A Promising Young SeeD
Chapter 6
Destroyer
"Your apartment is a piece of shit." Seifer unceremoniously tossed his jacket on the couch.
Zell's knuckles cracked menacingly and he rolled his shoulder. "Watch it, asshole."
Seifer shrugged. "Calm down, chicken-wuss. Just an observation. SeeD has much nicer safe houses than this in Esthar. Tells me you guys aren't working with Garden."
"That's a good thing, ya know?" Raijin offered, before Zell could start further argument with Seifer.
Quistis ground her teeth and said nothing as her uninvited guests strode across her living space without a backward glance. Make yourself at home, why don't you, she silently directed at Seifer's broad shoulders. Jackass.
It had taken two weeks before they showed up. She and Zell had wisely chosen to lay low after the events at the hospital. There was no point anyway, now that Seifer knew who they were, even if he didn't fully understand their intentions. Not that they understood his, either.
Two weeks. Two long agonizing weeks.
Quistis had secretly wondered if he was making them wait just to torment her.
It had been nearly one in the morning when, a blaring call on both their phones jostled them out of a fitful sleep.
Followed by a text from an unregistered number.
Open your damn door.
Zell had been rubbing sleep from his eyes next to her. They'd exchanged glances, knowing who it likely was. Quistis had grabbed a sweatshirt and tugged it over the tank top and shorts she had been sleeping in, before opening the door without looking through the peephole.
Seifer and Raijin had stood on the other side, both of their faces covered by hoods. Raijin looked much like the night she had seen him the week prior. If she didn't know what a softie Raijin was secretly on the inside, she would still be terrified of him.
Seifer had grinned as he swept his gaze over her, before strolling into her apartment like he owned the place. She didn't try to stop him snooping around, peeking into Zell's lab or anything. There was no point. When Seifer was determined, he almost always got his way. She might have been the only person on the planet that had ever stopped him, way back when.
Quistis blinked. The drowsiness was creeping back in. Maybe coffee was called for. Or a hard drink, considering the company.
"Not a bad set up, Chicken-wuss," Seifer called out from Zell's lab. "Wherever you are."
Zell emerged from the kitchen, his blue hair set in odd spikes from interrupted sleep, a cup of coffee in his hand. "Just get on with it, dickwad."
Seifer sank down onto Quistis' favorite armchair, making a point of taking up as much room as humanly possible. He then made a big show of gesturing to the couch, indicating they all should sit. Raijin remained standing, ever on guard. Zell and Quistis sat on their couch, tight smiles on their faces. Quistis with her back straight, hands clenched on her knees, rapt with attention, whereas Zell crossed his arms and leaned his head against the soft cushions, a bored and annoyed look on his face.
Seifer pushed the hood back from his face, and leaned forward, elbows on his knees.
"I think I have an idea of what's going on now. If my intel means anything," he began.
Zell opened his mouth to speak, but was silenced with a single look from Quistis.
"I think we may be able to strike a deal. But first I need to know what the two of you are really up to."
Quistis and Zell exchanged an apprehensive glance. Did they really have a choice?
After a good minute of silence, Quistis finally broke it. "Only if you do the same with us."
Seifer smirked, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms. "Nothing to share. I just figured out how to be one of the most powerful men in Esthar. And I am. That's all it is."
Bullshit. Seifer had romantic dreams of glory, not notoriety.
"Boss…" Raijin, of all people, was scolding him. This was interesting. Had they found an unexpected ally in Raijin?
Seifer's eyes darted to Raijin, and from the corner of her vision, Quistis saw Raijin nod imperceptibly.
Had the nature of their relationship changed? Raijin had always deferred to Seifer; the awed posse and the revered leader. Were they closer to equals, these days?
"Fine," Seifer finally conceded. "But the deal's off if you don't tell me everything."
Quistis answered before Zell could say whatever was on his mind, her hand darting out and squeezing him on the knee reassuringly. A move that did not go unnoticed by Seifer, whose eyes narrowed.
"Fine," she echoed.
There was another moment of silence before Quistis finally started her tale.
"It all started about a year ago. We had been on the infusions at Garden for about six months. I know you know about those—"
Seifer unconsciously rubbed at the tattoo on his forearm.
"The drugs made us high at first. I'm sure you're aware."
