?!" Sanji asked before catching himself. He was happy Luffy had used his quirk. He nodded, and explained about the incident with Lami, the toddler that almost died. "So, you saved some kid?" Luffy nodded again. "That's awesome."
Zoro said, "How do you feel about it?" Luffy shrugged. "Do you want to use it again?" They didn't know why he hated it. He had just stopped using or talking about his quirk at all, with no reason to anybody. They may have realized why, but he'd never especially explained.
I don't know. It wouldn't really change anything.
"You wouldn't need to dodge or run away if you ever get in a dangerous situation," Sanji said. Zoro had a weird look. I won't rely on a failed system to keep me safe. I feel bad that you guys never use your quirks just cause I don't like mine.
"I don't really have any reason to use mine in everyday life, so it's not a big deal to me. And besides, I agree that you shouldn't only rely on your quirk to keep yourself safe. I think everybody should think that way. But you not using your quirk hasn't snatched mine away from me," Zoro explained. He looked at Luffy and the mute one could tell he was being completely honest. Luffy looked to Sanji in question for his opinion.
He leaned back against the wall and replied, "It's not you that keeps me from using my quirk. I just don't really like mine that much either. I can function just fine without it, y'know?" Zoro commented that all of their quirks could be a lot worse. They could be practically useless or even inconvenient for them. Like the body modification ones.
Luffy agreed that that was true. If you guys want to use your quirks, please do. Don't avoid it just cause I avoid mine. "Okay, we won't," Sanji said, and Zoro nodded in agreement. They didn't talk about the quirks again and just went back to training and then to the library to work on their homework and a class project.
It was distracting, and when it was getting later, they walked back to the dojo where they left their bikes, which was close, while Luffy pretended to walk back in his home direction, when he actually went to the park.
He sat down on the grass and tried to decide on what to do. He could only forgive himself by trying it out, but he didn't know the range. He could end up teleporting into the middle of a busy highway. He wouldn't be surprised before he died.
So he set his sights on the water fountain maybe thirty meters from him. He put his backpack back on and stood up. He probably looked weird, concentrating so hard on a drinking fountain. He took a deep breath and imagined himself standing right next to it. He opened them and then he was there, standing and looking at where he had been standing.
He hadn't heard a sound, made a sound. He was just there. He tried a couple more times, glad it wasn't very busy at the park. He could tell nobody was watching, and wanted to try something that would only work in a large area. Might as well attempt to have fun with it. He put his backpack down and backed up, facing a grassy plane.
Luffy ran and then did a series of flips before he made himself teleport mid flip halfway through the air and landed five feet away perfectly. He tried again and again, like he was dancing through the air. He wondered what he looked like. When he saw some people watching in the distance, he stopped and went to his backpack and then left.
He called Rouge to pick him up, and she said she'd be there soon, clearly wondering why he was at the park. And she did sound a bit angry or irritated, maybe he should have told somebody he was going there. In case there had been an emergency or something. He got picked up and was scolded. He deserved it, he knew. He was only thirteen. Walking to and from school was different since he could always be found between those two locations.
He apologized and she accepted it, and when they got home, he signed all about his time at the park. Her anger was erased when he told her he'd been attempting his quirk and it had gone alright. She was happy, and a smile was good to see.
-x-
Luffy watched, for the umpteenth time, as Bellamy targeted someone smaller and weaker than him. He observed from the window before he started to feel like scum for not doing anything but reporting it. He clearly wasn't going to stop hurting them no matter if he got in trouble. Why wasn't he expelled yet?
When the boy started to cry and try to run away, only to be chased by his fast springy leg power, Luffy grit his teeth and went into the hall before teleporting to the boy, right in front of him and then grabbing him and dragging him around the corner to hide.
Luffy then brought him into the boy's bathroom. The other boy was still crying. Luffy frowned deeply in pity and sympathy before he got a wet paper towel and started to wipe the blood off of his lip with it. He dried it off with toilet paper and then took him to the nurse's office. Luffy didn't get his name. All he knew was that he had a long nose, longer than any Luffy had ever seen before. But he wouldn't judge anybody on any strange features. He was covered in them after all. He hurried back to class and sat back down.
Zoro asked where he'd gone. Helped a kid Bellamy was beating up. Zoro looked like he definitely approved. "You've been practicing more?" Luffy nodded. "That's awesome. I should start working on mine more. Sanji, too." Luffy wondered why they would want to. Why they would need to.
Well, to defend themselves, maybe. Luffy's quirk was definitely not offensive. It let him get away, not attack. Zoro and Sanji's could be used against other people. But using your quirk against others was illegal unless it was consensual. They would probably only fight against each other. Or Sabo and Ace if they agreed. They probably would. Practice would be helpful for them, too.