Seifer grunted in acknowledgement.
"Once the infusions kept going, the high lessened until there was nothing. It's why I can take the diamonds without feeling anything."
Seifer seemed unsurprised by any of this information. Meaning he probably already knew it. Somehow.
"Anyway, some people, well… as the drugs stopped making them high, they started looking elsewhere. There was a club in Deling City where there were rumors of something that could make you high like the GF-infusions."
"Diamonds," Seifer supplied.
Quistis nodded. "Yes. And there were some people who had been getting the infusions longer. Those who were more intimately tied with their GFs—"
"Cut to the chase. I can see where this story is going. Who overdosed?" Seifer asked, leaning forward on his knees once more. His eyes were cold, calculating. "Revenge tour, right? That's what you two are up to?"
Quistis shook her head, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "It was my fault. I told her they would be safe—I told her to keep going with the infusions. But, Eden…"
Zell reached out and placed his hand over Quistis', which was still on his knee. The intimate gesture made Seifer grit his teeth.
Raijin cleared his throat. "The SeeD in the news, ya know? Remember, boss, some months ago? News said some SeeD went rouge, had a drug problem and attacked some guys? Said she was punished, ya know."
"I'm guessing Cid Kramer didn't tell the news the whole story. So, what happened to her?" Seifer's voice was monotone, but still somehow sympathetic. As if he had nearly heard this story before.
Irvine had been frantically calling Zell for an hour. He had lost Selphie in a club.
Then Quistis' phone began to ring.
"Nothing she said made any sense. I realized she was high out of her mind. But even when she had taken diamonds before, she never sounded like that. She said—"
"Nothing is fun anymore."
"She sounded like she was hallucinating, but Selphie didn't mess around with other stuff, it was just the stupid withdrawal from the Garden infusions. Zell went to look for her. He couldn't find her anywhere for more than two days. Then we got a call at Garden. Rumors of a body with Garden tags. Zell was already in Deling City, so…" Quistis' face flushed, guilt washing over her. If she hadn't told Selphie to trust the drugs…. Selphie would have never tried to find them somewhere else.
She was lying in an alley. Thrown out with the garbage. Thrown out like garbage. Naked as the day she was born. Marks on her body, clear trauma between her legs.
Zell carried her for almost an hour before he could get help. The weight of it coursing through him. The pain. They were prepared to see their comrades in many different states, being mercenaries. But never this. Not this…
Quistis stared down at her hands, trying not to cry. Zell was chewing on his lip ring, tears streaming down his face unabashedly.
"When she woke up, she… she's not there. You know? Her tox screen said there were like twenty different drugs in her system. We don't even really know what happened to her."
"But she's alive? And awake?" Seifer asked. He made no moves to comfort the two of them, but his voice held no scorn or judgement.
Being alive didn't mean much after what had happened to her. Quistis had read the medical report. The physical exam. The rape exam…
Was she alive? Technically. Whatever she was now was a shell of Selphie. Alive? Yes. But gone. Completely gone.
Zell took a deep breath and stood abruptly. "They have to medicate her so she doesn't hurt herself. She's never said anything about what happened."
"But the news—" Raijin started.
Zell's fist found the small eating table, the force of it cracking the wood. "Fuck what the news said! Nothing was Selphie's fault! Someone slipped her something, or it was laced, or—" He shook his head.
Surprisingly, it was Seifer who spoke. "Calm down, Chicken-wuss. I believe you."
He stood, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "And more importantly, I can help you. It's really obviously you guys are in way over your heads and have no fucking idea what you're doing. The whole femme fatale thing is cute and all… but it's not going to work on these guys."
Quistis' eyes narrowed, but she wasn't quick enough to stop Zell from grabbing his coffee mug and flinging it against the wall, ceramic flying everywhere. It was her favorite mug, too.
Seifer didn't even flinch, and before Zell could take a step towards him, Raijin was there. A barrier between the two of them. The quiet sentinel.
"Not gonna help, ya know? Boss is right. You guys don't understand how far it goes."
Seifer remained expressionless, hands in his pockets, watching Quistis. He nodded his head to the side almost imperceptibly towards her bedroom door.
An invitation.
For his side of the story.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Quistis found Seifer taking in the appearance of her bedroom, eyes narrowing as they passed over the bed. The mess of the sheets and blankets made it obvious that two people had been sleeping there when he arrived, even if it was clear that one was on top of the covers and the other underneath.
From the other side of the door she could hear Raijin and Zell's voices, their tones amicable. And more importantly, calm. Raijin had always strangely had that effect on Zell.
Seifer finally sighed deeply, carding his hands through his hair, pushing it back from his eyes. "Sometimes, you wish you didn't remember anymore, huh?"
His question surprised her. Yes. Was the obvious answer. So much yes. Her hands were hardly clean from her time as a mercenary. The GFs had mercifully led them to believe otherwise. Maybe that was the point. Knowing all she had done. All any of them had done…
He marched purposefully to where she was standing by the door. His body now nearly unbearably close, his fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt. Surprisingly, she didn't stop him.
His fingers gently pushed up, bunching the material as his other hand sought something on her skin. The movement was intimate, but not completely. It was also purposeful, searching for a target.
He found it, lifting her shirt further as he almost reverently ghosted across a scar that went from her back to her front. Under the ribcage. Clean. One that had almost taken out her spleen.
"I'm sorry," Seifer said earnestly, meeting her eyes. He was deadly serious.
"I mean it. I'm sorry," he whispered again, as his hand kept tracing the outline of the scar. Back and forth along the raised flesh, eliciting goosebumps on her skin.
A souvenir of Hyperion from the war. One that thankfully hadn't done more damage, thanks to magic. Thanks to Rinoa.
"Rinoa healed me." Quistis placed her hand over Seifer's, not pushing his away, but stopping its movement against her skin. Instead, she held his palm against her, steadily. His touch warming her. "You remember the war? I thought—"
Part of the reason for Seifer's release from prison was based on the defense that he had been possessed by Ultimecia. That his actions were, for the most part, not his own. The power of the Sorceress over the Knight. Had that been a ruse?
Seifer shook his head, and ripped his hand from hers near-violently, to absently rub the tattoo on his forearm once again.
"I didn't remember. Not until—"
He sighed again, sitting down on the edge of her bed heavily and burying his face in his hands. "What was said at the trial was true. I didn't remember. Now, I… it's like watching myself in a movie. I can't believe I—people told me what happened and all. But seeing it and hearing it are…"
He sounded weary. Pained. "I'm sorry," he finished again, lamely.
Quistis sat down next to him carefully, turning to study his face. "I left a few nasty whip marks on you too, if I recall."
A flash of a grin. "That you did. You're downright terrifying, you know that?"
She couldn't help but laugh a little at that, some of the tension of the room lifted.
But, the unspoken question hung in the air between them. How did he get his memories back? Quistis knew better than to ask. He would tell her. She just had to be patient.
The sound of the clock ticking on the wall suddenly seemed alarmingly loud. Raijin and Zell's voices murmuring from the living room filled the deafening silence. Seifer was still for nearly five minutes before he finally spoke.
"So, the drugs worked for you too, huh? Brought back your memory?"
What did he mean "you too?"
"They brought back our memories and released the GFs. Yes. But they weren't without… side effects, as you know."
He laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, I know all right."
Seifer extended his arm to finally allow Quistis to see his tattoo.
Odin. Odin, of all things.
"To make sure I remember," he said softly. He kept his arm extended, willing her to look more carefully.
The tattoo was covering something up. Scarring. Track marks. From needles?
She looked at him with alarm and he covered the tattoo once more, tugging his shirt sleeve over it. "The deal for my full pardon was that they could test a new medication out on me. They needed to test someone who had used GFs. Raijin and Fujin volunteered too. I begged them not to—"
"So, all those clinical trials they talked about? Success?"
He gestured to himself. "You're looking at it. One of three people in the clinical trial. Well, the main person, anyway. One of the things that lovely drug did for me is bring back all my memories from possession. Fuck…"
He shook his head, burying his face in his hands once again.
"Fu had it the worst. Her and Pandemona. So bonded, you know? Once they figured out how the drug worked, they didn't bother giving her any more. Even though she needed it. Fuck, she needed it. Especially after they started the process."
Quistis remained quiet, but reached forward and gently placed her hand on Seifer's thigh. Trying to offer any small reassurance.
She had seen what happened to some SeeDs when they tried to stop the infusions early. Once the process had started, it was even harder to stop. The withdrawal was far worse.