Bellamy stormed into the class and made a beeline to Luffy. Zoro and Sanji immediately were on guard and on either side of Luffy. They were so protective. It warmed and broke his heart at the same time. "What did you do?" Luffy shrugged. Bellamy didn't know sign language, of course. "You interfered in my fight! Is that your quirk?" he hissed. Luffy shrugged again.
When he made to walk threatening towards Luffy, Zoro stepped in and slammed his hand into the front of Bellamy's fingers, jamming three of them and making him cry out in the sudden pain. The green haired teen was looking at him with a terrifying look. The blonde scowled deeply, face sweating at the pain in his fingers.
Everyone in the class had gone silent, even Dellinger was quietly watching. Then Crocus came in for science, and Bellamy eventually left to fix his fingers, get braces for them since it was the only thing he could do for it. Zoro was angry all day. After class, Luffy stopped him and signed that he was okay, and that he didn't need to be angry.
Zoro sighed and said he knew, but it was hard not to get angry. I know. But I can defend myself now. I don't have a problem with you wanting to not get me hurt, but it's not necessary all the time. Zoro nodded and then got on his bike. Chopper was with them, back and no longer sick. They were starting to walk the usual route home.
Luffy didn't tell him about using his quirk, even though he probably had heard and seen both sides of the conversation. They weren't far when Luffy heard shouting. "H-Hey! Wait up!" the voice called. The two of them turned around to see the guy Luffy had saved earlier. He had a bandage on his forehead, but otherwise looked fine.
He caught up to them, and Luffy was uncomfortable. He didn't need any thanks from him. He'd rather just go home. "I wanted to say thank you, for helping me out," he said. "My name is Usopp! It's nice to meet you." He put his hand out to shake it, but Luffy didn't. He stayed quiet, but gave a nod. Usopp looked confused for a second, but then seemed to get over it and put his hand down.
Luffy signed, and Chopper was nice enough to translate. "'There's no need to thank me. I already ignored so many people I saw getting beat up'." Usopp frowned, and said that Bellamy and Dellinger are the meanest people he'd ever met. Luffy couldn't say the same, but they were the meanest kids he'd met. His own age, not adults who tortured him.
He still wore his sleeve on one arm, even if it was cold now and they were all wearing their full uniforms. So nobody would see his arm regardless. "Well, I just wanted to thank you. What's your name?" Chopper said his name. "Maybe we can be friends sometime." Luffy didn't nod or look happy with this, but it seemed Usopp picked up that Luffy didn't act normal pretty quickly, and hadn't made him feel wrong or like a freak. He was grateful for that. "Well, have a good weekend."
Luffy nodded in response, and he and Chopper walked back to their homes.
Later that day, after doing his homework, Luffy lay on his back on his bed, staring at the ceiling that had glowing star stickers on it from when he was little. He was frowning. Usually he had a blank or relaxed face when he was on his own. It was harder around a lot of people. But he was irritated.
His quirk was bothering him. It wasn't doing anything, but he didn't want to like it. It didn't deserve to be liked. It didn't deserve to be used after it failed him so badly. He looked at his burnt hand and arm, raising it above him. He touched the skin with his other hand. Bumpy and damaged for life. Dark pink. He frowned deeper. He wanted to hate his quirk, but he could see it being useful in emergencies. But he still wouldn't trust it as a real option. Would be a failsafe. He was glad he was able to save the girl, and not see her run over by a bus and killed, but he wished he could have saved her manually. Just getting there fast enough.
He sighed and rolled over before the doorbell rang, and not long after, there was a knock on his door. He opened it and was told by Sabo that somebody was at the door for him. Who is it? "I don't know. Some kid with a spotted hat. Looks about your age." There was nobody in his class with a spotted hat, and how did this person, if they were from school, find out where he lived? Was he followed?
They got to the front door and Sabo opened it to show a guy his age, though much taller, with black hair under a spotted white hat. He had dark circles under his eyes like he didn't sleep much. Different from the exhaustion often present on Luffy's face just because life was tiring. "Are you the guy who saved the little girl?" he asked bluntly, getting right to the point. Luffy nodded. "That was my sister." Then he bowed, but looked kind of hesitant. "Thank you."
Luffy nodded when he stood back up. Luffy signed to ask if she was okay, Sabo translating. "She's okay, and moved on pretty quickly. Well, thanks again. Bye." He didn't even give his name. So, he was a sort-of neighbor. Luffy went back into his room, laying back down and closing his eyes.