Seifer's breathing hitched. "Fujin never would have done any of it, if… if she wasn't trying to help me."
"The diamonds," Quistis concluded. "She started taking diamonds to help, didn't she?"
Seifer grunted affirmatively. So, he was on a quest for revenge as well.
"Fujin overdosed. Two years ago. Took some bad doses. I started dealing shortly after," he finally admitted quietly.
"That's why you're so careful with your supply?"
Seifer sucked in a breath through his teeth, his fists clenched on the bed next to him. "Part of it, yeah. But also, makes it easier to track who is doing what. You have to take a lot of diamonds to overdose. Like… you'd be having to try to. So whatever Selphie took? No way that shit was pure. It's why I started stamping the pills. Trying to control some of the chaos, I guess."
"Except people started adding stuff?"
He sighed. "Yeah. That had been going on before. People were snorting all sorts of…" Seifer waved a dismissive hand. "It doesn't matter. Fujin overdosed on something."
Biting the bottom of her lip, Quistis glanced out of the corner of her eye. Seifer's chest was moving in a way that looked like he was stopping himself from crying.
"Raijin and I found her. In bed. We thought she was asleep, but—"
The smallest sniff was let out before Seifer cleared his throat. "But… she didn't wake up. Docs can't say if she will, or if she's even all there."
Seifer's hand was close to hers, where it still rested on his thigh. He was clenching and unclenching his fist into the sheets of her bed. Quistis quietly laid her hand over Seifer's larger one. "Zell found Selphie. In an alley in Deling City. We knew she was taking some things recreationally, but… she was always careful."
Three days. She had been missing for three days before Zell found her in that alley. Naked, bruised, abused. Taken advantage of by how many men, they would never know. The medical report was bad enough. Seeing her broken was even worse.
Zell carried Selphie's body, covering her in his own clothes. Carried her to the SeeD safehouse. The doctors confirmed what he already knew. As if the bruising of her thighs—the blood—as if it wasn't enough.
"When she woke up, she wouldn't…she couldn't tell us who did it to her, and… we don't even really know what happened to her. They sedated her so quickly, we never really got to talk…"
"And now?" At some point, Seifer's hand had turned over and their fingers had become intertwined.
"She remains sedated at a locked psych ward at Garden."
Seifer snorted. "Padded cell, huh?"
Quistis looked down at the floor, saying nothing.
"Don't you think it's a little odd that a bunch of guys drugged and attacked an A-rank SeeD?"
"Excuse me?"
"You really think it was random? That it was an accidental bad dose? That the guys who attacked her, and possibly drugged her, didn't know exactly who she was?"
Holy shit. How had they overlooked that detail? Quistis had seen Selphie take down garrisons of men while under the influence of malboro poison. So to be able to drug her enough to—
"Oh my god," Quistis whispered.
"It was a message for Garden," Seifer muttered, lifting their intertwined hands off the bed and turning them so he could study the back of her hand as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
"I don't understand. Why would they want to send that kind of message?"
A message that they were in charge. A power play.
"You still really don't get it, do you? This isn't a game. This isn't even a mission. You don't understand the people you are messing with. This is beyond anything you are imagining. You haven't even scratched the surface." Seifer's voice was more somber than she had ever heard before.
He met her gaze and searched her eyes for a moment. "There's no turning back, Quistis."
He rarely used her name, and hearing it was jarring. His voice was almost a whisper. No malice, no condescension. Deadly serious.
He had turned his body towards her at some point, angling his knees towards hers, their hands still locked together in a strong grip. Seifer's face inched closer to hers and she could feel his breath on her face. "No one is going to save you," he said softly.
"I don't need to—"
"Quistis. None of us are making it out of this alive. Don't you get it? All we can hope for is to take these bastards down with us."
"Seifer…"
"So, if you're in. Let's go. But we do it my way. Otherwise, go back to Balamb. Go back and forget about all this shit and live your life. Or never go back to Garden and grow old. But if you're in. It's the end. No turning back."
"I—"
"No one is going to save you. Not even me."
Quistis saw Selphie's smiling face. Carefree, planning the Garden Festival. She could hear her voice. And remembered that she would never see or hear that again.
There wasn't a moment of hesitation. "I'm in."
beta: colobonema *runs and hides*
